Do you have to be a bottom of the barrel drunk for AA to work for you? I keep hearing that you have to be like homeless and living under a bridge rock bottom or AA won’t work? Any truth to this? I’m not “rock bottom.” I have a job, house, family but I’m concerned. Thank you.

I’ve been looking at AA zoom meeting or anything only can’t really leave my house as much , someone hit me up and told me host meeting twice a week, he said it’s $50 for entry and $10 per session, is this Normal?

I’m off to see my cousin in Milton Keynes next weekend. I’ve not drank all year. And he’s just said ‘are you not having a drink?’ I said ‘no I don’t drink anymore’ and he said ‘that’s a shame’ I said ‘why’ and he said ‘it just is’. I’m fuming 😡 why is it a shame I don’t drink. It’s made me feel rubbish and like I’m not good enough sober. So much so I don’t want to go anymore. How on earth do I reply to that!?! It’s annoyed me and upset 😭 I’ve not drank since 1st January and not planning to again. Especially seeing work colleagues at our Xmas do this week hammered! That used to be me 🤦🏽‍♀️😬. Sorry to rant. Needed it off my chest.

I need help, I haven't had a drink in 889 days on June 22 I received my two year chip. A couple of months back I was injured at work and my wife had me try something she uses called kratom. I didn't do any research or due dillagence on it and took it. Now I don't feel sober I recognize the pattern the usage of the stuff has been following it's the same as my drinking. I was supposed to go back home for Thanksgiving. I missed my flight last night and my wife and I got in a blow out fight with talks of divorce this morning on the way back to the airport. I haven't felt this way in over a year about being around the airport bars. I feel like if i have to turn my two year chip in over the stupid kratom what does it matter if i have a beer here, after all im resetting my date. I know it's just a date but it bothers me that I'm surrendering this time and never actually drank as dumb as that sounds. I know in my heart that having a drink won't permently solve anything and have tried playing the tape out in my head but I have the overwhelming feeling in my chest to get a beer. I've tried calling my sponsor as well as multiple people in my home group and haven't been able to get a hold of anyone.

Father Martin gives an excellent talk on gratitude and what it really means.

https://youtu.be/65lWeWu-Mpo?si=9trEsqoRTrpIIMRq

I don't think I've necessarily relapsed, but I'm angry as fuck at myself. The context is that I hadn't slept for three days and I'm moving in 6 hours. Last night I basically drank to pass out. I woke up ashamed of everything that happened. One of the main reasons I stopped drinking is that I'm exceptionally messy when drunk. Thankfully that didn't happen this time, but I still wasn't "neat". All I can think now is that I could've dealt with not being able to sleep. It would've eventually came. I'm not going to drink again, I won't allow myself, but the fact that I did allow myself to is just infuriating.

Drinking ruined my life and im so fkn fed up dude. I lost so many freinds and family because of it I went to rehab twice in the process of going back. I been drinking since I was 12 and im 30now I could never keep a fukn job Could never keep a relationship more than a couple months. You know when I was younger I was like im punk I dont give a fuck and thought it was cool. But man that way of thinking really fucked me and not in the good way. Im fucking miserable so I drink I pass out wake up feeling like shit cuz I drank so I fukn drink again to numb that misery its such a fucked up vicious circle man. I had so much money dude from income taxes and in a couple months man I blew 20k im so fucking dumb man I fucking hate it. I dont even know if my post is permited I just had to let it out. Fuck

I'm 31, and just recently got sober. When I was a teen, I would get high every holiday. When I got older, I would get drunk and high every holiday. Holidays for my family were just times to drink all day. Morning to night - everyone just drank.

When I moved away and decided to spend holidays alone, this got bad, and I would be as out of it as I could for any holiday. I sort of hate these days, especially now that I spend them alone, and getting messed up became the only way I could get through them.

I'm just over a month sober, and this will be my first Thanksgiving and holiday season sober.

Feels good. Feels ... a bit anxious?

My friend is drinking again and claims they have cured their alcoholism. If you are a recovering addict what did someone say to you that stuck with you? Did someone call you out in your lies and it stuck with you? How did they do it?

This will be a long rant if you feel like reading. I’m 25 months sober, and I am seriously considering drinking again. I go to a lot of meetings, have a sponsor, talk on the phone to other AA’s just about everyday, pray, do steps, etc. I like the friends I’ve made in AA, my girlfriend is kind of sober (she doesn’t drink but is not in AA), and my family knows I’m sober. It’s hard for me to tell my network this cause I really just want to drink and not be judged but I also don’t want to drink. Life just still sucks so much. I’m in a tremendous amount of debt and can’t afford to get out of my living situation I don’t like. My job is terrible and I just feel like I have no options in life. I’m in my 30’s and just feel like I’m not worth trying to make my life better and the thought of drinking just to get through is sounding better and better each day. I’m just really not doing okay and I don’t even know how to ask for help or even what I need. I’ve felt so trapped for so long.

