Ever since I found out 2-3 years ago about true mirrors and how that’s how people see you I’ve been unhealthily addicted to putting two mirrors together at a 90 degree angle to look at myself the way others see me and every single time, without fail, it gives me that gut wrenching feeling as if someone just stabbed me or my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I hate it so much.

One of the things I do a lot is look at good looking guys online to admire and analyze and compare to myself. It makes me feel very insecure about my appearance because I don’t look good. Today I looked in the mirror and noticed how bad my skin is. This bathroom had a mirror on the side too so you can see yourself unmirrored. I saw myself unmirrored and noticed how assymetrical and how ugly my nose is. The first surgery I’m getting is definitely rhinoplasty. I don’t know why I couldn’t have been average looking. I get so jealous when I see good looking people. It makes me frustrated that I’m not good looking like them. When I analyze all my features I realize how imperfect I am. My bone structure is ugly, my eyes are ugly, nose, my lips are weird. I’ve been trying so hard lately to work harder on my skin, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect. It’s so frustrating.

I keep seeing people who look EXACTLY how I want to look on social media and it’s triggering me so much. We have absolutely nothing in common looks-wise and I don’t even have any chance of looking remotely similar to them. I am stuck in this disgusting unloveable body while you just exist somewhere having every feature I desire. It doesn’t help that I’m currently talking to a guy online. I haven’t even shown him my face yet but I just keep thinking of how disappointed he would be upon seeing my face and how he’d probably fall head over heels over these girls I’m seeing everywhere online. He’s probably surrounded by pretty girls irl as well. It’s like I don’t even stand a chance. It sounds so bad when I say it, but pretty girls are genuinely the bane of my existence. I feel like I can’t exist in peace knowing they are everywhere.

How do I become okay with my man looking at other girls on here? Like it's destroying my confidence and making the bbd worse. Before we got together he was doing that and I don't want him to feel like he has to change. I know that the best option is probably to go separate ways but he promised he would stop but when he went to post something a whole bunch of nsfw stuff showed up on recently visited. I was able to ignore it for a couple of days but the last two I keep having dreams about him cheating (I don't think he'll cheat though) but I think it's my anxiety acting up. I don't know what to do because I love him so much and I want to be able to change my mindset so our relationship works. But after seeing that it makes me think why even send sexy pics if he lied about not looking that up on here.... I'm slowly starting to be okay with him watching porn (which is like the same thing but for some reason him looking it up here destroys me) I mean it still destroys me with porn but i accepted the fact he wasn't going to stop and so I had to be okay with it. I need help... I'm so lost because I don't want to loose him but I feel like I'm loosing myself... our relationship is amazing other than this one problem...

Having such a hard time coming to terms with the fact that at one point I was actually very pretty and now I'm not. I have had BDD pretty much since 16. Even though I didn't believe it, I was actually very pretty. People would tell me how pretty I was all the time. I look back at pictures and see that I really was a very attractive girl. I just didn't see it. Fast forward to now. I'm 42 years old and I am not pretty anymore. Not to where I used to be. I rarely get compliments anymore. I will get the occasional "you're pretty " comments but most of the attention I get is for my body. I have big boob's, big butt ,flat stomach (thanks to surgery) but other times I get negative comments on my appearance, when it comes to attractiveness of the face. The fact that I used to have what I want so bad right now is killing me. I keep trying to get back to that but I know I never will. So my question, is it better to have had beauty and lost it or never have it at all? I think it's so much harder to have had it and lost it. I keep ruminating over this and wishing I could rewind the time. . I'm chasing something unattainable now and it's making me crazy

At this point I am considering that it’s not my twisted brain but it’s that I AM ACTUALLY HORRIBLE

I am only 15. I am supposed to be enjoying life. But nah, it was all rigged from the beginning. From when I was treated like a inferior being for being short and skinny in early grades, to still being a short (5’6) in later grades that noone takes seriously. I feel terribly feminine. My frame is scrawny and it could have been good but my height robbed me of it and cursed me to look like a 10 year old FOREVER. it all could have been prevented if my parents aborted me when they found out my sex being male. With such genetics for me its just criminal to have a son. Just NO.

I am still skinny. I eat 4-6 times a day and I can’t count anymore how much times I nearly choked on food because I would force eat even when I am full just because the idea of remaining skinny extremely horrifies me. If I fail at overcoming my “smallness”, its gonna be the end of me. I will go crazy and just end it all day. I already have attempted once. Yet the consequences in light of all of this haven’t made me any less rejecting of the idea to finish my life prematurely.

