Thy step is great, thy step is great, that it may traverse the great sky. Thou art not seized by earth-gods; thou art not rejected by the planets. Thou withdrawest thyself to heaven; the ways which lead up to Horus, are made firm for thee; the heart of Set fraternizes with thee. Thou hast voyaged over the Winding Watercourse in the north of Nut as a star, which ferries over the ocean. Thou who art very high among the stars, the imperishable stars, thou wilt not perish eternally. As the name of Set, in Ombos, endures, so may the name of Francis endure, likewise, for ever and ever.

Youtube p1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86XCLhDhjjM

Youtube p2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOEnNqjv-4s

Spotify p1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0r9X75xBBBIFXGjZR4ZpeO

Spotify p2: https://open.spotify.com/episode/18fRFQe9KKZ5yT24U0GYgD

One of the most detrimental lies we are taught, which for most of our families probably finds its roots in the story of Adam and Eve, is that blood relation gives some sort of special significance to other people. An obvious example of the damage this falsehood causes is those who stay with abusive family members, or let psychic vampires leech off them simply because “they are blood, so they are family.” People will bend over backwards and put themselves through all kinds of unneeded trauma just because someone is blood-related. Another example, you learn through ancestry that some random person you have never met is biologically related to you, this should mean literally nothing. This is not to say our family cannot also be a blood relation, but that the blood has nothing to do with it.

Ironically, this whole “blood makes family/kin/tribe” boils down to biological essentialism, that icky materialistic ideology that our being and identity reduces to our biology. It has been used to genocide entire groups of people, to perpetuate racism and segregation, gender roles/norms, and everything else. Rejecting this biological essentialism is called out as early as the story of Cain and Abel, where Cain questions if he should be the keeper of his brother. It should be no surprise, then, that biological essentialism also leads to horrible outcomes when it comes to “blood = family.”

What DOES make a family? This is likely going to vary from group to group, but “blood” is an unacceptable property to focus on. For example, I have both blood and non-blood relations which I consider family because we are there for each other, talk often, enjoy each other's company, respect each other, and would protect each other… None of this is impacted in any way by their blood or genes though. True family is the one thing, the few people, for which the wanderer of the Left Hand Path will set the Self aside for when needed, those who manage to journey through the deserts to the oasis.

I bring this up after having seen my own family traumatized for years because they labor under this delusion of blood = family. It likely doesn’t even need illustration, I’d bet anyone reading this can think of a blood relation who fits the bill of psychic vampire, if not worse. No amount of reason can convince them that someone with a blood relation can be nothing more than a useless, awful, piece of shit. Blood somehow gives things a “good essence” in our culture, which if you think about it for even a moment ranges from vampire levels of creepy to Nazi levels of creepy. This is UTTER NONSENSE. As Lord Byron’s Lucifer said, things are good and evil in-and-of themselves, not made so by the person committing the act or preaching the idea.

Sadly there is not much you can do, “blood = family” may as well be a written law. There is no law against cutting off toxic blood relatives just as there is no law that you cannot stop being friends with someone, or helping your actual family learn to do the same. Cut these people out like the cancer they are, and what an apt metaphor, for they do to the soul what cancer does to the body, and the treatment can be just as hard to survive. But one must survive or perish. In old times we could have easily exiled someone or sent them on an impossible journey, but what cannot be oppressed by law is magic. And there is no stopping the wrath of gods and spirits one has befriended, or the punishments of one’s next life.

“When the true king's murderers are allowed to roam free, a thousand magicians rise in the land.” - Jim Morrison

A curse upon these leeches who sustain themselves on blood as essence.

Background

This week I attended two days of the Dream/TPUSA Conference in Phoenix, Arizona. Part study, part magic, part knowing your enemy, I wanted to get inside and see this type of event for myself. I removed my necklace, covered my tattoos, and assimilated the best I could, trying not to betray my biases while also trying to give the most charitable representation possible. This latter objective will be… difficult, to say the least.

I just had to get this typed and out of my system. Will make it a podcast episode as well.

The Community - Day 1

On the first day, I arrived about when the doors opened, many hours before the first session, and spent most of the day looking around the campus and speaking to the exhibitors. The property is beautiful to be sure, clearly a pricey place of real estate and construction. It is tucked away into the side of a small mountain, which the church directly connects to, uses, and calls the “prayer mountain,” despite it being clearly labeled as owned by the city (and taxpayers) of Phoenix. Indeed at the end of day three they are all going up there to do some massive prayer over the city. There were uniformed officers at the event, who stated that they were there helping off-duty, but I was honestly expecting more security and some sort of counter-protest. I am now not even sure if the state at large knows this is going on this week.

As I expected, there was a contradictory interplay between the church and pop-culture. Evangelism is clearly enmeshed with and embracing Consumer Culture. Game characters, superheroes, and some other popular sights could be seen, despite a heavy preaching focus on not assimilating to a sinful culture. What I would call an “influencer” culture was heavily at play, there was a surprising (to me) focus on vanity, again despite a call to reject modern culture. Really interesting to see was Marvel's Thor, a Disney owned, polytheistic deity based character who I cannot imagine fits the values of the general audience. The whole vibe was like a rock concert, with unique event merchandise and all. This materialistic and consumerist angle ran rampant through the entire event, as we will see.

Most of the exhibitors were focused on education in one form or another. First, getting into the school and getting children reintroduced to Biblical Christianity. They are 100% “coming for your kids.” Then keeping them of course, and preparing them to enter a higher education program (with groups such as TPUSA). At that point it switches to adult education, training new pastors who can then go out, create their own churches, and bring more sheep (and money) into the flock. Some of the tables have truly good goals on the face of it, like stopping human trafficking, which will come up more below. There was a lot of cringe among the tables though: “woke tears,” mottos rejecting communism, asking for prayer back in school, a Gadsden flag where the snake is replaced with a fetus, just so much of this kind of consumable content to give out to thousands for free. To be sure there were also books for sale from most of the main speakers or related ministries, and the merch of course.

All in all though, I did not see or hear anything that truly surprised me or shocked me, I knew what I was getting into, at least to some degree. Really the vibe was chill as people showed up and registered, and I just hung out and people watched for a few hours. I was, in a way, disappointed almost, only because I had expected culture shock and just found some conservative Christians. Don't get discouraged though, read on.

Opening Ceremonies - Day 1

Once stuff got underway for the first evening ceremony though, things changed pretty damn fast. They opened with blaring music, strobing lights, fog machines, and a 20 minute long parade of all the branches of the Megachurch that were present. There was a lot of pop-culture symbolism mixed in, lot’s of pro-life signs and everything you would expect, it was intense but still nothing I had not expected. Larger and louder, but pretty on par.

Then came Charlie Kirk of TPUSA himself, and that was when the entire atmosphere changed. I immediately saw the distance between conservative Christianity and Christian Nationalism growing. Kirk started by bragging about getting Trump to AZ during Covid, and how they have started hosting Freedom Nights in the state, hoping to essentially turn the state Christian. He condemned Christians who obeyed secular protocols as weak, and called upon the audience to actively revolt in the name of Christianity.

“Liberty” was his focus, “liberty is god’s idea, not man’s.” He claims to stand for “liberty and righteousness.” Keep this in particular in mind for later, this love for “liberty” in the name of an omnipotent tyrant… Kirk ended by calling on the church to fix the declining civilization that is modern America. The explicit goal of the conference is to make AZ a Christian state, then take the nation. “Biblical, not political.”

It was strange to me how these speakers could actually have some decent ideas, such as fighting for liberty or improving society, but then it goes straight to shit when they fall back on Christian Nationalism.

Then, well, I cannot really describe what happened. I don’t want to over-dramatize as someone who has worked with abused children and studied dehumanization, but if not one of the worst things I have ever seen, it was one of the most cringe-inducing, eye-bleaching things I have ever seen live and in person. A group of (I think entirely white) students did a sort of… interpretive dance of American history. They acted out things like pretending to be slaves rowing a slave ship, planting a girl as the Iwo Jima flag, reenacting the Kennedy assassination, portraying the fall of the Twin Towers with people jumping out, acting out a violent and careless abortion, and in the end blaming all this on a lack of Jesus. Ladies and Gentlemen, this does not even get close to describing the insanity. Luckily I don’t need to, the whole session was recorded. In fact, take time to stop here and go to 57:30 of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLXvsoYYBiw&t=3463s (thanks to them proudly recording this stuff I will focus on what I took from the sermons at large)

I wanted culture shock, and then I was not happy when it actually happened.

I was in the darkness; I could not see my words Nor the wishes of my heart. Then suddenly there was a great light -"Let me into the darkness again." - Stephen Crane

I am not an easily offended guy, and I have to say that my jaw was on the floor. My wife had joined for the free night session, having an interest as her family was a hard-core racist baptist cult, and HER jaw was on the floor. Thank gods the lights were down and all that because I would have given myself away. It was honestly surreal, full blown twilight zone shit. And by the end of it as the audience went wild, I realized just what an insane situation I had really found myself in.

Jentezen Franklin - Day 1

Jentezen encouraged the audience towards “openness,” saying that if a Christian opens their mind and opens themselves to new experiences, this is when god will come to them. I feel safe assuming that this only includes experiences in line with what is already permitted, as per the Right Hand Path. I doubt that opening yourself to social progress and such things would lead to the god they are speaking of, that would kind of defeat the entire purpose. The contradiction seems completely lost on them though, just no awareness of the irony.

