I (17f) hate being in and even more so seeing photos of myself to the point where it disgusts me and causes me to spiral into a depressive state. My friends keep infringing on this boundary. They all know I despise photos and a few know the reason. It hurts even more when a really close friend (who does know why I can’t stand photos) showed other people these photos of me. While they were extremely apologetic and upset I still feel betrayed, they attempted to diminish it by going ‘ they were photos where you looked decent’ but I still feel disgusted and distressed. Worst of all they were ‘candid’ photos ie I was laughing and to me they’re the worst kind of photos, because my face looks horrifically round, my nose goes all pointy and my eyes squint and show my eyebags more. To make it worse the friend she showed keeps sending the photo to me, so it’s like a constant reminder (they don’t know how I feel towards photos). I genuinely feel so horrified and betrayed and I don’t know what to do.

What the heck. Give me a tiny dainty jawline like those douyin girls.

Am I cursed?

Am I just taking photos wrong?

If I hold the camera up any heigher my forehead looks too big.

My two choices are: huge forehead or huge jaw

I have never been diagnosed with body dysmorphia. My mental health has worsened over the last six months. I think I had some body image issues at a young age, but they're worse now.

I've hated my body on a daily basis for the past six months. It's so painful. I feel like my body deserves how I feel about it because my body isn't good enough. It's fat, ugly, and even my vagina is defective. It's so upsetting to know you have a body that makes you unlovable. I feel like I can't accept or cope with having the body that I have.

It's made me look at relationships, other people, and myself differently.

What can cause someone to regress back to a younger age, especially if they were traumatized or went through an upsetting event at that age? I feel younger.

One thing I've noticed is that sometimes when I'm upset and distressed by having the body that I have (which is on most if not all days lately), I just walk for long periods of time and don't think about anything. Is this dissociating, "zoning out", or something else? I don't know if it's some sort of a coping skill I've developed due to how I feel about my body.

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

​

General information

​

The BDD Foundation

​

OCD UK

​

International OCD Foundation

​

Mind.org

​

Clinical classification

​

ICD & DSM Criterias

​

For friends and family

​

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

​

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

​

Self-help

​

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

​

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

​

Support groups

​

Online support and therapy groups

​

Support groups in the UK

I can really not fathom the thought of ever being comfortable enough to be in a relationship let alone be intimate with someone. I can't understand how some of you guys even managed to get in one.

I mean I am ugly and probably will never have the chance to get in one anyway but I also know damn well that if that opportunity ever arises I would have to decline because of my bdd.

I know I have body dystrophia but its only getting worse because I get bloated super easily, some days I literally look 20 pounds heavier. Like its noticeable. So sometimes I feel good but all of a sudden I am bloating. One day to the next.

Anyone else notice this?

any one tried this workbook !!
How it works

I thought that I had slowly got over the suffering regarding my appearance and could accept my changed body/skin... but now it's hitting full force again. Since I suddenly developed skin infections all over my body a year ago, about 4 months later (after no solution had been found and it only got worse and worse) my psychological problems started (depression and body dysmorphic disorder... although I still argue with the doctors that I would rather call it an “adjustment disorder”, since my skin changes are visible and also noticed by others as “abnormal”). I developed severe depression - I isolated myself from everyone and at some point I didn't go out of the house until I didn't even leave my bed anymore (so I could hide my physicality in a certain way... even if it may sound strange). Well, and I overdosed on a certain drug (which was totally not suicide-inducing and only gave me one night of crazy side effects - like uncontrollable twitching.... actually that night reawakened my will to survive for a while).

Nevertheless, this will to live has now - about 6 months later - completely disappeared again. I think about suicide every day - not necessarily in the sense that I could do it right now, but I realize that I can't take it anymore and I think I'll burst at some point. This feeling of being disfigured. Still. I thought I could try to treat the scars in winter (and even that will be hard financially and I would probably never get the improvement I want (= my old body). I no longer feel desirable and lovable. There is one person I sleep with who kisses my inflammation and scars - tells me it doesn't bother him.But that doesn't help.Even my friends, who almost all (re)embrace me lovingly after isolation and who don't care about my appearance in the slightest, don't help me. I am grateful to him, but I always think that he can't be serious and deserves better. Am on the verge of distancing myself all the time (we are not committed, so no “breakup”).

