I've dealt with body issues for a while now, and I have been every size, from a 16 to a 0 in 4 years. I never viewed myself as "attractive". I might have thought I had an okay-looking face but disliked my body no matter my weight or my size.

A couple of years ago, I started dating someone I thought I would marry. I thought he was a great guy initially, but over time in the relationship, He became such an evil person. He would constantly comment on my body, no matter what size I was. He continually said I needed to work out, even when I weighed a little over 100 pounds at 5'1. He would say I need to "lose my stomach fat" and "grow a bigger butt" and always made fun of how I looked. I became severely depressed and felt like I was never going to be pretty or even remotely attractive.

Flash forward a year later, I ended up breaking up with him and was able to feel a little better about myself again. I took some time to myself and started dating again, and was able to find a wonderful guy (who I am with now) And I love him to pieces. He constantly compliments me and tells me I am beautiful, but for some reason, I can not find that in myself anymore. He has a female friend he dated 3ish years ago, but broke up and lost all romantic attraction/feelings towards her and just sees her as a good friend. I and this girl became friends on social media, and I hate to say it, but she is everything I wish I looked like.

She looks nothing like me and doesn't even have the same style or interests, but I constantly stalk her on social media. Whenever she posts on an Instagram story, I get a rush of anxiety and view it. Sometimes, I'll screenshot them so I can compare myself later. it has become a daily thing, where I will view her posts multiple times, including her highlights. I don't consider myself a stalker, because I do talk to her sometimes. After all, she's nice, but I also loathe her for how she looks. She is very skinny, has clear skin and beautiful hair, and can rock anything she wears. I am genuinely jealous of her. I don't know much about her and only met her once in person, but I can't help it. It is almost like I am obsessed with comparing myself to her. I have done this in the past with past boyfriends, stalking their exes or female friends. I don't mean any ill will towards this girl or anyone, I just genuinely wished I looked like her. I feel like the ugliest girl in the world compared to her. I wish I had a flat stomach and didn't have excess skin.

I don't know what to do. It has become almost an addiction. Neither she nor my boyfriend is aware of this. My boyfriend constantly compliments me and says I am the most beautiful girl in the world, but I can not see it when she exists. He knows I am insecure and tries his hardest to help me but I can not see it for the life of me. I am typing this at 1 in the morning because I am stuck here spiraling. I do not think I have been this dysmorphic/insecure in a very very long time. Any advice would help.

The reason why I’m asking this is because I don’t have it confirmed by a therapist/people who give out diagnoses, and I’d hate to just assume that I have BDD, since other people hate when other people assume they have a diagnosis.

Now, I know that people’s comments won’t be valid as a diagnosis, but maybe it could give me an idea of the situation

I think knowing that I have an actual reason for why I think this way and that all my negative thoughts aren't all actual facts, could maybe help me relax, just a tiny bit.

Sooo, I’ve been sitting in the bathroom, crying for a while now reading other’s posts on this topic. I just recognize so much of other people’s experience in myself.

I’ve been insecure about a lot of stuff along the years, such as my nose, my skin, my eyebrows, but lately and mostly, it has been my dark eye circles. They are just so visible and no amount of concealer or makeup techniques can cover them up. Any advice? It’s the vascular ones with a strong blue/purple/green color. I can’t say I haven’t looked up procedures to fix some of my problems, but my family is quite anti-cosmetic procedures, so I’ll see how I’ll do in the future.

A funny thing is, I can see beauty in (veryy almost) every woman I see, but why can’t I find that beauty in myself? For years now, I have felt that I look like an alien, not even a real human - cause a real human can’t possibly look this way?? Sometimes thoughts like “why hasn't anybody caught me yet for not being a human? For being a monster? How can people even stand my sight?”, crosses my mind. I can’t help but think that life would be so much better and easier if I were pretty.

