Years and years ago, when I was just starting my career, I worked on the call centre for a large electricity utility company. Call centre took roughly 2500 calls a day, and the expectation was that you took roughly 60 calls a day. Hitting that wasn't too hard; most of the calls were customers wanting to know how much their bill was, letting us know they were moving, and so forth. However, sometimes you got customers that got disconnected, were complaining about high bills, and basically keeping you on the phone for a long time.

Well, I had one of those days were those long calls were pretty much all I got. I got the customers with the complicated billing issues. I had customers yelling at me because they got cut off for non-payment. I had people who were probably calling me just so they could talk to someone. In short, it was a long day.

So it's getting close to the end of my day and I take a call from this customer who has been cut off for non-payment. It takes a lot to get cut off for non-payment; you basically have to be in arrears for more than 90 days, owe over $500, and never contact the utility. Alternatively, you could promise to pay the utility, then not follow through. Even then, the utility is pretty lenient and will let you make new arrangements. But this person, they were habitual. I'm talking multiple notices of disconnection in the past 12 months, making arrangements and breaking them constantly, and they owed well over $1000. They finally got cut off, and now they were bitching at me.

IIRC, they customer wanted to pay $50 to get reconnected, then $50 a month to pay off the arrears. Even on my best days this isn't something that I would have accepted. Now, this being a shitty day, and at the end of it, my level of flexibility was pretty low. I asked for $500 up front, $500 by end of month, or $750 up front and then $250 by the time the next bill was issued (it was bi-monthly billing). The customer starting raging, how could I do this to them, this was so unfair, they'll go to the press, and so forth. I repeated my offer to them, and they raged again. We did this a few times, before the customer dropped it on me.

"I can't believe that you're going to do this to me! You're such a bastard!"

At that point, I just ceased caring. My response,

"My parents were married at the time of my conception, so I'm positive I'm not a bastard. If you're going to try to insult me to get a better deal then you might want to try being accurate"

Dead silence on the phone for what seemed like a lifetime but was probably no more than a couple of seconds.

Then the customer piped up

"Okay, what's the fastest way to pay?"

I got $500 from the customer, noted their account really well, told my boss about it (in case they complained. My boss had a good laugh and said she hoped that we had it on tape), and then I got the hell outta dodge.

To this day, that call is probably the funniest customer experience I ever had

First time poster to this sub, sorry if I do bad at the formatting.

I work at a call center that deals with a few different products. Some stuff like at home workouts(think P90x), the MyPillow, grills, ladders, and skin care products. About 3 or 4 months ago we started selling a male enhancement supplement, and most of the calls are pranks or people not wanting to pay 60 dollars for a dick pill that they don't know will work.

So a few nights ago I get one of these calls.

M=Me, LG= "lawyer guy"

M: Thank you for calling Dickpill company, my name is Yesman69, our calls are recorded for quality assurance, is that okay?

LG: Yeah yeah whatever, I wanted to get the free supply you guys advertise on the radio, I was just wondering how to get that?

The commercial he's talking about only plays on the radio, in the commercial it clearly states "Call now and ask how to get a free months supply!" So it doesn't state that there is a sample pack, or that you get a totally free supply, just that you can get a free supply, which is true. The pricing is $60 for a month supply, or you can buy a 2 month supply for $120 and you get the third month free. That's how you get it. So I explain to him how it works and he comes back with a fantastic reply.

LG: So it's not a free supply?

M: Well sir, you would need to get a 2 month supply to get that free month, but you do have a 30-day money back guarantee so if you're not satisfied you can return it, you would just be out the shipping cost.

LG: Well you see sir, now you have a lawsuit on your hands. Me and my brother are class actions lawsuit lawyers and we always check on these free offers and see if they are legit. This one is a scam so you might wanna get your supervisor and let him know whats going on and get back to me so I can get the free supply and not file a class action lawsuit against your company.

M: okay sir give me one moment to grab him really quick and I'll see what he says, so hold for one moment.

So I place him on hold and tell my manager what he said. So we decide to listen to the commercial to see what exactly is says, and it says "ask how to get your free supply when you call now!" So while misleading, is not stating that is absolutely free, just that you can get a free supply. So my manager tells me to give him the customer service number, but let him know what the commercial says and have fun with it. So I do.

M: Alright sir are you still there?

LG: Yes I am, and how will I be getting my free supply?

M: Well sir, unfortunately, we do not have a way on our end to get you a totally free supply, but if you got the 2 months package we'd be happy to give you that third month free. Otherwise, I can only direct you to CS and you would have to talk to them about it.

LG: Okay but I am telling you that you guys are looking at one hell of a class action suit.

M: Well sir I cannot speak to that, but what did the commercial say exactly? because the only commercial that we currently air only says to ask how to get a free supply, not that you get free samples or anything.

LG: Well how the hell do I get the free supply then?!

M: You get a free months supply when you buy a 2 months supply.

LG:...............

M: Are you still there sir?

LG:... yeah I'm here, well let my bank account real quick to see if I have the money in my account.

M: Not a problem sir take your time.

Dude goes away for about 2 or 3 minutes, and I can hear him cussing under his breath and shuffling. He finally comes back on the phone...

LG: Alright so I don't have the money in my account right now so i'll have to call you back when i get paid.

M: Not a problem sir! Whenever you decide to call back, please don't hesitate to pick up the phone and give us a call, we'll be here 24/7

click

Seriously the most satisfying thing to listen to a guy claim to be a lawyer, then listen to him eat his own words.

I work for a small cable company and we are very generous with our discounts and helping customers but they know this and try to take advantage of the situation.

A customer called in wanting to lower his bill since it is too expensive. He is paying $75 for internet which isn't too bad for the speed he has and mentioned I can get it down to about $60 for the internet for 6 months. He then throws a bombshell on me, what about my tv service as well? Looking all around his account he never had tv service not even a box was registered to his account or name. I decided to probe for info and was able to get him to give me the serial number on the box. Was registered to a lady which happens to be his sister. And looking at her account that box is online and receiving. He was stealing cable from us and his sister gave him the box to plug in. The line on the outside box ended up being plugged in by him. I immediately turned off his modem and his sisters account. My supervisor was in the mean time calling the sister to inform them. We told them that both accounts will be suspended until the 2 years of cable that box has been receiving is paid. This infuriates the sister saying her brother said it was fine as long as she is paying her bill. We had to fax them both the terms of service explicitly banning this action. The brother ended up paying it in full and decided to get tv and cable. In the end as a bonus they gave me commission on the amount I was able to recover for finding this. Lesson to be learned, if he wasn't a cheap ass we would of never found out. Instead of paying less for his bill it went to nearly $ 185 and banned his account for any promotions in the future.

