Salaam, so i started an organisation/social enterprise on the skin bleaching epidemic in our Somali community and I’m just working on building the platforms now and the biggest platform i have now is Snapchat ( the others are a working progress ) and my followers suggested to start a GoFundMe page they would like to contribute/support. I honestly don’t know where to begin and never thought about it!!!! So my questions are 1. has anyone on here ever started one and if so was it successful? 2. How do I make it look legit & serious?

I don’t want to come off as a scammer or anything, I really do wanna make change happen.

Thank you in advance 🫶🏾.

I was wearing black tights underneath my open abaya, which was buttoned up (nothing haram about that, but 🤷🏽‍♀️). As I was closing the door to our apartment, she looked down, noticed, and immediately started raging and cussing me out, saying, “Saqar Jamaad yahaay xuunta” along with some other loaded insults, while my aunt just stood there 💀. She demanded that I go back inside and wear a jilbaab (🤢🤮).

At this point in my life, I honestly don’t care anymore. If this had happened two months ago, I would’ve started crying or arguing with her, but I’ve realized it’s pointless. All it does is cause me more emotional turmoil, and I can’t afford to waste any more tears on these people. Instead, I made a mental note to add what she said to my “Why I Need to Move Out” list in my notes app ✌️

So basically my father is a cheater. I found out years before but I was too young to do anything about it and I couldn’t get evidence. But now I’m a lot older (early 20s) and I don’t know how to go about this.

Some background on this man, he’s older like 50s. He’s so fricking religious too I’ve worn a hijab for as long as I can remember, since before I gained consciousness. He always act pious and holier than thou, I’ve never been allowed to wear anything besides hijab and abaya. I’m not even allowed to show a bit of my hair on my forehead or he has something to say.

Living this way made me stray from Islam ngl. I would say I’m agnostic leaning atheist. What made this click for me was seeing how everyone lives a fake life. No one’s as religious as they preach to be, they all have something ‘bad’ going on so why force people to live like this???? I HATE it.

Anyway, a couple of days ago I was on his phone doing something for him and I kept seeing snap notifications. As a grown man in his 50s wtf are you doing on Snapchat?! I made sure to record it all this time, I went through most of his messages and saved pictures/videos. As I’m going through it and getting evidence my other sibling was taking pictures. At the time I wasn’t paying attention to what I was getting evidence of but after going through it I see he’s also a sugar daddy.

On one of the messages he’s calling a woman ‘babe’ and ‘macanto’ and she’s asking him for a laptop to do her ‘homework’ on?! This made me mad the most since we literally told him about how our little sister’s laptop accidentally broke (someone cracked the screen) and she actually needs it for homework!!

I just don’t know how to go about confronting him. He’s a violent man but I also live in Europe so there’s only sm he can do. I would tell my mother but she’s as bad as him and I’m wondering if she’ll just take him side like she’s always done all our lives.

my sister has recently started going out without a hijab. I also saw her talking to boys and vaping etc. She goes out with a hijab, but takes it off and her jilbab and wears jeans and crop tops. Should i snitch on her and tell my mom?

shes also an ex muslim like me lol, but she doesnt know that i am

I’m stuck in Africa for a few months and it’s mad boring cuz I’m here solo IF U SPEAK ENGLISH and 16+ and in Puntland DM me (I’m 16(m)) 👍🏾👍🏾

“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.” -Albert Einstein

We're helping people struggling with Islam in all the ways that they need help with, and we're also helping the outside world better understand us and our communities.

Usama is an ex-Muslim activist advocating for freedom of speech, secularism and the rights of apostates and “blasphemers” to live in safety and dignity without fear of persecution. He is one of the people heading the Arab Atheist Broadcasting project and serves on the editorial board of the Arab Atheists Magazine. Usama has a PhD in theoretical physics and is an educator. He keenly pursues the propagation of knowledge through science and rationality.

As for me, I'm the founder of the non-profit Uniting The Cults, whose purpose is to rid the world of apostasy laws, with a vision of a world governed by scientific thinking, where people recognize love as the goal and rationality as the method to achieve it.

Here's the link to the livestream: https://youtube.com/live/JK8_4NG8HXE

We hope to see you there!

