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sometimes i just think of all the times me and my gf had and she broke up with me in august im really tired of thinking of her she made me so happy and now shes gone i just want her back she made me smile without doing anything her smile was amazing and she was so beautiful i wish i had another chance with her but she left and now im having suicidal thoughts
So the story goes...
After many years of being single and trying to find (what i believe) is the right bf for me. Has finally found myself a boyfriend who is pretty much perfect. BUT he's too perfect that it makes me just want it to end! I don't know why i want it to end.
I've dated many many other guys and they each had their flaws or toxic behavior to the point it made me feel sick. Now that i found someone and the relationship is lasting longer than any I've ever had (going on 2 years). It's amazing, yet i just want us to break up. We met each others parents, we met each others friend groups, we all get along well.
Reason why I don't want to break up is because i feel that i don't have a valid reason to do it when things are going well. Ideally in this situation I'd rather have him break up with me...even though i know he wont...AND if i am the one to break us up a lot of my friends will hate me and go against me for doing that because they also can see that the relationship is going well from their point of view...
Why am i like this??
I keep thinking that due to my past terrible attempts at being in a relationship, it in the end, made me emotionally broken than i thought? Does that make sense? Idk i feel a bit all over the place every time i feel this way...i hate myself...
My dad had some people from work over the house for drinks, and some people used the pool. there was a lot of drinking. I was supposed to be sleeping but I was in my room smoking weed and playing on my computer. anyhow, after things got quiet I made my way downstairs and and my dad was on the couch with one of his co workers, I am pretty sure it was his secretary. she was a very sexy woman about 25 years younger than my dad. she was wearing a short black dress and black pantyhose. she was on her knees sucking my dad off as he sat on the couch. I was surprised at how fucking big his dick was. he told her to get doggy style and she bent over the couch and he fucked her from behind. I think he was ass fucking her because she was making noise like i never heard before. he came in her and she got up and went to the bathroom. she left a short time later and my dad went to bed. the next morning I found her black panties and pantyhose on the couch. I took them to my room and smelled them while I stroked off and came all over the pantyhose. yeah i know it was creepy but I was a horny virgin teen and she was sexy and seeing her turned me on so I jerked my cock. no big deal!
A few days ago I started a job at a home and the owners wife is 28 and smoking hot, well she left me alone in the house and I went through her panty drawer. It had so many thongs I decided to take 7 of them home with me to jerk off with. she even had a few toys in her drawer. I will return a few thongs when I go back after the holidays. They will be saturated with my dry cum. I also ordered her a stainless steel butt plug which I will put in the back of her drawer for her to find some day and hope she will use it
Years ago I had to spend a year in prison. Nothing really serious just got in with the wrong crowd, anyhow, I worked in a area that had a bathroom for the inmates.I would usually try to shit in there because there was more privacy. I think I did not shit for around 15 days and when I finally did It was in that bathroom. no one was around. I go in and sit on the shitter and did my business and got up and looked in the bowl and started to laugh. I swear this turd was a fucking monster! It was as far into the water as I could see and the other end was hitting the rim of the toilet. It had to be at least 18 inches long. and very thick. this was a picture perfect turd. I wiped my ass and to my surprise the paper was clean! perfect. I could not flush t I wanted this to be seen by others. about a hour later I hear people laughing and there was one of the staff members standing at the door telling people there was something they needed to see inside the bathroom. he was like a fucking tour guide! they never figured out that I was the one . I just wonder if they needed to cut it up with a chainsaw before flushing
I was physical mentally and spiritually abusive to my wife. I was very controlling. I was a dick. She has endured it because she love me. I was recently in a wreck that left me paralyzed. Shes been going out and even fucked someone in the bathroom of a bar. She also has had multiple sexting relationships. I am deeply sorry tht i abused her. The tables have turned. She doesnt love me she cant even stand being in the same room as me. I stopped and thought of reasons why she did.this. Everything I did to her and she still kept loving me. Now its over
A few years ago I work for TSA at The airport in Nashville. my Job was to run baggage through the scanner.one day I noticed a girl in her early 20s waiting in the line. she was a beautiful woman and she had on a pair of grey leggings that really showed off her perfect body. I could not take my eyes off of her perfect ass and sexy little thong line. the scanner picked up something strange and my coworker told her he needed to check her bag. she said ok and then bent over to but her shoes back on. this was at the same time he was looking in her bag. he took out a few items and set them on the table. I noticed a blue thong and somehow i managed to snatch it really quick and put it in my pocket. everything checked out ok and she made her way through the rest of check in. had she reported her missing thong im sure they would have checked the cameras. lucky for me i never heard a word about it. I must have masturbated into that thong at least 100 times
So, I live in India, and It was my 18th birthday, and I thought to make it most memorable moments of my life, what's better than losing virginity on the birthday!