I’m in the last year of school now, and everywhere I look there are beautiful people, being social and looking relaxed. I can’t help but compare them to myself and wish to be like them. For over a year I had this mantra in my head that I said over and over again in my head every time I was on the bus on my way home from school. I kept on thinking “I want to de, I want to de”, and that the world would be a much better place with me gone - but luckily other thoughts hindered me from doing anything. Those specific thoughts were more intense half a year ago, but I still continue to think about it. I’ve been sick for over two weeks now, and even though it is just an intense cold, I can’t help but think that I would be completely fine if it was a deadly disease, a fast one that wouldn’t affect my appearance. I’d be even more okay if it would mean that I took someone else’s disease so that they got healthy instead. I also have no appetite right now due to the cold, and I’m lowkey happy with that. Sometimes looking at skinny people helps me motivate myself to avoid eating too much. In reality, I don’t think I’m fat, I would just prefer to see myself at least a little bit skinnier. I want to be confident in my own body but it feels like I need to be skinnier for me to do so.

I often get stuck in the bathroom, just staring at myself. I could do it for hours, only if my family didn’t have to share the bathroom. Sometimes I do it when everyone’s asleep, but then it affects my sleep and it is overall very time consuming.

Even though I live three stairs up, I avoid using the elevator as much as I can - why? It has a freaking mirror that tells me “this is how ugly you’ve looked all day”. It is exhausting. I also avoid using other mirrors except for the ones at home.

I get really anxious when people want to take photos and I avoid it as much as I can. I hate the way I look in photos since I just look so deformed. People tend to point out that I’m pretty much in the background and that they don’t have many pictures of me.

I also have a hard time stepping outside the apartment without having makeup on, and it gets especially exhausting when you have a dog that you have to take out. I don’t want anyone to see my face all bare and I end up wearing a cap or a hood depending on the season. I also get very anxious when I have to step out the door and meet people. I’ve avoided it soo many times, and also going to school. For the past years I’ve had sooo much absence, simply for being afraid of how people perceived me. If my makeup or skin was really bad, or if I was late to school, then I’d skip the whole day. Nowadays, I’ve learnt the hard way that it gives consequences to skip school, but it is still so hard facing all the people. It feels like everybody hates me.

I absolutely hate shopping and trying on clothes. The strong lights in the dressing rooms give me so much anxiety - every flaw just becomes even more apparent. Speaking of clothes, I have a very limited amount of clothes that I feel like I can wear, and I have difficulty wearing anything revealing - dresses, swimwear etc. I’m very insecure about my shoulders, butt, chest and maybe most of all, stomach.

I sometimes doubt that I’ll ever get a boyfriend or get married and have children. Would it really be morally right to have biological children if their mom looks like a monster? What if they blame their looks on me for giving them such bad genes?

I think there’s a lot of people who have influenced me a bit into negative thoughts. For example, my narcissistic dad (whom I no longer have contact with) once pointed out that I might have to get surgery for a big mole I have on the back. I freaked out because with surgery I thought of open-heart surgery and such and told him I didn’t want to. On second thought, why would I even have to get rid of a harmless mole if it weren’t for cosmetic purposes? Throughout the years he often commented on people's weight, even that my sister had gone up in weight. He also tended to comment on women’s behaviour and why they do certain things, e.g. wearing heels to accentuate their butt. My mom is also quite obsessive with the thought of weight. She’s been having lots of diets and fasting throughout the years, and seems to never be satisfied with herself. She, too, often avoids getting pictures taken. I think social media and a lot of other people have influenced me too, mostly by saying that they are fat, when they certainly are not. In the end, aren't we all miserable?

My “BDD” often seems to come in waves, with some periods being harder than others. Still, the negative thoughts are constant and I haven’t been able to get rid of them.

I just feel so miserable, anxious, and low on energy all the time. I don’t feel joy in the things I used to and I worry about all the negative things the future holds.

There is so much more I could and would write, but this will be all for now. Thank you for taking your time reading it all (I hope it was readable) and I hope to hear some thoughts!

