You meet older women in the same places you meet women your own age. Possibly keep in mind she may not be in seen in crowded frat bars, or found in large numbers at noisy nightclubs. After writing this list it really is apparent that you can meet older people in almost any place you can think of where people of any age socialise.

I know many of the ladies myself included do not like to be associated with the stereotypical idea of a cougar hunting her prey or the idea of the younger men being cubs but its not really about where you meet its how you approach, how you behave, how you connect and basically being "better prey".... that's a joke please don't come at me!

Here is a collection of posts and articles from r/CougarsAndCubs on how and where people have found older women/younger men

How Did You Meet Your First Cougar

How Did You Meet Your Cougar/Cub

How to Meet a Younger Guy

How Did You Meet Your Cub/Cougar Stories

Is Tinder Helpful to Meet Cougars/Cubs

The Best Cougar Dating Sites besides Tinder and

You Cubs Really Want Some Advice to Meet Cougars

What is the Best Place to Meet Cougars

Where to Meet Older Women In Real Life

Book Club/Book Shops/Libraries
Yoga Classes/Pilates/Gyms
Wine Bars/Restaurants/Bistros/Cafes
Live Music Venues/Nightclubs and Dances Events that play 70-80s music
Groceries Stores/Craft Stores/Gift Shops/Pet Stores
Salsa or other dance classes
Hobby/Interests basically whatever your passion is join a local event around that interest
Community college classes eg photography, art, creative writing or massage classes
Cruises and organised day trips
Volunteer work eg animal shelters, community projects (volunteering is a great way to meet people and network whilst helping others)
Local markets and events
Sporting events/matches
Public thoroughfares and meeting points where people in your community gather to eat, meet and people watch
Museums and Art Galleries
Church or Temple (apparently)
The local Dog Park
Comedy Clubs

Where to Meet Older Women/Younger Men online

In my opinion they are all the same you just have to work extra hard to find us. If you haven't already read Dating Apps, Profiles and Tips for the Guys please go and read it for more Dating App advice.

Tinder
Bumble
OKCupid
Hinge
Match
Adult Friend Finder
Badoo
Facebook Dating
Coffee Meets Bagel
Pickable
Zoosk
Meet.me
Meetup.com (not particularly a dating site but a way to connect to like minded people for get togethers and outings)
POF (limits your age ranges)

I'm not a fan of paying for apps and there's probably a hundred others to try. I usually download a bunch try for a few days and see what they are like. It just depends on what location you are in and depends on its popularity with people in your area.

WHERE DID YOU MEET THE OLDER WOMEN/YOUNGER MEN IN YOUR LIFE OR FROM THE PAST AND PLEASE ADD FAVOURITE APPS FOR MEETING OLDER WOMEN/YOUNGER ME IN YOUR EXPERIENCE.

72 Comments

2021/03/08
03:20 UTC

118

General Advice For Younger Men

Advice for younger men on approaching and connecting with women online and general advice about Older women.

A collection of posts from r/Cougars_Den and r/cougarsandcubs. More will be added as I find relavant posts in our communities.

Cubs please consider this

What cougars want you to know

What cougars want you to know part:2

Advice from our ladies

Tips for cubs

Tips for cubs that I found useful

Seven Excellent Tips for Cubs

The Difference Between FWB and F*ck Buddies

Don't Just Say Hey

Tips for a Healthy Relationship with A Cougar

For Cubs Who Want to use Reddit as a Dating App

What is Considered a Red Flag to Our Ladies

24 Comments

2021/03/06
01:31 UTC

106

WELCOME TO R/COUGAR_LOVE! ♥️

Welcome to my subreddit! This sub is aimed at those newish to age gap relationships between older women and younger men.

Things you should know about the sub:

Please read the rules before commenting in the sub.

This is not a porn sub so please understand that vulgarity or sexually explicit comments will not be tolerated (bans may apply).

This is not a seeking sub. If you want to place a dating ad go over to r/cougarsandcubsmatch (The Match), you will need a combined post and comment karma of 25 to submit an ad or 10 comment karma to participate elsewhere. Read the posting guidelines here before posting. The Match has strict post and content guidelines. If you don't read the rules/guidelines/wiki your post will likely be auto-removed by our moderation bot.