Jentezen called for a new revival movement, he wants people to get out there and proselytize and be evangelical again. A common theme was to frown upon “weak Christians” who obeyed the rules of “Secularism.” He told the audience that they are never closer to the devil than when they have a sense of pride, though shortly afterwards said each one of them is just a little “openness” away from being a vehicle of god himself, then bragged about his wealth. Homosexuality, transgenderism, the breakup of the nuclear family, declining church numbers, less procreation… all this and more are seen as symptoms of “demonic influence,” which in a way I guess is a compliment? The whole thing is in the link above, this is just what really stood out to me the most.

I also have to mention his sermon’s focus on his first experience playing golf. His entire illustration of having faith in oneself was getting a hole in one and not believing the ball is yours. I mention it because the same church is hosting a golfing event after the conference with a costly sign up, surely just a coincidence. This gets back to the consumerism and materialism of it all. Then, thank the gods, it was the end of day one and I got the hell out of there. Simply watching this stuff on YouTube doesn't capture the pure energy though, you actually have to be there to realize just how crazy and malicious it really is, not even just the speakers but the audience.

Opening Ceremonies - Day 2

I did not want to go back, but this was where the real meat of the event was, including the main speakers and the ability to choose one (out of fifty) forty-five minute workshops. 9am is way too goddamned early for the overstimulation of a modern Christian rock concert, and the only possible intent can be disorientation and disassociation before the preaching begins. What was truly bizarre to me was their use of “Jesus” as a magical word or invocation, the “most powerful word of all.”

Luke Barnett - Day 2

Without skipping a beat, Luke started by encouraging the audience to buy his new book, as well as the merchandise being sold for the conference. Central to his sermon was how god has blessed them with so much land, money, staff members, spouses, descendants, and so on, again this very materialistic, consumerist mindset. I think almost every single speaker touched on these things, especially how much money god had brought them and their churches. They don’t seem even slightly aware that this is an assimilation into modern culture, rather than any kind of revolt against it.

Barnett preached against paganism, witchcraft, magic, and all related things, quoting Revelations 2:2 that “you cannot tolerate evil men.” This tied into a theme that TPUSA had at the event: “tolerance is not a commandment.” I actually agree with both statements, it is why I cannot tolerate people like the Barnetts, TPUSA, and the sheep they prey upon. You do not have to tolerate the closed minded, nationalistic hate promoted by groups like this, simple as that. Funny enough, later speakers in the day would spend a great deal of energy complaining that Christian Nationalism is not being tolerated by culture at large (along with claims of outright persecution, of course).

To put Jesus before everything else, that is what Luke held as the most important take away, though he only got to this after promoting his own consumer content.

Matt Barnett - Day 2

“Be a blessing, not a success.” This was the big quote Matt put out to the audience before preaching about his success with the church in California. Indeed it was so successful people like Kanye West donated money, and while Matt never thought he would be a great pastor, now he has accomplished all this amazing stuff. Good thing we focus on being a blessing, not a success! I am not kidding, I assume a video will go up sometime soon, this was the majority of his sermon.

Second in importance was the need to target the marginalized and needy who have nothing else, that way you can bring them to Christ through helping them. Eventually you may just be able to convert them and give them a purpose in life, the life that they owe to Jesus: preaching. Joining evangelical colleges. Selling merchandise. It was this method that led to Matt’s success… erm, I mean blessing.

This was hard for me. Helping the marginalized and needy can be an objectively good thing to do, but a broken clock is right twice a day. Behind this illusion of altruism is a selfishness that just so happens to increase the wealth of the pastor(s), while also spreading the word of the church. It is a double-edged sword here, how do we condemn malicious religious intent without condemning the actual good these groups sometimes do? Surely there is a way an all-powerful, all-loving god could help the marginalized and the needy without demanding worship, submission, and proselytization of them?

Trafficking Panel

This leads well into the panel on stopping human trafficking. I am not going to get much into this, again this is a good idea that ends up having malicious intent behind it. Locking up traffickers and helping their victims is absolutely a noble cause, the broken clock is right for the second time today. But the more the panel went on, the more it became clear that the goal was to push Christianity on those who are at the lowest, most vulnerable place in their lives. They actually mentioned that god funds those who basically target those marginalized by society. It is the same false altruism as seen in Matt Barnett. In the end there is not much to say, if you are reading this you probably already get the dilemma. Again, surely this omni-deity that just wants what is best for everybody could help end human trafficking without requiring worship, submission, and proselytization?

They also referred to “the serpent” (so the devil) as “the first defiler.” I cannot even imagine the mindset required to compare gifting someone with moral knowledge and life to the abuse of children, it is absolutely beyond absurd.

…knowledge is good, And Life is good; and how can both be evil? - Lucifer, “Cain: A Mystery”

“All Conflict is Theological” with Seth Gruber

This was the big one, the breakout session that could only fit so many people, one of fifty to choose from. I did not realize who Gruber was at all (he’s the “unaborted” guy), I just saw the name of the class and knew it was the one I had to check out. I hated this guy. Just a cocky, locker room, bro-type, who often fell back on literal trolling tactics to mock his opponents who were not there to even respond. I’ve long said I am a moral realist, and if I ever met a man radiating just vile evil (outside of social work), it was this guy.

What I found myself in was a modern sermon against Gnostic heresy, I had chosen wisely. You see, apparently all “leftism” (aka anything not Christian Nationalism) is a manifestation of Gnostic Dualism, a preference for the conscious will to define one’s identity rather than the body. You see, to him the truth is biological and material essentialism. He really doubled down on Yahweh being this controlling demiurgic god of matter, and it's hard to disagree with that. To him, the body is as, if not more important than, the mind, something that actually shocked me. To him, the body is central to identity rather than the will. He blames this preference for the will for things like abortion, transgenderism, homosexuality, euthanasia, transhumanism, and several more examples (it was only 45 minutes). For instance, he says that modern society says abortion is okay because a fetus is “not a person,” as it lacks personhood because it does not have a conscious self. He says that transgenderism is rooted in the idea that what you feel like overrides what you are “biologically,” same with homosexuality overriding a supposedly biological drive to reproduce. He sees the root of all this in Gnostic Dualism.

Well, I was confused as shit to be honest. Gruber might be onto something. He is honestly right in a way, it is his view that this is somehow bad that disgusts me. The will DOES override the body, it IS more important than nature and biology and matter. I have never been more pro-choice/LGBTQ+/generally “left” than when Gruber was saying this stuff, like “hell yeah, fuck this material world!” It ties to how I've called Transition one of the most intense of black magical acts materially speaking.

What I found was that Gruber is preaching Yahweh literally as the Gnostic Demiurge, as the god who creates and enslaves us to matter, who we must be subservient to or suffer, and he rejects body/spirit dualism. Gruber’s biggest fear is that “if nature does not define personhood, the state will.” No, man. The INDIVIDUAL can, should, and hopefully will. Yes it MAY BE the state to define it, but he’s creating a false dichotomy because the whole conference relies on self-rejection and self-hatred, to become a tool for Yahweh and to see yourself as a disgusting sinner in need of saving. It is just as bad for the church to define personhood as the state, instead it is the choice of every individual who is able to make that choice. Indeed in many cases it may be worse for the church to define it than the state.

Gruber is also convinced of a “slippery slope of tolerance,” again tying into the whole theme that we do not have to tolerate “evil.” As always, he fails to recognize that it is RHP tyranny which best aligns with moral evil. He says that tolerance for sin leads to acceptance of sin, then celebration of sin, and finally participation in sin, which will eventually become forced. If you are connecting the dots already, yes, the guy is afraid that he is going to be forced to “participate in” something like homosexuality, though does not explain exactly how the state plans to make people homosexual…

In the end his conclusion is that everything goes back to Gnostic Dualism, that this great heresy is the center of all that the Christian Nationalists see wrong in the world. In some ways, I agree, I just see it in the complete inverse of Gruber. Yes, what he calls Gnostic Dualism is critical to the idea that mind > matter, but to him this is horrifying, and to me it is great progress. At the same time we both agree society is in a state of decline, but I certainly do not agree it is because of individuation. Quite the opposite, individuation is how we get out of this nightmare we find ourselves in, not further centuries of submission to a tyrannical god and demonizing religion.

It was funny to me, he claimed that no argument or evidence has been given for this dualism, which is hilariously false. If you didn't know who he was, you may even have confused him for a militant physicalist. If I thought it would matter at all I'd follow up with him about it, but no thanks.

Jack Hibbs - Day 2

Never heard of this guy, but his whole thing was that he is banned or something from DC for preaching the gospel. Jack really got the persecution complex bubbling up to the surface, claiming that these ultra-wealthy people in the most popular religion in America are being targeted if they so much as preach about Jesus and repentance. To Jack, it is clear to anyone who looks at history that America was intended to be a Christian nation, and that we cannot and should not separate church and state. In a way he embraced the term “Christian Nationalist,” accusing the term of being meaningless and made up as anti-Christian propaganda.

He also believes that the current decline of society is caused by “demonic influence,” this just comes up over and over again. It is far less surprising to me now that a new Satanic Panic is brewing, there is a very intense and ever present belief in spiritual warfare going on here. To be frank we were well over 24 hours in, and my patience and tolerance were wearing quite thin (the Gruber class was insane to be in tbh). In fact during this sermon I began the first draft of this article, I just had to start venting it from my system.

