Patriarch Ignatius hated his replacement, Photios, with a passion. Most of all, he hated how well connected Photios was. How well connected? He was made a deacon then a priest then a bishop and finally Patriarch within A SINGLE DAY. That happens when you are close with the Empire's de facto prime minister, Bardas. Due to his opposition to Bardas having a public affair, he lost his seat, which was given to Photios. Ignatius was imprisoned for a while and abused. When Basil I took the throne, he exiled Photios in order to get rid of those left of the old regime. Ignatius took back his seat. But Photios was a great Patriarch and Ignatius chose to follow all of his well thought out policies (in particular those dealing with the christianisation of Bulgaria). The two me eventually reconciled and Photios replaced Ignatius again when he died of natural causes and helped with the canonisation of his old foe.

Julian was the last pagan emperor of Rome (hence called the Apostate or the Transgressor by the Byzantines). In a conversation with Gregory (one of the great fathers of the Church) he asked who is more worthy to be called a worthy successor to the ancient Greeks and their gifts (philosophy, logic, rhetoric ect), implying it was those who held the same beliefs. Gregory answered that the Christians were more worthy, since they inherited all of these from their Greek ancestors with only one exception. When Julian asked him what it was, Gregory simply said "boy loving".

Andronicus I has rightfully been called one of the the most destructive emperors for the Byzantines. But there is no denying his formative years are insane and read like a combination of a James Bond movie, a crazy rpg and the ERE's most bs DnD campaign. I had to be assaulted by this bastard's effortless rizz and aura, so now you do as well. As a youth he was known for his intellect, charm and elegance. Manuel liked him so much as to lend him his favorite horse while on campaign. Nonetheless, he knew about his careless character and didn't make him his protovestiarios (guy in charge of the Imperial wardrobe) but gave the post to another court favorite, his nephew . Andronicus avenged himself by seducing the favorite's sister while on a hunt. They were also related, so incest was added to an already colorful list. Her relatives tried to catch them on the act and kill him but he escaped by cutting an opening on the tent with his sword. He was confronted by the Emperor but rolled a nat 20 on his charisma check by saying that "subjects follow their masters example" (Manuel was said to have had an affair with the girls sister. Also his niece). He was later imprisoned for conspiring with the Hungarians. He discovered an ancient passage underneath the cell and shawshank redemptioned his way out, digging with his bear hands but also making sure not to change the way the cell looked. He reportedly only stopped to have goodbye sex with his wife who was placed in the cell a while later, when his dissapearence was noticed. A manhunt was launched in Constantinople and he was recaptured. New plan. He pretended to be sick and was assigned a page boy to tend to him. He bribed the boy in making a wax copy of the outline of the cell keys. Andronicus son then used them to make copies, so the kid could free his father. It worked. Andronicus hid away at the palace gardens, knowing that the Palace itself was the last place they would look, since they thought he couldn't be THAT crazy. He fled on a fishermans boat but run into a patrol. Roll dice, NAT 20. He convinced them he was an escaped slave freeing a cruel master. They pitied him and left him alone. He escaped north. Locals captured him and intended to turn him in for the bounty. He pretended to have diarrhea. During one of his toilet stops he made a dummy out of spare clothes in the position of a man relieving himself. He then snuck away to safety. He joined up with the Galicians and aided Manuel during one of his wars in Hungary. They reconciled and he was allowed to return. But since he didn't like Manuels chosen heir he was exiled/made governor of Cilicia. He got bored and went to Antioch, where he seduced Phillipa, sister to the reigning Prince. It caused a diplomatic shit show. Andronicus escaped to Jerusalem with Phillipa and became governor of Beirut. They broke up though, and he got together with Theodora, widow of the former King of Jerusalem, instead. Manuel lost patience and begun hunting him. The pair eloped to Seljuq held Damascus. For the following years they would move from court to court through out the Middle East, dodging the Emperor's agents along the way, Andronicus also lending his services here and there as a commander or administrator. Eventually, Manuels men captured Theodora and their children and carried them back to the capital in a plot to lure in the renegade. Andronicus threw the towel. He was getting on in years and was tired of running. How many princesses could he bang, how many plots could he concort and how many Mcgyvere plans could he still come up with? How much more alcohol could he abuse? How many more card games could he rig? It was all meaningless. He went to Manuel, dressed in a shack and wearing chains. He had hoped the miserable image would move his cousin. Dice roll gentlemen. This is it. He is Done. Wait. WTF!!! NAT 20! Manuel, for all his great statemanship is apparently a softy and forgives. He gets an honorable retirement as a provincial governor.

When you think of the Palaiologan dynasty, badass special forces is not the first thing that comes to mind. But it did for one mofo. Philes Palaiologos. To make a long story short, the Turks were raiding Thrace, 2000 of them being holed up in a fortress they had captured. Co-emperor Michael IX attacked it with an army of mercenaries and conscripts and lost. Andronicus II is at a loss of words. In comes Philes, who had access because he was his third cousin twice removed or something. He said let me handle it. He recruited his own personal force, made exclusively out of local Greek professional soldiers. Completely disregarded the mercs and levies. Then, he attacked the Turks as they were resting by a stream after returning from yet another raid with their loot. His ambush worked and he forced them back to their fort, proceeding to cut them off and capture it. He was then made stratopedarches /division commander. I absolutely love this episode due to the following factors. First, the guy is said to have had a weak constitution. The story implies he didn't even have a rank in the army. Second, the anti raiding tactic Philes used are straight out of the byzantine tactical manuals, like the Strategikon. . He apparently was a history nerd. Finally, the story implies he did everything himself, probably even payment. This is basically the story of a well off patriot getting tired of the governments incompetence and forming his own unit of pmc so he can get things done himself. The story also proves that the Byzantines didn't have a skill issue but a severe organizational handicap. Philes and his boys are not mentioned again. Guess someone got jealous.

Manuel was the favorite general of emperor Theophilos. An Armenian veteran of great charisma, his life is beyond interesting. Accused by rivals at court of treachery, he fled to the Arabs to save his life. He was given a good income and made a military aide to the Abbasid prince. He remained loyal to his master though and, when privately recalled, he defected back, but not before crushing some rebels for the Caliph and escaping, along with other byzantine exiles, without harming any of his Arab escorts (the gigachad fulfilled his contract before returning home, and without compromising the Empire at all). He was welcomed back and made Domestic of the Schools/Commander in Chief. At an epic battle with the Arabs he personally saved the emperor by giving him a horse and then cutting through the attackers alongside the Imperial bodyguard, so Theophilos could evacuate to a secure location. He died heroically of his wounds, a couple of days later, a warrior to the end... According to some historians. Others say he survived and died of old age many years later while serving as chief regent f Theophilos's son, Michael III. The Byzantine chroniclers disagree completely and he remains one of the few high profile Eastern Romans to have this fate. He didn't just retire or fade out of history. He has different endings and people who swear by them. So, I guess what matters is what we think makes for a better story.

Marble Emperor waiting for Constantinople!

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