So what if I am still growing? How is it gonna help that my dad is also small (5’4) and my mom is just barely over 5ft? Genetically I WILL always be like that. Chances are pretty high.

It’s ridiculous. Why am I considering taking steroids at 15, when my endocrine system is still growing and such stuff will destroy it? why are some guys are born looking like guys, while I have to take substances just to look like a MAN? I have been considering searching legitmate HGH suppliers and saving for it, while also learning how to accurately do skin injections. I am perfectly aware of all side effects, but no way no way I am staying like this my whole life. I. am. so. small. it’s. terribly. emasculating.

Yes I workout. I do all of this. But it’s not gonna help the elephant in the room. The only comment I ever get is that as a short guy I can get muscle easier. But trust me, I would rather be taller but slightly fat.

I want to inject test. I strongly believe I lack it. But I also realize it’s just gonna mess up everything and suppress natural production. But being a parody of a man doesn’t sound much better, either. It’s funny because at some points I have David Laid tier genetics.. except that Laid is around 6ft.

I don’t think I can go through life until my 40s with BDD, I will unalive myself before then, I’m terrified that I will end up alone because I don’t feel enough for a woman as the man that I currently am.

I reallycan’t put my mum through the pain but I want to end it so bad, my consciousness needs to be erased. My dad killed himself last year because of rejection and I think I have the same demons.

When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t like a single feature in my face, I swear, not a single one. But when I think about what surgeries and fillers I want to get, I don’t even know WHAT would make me look better because all my features are so bad that I can’t just get one thing done and it will make the rest of my face look good too because that’s what it’s usually like for people. They get one rhinoplasty and they’re set, the rest of their features look good before or even better after coupled with the new nose but not in my case. I quite literally would have to change everything and even that is limited or uncertain or temporary. I just want to look different. I want to look in the mirror and see a different person. Just imagining it gives me temporary peace followed by dread because I know it’s not achievable.

I really wanna relocate. Not for work, not for affordable living, but solely bc of how I look.

I just feel like my look isn’t appreciated where I live. No one looks like me, nor does anyone find me attractive. I really wanna move & hopefully that will solve the problem, but I’m honestly scared bc if I move & still nobody likes me, I don’t know what I’ll do…

CW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, and self-harm

I (22F) have had some type of body dysmorphia since I was about 9. The parts of insecurity I have change over the years and the amount of insecurity I have kind of goes up and down depending on stress and other factors.

Right now, I'm dealing with a lot of academic and personal stress and it's caused a lot of my insecurities to come back, particularly with my stomach. Even though I'm relatively active/healthy, I still feel like I'm too chubby (context, I'm about 4'11.5" and 118 lbs). Everyone keeps telling me that I look great, but I don't believe it. Even my doctor says that there's nothing wrong and I'm still in a normal weight range. But I still feel like I should be skinnier due to my height and the fact that my mom is the same height, but skinnier.

I was considered the "big sister" my whole life (family full of mostly small women + my mom's side being Asian and very open in terms of weight talk) and it really sucks because it feels like no matter how much I stay healthy or whatever, it's never enough. Even though I'm technically not the heavier one between my sister and stepsister anymore, the feeling's still there. I'm on meds for mental health, but have put on like 16 pounds in the span of a year and a half (102 >> 118 lbs) and feel worse in a lot of ways because of it. Even though people say that I'm good where I'm at, I don't feel that way and like they're all lying to me. I never even revealed the extent of how bad it is mentally except to my old therapist (used to have thoughts of killing myself at one point because of how I looked along with having 2 eating disorders in high school and self-harm habits) because I don't want people to worry or have them think I'm shallow or vain. That, and I don't want to make anyone insecure.

The thing is, the logical part of my brain is telling myself that I'm fine in the whole health aspect, but my emotional side is saying that I'm some weird grotesque monster. The thing is, even when I have lost weight either intentionally or not, I've still felt this way. I guess I'm just sick of letting this disorder get in the way of my social/dating and professional life. I'm too afraid to take photos of myself because of how big I think I look, I wear hoodies all the time because I think people are looking at me or talking about how much weight I've gained or lost, I don't date or even think of pursuing a sex life because I'm afraid that the partner will think I'm too insecure to be around and that I'm too big + I'm afraid of gaining too much weight from a relationship, my creative work suffers because of my anxiety and self-doubt, and I can never wear something that even shows a little bit of skin or is form-fitting without wanting to cover up because I'm afraid of how people will look at me.