Political Panel - Day 2

Talk of election fraud is still going strong, with the first order of business being to call upon the audience to become official pollers for the upcoming elections. They preached that the church getting involved with every level of the state is exactly what the founding fathers wanted when they founded the country, making it a duty of some sort. They told us to simply look at history to confirm this, so I looked and found all the familiar quotes from the founders about how they hated Christianity and organized religion, as expected. How they literally embraced the serpent and demanded “don't tread on me” in a rejection of Genesis 3. The panel said that nationalism is nothing more than a love for one’s country, and that the negative connotations are essentially propaganda.

Ironically they started talking about wolves in sheep's clothing, and how the church could never be infiltrated. That outsiders were too afraid to come inside and that demons quake with fear when they pass by. To not burst out laughing was a personally historic show of self-restraint, even more funny for reasons I will cover more below. It is because their church makes hell tremble that the church is “being persecuted.”

The most esteemed member of the panel was former politician/lobbyist Bob McEwan, who “explained” that basically every imaginable consumable, product, advancement, etc. is rooted in the United States, that if the U.S. failed the whole world would fail. Indeed, Satan targets America in specific (because surely there is nowhere Christians are more persecuted…) because if he gets America, the world will follow. I honestly don’t think I understood the Christian Nationalist view of the country fully until this guy spoke. Perhaps the most insane single idea in my two days in this nightmare world, McEwan stated that the only day which would be on par with independence day would be that day of the conference, 2024.

Charlie Kirk - Day 2

The last thing I stayed for was Charlie Kirk’s official bullshit and some of the Q&A. Again he focused on “liberty” against the tyrants of the “left” who are “persecuting” the church. He condemned Christianity at large for being subservient to “secular” society, falling in line. He again calls for revival and revolution, saying that they must “draw a line in the sand” and “demand the welfare of the nation” (in accordance with Christian Nationalism, of course). Again, everything at odds with his views are simply the result of demonic influence. I would say more but this guy is way more famous than he deserves, and is basically the program that most other Nationalist NPCs run on. He’s shocking and hateful and all that, and the audience’s love for him is perhaps even more frightening. But at this point I was done.

I stayed for the first two questions, one where Kirk tore apart a woman for worrying about how to be political without losing tax exemption, and the other where he concluded that the “alphabet mafia” (dog whistle for LGBTQ+) is seeking to “groom” and “recruit” children because they “cannot reproduce.” I literally don’t even know what the fuck to say to that. It was just such a perfect culmination and compilation of all the endless bullshit I had heard over the past two days, and I was ready to leave the place behind and never look back.

Magic

Besides knowledge, my “adventure” was a test of magic in several ways. One of the things I was actually surprised by was it being a test of my ability to blend, to be a chameleon, to hide my inner thoughts and smile/nod along to ideas that disgust me. Even a few years back I’d have gotten myself kicked out of that place in the first few hours, probably wouldn’t even have removed my necklace or covered my tattoos. It was a test of growth and resilience, essentially, and might be something I’d recommend, but in a less crazy setting. I also just believe one needs to expose themselves to the evil in this world, as I have written about before.

I have a new motto, courtesy of Byron: “His evil is not good!” I was repeating this constantly inside, and each time it only increased in power. That moment when they were praising god for being so strong that no outsider would dare sit among them, that was obscenely empowering. Demons “tremble as they pass” they preached, and yet a long time devotee of the Left Hand Path not only sat among you, but climbed to the top of your prayer mountain and spoke much more powerful words than “Jesus” up there. Even left a long-empowered pentagram upon the peak. (I have to say the climb made me think of Gnostic Dualism, as my academic body struggled but my LHP soul persisted. Today I feel great, but RIP legs!) I rarely use Thoughtforms but can tell you my Sha animal was perfectly happy to roam free. It was interesting though, I've theorized that successful black magic separates the individual from the RHP so much that people just subconsciously avoid you. I had said and done nothing to be outcasted, had no tattoos or pendants showing, and was not seen by any upon the mountain (which only had about 5 people on it anyways). But both day 2 sessions found me with 5 or more empty seats next to me in the otherwise packed megachurch.

The last thing I'll touch on is forcing myself to shake the hand of evil. I don't know why, I just knew I had to shake hands with whichever of these speakers I could. On one hand I just needed to know what it felt like, if I'm to study religion it won't be the last time I speak to a person like that. On the other hand, I wanted them to shake mine, to know they've interacted with a person like me even if they don't.

Satanism

Finally, I want to tie this all into Satanism. On one hand, the irony in the “liberty against tyranny” rhetoric is astronomical. You'd think you were reading the likes of the Romantic Satanists! It recalls the French Revolution, or the Satan of Blake, Byron, and Shelley, who rebels against the “omnipotent tyrant” and curses him with eternal misery. Liberty is antithetical to Christian Nationalism, which seeks to force their way upon the world at large. It is antithetical to all true RHP ideology because the individual must always remain subservient. The quest for liberty is why the literary Satan of Christianity rebels and falls, why he is damned, why he encouraged us to take the free will given by eternal life and knowledge in the garden of Eden. This goes back to my writing about how ridiculous it is that these people utilize the Gadsden flag, their entire, explicit goal is to tread upon others, to “come with a sword” as Christ did. They are conquerors, I'm not speaking only historically, but presently. Charlie Kirk and everyone else do not give the slightest shit about true liberty, they simply want the liberty to dominate for themselves.

On the other hand, some of the general ideas are so similar to the Nationalistic pseudo-Satanism of groups like the ONA that it sort of tripped me out. Which really helps explain why the liberation LHP stuff seems to contradict, as they don't mesh with far right ideology in the slightest. The use of music to create a different state, the call to infiltrate and overtake institutions, the goal to become a dwelling for the divine/acausal to cause long term/aeonic change, the belief that they need to save the declining society, the alt-right rhetoric, and of course Nationalism itself. Obviously this can apply to plenty of RHP groups but I just kept thinking back to ONA.

In the end, I expected the whole thing to be rather banal and expected, but it had a significant impact on me. These people are everywhere, they are of malicious intent, they are the reality behind the Satanic Panic bullshit they spread as a form of projection. Everything they accuse “Satanism” of is what they are doing themselves. Worshiping human sacrifice, infiltrating the government to force society into their religion, sneaking into schools, targeting children… There is indeed a somewhat underground, evil, world dominating cult to panic about: Christian Nationalism.

The Dream Conference succeeded in its goal: I feel spiritually moved, and moved towards activism. I just doubt it's the way they intended. These people need to be countered, I actually somewhat understand the importance of “lesser evils” now. I've even been considering trying to contact TST or the news to see if we can get protests at freedom night and stuff, news coverage, anything. But more than that, I feel the call of Satanism again. Have you ever heard someone say the term, “I will give you something to cry about?” These groups are already taking the action they would if they were being “persecuted,” and they themselves state that tolerance is not a commandment, that we cannot tolerate evil men. So let’s not tolerate it. We don’t need this childish, dress up, trolling Satanism most think of now, but a very serious and mature form that can counter this bullshit without falling to their level, without becoming who they've become. A true rebirth of Romantic Satanism, not some dark, Christianized polytheism, nor some edgy, childish trolling. A Romantic, intellectual, literary, and active Satanism intent on actually countering this instead of just making headlines/money or hiding in the shadows.

Do not misunderstand, I do NOT retract my condemnation of Theistic Satanism nor of certain Atheistic Groups. The Devil is a Christian invention and fiction, he and demons are not our gods, nor can they ever be free of Christianity. Thus Satanism should be embraced as a direct response to Christianity, and nothing more. I am not encouraging people to believe in some objectively existent, esoteric entity, but rather the literary Satan in response to the literary fiction that drives things like Christian Nationalism. At the same time, it is long past time we drop all the childish, edgy, vile imagery that almost all Satanic groups and individuals seem to promote, and replace it with the centuries of rehabilitation into a shining beacon of actual liberty and individualism.

His evil is not good! Ave Satanas!

Hi all, Scarabs here. I am going to be starting fresh as I get into my academic career. The sub and the posts on it will remain (maybe besides some poems), and I will keep it updated, I just have a new user name. I am going to 86 my old account in a week or so, please save anything you may want comment wise as they will probably become harder to find. If there is something specific you are not finding feel free to contact me.

This still stands

YouTube: https://youtu.be/ukGdsXc_bdc?si=Udv4fyX1zseqK5iW

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5dAjnqQvWubGxYOg403yYk?si=d15gz59bQFmxs5Wy5uJRjQ

I'm off most social media, if you like please feel free to share.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeabhCemr4s

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bXDjLE8hNVFYroF6AN8r4

I am off most social media, if you know someone who would like this please do share.

Contact: XeperamaSet@gmail.com

Investigating Cain in Judaism, Christianity, and Byronic Myth: https://xeperamaset.wixsite.com/xeper/post/investigating-cain-in-judaism-christianity-and-byronic-myth

Dualistic Dehumanization: https://xeperamaset.wixsite.com/xeper/post/dualistic-dehumanization-term-paper-ona-case-study

Book I referenced: Romantic Satanism Myth and the Historical Moment in Blake, Shelley, and Byron by Peter A. Schock

00:00 Intro and Background 09:00 The Story 38:05 Critical Questions 49:30 Related Poetry 57:35 Contemporary Satanism 01:01:00 Satanism and I 01:05:20 Conclusion

Dear Reddit,

I greatly appreciate the love and support over the years, without the positives of this community I likely would have quit the path that's now made me who I am. I even started trying to screenshot them to reference when self doubt overwhelms me, and I'll always be thankful to those who have reached out.