I attend a closed women's meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous every week, and have done so for about 6 months. It's a reasonably big meeting, usually 20-30 women, which is unsurprising as it's the only women's meeting in the area. The women who attend this meeting consider it a refuge; a place of sisterhood and support in the face of our shared struggle with alcohol.

The meeting format is a rotation, with a step study on the first Tuesday of each month, birthdays on the second, traditions on the third, and chair's choice on the 4th. In months with 5 Tuesdays however, we have a potluck on the 3rd Tuesday, and a single speaker.

Tonight, at our business meeting, one item on the agenda was to determine the speaker for December. The meeting's secretary was the first to offer a suggestion, and her suggestion was the one transgender woman within the core home group members. The trans woman does not share much, a fact she claims is due to not liking the somewhat masculine sound of her own voice. She is 23 years sober, middle aged, and only a couple years into her transition.

No one voiced any objection, and several people stated affirmation of the suggestion, which the trans woman accepted. So she is going to tell us her story of experience, strength and hope.

For the record, I believe trans women are women, and I am looking forward to it. I am concerned however that within the current political climate where the existence of trans people seems to have become debatable, that giving her the podium for 45 minutes might stoke divisions in my refuge.

How worried should I be?

Yeah I’ve screwed up every weekend for the last month. But thanks to god AA is there and I have hope. The sleepless nights, the muddled thinking are all part of the process. Today 3 days sober I’m at least motivated and just really enjoy being me, the house is clean I’ve said my prayers and dinner is ready to eat, oh not to mention the bank account is steady. I had no hope before AA really, no people to look up to and forward to seeing. I’m in love!

I recently learned I was an alcoholic (14M) thanks to you guys in a past post. But im afraid of having to watch a friend do the same mistakes as me. hes 14 too, today he drank a shot before work, and 2 shots when he learned his mom was gonna make him study until midnight. He skips class, sleeps in class but still has good grades, he drinks 2 times a week. what the fuck am I supposed to do, it hurts so much to have to watch somebody youve known for 10 years, do the same exact mistakes as you, he never has time for himself, always either working, at school or studying.

HELP, how can I help him, I mentionned AA to him and he said sure, but im not sure if thats too drastic.

I came across this forum, and my heart broke reading some stories. It broke because I see so much of my fiancee in many of them. I can here in hopes to gain some knowledge and maybe some answers to things I’ve been desperately searching for.

I’ve been with my fiancée for 4 years, he was 4 months sober when we initially started dating and I remember thinking and saying to him maybe that was way too soon for him. But we hit it off so well, we continued anyway. He stayed sober for 2 years. Then things began to plummet fast. He was losing jobs, no car, he was already dealing with a DWI charge, just one thing after another. I became a primary care taker for him. Just getting him to places he needed to be, getting him jobs through friends of mine, trying to push him into healthy directions, but not forcefully…if he would mention something he wanted to do as far as getting sober or therapy or AA I’d jump right on board and help him. He’s been in and out countless times, desperately trying to get back on track, I see he tries. Unfortunately this last year he’s become violent while drinking. I’ve been hurt several times. Yet ive stayed, when he’s come out of those drunken states sometimes he remember pieces and he just cry’s about the things he’s done to me, and asks why I stay, and I told him loving someone is a choice and I believe in him.

I really really love this man. Sober him, was the most incredible human, my best best friend.

recently his behavior while drunk got me kicked out of my home, which destroyed my business because that’s where I run it from, he also hit me so hard he knocked my jaw out of alignment and it needed to be reset.I lost almost everything in the matter of a day due to his drinking. I’ve never ever called the cops on him, but I decided I needed to. He’s currently in jail and the charges are pretty bad, he’s on probation so he’s going to be violated. My heart is absolutely broken.

I felt this was the only way he would ever wake up if there’s a chance for him too. It’s unfortunate, if he got it together years from now and came to find me, I’d take him back. He’s an incredible soul.

I’ll just never know if I’ve done the right thing,…was I wrong? Did I just betray my best friend? I know the things he was doing were wrong they were so wrong, but I know this is a sickness. I feel extremely lost. I just want him to be well and happy and live a full life of good things outside of drinking.