Even my friends, almost all of whom embrace me lovingly again after my isolation (unfortunately I no longer have contact with some of them, which hurts too, but I can understand it...) and who don't care about my appearance in the slightest, don't help me. I think about suicide almost every day because I can't manage to exist in my changed body and live normally (especially not with anything like ease). The day before yesterday I was at a Halloween party and saw so many people enjoying their lives, moving and dancing freely in their beautiful bodies....I wrapped myself thickly in clothes and wasn't able to feel any joy because I was only thinking about my body (and suicide)....I don't know why I'm writing here, but I just can't take it anymore. How do you manage to keep going?

anyone else feel like they have the potential too be “attractive”, like on the days i actually feel somewhat slightly confident in myself (which is once a month and lasts for 5hrs), i’ll take a selfie or look in the mirror and see potential. it’s really intoxicating because it makes me hate myself even more, it’s like oh crap need too lose even more weight. like i hate too think it but i want surgeries. but with surgeries i think i could be beautiful. but i know deep down i’d still hate myself or probably even more. i just want to look good enough where someone is content with my face, but jeez a lot of work too do for that

I’ve always thought I was a alright looking person but that all changed since I found out about the inverted filter, I looked at it and one eye was higher, my jaw looked a little funny, I looked cross eyed, I looked different, but the mirror picture of me I look perfectly symmetrical and I can’t find any asymmetry’s. I also recently tried the true mirror and I look alright in that. It’s just my rear camera and the inverted filter makes me so asymmetrical, it’s now my biggest insecurity.

I find it a pretty interesting subject, i used to weigh 230 and was obese, i got to 170, still felt obese, i’m currently 185 (still feel obese) looking at pictures of me at 170 i looked so skinny, but during that time i felt obese, there surely has to be a psychological reason some people suffer with this?

Really struggling with comparison to my past self. Sometimes going through old photos and reliving the days when I was thinner, more defined arms, "everything was bright and sunny, and my tummy fit into my workout pants without them rolling over when I bent over. I ran really fast, and it is all b/c I was skinny" (But the brain leaving out how I was always fatigued, always needing to deep breathe b/c i felt like I was anxious and obsessed w food all the time. Injury prone, not recovering from my workouts.)

I did some journaling about how that body served me. and I get it- I felt safe from rejection. I don't care that I got more attention, it was just that I knew I was protected from negative attention. I was proud of how I looked (though paradoxically was hyper-obsessed with body and food and digestion.) My body matched my identity of someone who was strong. Even when life was shitty, at least I could rely on my ability to do cool stuff, lift weights and do cool handstand stuff. I am grieving b/c I know I can never go back to getting that kind of satisfaction from my body again. I'm too far out of diet culture, and that ignorance is no longer an option (nor do I want it to be). I can still do really cool stuff, and run up mountains and whatnot. But as is the diet culture trap, its not good enough unless you look like you can do cool stuff. 🙃

It feels so scary to let go of hope that I can have that body again. It feels scary to think that I will never feel that confident in myself again. It feels scary to think that my security blanket is taken away, and even though I have other ways of coping with uncertainty in life now, I'd REALLY have to change my life to feel satisfied. Finding a new job is harder than eating less. Speaking my truth into the world by starting the Youtube channel or entering a speech competition does not motivate me- but I know that deep down, I want to do them.

It feels scary to think that that girl is just gone. The one in pictures is gone. I look back at her body with longing, and I can never have that again..... It feels scary to not know where my body will land. I don't want to keep looking back with longing to a past that I know I don't ACTUALLY want to go back to, because I was injured, obsessed, GI distress, and anxious all the time. And it feels scary to think that this new weight is actually a set point my body is happy with because I AM NOT. Why can't my body let me be at the bottom of that range?

Editing to add: Another piece of it is I am moving into a new chapter of life with kids, family, building a house, sheep and bunnies and chickens etc. Maybe even a mini-van ( please god, no but also... maybe.) This is a completely new identify shift from being the boss who has her shit together, helps a ton of people at work, manages her boss and team, and runs up mountains on the side. Vs a slower, softer, more simple life. I dont want to let that boss part go. Logically I know that this energy is just me- it won't go away when I have kids (and have a new body, and less time for fitness etc)... maybe a part of me feels like if I let go of the pursuit of that old body, I'm letting my ambition go? Not sure...