I can't help but notice how unbelievably awful Reddit has become. I've been banned from Satanic subs and pagan subs alike for things like daring to be a theist or daring to oppose the colonial importance given to skin color. I've been banned from conservative and democratic subs for only agreeing partially with some of their values, but not entirely. I've tortured myself against trolls and probably bots trying to give value to things our "postmodern" world couldn't value any less, and it's impossible to ignore anymore the negative impact of a garbage dump like this on my life, relationships, and those of others. It's not like these petty bans are exclusive to Reddit, they happen everywhere all the time, how many have rejected you already for not blindly sharing their beliefs, values, and practices?

Reddit makes me a sarcastic, lazy, frustrated jerk, and consumes so much time that can be spent on things and people that matter in any way. And you start to think your experiences here describe real life, which makes you misanthropic as all hell because this place is trash. I've been on reddit a long time, far too long. I recently started my MA in religious studies, plus took some grad philosophy classes for fun, and it made me realize how useless the debate side of reddit is. Nobody in a million years would take such dedicated subs seriously outside of the website itself. But hey there's more than debate, there's also community. Except reddit is a nightmare, where even so called progressive or pagan thinkers insist on upholding the values of Christian colonialism.

It's not the first time I've tried to leave Reddit, but it's the only "social media" that remains for me so eventually it will take. And I recommend you leave as well. Each time I leave I've taken some with me and always feel gross when I come back. Do something with all this time. Read, write, record, draw, play, communicate. Disconnect from the hivemind because it's bad to start with and worse the less you agree with it. Watch any dope video about how Reddit is evil (the one i was going to link is gone lol) and this one on how social media is ruining everything..

Community is important. Collaboration is important. You can reach me via my blog or email, found through my sub which will stay up. I'll check in here for pms and stuff, might even keep the sub updated, but otherwise I'm pretty over it at this point. If I can't stay off I'll delete the account. Thanks again for everything, I hope to hear from you and wish you the best.

Version 2 of the free book is now up, just added mainly Temples of Setesh and the Praise 5 Times to Setesh. Unfortunately Amazon will not allow me to update the text for some reason, and I still cannot get the hard cover to publish. At this time I am just abandoning Amazon and the hard copy, it will as always remain freely available:

https://old.reddit.com/r/WanderingInDarkness/comments/16g1bv6/wandering_in_darkness_the_book_freely_available/

This is just a reddit conversion of my "Redeeming the Egyptian God of Darkness." As of 1/2 it is still in progress.

Part 1: Lord of Darkness, Storms, and the Northern Skies

Part 2 and 3: The Coming of Asar and A Divine Outcast

It appears that there is very little known about the Temples of Setesh overall. I am already old enough to remember getting into modern polytheism and the Temples of Setesh being seen as a myth, with esotericism often being slower moving than even academia in my experience, and the god having an overall negative image. While some Temples were already known in Egyptology (such as via Petrie and Brunton), it is hard to imagine or remember how challenging it was to obtain such knowledge before the growth of the internet. It makes sense, time is not only unkind, but Setesh was actively targeted, in specific, after the 20th Dynasty. In my studies I have not found too much on the Temples of Setesh, and am always looking for more, but here I just wanted to compile some of what I have found. All credit goes to the amazing individuals cited, this is a bare bones introduction and the references contain more details such as dimensions, more thorough inventories, materials, and anything else not directly tied to to the god.

Temple of Nubt

This is likely the oldest Temple, with Nubt being one of the original sacred sites to Setesh. Petrie et al (1896) found pottery dating to at least the 4th Dynasty, as well as the 12th (66), though Petrie believed the Temple to have been built in the 18th. Ian Taylor (2016) argued that the 4th Dynasty pottery and mudbrick walls likely implies that the Temple had been worked on since the Old Kingdom (113), which fits considering it was one of the god’s original homes. The small Temple and related pyramid sat at the edge of the desert (Petrie 1896, 65), which Setesh was associated with. The site contained images of hippos (66) who were sacred to Setesh, as well as Setesh giving life to Horus, which was added in the 18th Dynasty by Thutmose III during his restoration of the Temple (67, 70) where the king was blessed as "beloved of Setesh" (68). Amenhotep II did further renovations in the 18th Dynasty. Ramses II worked on the Temple in the 19th Dynasty, and from these two Dynasties we find many beautiful items related to the god, including a copper ax, several tablets, and a seven foot tall Was Scepter (68). Ramses Ill may have been the last to work on the Temple, and during that time in the 20th Dynasty lintels were carved giving praise to Setesh, Amun, and Ra (70), who were often worshiped together in the New Kingdom. Setesh is also shown as a winged, bull headed god here (Martinez n.d., 11). An offering table from Seti I, showing Setesh on a throne and Seti before him “adoring the god four times,” possibly comes from this Temple or at least locale as well (Brand 2000, 211-212).

Temple of Setesh at Nubt: https://imgur.com/wphowZs

Pyramid and Temple Town at Nubt: https://imgur.com/9txVRHy

Lintel of Thutmose III at Nubt Temple: https://imgur.com/U9i2Ova

Setesh and Amun at the Nubt Temple: https://imgur.com/JigVL9w

Items related to Setesh at Nubt Temple: https://imgur.com/q51JEsA

Seti's table: https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/549218 and https://www.joanlansberry.com/setfind/seti1.html

Temple of Dakhleh Oasis

Possibly now the most studied Temple of Setesh is that of Mut eI-Kharab, capital of the Dakhleh Oasis, where Setesh worship survived into the Late Period after being driven from the Nile area in the Third Intermediate Period. We have confirmation that the main Temple here was dedicated to Setesh as “Lord of the Oasis,” along with several other deities (Hope 2003, 51). This Temple was in full swing by at least the 21st Dynasty, possibly being founded in Dynasty 18 (73), though pottery at the site goes back to the 6th (51). The site may even date to the 4th Dynasty (73). Whether there was an official Temple there the whole time or not, worship of Setesh in the Oasis dates back to at least the Old Kingdom (73). Here the Libyan connections to Setesh (with one of his original forms, Ash, possibly being Libyan) were strengthened (74). As was common in the New Kingdom, Setesh was worshiped alongside and in relation to Amun, Atum, and Ra, as well as Thoth, who took over the positive aspects of Setesh once demonization hit the Oasis (74).

In their followup, Hope and Olaf (2011) confirm that the Temple was functioning at least in the Ramesside Period (143), and reinforce the strong connections between Setesh, Amun, and Ra (146). We even have confirmation of “prophets” to Setesh, and that the priesthoods were shared between these deities (146). Due to its isolation and separation from the Nile, the worship of Setesh survived here through the Roman Period without issue (153), providing one of the most “recent” insights into Temples of the god. Finally, Nephthys was worshiped at Mut el-Kharab alongside her consort, and the most common offering to them was wine (Long 2015, 98).

Temple of Matmar

The Temple of Setesh at Matmar was established during the 19th Dynasty, likely by Ramses II, when he tore down a Temple to the Aten at the same site (Brunton 1948, 65; Taylor 2016, 116). A stela of Setesh, Tauret, and Ptah was found here (Brunton 1948, 61), Setesh was shown as a winged deity with Hittite features (61), and we have written confirmation Setesh was the patron deity (62, 65). Within the Temple, Ramses was praised as "beloved of Setesh" (63), and the whole thing really highlights how important Setesh was in defeating Atenism. Within the Temple and city, the most frequently used colors for Setesh are red, blue, and yellow (61, 62, 65, 72). The city was also devoted to Setesh, and many had personal items revering the god, including plaques, scarabs, statues, ivory, items equating Setesh and Baal, and Setesh is even seen wearing the double crown (Brunton 1948, 65, 69, 72; Taylor 2016, 119). While it was not found in the Temple area, and predates it by many centuries (Dyn 5-10), I always found it interesting that we find one of the earliest uses of a pentagram I have seen for a personal symbol, as a potter's mark, here at Matmar (plate XXXIV).

Temple at Matmar: https://imgur.com/zTuyZev

Setesh Items: https://imgur.com/XgkLPqR

Setesh, Tauret, and Ptah: https://imgur.com/1E9hGet

Pottery Marks Dyn V-X: https://imgur.com/dMd4TY3

Temple of Avaris

While it is known that Setesh worship blossomed at Avaris under the Hyksos, the 400 Year Stela suggests this area was sacred to the god before the Hyksos even arrived or gained power. Indeed his worship may date to Dynasty 12 in the area (Martinez n.d., 21). Either way, the Hyksos king Apep built a temple to Setesh, his “father,” there (Martinez n.d., 21; Taylor 2016, 122), which may have been where Seti l and Ramses I served as priests to their patron. This Temple rested South of the other Temples (Martinez n.d., 21), as we would also see in Pi-Ramses.

Pi-Ramses, City of Setesh?