Hello hoping there’s people who can maybe give me some insight and help. I’m 6 days sober today but I’ve been in and out of rehabs and AA since 2020. Honestly I would say my main substance of choice is marijuana which I feel addicted to and crave. Alcohol is more that I just have a bad reaction to it when I do drink (very bad like I think I hallucinate and go into a psychosis or something which I never hear anyone else ever speak on unfortunately) and recently got my second DUI (first one was 5 years ago). I’ve had some long term sobriety before, had a sponsor, commitments at meetings, managed a sober home and work in a rehab now. I started the steps before but never finished, I honestly don’t get the point of them? Relationships with people in AA and my sponsors always felt so forced. I feel like I actually have a resentment towards AA itself because I didn’t receive what I felt like it promised but see other people doing really well with it. I always feel so awkward and judged and they give me the same vibe as the church like “do as I say or burn in hell” but at the same time I feel like I want to try it again and finish the steps even though I just really don’t get what it’s for? I would say I’m a self aware person who reflects on myself and my life constantly, I love myself, make amends immediately when I know I’ve done wrong because that’s just who I naturally am and I definitely believe in god, always have, always will. It’s just been pounded into me so hard that I have to do this thing because apparently there is something wrong with me?

Hi I've been going to 12 step meetings for a long while, and I currently have 17 months sober. I find it very difficult to connect with people and form friendships. I have spent time with some people, went out for coffee a couple times and even invited one guy to my place to watch a movie. But despite this the friendliness doesn't seem to reciprocate. People get together after meetings and on weekends, but I'm not invited. I wish I was a newcomer again, at least that way I could have people actually want to talk to me.

Hey all I (35M) have been sober seven years this month. I had surgery today and I was prescribed an oral rinse called Cholrhexidine Gluconate, USP.

I'm waiting until the morning to use it, (substituted with salt water and aloe vera) when I can call my doctor and ask for medical advice, the rinse is 11.6% isopropyl alcohol. I have Never run into this situation before. Am I over thinking it? What experiences have those of you in recovery had when it comes to monitoring unsuspecting sources of consumption?

Thank you all for reading, stay safe and remember your loved ones.

I’ve been sober for a year now and I’ve finished with the 12 steps in Marijuana Anonymous. I’m moving cities where I’d prefer to have a sponsor who is local. With AA being more common I was going to look for a sponsor within the AA community seeing as I already frequent more AA meetings than MA meetings, and I have read the big book. Will I have to re-do the 12 steps if I switch?

(Sorry in advance if this is a stupid question)

I don’t think I’ve suffered like this on my other stints of quitting. I am just so sick of myself. I spent a year out of the rooms, not as a daily drinker, but a binge drinker.

I believed I was an alcoholic before, but I didn’t believe all the AA jargon. Now I finally see it and I’m annoyed that I had to publicly embarrass myself on Friday night to get here. I’m worried about more repercussions emerging over the week. I never really hit a rock bottom before, and I could say that in meetings too… I just said “drinking scares me and I want to stop.” Well now I hope I never have to get any lower. I went to a meeting yesterday and another one today. Just kind of scared today because my two max sobriety times were 3 and 6 months. But AA did work for me for those months.

Was just in a zoom AA meeting.

Someone shared who was in their first 24 hours. She was rambling and taking like she knew exactly what she was getting herself into bc she had ‘done the whole AA thing before’. She was clearly having lightweight withdrawals - she couldn’t sit still or quit her agitated movements. She wouldn’t stop talking and share the floor.

And there I was just as irritated by her as I could be. It was in very short order that I left the meeting in a twist.

And I know exactly why my character defects are in full bloom tonight: my spiritual fitness is barely there.

This is only my third meeting back after being gone from AA for 2.5 yrs. Haven’t had a drink yet, but am in a super rough patch on life and I just felt the foundation wobbling.

So here I am. Seeing all my ugliness painted all over all my interactions.

And so it goes. Thank god for AA.

When you were in early sobriety, or even now, what did you do to change problem habits/other addictions?

I still struggle with bad habits that are problematic for me professionally and in my relationships. I recognize these things need to change, but the compulsion to go back to the same things is very strong. In my case it’s video games. I’ve made promises to stop time and time again but sooner or later there I am playing games in company time and lying about it to my wife.

Wife’s fed up and wants me out.

How do I approach changes to these behaviors? Do I lump them in with all the other addictions?

