You know when you go to sleep and you wake up and youre still high

I wrote a poem about being high feeding my cat because she's sweet :) I love my cat

Here it is. I had to be a long white papier mâché alligator first! Shhh! I had so many legs!

Suddenly I have become a human spine.

It is more about what is lost than what is given

I awake at the correct junction of hours

To become an alligator tremolo

And feed the cat;

I have to fit in each new scale before the next I unfurl and fold

In halting motions

Into every room

I circumscribe the discrete proportions

Of a world which exsits only to me

I am constantly phasing in and out of the dimensions you or I could percieve

Fluid being exists on another

I am any arrangement outside of the doors

I must collapse to be seen

So every new flucutation

Is an experiment

In what new shape I will become next

In what I must complete before next I may dream

Thank you :)

150ug. ~an hour ago. Peaking.

What we fear is the disease of all of mankind, a disease that starts within us and spreads to consume all in its path. Though it must be stated that I'm only one person making such grand declarations, and I'm sure that at the surface level one may find that inherently amusing.

But I've regarded this carefully and sought to weigh it out as best I can, and I can't help but come away believing that fear resides as the foundation for all of what we do (and avoid), even if what we do is at our peril.

My own fears grant validity to this idea since they've driven me to self-ruin and success all the same, fears of the more personal kind that vice after vice failed to sedate entirely. I know now that the pleasure gleaned from it all--that wondrous little dopamine hit--was only a temporary bandage, a momentary but ever fleeting sensation of bliss that came too far and few between in this unforgiving world. Was I so wrong for wishing to have bliss every once and a while? Was I so wrong for wanting to refrain from the cold and uncaring onward march of daily life and distracting myself from it all?

Thus my fear of my own shortcomings, my "ought to be doings" and my "I should be this or that by now", led me down the path of destruction, because the momentary bliss that came to me in the darkest times let me escape my fear of failure of these imposed obligations. But who exactly was I failing? In whose eyes did I not reach my full potential? In whose eyes was I always "he who could be better, but isn't right now"?

My eyes, my very own, from when I was a child until now, and tears soak my face at the thought of it.

And what more could be said of others that ruin themselves and others around them due to fear? When they harm others, are they protecting themselves from fear of what the "other" might bring? When they decry themselves powerful and the rule of law, are they ensuring that they alone can spare their world of the hidden "nightmare" that all else are too blind to see?

Fear is ruin, which is impossibly ironic since we can't rid ourselves of it, nor do I believe that we should. Without it, we wouldn't have the impetus to improve this way or that. But what we must all learn is how to use it to the benefit of all and the peril of none.

When fear is kept closed off and tucked away, that's when I believe it becomes virulent and an onward path toward destruction in some form. We presume that only we know of it, or that only we can interpret it or ever be allowed to see it, and we convince ourselves of narratives steeped in naught else but this unchecked fear and carry on with lives and callings that reflect that, never understanding that all we're trying to do is protect ourselves from the manifestation of that fear.

The great irony, isn't it? That this once useful trait of survival now spreads its residual tendrils upon us and marches us onward to Oblivion?

We mustn't let it win. We're more than fear. We must merely be honest about what we feel and allow ourselves the opportunity to let the world heal us, if possible. Only then can we heal as a species, else we're all lost to our own devices and condemned to the ravenous hunger of Oblivion, ironic as it is.

Electrical Banana. Carrot micro-chips. Beet mutation. Stale hair under a big orange bagel. Flying, zealous, overachieving cans. Grease in the Potato bunker twice. Mullato sheep in a pool of jelly-jam. Egotistical burden-waffle under the stool of a cold morning diner. Ordering eggs cooked in eggs. Livid strudel opposing leather rights. Brook of cold cocoa. Powdered sweat strained through bug thoughts. Caliginous chasm of distressed nails. Slicing the tendrils of rutabaga. Warm pile of paper clips basting in the filth of a thousand dogmas. Humidity increasing daily, in the midst of stinky, spoiled ham and basil. Furred cucumber. Shady lamps selling 5 o'clock shadow. soft pitter-patter of the vacuum cleaner suctioning the crust from plates. Stained forks caused by overflowing prisms of colors ranging only by several decided factors of corn chips. Levitating chocolate bar made by the under-belly of the cup. Confusticated battery only purple because it has been moisturized for several days.

Identifying safe psychedelic groups

As part of psychedelic.training’s harm reduction focus, we also acknowledge the necessity of identifying and reducing abusive practices within the psychedelic community. This includes abuse both accidental and purposeful, whether to oneself or between individuals.