I was binging the stories here and remembered one from my days at a Waffle place.

Me, another server (S), and a cook (C) are working 3rd shift, which goes from 2100 to 0700. We're all standing around at about 0100, bored out of our skulls, when the phone rings. S answers it, starts taking an order, and suddenly jerks the phone away from her ear. The restaurant is empty aside from us, so we can hear this guy (G) perfectly.

G: Every time I order from here y'all always skimp on the goddamn jalapeños! I want EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA! I swear to God if y'all don't put enough on there-

S: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to quit screaming and cussing. You said you wanted extra peppers-

G: I'll do whatever I fucking want! I'm paying your salary, you fucking bitch!

S: ..Of course. We'll make sure there are extra peppers.

She hangs up, we all look at each other with pissed off expressions.

S: He wants extra jalapeños on his hashbrowns.

C: Oh, he'll get them.

Cook then proceeds to drop four servings worth of jalapeños on the grill with the hashbrowns, three servings of raw jalapeños on the plate before putting the hashbrowns on it, and S takes special pleasure in coating the whole thing in several ladles of jalapeño juice. The fumes made me sneeze from a foot away. We boxed it up, S went to smoke when the guy showed up so I was the one cashing him out.

G: If there ain't enough fucking peppers on here I'm coming back and cramming this in your face.

C: -with a grin- I don't think that'll be a problem, sir.

He never came back.

Source.

Hey all, I've got another story for you from a few years ago.

I used to work in a big-box store. My management team at this job was really in to this idea of "do above and beyond what they need all the time", just often times didn't put it into practice.

One day, during patio season (Mid June-July) I was working in garden, and a nice older couple came in. Like many people they'd come do their shopping, and have a seat in the nice comfy patio chairs. Unfortunately, my management felt this was impeding on OTHERS buying the product, and came up to talk to me.

Manager: Pierogi! Pieorgi, those two there. Get them out of those chairs! If they want to sit in 'em, they can take 'em home. We got quotas to meet!

Me: Alright, I'll go talk to them. They just might've gotten a little tired from shopping.

Manager: That's fine, but we have benches for that.

Now, at the time I lived in a small town of about 8,000 people. Most folks either went to church with you, their kids went to school with you, or both. These folks were new to me.

Me: Hello there! Can I help ya'll today?

Man: Oh! Just what we needed! We were just enjoying this great couch! We were talking about getting us one, but we don't have a way to get it to our house.

Me: Well, we don't normally do deliveries, but let me see what I can do.

Man: Y'see Franny? Thats great customer service!! I walked away happily, looking for my manager to ask him about delivery, only to find him looking for me!

Manager: Where have you been?! There's people waiting in garden!!

Me: Those folks wanna buy that couch. Manager: Then let them! They don't need you to do that!

Me: Actually, they wanted us to deliver it. Manager: We don't do that!

Me: ...I could deliver it, I have a bigger car and...

Manager: No, then you'd need to leave.

Me: They're willing to wait.

Manager: Fine, you wanna do it, Fine! Do it after your shift, but you're not getting overtime!

Me: That's fine by me.

And so I did. I got the couple's phone number and address, plugged it into my GPS, and went for it. Then I ran into a major problem:

The set was 5 assembled chairs, and a couch. At the time, I drove a Chevy Equinox, and while i could definitely fit 5 chairs, I couldn't fit the couch in one trip.

Determined, I decided to do what I had learned from being a southerner my whole life:

Rope and Duct tape fix all things.

I got all of the chairs into my vehicle, (albeit by rolling down all the windows and having the legs stick out like evil pyres of death from within..) and had one of my co-workers fetch a ladder for me. (Without my manager seeing, that is.)

I grabbed the couch, hoisting it on to the top of my car, while another of my co-workers tied it to the rear hitch of my car. (I knew that thing'd come in handy one day.) After some finangling, I got it attached, but I had one remaining problem...

My trunk, which was already ajar from the chairs inside the car, was flapping in the breeze, so to speak, like a wiggle man at a used car lot.

So, using my training as a then 20-year-old garden associate armed with only the wit of my forefathers and a roll of duct tape, I taped that son of a bitch down like I was Dexter and Jed Clampett'd it to the customer's home.

I called the customer, who met me outside, grinning from ear to ear at the sight of my amalgamation of car and chair.

Man: Now that's customer service! What do I owe you?

Now, one thing you should know about me is that I have an extremely hard time taking money from people for the things that I do. I like to be helpful, and get great joy from doing so...HOWEVER, in this particular case, I was dehydrated, most likely bleeding, and had whacked myself in the head to near concussion. I could've at least asked him for a cold drink, right?

Me: Not a thing, It's my pleasure. Thank you for shopping at ***.

I turned around to my car, when I was stopped by the man's wife, who grabbed my hand and shook it, sticking a piece of paper into it.

Me: Thank you. (opens hand) Ma'am, this is a $100 bill. I-

Woman: No, that's right. We heard your manager talking to you. You're worth a lot more than that hundred dollar bill, too. Remember that.

She reached up and patted my cheek, as only knowing, grandmotherly ladies can.

I took her words to heart. About a month later, I was "released" for "lack of customer response surveys" or something like that. The manager had me escorted out because "its just policy."

Thankfully, the security guard was a friend of mine, and let me walk out on my own, giving me a brotherly hug and handshake as I left.

I later got a job just down the road from that job, at a truck stop, and the lady and her husband came in one day, and were excited to see me. They even bragged about me to my new manager.

This isn't my story, but my gf. Obligatory sorry about poor formatting and whatnot, this story is quoted from my hazy memory, and im not really good at english so sorry about sounding like a 6 year old.