My husband and I want a baby in two years. We have been counting down the time line for 5 years. Every year we get closer to us starting to try, i get super anxious about seeing my body change. I lay in bed worrying i will never look the same.

2 years ago i got my breasts done and even seeing those grow really freaked me out. I’m terrified of gaining weight.

Has anyone else gone through this?

I've with my girlfriend for a year and a half now. I've always been super self conscious of my teeth because I have a condition called fluorosis which means my adult teeth formed covered in white patches and spots. I've had treatment for this but they're still there. 3 months ago, my molar tooth cracked and I need a root canal and crown. The crown is the wrong shade and every time I laugh, you can see a grey tooth next to my white teeth. It's consumed my thoughts every day for 3 months. My dentist said it's too risky to mess around with/change and if I do, I may need an extraction and implant. It's the first thing I think of when I wake up and I look in the mirror and check it right away. I know it looks awful but my girlfriend keeps telling me she doesn't care but I find it hard to believe. I'm constantly asking her to look at how bad it is and I'm constantly talking about it and showing her pics, because in my mind, she hasn't seen how bad it is and I need reassuring. It's starting to annoy her now. She got mad earlier on and said she will always support me but my obsession is making her frustrated and she doesn't wanna talk about it no more. How do I accept she loves me and forget about it before it ruins our relationship? Anyone got any tips?

I'm going to keep this as simple as I can. I am a teenage girl, and I don't look like any of the other girls in my class. They have big chests and a big booty, while I don't. They have perfect white teeth, and I don't. They are popular, and I'm not. They have perfect hair, and I don't. This makes me feel really uncomfortable and like im ugly and that no one likes me. I know that some people are going to say just smell good and be confident, but that's not working. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to start 2025 having a glow up by the end of January. PLEASE HELP!

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

​

General information

​

The BDD Foundation

​

OCD UK

​

International OCD Foundation

​

Mind.org

​

Clinical classification

​

ICD & DSM Criterias

​

For friends and family

​

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

​

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

​

Self-help

​

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

​

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

​

Support groups

​

Online support and therapy groups

​

Support groups in the UK

I hate my face and body so much it drives me mad. As soon as one insecurity goes, another new one comes and im so fed up. Im having breakdowns every day almost about my appearance, when people say i look fine and pretty. Recently, i’ve gained 5 kg through the past 2 years and ive finally put it off, but i want to lose even more. My body shape itself is not attractive, is what i realised. And hearing comments about people of asian race (im wasian) throughout my school gave me new insecurities about my face. One of my ‘friends’ started insulting me about how i am half asian during an argument. And online, the beauty standard of wasians ive seen is coloured big eyes, cute nose and striking features. I have none. My half sister also likes to complain to me about how her eyes are looking “chinky” and her and my other half sister like to make fun of Asian people. And seeing posts about how nobody wants to be asian, and saying theyre ugly and hearing girls and boys in my school saying they will never date one as they look ‘funny’ . Ive started to hate food and my face so much that its all i think about. I just think of the ‘dream’ version of myself that doesnt exist at all. It doesnt help on tiktok i just watch other people who look better than me, so i just feel worse. I genuinely hate myself so much that i feel like the only way to solve this is to kill myself. Any advice

I am a 15yr old female who weighs about 110 and is 5’3. All of my friends are lighter than me and I feel so heavy and fat for not being 100 or under. Can anyone provide advice on how to feel better or tips to lose some weight?

Hi! Im a teen female and I abbsolutly hate anyone else take a picture of me, however I love selfies and have a ton of them in my camera roll. On some photos taken by others I look good but in some i look weird. I know that our faces arent perfectly symmetrical and thats why we're weirded but I still hate those pics. My friends tell me im Beautiful and support me, I get compiments, but I cant see my ,,beauty“ when I look at some of these pictures, in the pictures I take myself I look good everytime. I dont know if my mind makes me feel weird about pictures taken by others or maybe im just not that photogenic, maybe the people taking photos are doing something wrong because in proffesional photos I look good?.. idk anymore, my friend told me i probably have body dysmorphia and Id love some feedback

I’ve been feeling pretty down lately and thought I’d share to see if anyone else feels this way or has advice.

