It's easy to assume it was Chris' way to put zero effort into courtship to get women to approach him, but another reason he claims at various times was fear of being "punched in the face by a jerk" because of course Chris views real life like a slapstick cartoon.

DISCLAIMER: This is just a weird and outlandish theory and I'm NOT accusing anyone of doing a crime, this is just a theory I'm throwing out there based on circumstantial facts.

My darkest and weirdest theory on who the true and honest biological father of Cole Smithey is that his biological father is Elmer Thomas Rickman, Barb Chandler's Step Father. Here is my thesis:

1. Barb got the idea of grooming Chris from somewhere/someone. No normal parent forces their adult son to spoon them in bed or make them wear their dead spouse's wedding ring. Remember the "turn me loose you silly goose...you used to do that more flirtingly." Would also explain Barb's mentally unstable behavior of alcoholism, lying about her marriage to Jack, dating abusive men, and allowing her boyfriends to beat Cole.
2. Lecherous Stepparent Phenomenon: This is a phenomenon where a stepparent becomes abnormally attracted to their step-child. Disturbingly, there is scientific evidence that the lecherous stepparent phenomenon happens in men, where the step-dad becomes attracted to their step-daughter. I learned this during my workplace's mandatory child abuse awareness training, where our instructor shared disturbing stories about her growing up in 1960s Kentucky where a few stepdads ended up grooming their step-daughters into marriage, and yet nobody did or said anything, not even the police did anything because it was seen as "normal."
3. Barb never attempted to force her ex husband Ran Coleman Yeatts or her lover Jack Smithey to pay child support or alimony when she gave birth to her son Cole. Why wouldn't Barb forced the biological father to pay child support when it's their legal obligation to do so to support their child financially?
4. Cole wrote about the abuse he endured at the hands of Barb :"from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee." Cole never got into detail to explain what these "bizarre scenarios" were. There's a reason why he never went into detail about these scenarios. And why use the word bizarre?
5. The way Cole ended his ties to Barb and Bob sounded more like a bad breakup than a family splitting up.
6. Even 60 years later, Barb STILL won't tell Cole who his biological father is. Since Cole's biological father is probably dead by now, Barb literally has no benefit or reason to hide the identity of Cole's father from him. Perhaps because she is too ashamed to tell Cole that his real dad is her stepdad?
7. Barb never talked about her step dad to Chris. Why? She talked about her mom, but not her step dad? The man who helped raised her siblings.
8. This was 1950s rural Virginia. Dark abusive stuff like this happened a lot. Reason why the term "kissing cousins" exist.

For reference, I will share a story my mom told me about the first 20 years of her life growing up in Mexico. My mom told me about how when she was a teen in her small pueblo, she remembered living next to a divorced woman who got remarried to an older man, who eventually got married to the woman's daughter, which was his step-daughter. The woman reluctantly agreed to allow him to marry her daughter because she was scared of being divorced again, so her daughter and her second husband got married as soon as she turned 18 and had 2 kids. Everyone knew.

So here is my true and honest theory. Please give me your true and honest comments on this post.

Sources:

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LecherousStepparent

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/pk018x/cole_smithey_and_the_bizarre_scenarios/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S014521341000236X

Since Shadow the Hedgehog's game had the aliens and enemies called "Black Arms" I am surprised no troll group called themselves as "Blue Arms" for obvious reasons

So, Chris has spoken quite negatively about us DAMN MALES and insulted us.

Chris asking if Knuckles being stupid in Sonic Boom was because "The Y chromosomes took over? Ugh"

Calling us Jerks, Ordering us to wear bra's, wanting the "don't ask, don't tell" policy removed, not because It's discrimanatory but so "more gay men can die in explosions"

And says that Empathy is a female trait. (Implying men are not empathetic)

Why does Chris hate around 99% of the male population?

He doesn’t do shit anymore, I never thought Chris could get even more half assed. The religious shit is so fucking irritating. And the fact that people donate to his streams for him to not even do shit is so cringe.

I like how Flame the Sunbird explicitly points out that he’s not a Pokémon, but later in the same episode, he attacks by using Drill Peck, a Pokémon move.

During the iconic trip to Gamestop where Chris maced the Assistant Manager, he left Barb in the Food Court and drove home without her.

This was after Chris made sure to ditch the pepper spray can to try and cover his tracks.

I doubt Chris just 'forgot' to get Barb. I think he intentionally ditched her since they drove to the Mall together. I don't see how you can do that by accident.

Just like when Chris and Bob went to the Mall during the Pickle Man encounter. After Emily got taken from him Chris drove home without Bob.

"The Charachter of Sonic the Porcupinie does not possess limbs which are Blue. You continue to enflame my wrath with this, dare i say, worst, most utterly horrible change from the Status quo to the point of being criminal i have witnessed.

You may rescind all of the newly established Sonic the porcupine Big Explosion sound, immediately or else i will amputate both of his arms and witness all of the Sega corporation perish from this, I reiderate, worst, most horrible change from the status quo, to the point of being criminal that i have witnessed, or anyone else has witnessed for that matte"

It would have actually been a little bit witty.

The seven deadly sins are pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth.

Also any examples of him doing the seven virtues?

The seven virtues are humility, charity, kindness, patience, chastity, temperance, and diligence.

Another complain post about Chris getting bored, but at this point he is just a cashcow and it’s been like this ever since the end of the jail saga. What is the point in even following him anymore? I think this is like the saddest way to see Chris go. Like a wet fart into the darkness as the trolls gradually forgets about him.

So why are you guys still so fascinated about this dude?

Bringing your father to your date!

This can be true facts like how the Miscreants used their influence on 4-cent garbage to get Pmurt elected in 2016 to annoy Chris

Or how MLP G5 stands for "Mao Ling Plan: GreGG mays Gate Gravel" and how it was all a ploy to make Chris believe in being Jésus, so Chris would become dilluted into thinking the Branchland Court was a holy temple, all so Chris would create the driveway video and look like a moron putting Rocks in a bucket.

I assume that with the way things have been going, it's possible that Chris is gonna find a show that he suddenly starts obsessing about, with wasting tugboat money on toys based off the show to soon follow. I'd put my chips on him getting exposed to "Bluey" and incorporating it in his life since it's up his alley (a school aimed for pre-schoolers that manchildren will eat up like shit for breakfast)

Do we have a record rn?

For me it’s his confidence and lack of insecurities.

I really want to do YouTube as a hobby. I have ideas for a video but I’ve not been able to cover come the fear of putting myself out there. But I will do it in may.

Also his ability to just walk upto woman and talk to them like that, it’s creepy yes, but that is some incredible confidence.

Every relationship ive been in I was the one being asked out, it’s just something I can’t really do, I just fear the embarrassment too much.

But these two things where also his biggest flaws, because he never saw the need to improve himself. As shown by his list of demands in the attraction sign.

If there is any

View Poll

I noticed in the FoxFoxPaws video about the Megan Saga that even back then Chris would use "Period" to cap off his written sentences in his emails. I also noticed when Megan decides she's had enough and wants everything about her that Chris put up on the internet, to be taken off the internet, she emphasises her point in an email to Chris with "Period".

I know it's not something unique to Chris or Megan to punctuate sentences with "Period", but we also know how much Chris tried to emulate Megan's interests to get her to like him. And just in general when Chris is around someone long enough he picks up their personality quirks (see Lars), perhaps unconsciously.

How long til we get more of that sonichu goodness Chris is so boring now Sonichu is the only thing he could really do that might be interesting besides commit more crime or a praetor fallout.