Other places to seek:

r/Cougars_Den has a Sunday Hunt and r/cougarsandcubsmatch now has the Thursday Roll Call post where you can drop your ASL (age, sex, location) and a brief description. r/cougarandcubs is now a strictly discussion only sub.

Only r/Cougar_Love Moderators are able to post in the sub. However everyone is encouraged to contribute comments, ask questions and share their experiences.

No Links or photos are allowed to be posted in the sub apart from in future dating profile posts.

If you would like to suggest topics for discussion there is a sticky thread at the top of the sub where you can submit suggestions and ideas.

0 Comments

2021/03/03
08:05 UTC

135

Dating Apps, Profiles and Tips For the Guys

I thought I might write a post on my experiences with dating apps. And ask you for your input too. Every single younger guy that I have ever dated, had relationships with or eventually married, I met on an app.

I am not saying Dating Apps work for everyone but I see heaps of people saying that apps are useless and don't work. But if they worked for me they may just work for you and maybe you've just been going about it the wrong way.

Did I go looking for younger men on apps? No, they found me. That means although there might be very few "actual cougars" on apps. There is a chance you could make a connection with someone and both be pleasantly surprised.

Not going to lie, dating apps are harder for guys, that’s a given. There usually seems to be many more younger men and less older women on dating apps in general. It also depends on the country/culture and area you live and the membership pool of the app.

If you live in a big city or densely populated area your chances will be greater. If you live in a rural area or a small town where people may tend to gossip you may not have the best luck at all online. In cultures where dating is more difficult or traditional you may have even more difficulties finding someone nearby on a dating app. In these cases you might keep a profile open but try approaching women in the wild.

What's the Best App

Seriously they are all the same. Tinder, Hinge, Okcupid, Bumble, RSVP, Match, Zoosk and countless others. You name it they are literally all the same they just differ in the way they operate and the size of the membership pool. I have to admit that I haven’t seriously used any app in the last 8 years but I am willing to bet there is not much change in the way things work aside from most apps now being swipe focussed which is a pet hate of mine.

Be aware that on cougar specific apps, certain fetish and kink type apps that there is an increased bot and scammer presence. But all apps have scammers, bots and catfish. I tried a cougar specific app very briefly and found it to be full of fake accounts. Also stay away from anything Sugar related save yourself the waste of time and possibly money, it’s all a scam.

Brief note: please do not give financial or banking details to anyone online you don’t know. Never buy gift cards or similar for the same reason. You might be surprised how skilful some of the scammers can be.

Paying for memberships in my experience never brought any better matches. I have seen people say that it has worked for them because ostensibly the idea is that people who are serious about finding something will pay for it. Well that may be true for some people but as a woman I can only tell you my experience is that it didn't make any difference to me. I still got dick pics and time wasters who had paid memberships. Save yourself that money and just work a bit harder.

Your Photos

Everyone knows that the photos are what everyone wants to see:

A couple of good quality, CLEAR, close up photos of your face is a must
Photos that shows your personality, your passions or interests (dog lovers, candid shots)
Ditch the sunglasses I want to see your eyes, ditch the blurry group shots, the mirror selfies
A shirtless pic is fine if it’s in the gym and not gratuitous
Don’t upload pics with your ex scribbled out, with a bunch of random people, mulitple photos that do not contain pictures of you.

