What Is BPD4BPD?

Please use this thread to discuss any feelings or emotions you are experiencing this week you would just like to get off your chest or discuss. Also feel free to discuss any coping strategies you may think others will find useful.

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

I was diagnosed with bpd in 2020 but struggled with the symptoms for a lot longer. I’ve always been such an empathetic person terrified of saying the wrong things to the people I care about. I’ve always prided myself on being a caring friend who puts others needs above my own, but I feel the exact opposite now. Idk if it’s a burnout or my co-occurring major depressive disorder but I really don’t give a fuck about anything anymore. I stopped checking in on my friends and leave the house 2 times a week max to get shopping. I’m so easily annoyed and can’t even be arsed validating complaints from my friends (which is really shitty because they do this for me) I just tell them to leave me alone. I’m not taking care of myself, managed to stay clean from drugs since August tho but I’m binge eating and chain smoking cigs out of pure boredom.

I don’t care if I lose everybody. I don’t care if everyone thinks badly about me I just want to lay in a dark room. I can’t take benzos for my crippling anxiety either because I’m recovering. I’m not proud of this but I’m so so very bitter. Even angry. Watching everyone in my life continue as normal while I’m at one of my worst points. I know this isn’t a healthy mindset but it’s just not fair. I’m so alone yet I have no desire to make a change. I feel like my brain is sabotaging me. I’m so far from the 2023 version of myself where I was committed to dbt/mbt and on the road to recovery. It’s really sad to see myself spiral like this and not be able to stop

My paranoia sucks atm too and intrusive thoughts aren’t being managed very well.

My current medication regime is- 70mg elvance (or vyvance) 20mg olanzapine 200mg lamotrigine 20mg propranolol 3x a day I’m also prescribed 50mg amitriptyline a night but I only take it as a prn basis as the muscle relaxant effect is a bit too much for me long term

I also supplement magnesium biglycenate, cod liver oil, vitamin c and vitamin d.

If anything this year has taught me is that I’m stronger than I think and any day (even a day laying in bed doing nothing feeling sad) is a win as long as I stay alive.

I’m proud of you all for pushing through you are all warriors. Thanks for allowing me to offload I’m going to take a nap now and hopefully I wake up feeling more positive

Please use this thread to discuss anything and everything you got up to this weekend. What accomplishments or goals did you achieve, or what did you try or give a go; no matter how big or small? What did you struggle with? Feel free to discuss any experiences you had this weekend, anything that may assist someone else or just to talk about!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

basically in the title. i miss having an FP soooo much. I actually think im going insane without one. Who am I if not attached to somebody else? It’s been almost 1.5 years now without one. I should be celebrating this as a sign of my recovery but I fear it’s making me so lonely.

Please use this thread to discuss what you are planning to get up too on the weekend or how you're week in general went. If there is something you would like to get off your chest or discuss before the weekend begins then feel free below. If you have done something fun or accomplished something this week share your experience!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss any feelings or emotions you are experiencing this week you would just like to get off your chest or discuss. Also feel free to discuss any coping strategies you may think others will find useful.

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss anything and everything you got up to this weekend. What accomplishments or goals did you achieve, or what did you try or give a go; no matter how big or small? What did you struggle with? Feel free to discuss any experiences you had this weekend, anything that may assist someone else or just to talk about!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss what you are planning to get up too on the weekend or how you're week in general went. If there is something you would like to get off your chest or discuss before the weekend begins then feel free below. If you have done something fun or accomplished something this week share your experience!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Why the fuck is it that I'm trying to heal and understand myself the world is getting hostile around me? Why does everything have to fall apart?

How am I supposed to feel safe in this world if there's a bunch of bigots running the country and how am I supposed to feel safe in my body if we propagating all this sexist bullshit?