So, there is a web site name 'locanto', where I find number of dealers! I called and paid him advance he sent me pictures of her and her contact number, I talked to her, she was very friendly and talks like a girlfriend, friend anything you wanna call her!
We met at her place, I reached there around 10 PM, knocked the door she opened the door, she was wearing yoga pants, with sports bra! That maybe her night dress because I told her to be casual! I won't lie her ass is completely in shape, am a big ass lover and what's more better than this her main feature of the body is her ass! She hold my hand and taking me to her room and my eyes are stuck on her ass and her face which I'm seeing frequently while taking me to room and she know I loved her ass and she said,"Tension na le, aj sari raat k liye teri hi hai' (Don't take tension, for tonight this ass is all yours).
She gave me a chair asked me to sit, and she sat on my lap moving her ass, in short she gave me great lap dance for almost 15 mins, and I was rock hard!
I pushed her on the bed and made her naked, then she took the control and made me naked! Then for more than 1 hour, we were naked in her house and we were talking because I wanna loose my virginity at 12AM (becoz my birthday), while talking to her I got to know, she and my father's sister(my bua) are friends from childhood! We laugh a lil like, she is also my bua!
Then it's 11:50, she hold me a gave me tight kiss yeah, and that was complete shock because I forgot about time and for 7-8 minutes she making up the heat and she was dominanting, then she asked where you wanna loose the virginity pussy or ass! She told she is not available for anal even that deal told me this, but she said, you are my bestfriend's relative and a good human is ready for it! That's her first anal with a customer (she has done it in his personal life obviously).
She was in doggy position and at right 12am I put in her asshole and fucked her, then pussy! Then I was dominating! I cummed and lay on her hugging! After some time she took me ice cream and I told her that I wanna sleep and wanna cuddle her all night naked! She agreed, and told me,I can fuck her at any point of night unlimited times I want! I fucked her 5-6 times I guess that night or maybe more! 😂 For last 3-4 fucks It was just 15-20 seconds each! I wake up at 9:30 AM, she was in the kitchen, I went in from behind and spanked her ass so many times, and her scream makes more satisfying! She was the time and told me that I have time we can shower together! Then we shower and fucked her in the shower I lasts hardly for a minute, we kissed a lot, she blow me gave me lap dance in shower and we go out that 10:30AM, yeah 20 mins extra I got!
I paid her money after that, and gave her 3000rs extra! And I gave her a last kiss with grabbing her ass and left from there
Fun fact:- we met her many times after that in family functions hosted by my bua! We talk more and kisses more, After that she started giving more discounts and I become her regular customer!