Psychedelics facilitate increased intimacy

There is a tenuous association between psychedelics and cliquey, tribal, or cult-like group behavior. This should be taken seriously, especially in large group whose members bond through regular psychedelic sessions. Psychedelics have a number of potential effects that can make individuals more suggestible, and may occasion rapidly-escalating intimacy:

• facilitate deep feelings of connection to others
• induce dissociation, depersonalization and ego loss
• increase suggestibility, making it easier to impress new beliefs or ideas upon the user
• re-expose the user to potentially traumatic memories
• evoke emotional re-association and object transference, including trust and sexual interest that may not otherwise be present
• invoke religious or metaphysical experiences, that instill a sense of meaning and personal significance
• create a sense of paranoia or suspicion, in part as a result of being involved in a potentially illicit activities
• evoke symptoms of mental illness in vulnerable users, making one reliant on external social and economic support

Not all of these effects guarantee problems, but rather indicate how psychedelics can open users up to remarkedly strong bonding. The ability of hallucinogens to connect individuals into family-like organizations is notable, as psychedelic have been foundational to many rituals, communities, and cults through history. In part due to these effects, many psychedelic groups exhibit some degree of organizational eccentricity, marked intimacy, or social drama. Identifying manipulative group dynamics

If you need help identifying whether or not an organization exercises exploitative practices, consult the following guidelines on cult behavior and gaslighting. Troublesome psychedelic groups are usually large in size and have organized leadership structure, exhibiting the following qualities (as adapted from the Cult Education Institute’s webpage):

• possessing an egotistical leader of social or creative influence, who may have a record of abusing power or individuals
• a rigidly directed ideology, and excluding or punishing members who do not conform to it
• provoking members who are under the influence of psychedelics, or attempting to selfishly influence the psychedelic integration process of another member
• maintaining a culture of misinformation or fear or threats, in which members are easily excluded or blacklisted
• illicit dealings and in-group abuse that is concealed by a culture of secrecy, including: promoting or selling increasingly risky drugs, sexual or romantic grooming, or the use of psychedelics as “tools of seduction”

Perhaps the best takeaway from the association between psychedelics and cult activity is this: psychedelics have the ability to destabilize and rearrange one’s sense of self, which makes them more susceptible to peer pressure and the influence of others. For users who already are mentally liable or require a secure mindset and setting, it is essential to make sure that they feel in control of their drug use, and have the personal autonomy to ensure their trips are safe and serve personal growth.

The Cult Education Institute’s signs of a safe group/leader are also adapted below:

• can be asked questions without judgement
• discloses ample information such as structural organization/finances
• may have disgruntled former followers, but will not vilify, excommunicate, or forbid others from associating with them
• will not have a record of overwhelmingly negative articles and statements about them
• encourages family communication, community interaction, and existing friendships
• encourages critical thinking, individual autonomy, self-esteem, and personal growth
• leaders admit failings and mistakes, accepts criticism, and follow through on implementing constructive changes
• operates democratically and encourages accountability and oversight
• leader is not be the only source of knowledge excluding everyone else; group values dialogues and the free exchange of ideas
• members and leaders recognize clear emotional, physical, and emotional boundaries when dealing with others

Gaslighting & manipulation

Many of the tactics that both individuals and groups use to manipulate people are examples of gaslighting, or attempts at convincing members that they are somehow mentally compromised in order to control them. This is often done by withholding information from them, invalidating the victim’s experiences, verbal abuse (including jokes), social isolation, trivializing the victim’s worth, and otherwise undermining their thought process. When combined with the suggestion-enhancing properties of psychedelic drugs, these kinds of behavior can be traumatizing to individual victims, while remaining relatively undetected or overlooked by onlookers.

In order to help identify gaslighting by a group, consider if you relate to its effects, as described by Robin Stern in her book The Gaslight Effect:

• constantly second-guessing yourself, feeling confused, or as if something is wrong
• asking yourself “Am I too sensitive?” throughout the day
• frequently apologizing to people who hold power over you, feeling as if you can’t do anything right, or running over things you may have done wrong
• frequently wondering if you are “good enough”
• frequently withholding information from your friends or family so you don’t have to explain the group or make excuses for it
• you lie to group members, to avoid being put down or gaslighted
• paranoia about bringing up innocent conversation topics
• speaking to group leaders through another member, so you don’t have be worry about the leaders becoming upset with you
• making excuses for group members’ behavior to your friends and family
• friends or family try to protect you from the group
• becoming furious with people you used to get along with

If you suspect you have been involved in a psychedelic cult or gaslighted, you may be experiencing regular instability, dissociation, or feelings of uncertainty. Although it can be difficult at first, finding a new group that demonstrates a high degree of member safety and accountability may help rebuild one’s sense of safety and trust. If you shared psychedelic experiences with group members while being taken advantage of, it may be beneficial to seek out a professional psychedelic integration therapist to help emotionally contextualize these memories. Victims may also benefit from adjunct trauma therapies, such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open DBT, somatic bodywork and movement therapies, therapeutic massage, and other complementary therapy practices. Sources

Douglas, James. (2017). Inside the bizarre 1960s cult, The Family: LSD, yoga and UFOs. The Guardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/feb/13/the-family-great-white-brotherhood-australia-melbourne-cult-anne-hamilton-byrne

Evans, P. (1996). The verbally abusive relationship: how to recognize it and how to respond. Expanded 2nd ed. Holbrook, Mass.: Adams Media Corporation.

Mayorga, O. and Smith, P. (2019, May 19). Forgiving psychedelic abusers should never be at the expense of their victims. Psymposia. Retrieved from https://www.psymposia.com/magazine/forgiving-psychedelic-abusers/.