I don't know what my question is. I guess I want to just know that it will be OK, and that I will be able to move through this with hope for a future, and excitement for what lies in store instead of trying to go backwards.

Going to therapy or getting professional help is not always an option, getting help may also take some time. To help you to better understand and address BDD by yourself, we have compiled a workbook that you can do by yourself. It contains information and tasks which will help shine a light to why BDD is the way it is and how you can deal with the symptoms. All chapters are based on an official workbook by the Centre for Clinical Intervention.

The BDD workbook:

• 01 What is body image?
• 02 Could I have body dysmorphic disorder?
• 03 Negative impacts of BDD
• 04 What are the causes of BDD?
• 05 Appearance assumptions
• 06 Triggers
• 07 Appearance preoccupation
• 08 Attention training [a coping tactic]
• 09 Checking and approval seeking
• 10 Reducing unhelpful checking and approval seeking [a coping tactic]
• 11 Negative predictions
• 12 Avoidance and safety behaviour
• 13 Reducing negative predictions [a coping tactic]
• 14 A new way of operating
• 15 Dealing with set-backs
• 16 Maintaining gained progress

I know im ugly, it's a fact. I've been told by everyone I know that I am and I see it when I look in the mirror. But recently my OCD therapist has said that I may be suffering BDD but I don't know how you distinguish between this disorder and just having very low self esteem. I know 100% that I'm not exaggerating how I look because even my close family agree that I have the malformations that I see in my face. However the last few months it's all I can think about day and night and I feel like even strangers are laughing at me when I walk past (or maybe they genuinely are I just don't look for long enough). Next week im looking at attending a support group, but I don't want to go if it turns out I don't have BDD as we have to all talk about our experiences.

Also what is upsetting me the most is my inability to date. I'm a 25 year old woman and I have been rejected more times than I can count, let alone ever been asked out. I constantly feel the need to check how ugly I am by changing my photos on dating apps, yet I still receive no matches and I end up feeling more depressed. I feel desperate for an answer on exactly how ugly I am but I think finding it out will just make me feel like giving up on everything

I am 16 years old and have been diagnosed with BDD. I have always loved mermaids. I did synchronized swimming for a while. The more ~elite~ girls got to wear mermaid tails and perform with them. I am not there yet.

Anyways, I love mermaids and feel like I'm a mermaid in spirit. When I call myself a mermaid in front of friends or family, someone always says, "no you're not!" or "nope, you're a human!"

Is it normal to get genuinely offended by that? When someone says I'm not a mermaid, what I really hear is "you're not that attractive." That's because I often see beautiful girls with long hair get called "mermaid" a lot and I compare myself to them. I've seen Sara Paxton in Aquamarine and wish I looked like that.

Do people think they are being smart by calling me a human? Like no sh*t, I know what species I am. They know I love mermaids, so let me have this one!

I know you're probably reading this thinking, "um, you're 16! Grow up!" But I am actually truly hurt.

Am I just being irrational? How could I stop being offended by this, and how could I respond?

I've been suffering from acne from past few months and went on Accutane, did not go out at all and even if I did I covered my face like crazy, now my skin is clear but with post acne marks and still I do not go out at all and if someone points it out I cry like really hard over it, and wish that I could just throw this face away. Is this bdd cuz most of the PPL on accutane go through the same experience,pls help.

I hear Latinas complimented 24/7 and touted like they’re some kind of god like thing. It makes me irritated bc I’m southern European, curvy and have similar facial features to them but we’re not praised one bit. My ocd and inferiority complex latches on to this and idk how to get out of it. What do I do? I’m fair/olive but I think this stems from negative experiences w guys comparing me to darker women that were my ethnicity and hearing thr constant dick riding of Latinas.

This can't be it surely? Like I'm past the age of glow ups from puberty and now I'm this.

I'm so far from ever being able to truly look into the mirror and enjoy what I see. It's a joke that I'm this grostique and inhumane looking, whilst others just look normal? E

Why should I plan my existence around what surgies to get until I start living? I mean I could but, I would be doing a dis-service against my BDD mindset.

I really wish I could love myself but, I don't like anything i see when I come face to face with a mirror.

I don't think I'll ever accept this reality honestly.

Anyone else feel as they are trapped and see no way out?