In Priests of Ancient Egypt (reprint, 2015), Serge Sauneron stated: “…wearied of Thebes and of its too enterprising priests, he went to build a new capital, Pi-Ramses, in the Eastern Delta, where he could worship at his ease the gods dearest to him, and accord to Amon only second place” (183-184). This city was located in the Nile Delta near Avaris, a sacred city of Setesh discussed above, tying its creation to the worship of the god. While technically founded in the 18th Dynasty, with the Temple of Setesh being restored by Seti I (Bard 1999, 953), the city became the capital under Ramses II, and was inhabited through the 20th Dynasty before demonization of the deity began (Taylor 2016, 123-124). The city was broken into four parts, each dedicated to a deity: Setesh in the South, Amun in the West, Wadjet the serpent goddess in the North, and Astarte in the East. Astarte was a Syrian goddess and foreign wife of Setesh with many deepening ties to the god in the New Kingdom, Setesh himself being the god of foreigners, and other foreign gods or forms were worshiped in the city, including Setesh as Baal (Bard 1999, 789; Taylor 2016, 124). Pi-Ramses housed many foreign citizens who all lived in peace with each other, including the formerly enemy Hittites (Bard 1999, 219, 788; Taylor 2016, 124). It has been theorized that part of the reason Pi-Ramses was abandoned was due to the demonization of Setesh (Bard 1999, 922). It is possibly from this Temple of Setesh that we get the 400 Year Stela, as it was found at Tanis but dates to at least Ramses II, so was likely moved when Setesh worship was driven out of Pi-Ramses. (921-922).

Misc Temples

“They see how Seth is fallen on his side, robbed of land in all his places, Sw laments, Wns mourns. Lamentations goes round in Oxyrhynchus. The oasis of Kharga and the oasis of Dakhla are in affliction. Disaster goes about in them. Cynopolis makes plaint; its lord is not in his territory. wADt (10th Nome of Upper Egypt) is a desolate place. Ombos is pulled down. Their temples are destroyed. All who belonged to them, are not. Their lord is not, he who thinks of enmity is not.” - Lamentation for Setesh from “Seth: God of Confusion” by Herman te Velde, page 115

There may have been a Temple of Setesh at Saka, where he was linked to Amun and worshiped as a Bull (Martinez n.d.,16). I believe this was related to Bata the Bull in the Tale of Two Brothers but am not 100% sure.

At Sw, said to be where Setesh was born, there was a Temple to the god starting in the 12th Dynasty (19). Ramses III made a record of there being such a Temple as well (19).

At Sepermeru there appears to have been Temples to both Setesh and Nephthys (17-18; Bard 1999, 718; Taylor 2016, 119).

A Temple to Setesh is said to have existed in Medjem (Martinez n.d., 22).

Finally, there is a Temple to Thoth in Ankh, which may have overwritten a Temple to Setesh there, or at least had a significant chapel/shrine to the deity (Taylor 2016, 146).

Praises from his Temples

”...Set of Nubit, son of Nut, very valorous, at the front of the sacred barque…” - Nubt

”Set Nubit lord of the South land, great god, Lord of Heaven, fair Child of Ra. Giving praise to thy Ka, Set, the very valorous…” - Nubt

”Homage to your Ka, Seth… [of Ombos, Lord of Upper Egypt, Great God].” - Mut el-Kharab

”Year 400, the fourth month of the season of Shammu, the fourth day of the king of Upper and Lower Egypt, Seth-Great-of-valor, son of Re whom he loves, Nubti, beloved by Re-Hor-akhty, may he live forever… Hail to thee, o Seth, son of Nut, great of strength in the boat of millions of years, in the bow of the ship of Re, the great screamer… [ mayest thou ] give me a good time for following your Ka…” - 400 Year Stela

References

• Bard, Kathryn A. Encyclopedia of the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt. London: Routledge, 1999.

• Brand, Peter James. The Monuments of Seti I: Epigraphic, Historical and Art Historical Analysis. Leiden: Brill, 2000.

• Brunton, Guy. Matmar. London: Bernard Quaritch LTD., 1948.

• Hope, C. A. "The 2001-2 Excavations Mut El-Kharab in the Dakhleh Oasis, Egypt." The Artifact. Pacific Rim Archaeology 26 (2003): 51–76.

• Hope, C. A., and Olaf Kaper. "Egyptian Interests in the Oases in the New Kingdom and a New Stela for Seth from Mut El-Kharab." Essay. In Ramesside Studies in Honour of K.A. Kitchen, edited by Mark Collier and S. R. Snape, 219–36. Bolton: Rutherford Press, 2011.

• Kaper, Olaf. "Two Decorated Blocks from the Temple of Seth in Mut El-Kharab."

• Long, Richard J. “Ancient Cultures at Monash University .” In Proceedings of a Conference Held between 18–20 October 2013 on Approaches to Studying the Ancient Past. Oxford, England: Archaeopress, 2015.

• Martinez, Maria Jose Amor. "The Sites of Seth." Thesis, University of Manchester, n.d.

• Monfort, R. (2011, June 6). Tour Egypt. The 400 year stela. https://www.touregypt.net/400yearstele.htm

• Petrie, Flinders, James Edward Quibell, and F. C. J. Spurrell. Naqada and Ballas. London: Bernard Quaritch, 1896.

• Sauneron, Serge S. Priests of Ancient Egypt - Classic Reprint. London: Forgotten Books, 2015.

• Taylor, Ian Robert. "Deconstructing the Iconography of Seth." Dissertation, University of Birmingham, 2016.

• Velde, Herman te. Seth, God of Confusion. Leiden: Brill, 1967.

Better formatting as always: https://xeperamaset.wixsite.com/xeper/post/pluralism-resolution

The resolution (at least the public one) I have for myself this December 21st is to adopt Metaphysical Pluralism, which I will define in a moment. This write-up is mostly for myself as it is how I process things, but I figured it could be beneficial for others.

Definitions

Metaphysical System: a provisional framework for understanding reality.

Metaphysical Totalitarianism (MT): there is one single valid metaphysical system, any deviation from it is invalid.

Metaphysical Pluralism (MP): there is more than one valid metaphysical system, deviation from one may not mean invalidity in general.

Rejecting Metaphysical Totalitarianism (MT)

1. If MT is true, then only one metaphysical system can be rationally justified. [If P then Q]

2. More than one metaphysical system can be rationally justified. [~Q]*

3. Therefore MT is not true. [~P]

Accepting Metaphysical Pluralism (MP)

1. Either MT or MP is true. [P xor Q]

2. MT is false. [~P]

3. Therefore MP is true. [Q]**

*Premise 1.2 (more than one metaphysical system can be rationally justified) is best illustrated in our common rejection of solipsism. Solipsism, the idea that only one’s own mind exists, is a metaphysical system which we have no conceivable way of proving or disproving with any certainty. While it may be true that “I exist” is the only thing we can be metaphysically certain of, few people go on to believe that other people exist in a way different from themselves. In other words, the vast majority of us accept that others are conscious in the same way we are, that “I exist” is as true for them as us, despite the epistemological reality that we can never conceivably prove this. Not only is solipsism rationally justifiable, but the rejection of it is also rationally justifiable, which we seem to implicitly acknowledge. Here already we have proof of 1.2.

Tied into this premise is the concept of epistemological friendliness, the idea that people can come to different conclusions than us while being just as rational as we are. An example I like is how an atheist who has never experienced (or at least never recognized) the divine may be justified in their disbelief, but a theist who has many divine experiences may only be justified in accepting theism. Or someone who has never seen (or recognized) a ghost may not believe in them, but for someone who grew up in a haunted house it would be disbelief that is irrational.

These all tie into the fact that we seem incapable of achieving metaphysical certainty on most topics. Thousands of years have shown we cannot “prove” which metaphysical system is right, if gods exist or not, if ghosts are real, and so on. The biggest take away from science and philosophy should be that ideas will always be in competition with each other, to think otherwise is a pipe dream. Thus we are led to Metaphysical Pluralism.

** The acceptance of Metaphysical Pluralism is not synonymous with the acceptance of Relativism. MP does not imply that each and every metaphysical system is rationally justifiable, only that more than one can be. To use the square of opposition, “some metaphysical systems are rationally justifiable, some metaphysical systems are NOT rationally justifiable.” This rejects "all metaphysical systems are rationally justifiable" and "no metaphysical systems are rationally justifiable."

Science and logic can certainly disprove things, the problem is they seem incapable of proving the majority of things in the most pure, metaphysically certain sense. Indeed neither can even disprove solipsism with any certainty, despite us (including me) commonly rejecting it. Either Solipsism or Non-Solipsism may be true, either Theism or Atheism may be true, but on the other hand, the physical world being created 6,000 years ago does NOT appear to be true. An all-loving, all-powerful god does not appear to be true. A system that believes abusing children is good for them is demonstrably false. So MP does not imply Relativism.

Applications of Pluralism

1. Reality is made of many different things, rather than a singular/unitive whole. I like to say “it is dualism, but worse.” For instance we have matter, and also consciousness, but further we have different forms of consciousness, logical and mathematical law, the gods themselves, so forth and so on. Reductionism contradicts MP as it inevitably leads to MT.

2. There are many valid and valuable forms of knowledge, not just one. For example scientific empiricism is a critically important form of knowledge, but not the sole form. Logic is another. Experience is one that is absolutely central for all of us and much overlooked in modern discourse. Myth can provide deep knowledge, even fiction can. Even revelation is not something to be ignored (though, like empiricism, it cannot be given undue weight).