Sorry if there are grammar mistakes
When I was a young teenager, maybe 13 or 14, I was obviously coming into my own sexually. That is a normal thing for everyone to do. For me, however, it did feel like a bit of a different story. I (M) figured out at the age of 13 that I was bisexual and that dudes turned me on. There wasn't really anyone at school or anything who turned me on in particular, but I certainly felt like men did the same for me that women did. Around this time, my explorations into internet pornography started to take off too; I remember being into flash porn games a lot, but that's a different story. I discovered sexual RP somehow and I just got hooked. I'd RP on this website often and eventually found my way over to Omegle. Omegle was brilliant for someone like me. No strings attached RP any time I wanted with anyone in the world, I could just abandon the RP as soon as I'd finished. It was great! I couldn't tell you when exactly, but someone along the way showed me the app KIK. KIK was even better, because it was a social media that none of my friends had that allowed me to continue my RP experience if I wanted to somewhere out of the way where my worlds wouldn't collide. It was awesome. Fast forward a few months and I one day decide to try out simply the tag of "gay" on Omegle. After all, I found men attractive and maybe I could meet some nice guys. And oh boy, what a can of worms I opened. I'd wager a good half of the website at the time was gay guys looking for some fun. It was awesome, I NEVER struggled to meet anybody at all there. But this is where things take the turn into real confession territory. For a bit of context, I would say I considered myself a bit of a loner type. I found it hard to pretend to be interested in the same things kids at school were and I had just a few good friends to rely on. I definitely think I felt the need to be wanted and felt good when someone was interested in me. One day, on Omegle, I managed to meet someone who was older than me. Like, considerably older. iirc about 30 ~? Point is, this guy should not have been talking to teenagers on the gay tag on Omegle. We got to talking, he turns out to be really cool and into a lot of the same things I am, and this leads to him asking for my Skype. So I gave him it. I truthfully didn't mind giving my Skype out to this guy, he was nice and I liked talking to him. We get into messaging on there and the conversation begins to turn a little bit sexual. He starts asking if I masturbate, to which I say yeah, and he asks if I enjoy it. Not going to lie, I was so into this; I liked feeling aroused and like I said I liked when people took interest in me. Somehow this gets on to him asking if I'd ever put things up my ass before. And I told him the truth that I had. He really liked this, and I loved that he liked it. He gets bold and asks if I'd ever cam for him. And I agreed to. I tell him I need a few minutes to get prepared and then I'd call. Few mins go by, and he calls me. It was...nice? I don't have any negative thoughts of it at all. Not to drive this point home too much, but I did like feeling wanted. This happened a few more times with this guy before he blocked me. I still don't know why. But I ended up getting a taste for this sort of thing. I went on to find loads more people who were interested in guys my age. I ended up having a great big list of people I would call when they messaged. Got to the point where I would "go to the bathroom" at dinner just to call these people and do whatever they wanted me to do. Never lasted long, I assume because of how erotic they found it. One thing I remember pretty vividly is one of the people I would call asking me to cum onto whatever I fucked myself with and putting it back up my ass. I was really into being told to do dirty depraved shit like this frankly. Another guy liked my toe nails painted. Didn't have any paint so I sharpie'd them black for him. I liked this a lot too, it felt good to play around with my feelings of what defined my gender. I had a rubber toy axe that I cut the head off and used the smooth handle to fuck myself with for my contacts. I'd prop my phone against the bed frame, ring them on Skype, and be ready to go, full dick and balls in view too. A few guys were into me eating my own cum, which I found kinda gross but I liked to please. Lots and lots liked how my ass looked. I have always had a nice ass so I was happy to show that off. This went on literally until I found my first partner. They're awesome, still with them, and they don't know I ever did this. If they think I am sexually charged now, they wouldn't believe how bad I used to be. Thanks for listening.
I reached up through the crack in the bus seat to do this. I did it a few times. I could only get a finger to butt touch. I tried to do it lightly so they wouldn't notice. They never called me out. One wore her booksack so that I couldn't do it again.
Years later I learned about consent and about how devastating rape and sexual assault can be to women. I had no idea. Before that I'd only heard that sex was wrong from the church, and thought sexual crimes were wrong because it was sex outside of marriage which God didn't like. And its kind of like you're forcing them to sin as well? I was a very sexually repressed, ashamed of sexual feelings and horny teen. I really had no idea I could be hurting someone so badly or I wouldn't have done it. I thought at most it would be annoying.
After learning this I thought back and now I feel so guilty. This is the first time I've ever confessed this. I've never done anything like that as an adult. I left that toxic religion and I'm a feminist now.
This was also crossposted on r/confession, but they deleted it. I'm not sure why. Maybe they aren't taking this issue seriously and thought I was a troll?