Your Profile

Write a profile that contains:

What you are looking for:
Whether it’s a short term casual dating, the possibility of a committed relationship, non monogamy or a FWB (If this is your preference really think about the friend aspect in this equation, its important) being honest in your approach is paramount.
Whatever you are wanting from a match it has to be the truth. Don’t be pretending to look for a FWB if you’re only interested in hook-ups. As long as it’s said in a gentlemanly manner it will be fine.
If you feel awkward about stating what you are looking for in a direct manner you can try describing your intensions. For example instead of saying FWB, you could say you are “looking for an ongoing casual dating partner who is fun and not too serious” or instead of saying you want a long term partner you could say “I’m looking to build a meaningful relationship with someone who isn’t afraid of an age gap”.
Descriptive terms can be much more meaningful for you specifically, than standard dating terms such as boyfriend/girlfriend or long term relationship. You might think that you are turning away potential matches by stating something you want which you may perceive as not being popular. But for those that it turns away there will be the ones that appreciate your honesty and confidence to state it.
Make a statement about not having an issue with the age gap or mention that you have dated older and prefer that dynamic. This helps us know you are not just randomly matching anything in a skirt and that you are aware of the age difference.
Your hobbies, interests, passions and anything that you feel is unique to you and what you have to offer. It goes without saying you all have a penis no need to state it.
You could state a few deal breakers but don’t be too negative. Stating you prefer non smokers or you would prefer someone who isn’t hung up your height or whatever is perfectly ok but keep it polite and not too aggressive.
I’m mentioning this last but cannot state how important this is to many of us. A sense of humour goes a long way and can make a serious list of info about you seem fun and light hearted. However if humour is not your forte you could try adding a few fun or silly facts about yourself instead.
NEVER leave your profile blank. You will never find quality people by appearing shady. Blank profiles in my experience have either been married men or people with very low self confidence or time wasters.
Above all make sure your profile comes across as respectful.

The Way You Use Dating Apps and Your Behaviour

I’ve heard countless people, men and women say they never find anyone on dating apps. Sometimes my impression is they download an app, briefly fill out the required details with the bare minimum, throw up a few selfies with little thought, swipe right on every single profile with the expectation that this is all they need to do. They may get a few matches which usually fizzle out within a week or two and after a few similar sessions they give up. You’re doing it wrong.

Think about when most people would be online. Think of Friday evenings without that date others may be in the same boat, Sunday afternoon and evening when people might be planning what they are doing next weekend. There’s no use trying to find someone at 2am in the morning when you’re in the mood. Try different days and times to see what works in your area.

My strategy was to be online all the time as much as I could without it interfering in my day to day life. I always had the app notifications on always logged in when I was free and basically treated it like a job. I would read and search profiles and like pictures if that was an option in the app I used. Above all give it time. It really is up to you how long you spend trying, I know it can be disheartening if you don’t find anyone in a reasonable length of time but nothing worthwhile is achieved without effort.

I always cultivated alot of friendships with people I was attracted to even if I was not sure if I wanted to cross the line of friendship. As long as they were respectful I gave them a chance to get to know me.

It should go without saying, never send unsolicited dick pics. I don’t know why this is a thing. If you want to form an ongoing relationship of any kind she will see it eventually. You don’t need to throw it in her face.

No need to get sexual especially in the first few days/weeks, flirting, sure if she seems receptive. Humour as in the profile goes a long way to make people feel at ease or break the ice. Witty banter can also be attractive if it’s not overly aggressive or sexual.

Always be respectful, thank people for accepting your request even if they end up not what you are looking for. Be respectful of their choice not to continue communicating with you.

At the end of the day if these tips don’t work for you I would suggest either trying unconventional places online to find someone interesting or try real life.

A Note on Age

Many apps will allow you to adjust the ages of women you are seeking to a higher range but never lie about your own age to get a woman to accept your match/contact. Lies put seeds of doubts into our minds. Noone likes a liar.

Unconventional Places

Think of here in Reddit, Facebook Groups, Online Forums and Gaming Communities for your various interests. It might not be that surprising that you may come across many interesting people while you are engaged with one of your own hobbies and passions. What better place to strike up a friendship.

I’ve personally known many people who have met through vegetarian forums, online gaming, Facebook groups and penpal type sites.

Just remember don’t be creepy about it... just be friendly until you get to know the person and if they are even single or interested. I would not recommend doing this on social media, others probably have tried it but I personally feel it’s a little creepy and a somewhat of an invasion. Too many scammers use this method to find targets so people will possibly ignore you or shoot you down fairly quickly.

Please add any tips you might have that have helped you connect with people!

39 Comments

2021/03/02
22:39 UTC