3. Epistemological Friendliness: I must remember that different, even contradictory paradigms can be reasonably concluded depending on one’s knowledge and experiences. Contradictory as they can be at odds with each other, rather than internally contradictory. As mentioned, someone who has no experiences they would categorize as divine may be valid in atheism, whereas one who has such experiences may only be valid in theism. Atheism and theism obviously cannot both be true, but both can be reasonably concluded with consistent internal reason/evidence. Even as a polytheist I must realize that if someone is raised in monotheism, has a divine experience, and the only god they experience literally says “I am the only one,” it only makes sense they would grow deeper roots into monotheism. This does not mean I believe monotheism is TRUE, but I can understand why someone may conclude it without them being inherently irrational. Debate is somewhat pointless, the focus should be more on philosophical questioning to help individuation.

4. Pragmatism. Multiple (non)spiritual paths can lead to valid and valuable ends for the individual, there is not one true religion or path. For instance both the RHP and LHP can be right for the individual depending on who they are, what they desire, etc. Practices that have no value or even use for me may be extremely valuable and useful to others, and that is just as true as what works for me. A good example is when I was a social worker and families would bond over things like prayer boxes or going to church. MT would imply I must step in and stop this irrationality, that it is not valid, but I would never have done such a thing and was right not to. Likewise while I have little use for ceremonial magic it may be critical for another, and thus projecting my own needs and experience onto them may easily do more harm than good.

5. Obviously then people can value things in general which I have no value for. As this is already covered I will reiterate that I am not implying Relativism here. If someone gains the same power from their cross that another does from their pentagram, and another from their family crest, that is all equally valid. This does NOT imply something like a value of abuse is equally valid, and we will dive into morality in a moment.

6. Keep in mind that metaphysical systems quite alien to your own may have much to offer, and that all of one’s own cultures are likely flawed the same as any other. Not much more to say.

7. Look up to the Egyptians. There is not “one true myth.” The importance of a god or symbol depends on the population you are addressing. Myths and symbols provide as much knowledge as modern methods. Look for the similarities across metaphysical systems like Setesh and Baal, Djehuty and Ningishzida, the Neteru and the Platonic Forms, etc. Have altars to many gods and ideas, many loved ones, to wants and desires.

The Morality Clause

All Metaphysical Pluralism must be rooted in morality. Thus a metaphysical system which promotes or seeks to violate the wills of others is not one we must honor and consider, a system being immoral invalidates it from acceptance. That said, it is important to be very aware that something actually seeks to oppress the individual will, and isn’t just something at odds with your metaphysical system.

Metaphysical Totalitarianism: there is one single valid metaphysical system, any deviation from it is invalid.

Metaphysical Pluralism: there is more than one valid metaphysical system, deviation from one may not mean invalidity in general.

Rejecting Metaphysical Totalitarianism

1. If Metaphysical Totalitarianism is true, then only one metaphysical system can be rationally justified. [If P then Q]

2. More than one metaphysical system can be rationally justified. [~Q]

3. Therefore Metaphysical Totalitarianism is not true. [~P]

Accepting Metaphysical Pluralism

1. Either Metaphysical Totalitarianism or Metaphysical Pluralism is true. [P xor Q]

2. Metaphysical Totalitarianism is false. [~P]

3. Therefore Metaphysical Pluralism is true. [Q]

This has been a highly requested topic for a while now, and was requested again for the podcast. I decided to write this one out for many reasons, including some personal, but also just because I feel they should be articulated in the best way possible, which for me is writing. I plan to use this as a script for a podcast episode at a later date though.

Warning, 5,000+ words.

Today I want to talk about my first, paradigm changing experience with Setesh, my early and current interactions with the gods, how I connect with them (most highly requested topic), and just talk in general about related topics and practices. Then I will dive into the paranormal experiences I have often referenced or briefly touched on, including my life living in a haunted house, my time as a theater projectionist in a building supposedly built on a burial ground, spirits of the forest and desert my group and I have experienced, synchronicities, second hand accounts, and several other paranormal experiences.

First Interaction with Setesh

When I first interacted with the god I had no expectation of doing so. I was rather notoriously opposed to “Setianism,” the ToS, and all related things, not only criticizing but childishly mocking them. I was a staunch atheist, physicalist, determinist, and nihilist-trying-to-be-existentialist, though I did dive into new ageism now and then, even ancient alien theory for a while. But I would have called myself a “gnostic atheist” and was certain we lived in a godless, meaningless universe. My self-image was equally pessimistic, having no hope in my abilities, finding love, maintaining my friendships, overcoming my flaws, I was very much fed up with life and myself.

The event itself was part of an intended psychodramatic ritual to “prove” gods didn’t exist. For a while I had a pastor friend who insisted you just needed to reach out to Yahweh and he would get back, which like many I tried to do and it did not work. My thought was to apply this to all gods I could think of, to give each and every one of them a last, desperate chance before I gave up all hope in them. Long story short, name after name yielded no recognizable results (though to be fair I was hardly giving it the right kind of time or care). As you may predict, the story was different when I called out “Set.”

Since the very day it happened, the best way to describe the immediate response was a light switching off. I specifically say off because it was as if the world “fell away,” like you may expect in a psychedelic trip despite being sober. There was not an illumination in the way of mystics, it was more like a luminous-darkness, with an almost purplish hue. I felt the presence of a being, whom I now know to be Setesh, join me as an equal, again differing from the overpowering nature of most divine experiences. People always ask things like “do you speak to the gods,” and the answer for me is an absolute no. Indeed let it be known, the only voices I hear in my head stem from my own mind. Nor was there some sort of burning bush scenario. I have always described the feeling as “understanding,” like just an innate wisdom passed from Setesh to myself about my nature, the world, and my place in it.

All of this surely happened in moments, and it faded as quickly as it came on. The impact of it, however, has not faded to this day. I remember immediately after the event I went to take a shower, I just felt the need to “start fresh,” not even then knowing Setesh was associated with rain and storms. And I remember my perspectives rapidly shifting by the time I got out. I was not some worthless accident of biology, nor was anybody else, but we were unique, divine individuals far greater than anything of this world. I was not a slave to my genes, biology, and brain, but had the strength and will to fight against them in favor of happiness and growth. Along with this I, again within a few minutes of an experience, rejected determinism and accepted the existence of my free will, rejected physicalism in favor of, at the time, a type of dualism. And while I cannot say I was fully convinced of literal theism in that moment, I certainly knew my anti-theism was objectively wrong. The best part is as the years went on these changes remained, have been observed by more and more people, and I understand them more deeply with each passing year. So perhaps the best way to describe my first interaction with Setesh was him sharing his wisdom of the human condition with me, and it forever changed my life.

Early Interactions with the Gods

One of the two main ways I connected with the gods in the early days was intoxication. This was the lesser of the two, and it was only things like alcohol, valerian root, marijuana, and other less intense substances. Personally I do not recommend this as a long-term method of spiritual development, especially once you get to psychedelics and worse drugs, but that is a rant for another time. More than helping me actually reach the gods, I think intoxication helped me break through my materialist/anti-theistic/anti-paranormal/etc biases more than anything.

What really worked at the time, and which I can in fact recommend, is yoga. I mean this is a very traditional sense, such as simply sitting/laying still and clearing your mind or focusing on a specific goal. Yes, it can be as simple as laying flat and not letting your physical body move, don’t let anyone tell you it must be more complicated. Due to the pain I was having at the time this was much easier to achieve than sitting or standing. Specifically I utilized chakras and kundalini visualizations, which first started my relationship with the divine serpent as well. I sometimes wondered if my pelvic problems could have been related to my “awakening” without preparation, the serpent kind of “busting through” those chakras, but in the end the question wasn’t very relevant.

When I was able to raise the snake all the way to the top (which I attribute more to a visualization than a metaphysical requirement, I used the image to focus my mind and let the world fall away), I would be able to enter what I came to call the garden of the gods. Note that I am not saying this is some objective metaphysical/astral place, I am sure our own psyche plays a huge role in what manifests. Essentially it was this garden floating in space, beautiful beyond belief, stars everywhere, with people and gods walking the aisles, and each having their own throne somewhere within. Here I would mainly interact with Setesh, Djehuty, and Ra at the time, and these interactions were always similar in nature to the first, if expectedly less impactful. The garden was likely an “astral” place to use the term, at least that is always how I understood it. And I remember that if you tried to wrap your mind around the place it would start to fade away, like my concentration was broken.

Current Interaction with the Gods

Intoxication no longer plays a role in my practices, and I would not really describe what I do as yoga anymore. One of the main acts I engage in is utilizing the magic of ancient Egyptian homes and temples. For example keeping a small altar for your patron sheltered away from outside eyes, in my case I have this altar behind the bedroom door. Having altars to the dead is also important throughout the house, as well as invoking basic household gods such as Bes, and we even have a small false door as well for spirits and gods to come and go more easily.