My gf works in a large and well known call center company, where they receive calls from other foreign countries. Also almost half of her coworkers are foreigners. In her short time there, she realized just how dumb and mean people can be. This is one of those people.

GF: (in a slightly accented filipino voice) Hello there! Welcome to [company]. My name is [name]. How may i help you?

In what my gf referred to as the "give me your manager" kind of tone, Racist Bitch replied:

RB: Wait, you're not american? I thought this was an american company.

GF: No mam, im a Filipino, and yes this company is US based, however we do services and has branches all over the world.

RB: I want you to transfer my call. I dont want to talk with third world blumbering idiots like you.

GF: Mam I can assure you i am quite trained and well experienced in this job. Please tell me your issue so i can help you fix it.

RB: Didn't you hear me you fucking idiot? I said TRANSFER MY CALL. I want to talk to somebody of my own IQ, I dont want to deal with somebody of your own species. And i want your whole name too. You should have transferred my call the first time i said it you moron.

That's right folks, RB doesn't see my GF as the same of her own species. GF is at first reluctant to transfer her call, as doing it is a way of showing incompetence, but this bitch is really taking it too far. GF being the devious little devil she is, transferred the call to Co-worker A.

Co-worker A: (in a very heavy indian accent) Hello mam. My name is [name]. How may i help you?

RB LOST HER SHIT. Cue screaming. Cue cussing. Screaming about how incompetent the company is, the classic how she's going to get them all fired, that she's an important person, blah blah blah.

GF and Co-worker finally earned the grounds to to hang up on RB (in their job, hanging up is a big no no) and for their manager to block her number. Nowadays, whenever their office needs a big laugh, they just play the recording of her call on the intercom.

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/5xhk4r/okay_mam_ill_transfer_your_call/

I work in a beach town and, especially towards the end of the summer, about half the people I deal with are rich entitled assholes who tip significantly worse than the much less wealthy locals or really anyone else I've ever served. Seriously, they all pay with credit cards and claim they "dont have cash for a tip". Mind you, I and everyone else I work with knows not to ask for tips or complain when we don't get one and we don't have a section for tips on receipts. So these people come in, believing that they need an excuse not to tip us even though no one is asking them to. Surely this means that they recognize that they should be tipping and feel some guilt without us saying anything.

Anyway, there was one woman and her husband who would come in every day and ask a million questions then leave, come in later with more questions, make me weigh out a lot of fish and ring up stuff for them, then leave and come back a third or fourth time to buy something totally different. These people were the bane of my life for 3 weeks. I'm a friendly lady, very good at mirroring customer energy (with a positive twist of course) so I can tell you that this woman WANTED to be mad at me. I had to carry twenty pound boxes of fish out constantly so I could try to find a cut that was both big and even enough for her. (Fun fact, there had never been one, four pound, uniformly thick piece of fluke. The things are tiny.) I know for a fact that this woman was wealthy (I mean you can usually tell when they are wearing RIDICULOUS getup to go clamming or sailing) because I'm friends with a lot of the people who own rentals or work at the full service rentals. Most of these people own nothing but their land and, contrary to popular belief, it is IMPOSSIBLE to sell those houses and land. So these are people who have to live quite frugally for three seasons of the year and stay 2-3 families to a house in the summer to increase rental properties. The people who stay in the summer are HORRIBLE to them, but this woman in particular I've heard some horror stories about. Despite her (almost certain) wealth, this woman never gave me a penny. She constantly complained and made me show her my work to get her price two or three times every time she bought anything (We add prices by hand. Even the credit card machine is an incredibly recent update. We're barebones technology wise 90% by circumstance, 10% to increase the simple beach town vibe that visitors love) She refused to be helped by my coworkers because she "doesn't like strange men" and would constantly ask to speak to my boss (a man) and then insist that his wife be called over from the neighboring store, which she runs, so she could complain. She complained on a regular basis because she believed that I had changed the prices, that I was lying about having certain fish in stock and multiple times that I wouldn't give her "local shrimp" which doesn't exist because I work in the northeast. I've known my boss and his wife for years. The store is small enough that he can also hear this woman shrieking at me if I get weights wrong by .1 and more than a few times because she thought the tuna was too red. He knows her complaints are BS. In fact, he frequently gives me the slips hidden within my tips as a joke, as opposed to keeping them in the complaint box, which is where they would have to be to affect my pay or get me fired. The woman left the third week of August and I was super jazzed for my next shift. I enjoy customer service, talking to locals, fisherman in particular, and people who travel from all over. I especially love talking to the parents. Though I'm always a bit peeved about the lack of tipping, I mostly find rude rich customers more funny than painful. This woman being an obvious exception. I usually answer the phone when it rings (like I said, small shop), because I really like interacting on the phone. I've perfected my friendly-service-lady voice and, particularly because my work can be labor intensive (lugging boxes), it's a relief to sit down sometimes. Calls are mostly just asking about closing time or to make orders for cooked food (mostly lobster). But sometimes people call because they lost their sunglasses or other belongings and it makes me really happy to provide a panicked person with the thing they're afraid they lost. So imagine my surprise when the woman who has been plaguing me daily calls from about three states away (on a layover, she said) to tell me that she lost her credit card. She yelled for a while, saying we had stolen it and had to mail it back to her or she would have me and my boss fired, which doesn't make any sense because he owns the store, but I knew it was an empty threat anyway. I did look fairly hard for the card, but it had been three days and we scrub the whole store top to bottom every night so we would have found it by then. I called her back and told her that she must have lost it somewhere else, but that we would keep looking. Got an earful about how this was a massive stress and how she only noticed because of about 200 dollars of 'phony' charges which the credit card company wouldn't repay because they all appeared legitimate, which is totally plausible considering how expensive seafood is.

TL;DR Horrible entitled wealthy woman spends three weeks tormenting me and other beach town service people then, in a tizzy, calls me, who genuinely tries but can't help, after she loses her credit card.

I was informed you all might enjoy this story, so here you go:

So at my center it takes a lot to get your number blocked, and I mean a lot. We've had people show up at the office and threaten physical violence to our staff who were still allowed to call back in.

