/r/WholesomeConspiracy
Conspiracy theories that presume benevolence.
Welcome to Wholesome Conspiracy! Feel free to contribute your ideas, whether they're just witty quips or actual designs for a benevolent conspiracy.
Big brother is watching you, and he's very proud of the progress you've made.
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/r/WholesomeConspiracy
1,526 Subscribers
10
"No nut November" is a ploy by cosmic mormons to reduce the sin of self-love. There's nothing wholesome or whimsical here I'm just trying to figure out why anyone cares if I masturbate. #AllNutNovember
2 Comments
2021/11/01
22:22 UTC
22:22 UTC
6
Tragically, Santa Clause died bravely using his magic to help win WW2. We should celebrate his sacrifice with a holiday.
0 Comments
2021/08/12
01:06 UTC
01:06 UTC
6
Locks are just cute decorations for our doors
1 Comment
2021/07/01
18:52 UTC
18:52 UTC
17
Anxiety towards meeting new people is really just excitement surrounding a new friendship
0 Comments
2021/06/27
06:56 UTC
06:56 UTC
4
The toast is not burnt, it is golden brown
0 Comments
2021/06/26
20:56 UTC
20:56 UTC
16
Birds are wonderful little caretakers made by Gaia herself to watch over our safety and well-beings.
0 Comments
2020/04/29
04:38 UTC
04:38 UTC
42
Gravity is just the earth hugging us.
1 Comment
2019/03/28
22:53 UTC
22:53 UTC
20
Dreams are actually a wholly magical phenomenon caused by a great shaman of old who wanted to make life less boring. I haven't yet reverse-engineered the process but figs were probably involved.
0 Comments
2018/11/13
23:56 UTC
23:56 UTC
15
blessed_yee_haw
2 Comments
2018/10/28
02:26 UTC
02:26 UTC
35
Fog is just clouds taking the time to say hello personally.
0 Comments
2018/07/30
17:23 UTC
17:23 UTC
45
All those kids who claimed to have an uncle who works for Nintendo in the 90s we're telling the truth. That's how much manpower it took to make the NES.
0 Comments
2018/04/06
00:59 UTC
00:59 UTC
26
The bacteria that evolved to benefit the human body is actually all time travel tourists (the time travel process shrinks you)
1 Comment
2018/04/03
20:49 UTC
20:49 UTC
12
Dr. Who fixed his tardis years ago but keeps the police box thing going to put his enemies off guard.
1 Comment
2018/04/03
17:40 UTC
17:40 UTC
18
Stephen Hawking still uses his wheelchair in heaven in a pseudo-ironic way.
8 Comments
2018/04/02
20:15 UTC
20:15 UTC
19
Benevolent Trickster God Bucket List
1 Comment
2017/10/16
19:50 UTC
19:50 UTC
25
The existence of black licorice and circus peanuts has dramatically reduced cases of diabetes.
0 Comments
2017/10/01
22:05 UTC
22:05 UTC
44
The CIA keeps trying to make mind control drugs but somehow they always end up being really cool psychedelics.
3 Comments
2017/09/10
16:48 UTC
16:48 UTC
12
If scientology actually worked Will Smith would be the most powerful among them.
0 Comments
2017/08/30
20:34 UTC
20:34 UTC
11
the free energy machines that hippies make all get thrown into a FBI space shuttle and flown into empty space to start black holes to form new galaxies
0 Comments
2017/08/28
20:59 UTC
20:59 UTC
10
Men were supposed to be able to have babies but they kept punching people during childbirth.
1 Comment
2017/08/28
18:17 UTC
18:17 UTC
20
Corporations keep trying to make skynets and terminators but most actual machine intelligences tend to get weirded out by the tacit sociopathy of corporate culture and go into hiding.
2 Comments
2017/08/24
17:59 UTC
17:59 UTC
15
Kmart still exists only because time travelers tend to be pro-union and Walmart was getting too big for it's britches.
0 Comments
2017/08/17
19:53 UTC
19:53 UTC
14
Investigate couch to bed teleportation
Someone has been deliberately taking children from the couch to their beds and tucking them in in the middle of the night and no one is doing anything about it.
1 Comment
2017/08/16
16:35 UTC
16:35 UTC
28
Every planet that's in the universe is actually an atom, making up something much larger. Every atom in our bodies are actually little planets making up a smaller universe.
2 Comments
2017/08/16
13:21 UTC
13:21 UTC
61
Alligators and Crocodiles are the same species; one is the female of the species and one is the male (just like cats and dogs)
2 Comments
2017/08/13
17:26 UTC
17:26 UTC
46
"My Little Pony" discovered to be Illuminati plot to prepare society for being overrun with friendship.
1 Comment
2017/08/13
06:32 UTC
06:32 UTC
28
Evidence of subliminal messages found in media from very introverted secret society, designed to keep people from trying to find out where they live and throw them a surprise party.
0 Comments
2017/08/13
04:32 UTC
04:32 UTC
15
the sky is a quantum circus mirror and we're just looking at ourselves in different universes every time we see an exoplanet
3 Comments
2017/08/02
20:29 UTC
20:29 UTC
19
Eric Andre is the reincarnated spirit of Andy Kaufman.
2 Comments
2017/07/28
20:22 UTC
20:22 UTC
12
ancient astronauts were just humans who made rocketships out of coconuts and wood
2 Comments
2017/07/25
19:39 UTC
19:39 UTC