Rather than yoga I would say I practice visualization and what some call “astral projection,” though I never liked that term. Rather than the garden of the gods I have my own place I bring the gods to dwell in. I will not describe this in full, but for instance it consists of a great temple on a forested cliff overlooking a vast desert, the desert being filled with all sorts of cultures and wonders. While I could (but will not) describe the location in detail, upon entering the temple I still experience that overwhelming pandemonium of beings beyond myself, free of this world. In other words I could not describe the inside of the temple, that space is not really mine. Another benefit of this is being able to do magic anywhere at any time. No actual acts or instruments are needed, it can all be done from this “astral” location which is both powerful and extremely useful. Something worth noting is that I am a terrible visualizer, I couldn't even picture the couch on the other side of the room, I cannot picture characters in books, etc, probably due to being on the spectrum. But this realm I could describe clear as day, could even vaguely sketch it. This, to me, lends validity to the objective existence of "astral" temples, it is a real place I observe and visit.

Another thing I will do is things like burning incense before the statues of each deity, not so much to “please them” but because the ancients believed the gods would come to dwell within the smoke, the smoke was itself the god. At our local renaissance festival I managed to find a 6 foot walking staff Was Scepter (unintentional, they had no idea what I was talking about which made it even cooler). Sometimes I will take this throughout the house and instill its energy into the altars and the home itself, almost in the way that some use sage.

My group and I have been formatting plans for a group ritual, and an example of a “formal ritual” I may use is my previously published “Rites of Meskhetyu.” I also recommend reading the Pyramid Texts from a first-person perspective. These more closely resemble classical/ceremonial ritual/magic, which is generally not my main focus.

I would describe actual interactions with the gods in the same way as above, the presence, the innate knowledge, the explicit lack of actual material interaction such as voices or a burning bush. One of the main changes in my years of polytheism is what I have come to think of as “divine hauntings.” In other words, like a friend or mentor would, the gods, ancestral spirits, etc simply come around sometimes. It took several moves for me to realize this, originally I thought I was just doomed to live in haunted houses! Yet with more experimentation it was directly related to the altar being set up and respected, or me engaging in magical acts or priestly duties. Note this is not something only I realized, but multiple friends, exes, and my wife. In my book I actually included this as a danger of stellar magic, for it can be quite spooky if one is unprepared or doesn’t realize the gods are objectively real independent entities.

Finally, studying the stars is a critical act of magic for me, to understand the divine through the maps they leave on our reality. I wrote extensively about this “High Stellar Magic” both on its own and as the final section of my free book.

I would add that in the tradition of ancestor worship, I utilized certain techniques and verses from the pyramid texts to help my best, four-legged friend ascend and stick around. Without getting into detail this included putting his ashes in a canopic jar and keeping them on my altar, as well as reciting verses for the dead in the PTs. Now one important thing to note about me is I only have nightmares when I remember my REM sleep, nobody knows why. The exception to this has been since he passed and these rituals were done, he will come in dreams when I am at my absolute lowest. He further engages in the aforementioned “hauntings,” to the point where our other dogs often react to and give away his presence. The most insane manifestation of this was my wife and I listening to a dog drink from the dog bowl, including his collar hitting the bowl, only to realize both our dogs were on the couch with us staring over to where the food was.

A Haunted House

As mentioned before, I grew up and have lived in a haunted house for the majority of my life. I am not speaking of some sort of family myth, dozens have experienced hauntings over the decades there, some are even afraid to be there alone. As with all paranormal experiences we will discuss, each event has had significant time and energy dedicated to “debunking it,” rarely with success.

Far and away the most common haunting in the house is whoever is in the hallway. Even as a kid I remember being really scared by seeing/hearing someone walking in the hallway at night when everyone was asleep. This has been reported by almost every single childhood friend of mine. Even my most skeptical friend has a memory of being scared by the hallway in the middle of the night. You ask my family or friends and it is unbelievably casual, “yeah there is a ghost in the hallway there.” Simply seeing a shadow or hearing a footstep may not be that interesting of a ghost story, but the consistency of it, plus how many independently have reported it, is what I find really interesting.

Much more convincing and interesting, apparitions are known in the house, and I mean full body solid apparitions scaring the shit out of many different people. The first I remember was a shadow on the living room window of a man wearing an old-school looking detective’s hat. This shadow was there over and over again, seen by family and friends. It was really creepy because we spent hours in the end turning lights off and on, moving things around inside and out, trimming the trees, literally not one thing affected the shadow. Worse was that even when it was not there the living room had this awful energy at night, both myself and friends would not sleep out there alone, and it was during this time a friend and I awoke in terror at what we later found to be identical nightmares. It was well over a decade later that we learned “the hat man” is some sort of widely reported haunting across the world. After the shadow was gone a while the living room no longer felt sketchy.

The most common apparition is that of a little girl, and we have no idea what that is all about. Again this has been seen by numerous people, it especially harassed a specific friend of mine, and he would always freak out reporting that he saw her looking out the dog door at him when in the backyard. We only told him about the ghost after he had seen it several times. She is also known to whisper people’s names when in a room by themselves. The girl became the most interesting of the ghosts because a friend and I actually ran a classic “knock once for yes” experiment with her, to surprising success. Not only did we receive knocks to our questions, but consistent ones. For instance asking if you are a girl got one, asking if you are a boy got two, and both several times over. It was easily one of the most convincing experiences of my life and we still talk about it to this day.

In the miscellaneous category there is too much to even cover. A printer destroying itself when a ghost was asked a question, apparitions walking by doorways, most recently not a month ago my wife saw a full person walk by the back door when nobody was outside, and now will not stay in the house on her own. While there are friends and family who have not experienced anything they are by far in the minority. That said, as my relationship to the gods has deepened and their presence is more known, random hauntings are much lower. Also note that I have left out some of the most personal examples, my father having passed away when I was a child and his presence making itself known quite often, along with my grandfather now.

The Projection Booth

The movie theater I worked at was on one of the only non-native-owned developments on tribal land here. The local reason for this is that the enemies of the tribe had a burial ground underneath the development, and so the natives were never going to use the land anyways. That said everything that opened still had to be blessed by the tribe’s shaman and the whole nine yards. I previously wrote my first weird fiction story based on the booth while in it, "My Time as a Movie Theater Projectionist." There were tons of reports from that place when I got there: tech issues, hearing people running on the roof of the building, and the projection booth was notoriously haunted with the general manager even refusing to leave the lights off when up there. There were dozens of different hauntings so I will just touch on the most widely reported and influential for me.

First is the ghost keys of the booth, a phenomenon everyone who spent any time up there heard and tried to explain away. Essentially in one spot people would always think a projectionist or manager was coming up right behind them because they would hear footsteps and keys right behind them suddenly. Of course they would turn around to find themselves alone. The place was open for at least 5 years under those owners, and both before my time and with me there we tore the place apart trying to explain the sound but never could.

A much more creepy, but equally common experience up there, is what I call the shadow man, and it is also something many people witnessed (or I would not share it here). Basically the booth was a long dark hallway with projectors on either side. Often when on a specific end of the booth one would look down the hallway and see a shadow being peaking around projector #10 watching them, darting back behind it when you saw it. Not only could cameras confirm nobody had gone up to the booth, you could literally keep your eyes right on the projector and walk over there to find nothing. People were also freaked out about the far, back corner of theater 10 (closest to the booth) and ushers would not want to clean in there by themselves. Perhaps weirdest of all, the theater later ended up developing black mold, and the connected theater next door ended up legitimately inhabited by a bat.

The last and most significant example I will share was the port window. Next to each projector is a large, heavy window you lift up and open into the booth. This allows you to poke your head in, check the sound in the theater, etc. These were heavy to the point where the strong air draft could not open them at all, otherwise any time the air came on or off you’d hear the booth in the theater during quiet scenes, which is very annoying. Our theater held a special needs event once a month, and cleanup always required the entire staff, including myself and the available managers. This means that while cleaning the theater the booth was entirely empty, as later confirmed by camera, and there were at least 10 people in the auditorium with all the sound off, lights on, etc. Every single one of us in there was shocked when suddenly the port window slammed down as if someone had opened it all the way and furiously slammed it closed. It was absolutely crazy because at first they thought it was me, but there I was as shocked as the rest. It definitely caused a buzz that only increased throughout the day as we checked cameras, asked around, and realized there was no explanation for what had happened other than the booth ghost(s).

The Forests and Deserts

My friends and I have spent a wealth of time in the forests around us, and have encountered several mysterious things. One of the most significant I remember was going to a cabin in the forest and just doing what I would call some casual ritual in the woods. Jumping around, wooping, singing, etc and so on. It was only then that a trip would truly kick off, and we would often see things moving through the forest from the cabin at night. What I find really interesting is that everyone would report feeling there were “extra people” in the cabin after the events. For instance we would all be at the table waiting to start a board game, and realize we were waiting on nobody. This has periodically cropped up at other times as well, such as a house party in the city.

Once while camping I found myself inclined to build a giant altar, including chopping a few logs, tying things together, seeking out unique branches, drawing in the dirt, and so forth. This was surprising as I am more the “sit around the campfire and eat” type of camper, and I decided to take a few pictures of it. For no real reason, one of the middle pictures was extremely glitched and filled with artifacts, the only time my phone ever did this in the time I had it. These were the pics I previously shared on the blog and sub.