Social media has been a double-edged sword for me. On one hand, it’s entertaining, but on the other, I can’t help but compare myself to the women I see on OnlyFans and Instagram. They look stunning—perfect bodies, flawless skin, amazing hair—and it makes me feel like I’ll never measure up.

I know there’s a lot that goes into their appearance: editing, professional lighting, surgery, etc but it doesn’t stop me from feeling inadequate. I start picking apart every part of my body and face, wishing I looked different or better.

Has anyone else gone through this? How do you deal with these feelings of insecurity?

I feel like this is a crazy question to ask because logically i should feel relieved that one of my biggest insecurities has suddenly disappeared but I just find it unsettling. Where the hell did it go? It’s not like my face suddenly changed. Is there something I’m just not seeing anymore because my brain blocked it out? Or did I imagine it altogether? If I did then yay but also that means I’ve been looking like a complete maniac for the past week and I literally had to go to the hospital after an attempt because of this. I don’t know what’s real anymore and I’m scared.

Throwaway account.

I’ve been wanting post on here for some time but I guess I feel ashamed and I know that there is a lot wrong with me. Please be kind as I’m going through a really rough patch at the moment :’)

So… this is about basically what the title says. Seeing nudity or sex scenes in films or tv shows makes me spiral, especially if the actors are hot which sucks because I wish I could just watch stuff without any problems.

I’ve dealt with body dysmorphia since I was 11 or so. I’m now 32. This has been such a painful road. I’ve tried seeing a psychologist to try help with this and it’s been so up and down.

There are many flaws with my body but my small chestedness is the thing that makes me spiral so much - to the point where I feel like KMS. I have ADHD and autism so I’m not sure how much it plays into this whole thing but I’m trying to get it under control.

For example, my partner wanted to watch the substance and he showed me the trailer to it. Halfway through there’s all this stuff showing a perfect body. I know what the message is but I can’t help but compare and I wish it had more of the positive effect on me. I watched parts of it on my own and can’t help but feel so shit because it highlights my flaws and how a lot of people in society place a lot of value on such shallow things. I don’t know if my partner has seen it without me, but I feel anxious about it for some reason and I wish I didn’t feel like this. Once again, please be kind.

I used to have implants but got them removed for health reasons and have noticed since I’ve just gone downhill in regards to that. Didn’t have as much as a problem before.

Anyone else feel like this or did and improved? I’m tired of being triggered like this. Apologies if I don’t make sense, I guess I’m kind of having a panic/anxiety moment and it’s hard to collect my thoughts.

I’m going to continue seeing my psychologist but if you have any tips or advice that can help this painful journey, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you <3

This is a hard one for me. My family is genetically skinny and tall, and I am not. I used to be skinny, but I have gained some weight. I know that I am still in a healthy weight range, but I always get compared to how I used to look. They like to point out my flaws, esp. my cheeks and my soft jaw lines, and the most uncomfortable one is my breast. none of my family have the same features so i kind of felt isolated and uncomfortable, especially when they talk about that body part of mine .A lot of times when i wear dresses and they are just "there" my family will just have weird questions ? like why do I have them have i injected some thing in them something like that I have been to theraphy but still I don't feel comfortable in my skin I hate how I look in pictures and clothes fit me weirdly but sometimes I look okay in mirrors

This is a bit of a weird one, so I hope I'm in the right place.

I've got all the usual male body dysmorphia problems, I wish I was taller and more muscular and I'm worried I'm simultaneously too skinny and too overweight.

But I've got this weird problem where I feel like my body is inherently gross and nasty and ugly because it's a male body. I feel ashamed and embarrassed by it, its hairiness and rectangleness. I watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire, and there's a scene where the main character dries herself naked by a fire, and it's shot like artwork. But I could never do something like that, because my body is male and it's not art, it's just gross. And so many men are aggressive and threatening, I feel like I am as well, that my body is as well.