So this guy, who I will call Twatface MacAsshole calls in, and within five seconds, I know this is going to be a shitshow, instead of saying hello, or I've got a problem, or any other pleasantries after I give my form-standard introduction, Twatface begins with "You fucks need to fix my car."

Oh boy.

Me: Well, if we're going to do that, I need to get some information from you.

TM: No, you can look that up yourself.

At this point, I just wanted to hang up on him, but I ran his phone number through our system and pulled up his name.

Me: Okay, I think I found you here, is your name Twatface MacAsshole?

TM: You need to fix my car, cocksucker. You're being sued -

Me: Let me stop you right there, if you can't be professional with me, I will terminate the call. (Luckily, my center allows us to do this, unluckily, I have to warn him three times before I can.)

TM: (now screaming) Don't you fucking hang up on me, I've wasted an hour already calling in about this (as soon as he says this, I'm pulling up old cases, y'all, he had already been hung up on by five other agents that day, and four more the day before.) and you need to fix my fucking car.

Me: You are outside the warranty that was provided by that lawsuit, we have no obligation to repair your car.

TM: How do you reconcile having a job like that? Is $15.22 an hour enough for you to be yelled at by me?

Guys, he knew down to the cent what my job paid, that freaked me out.

Me: As you are continuing to be unprofessional, I am giving you a final warning, stop shouting and insulting me, or I will disconnect the call.

TM: If you hang up on me I'm just going to keep calling back until you give me what I want.

Twatface MacAsshole disconnected the call at this point, and I put myself in ACW. As I'm gathering notes from my call and the calls from the past two days, he calls in again to one of my coworkers and starts screaming at her loud enough that I can hear it from two desks over. I flag her down and tell her to just hang up on him, I'm handling it.

Y'all, by the time I'm done gathering evidence against this guy, I have nearly forty cases covering almost sixty calls over a two month span. How this guy hadn't already been blacklisted is beyond me. He had screamed at every single advocate on our floor except the newbies who had only been around for a few days.

I forwarded all of my information to our division's supervisor and had the blacklist approved, his phone number was banned.

So of course, who is the first person I get a call from two hours later when I'm coming back from my lunch break? Twatface MacAsshole, calling on his friend's cell phone.

Y'all, I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face when I told him "you have been blacklisted from our center, every advocate on the floor has been notified that because of your behavior and repeated abuse towards our staff, nobody here will assist you, ever, with anything related to our brand. Do not contact us again."

He started yelling something about a lawyer, but I cut him off mid-word terminating the call. I was giddy for the rest of my shift.

Used to work at a very popular electronic store in the UK, let's call it the Pear Store.

Bit of background, in the EU we have something called 'Consumer Law' that says if there was a fault with a electronic device when you bought it you have 4 years to return it for free replacement.

So customer comes in with his broken Pear phone and demands to be seen now and not have to wait in line. He expressed that because his business is run via this phone and he cannot wait at all. He makes a big scene about how he needs it for his business etc etc. So I help him ahead of everyone else and inform him his phone needs replacing and it'll cost him. He looks pleased with himself and raises his voice to me and proudly explains that 'this fault is covered under EU consumer law. I don't have to pay!' Looks around to demonstrate his superiority over myself and to show all the other customers what they can do as well.

I polity declined and said "sir, you said this was your business phone? We helped you jump to queue because you needed it for business. The EU law is for consumers only, hence the name 'consumer law' you'll have to pay." Never seen a face drop so quickly.

TL;DR man shouts about being important business man and uses this to queue jump. Wants phone replacing immediately and for free, shouts about a law he thinks will help him but because he shouted about being a business man it does not apply to him. Shot self in foot.

I've never put anything on reddit before, but I couldn't resist this discussion.

Guy was at the register in my store (I was the manager) and began to berate my employee so angrily that I saw her starting to tear up. I walked over to see what was wrong. He said he wanted the three CD's he brought up to purchase for the same sale price that a rack of completely different CD's were priced. I told him his weren't even on sale. He said he didn't care, he wanted the sale price.

He then said he had ordered CD's from our store and always got the sale price. I asked him his name, and realized he hadn't purchased the CD's he ordered, and we had been holding them for him for two months.

He said he didn't want those CD's any more, and he still wanted the regular priced CD's for a sale price. I had decided right then I wasn't going to give this guy anything, and told him so. Unfortunately, he said the magic words "I want to speak to your boss".

This meant I had to cave into his demands, because our head office was on a "The Customer Is Always Right" campaign and I knew that not only would head office give in they'd probably reprimand me and my employee for not kissing his ass in the first place. I also knew he was the kind of douche who'd call head office to complain.

So, I bit my lip and gave in.

After he got his CD's he looked at me triumphantly and said "I always get what I want", and walked out.

Fortunately, he forgot his wallet.

I realized Karma had called, and I was to be it's instrument. I picked up the wallet and threw it in the garbage, much to the shock of my employee (I didn't look in the wallet or take anything out of it; that wouldn't have been Karmic).

He came running back about an hour later, asking if we saw his wallet. I said I hadn't, and asked the employee he had berated if she'd seen it. She said "No." with an admirable amount of sincerity.

He ran back out with a panic-stricken look on his face.

My employee turned to me and said, "He kept calling me a bitch. This is the best day at work I've ever had."

I couldn't help but agree with her, and we both enjoyed the rest of the work day.

Been working in the wireless industry for close to 7 years now. I have worked for most carriers but Verizon was awful. Not because it was Verizon I worked for a third party retailer that had these ridiculous setup fees and crazy return policies, once incident will always stick with me.

Some guy came in and wanted an iphone I explained "Mr customer make sure you select the one that best suits you since we can not perform a return on the apple iphone" this was right when the 4s was released and 4 was dropping in price. I explain the differences between the two. He says he wants the 4, I told him "are you sure, as mentioned I cannot return it" I always made sure each customer was aware of this because of the hell that could come from it. Guy is like " ooooh yeah I don't need siri or big storage,this will be fine" anyway I ring it all out and he was being cool the whole time and goes on his way.