I'm trying to fucking heal. I want to fall in love again. Not be shamed for my feelings and my fucking humanity. But nooooo you're stupid if you're lonely and listen to your feelings it's your fault if you get used and abused

I'm trying to overcome my trust issues and find community. I'm trying to move on from my abusive situation but now it just looks like with the economy and everything else I'll be "worse off" possibly traumatized even more

Ughhhh Why is it so "pick me" huh when love and intimacy is a part of the hierarchy of needs you cant medicate me out of that. You can't pray that away. I just want to be happy in this world I don't want to be stuck in survival mode anymore

I want to let my guard down I'm sick of this

Like literally the only two people who even talk to me consistently in this world are men yet it's like oh don't talk to them don't trust them

Ughhhhhhhh

Please use this thread to discuss any feelings or emotions you are experiencing this week you would just like to get off your chest or discuss. Also feel free to discuss any coping strategies you may think others will find useful.

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss anything and everything you got up to this weekend. What accomplishments or goals did you achieve, or what did you try or give a go; no matter how big or small? What did you struggle with? Feel free to discuss any experiences you had this weekend, anything that may assist someone else or just to talk about!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Ok, so my partner (35M) and I(30F) have been on and off for 5 years now. When we've been together, it's been great. He basically broke it off because of his mental health issues.

We got back together on great terms, but his circumstances are super complicated and loaded rn. We can barely speak, and I feel like I haven't spoken with him in weeks. This is both because of his work and other personal reasons. Now, this is causing my BPD to really act up, to the point where I'm disconnecting from everything around me, my anxiety is peaking, I'm smoking so much more, and I'm cocooning from all my friends.

His mental health is a little shit rn, he's just super depressed and anxious all the time. I really want to be there for him and I don't know how. I asked him how I could be there for him and he said he didn't know, so here I am, with internet fellow-BPD strangers. Help, please?

Please use this thread to discuss what you are planning to get up too on the weekend or how you're week in general went. If there is something you would like to get off your chest or discuss before the weekend begins then feel free below. If you have done something fun or accomplished something this week share your experience!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

For almost 3 years Ive actively been working on myself as an individual with bpd. Ive been managing my therapy appointments and psychiatry. I have been honest about the faults in myself and confronted them. I have overcome some of my worst traits and have learned to understand what it was like to be in his shoes. So why. And how could he look at me like I was nothing to him... my heart shattered and I truly understood that this time. I was really alone again.

Im surrounded by him, everyday and every moment. I have his cat and the kitten we got. My bedroom is made of things that were once his or gifted to me by him. The chair I sit in at my desk still reminds me of him. The blankets. The pillows. My tvs. Even my cell phone as Im typing this. My pots and pans. My music playlists.

How am I to move on, when everthing I do, traces back to you?

How am I to move on, when my clothes I have were bought by you?

I am where I am. Because of you.

Did you helping me get here make you lose yourself too much, that I couldnt be in your life?

You always said I would never be fully out of your life and yet.. here we are.

Youre a liar..

But you are also so kind.

The worst is I want to hate you, I really do. I want to despise you. I want to say, How dare you do this me? But the problem is, I know. I understand. I cannot blame you, if I was you I would done the same but earlier.

I hurt you and now youve hurt me. I guess we are even. But this really wasnt how it was supposed to be..

I'm sorry. I wish I could go back. I wish I had done the smallest of things differently. Im sorry. ❤️

Goodbye J. Thank you. For the first and last time, I love you so much.

I know we all know it is not just bpd. Likely we have mannnny other Ds...MDD, CPTSD, GAD, OCD, ADD, FMD*. Efu me. What else you got? Bring it now because i am not dealing with this horror show in another life. I made it this far by absolutley clawing and scraping my way back up cliffs that were never so high as when i jumped off them. Lesson...love self, express self, be self, and be the love and acceptance you long for in others. No one is coming to validate you. I run the Victim-card and trump, bluff, and all-in my way without abandon every time. Do not invite me to a match without being ready for a pain you have never known. You will lose one way or the other. It might be in pain, it might be in defeat, it might even be in love, but i know you will not win when it comes to me. I am always all in... I'll run it to the end... my only friend, the end. Can i get a life lesson of being accepted, understood, and some little bit of confirmation that iam just a little loveable? I am always in the way, the cause when things aren't what they expected.