Be water my friends 💘

hello everyone,

i see a lot on here about abusive somali parents who make for unsafe environments but i have a different perspective.

my mom is very religious and she is also my best friend. i’ve never prayed even as a child and she tried everything to make me pray. to this day (i’m 20 and have already moved out) i will still get the occasional lecture on needing to pray and take my religion seriously before i die.

we’ve always have an amazing relationship, she doesn’t believe in physical discipline (i’ve been spanked maybe 5 times in my life) and she loves a deep meaningful conversation. i even tell her about boys im interested in.

my worry is that i wont preserve our relationship if i live my life the way i want and that would genuinely tear me up because i love her so much.

any of you guys have any advice or a similarly positive dynamic with a parent?

Can we normalize not wanting to cut off parents like as much as my parents hurt me, part of me still wants them part of my life. and sometimes i’d dare say i even hate them, but the idea of have having no father and mother to talk to ever again is just so uncomfortable. I want to have parents. And i feel like there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have your parents in your life and trying to make it work. as of now, i’m not sure what to do. There’s no way i can live the way i want to while still not getting disowned. I feel stuck and am constantly wishing for a way to have the both of them but slowly realizing it’s not a possibility and just a mere dream.

and I think of the day when i’ll have to choose between the two in fear because i know i’ll pick myself and loose my family forever and it genuinely ruins my mood so i try to enjoy whatever moments I have now, to have something to look back onto and say maybe my whole life with my family wasn’t all too bad.

and the worst part of it all is losing connect with my siblings whom i love very much. My older sister ran away over two years ago, and till this day It’s hard to have connect with her because of how restrictive my family is, who track my call log and my phone. I miss my older sister so much, and when i leave i’ll be reunited with her but the idea of leaving my younger siblings just breaks me apart even more. Unfortunately i can’t be fully honest with my younger sister about my beliefs and sexuality bc she wouldn’t understand but i wish i could. then maybe she wouldn’t hate me too much for leaving her. as for my younger brother, he’ll probably hate me forever. He’s young and will have his opinions dictated by my parents.

it just all seems so unfair that no matter what route i go, there’s never truly a happy ending. and i feel like that’s the case for many of us. there always has to be a sacrifice

i’m planning on making a gc on insta (bc i feel like discord doesn’t allow for actual connections) but this gc will be for anyone who isn’t a cis man tbh. No issue with cis men and we might have a gc with yall in the future but i feel like that’s what’s best for now just comfort wise :p If ur interested you guys can comment and i’ll dm you my insta where u can follow me as my account will be private now to filter out the creeps and ingenuine people!

The gc is just to find people who relate to us and also form connections since many of us tend to be in hiding due to backlash in our community but yea 🙏🏾🙏🏾

Hello I found this discord for younger teens exmuslim Somalis join if you are interested

https://discord.gg/RFwbve4d

I’ve been exmus for like 2 months now and at first it was great, but now everything is starting to dawn on me. How do u guys live with the fact that ur parents would hate you if they knew the truth? Your siblings and friends as well? Sometimes I just think of going back to being a Muslim and live a pretense life but at least I’d have community and not think everyday about the life I could be living instead. It’s just so depressing honestly sometimes I wish I never went down the rabbithole which led me to leave. It’s almost like I’m giving myslef an ultimatum in my head, making myself choose either my family or my freedom.

I often see tweets or videos of people talking about what they’re going to ask for in Jannah and honestly it’s so sad. It’s almost childish the things they want b/c a llot of these things are achievable here on Earth.

It’s wild how some people are just putting their lives on pause living miserably because they’re waiting for some Jannah. What if there’s no Jannah? What then?

What's the stupidest thing you've seen a person wish for?

I was at a somali/muslim event yesterday and it was maghrib, so all of the guys left to pray together, but out of like 40 girls not even one left to pray. Like we can’t all be on our periods right now lol

Take your freedom by the throat. I promise you it will never present itself in a pretty basket. You won’t look at it and think “is this it..?” Our progression is meant to be painful, heart breaking, and life changing. It will alter your reality. Your existence as a woman demands it. Be better because of it. Don’t fall victim to tradition. Remain steadfast. Because whether you realize it or not, you carry the weight of every women before you. Our aim in life is to exist despite the status quo.