Likewise we have all spent a great amount of time in the deserts, and seen an equal strange number of things. There is one specific area I personally have not gone back to, and would actively recommend people away for it. On my first trip out there we had 4 or 5 people in the car, all of us familiar with being out in the desert, off roading, etc. It had gotten dark and we stopped to smoke, gathered near the jeep just enjoying the quiet of the night, the desert is sometimes absolutely silent. It was then that I heard a bizarre noise, almost like a clicking sound extremely far off. I am familiar with the animal sounds here, and remember trying in vain to place it. Looking around I noticed nobody else seemed to react so said nothing, though later learned one of the other people heard it as well. Not a moment passed and I heard the sound again, extremely loud and right behind us as if it had sped across the massive distance and closed in on us. Everyone reacted to it this time, and instinctually, without one word, we all bolted for the car, jumped in, and sped off. None of us had heard anything like it, and we could not explain our fear considering we were very used to our deserts.

I was stupid enough to go back at a later date, I had told others the story and some were interested to see for themselves. We decided to go camping out there, arriving rather late in the evening and trying to quickly set up before we lost the light. While setting up camp all members of the group felt extremely uncomfortable, reporting the feeling of something watching us. The feeling of paranoia and fear grew so rapidly that not long after sunset we decided to pack up and leave, that hour or two was convincing enough, and we were now hearing weird sounds. Upon trying to start up the car, however, it was dead, and we are not the type of people to go out in the desert expecting car trouble, so the paranoia increased. Despite not being too far out of the city we could not reach anyone on our phones, and were generally beginning to freak out. By sheer luck we saw the lights of another car and flagged them down. They were happy to help us, but would have to return as they were giving a ride to the people in the back of their car, since within a past hour their vehicle had randomly died further in. Suffice to say we were well packed when they came back and helped us out of there, and I have not been back.

Synchronicities

I have touched on these 3 big ones before so will only briefly recap them. If you are unfamiliar with the term, it is when two events gain significance only through subjective meaning. For instance, if your partner’s favorite animal was a roadrunner, and at their funeral there was a roadrunner, this would only gain significance through you. We will look at three more examples as well.

The first starts with my early interest in scarab beetles, which I was discussing with some friends one night in the backyard. We were very into the symbolism of the rising sun and therefore the scarab, and while talking about it one of them noticed an actual scarab crawling on the ground, something we had never seen here before. I brought up how this was a synchronicity, something we had been talking about in psychology regarding the ideas of Carl Jung. Intrigued, we decided to look up the concept and investigate further. We found a story where Jung had an affluent patient and they were discussing his theories of synchronicity. The woman had dreamt of a golden insect brooch the previous night, and while discussing it the two heard a tapping on the window. Low and behold it was the same insect from her dream: a synchronicity. The truly crazy part was that the insect was a scarab, the very synchronicity which had driven us to the story. It may not be surprising to learn I have a scarab tattoo, and one of my magical names is Kheper Khemtu, Three Scarabs.

One day in high school, a friend of mine realized that he was always looking at the clock at 11:37, and started mentioning it every time he saw it. I started mentioning it back, and soon more and more in our group would notice and report it. The mechanism behind this was obvious, once you start noticing X, and get others to, it will be noticed more and more. The question we asked was, why “1137”? It would be over a decade before we stumbled upon the importance of 1/137 in physics, a constant which is fundamental to the material universe being what it is, known as the fine-structure constant. This constant has some sort of influence on photons and electrons that is far beyond me! It is a number physicists are apparently obsessed with, even joking that this is the first pin number you should try for a physicist. In more esoteric terms, 1137 turned out to be a demiurgic number, one could say. It is part of the blueprint for our little prison here, as if such forces were attempting to make themselves known. It makes sense, we were mostly atheists, physicalists, and determinists at the time, we would have been extremely tuned into that undercurrent. The number is still noticed on a weekly basis I’d say, at least, and has spread to even more people.

The smallest, but no less significant, synchronicity came at the start of 2023, when my esoteric group was considering a project to study a god we were not familiar with. This fell through in the end, but for the first month I held onto it and began studying our native god Coyote, even writing an essay about my findings on the blog/sub. The problem was there was no connection at all, no spark, no deeper interest like when I had started with the Egyptian gods or even others, such as Veles. I was very torn between not quitting on a goal but also not wasting my time and energy. That very day I had gone to Reddit’s popular sorting, something I almost never do, and on a random sub I saw a very interesting picture: a donkey holding a coyote it had killed by the throat. If you do not know, one of Setesh’s main animals is a donkey, and the message was clear as day.

Trusted Second-Hand Accounts

For this last section I will share only a few experiences I was not there for, but have no reason to distrust the sources. I already mentioned that everyone had experiences in the family house, and many did at the theater as well. There are only a few specific things I want to mention further. These are also only stories related to everything above, not any of the hundreds of random one offs we could gather from around here.

The clicking heard in the desert has been attributed to a native local myth I will not name here, a horselike being that harrasses outsiders or those doing wrong. This being was so commonly reported the reservation police supposedly have records dedicated to encounters. A manager I was close to at the theater, who also heard the port window slam and saw the booth ghost(s), had been chased by the being when younger and drinking on the reservation. Another member and now peer in the same esoteric group saw what he thinks to be the creature chasing horses who were drinking from a small pond. These stories are extremely common around here, and I would love to be able to document them better in some way one day.

Finally, skinwalkers are well known and feared in this area. One acquaintance of a friend reported some sort of fight with one, but I cannot remember the details and will have to follow up on that. Another story I vividly remember was that a friend had been riding in the backseat of a pickup truck. He had noticed a strange looking dog running along the highway with them, even though they would have been going at least 80mph. After looking away to tell his dad the kid looked back and saw a man casually sitting on the back of the truck, causing him to scream. The dad pulled over but neither a man nor dog could be found. But most convincingly, a trusted friend of one of our group member’s captured footage of something insane looking running through the forest. I would almost describe it like the tanks from Left for Dead, just this thing running through the trees with huge arms and small legs, very chilling and unnatural. A possible fake, but I have no reason to believe it was. Unfortunately they are unwilling to let anyone post the video, which is common with skinwalker stuff around here.

Dualistic Dehumanization: Dehumanizing Ideology, the Dual Character Concept, and Atrocities

Written for Philosophy of Dehumanization

"I posit that ideological/metaphysical dehumanization can help us explain dehumanization in accordance with the Dual Character Concept, and is a key driver behind atrocities based in dehumanization, such as murder, suicide bombing, and genocide."

PDF: https://xeperamaset.wixsite.com/xeper/post/dualistic-dehumanization-term-paper-ona-case-study

These three words are very frequently used to describe the Left Hand Path, and I disagree with all three. I will try to keep this short!

Antinomian

Not sure how we adopted this word, it is literally a Christian license to sin, that in being saved by grace we do not need to follow moral law. I think it's rather obvious why this doesn't fit the LHP in any way, we are not Christian, saved by grace, etc. Generally when this word is misused and attributed to the LHP it is used as synonymous for "Adversarial" or "Sinister," so read on!

Adversarial

This really only applies to Satanism as Satan was "the adversary," on top of which he was the adversary against humans for god rather than against god. Therefore if you don't buy into Christian mythology, you must ask yourself "why adversity?" To define yourself in opposition to Abrahamic religion or the status quo is to bind yourself to those things, to define yourself by them. As I've written before, "A big problem I have with many modern groups which consider themselves part of the WLHP is that they are still bound to the culture they are trying to shock and invert… The key is they come to these on their own rather than because of what they are told to do or not do, they are apathetic to if culture agrees or disagrees, accepts or rejects them."

Sinister

What "sinister" equates to is "moral/metaphysical evil." I understand the appeal since we are what the RHP considers evil, but why would we let the RHP define us? Sinister is molesting kids and covering it up, taking away the autonomy of certain groups, leading crusades and inquisition, converting through violence and fear, teaching people they are born broken and need saving… it's the RHP that is Sinister. Why define yourself as evil when by any objective standard we are far more moral? The LHPer calling themselves Sinister is like our own self imposed original sin. Sure there's an edgy, adversarial appeal to describing yourself as evil but… see above. I think the LHP includes a focus on self definition rather than definition by others.

Plus academically speaking, "Sinister" describes a specific subset of the fascist, pseudo LHP which is blatantly immoral in the same ways as the RHP.

Does this person/group/idea...

1. Allow for your individuation, or dictate it?

2. Promote individuality, or suppress it?

3. Disregard the status quo, or seek to define/enforce it, or define themselves in relation to it?

4. Treat individual experience with pluralism, or exclusivism?

5. Promote a self discovered worldview, or preach an external dogma?

6. Allow you to focus on what matters to you, or command what to care about?

7. Embrace or reject pragmatism?

8. Encourage or shun doubt/skepticism?

9. See you as a divine being, or something lesser/fallen?

So I'm on the spectrum and can't visualize shit. Like if I read a character description I cant picture them. If you described your house to me I couldn't see it. Even if you asked me what I'd think of the couch being on the other side of the room, can't see it. EVEN WHEN I am writing my own character in fiction, there's no solid image, and my imagination doesn't work like that.

But my astral realm? It is clear as day except the place where time and space literally lose all meaning. I could describe it to a sketch artist in decent detail.

So if my visualization and imagination is shit, but my astral realm is clear as day, doesn't it imply the astral realm is a real place? More than imagination?

A person is evil if and only if they have a disposition towards and/or pattern of violating or supporting the violation of the wills of others, in a way that interferes with the victim's hierarchy of needs.

Minor edit bolded.