Bit NSFW here: >!penises are horrible. They're ugly and dangly and I hate having one. But so many men love them and think they're god's gift to humanity, and I just don't feel that at all. !<

I'm not saying I want to run around naked all the time, not at all. Because it's for clothes as well, so many of my women friends can wear cool or interesting clothes and it fits them. I don't wear shorts because I hate my legs, but even something like jeans and a t-shirt looks so much more interesting and plain better on my friends than it does me.

And maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I were better at having a male body, if I looked like Ryan Gosling as Ken, like if I have to have a man's body the least I could do is be good at having one.

But I speak to other men and they don't feel this way at all, and I feel like I'm going mad.

Okay I’m reposting this cus it got taken down but I’m genuinely having trouble acting normal around others, I’m currently getting ready to go to church for new years and I feel like fat whale its bothering me so much no matter how much weight I loose I still don’t like myself and I can’t act normal in front of other people cus I constantly keep thinking about how bad I look

Hi. I decided to go a CBT therapist in regards to my BDD, she however rejected me because of my alcoholism which is due to my BDD. She said that I should go to an addiction focused therapist instead. I'm afraid that my illness won't be addressed properly that way. Idk what to do, it's like a chicken-egg scenerio, an endless loop of BDD thoughts -> alcohol.

We have collected a set of stories and informative pieces about BDD. From stories from people who have overcome it to celebrities who have openly talked about it, you can find articles and videos about body dysmorphia from these following links.

Public figures on BDD

• Modern Family actor Reid Ewing on BDD and plastic surgery
• Artist Billie Eilish on depression and BDD
• The Good Place actor Jameela Jamil on BDD and eating disorders
• Actor Robert Pattinson on anxiety and BDD
• Actor Megan Fox on BDD and mental health

​

Documentaries and videos

• What BDD feels like | BBC Three
• Seeing myself as ugly | BBC Three
• I feel so ugly: Body dysmorphic disorder | Only Human
• Imperfect me: The impact of BDD | SkyNews
• BDD patients see faces differently | ABC Science
• Bigorexia: Muscle dysmorphia | BBC Newsbeat
• Believing is seeing: New perspective on BDD | TEDx Oxford
• The BDD Foundation on Youtube

​

Personal stories and interviews

• Perfection is impossible | A personal story
• Living with BDD | A personal story
• I felt so ugly I didn't want to be alive | Interview
• BDD ruined my life | Interview

​

Podcasts

• Beating BDD podcast (11 episodes) | BDDFoundation
• What is BDD? | Stuff Mom Never Told You

​

Books

• Books by people with BDD
• Books by professionals on self help
• The BDD workbook

I always leave a gap between my teeth even when my mouth is closed. If I fully close my jaw I find it makes my face short and my chin protrudes out. I don't think I have an underbite or overbite though. I tend to overthink about this when I'm outside and i feel like I'm conscious of every movement on my face

holidays are terrible for me because everyone feels the need to post group photos sharing how grateful they are. i think it’s a sweet sentiment, and i know it’s selfish but i hate it. this is literal torture for me. i look so hideous in these photos, like legitimately deformed or something. my face looks like something out of the mandela catalogue. i specifically ask my friends and family not to post it but they don’t get it, they’re just like “nooo you look fine i look bad too 🥺” when i obviously look like shit and they look way better. they think i’m just fishing for compliments or something when it literally destroys my mental health. i had to delete social media today. i feel nauseous thinking about it

I’ve never allowed myself to love anyone before because of PTSD and body dysmorphia. Like so many others, I felt hideous. Then, I met a guy online. Everything was perfect.. he was kind, good-looking and understanding. Eventually, as our relationship grew more romantic, he asked for a picture of me.

It wasn’t an unreasonable request—he just wanted to see the person he was getting to know. But for me, it was terrifying. I had photos where I felt okay about myself. They weren’t filtered or edited, but I always felt like they didn’t truly represent me, I also couldn’t shake the feeling that I looked completely different in every picture.