I shipped to basic on July 30th a complete mess, I was in a complete downward spiral. I remember buzzing my hair before I shipped and I couldn’t look in a mirror for about 4 days, if I’d been home any longer I probably would’ve hurt myself. I arrived to basic with nothing but hatred for myself.

Fast forward 3 months and my life has changed for the better. I still struggle immensely sometimes but ultimately I can look at myself and not immediately feel disgust. I’m still an ugly piece of shit for sure but I’m able to look back at my progress now, I’m down 45 pounds, when I saw my family for the first time they said I look visibly thinner and my nana didn’t even realize it was me!!

Joining the army was my final attempt to fix myself and although I still struggle every day with self hatred/body dysmorphia, looking back on where I was before, I’m really proud of how far I’ve come :)

Hated my teeth color since teenager and now aged 30 I feel like I've lost a lot of experiences in life.

Don't feel confident when looking in the mirror and feel sick if I ever see my teeth on show

I don't feel like I'll ever be able to date properly or excel in my career due to this insecurity of mine due to never wanting to smile or show teeth and I feel i always mumble by default And if I show my teeth I feel like people are judging me

And I feel like this cause me to shut away from people

I just want to be happy and feel confident in expressing myself

Tried whitening in the past via dentist, at home whitening and strips over the last 10 years but never felt happy with the results maybe because I'm expecting the perfect shade (ironically i detest the fake Hollywood glowing smile )

It’s draining now because I just want to live my life and embrace it and apart from this issue I feel happy with other areas of my life but this has become a obsession that I’m slowly starting to accept is a serious issue

People think I'm confident which always surprises me at times and this false perception is taking a toll as I never feel at rest or at ease.

Being in public and talking literally breaks me and I feel overloaded, trapped and disgusting.

I constantly take pictures in different lighting just to see if I can learn to accept myself but it fails everytime

Not sure what options I have left

One day i want to feel purely unshackled without this constant obsession 24/7

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

​

General information

​

The BDD Foundation

​

OCD UK

​

International OCD Foundation

​

Mind.org

​

Clinical classification

​

ICD & DSM Criterias

​

For friends and family

​

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

​

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

​

Self-help

​

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

​

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

​

Support groups

​

Online support and therapy groups

​

Support groups in the UK

I know everyone is insecure somehow, but I feel like what I do goes too far but I can't really help myself.

I figured I probably need help from a few indications

1. I'm overly conscious about what I eat. I want to be skinny and for the past weeks I've stopped eating enough to actually fill my stomach..I'll only do that a few times but I'll try to eat as little as possible.

2. I've had issues with my mental health in the past where I would spend time crying a lot. And hating myself and hurting myself.

3. I actively avoid social situations because I don't feel pretty enough.

4. I obsess over pictures people take of me and a bad picture will have me depressed for a while and I'll feel so bad that I'll cry for hours.

5. I engage in frequent checking of my appearance throughout the day. In any reflection. I feel like I'm always trying to figure out what I look like and spend a lot of time in the morning taking pictures of my face to figure out what I really look like

6. My insecurities cause me to not want to interact with anyone. And cause me to wonder if I can actually live life.

7. I have a lot of self doubt and constantly feel the need to seek to fix something about myself

These are all things I deal with to what I feel is a more excessive amount than anyone I know. But there are moments where I feel like I look fine and in those moments I started to worry when I'll look bad again.

Do you relate to these?

Especially "kinda cute". . My fiance called me cute the other night and I didn't really like it...I'm a 24 y/o MOM. To me, it feels infantilising, even a little patronizing to be called "cute" at this age. It doesn't help that I don't agree because I don't see myself as anything but a big blob. And nowadays, it's borderline unacceptable to be anything other than "hot" and "stunning" or a "bombshell". I've accepted I'm never going to be a "smoke show" but I'd rather never hear a compliment ever again in my life than to be called "cute" again. 😭

I understand that obviously appearance changes with time. But I feel as though my facial features change consistently and every picture of me is a different person. It’s hard to actually grasp what I truly look like and as someone who wants to be an actor it’s becoming really difficult. Anyone else experiencing the same? Or any tips in general?

does anyone else feel as though no matter how much they get complimented, or told they're beautiful it will never be enough. Like I have never actually been straight up told that i am ugly or that there is something objectivally wrong with me but I still percieve almost every interaction i have as an insult, or a lie if i am straight up being complimented. For example I am compared to emma roberts!? she must be really ugly and that was an insult. Every day it feels like my new insecurity has changed one day my nose is huge the next day i have a recessed chin the next day my chin is HUGE i have no winning. Im aware that one of my eyes is slightly lower than the other and it feels like some kind of sin ive commited, like i have to hide that fact from people or they will not find me attractive, like the minute they realize they will run. If i am not perfectly symettrical i have no worth. its not just that i want to be conventionally attractive, i need to be perfect. i dont know how to attack this, everything always feels like proof that im secretly ugly and no one told me.