After moving out and limiting communication with your family because of the pain they caused you and for your well being, did a relative pass away without you present? were you guilt tripped about that relatives health before they died? did you go back and visit, attending the funeral? how did your family treat you about the situation and how were you able to cope with the death of this relative? did you feel guilt for not spending enough time with them the past few years?

How did you find a partner preferably Somali that is also an exmuslim. And if so how did you find out they were an exmuslim. What’s your story

"I can't live my life, be the person I am authentically, because it would destroy my family. And I feel selfish for thinking my life is worth the destruction of the people I love"

This is some helpful insight for you.

Hello. You are a person. You are the person who thinks, feels, breathes. You have likes and dislikes. Interests and hobbies. You have dreams, goals for your life.

Now your family can't do this to you.

Let's talk about what the thing you can't do to your family is. Show the person that you are or live the life you want.

So just exist. You can't exist, because it would destroy your family. Of course it would. The only thing holding it together is the denial of your existence. The denial that you are your own person, with desires and a different identity.

And because of that you've grown up denying yourself too, understandably. You don't value your feelings, compared to that of your family. I don't think you even see them.

Because you hate this life. Rightfully, because you don't exist in it, and you want to. But even though you recognize that, the consequences of hurting your family keeps you trapped.

You talk of your family's pain, but I can see yours. You say it will hurt your family, but I can see that your family's been hurting you all your life. And I can see both your pain, as equal.

You can't, because you can't see yourself as a person yet. Or more importantly, you can't see yourself as a person equal to your family members. And it's not your fault.

But you can learn. Work on creating a sense of self. Actually get to know who you are because your life hasn't made room for that.

And once you do. You will be angry. Because for the first time you will look at your life, and your poor self, and think "I didn't deserve this", instead of "my family didn't deserve this"

Instead of living the rest of your life as you've always been, blind to your own pain. Or blind to your own existence.

I don’t understand why some people say a woman’s voice is awrah. Even some Somalis on Twitter believe it. Tbh it disgusts me? As a 20 F. There is so many other things about being a woman that is considered intimate and sexual even. Like her walk, her eyes are too “sexy”. I’m so glad I live in America. Women in Afghanistan can’t even speak to each other in public, they can’t laugh or yell. For what? Why is being a woman seen as sexual when you are just a human being. It infuriates me. I’m so glad I get to wear jeans, and cute shirts and but what I want to walk freely in society. My heart breaks for some women.

I hate hijab so much

I feel so jealousss looking at other somali girls getting too have their curly hair out. Like i saw this one somali and she was so pretty omg her outfit and hair done and she just had those features and i was just next to her looking like a trashbag. Even when i see a somali without hijab i just get so jelaous beacause shes so pretty and i have to wear long ugly jilbabs and wear no makeup. I live in a scandinavian country and everyone here is so stylish and pretty. Why do somalis worry so much about hair. I remember when i went outside to the corner shop and my dad was yelling about how he could see my edges. Its so embarassing. How do somali men get to smoke, s@xual assault kids and yes i know people that got r@ped by somali uncles and married somali men. And when i go out with sweatpants im crazy. Are we just meant to be ugly and boring? I just wanna travel everywhere and swim with bikinis and feel the cold breeze in my hair. Are we meant to just get married to a somali men that are shaqolaan and then get 10 kids and die? Hope yall have a wonderful day:)

Helping those who struggle with Islam.. and those concerned for the future of our world.

📢 Announcing a new call-in livestream dedicated primarily to helping people struggling with Islam, in all the ways that they need help with. Its also for the purpose of helping the outside world better understand us and the communities we come from. (Its part of a non-profit called Uniting The Cults.)

This livestream is co-hosted with Dr. Usama al-Binni, theoretical physicist and ex-Muslim activist, and one of the people heading the Arab Atheist Broadcasting project and serves on the editorial board of Arab Atheists Magazine.

Here's the link to the first livestream. Please turn on notifications.

How to get involved?

• Check out our current list of topics.
• Suggest a topic here or comment below.
• Request to call-in.

In the meantime, is there anything special you'd like us to talk about, or fun activities for the first livestream?