Fast forward to the next day. This prick is waiting at my front door before we open. Keeps tapping on the glass, pointing to his watch,etc... Has at least half an hour til we open. Its also policy not to allow customers in the store before 10am. I was finally able to let him in, ask me to return his iphone 4 since it doesn't have siri, in my head I was like "oh my fuck. Not today please". Calmly explain we can not to do that since all sales are final. He asks me again I tell him a calm but firm "no" and pull out his receipt that I highlighted in front of him yesterday saying "all sales are final" he is starting to lose it at this point. Demands to speak to the manager. Explain to him that I am the manager and that I can not help him. He's becomes irrate, turning red and talking through his teeth. Tell him he needs to leave at this point or the police will be called. Guy told me to go fuck myself and that I was worthless scum and that fox 11 was gonna hear about my scam I got going on. I couldn't help but laugh at that, which only pissed him off he kept saying he's gonna be back to put a bullet in my head. Now I don't like being threatened so I called 911 while this guy was having a meltdow in the parking lot. Low an behold there's a cop getting lunch right next door and he heard the call go out. He comes rushing out and sees this pissed off dude just screaming in his car. He refuses to listen to the cop and locks his doors and starts his car. The officer wasn't having any of that shit and proceeded to bust his window out and mace and taze the dude before he could even put his car in drive, eventually he's calmed down but I guess when he was ripped out of his car by the officer his phone fell to the asphalt and shattered. The whole time I'm just loling from the store.

Came to find out this guy Has a history of freaking out on retail workers and carries a gun in his car to intimidate people and he didn't have a CCW since it was just chilling in his glove box. Gave the cop a car charger for his phone for being a cool dude and handling that on his lunch break.

This actually happened a couple of weeks ago. As context (for those who haven't read my posts before) - I work an out of hours IT desk, we support multiple businesses after hours when their IT teams leave for the day.

It's 11:30 pm and I get a call through from my least favourite business we support (we have no systems access and very little in the way of documentation, their calls are renowned for being a pain in the ass to deal with).

EA = Extremely affluent sounding British guy

Me: Service desk how can I help?

EA: Oh hello I'm not able to print

Me: Okay, any error messages? Any signs of life from the printer?

EA: Now hold on I'm not a computer person so you'll need to use simple terms

Me: What happens when you print?

EA: Nothing happens that's why I'm calling you!

Me: Do you see any messages appear on the screen when trying to print?

EA: No

I have a particularly low tolerance for these kinds of callers who are unable to provide even basic details. This guy was also coming across as very condescending

Me: Is your printer turned on? Can you see any lights?

EA: Of course!

Me: Can you walk me through what you generally do to print something?

EA: I'm not a computer person so you'll need to be more clear

Me: Tell me how you'd usually print

EA: Look here, I don't really understand what you're asking me

Me: What would you usually do to print?

EA: I don't understand you

Me: Ok sir, I'd like to connect remotely to your computer so I can see what's on the screen. Is that okay?

EA: This is all very complicated. I'm not sure what you want to do.

Me: I'd like to access your computer so I can see what's wrong

EA: I'm sorry, can you explain that more clearly?

Me: I'm not sure how much clearer I can actually be with this. I need to remotely connect to try and fix this for you

EA: Look this is terribly unfriendly for people who aren't technically savvy like myself. Why can't you fix this?

Me: I'm trying to help you and fix it but you haven't been able to provide a great amount of detail on the issue, so I'd like to remotely connect a take a look myself

EA: I'm not familiar with these technical terms. This is very hard. I don't understand why we have you people if you can't help people who aren't technically savvy

Me: I'm trying to help, however as it's out of hours our scope is limited. I need to remotely connect to see what's going on. I respect that you are not technically savvy but at the same time we do expect a certain level of existing knowledge from users in order to be able to provide our support service after hours. I can ask that the main service desk calls you back in the morning if you'd prefer?

EA: No look this is very important and I need this fixed, how do you get on my screen?

Me: Firstly, I need you to open a web browser or just go to Google

EA: I JUST USE THIS FOR EMAIL WHAT ON EARTH IS A WEB BROWSER?

Me: Do you use Google?

EA: Yes of course I do!

Me: Okay, please go to Google....

we spend a painful amount of time getting gotoassist working

Me: Thank you I'm now connected. I'm going to take a look at the printer setup now

Me: I see the printer is reporting "not connected". Can you check to make sure it's plugged in please?

I Google the model number and this is an old-ass Epson printer. USB only. At this point I've had enough of this callers ineptness

EA: But I don't know HOW!

Me: I'm sorry, I really can't help you with this part. You're the one physically located with the computer and the printer. Go to the printer and make sure any wires coming from it are plugged into the PC.

EA: OK.

Several minutes later I hear the unmistakable sound of a device being connected in Windows

Me: Okay, the printer is now showing as connected so it looks like the plug was disconnected. Please try printing again.

EA navigates to Outlook, opens an email about discounted camping products and proceeds to print it off

Me: I can hear the printer in the background so it looks like we're good now?

EA: Yes it's working but you didn't help me at all click

EA was such a PITA. He also left gotoassist running in the background - so I spent the next half an hour inconspicuously moving his mouse each time he tried to click something before I got bored and disconnected.

For those interested - this particular business we support have an "only call out of hours support if it's urgent" policy. Therefore EA's manager will be getting an email outlining what happened. Unable to print camping coupons because you forgot to plug your printer in is NOT proper use of the out of hours service.

I work at an inbound call center for Satellite TV. 90% of my calls are helping service technicians. The technicians have a different number to call then a usual customer, but sometimes the technicians give out the number for their Help Line instead of the usual customer service number.

For those of you who do not know, call center agents are based on metrics (AHT, call backs, transfers, etc). The AHT for my department is between 3-4 minutes. One day a customer came through on the technicians Help Line. The customer was having technical issues, and we are required to help the customer even if they come through on the wrong line. Anyway, this man was very grouchy, very hard to help, and very stubborn. I asked him to read me what his screen said, I'll refer to him as GM and myself as CS, here's how part of the conversation went:

CS: "Sir, can you please describe to me what's on your screen? Is there a 3 or 4 digit number in the upper right hand corner?"

GM: Fuck no. Are you asking me to work for you? You do not pay me to do your job. I am not reading you what's on my screen unless you write me a check for it."

CS: "Sir, I understand your frustration. However to get this fixed, it does require effort from both of us. I cannot help you if you do not let me."