Neiswender, Mary. (1971). Manson Girl’s Acid Trips Detailed. CieldoDrive.com. Retrieved from http://www.cielodrive.com/archive/manson-girls-acid-trips-detailed/.

Ross, Rick. (2014). Warning signs. Cult Education Institute. Retrieved from https://www.culteducation.com/warningsigns.html.

Stern, R. (2007). The gaslight effect: how to spot and survive the hidden manipulations other people use to control your life. New York: Morgan Road Books.

Windolf, Jim. (2007). Sex, drugs, and soybeans. Vanity Fair. Retrieved from https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2007/05/thefarm200705.

Do you currently use any substances which have been referred to as novel, legal or research chemicals – often bought online?

A lot has been said in the media in recent years about these ‘novel psychoactive substances’ and recreational drug researchers in the School of Psychology, at the University of East London want to find out who takes them, how often, in what sort of amounts etc.

If you use these types of drugs then we would really value your help. Anything we find will be passed back to you and people like you through online forums and our own website.

Interested? Please use the link below to complete our questionnaires:

https://uelpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2htsLj74GLMq9A9

For further details, please contact the researchers:

Kirstie Soar: k.soar@uel.ac.uk OR Daniel Frings:fringsds@lsbu.ac.uk

I expirienced a transcendental state at the Apocalypse Ball in 2019 in New Orleans. I had taken 2 hits of LSD and started to expirence all the visuals that one normally does. A friend instructed me to light his stick of palo santo and blow on the ember. As the ember glowed hotter, the more I blew on it, the more is started to feel like it was sucking me into the ember, until it felt as though I teleported through the glow. That feeling was so intense that I shut my eyes, and when I opened them I awoke to a higer level of consciousness. I have always considered myself a man of sicence, but I swear I could see peoples life force surrounding them and my life force branching out and connecing to them. My friend guided me into a meditation room at the ball. There he told me to focus on my breathing and we began to chant. I could see what appeared to be an electricfabric draping over everyone connecting us together. As we were chanting It felt like I was vibrating at the natural frequency of the universe and it was charging me up with energy and joy. At one point i was kneeled down when I felt a force acting on my hands I looked around and saw the same effect happening to my friend. I remembr him saying "Im a doctor and I dont have an explination for that" We left the meditation tent after some time and danced at the ball. I was still chanting and charging up energy and I found people all around me feeding off my energy. "I heard someone say "whos giving off all that energy", and heard someone say its that guy pointing at me. I started throat singing and it rang through my body giving me a feeling of ecstacy and i could feel other peepole feeling it. It literally felt like I was the life of the party. I could sence other people who where "tapped in" and could send them energy, I swear I got people to turn around and stare into my eyes from across a dance floor. At one point when the band was really grooving I could see strings stretching out from me connecting everyone looking like a giant arterial system. It has been 3 days since this happened and its all Ive been thinking about. I have taken heavy doses before and experienced strong vivid visuals before but this was a horse of a completely different color. Everything is connected. Love is everything.

Ever creating, all consuming. This trip is blank, all nothing. For all that is created is consumed, and creation cannot be stopped. This is all there is simply, creation and destruction. Light and dark, good and evil. Inseparable natures, tearing at the seams. Fire and ice, air and earth. Two parts and/in one whole.🌑

Everything is as it is and a rose is a rose.

The difference between having had it and having access to it is subtle. Like a fool taking a breath and saying they created the wind. Do you believe the wind rises and falls at your breaths command ?

Hello friends,

I've been working with some folks to organize a progressive peer-support mental health community for psychedelic users on Discord. We are specifically geared toward helping people who struggle with mental illness or social marginalization. Here is the invite link if anyone wants to pop in.

In addition to programming a collectively moderated space where people can practice interacting with themselves/others, we have also been assembling a psychedelic library. Currently the files are being hosted at the data hoarding project The-Eye.eu and are publicly accessible at this link, with a complete index file located here. The library is currently undergoing its 4th revision of over 4,000 files and can be downloaded via HTTP.

If you have any files that could be added to the Psychedelic Library, please contact us! We are hoping to organize a web directory of all extant literature related to psychedelic subjects, to help people who are conducting self-therapy or research at any scale. This directory would not host the original files, so if you are interested in possessing this collection in its current state, please clone the above mirror while it is still available. For a magnet link to the archival torrent, refer to this textfile.

Enjoy!

Spinning on the ripper

While the dripper tin's kin

Have a litter of little dribblers

On the wicked sin's quim.

Have a nibble of the scribble's

Of my misted winds swim

As the riddle of the piddle

Has a fidget's dim sim - Psyche!

Rocking on the spock

Rocking colored pink socks

As he rocks on the stock

Flocking hubba hint hots

Stop, it's not for the lot to quant the whole dot.