I began drinking senior year of high school. I remember hanging out with this girl a lot and I didn’t really like her . I figured I’d share some mikes hard lemonades over it . I had a fake Id that some of my older friends had given me in order to get into clubs where I would drink under age. My drinking really took off when I was 18 years old and for the next 20 years, I drank here and there on and off where I could get my hands on some sort of alcohol. I really didn’t think that I had a problem, but my disease got progressively worse. No one forced me to drink, but alcoholism, was everywhere around me. I must’ve figured good at some point that I was going to keep into peer pressure. I guess I got tired. I mean I was 18 years old. I didn’t even know peer pressure was if I knew then what I know now things would’ve been way different , I don’t know why, but I always seem to find myself in a crowd with older people. They always busted my balls about something. Prom happened and somehow I ended up going to prom with some of the college people from work. I always wanted to be older than I was. I had a boyfriend who was in college figured OK what the heck. I didn’t really know what alcohol was until I drankduring prom. Well after that, it was pretty much off to the races. I discovered alcohol and I was gonna drink it sometimes more sometimes less sometimes in moderation sometimes here sometimes there only a special occasion. Some of my family members drank it . It’s a worldwide disease. I never really really liked alcohol. I just always thought that if I didn’t drink it, I was gonna be ostracized from society, shunned. I don’t blame myself for picking up the first drink. What the fuck that I know i was dumb and young. Life happened for me the way it did . I had no control over my drinking at the time. I seriously thought it was a normal part of life. Come to find out there’s another way about four years ago. I’ve come to realize is acceptance. Addiction comes in many forms shapes and sizes. For example, some days I’m able to eat food and moderation and drink, coffee and moderation and have my cigarette and moderation and other times. It’s like I’m doing everything extra. I can go from high to Lowes small things to big things. It’s like I’ve developed this spectrum of how my brain works. I’m a know it all and I guess part of my alcoholism was like my scientific approach to study like some sort of researcher. The biggest issue in my life right now is my father. I can’t figure him out. We have a good relationship and that I don’t comment is drinking. He doesn’t comment on my smoking cigarettes, alcohol and cigarettes. He has an occasional beer and I’ll have an occasional cigarette. If he sees me cigarettes, more than usual, he’ll definitely comment on it. For that im actually grateful. I’m not big on AA. I appreciate that from time to time but AA is like a never-ending story, much like this one. I’m just so tired of the disease of alcoholism that I have from my past. It seems to come back and haunt me every now and then. Depends on who I talk to I guess. I don’t consider my father to be an alcoholic like myself he seems perfectly normal and stable to me . If anything I’m the crazy one . To be fair , I’m an adult child of alcoholism dysfunction and chaos , of divorced parent and constant stress anxiety and fear . I love my parents but it’s time to bring back focus onto my recovery again.

Hello all.

I writing this in search of… well I’m not sure what I’m trying to accomplish by putting this out there. But it just feels good I guess to put it out in the universe for some advice/help from anyone who is or has struggled with the same thing that I am currently going through.

I am slowly coming to terms with that I have a significant problem with alcohol. And it has seemed to intensify in the last year, and I fear the last decade of binge drinking has caught up with not only my physical, but mental health.

Growing up I was popular, a good athlete, and drinking was and always has been the focal point in which my friends and family made plans around, and drinking/fine dining is very much a massive part of culture of the area I grew up and still live in.

Sure I went through some trauma in my mid twenties of losing a best friend, which I feel is a massive part of my current drinking problem, among other things like financial stress, lack of a careee path etc, but like I said earlier, the problem has seemed to intensify dramatically within the last year. I cannot just have a couple beers, one beer leads to six sometimes 10 on the weekends. I drink to get rid of hangovers, which’s leads to this seemingly endless cycle of drinking in which I am in. I cannot not just relax and home, I always feel the need to be social, and with that I always feel the need to have a beer in my hand to be social. And no one can tell when I have had north of 8 beers because apparently I am a very “functional alcoholic”.

It is starting to affect my marriage, my wife is starting to notice that I’m just not engaged in our relationship anymore, and that I’m just so quiet all the time, when we used to talk about everything and anything. My mental health is crumbling, and I can’t seem to focus on anything, I am often depressed and unmotivated. I am starting to notice discomfort in my organs and my physical health in general declining and my wife noticed yellowing in my eyes and my brain just feels foggy all the time. I haven’t slept in what feels like months. I do have some family history of alcoholism, but I never saw myself anywhere near where they were until now (I am in my mid 30’s).

I do not go to therapy and never have. I have never expressed my concern with this problem to anyone, I just always felt in denial and that I would grow out of it.