I'm already autistic and bi with a whole slew of mental health stuff besides this, yet my body image is practically all I think about. Idk, I guess I'm sick of dealing with this for the 13th, nearly 14th, year in a row. I don't talk about weight and stuff to other people and never treat anyone differently because of it because I know how it makes me feel when I do that self-talk to myself.

Idk, do people ever get over this disorder? Like, for good?

Went out for halloween and was surrounded by naturally pretty women. Of course they got hit on while everyone ignored me. Wish I had that life.

being ugly literally robs the joy out of everything in life. I don’t care if “pretty people have insecurities too” at least they’re pretty. I’d rather be conventionally attractive and insecure than ugly and insecure and no one seems to get that.

The main thing that really pisses me off while also makes me want to cry my heart out about my appearance is simply just, why me? Why do so many people have to be born pretty and I have to be so unlucky that even looking in the mirror ruins my day and makes my appetite vanish into thin air?

Even if I can fix it with plastic surgery and what not it will always haunt me that I was born ugly. It will always be my identity even if I were to completely alter my looks and move to a whole different country and live as a new person I will always know that I was born ugly. Nothing would ever be enough and I don’t even want to have kids because the idea of passing down this deformed face of mine or any feature at all and having my child suffer through and feel what I’m feeling is terrifying to me and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

My obsession is more than just weight but I want to vent.

Antipsychotics made me extremely hungry and I try so hard to avoid food. I'm 5ft and went from 117 to 160 pounds. If I don't take them I'll be unstable but if I take them there's a high chance I'm going to gain more weight. I was just realeased from the mental hospital and I don't know what to do. I can't afford to stop taking them because I'm very unstable. Exercise and diet is very hard for me. I've already been bullied for being fat.

I’ve lost so many people because of my BDD and now I’m about to lose someone else just because i don’t want to show my face on live cam. I’m so lost in this life and I just don’t know what to do anymore and it feels like everything around me is just crumbling, I’ve had the worst day ever snd now I get a message saying “It's the end of the month, you're going to have to prove you are who you say you are.” And saying that I have until midnight or they’re cutting contact. I have nothing to hide but I don’t know why I can’t just bring myself to turn it on. This hurts me so, SO bad. I haven’t even known the person long but it’s just the fact that I have to deal with the situation and my biggest fear. Im I’m so hurt. I can’t do anything but cry today.

23F here. some background on myself: im a former cosplay and gaming content creator and was diagnosed with BDD in 2020. ive always hated social media and everything it stands for but when i got popular on it, it gave me a second source of income and it was where most of my friends wanted to communicate. so i stuck around for the past 4 years and created content and it slowly but surely destroyed my sense of self and 3 months ago i reached my breaking point. for the past 4 years ive been making content my appearance has been constantly torn to shreds, and i just couldnt handle it anymore. i ended up doing some pretty nasty physical damage to my own face and deleted all my apps except for reddit, since tbh i like using this place for looking up answers to niche questions 🤣. and i havent looked back. its been 3 months and i can honestly say that even though i still struggle with the BDD and eating disorder, i dont think about how i look NEARLY as much as i used to. dare i say its been….peaceful. i still have my moments where i catch my side profile in the mirror and i break down, but its nothing like before. im a firm believer that visual social media like instagram and tiktok in a way is designed to make us feel bad about ourselves, and im happy to be rid of one of my biggest triggers.

Having a crush on a boy is so hard when you’re so average or even below average looking, surrounded by literally gorgeous gorgeous girls. It’s almost like I don’t even have a chance. it makes me feel like i deserve to settle for less because that’s all my face could allow me. it also doesn’t help the fact that when it comes to dating or having a love interest, you need to put yourself out there. Post on social media, post yourself, send selfies etc. and basically just show yourself off. My love life is so so dry and I’m sick of it. I just want someone to love me even with all my flaws, be interested in me and find me attractive but there’s always going to be reminders of how i’m lesser than the other girls and my lover could drop me any second because of how i look.