In a brave moment, I decided to send him several photos that showed me in different lights. I was terrified. My heart was pounding, and I prepared myself for rejection and during the few minutes he was looking at my pics, I cried because in my mind, “Who would want someone who looks like that?” Before this, I’d told him about my body dysmorphia and how I believed I was incredibly ugly.

His response shocked me. He told me, “You have a face I would love to wake up next to,” and went on to say how pretty I was, listing all the features he admired. For a fleeting second I felt beautiful. I looked at the photos and thought, “Maybe they’re not so bad.” But that moment passed quickly, and I returned to my usual self-criticism.

As our relationship progressed, he’d send me photos of himself and ask me to do the same, saying he genuinely missed me. Despite hating it, I sent him pictures. Each time, I braced for rejection, but every time, he told me how much he loved seeing me, how much it comforted him, and how beautiful I was and I could feel his mood getting better.

Eventually, he asked to meet in person. We live only about an hour away from each other, but I dreaded the idea. I was convinced he’d feel like I had catfished him, even though I never edited my photos. After months of saying no, I finally said yes.

He reassured me over and over that our date wasn’t for evaluation. “I already love you,” he said. “I just want to meet you and get used to being with you physically.”

So, after seven months, I went on my first-ever date. My heart was pounding, my hands were freezing, and I felt like crying when I looked at myself in the mirror, and it didn't help that my mom -my biggest bully ever- mentioned that i don't look good and that I look rough. I thought about canceling, he would understand, but I didn’t.

When I arrived, he was waiting outside the restaurant. I told him over the phone to go inside so I could prepare myself for his reaction, but there he was, smiling as soon as I stepped out of the Uber. He greeted me with a handshake, respecting my space because I’d asked him not to stare too much.

The date was perfect. For the first time in my life, someone told me I was beautiful—and I believed he meant it. He kept looking at my eyes, then my lips, and back to my eyes, saying things like: “You’re gorgeous. You’re stunning. I really love this. You’re so funny in real life. I’m so comfortable with you.”

He held my hand, kissed it softly, and promised to make me happy for eternity. It was the first time anyone had held my hand, let alone kissed it. He kept playfully hitting my shoes, pinching my arm, and laughing with me like we were kids. He didn’t want to let go of my hand and kept asking if I was okay.

When I got home, neither of us could stop talking about how perfect it was. I expected him to feel deceived or tell me I wasn’t attractive, but instead, he sent me this:

“Your eyes are stunning(I have boring brwon eyes)

It’s engraved in my mind and heart.

I will marry you.

I’m 100000000000% certain I want to marry you, [My Name]. 🫶🏼

You’re the prettiest.

The funniest.

The smartest.

The wisest.

The most elegant woman.

I loved your skin.

Your hand.

The jokes.

The laughs.

The tears.

The walks.

The food.

The outfit.

The talks.

Your eyes.

Your smile.

Your face.

Your heart.

God, God, God. I love you.”

I was over the moon. I couldn’t sleep that night from sheer happiness. Everything has been going wonderfully since, and we’re getting engaged this year.

He’s my best friend, and I tell him every time I feel ugly. He always reassures me, pointing out all the things he loves about me. It hasn’t cured my body dysmorphia, but it’s less intense now.

Be courageous. Don’t let body dysmorphia hold you back. Take the steps it tries to make you avoid—you might be surprised by the outcome. I’m so glad I didn’t shut him out because of my fear. If I had, I would’ve missed out on the love of my life.