Just tring to understand this is a good spot for me . I looked and couldn't find a description
My friend had a birthday party for his 2 year old a few days ago. Tables were set up in the yard and they had a bounce house for the kids to play in. all the other moms at this party were hot! every one of them! one in particular got me hard as a rock. she had on a blue sun dress and was just a stunning young woman. I snapped a few pics and headed to the bathroom and jerked to the pics and shot a load of cock snot into the toilet
TW// mention of what could be mental abuse, maybe.
I was (14F) at the time and he was (15M). Lets call him, Jack. We met on Kik.
Your personality was what made me attract towards you. You were shy and didn't talk much. Your hobbies included designs (memory isn't that vivid) and our conversation only survived upon the show 13 reasons why. Even though, I never watched the show yet I pretended to know about it so you and I could talk. I was interested in you. And you were very handsome for me. You lived in south America at the time and had a best friend (hes pretty dirty minded.) You cared about your education, had good grades, treated everyone nicely and was very mature for his age. You were Spanish. And had a strict household. You loved playing video games.
After a week of knowing you, You asked me to become your girlfriend. It was in a hilarious way (through text) obviously because I was in the other side of the world but I said yes. And we fell in love. Under 2 weeks, we swapped each others numbers, you taught me Spanish, a few words, we made each other laugh and cry. Had really serious conversations about our future.
What about me? I was a lying 14 year old female who was so insecure of herself and of who she was, that she lied to you about her name, her family history mostly because I was dumb. I had the desire to find love but I didn't had the sense to be myself. I was insecure. I didnt like my name, so I changed it. My family at that moment became dysfunctional and I turned my wish into a lie, saying that my family was in much worse state. I didnt change my face. It was my real face. I just changed my name and family history. Still bad though and this grave mistake is what eating me alive to this day. I didn't do this intentionally. I didnt mean to lie like that. I was embarrassed to have such dysfunctional family at that time comparing to yours, and trust me, things have become much worse in my family.
I didn't mean to lie. I was just insecure of myself. Of who I was. I hated my name, I hated myself. I hated my own personality. I basically fell in love with you because I had a strong desire to find a boyfriend just because I was lonely. I didn't use you which is why I was the one who broke up with you. Our one month gap due to you being grounded also made me move on from us, because at the time, i didnt knew what had happened. You had zero contact with me. I reached out to you on Twitch as well, (the app on which you used to play games in and I would watch. The happiest time of my life though)
I think the reason I lied was because I was still a child mentally. I hated myself mostly because I grew up watching my parents criticize me, especially my mother, about my weight, my looks, my personality, my taste. I watched my father cursing my mother right in front me, saw him raising his hand on her from the age of 9 ig. He did abuse her but always in the room. I watched the way my father treated his wife and usually blaming his whole family for every mistake he made. He made me feel useless just from a young age to the point I wanted to end my life. So, I became insecure like that. So i lied. Also because I feared that you would leave me if you ever knew about my family history like my father threatened to so many times. He still does.
Simply because I was dumb insecure 14 year old girl who still has a dysfunctional family to this day, I lied to you. I couldn't deal my loneliness or my in securities by myself. I couldn't even consider myself beautiful due to horrible remarks from my mother. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel protected. I wanted love. And my God Jack, I miss you so much.
I am still paying for my sins, the fact that I lied to you and couldn't Even communicate with you about my true self, because I let my insecurities get to me, Because I became so weak, I am still paying this horrible price.
Thats why I had to break up. Thats why I had to let you go. Simply telling you about the truth wouldve made you run away from me and honestly, you were the only gentleman boyfriend I could ever find. You gave me love and affection I still yearn for this day from someone. You ruled my mind for 2 years even after our break up. Thats where I knew, you were my first love and you always will be. Thats where I knew, my first regret, to break up with you and that I never got to tell you the truth. If I couldve just done that, I still wouldve been happy with you.
Now that I am Turning 19 soon, I realized that moving on from my past had to do something with making peace with it too. I hope whenever and wherever you read this, You are safe and sound and found the best girlfriend to treat you right.