GM: "Well fuck, I guess I'll read you what it says. It says 015."

CS: "Great, there's a start. How long has it been like this? And do you have a signal code in the middle of your screen?"

GM: "30 minutes, and yes, 11-11-11."

CS: "Okay, any bad weather in your area? Have you moved anything around? Unplugged anything?"

GM: "No. Are you trying to put the blame on me when it's your fucking company that is fucking up?"

CS: "Okay. Can you do me a favor?"

GM: "No, not this time. What the fuck else do you want from me? I read you what was on my screen, so fucking fix it!!!".

At this point, I went ahead and pulled up the available appointments on the computer, because he wasn't helping me, and I figured he'd eventually demand a technician to come to his house. There was an appointment available for that afternoon.

CS: "Sir, I am trying to fix it. But I need your help. I am not at your house to unplug this for you, I need your help."

GM: "No. I pay too much for this shit. Get me a technician out here."

CS: "Sir, you do not subscribe to the insurance plan for $8 a month. Without that, the technician cost is $95."

At this point, we went through a few more troubleshooting steps. And every time I asked him to do something it was literally as hard as taking candy from a 4 year old. Now it's a 30 minute long call, and I'm getting a little frustrated because it's hurting my AHT. If he hadn't have been so stubborn, we probably could've got this call over with in about 10-15 minutes. Towards the last few steps, the customer said he was doing what I told him to do, but I knew he wasn't doing it.

Finally, we completed the last few steps, and we did not get it fixed. At this time, I had to actually schedule a technician. This made him furious. He was cussing me out. He was going off for another 10 minutes about how I wasted his time, how we always screw him over, how we got nothing accomplished, etc.

It turned into a sup call, so I had to transfer it to my coach. My coach scheduled the technician appointment for him, but the appointment for later that evening had already been booked, as well as the next day. The next available appointment was 3 days later because we were closed on Thanksgiving. She ended up waiving the technician visit fee. If only he had been cooperative with me, he would've had someone at his house 3 hours after he and I got off of the phone.

Serves him right for treating customer service like shit when they try everything they can to help you. But in the end, I really wanted to kill the technician that gave him the technician Help Line number.

I used to be a phone fundraiser for a very prominent charity. With a job like that you get bitched out a lot all the time, so I have pretty thick skin, but I remember calling this one guy. I'll never forget his name in fact... But, anyways, he gave me this "Don't you even know who I AM?! Why don't you get A REAL JOB! You're just a fucking peon high school drop out! Don't you dare call here again blah blah BLAH BLAH I'M AN ASSHOLE BLAH BLAH BLAH."

So I gave all of his personal information to everyone and had everyone call him once a day pretending to be from different charities. I then gave his information to every charity I could find and signed him up for a bunch of crap.

No way to trace it back to me because he never bothered to even find out what charity I was calling from, didn't get my name, and the phone number I was calling from was untraceable.

Don't fuck with customer service people. We take a lot of shit. We're on edge. Have a little compassion or prepare to have the entire world of junk mail flooded into your mailbox, because I WILL make it happen.

Worked at a telecom in Canada (I am no longer an employee thank god)

Lady comes in with a broken iPhone is demanding to get a new one for free. If you don't know, in Canada the iPhone 6s is going for about $400 upfront on a two year contract at a minimum $80 plan. She had a good plan, but wanted it for free. She called up our loyalty team in store and spent the next two hours screaming at them. Finally, they agree to a deal, and she is getting it for zero. She looks at me and goes I do not want a case, and AppleCare is a scam. (We work on commission, so this essentially meant I was getting nothing and ruining my numbers). She keeps telling me to hurry up through the setup and I was trying to get them out of the store with everything transferred over and set up. She grabs the phone and starts marching off saying I was a terrible employee. She gets three steps out of the store and drops the phone. Shattered screen, and white screen of death. She ran back in asking what I can do. I shrug and went 'Sorry, but AppleCare sure would have helped eh?'

So I work for a home warranty company which is slightly different to home insurance. For anyone that know about home warranties they don't cover homes that are being used as a business or commercial property. I had a wonderful conversation with a customer from hell...

The customer filed a claim for their microwave. Technician went out and said it needed to be replaced but it was a denied claim. Why was the claim denied you may ask? The home was being used as a business. Customer tries to dispute this and asks for a second company to come out. The claim should have been denied a second time since the new technician said exactly the same thing as the first one. Instead it got sent to my department to replace the microwave.

I read through all the notes and wonder why we are covering the claim so I call our management line. They said the denial will stay since the first tech gave us the name of said business which I was able to look up online and it confirmed that it was indeed the property under the warranty and it was in fact being used as a business.

To make a long story short I had the pleasure of informing the customer not only will the claim be denied but that the account will be closed with no refund of the payment for the year. Customer was obviously upset and we argued for a bit before they asked for management. I transferred to a manager and explained the situation. Lucky for me the manager sat a couple rows away from me so I could hear every word he said.

The customer wanted the call pulled because they said I gave them wrong information and was very rude etc. Manager listens to the call and calls the customer back and says that he will be canceling all of their accounts with us with no refund due to the customer verbally abusing their staff (customer was a total ass to me and threatened to kick my a**) and told them if they have any disputes that they will have to write a formal letter to our legal department. It was a good day that day :)

(Sorry for the long read lol)

So, I recently discovered this subreddit and I used to work in a call centre for 4 years (we serviced every major bank in Canada and 100+ credit unions). I'm thinking about doing up a few of these, but i'll start off with one of my favourites. It's a bit of a long read, but it pays off.

A few years ago we did a two week pilot project for TD Canada Trust called "the iPod campaign". You switch 2 monthly payments (a mortgage payment, insurance, gym membership, etc) over to be debited from a newly opened TD account and the bank will give you a free iPod shuffle. For the campaign, I was part of a team of a dozen agents that dealt with these switches, and the only one on staff to handle complaints. We couldn't process any of these switches without an "authorization form" that the client signed when they opened their account. This stated they gave us permission to switch debits over on their behalf. Last day of the campaign, I get a few auth forms on my desk, they're blank, no customer signatures, no customer contact numbers, just the account numbers, and the teller/clients names. I call the branch rep twice (our policy), over two days with my last call stating "unfortunately if we don't receive the forms with the customer signatures by 8PM local time, we will be unable to process the request and the documents will be destroyed for security purposes".