I don’t really have pictures of myself and I don’t have the courage to even post myself because of how nervous and anxious it makes me feel. it’s almost like i don’t exist or have a digital footprint. I avoid photos, I avoid instagram and I feel so soulless and inadequate. I’m always scared of how people will perceive me and i can’t control how i want to be perceived, especially by people I want to be friends with or be with romantically. I think having a pretty face and body would’ve rid all of my problems because then everything I have to say will be worth listening to, everything i have to do will be worth appreciation and i can finally feel like the main character. even my pain would be aesthetic so

I just want to chop off these lumbs of fat on my chest and all my disgusting abdominal body fat and just be a skinny physically fucked up child I would feel so much better. I hate living.

I was cursed with these genetics, my chest has stolen every chance for me at a normal relationship. I hate being inferior. I just need a boob job asap

So my hubby is a sex addict, as you can imagine it's been very hard on my self esteem, he was addicted to porn while we were committed and that was a problem since he was only into the girls who dont look like me at all and now we are in an open relationship (it's complicated) but my self esteem plummets when he wants to hook up with these very pretty typically considered hot 10/10 women yet he says he views me as the most beautiful person in the world? I don't understand it, why would he look or want something else? He says he wants variety.. idk I'm just feeling awful right now and confused and I want to understand😵‍💫

And it’s not like they’re just thin they also have no shape to them. My philtrim is too long and my teeth don’t show when I talk or relax my lips. The only “compliment” people have about it is “omg you look like a renaissance painting” or “that look was so popular in the 1920’s” I don’t want to look like someone from the 1920s or a renaissance painting. The women in those paintings aren’t even that pretty anyways imo. I don’t want to look like a “cherub” or a “porcelain doll” I want a generic instagram face I don’t care. I want to be what is considered pretty NOW.

Join the body dysmorphia server on discord! If you ever feel like crap, want advice, and wanna vent you can come here. The mods won't ban people unfairly. the server just started :) https://discord.gg/yWavukPM

Ive felt at my lowest like 3/4 years ago ..and it's happening now again much worse, on top of feeling not enough and so low self esteem and seems like everyone has something figured out , nothing is working out for mee nothing literally.. I'm living such an empty life , I tried all the options that are available for me but I'm always incapable nor enough or it doesn't work in first place .

I am exhausted, I don't sleep well I lost so much weight , I'm so lost with my life

When I say I got nothing going on I mean nothing , family isn't family anymore , no friends jsut school mates (just 2) so during the day I talk to no one , no going out , I haven't bought new stuff or things I need in a while , low grades , declined social skills , no relationship ..

it's like I'm just existing atp , I never been like this even when I felt terrible back in the days .

And I am trying everything I can,but it surpasses me capacity .

Rant but I hate being uncurvy and having an oblong face, I look like an alien.

Big forehead, dead eyes, big nose but also having the body of a boy, with no curves or else.

I hate myself so much, why I had to be born with such shitty genetics.

I hate life.

i don't have to fear death, it sounds like a blessing if it means i never have to live with this face again. i can't wear what i want, can't post, can't do what makeup or hair i want, can't act the way i want, can't study, can't do certain things, can't live because i look like this.

i wonder if plastic surgery would even help at this point? my eyes are the ugliest so idk if any surgery will fix that. Edit: my nose and ugly side profile is the problem not eyes

i simply don't want to look like myself. idc how much attention i get or what i wear its not change the fact that i'm not pretty and have the most murderable face.

quietly waiting for my death

Like I’m talking 3-5, when I had a small nose and was just overall cute, like the little bit of fat was sweet. Then I was such an ugly fat kid with fucked up teeth, now I know I won’t be as pretty as I was, I feel so bad for her (my younger self) she deserved to grow up and be pretty

Trying to get through every single day is so painful

I’m filled with rage because of it. I don’t remember thinking my body or my face looked good, ever. Not a single time. I’ve always hated my looks and nothing feels like it’s enough.

i was on vacation with my partner & my partners sister last weekend. i got catcalled while we were out later at night.

out of nowhere, the sister goes "i don‘t get why this happens to you so much. no offense, and i don’t mean to be rude, but i just don‘t get it."

it‘s been on my mind since. my partner gets silent or tries to explain her behavior in ways that make no sense whenever i calmly bring up how it makes me feel. i also don‘t want to tell my friends because i‘m scared they‘ll suggest something bad about my appearance.

how do i get this off my mind? i know i‘m ugly. it just hurts to be reminded that other people are aware of it as well. i hate this so so so so so much