I also have to acknowledge that special little extra we all get. Likely a lively sprinkling of alcoholism and addiction, abuse and blame, narcissists and codependents....and the ever so special continual reitterance of you are not enough, you may be too much, but you are not enough where it counts.

Please use this thread to discuss any feelings or emotions you are experiencing this week you would just like to get off your chest or discuss. Also feel free to discuss any coping strategies you may think others will find useful.

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss anything and everything you got up to this weekend. What accomplishments or goals did you achieve, or what did you try or give a go; no matter how big or small? What did you struggle with? Feel free to discuss any experiences you had this weekend, anything that may assist someone else or just to talk about!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

I’m wondering what an episode of splitting feels like for you? Are you ever able to recognize when it’s coming and use coping/dbt skills to avoid a full episode of splitting?

When you experience a bpd episode is it always rage or do you experience deep sadness and panic also? Do you have panic and fear paired with dissociation?

I was diagnosed this year and have been trying to figure everything out. I’ve been symptomatic for many years but only recently diagnosed. I’m trying to learn words for things so I can put a term to something I’m experiencing.

Please use this thread to discuss what you are planning to get up too on the weekend or how you're week in general went. If there is something you would like to get off your chest or discuss before the weekend begins then feel free below. If you have done something fun or accomplished something this week share your experience!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss any feelings or emotions you are experiencing this week you would just like to get off your chest or discuss. Also feel free to discuss any coping strategies you may think others will find useful.

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss anything and everything you got up to this weekend. What accomplishments or goals did you achieve, or what did you try or give a go; no matter how big or small? What did you struggle with? Feel free to discuss any experiences you had this weekend, anything that may assist someone else or just to talk about!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

curious if others in this community find they often attract a specific type of person — emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, but attracted to and threatened by emotional availability? I had this experience recently where I reached out to someone I had connected with briefly on a dating app but never met up with. When we reconnected he told me that he’d never connected with anyone as quickly as with me, and we made plans to meet up, but he cancelled on me and the messages started to get less and less frequent. The first night we talked, we sexted and it really felt like we connected again, but after that we’d only argue about our communication and he kept telling me I was difficult to deal with. When I accused him of only enjoying chatting when it was about sex he said, “I wouldn’t put up with half the things you’ve put me through for sex” he also has a history of trauma and admits he can be cold/avoidant and not very communicative, but I felt like we both really triggered each other. We had a big argument and he ended up blocking me and it really really hurt. It’s so hard with bpd to tell what’s real and what’s in your head and if we have normal reactions to things. What I want to know here is, is it wrong to want good communication or am I expecting/asking for too much?

Please use this thread to discuss what you are planning to get up too on the weekend or how you're week in general went. If there is something you would like to get off your chest or discuss before the weekend begins then feel free below. If you have done something fun or accomplished something this week share your experience!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss any feelings or emotions you are experiencing this week you would just like to get off your chest or discuss. Also feel free to discuss any coping strategies you may think others will find useful.

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss anything and everything you got up to this weekend. What accomplishments or goals did you achieve, or what did you try or give a go; no matter how big or small? What did you struggle with? Feel free to discuss any experiences you had this weekend, anything that may assist someone else or just to talk about!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss what you are planning to get up too on the weekend or how you're week in general went. If there is something you would like to get off your chest or discuss before the weekend begins then feel free below. If you have done something fun or accomplished something this week share your experience!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

. . My youngest cousin, has always been very moody and random outbursts or tantrums from a young age 4 . I noticed when I visited them for vacation that when the kids acted out even the smallest thing would upset my uncle and he usually he would lash out or react with anger and verbal abuse, the way he treated them always upset me and a reason I stopped wanting to visit him. She expressed to me a few times that he has hit her as well . Is it possible that she developed BPB from abuse ? She is almost 17 now and I once in a while chat with her about her home life and how she wants to leave She has been suicidal in the past and they have put her in 72 hour psychiatric hold, during that time she was Put on Ativan . They expressed to me recently that my uncle and their mom hasn’t listened to her at all and refuses to take responsibility for the way they treated them growing up as kid and said it’s not their fault the way they behaved and act and that it’s all just BPD . In the past I tried to say to the mom that she needs help and is basically crying out for help from her actions and right away was shot down saying “ oh it’s just a act for attention. “ I suggested therapy that it could help . They got her a counselling but my uncle believes it’s a waste of time and is doing nothing . They currently on Fluoxetine clonidine and 2 others. During the hold she had they gave her Ativan and ( said it was the best she felt with anxiety ever) and suggested that to him and he refused and said I don’t want you to get addicted . Also has stated “ oh it’s just anxiety it will go away . Instead said a treatment centre would be better for her . All she has expressed is how she wants to leave the house or has had suicidal thoughts .