This is to my first love, you will always be my first love. And Im sorry for putting us through everything.
i find it hard to cope. now that everything’s online, i realized that almost all of my friendships are not genuine, and so i am left all alone. i have a few friends, but sometimes i feel like they do not listen to me. i feel unseen. here at home, i do not feel safe. i keep following the same routine: i wake up, i eat breakfast, i go on with my caffeinated day, then i sleep. it’s always the same. but i don’t have anyone to talk to here, so imagine how lonely i am. i also find it hard to talk to the friends i used to hang out with before the pandemic, because they know me as hyper but i am now just a sad, empty being incapable of keeping a conversation. and so my work life has been affected drastically. i keep taking the easier way to do things. it’s like i’m cheating the world. i am no longer putting in effort, because it takes too much of my energy to just sit down all day. almost one year in, i’m still doing the same thing. i haven’t progressed at all. i have gone too far, and it’s not doing anyone any good. i don’t want to do things like this anymore. i need to be more productive. i promise that i will take the higher path and be better than this.
I recently got a job and is currently doing my training. I didn't have a hard time applying for the job and quickly passed the assessments. I wasn't happy about it, nor did I enjoy any of this. I feel scared of messing up and not being able to pass the final test at the end of the training. It's not that hard, but I'm really being scared of it. I'm kind of isolating myself from everyone and I just want to hide.
Ever since my dad died at 15 (idk maybe it started even earlier) my self destructive behavior has very much affected my relationships with teachers, co-workers and friends. At 26 ,I've come to realize more and more on how to fix it. Ever think that one just wants to be unhappy because that's all they know. It's such a crazy thought, that someone wants to make their self miserable because that's all thats recognized in their brain.
Turn that page to alcohol, It makes you forget. Which is a beautiful thing in that sense. However it's not without it's downsides, As it also makes you forget. Which while the alcohol makes everything 90% of the time better, it makes relationships and all the above harder to be consistent.
The alcohol turned into a habit, over anything. It eases the thoughts and makes me more social. It's been a godsend and a devilish-send. Chris Stapleton said it best "I'm lonely because I drink and I'm lonely cause I drank"
Now I've loved two women in my life, short of my mother (who is a saint) ,the first didn't work out sexually. It was unfortunate and because of my faults.
The second, who is a wonderful girl, with the best heart and with the kinda eyes that make everything else disappear. She also seems to come from a broken-ish home which to me she means she's understanding in my living situations. She is a prize.
Now back to my self destructions. When ever something that was to me bad, decisive or life changing. I would get blind drunk and then choose,As to not hurt anybody, because that is my biggest fear with most people. Hurting a woman is my biggest fear, whether it be emotionaly/physically. Though the latter would never happen. That goes with most decisions in my life. Hurting anybody I care about absolutely destroys me
But I choose to destroy myself instead
Any thoughts are welcome
I had the day off and decided it would be a great time to do a few loads of laundry. I go into the laundry area and there is a very attractive lady folding her sheets. I have noticed her a few times in the past and we struck up a conversation. Then she bent to get something out of the dryer and I couldnt take my eyes of her perfect ass. I could see she was wearing a white thong through the powder blue leggings she wore. she then put another load into the washer and said her goodbyes and left the laundry area. as soon as she was gone I took a look in the washer before it filled with water and I hit the fucking jackpot! 3 Thongs right on the top. Black, green and purple. I took them out and took them back to my apartment. as soon as they were dry I put on some porn and wrapped the purple thong around my cock and stroked off until I blew a massive load all over them.It made a total fucking mess. I washed them out and later that night I hung them around the door knob to her apartment. I know the girl that works in the office and she said the lady told them about the panties and she believes she knows who did that. she is blaming some other perv on the floor below us. I still have two more thongs to enjoy!
I'm a fucking fool, falling for you. I knew not to. But the way you throw good dick game, and your silly moves. Had me thinking that you've fallen too. Shit, that makes me a fucking fool.
im pre trans, and i sometimes just feel really scared and get negative thoughts because the slightest inconvenience happened / someone said something and in my mind it just escalates to self hate
what do i do
Did yall hear about the drama going on between Dustin and Lil Huddy and Nessa