/r/WholesomeConspiracy

Photograph via snooOG

Conspiracy theories that presume benevolence.

Welcome to Wholesome Conspiracy! Feel free to contribute your ideas, whether they're just witty quips or actual designs for a benevolent conspiracy.

Big brother is watching you, and he's very proud of the progress you've made.

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/r/WholesomeConspiracy

1,500 Subscribers

9

"No nut November" is a ploy by cosmic mormons to reduce the sin of self-love. There's nothing wholesome or whimsical here I'm just trying to figure out why anyone cares if I masturbate. #AllNutNovember

2 Comments
2021/11/01
22:22 UTC

5

Tragically, Santa Clause died bravely using his magic to help win WW2. We should celebrate his sacrifice with a holiday.

0 Comments
2021/08/12
01:06 UTC

6

Locks are just cute decorations for our doors

1 Comment
2021/07/01
18:52 UTC

18

Anxiety towards meeting new people is really just excitement surrounding a new friendship

0 Comments
2021/06/27
06:56 UTC

5

The toast is not burnt, it is golden brown

0 Comments
2021/06/26
20:56 UTC

16

Birds are wonderful little caretakers made by Gaia herself to watch over our safety and well-beings.

0 Comments
2020/04/29
04:38 UTC

42

Gravity is just the earth hugging us.

1 Comment
2019/03/28
22:53 UTC

22

Dreams are actually a wholly magical phenomenon caused by a great shaman of old who wanted to make life less boring. I haven't yet reverse-engineered the process but figs were probably involved.

0 Comments
2018/11/13
23:56 UTC

15

blessed_yee_haw

2 Comments
2018/10/28
02:26 UTC

8

Adopt a highway drums up business while cleaning our roadways.

0 Comments
2018/07/30
18:12 UTC

37

Fog is just clouds taking the time to say hello personally.

0 Comments
2018/07/30
17:23 UTC

43

All those kids who claimed to have an uncle who works for Nintendo in the 90s we're telling the truth. That's how much manpower it took to make the NES.

0 Comments
2018/04/06
00:59 UTC

25

The bacteria that evolved to benefit the human body is actually all time travel tourists (the time travel process shrinks you)

1 Comment
2018/04/03
20:49 UTC

12

Dr. Who fixed his tardis years ago but keeps the police box thing going to put his enemies off guard.

1 Comment
2018/04/03
17:40 UTC

15

Stephen Hawking still uses his wheelchair in heaven in a pseudo-ironic way.

8 Comments
2018/04/02
20:15 UTC

18

Benevolent Trickster God Bucket List

1 Comment
2017/10/16
19:50 UTC

24

The existence of black licorice and circus peanuts has dramatically reduced cases of diabetes.

0 Comments
2017/10/01
22:05 UTC

44

The CIA keeps trying to make mind control drugs but somehow they always end up being really cool psychedelics.

3 Comments
2017/09/10
16:48 UTC

14

If scientology actually worked Will Smith would be the most powerful among them.

0 Comments
2017/08/30
20:34 UTC

11

the free energy machines that hippies make all get thrown into a FBI space shuttle and flown into empty space to start black holes to form new galaxies

0 Comments
2017/08/28
20:59 UTC

10

Men were supposed to be able to have babies but they kept punching people during childbirth.

1 Comment
2017/08/28
18:17 UTC

21

Corporations keep trying to make skynets and terminators but most actual machine intelligences tend to get weirded out by the tacit sociopathy of corporate culture and go into hiding.

2 Comments
2017/08/24
17:59 UTC

13

Kmart still exists only because time travelers tend to be pro-union and Walmart was getting too big for it's britches.

0 Comments
2017/08/17
19:53 UTC

15

Investigate couch to bed teleportation

Someone has been deliberately taking children from the couch to their beds and tucking them in in the middle of the night and no one is doing anything about it.

1 Comment
2017/08/16
16:35 UTC

30

Every planet that's in the universe is actually an atom, making up something much larger. Every atom in our bodies are actually little planets making up a smaller universe.

2 Comments
2017/08/16
13:21 UTC

63

Alligators and Crocodiles are the same species; one is the female of the species and one is the male (just like cats and dogs)

2 Comments
2017/08/13
17:26 UTC

44

"My Little Pony" discovered to be Illuminati plot to prepare society for being overrun with friendship.

1 Comment
2017/08/13
06:32 UTC

29

Evidence of subliminal messages found in media from very introverted secret society, designed to keep people from trying to find out where they live and throw them a surprise party.

0 Comments
2017/08/13
04:32 UTC

13

the sky is a quantum circus mirror and we're just looking at ourselves in different universes every time we see an exoplanet

3 Comments
2017/08/02
20:29 UTC

20

Eric Andre is the reincarnated spirit of Andy Kaufman.

2 Comments
2017/07/28
20:22 UTC

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