Fast forward a week; the branch rep calls me back. "Hi my name is Jon with TD Canada Trust EasySwitch, how may I assist you today?" "Hello, is this the scam artist that can explain when my none of my client's are getting their iPods?". Bad opening, but I've had worse. I begin to explain that this particular form she was calling about was blank, the campaign was done, no iPod for the client. "Did you hear that?" she says. "We certainly did and frankly that's a crock of shit", responded the clients. She had two of them in a conference call. Wrong move bitch, wrong move.

ME: "Mr. and Ms. _______, my apologies for any inconvenience. As I'd explained to your branch rep in a voicemail last last week, she had sent us a blank authorization form. Without your signature's we didn't have the legal authority to contact any of your billers to process the switch. Had she provided us with your contact information, we could've informed you to go into the branch to sign the form, instead I'd left her two calls over a 48 hour period advising her of this. We could've even processed it the day after the campaign ended. By any chance, did she happen to notify you of any of this?"

HUSBAND: "She told us we could open the account over the phone and sign whenever we got the chance!"

ME: "I apologize, you were misinformed. Without the signatures we didn't have the legal authority to make these changes on your behalf. This is a feature in our service to prevent privacy (our term for identity) theft. As the switches haven't been made, you don't have any outgoing payments. I see that your old account with CIBC is still open, so between me and you, this promotion is set for national distribution in the summer.."

HUSBAND: "So we can close down the account, reopen it in the summer, and apply for the iPod then?"

ME: "I'm not allowed to advise you to close an account down, but technically you could. You may get a question or two from the branch manager about why you're closing down the account a week after opening it.."

WIFE: "Don't worry, we'll tell them.."

The branch rep interjected with "uhmm's" and "uhhh's" but it's pretty hard to shoot yourself in the foot when your foots already in your mouth. She lied to countless people thinking she could get a bunch of new clients, and have somebody else (IE: ME) deal with the mess. The next ingoing call I get is from the branch manager, offering to explain the situation to the clients on my behalf. Why? Because the branch rep is no longer employed. That evening I went home, my girlfriend asked me how my day went and I responded with "I got a bitch fired!".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSCBgaD1bJ4

EDIT: Turns out this is Taco Bell, not McDonald's. Thanks to /u/Morbid79 for the correction.

As some of you will already know, I work an out of hours service desk - we cover multiple businesses. Some of these business do not give us any access to their systems to perform actions for their users (such as password resets), instead just give us access to server monitoring/application monitoring tools so we can act on outages - in these cases callers receive a message saying to hang up unless they're calling to report a critical systems failure.

This gem originated from one of these businesses;

I'd like to preface this by saying that <caller> had a particularly bad attitude from the start of the call.

Me: IT emergency line

Caller: Oh yes, reset my password now please, my username is <username>

Me: Have you tried a self service reset?

Caller: NO! Why would I? I'm calling you so just reset my password!

Me: You've called an emergency line for reporting systems failure. I'm afraid we do not deal with password resets as per the voice prompt before the call. This is why I'm suggesting you use the self service system, because there's no alternative right now.

Caller: But I've called before and had my password reset!

Me: Yes, during business hours you can have your password reset. Out of hours, this is an IT emergency line only.

Caller: Are you refusing to reset my password?

Me: I literally have no way to reset your password

Caller: SO WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO EXACTLY?

Me: Use the self service system?

Caller: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

Me: Respectfully, in the time we've spent so far arguing about this, you could have already reset your password and gained access to your account. I'm sorry, but as I've already mentioned, this line is for reporting IT emergencies, this is not an emergency and as such I'm going to terminate the call. Do you need the address to the self service system before we end?

Caller: EXCUSE ME!

Me: Yes?

Caller: SO WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU HAVE A SYSTEM FAILURE?

Me: Depending on the nature of the failure it's escalated to one of several on call IT managers

Caller: EXCUSE ME! WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT TO RESET MY PASSWORD?

Me: Because resetting your password isn't an IT emergency and also, as I've already mentioned you can actually do this yourself via the self service system

Caller: EXCUSE ME! Don't you think I'm important enough?

Me: It's not a case of important or not - it simply isn't an IT emergency

Caller: HOW DARE YOU I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT WORK THAT I NEED TO DO URGENTLY. HOW DARE YOU PREVENT ME FROM WORKING AND NOT OFFER ME A SOLUTION!

Me: A solution has been provided, use the self service system at <url>. I'm now going to terminate this call

Caller: WAIT MY MANAGER WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS AND YOU WASTING ME TIME

Me: Sir your manager will be hearing about this regardless I can assure you of that and I'm sorry, but if anything you're wasting your own time as a perfectly reasonable solution has been offered, goodbye.

Caller: EXCUSE ME!

Me: click

For the record folks <callers> management received a lovely follow-up email regarding 'educating' <caller> on correct procedures around password resets and use of the emergency line.

I have no words for the stupidity of this caller. To preface this story, I work a help desk supporting multiple businesses out of hours. This particular business we do not have systems access to, so are unable to do any testing/confirm issues before contacting their on call - we basically have to believe what the caller is telling us.

Me: Service Desk?

Caller: <SYSTEM> is down!

Me: Okay, what's the error message please?

Caller: <SYSTEM> is telling me invalid username or password YOU NEED TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW!

Me: Oh okay, have you tried a password reset?

Caller: NO I didn't my password is fine!

Me: Can you please try and rule out your password as I'll need to rule out that being the issue here?

Caller: NO! Anyway it's happening to EVERYONE RIGHT NOW DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

Me: No. Can you please confirm how many people are affected?

Caller: All of us

Me: Can you please give me an idea of the number of people this is impacting?

Caller: ALL OF US!

Me: Which is what please? 5, 10, 20, etc....

Caller: I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS. 10. 10 PEOPLE!

Me: Can I just double check that there's 10 of you experiencing exactly the same issue here? are you all working late or something as it's currently 9 pm and there's not usually that many staff around at this time....

Caller: Yes just get it working you're wasting my time!