Saturday night I went to a friend of a friend's birthday party. It was me, my best friend, a girl he was dating and her friend. We had a ton of fun. There was alcohol that we all drank, and more than one person passed around a joint or blunt or bong. The girl, Becca, got a bit too drunk so we all left early. We were going to take some tabs of LSD before we left originally, but Rick didn't want to with the girl he was dating, Becca, being so drunk.

Once we got home, Becca threw up everywhere and then took a shower. Once she came out we waited until she was sober enough to take a tab with us. At this point it was the four of us, and then Mack (the guy we bought from) and his girlfriend Fate, both of whom look like typical surfer stoners, showed up.

So the night was going pretty fun so far, we developed som inside jokes, and we woke Becca back up from her hour and a half nap (she was so sad that she missed some of the fun) so there was six of us in the living room, and my friend starts playing some youtube music videos. Now this is where things get weird. I start seeing someone watching me, it was just the chest shoulders and head of some masculine figure with their hands outwards like someone about to give you a hug except they were larger than life. probably close to being three times as large as a normal person. I kept trying to look away, but every time I looked back he'd be there. So I got up and deliberately put my back to him, but at that point I could feel the shadows closing in, the cigarette smoke in the air and and the music video was creeping me out, so I got up and left, it was around four at this time.

I stuck around the house for a few seconds before I started walking down the street. Along the way I started to have an ego loss. I felt that the shadows that were around me where honing my confidence and that by walking I was subjugating my fears. As I was walking I started to talk to myself, "I am confident I am strong, I take what I want." I was practically chanting this to myself. Over and over.

As this was going on, I felt who I was wash away from me. But after chanting for a couple of minutes, I realized that I was speaking in an arrogant manner, and it scared me. So I changed my chant to, "I am confident, I take what I want, but I have my principles, my morals." And I start chanting this instead. The entire time I was speaking out loud and I felt that the shadows down towards the end of the street were the gates of hell. And I walked right through them practically shouting that I take what I want. I stood for a moment, turned around and walked back.

I then changed what I was chanting again when I realized I was on the second-half of my journey. I realize I needed to build myself back up, "I am confident, I am principled, I am fun and funny, I am an intellectual, I am observant." I was chanting this back all the way up the street until I reached the spot I started my journey, at exactly which point my friend was calling me wondering where I was at.

Once I was back inside, I told my friend I had an ego death, at which point my friend Rick started to make fun of me. And that's when I lost it, I just couldn't stop laughing. The longer I laughed, the more my friend wanted to make me laugh. It lasted for almost forty-five minutes, several times I couldn't even breath.

Even afterwards, I was chuckling or giggling every so often at random times. But at this point I started to observe everyone else.

What I saw was a revolving circle of mood, one of my friend would start to laugh at something, the person next to them would be laughing, then person next to them would be dying down from laughter would started to get irritated and the person next to them would already be irritated, the next person in line would be snappy which the next person would find funny. And then the process would repeat itself in a circle. It was a wave of emotions that would last for at least ten minutes. At some point the entire group mood would be like this, everyone having a fun time, and just as suddenly everyone was irritated at each other and would say incredibly sarcastic things to each other. It was most especially observable when Rick and Becca were cuddling when everyone was laughing, but when the mood started to turn he leaned away from her and starting getting snippy at her.

It was at this point that another of our (Rick and I) friends showed up with his ex-wife. John and Claudia. It was actually Claudia's first time on LSD and also Mary's first time as well (Becca's friend). The living room was getting a bit crowded, so I so I suggested we all go outside. It was about six in the morning on a sunday, and our entire group continued with the mood swings; at one point someone would be worried about the noise we were making, while another would be like "So? Screw 'em" Then after a while, that person would tell us all to shut up because of how late it was, then after a bit they would eventually get back into the swing of things.

I don't know if anyone saw what I was seeing, but people would be laughing with each other one second, and then being snippy, snappy, and sarcastic to each other the next.

I should also mention, my friend Rick was only wearing boxer shorts, not shirt, two gold chains, on long silver chain and his ex-girlfriend's red silk robe with white flowers on it; he was being pulled around by his dog on his skateboard.

I could feel the mood shifting from mocking him to cheering for him and back multiple times. I could feel that Becca was alternatingly humiliated by him and proud of him.

At one point during this we were all standing atop a hill waiting for the rest of the guys to go down the hill on their skateboards.

At this point things got super interesting. I realized that everyone was close to each other in a semicircle. But no one was in the middle of the circle, everything people would shift and someone found themselves in the middle of the circle, they would hurriedly move out of the way. I realized that while everyone was irritated, they were also anxious and didn't want to be the center of attention. Because while someone was at the center of attention, they were getting mocked. Maybe in whispers, but it could be felt.

So I stepped up. I deliberately placed myself in the center of attention and I basked in their laughter. I knew I looked ridiculous, but I didn't care. I felt so fucking confident. It was euphoric. It felt so good. The trees were so green, the grass was so fucking beautiful in the morning dew. The birds were singing love, and the sun was so comfortingly warm. The wind caressed my face and I was enlightened. Then I thought to myself, as I looked around at everyone else, that I should show them, help them, to feel what I was feeling. And then when I thought that, the europhia increased, the enlightenment deepened and the world just got that much more wonderful.