Again I do not know what I hope to accomplish from putting this out into the universe, but it feels good to be writing this out, thank you all for listening (well, reading actually.)

Going in to the ER right now… I really don’t want to go since the nurses know me by now but I have to cus I’m going through hell right now… hopefully when I get out I can stop for good.

Curious about things that have been deprived of their malignant qualities - non-alc beers being one such thing.

I am an alcoholic. I haven’t had a drink for 6 months since my drinking caused me to lose my work accommodation and meant my family and I had to move.

Over the summer, I experimented with sans alcohol beers and they were surprisingly good. After a day of work outside it was nice to sit with a cold drink.

At an event several months later, I was drinking these while lots of other guests were not. This also meant that regular beers were floating around. My type of secretive drinking meant that it became immediately obvious to me to sneak a regular beer in. I did this on one occasion and felt terrible. I haven’t done so since.

I guess my question is are these non-alc drinks dangerous for someone like me? This event took place about 3 months ago.

I had been sober for 6 months prior (this doesn’t seem very clear now I read back through…)

One month ago I decided to end my nine year affair with alcohol. I didn’t like who I was becoming and neither did my wife or family. I am a fourth generation alcoholic on my mom’s side of the family and I’m determined for it to stop with me.

Disclaimer: I'm not an alcoholic but I think people on this sub may understand a bit.

Posted on here around 2 months ago, things have gotten worse. Genuinely I do not know how I am still alive, I get scared to go to sleep because it feels probable that one day I won't wake up. For context I started drinking at 8 yrs old due to being a carer for a family member and another family member - who was/is a carer with me - was/is an alcoholic. Then have used my brothers id to get alcohol from 15 (I don't do this now as I'm 18).

Okay story time. Today at school was rough. I'm in year 13 (18yrs old) and studying for my a levels. I experience derealisation due to PTSD and had a bit of a derealisation moment in my 1st and 2nd lesson and break time. Last night I drank a lot more than I usually would (usually i have 1/4 of a bottle of brandy and a bottle of malbec per night but last night i had an extra bottle of malbec on top of that) and stayed up all night in order to be able to drink more so that may have contributed to this. I got bad news about an upcoming surgery at break time (it's being delayed) so I was really upset as this is an incredibly important thing for me. I then did not go to my next 2 lessons (well I went to one late and left early) I just couldn't be in school today. I've got mocks coming up and I cant revise because I'm either drunk or hungover. It hurts I just eant to be normal. In my last lesson I must have looked visibly rough as my teacher handed me a post it note asking if I wanted to leave. I did not leave as I knew the lesson was important. But I fell asleep on my desk. I think this is due to staying up all night to drink (which I do often but not drinking as much). After lesson I went to apologise and I ended up telling my teacher about how much I drink and how it's impacting my revision and how I cant stop. I told her that it's making my ptsd symptoms worse and that i dont reqlly know how i havent died not necessarily because of the amount i drink but the stupid things i do when drunk and alone. I'm so ashamed that I can't fix this myself, I want to do this alone. I feel stupid because I can't sort myself out. I'm not an alcoholic and I told my teacher that as she seemed quite concerned. But I do have a lot of issues when it comes to controlling how much I drink, in that I have no control. This is so difficult.

Sorry there is no cohesion to this, I have no idea what it is. I guess this is some sort of journal entry but made on a public platform? I just wanted to tell someone about this.

Hi everyone, I'm 23 days sober today and feeling great. I'm in early sobriety so I struggle a lot with resentment, anger, past decisions and things like that. One thing I've realised is as scared as I was to dig myself out of the hole I created, I actually am enjoying it. I'm having a good time making better decisions, responding better when things are out of my control and acting better with things that are in my control. I was so scared to do things that I actually enjoy doing. With the grace and help of my higher power, I'm solving problems one at a time. I obviously wish I had started sooner but man, I'm so glad to be here right now. So grateful!

I have everything in the world going for me and alcohol is slowly ruining it. I’m not a good husband, father, employee or person anymore. I stop drinking for a few days and then binge and make terrible choices. I’ve lost jobs, time, friends and it’s now affecting my health.

My face has a tint of yellow to it and my liver enzymes are elevated. I’ve thought about ending my life more and more recently.

Most people don’t know how bad the problem is at least I don’t think they do. I’ve always been able to get away with hiding it. I’ve gotten two DUIs only to pay them to disappear.

I’m a well paid executive that lives in Southern California and I have never been unhappier.

I got blacked out drunk send money to only fans girls and have been throwing up all morning. I want this cycle to stop…this wasn’t suppose to happen.