/r/wholesomejokes

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/r/wholesomejokes

5,475 Subscribers

8

What if someone made an app like Instagram but for Satanists? Would they call it Pentagram?

Just wondering... 😈

0 Comments
2024/09/19
15:55 UTC

5

2 wholesome jokes

What is the most tired part of a car? The exhaust pipe because it’s exhausted lol

Which animal cheets at every game? A cheetah.

1 Comment
2024/02/26
09:30 UTC

7

Happy Cakeday, r/wholesomejokes! Today you're 6

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 1 posts:

0 Comments
2022/12/27
20:48 UTC

18

Thanksgiving brings a family togeather to appreciate the American story.

Which is a nice change from bringing them togeather to get a story straight.

0 Comments
2021/11/25
18:08 UTC

84

Library joke … I didn’t make this up.

Last week I was studying for my psych exam so I asked the librarian where I could find books on paranoia.

He leaned over and whispered, “They’re right behind you.”

1 Comment
2021/09/09
23:14 UTC

69

one time i asked my dad what a solar eclipse was. he said no sun

so i replied

all right then, keep your secrets

1 Comment
2021/02/25
18:43 UTC

43

A Blond Deputy – Super-Funny

The local Sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her,

“What is 1 and 1?”

“Eleven”, she replies.

The Sheriff thinks to himself, “That’s not what I wanted, but I guess she’s right!”

“What are the two days of the week wich begin with the letter T?” he asks.

“Today and Tomorrow”, the blonde answers.

The Sheriff is surprised again that the blonde has supplied a correct answer that had not even occurred to him.

“Now listen carefully, who killed Abe Lincoln?” he asks her. The blonde looks a little surprised. She thinks really hard for a minute and finally admits,

“I don’t know.”

“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”

So, the blonde wanders over to the beauty parlor, where her pals are waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant.

“The interview went great!” she says. “The first day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”

0 Comments
2021/01/26
15:44 UTC

58

I need to get tested for rabies

Because I have been struck by a ravenously attractive redditor who just clicked this post.

3 Comments
2021/01/11
13:27 UTC

73

Fun fact, you can’t say laughter while smiling, try it

I got you to smile hehe.

4 Comments
2021/01/10
01:08 UTC

44

My friends and family seem to like to dump their problems onto me and it's making me feel a bit like a garbage bag.

Glad

3 Comments
2021/01/02
20:57 UTC

43

It must be confusing living in Heaven, everyone keeps mixing up Bob Ross and Jesus because they’re so similar

0 Comments
2020/12/04
05:38 UTC

32

Dont need to be dirty to be funny

What did the scarf say to the touque? You go on a head, I'll hang here.

0 Comments
2020/11/26
22:41 UTC

5

new member wholesome joke

the name for a gay/trans

a person

6 Comments
2020/11/26
22:26 UTC

86

Hey. You. Make like a tree...

And slowly grow while helping others around you grow, too.

0 Comments
2020/11/08
01:33 UTC

84

What do you call a person with no arms or legs

A person

5 Comments
2020/11/06
13:15 UTC

68

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

Because then they'd be Bagles!

1 Comment
2020/09/15
01:28 UTC

86

What do you call a factory that makes great quality products?

A satisfactory

1 Comment
2020/09/07
21:18 UTC

24

funny haha's

What do you call a funny lizard,.......... A Chameleon!!

The joke is that lizard is a comedian.

5 Comments
2020/08/11
18:13 UTC

82

I like my women like I like my wine

Someone I can go to to forget all my problems and just have fun for a while.

4 Comments
2020/07/16
02:16 UTC

71

you can't win a race, because all race's are equal

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5 Comments
2020/07/03
15:41 UTC

69

A good number of my friends are racist.

1 Comment
2020/06/16
17:54 UTC

60

Wholesome yo mama

Yo mama is so well-respected within her profession that I bet she’ll get another raise and promotion this year despite the downward trajectory of the economy.

1 Comment
2020/04/30
04:40 UTC

70

Learning braille

Hello I had a stroke a year ago causing me to become legally blind. I am learning braille and halfway through level 1 braille now.

Today I learned the letter P in braille. I just realized I have spent the past couple hours touching PPs.

1 Comment
2020/04/13
19:42 UTC

46

Did you hear the one about the airplane that fell apart?

It’s a riveting story.

0 Comments
2020/03/10
14:56 UTC

52

Why did the cosmonaut bring his dog to the vet?

He came down with a stellar case of lunar ticks.

0 Comments
2020/01/26
02:21 UTC

21

Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.

0 Comments
2020/01/18
19:35 UTC

22

An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word.

0 Comments
2020/01/13
20:54 UTC

61

Last Thursday, Bob ran into the supermarket in a hurry.

"Ouch!" he said, then continued on his way, making sure to run around the supermarket this time.

3 Comments
2020/01/13
18:44 UTC

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