So I started talking to everyone I could, I was encouraging them I included everyone in conversation. And slowly I felt the mood shift from bouts of irritation to just being a pleasant atmosphere. People stopped trying to avoid the center, and started to move closer together. It was great. I felt like a leader, like helping people, including them, encouraging them was something that I need to do from now on.

Once the others came back up the hill from skating down it, they tried to go down and even steeper one, but I, of course, discouraged that. It was too dangerous, and we'd already been outside, loudly, for awhile. Now normally, the others wouldn't listen to me, I'm not a very confident person. But right then they did, and I smiled.

From the time that we first started walking, until now, it felt directionless, but as I was feeling this intense high, I felt that the group was getting direction. That I was the leader.

And this is where things get scary.

As we were crowding around the door about to go in I noticed Fate and Mack kinda standing behind me smiling enigmatically, but knowingly. That's when I realized that they were aliens. Honestly, if I had never looked back, the rest of the trip would have gone far differently. But I did, and I saw them smile and I realized they were aliens who had come to watch a person become enlightened. They were watching me help and lead my friends. It honestly felt like a chapter had closed and a new one had begun. I really don't know how to describe it in a better way, except that nothing mattered except in the here and now.

So as I was, herding would be the best word, my friendS back into the house, I noticed John standing by the door frame, holding onto his skateboard. He was wearing a black shirt and had just gotten a crew cut, he kinda felt like an outcast in that moment. I was afraid that he wasn't feeling accepted, and that he just needed some encouragement.

Now I have to make this clear, I am not a violent person. I am a pacifist, never been in a fight in my life and I much rather prefer to use my words. Violence, laying your hands on another person is never the answer.

So while I was encouraging him, I had put my hand on his back. It was just lightly placed there. I don't remember much, but I do remember him backing away from me, but all I could think was that he was scared of acceptance, but that I needed to show him that it was alright. That we all loved him. That's when I got physical I grabbed his arm and tried to drag him towards the door, but when he started struggling, I started to push him on his chest and face into the door. All I could think was that I had to help him. That I had to, as his friend, convince him it was alright. I had to somehow get through to him. That if I didn't do it know that it would be too late. So I pushed and pushed and even when he was in the house I kept pushing him. I remember Rick yelling at me asking "What are you doing? Stop." Or maybe someone else yelled stop. A lot of people were yelling but I just kept pushing. I don't know how far I would have pushed, but he was already on the ground, and Rick grabbed me in a headlock to pull me off and someone else grabbed John and pulled him up, I think.

They were able to calm me down, but it was at that point I started to hear police sirens and helicopters and Rick just kept saying that I fucked up and that I had scared everyone and I saw blood on my hands and only Rick was in the house, and all I could think was that this is where I died. That this was the part of the movie where the guy on drugs killed himself to avoid the police. All I remember saying was "No, no. Is he alright?" We talked a bit more, and I saw Mack looking at me with concern by the door, and then Fate came in. The entire time I didn't once think that they were aliens. After I had calmed down, I went outside and apologized to John, but afterwards, he and Claudia left. I was the last to walk in, Becca and Mary went into the bedroom because they were terrified. It was just me and Rick and Mack and Fate. But then I saw Fate and Mack smile again.

At some point I started to believe that I was some sort of Prophet that had to bring my friends into the same enlightenment that I experienced. But when I saw their smile, I realized what had happened. Somehow I had gotten rid of the undesirables, the ones that had already left. The ones that wouldn't "buy into my bullshit". I realized that they were about to get into an accident and die. And all I could think was that this isn't what I wanted to have happen, all I kept saying to them was that " I am a false prophet, I am a false prophet. I didn't want this to happen, but it turns out I am a false prophet."

The only things I remember clearly, was when Rick was trying to calm me down and I was about to, but then I realized he was the Devil trying to trick me, that by 'calming me down", meant suicide. I felt he was trying to tempt me into killing myself, that even though it would be the ultimate enlightenment, that I couldn't do it. And then after I had started to view him as the Devil, I started to think of myself as God and that we having a war with words. I honestly can't remember the conversation we had, my mouth was moving, but I wasn't paying attention. In my head, as I was talking to him, I kept feeling as if the world was no long outside that door, that creation was about to begin again, that what happened now would affect how the universe got made. I also had the impression that this wasn't the first time we were having this argument. That this had happened since time immemorial. I think at one point I propositioned him for sex. I do remember saying that I was done with this struggle. That I was going to let life play out at this point. That I, as God, loved the Devil and forgave him. That we should strike a balance in the universe. After I had said my peace, I sat down and believed that from then on I would remain in that room for all eternity, watching how life played out.

It didn't help that I would periodically look at the two stoners like they were aliens encouraging me to reach enlightenment, that I was so close to getting them to congratulate me. So after Rick left and went into the bedroom (he had discarded his robe on the floor, which I took to understand that I had won), I was alone with the two aliens. I felt like I had won and that from now on this would be where I was. So I asked them "What's next?" I don't really remember much of the conversation I had with them, because I was so enthralled by my imagination, that and what I was expecting to happen, that I again wasn't paying attention to what I was saying.