Me: Sure thing, as it's after 5 pm however you've reached the out of hours desk. I'm going to start our escalation procedure now and contact the on call.

Caller: WHICH MEANS WHAT?

Me: This means I'll contact the person on call who will start investigating the problem for you.

Caller: SO YOU CAN'T FIX THIS? ARE YOU IT OR NOT!

Me: Yes, this is IT, however it's currently out of hours, hence why I have to call the person on call who can take this further.

Caller: JUST HURRY UP!

Me: Sure. Please give me your username and a contact number to get this logged?

Caller: WHY YOU DON'T NEED ANY OF THAT?

Me: I'm sorry, however you're being very unprofessional here. If you'd like me to call the on call team I'll need some details to provide them - bearing in mind they're most likely at home at this time and will be less than impressed if we're unable to provide them with the relevant information - including the person who reported the system as being down

Caller: FINE. IT'S <USERNAME> and I'm on <telephone number> click

Wow, okay. Anger management issues! Anyway, I give our on call guy a call...

Me: Hi <on call tech> it's TheDroolinFool here, just calling to report a possible system outage.

OCT: What system The DroolinFool?

Me: <SYSTEM>

OCT: Okay, one moment.

OCT: <SYSTEM> is working fine - servers up, no issues on our dashboard - I can login fine. Who's reporting this?

Me: Well <username> is and apparently she is reporting 10 people with the same issue

OCT: Let me take a look. I see <username> has 6 bad password attempts, did you suggest a reset?

Me: Yup, she refused outright. Claims there's multiple people impacted

OCT: Well that's strange, only <username> has attempted to login within the last hour. Who the hell is trying to use <SYSTEM> at this time anyway! Do you have a contact number for <username>?

Me: Sure, it's <telephone number>

OCT: Leave it with me. Have a good shift! click

Few days later I needed to call <OCT> for something unrelated and decided to ask what happened

Me: By the way OCT, whatever happened to <username> reporting <SYSTEM> down a few days ago?

OCT: I called her and told her that her password was bad. She ran her mouth and I terminated the call. Turns out she was on her own and fabricated the whole 10 other people story. No idea why she lied about something like this, but HR have taken it pretty seriously - all I know is she has a disciplinary meeting scheduled.

Me: Well, couldn't happen to a more charming person!

OCT: Agreed

Not sure what the outcome of <callers> disciplinary was but I'm really hoping she was put in her place.

As some of you may know, I work an out of hours service desk supporting multiple businesses. This particular business is an educational institute and this particular discussion took place between myself and a student;

Me: Service Desk

Caller: I CAN'T PRINT!

Me: Okay, what actually happens?

Caller: I JUST TOLD YOU! I CAN'T PRINT...

note - callers tone is very rude and I've reached my BS tolerance by this stage

Me: Yes we've established you can't print- what actually happens? what errors are received? What does the printer do?

Caller: It tells me to top up my print credit as I have a negative balance of -$49

Me:...

Caller: HELLO!

Me: I'm sorry, I don't see the issue here. You'll need to clear the $49 outstanding balance before you can print

Caller: But I don't owe you any money!

Me: Okay, are you saying this balance has been added to your account in error?

Caller: No

Me: Can you please explain what you mean?

Caller: I was photocopying loads of personal pictures yesterday and since then I have this balance. But I don't think I owe this as I didn't get any warnings when photocopying

Me:... But you're aware there's a charge for photocopying?

Caller: YES OF COURSE I AM!

Me: Okay, so I don't see why you're disputing the balance? You used a photocopier for a large job and as a result of this have a negative balance which will need to be cleared - regardless of "warnings" or not, you still used a service at the end of the day and need to pay for what you've used - you've just admitted you knew about the charge before using the service.

Caller: I JUST NEED TO PRINT NOW!

Me: Okay, you'll need to clear the balance on the account first by topping up

Caller: BUT THIS IS URGENT!

Me: It's 11 pm - I'm not sure what you're asking me to do. If you want to print you'll need to clear this balance by topping up your credit

Caller: BUT I DON'T OWE YOU ANY MONEY!

Me: You said you used the photocopiers?

Caller: YES

Me: Presumably you have the documents you photocopied?

Caller: YES

Me: So you have photocopied documents that you haven't paid for. The photocopiers should not be used for personal use either. What is it that you need to "urgently" print right now?

Caller: I want to print a banner for a party

Me: So, again you're using the printing facilities for personal reasons - in clear breach of the policy you agreed to. You've also called an IT emergency line and claimed this was "urgent".

Caller: WELL I DIDN'T GET ANY WARNINGS!

Me: Thanks for calling. I'll report this to your school office for further investigation but I'm unable to deal with this on the emergency line. Goodbye click

I just found out that the student has been reprimanded for abusing the emergency line and using the printing facilities for personal use. Win!

Background: I do out of hours service desk support for a number of different businesses. We cover general IT enquires and sometimes password resets. We usually do not have a lot of access to the businesses systems.

Me: Hi you're speaking t---

Ass: My username is 8742187488932, enable my account now

Me: Can you repeat that slowly please?

Ass: 8742187488932 enable now.

Me: Sir, if your account is disabled I won't have access to it. You'll need to speak to your service desk directly during business hours.

Ass: I'm telling you to enable my account

Me: As I've said, if your account is disabled it won't show up on our systems out of hours. It's not a case of I don't want to enable it, I literally can not enable it.

Ass: I understand you're saying it won't show up, however you now have half an hour to enable it or I'll be speaking to management (sidenote: WTF?)

Me: Sir, you're absolutely free to speak to management - however I won't be enabling your account as I literally can't

Ass: My contact number is 942818421 - you have half an hour click

I log a ticket and make sure I make a note of how demanding this guy is. He calls back half an hour later and speaks to another agent - goes through the same BS and this time starts abusing the agent who terminates the call.

Turns out Mr. Ass then made a complaint with management.

Hilariously while our calls aren't recoded, Mr. Ass had recorded the 2nd call he made - including him abusing the agent - which he had conveniently forgotten about when he emailed the recording and his complaint to his management.

Mr. Ass's manager emailed to apologise on behalf of Mr. Ass and let us know that "action on Mr. Ass's conduct has been taken"

Sweet Karma justice!