So i was flirting with this boy (girl)i just found out she's girl and she knew i was girl i wished she was girl multiple times and it become real am just soo happy

A little hope for you.

Freedom. We all want it, but for a lot of us it seems far away. For some, maybe even a dream more than reality.

I'll move out, and get my freedom. Freedom waits in the future. But what about the people still trapped, that can't get out yet? The anxiety of dying before you ever get the life you want, and the dream far away in your cage.

Freedom can be a lot of things. I've learned to see it as mentally, as well.

I think we free ourselves in little ways. Everytime we don't let fear stop us from living the life we want. Everytime we don't let our love for others stop us from living the life we want.

When you learn to speak of your future, without speaking about your family. When you learn to see yourself as an actual person, and not the subhuman you've been raised as. The subhuman you treat yourself as.

When you take steps, no matter how small, in the direction of the life you want, despite the pain and fear.

And most importantly, what led up to the steps being taken. You may think your life has been wasted up until this point. I think you've been carving the way forward. No matter how still it may look. You've spent it thinking, dreaming, wanting, daring.

I think you were free the moment you wanted freedom, because your mind was no longer a cage.

Because you've spent your life dreaming, you've created a life for yourself that didn't exist before. They handed you this life and you dared to think of a better one. You created one for yourself.

Your life isn't suspended. It's been moving forward in a direction you created. Even if you can't see the steps you've taken, or if you think you haven't taken any. I think you can feel a little free knowing you've created freedom.

Even if it's only inside our mind. It's real.

I thought once I achieved freedom I would be happy. When I realized life is just a process of freeing yourself, and seeing the ways I had, I was happy knowing I would get to experience it over and over again.

Even if you're trapped, or it's a long way out. You will make it. And if not, you already have. I don't know your life, but I am proud of you for making it this far. I am proud of you for daring to dream.

Although the cage is real, and it's suffocating. Your life didn't stop there. You made something out of it.

Somali parents will have kids after their eldest kids have already grown up and leave the parenting of the babies to them and I have a thought that one of the reasons for that is to keep the eldest kids attached to them and the home. When I was a teenager I spent all of days taking care of my baby siblings to the point where they would rather sleep with me than my mom. I am now in my 20s and live away from my family because I was not given the respect I was owed at least for how much care and energy I put into my family, I was not expecting anything luxurious back like a car or something, literally all I wanted in return was to be treated like a human and especially for my mom to stop coddling my older brother who wanted to control me. I didn’t want to leave them willingly and I’m not living the “perfect life” without them and what hurts me the most like genuinely pains me, is not seeing my younger siblings. It’s as if they forgot I was like a mother to them and that it was easy for me to leave, but they didn’t forget. they know how much I care about them and that’s where the guilt tripping comes into place. which leads me to be given the choice between giving up my respect and dignity or making my younger siblings grow up without me. how can a parent create a dynamic like this between their children? I don’t know about you but this sounds like pure evil to me.

to all of you who have moved out and don’t have a huge age difference between your younger siblings, I hope you know how lucky you are. I am not even able to text or call mine as they are toddlers. but I have suffered a great deal under my family’s household and I do think I am deserving of a break. even though I am still struggling in different ways living on my own as an adult, at the bare minimum I am not being constantly belittled and disrespected.

I tried posting it in r/Somalia but the mods kept deleting it lol

I think one of the big ones by far is fear of mortgages. It's normalized to take out interest loans when it comes to buying cars or going to school for tuition. Many hooyos lie to the government about being a single mother when her husband is at home to receive ceyd from the government. Families living in section 8/government assisted housing will lie about how much money they have on their taxes and put savings in Somali owned banks. They'll do all that and yet whenever someone brings up mortgages everyone becomes a sheikh. Additionally Somalis across the west disproportionally live in low income ghetto neighborhoods where their kids (especially sons) are prone to bad influences that can lead to sins much greater than taking out an interest loan

One of my Abti's bought a house for 40k in a shitty neighborhood in 2010 after the market crash, and today its worth 160k. His family are now moving to a middle class neighborhood. Property is by far the easiest way of economic mobility. Even if a someone spends the rest of their life paying off a mortgage their kid will receive that inheritance and can use that to propel