But when I came to, I was standing over them "So are we going to do this?" "Do what?" "Have sex?" Yes, I thought the aliens would be down get freaky with it. I was fully expecting them to change forms and then we could all get it on. "At some point I remember fate saying, "well this is interesting" which makes sense coming from an alien. I mean I seriously thought that they were aliens that searched for people who were about to gain enlightenment. To do what with I wasn't too clear on, I wasn't an alien, and they wouldn't tell me.

This is when Rick came back, and put his robe back on, so then it was back to our war of words.

At some point during our war, asked where the other two girls were, and Rick told me that they were scared, that I was scaring them and that they were alone. It felt like it was at this point in the movie that someone had a bad premonition. When a father was rushing into a bathroom after putting all the clues and signs together and finding his daughter in the bathtub with her wrists slit. All I could think was that Becca was trying to commit suicide (it should probably be known that she had just gotten out of a mental hospital).

So of course I tried to head to the bathroom, but my friend Rick tried to stop me. At first I felt like he didn't know, then I felt as if he was the devil trying to stop me from helping my friends. I felt that if I was a true friend that I had to push past him to help the others.

Somehow I succeeded, which is honestly very surprising in hindsight. I am as far from strong as a person can get, while my two friends, (Rick and John) are both very physically active. So the fact that I was able to overpower them both is very surprising.

So I barge into the bedroom to head to the attached bathroom, and am surprised to find Becca on the bed, but I see her leaning over her lap with both wrists there facing upwards. So I get immediately scared and move to reach for her wrists with both of my hands, but as I am doing so she immediately starts to freak out and scramble to get away from me, crying and screaming the entire time. I freeze and start backing up but by that time, Rick has followed me into the bedroom and grabbed me in a head lock and dragged me out. All I could do was replay her reaction over and over, I started to hate myself. All I could think was that only by killing myself could I feel better. That I could stop feeling like a monster.

By the time I could snap out of my thoughts I was at home. As I lay on my bed, I fully expect the two aliens to walk into my house, or even the devil himself, and that then we would continue the conversation. At one point I started to strip of all my clothes so I could walk outside naked and greet the aliens that were surely out there to come get me. I refrained from doing so for some reason. So I laid back down on my bed to browse reddit.

And this is where things get a bit freaky. I open up reddit and I start going through my homepage, and I see things like a way to build a time machine, news about events as it happened in the past and present and future, and not all of it was about earth. It was like I was again god observing everything. Then I see on my homepage a new thread from /r/LSD I open it up, and I start reading. Almost immediately as I am reading I realize it is describing my entire night. And I also realize that if I were to get to the end, I would commit suicide. So I immediately stop reading and go wake up my mom and ask her to talk to me, so she does.

But then I start to think if this is the part where the unhinged guy on drugs kills his family and then himself in a murder-suicide sort of thing. So of course I tell her and we start to talk about things. At one point I was considering becoming a priest, and I'm an atheist. Also during this, I kept trying to call my friends because I was worried about them, but I wasn't able to get a hold of them.

After all this I start looking online, and I think that I either have some undiagnosed mental disorder, some unresolved mental issues, or that perhaps something I took, smoked, or drank that night/morning was laced with something.

So its at this point that I ask this subreddit for help in determining what the fuck happened. Please. It's honestly eating me up inside. I haven't seen any of my friends since that morning, all I've done in the meantime is to try to write some letters of apology. I've also contacted a few drug testing facilities around me, as well as the general hospital. But it turns out that testing for all drugs is impossible, which is understandable.

It was honestly fun before I went crazy. But it made me realize that you need to take a good hard look at what your trip is trying to tell you. Through this experience, I no longer became afraid of death, and I realized I was bi.

Thanks for reading so far, may peace and happiness find you and yours.

TL;DR: I took some LSD, smoked some weed, and got violent with friends, thought about suicide, thought about murder-suicide.

Something I wrote after my first trip >.<

This world was so similar to the one that I call home. However, here the air was fresh. It felt as if I was inhaling the atmosphere of a new born planet, rid of pollution and corruption, and pure in all its innocence. I could feel every molecule of oxygen entering my mouth and nostrils, and working its way to each corner of my body. The grass is greener on this side. In fact, in this world the entire spectrum of colour seems to stretch beyond the boundaries of what I thought possible, making the world I once knew a forgotten shade of grey.

All those we’ve ever loved
Are our other selves --
Freestanding bodies and brains
Rediscovering their Unity,
Their common Being.
In our shared gaze we glimpse god
In all its wellspring vastness,
In our touch we feel every joining of living beings
Over three billion years:
Matter, separated by its own perception,
Finally collapsing back in on itself,
Ecstatically.
And yet all is loved, not just persons --
Animals, plants, ideas, experiences.
The very sensation of living itself.
All held within our sensate embrace,
And us, in turn, within its own.

Swelling cloudbelly,

The deepform of the air

Misting inward from silverblue

Sunheart shining

A city gazes upward.

