“We have..uh…a religious festival.”

My legions will work in the wall

My legions will work in the wall

So build the wall, wall wall, build the wall, wall wall

Build the wall, wall wall, Make it higher

 "Drunk Ancient History '' is pretty much the same as regular Drunk History but instead focuses on events in Ancient History (3000 BC – 500 AD) as well as legends and folktales. A drunk person tries to explain a story with comedians and actors trying to reenact stuff and say and do whatever the narrator wants. 

1. Episode 1

• Socrates (ft. Jonah Hill as Socrates)
• The Four Brothers & The Hyenas
• The Assassination Of Julius Caesar (ft. Adam Scott as Brutus)

1. Episode 2

• Caligula (ft. John Mulaney as Caligula)
• White Buffalo Calf Woman  
• The Battle Of Thermopylae  

1. Episode 3

• Boudica (ft. Diane Morgan as Boudica)
• Abba Bukkush (ft. Kenan Thompson as Abba Bukkush)
• Lady Six Sky (ft. Vicci Martinez as Lady Six Sky) 

1. Episode 4

• The Bantu Migration (ft. Ayo Ederbiri)
• The Hopewell Exchange
• Ezana Of Axum (ft. Jaden Smith as Ezana)

1. Episode 5

• Alexander The Great (ft. Aaron Paul as Alexander The Great)
• Hannibal’s Crossing Of The Alps
• The Trung Sisters (ft. Awkwafina and Haley Tju as the Trung Sisters) 

1. Episode 6

• The Story Of Jesus
• The Crown Prince
• Pacal the Great (ft. Pedro Pascal as Pacal The Great) 

1. Episode 7

• The Poor Fisherman and His Wife (ft. Olivia Rodrigo as Fisherman’s Wife)
• The story of Abraham 
• The Adventures of an Indian Brave

1. Episode 8

• Moses (ft. Lil Nas X as Moses)
• The Queen Of Sheba
• The Lost Woman 

1. Episode 9

• The Decline Of The Classical Mayan Period
• The Bell Beaker People
• Arion (horse)

1. Episode 10

• Qin Shi Huang (ft. Simu Liu as Qin Shi Huang)
• Candaules
• The singer Arion's ride on the dolphin (ft. Michael Cera as Arion)

1. Episode 11

• Hatshepsut (ft. May Calamawy as Hatshepsut)
• Battle of the Eclipse
• Attila The Hun (ft. Ken Jeong as Attila)

1. Episode 12

• Cyrus The Great
• The Peloponnesian War
• Menes

1. Episode 13

• The Boy Who Was Saved by Thoughts
• The Phoenicians Creation Of The Alphabet 
• Confucius (ft. Simu Liu as Confucius)

Ancient Rome

(A Roman's leg is being waxed)

Roman 1: (screaming in pain) By Jupiter's cock! That wax is hotter than Hades's bitch

Roman 2: (holding the waxing stick) Hold still, Gaius. No need for such bitching and moaning.

Roman 1: Easy for you to say, Titus. You try having your fucking legs waxed!

(Ancient Greece)

(Two Greeks are at a stadium)

Greek 1: (booing loudly) Boo! You call that a javelin throw? I've seen better aim from a blind fucking Cyclops!

Greek 2: Yeah, and your chariot driving skills are worse than a drunken Satyr!

Greek 1: Boo! You're shit. Get out of the fucking stadium.

(Ancient Egypt)

Egyptian 1: (haggling with a merchant) This price is as ridiculous as a one-eyed Sphinx! I won't pay a scarab shit more!

Egyptian 2: Oh, Ra's eye! Just buy it already and stop fucking moaning!

(Nubians battling Axumites)

Nubian Soldier: (engaged in combat) Watch your back, you Axumite ass! I'll send you out of Meroe in a basket!

Axumite Soldier: You'll need more than that spear, you Nubian goat fuckers! Come and get me, if you have the stones! I'm going to blaze Meroe and get some fuck you money so fuck you.

Nubian Soldier: Fuck... you.

(Mayan City)

Mayan 1: (frustrated) Ah, for the love of the maize gods! Why won't this temple stone fit?

Mayan 2: Because you're as useful as a headless serpent, that's why!

Mayan 1: "headless serpent"? Are you describing me or my dick.

Mayan 2: Don't lie. Admit it - you fuck inside the temple.

Mayan 1: You don't?

(Assyrian battle)

Assyrian: I WILL END YOU! I WILL FUCKING END YOU! BURN IN HELL! HAAAAAAAAAAA.

https://preview.redd.it/xdzcomtp43wc1.png?width=1647&format=png&auto=webp&s=355a1b0af1f37c8edd2e9784b24853a1311734dd

I watched this movie and I think it has something special, quite universal but also nicely explains it.
https://youtu.be/Acxmpy_UUEM

Thoughts and prayers.