Does anyone else feel that it’s not just your face and appearance that shifts from time to time, but other people’s and sometimes animals and things too?

I noticed that sometimes I see people differently appearance-wise , for example, the same person has a more rounded face some days and some days it’s slimmer.

Edit: Additional question :

Does the way you feel about certain people affect the way they look that day? And does the way you feel affect how things look that day? Eg: someone looking “not as good” when you’re sad or angry at them etc

Recovery from BDD might sometimes feel like a distant goal that seems, at times, impossible to achieve. But many people recover from BDD or learn to reduce the symptoms to the point where they don't play a role in their everyday life. Remember that a mental disorder is not a life long sentence but rather something that can be managed and recovered from.

Here we have collected a set of stories and advice on what recovery looks like and how others have gotten there.

Watch personal stories

• Tips for Overcoming Body Image Issues | Kim White
• My BDD Recovery | Annie Elainey
• Finding body peace | Annie Elainey
• Healing Ugly – How I healed my body dysmorphia | helloamygarner
• How I Deal With BDD, tips for when you're having a rough time | AlexandriaTheGreat
• BDD (& Things That Can Help) | Melanie Murphy
• Hannah Lewis, recovery story | BDD foundation
• Alex Mummery, recovery story | BDD foundation

Read personal stories

• Recovery stories | BDDFoundation
• How I recovered from BDD | International OCD Foundation

Professional advice

• CBT for BDD - Rob Willson / BDDFoundation
• Coping and Recovering from BDD when you have Visible Flaws - Dr Rob Willson

Healthier perspective

• On feeling ugly | School of Life
• Our Bodies are Not an Image | Mary Jelkovsky, TEDx
• Beauty and how we're obsessed with the wrong idea | Christina Gressianu / TEDx
• Body Positivity or Body Obsession? | Lindsay Kite, TEDx
• Shake my beauty - a series redefining what beauty means

Whenever me and my friends take a picture or videos my friend would always say she look so ugly, so fat, blablabla but it's the complete opposite of how she looks. I will awlays feel bad about why she thinks like that when I'm even uglier than her. My morale would completely drop and think is it for the sake of attention or something? I dont know, can anyone enlighten me please. Im already ugly as it is but a pretty girl like her saying shes ugly is like throwing a punch on my face hahaha

Hello! Wondering if anyone has any experience/advice about telling their partner about their BDD. We’ve been together for a bit over a month so the relationship is still new, but BDD is a big factor of my life and I feel as if my partner should be aware of it as we continue our relationship.

It hurts that this happened.

Basically, I was in class and this popular guy (who didn't like me cuz of a fight ages ago) was talking to his group of friends. One random guy asked the group if they would either date me or some other girl.

One guy said "oh that's soo easy". Idk what to make of that. Another person said " cyberxea looks just like you dude" to the popular guy to which he got offended. And the last thing I heard was a guy being shocked and asking "wait cyberxea is fat?!"

It's a little messy I know, i couldnt hear the whole thing as i sat far away from them and could only hear bits of their convo.

I'm really sad that my appearance was talked about so casually. They didn't have much good to say either. One of the things that I couldn't stop thinking about is the word "fat". I haven't been called that in ages. I'm 5'2 and weight 112 pounds. I don't understand.. whatever.

It just stings I guess. I thought I finally improved looks wise. Girls call me pretty so was this group making fun of me just cuz they didn't like me as a person? I'll never know.

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about this happening and don't know how to move on. Ik they're just dumb teenagers, but I'm sad that this is how some people think of me. I don't even wanna show my face at school. Wish I could just show up to places wearing a paperbag on my head with holes for eyes.

How do I deal with this situation and not let it affect me?