"Do not forget me when you return. For I am you and every living thing. I am the wind, the rotation of this planet, the animals, the plants and humanity. Do not fear your return. You will remember all that you need when it is most important. Here you have seen, I am life and the Earth. And isn't what I have created beautiful?"

I think the people of /TripTongue subreddit will find this quote from Master Li Hongzhi (founder of Falun Dafa) from one of his Buddha Law Lectures very interesting:

"The human mind is complex. I’ve spoken with you before about how a person’s brain is merely a processing plant. A person is born from his mother’s womb, with his parents’ flesh and blood, and then grows by consuming earthly foods. And at death, whether he’s buried in the earth or cremated, he turns to dust. The brain itself, strictly speaking, is not the origin of one’s thoughts. Don’t people have a soul? Doesn’t a person’s body also consist of a part that is at various microscopic layers and that isn’t in the surface dimension? All of those can generate thoughts. Some people have said that the human body is a miniature universe. Think about how many cells are contained in a person’s brain. And how many molecules make up those cells?

And how many even more minuscule particles make up those molecules? Each minuscule particle, as positioned in space, looks as does a celestial body to the human eye. Everyone looks outwardly. Every planet in this greater universe has life on it, only it’s not in this surface dimension and thus it’s invisible to you. America’s space technology is said to be so advanced, yet when they land on other planets they see nothing there but a desolate world. But it is not desolate there; it’s just that man’s technology is too shallow. How many planets are there in this universe? The cells, molecules, and more minuscule particles in the human brain have the same arrangement as that of the universe that we see, and even the sequencing is the same. How many particles are there in your human body?

How many planets are there inside your brain? If the lives on those minuscule particles (that is, planets) were to look upon the particles spread throughout the space of the brain, would it be any different from how human beings look at planets or the universe? If you are to look at it this way, doesn’t a person’s brain contain a large universe? And how many beings, how many gods, and how many still greater beings exist there in those dimensions? Given that all of those countless beings have their own minds, where exactly do humans’ thoughts come from? It’s extraordinarily complex."

If anyone is interested I've left a link to Zhuan Falun ( the core book of Falun Dafa ). It talks about spiritual things from a scientific perspective. It talks about other dimensions, the soul, the cosmos in the microcosm and the macrocosm, supernatural abilities, karma, healing, the true history of mankind, transcending the 5 elements and leaving the 3 realms and many many other fascinating things:

http://en.falundafa.org/eng/pdf/ZFL2014.pdf

A river coursing, soaking in the sun, I knew nothing else Then I passed under a bridge briefly, and there was shade. I'd never experienced it before I continue coursing along in the sunlight, forever changed For the moment I knew shade

I had an encounter with the spirit molecule. I was holding my breath when I blasted off. Eventually I remembered to breathe and came back slowly. once I started coming back I realized I hadn't been thinking in words because these were the first words I remember thinking when the world came back into focus...well, the first words I can remember to the best of my ability. I wrote everything down the moment I could comprehend what paper was for and what a pencil was.

eye Kneed wednesday the...pudding? wait! my jungle can is maybe March sunDay, quick! telescope MANY woRds nO WoRk....hey, back is coming....with brain and kinda getting vocab again. oh man! that was nuts. endless sidewalk curving churning twisting in a spiral tube with a morphing woman walking with a dog. seasons all happen ing at once. woman is man is woman is universe and everything is nothing but is all and one with one another. pretty colors! clean and sober! breathe...

"Everything in life leads to dissapointment" I looked at the sky, a dark sky, no stars, nothing but a vast darkness with the moon as its only fixture. "You know, it is an enlightment to know such things. To accept that everything leads to sadness and disapointment only shows that you are aware" I turn around to face him. "I've always known that, it is a simple principle. But to actually come face to face and not just know it but to see it" I reached into my pocket to pull out a cigarrette. "I was blocked, there was a translucent wall with a neon like image similar to the works of Alex Gray "I love Alex Gray" said his girlfriend. I looked at her dumbfounded, mostly because I was still trying to understand everything that I had just experienced but I also found her rather unpleasant.

As a matter of fact it had all been unpleasant, I had resented her. Her boyfriend was the one that I wanted to see.

I turned back around and rested on the fence of the balcony and continued to look into that dark sky. "I know I didn't break through" "You need to push your limit, you where only there six minutes" He said to me. "I know, something I have to try again. I've waited nearly a decade for this experience and I feel like I went on a childrens boat ride".

I finished my cigarrette and I flicked away, I turned to both of them. He sat comfortably in his chair and she stood behind him playing with his hair. "I have to go guys" they both got up to hug me good bye and showed me to the door, the effects where completely gone but I could still a lingering sensation which mostly came from the anxiety I began to fell. I walked up to my car and sat in it. I sat in the darkness for a minute and for the first time my mind was clear.

"DISAPOINTMENT" is all I could say

There was no thought process behind this emotion, it had nothing to do with the drug I had just taken. The drug was fine but it had brought out a very clear understanding. But now I felt more confused than ever. I started my car and began to drive away, I had turned off the radio, my mind clear except for that one word that began to haunt me for the rest of the night. Once I had arrived back home, I was immidiately greeted by two energetic dogs. I continued to walk motionless until I arrived to my room where I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. Anxiety was mortly gone, but the feeling of disappointment.

