¿Como puedo ganar dinero online?

CHAVEZ VIVE, LA LUCHA SIGUE!

Girls, I love you. I really do. As far as I’m concerned you are the best and the brightest of all the living creatures on this planet. You’re smarter, faster and sleeker versions of men. You mature faster and you can hold children. You guys are so sexy that sometimes even you can’t keep you hands off each other. You are all so much smarter than us men give you credit for and it’s a damn shame that we’ve held you down all these years. You don’t even have exposed gonads, so you’re immune to the most crippling attack known to man. You’re pretty much at the fucking top of the food chain. Kudos. You’re awesome. Girl power.

That being said, and with all due respect, you are all fucking idiots. Not only do you cry WAY too fucking much, but you are all so fucking dramatic. Calm the fuck down, yeah? Jesus. You even hate each other half the time because you bicker and fight over little shit and blow it out of proportion. But, to me, what really takes the cake is how fucking RETARDED some of you are when it comes to guys. I mean holy fucking titnuggets. We are literally the simplest things to understand, and it baffles my shit when I hear "guys are complicated".

Um.

The way I see it, men are dogs. And no, we’re not dogs in the Lifetime Channel sense, where we will maul your emotions and piss on your heart. But we’re as simple as dogs. Mildly retarded dogs. We like:

1. Food

2. Things

3. Humping.

That’s literally, like, it. I can’t think of anything simpler. Seriously feed us, stimulate us, and eventually give us some loving. We are cavemen. We haven’t evolved. You certainly have, but us? Not a chance. Seriously, I cannot think of a better combo than a bacon cheeseburger, an N64 and a girl by my side. Nothing. Fucking. Better.

Food-

It’s good. If it’s meat, it’s fucking great. If your man is angry, sad, confused, afraid or, fuck it, even happy. Just make him food. That boy will love the shit out of you. It’s honestly that simple. And if you’re looking to get a boyfriend, make him food. Seriously. He will love you.

Suggested foods include: steak, steak, any meat, pastas (with meat sauce), and definitely some kind of steak, if you can work it into your recipe.

Oh, and sandwiches. There’s a running joke out there in the world about women and sandwiches. Heads up: it’s not a fucking joke. Something about meat and cheese between bread is badass, and the fact that every sandwich is unique and distinct and handcrafted is fucking beautiful. And it’s not like we’re asking you to fucking cook a meal or prepare a dish. Like, goddamnit, it takes three minutes.

Get off your cute ass and make it.

Things-

We like things. Almost fucking anything. If it’s awesome. And some of the best things in life aren’t tangible. See, we’re not like you guys. We don’t need physical shit. We don’t need diamonds and lingerie or makeup or clothes or what the fuck ever it is you girls need to feel fulfilled. We like the little things.

And by little things I don’t mean walks in the park or conversations. In small doses, yeah sure whatever. But fuck that exasperated deep shit after a while, seriously. If you can find a man that likes that shit all day, but isn’t gay, hold on to him because he is a rare and special breed. Seriously. We’d want to run tests on his DNA.

Suggested things: guitar or drum solos, superheroes, guns and/or explosions, boobies, the forest, SILENCE, animals that could kill us, Han Solo.

Every man wants to be like Han Solo. Or Lando.

"But if he likes silence then how can he also like guns and explosions and drum solos and animals!?!?"

Bitch, I mean from your talking.

Humping-

Self-explanatory. Fuck the guy. If not fuck, then at least third base. If you’re too good for that, second. First, if you’re a prude. I mean shit at least wink at the kid, give him something to beat to later.

Humping is awesome. You can starve him, but fuck him, and he will die happy. You can use it in lieu of gifts, and nothing says "thank you" like a wet schlong.

Just saying.

So don’t think we’re complex. All that is all you need to know ever about anything. Get on it, ladies.

A las 7:30 de la mañana, un tren expreso que viaja a 60 millas por hora sale de Santa Fe con destino a Phoenix, a 520 millas de distancia. Al mismo tiempo, un tren local viajando a 30 millas por hora y cargando 40 pasajeros parte de Phoenix con destino a Santa Fe. Tiene ocho vagones de largo y siempre lleva el mismo número de pasajeros en cada coche. Una hora más tarde, un número de pasajeros igual a la mitad el número de minutos después de la hora bajan pero suben al tren el triple mas seis. En la segunda parada, la mitad de los pasajeros más dos bajan pero suben el doble de los que subieron en la primera parada.

Si yo le pagaba BsF 20,00 al que me cuida el carro en la panaderia adonde voy a tomar un cafe todas las tardes ¿cuanto deberia pagarle ahora?

¿Como lo pronuncian ustedes?

Cuando llamo al numero de atencion al cliente me atiende una computadora ¿Hay alguna manera de hablar con otro ser humano a otro lado de la linea?

¿Eso indica que el internet se esta apagando/prendiendo a cada rato?

¿Que hay de mañana? ¿Esta tarde? ¿Funciono ayer?

de aroma.

Sedañolabarraespaciadorayyanopuedosepararlaspalabrasunasdelasotrasloquevuelvedemasiadodificilescribircomonormalmentepuedohacerloperolomasextrañoesqueapesardesaberquelateclanofuncionacontinuopresionandolaluegodeescribircadapalabracomosienalgunmomentounodeestosinutilesintentospuderarepararlamagicamente.

Estoy jugando Minesweep mientras regresa el internet.

Tranquilos amigos, ya no tengo problema alguno.

tiene sentido para uds? les duele?

Pregunten lo que quieran.