Does anyone else fear aging? It scares me so much, I feel like I lose my worth the older I get. Even though I already believe that I’m ugly it would just get worse and worse and I’ll get harder to love. I don’t have a good enough personality either so I’m going to be so lonely. That’s if my boyfriend leaves me, so far he’s all I have. Is there anything I can do to help with this fear? I don’t have access to therapy anymore

Im 18F and although im at a healthy weight (~125 lbs) for my age and height I wish I was lighter. Im 5’7” while the rest of my friend group is around 5’ to 5’4 so I know I SHOULD way more than some of them since im taller. We do chicken fights in the pool and im always on the bottom cause im scared they couldn’t support my weight. My ideal weight was 100 lbs but then changed to 110 lbs as i kept gaining weight as i grew up. I understand that I’m not supposed to weigh the same as I did when I was 12 but I still feel bad about my weight. I run, so I am active but that increases leg muscle (muscle weighs more than fat). My ideal weight would be unhealthy for me but I still wish I was that light. Any advice?

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

​

General information

​

The BDD Foundation

​

OCD UK

​

International OCD Foundation

​

Mind.org

​

Clinical classification

​

ICD & DSM Criterias

​

For friends and family

​

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

​

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

​

Self-help

​

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

​

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

​

Support groups

​

Online support and therapy groups

​

Support groups in the UK

I'm not sure how to feel about this. Before I left I was nearing my ideal weight (5'4 @ 144lbs and 11% bodyfat) and I thought I resembled the pinnacle of health! although I was hungry and irritable on the inside. Then my mental health declined and I had to take an extended leave of absence from work. In that time I gained 20lbs (I am disgusted by my reflection now) but now people keep telling me how much healthier I look.

I don't know how to reconcile this. My ideal was/is the male model aesthetic, but I didn't know this looked sickly or "tiny" to the average person.

I want to get back to where I was but now knowing how they truly feel, I'm conflicted. I don't know give a damn about what other people think, but the reception since returning has been overwhelmingly positive towards my 20lb (Jesus Christ) weight gain.

Fellow sufferers, what are your thoughts?

I'm currently single. Have been single for over a year now. Been on a dating app for quite a while and that has been extremely destructive with my BDD. Yet because of my social anxiety I can't find a girlfriend in any other way.

I woke up today and felt lonely and, quite frankly, in need of sex as well. Went back on the app. Did a bunch of swiping. Now I feel even worse. I feel so disgusting and unloveable and hopeless. And it's making me think about how different my life would be if I were beautiful.

Maybe I'm more attractive than I often think. That's possible, BDD and all. I concede that. Or maybe my life would be exactly the same if I were beautiful. But my guess is that I'm not attractive and that it would be very different.

I've been utterly miserable for a long time now. And while it wouldn't just cure my heartbreak from my previous relationship, I think nothing really can, it would I think at least make me feel better if I found someone new or at the very least was able to have sex with someone again. I would at least feel less mired in misery and rejected and disgusting and alone and miserable.

I feel like just feeling better about myself by getting attention from women, or at least not getting constant rejected, would also significantly lift my mood and my confidence. That would probably help with my anxiety and make it easier to get my life on track in other ways. And, of course, it's a well-known fact that if you're beautiful, people give you more opportunities in life.

Maybe I'm delusional when I say it, but I feel like my life would be entirely different and much better if I were beautiful.

Anyway, anyone else relate to this? Obviously all of us are hung up on our looks, but do you also feel like not only would you feel better if you were beautiful, but your entire life would just be way better?

I refuse to put any pictures of myself online, even the thought of it puts a knot in my stomach. Last week, I went out for a meal and some drinks with a friend who loves to take pictures. I feel very uncomfortable explaining why don't like my picture taken, so I agreed to a few selfies but requested that she doesn't post any of me online. Later, she asked if I'd like some taken of me in the restaurant, but then quickly said "'oh yeah sorry you don't like having your picture taken", which suggested to me that she acknowledged that I didn't want my pictures shared. The next day she posted those selfies online after I asked her not to. Not only that, but she'd also face tuned herself, which she openly admits that she will do this to make herself look better. I was mortified and even cried to my partner about it. Unfortunately, I don't have a backbone and I feel too ashamed to explain why I would like the pictures removed. I have been ruminating ever since. I can't bring myself to look at the photos she has shared but I can't stop thinking about all the people who have seen them. I'm aware that she has a public profile where professional sports players follow her and engage with her posts.