Over the last summer she started smoking weed to help her and they recently told her that the weed is addictive and made her stop . I really feel bad for her as she is the baby cousin and going thru all at home . I just really want to help and do something. Who is to blame the parents or the BPD . There is only so much I can do from a different place but it hurts my heart seeing someone go through so much . Would therapy fix this would the medication she wants work . Any advice helps . Sorry for the long message.

Please use this thread to discuss any feelings or emotions you are experiencing this week you would just like to get off your chest or discuss. Also feel free to discuss any coping strategies you may think others will find useful.

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Please use this thread to discuss anything and everything you got up to this weekend. What accomplishments or goals did you achieve, or what did you try or give a go; no matter how big or small? What did you struggle with? Feel free to discuss any experiences you had this weekend, anything that may assist someone else or just to talk about!

Reminder to please keep the discussion within the rules in the sidebar. Peace friends. Take care.

Hey guys, I'm looking for some advice on how to ease my insecurity. I know what the majority of comments will be - talks about therapy and things being "out of my control" etc but i'm just hoping for one comment to resonate and help me because i'm really struggling at the moment.

I'm diagnosed BPD and over time, i'd like to say i've seen a lot of improvement in myself even if it is slow. I'm aware of the stigma that we have but i'm truly trying to get better for myself, my family, friends and my partner. It's so difficult having to live with such intense insecurity and instability so please be sensitive to that in the comments before calling me a liar or a narcissist. I love and feel things deeply which although puts me at detriment some times, I have come to see as a blessing.

My father was abusive growing up, emotionally and physically. This reflected in alot of my past relationships, i've been hyper sexual, have dealt with drug problems ( I'm now 2 years clean ), i've dealt with extreme anger and intense emotions, relationships and breakdowns yet i've finally met the one. He makes me feel safe, loved, secure, understood and meets every single one of my needs without hesitation. Even with my BPD i fail to fault him and encourage myself to be a better person and reach out for help - even resorting to reddit - just so i can be better for myself and our relationship.

He's going to LA for 2 weeks with his friends. Now this is difficult as it is for someone who's incredibly insecure but also his friends being people who have cheated in the past. E.g. one friend went round a bar hitting on as many girls as possible with his girlfriends name tattooed on his hand and told the girls it was his "dead dog". Although this friend is not going with him, it worries me that these are the people he surrounds himself with. He had to iced me with tonnes of reassurance and out communication is so healthy - in our whole 7 months of being together i've never heard him raise his voice at me. He is beyond patient, he gives me gifts, time, love and energy. I'm just so scared that when he goes away he'll cheat on me because he knows i won't find out seen as he's abroad. Whether it's out of my control or not i cannot help worrying, if i voice it to him he'll complain that i'm giving him an earful for something he's not done but if i don't it'll eat me up inside for weeks.

We've had problems sexually the last few weeks aswell - he struggles to stay hard 20% of the time i'd say. This makes me feel super insecure and i believe he's not attracted to me. I know all these thoughts are irrational but they all contribute to the fear that hell cheat on me and it's eating me up inside. I've improved on my communication, we rarely argue, i've accepted that he's going away, i don't check his phone, i'm clean from drugs. All of this may sound like the expected to "normal" people but anyone with BPD will know this is a big acheivment.

I don't want to lose him and i'm still trying to better myself not only for my sake but also for our relationships. I just need some genuine advice from people on how to get over personal insecurities (looks) and relationship insecurities. I hope you all have a blessed day <3