Today, my partner shared a picture of us to a relative he has only recently connected with. He received the typical "oh she's gorgeous!" Response that people often say to be polite. He screenshot the conversation to show me. But again, I am mortified. I remember when that photo of us was taken, I immediately became tearful when I saw it and needed to walk away to give myself space to regulate. He was noticeably frustrated with my reaction at the time. Right now I am trying not to spiral over it.

The rational side of me can understand that, for most people, sharing photos is a normal behaviour and there isn't any malicious intent behind it. I have attempted to explain numerous times to my partner my discomfort about my appearance and taking photos. My friend has known me for 5 years and is aware that I hate having my picture taken. She is aware that I have mental health problems, although she doesn't know the specifics of them. I am already ashamed that important people in my life know I have mental health issues.

How am I to reinforce boundaries in a way that the other person understands? Even though I have tried to explain my feelings before I feel that people just ignore or forget how distressing this is for me, or they simply aren't getting it :( what am I to do? How can I manage my immediate feelings now?

Going to therapy or getting professional help is not always an option, getting help may also take some time. To help you to better understand and address BDD by yourself, we have compiled a workbook that you can do by yourself. It contains information and tasks which will help shine a light to why BDD is the way it is and how you can deal with the symptoms. All chapters are based on an official workbook by the Centre for Clinical Intervention.

The BDD workbook:

• 01 What is body image?
• 02 Could I have body dysmorphic disorder?
• 03 Negative impacts of BDD
• 04 What are the causes of BDD?
• 05 Appearance assumptions
• 06 Triggers
• 07 Appearance preoccupation
• 08 Attention training [a coping tactic]
• 09 Checking and approval seeking
• 10 Reducing unhelpful checking and approval seeking [a coping tactic]
• 11 Negative predictions
• 12 Avoidance and safety behaviour
• 13 Reducing negative predictions [a coping tactic]
• 14 A new way of operating
• 15 Dealing with set-backs
• 16 Maintaining gained progress

I noticed this condition seems to always make me doubt who I am. I’m constantly weighing my self worth based on people’s body language towards me. How they respond to my presence subconsciously speaks volumes about how I then value myself. That’s why I isolate. Can’t stand this overanalysing bs. Is this linked to some distant avoidant attachement style which perpetuates the problem. Whats the common denominator?

I keep having days where I look in the mirror, feeling surprisingly happy with how I look, then immediately picking apart every little physical flaw even if it's something only I would notice. It doesn't help that my mom makes me feel trapped in this cycle, and I love her, but she can be really insensitive sometimes. I'll be doing nothing and then, out of nowhere, she'll say "You look fatter" or "I'm pretty sure you've gained weight", it sends me into a spiral and makes it hard for me to look in the mirror.

I keep visualizing myself as some kind of ugly and distorted monster, and sometimes it feels like the only way of rationalizing why people give me side-eyes in public. It sucks that it feels like I can't achieve anything or live life unless I'm pretty.

I struggle with overcoming my biggest insecurity: my prominent dark circles.

But the reason being is because it is a fact I hate the look of prominent dark circles. I cannot gaslight myself into saying 'no, let me say i love dark circles.' and eventually I will like them. I also can say 'dark circles are normal and many people have them', which doesn't negate the fact that I hate them.

The only way I would be able to defeat this BD cycle around this insecurity is seeing disproving my hypothesis "I find dark circles ugly" with a counterexample (as in any one example of someone with dark circles I find beautiful).

However, I've went through 'celebrity un-retouched, closeup, high-resolution' photos (of which there aren't that many) and there simply isn't one example of a face with prominent dark circles that looks good.

How have you guys approached the 'truths' within your recurring BD thoughts? Or have you ever successfully addressed a recurring BD thought by actually finding a counterexample of a personal insecurity that you find looks Ok or good on someone else?