What was I to be disappointed about? I wasn't at the peak but nowhere near the bottom! I knew that nothing was every how I wanted it to be, but it wasn't bad. I was complacent and mostly happy.... Or so I thought... That entire night was spent on my bed reflecting on that trip, what everything meant... And why was there a wall? Why couldn't I let go?

For years I had always wanted to try DMT, and finally after reading so much and learning what I could about the experience I was not able to let go, I could not go through that barrier almost as if I was denied entry.

There’s something I found that I know is worth keeping,
It’s that love is the only thing that has meaning,
We get stuck in our mind by the shit we keep thinking,
But our heart always knows where to find what we’re seeking.

And it keeps on repeating
Again and again,
Until we start listening,
Or until it’s the end.

The way that you think and the thoughts that you use,
Are the result of a world made to keep you confused.
You must understand that the things that you feel,
Are projections of what you perceive to be real.

The illusion that makes all these lies become true.
Is them using their mind to break your mind in two.
They create a new world where we don’t want to be,
And then break all our shit and destroy what we need.

They don’t really like us,
That’s why they divide us,
They don’t want us knowing,
What we all have inside us.

Our pain is their food.
It’s fucked but it’s true.
They feed us destruction,
To keep us confused.

It’s just what they do.

One way we can win is by looking inside,
And acknowledge the shit that we wish we could hide,
And forgive all the cunts that keeps making us cry,
Unconditional love for all of mankind.

No matter who, or whatever they do,
Their reflection is not a reflection of you.
It’s their imperfections that become the connections,
Directing your questions that lead to the truth.

So when you approach a moment in time,
When everything’s fucked and you just want to cry,
And everyone sucks and you want them to die,
Just take a deep breath and go deep in your mind,
Go into to a space where your thoughts cannot hide,
And replace all their hate and erase all their lies,
You’ll change the vibrations that come from inside
And create a new way to embrace what you find.

Find their connection,
Refine your reflection,
Direct your intentions.
Then look in their eye.
Your heart will connect,
to reflect what’s inside.
Destroy their connection,
Then leave them to die.
No longer a burden,
to your beautiful mind.
You might be surprised.
At what you could find.

It changes the way we behave when we say to their face that they made a mistake that reflects all the shit we collect and deflect to the next situation reacting in ways that keeps making it worse turning words into weapons that threaten and weaken connections we need to present our intentions without us pretending to share the same meanings of words that we use to interpret the truth with the reasons behind all the thoughts that we speak when we don’t know we’re thinking revealing this world we refer to as perfect is worthless if searching with ways that are hurting the earth and divert from its purpose leaving versions of people to reverse the true meaning misleading their lives while they walk around sleeping rehearsing the reasons that give away freedom while the children they breed can only see pieces that leave them repeating our misleading teachings to strengthen the feeling that lives in the dark and the cold lonely parts of our heart so our mind can obsess and repress all the thoughts that we know that we need and neglect what our eyes are unwilling to see and pretend to be free while the birds in the trees are not heard and not seen while disturbed human beings kill the earth with their words so the world becomes worse and the version of all that we were has been taken and broken by lonely connections that trick us in ways that we knew all along as we tried to belong but the truth is we choose to ignore and confuse what is right and what’s real to reveal how we could never have ever been more incredibly wrong….

Astounded by people that don’t want to know Surrounded by people but still so alone

sometimes these days seem to make too much sense
when i see how the things in my life all connect
and then sometimes i think that its all in my head
unsure of the meanings of words i have said

this world seems aware
when i cease to arrange things
if i choose not to care
about what the next day brings

it wants me to know
how it chooses the meanings
of the choices it chose
when it chose them without me

i watch from a distance and observe the connections
and learn if my mind can define its intentions

a world with no words to describe my surroundings
my thoughts can be seen as they circle around me

by choosing to feel which words i believe in
i can hear what i think when my mind isnt thinking

to define what we see when our mind is set free
we combine what we find with the will to believe
refined over time a technique to perceive
a life that our eyes are designed not to see

alone in a boat
overwhelmed by the feeling
that something can hear
all the thoughts
that im thinking
and someone must also
be searching for reasons
with somebody somewhere
discovering meanings
with answers to questions
from different dimensions
intensely connected
reflecting perfection

when whatever i do
in my life at all times
is guided from choices
kept separate from mine
a world with a purpose
returns to the surface
and connects my intentions
with whatever it finds

it seems we can be
both perfect and worthless
when were trapped in a world
filled with things that can hurt us

until something inside us can emerge to unite us
the earth will provide us with ways to divide us
the words that we speak dissolve back into silence
weve severed the ties that were used to define us

i accept that the world will make choices to change me
so that even the worst things can truly amaze me
i can hear all these voices that say im not crazy
but they could be my clones that i made to replace me

distracting the voices that live in my mind
to see if they left me some treasure to find
hidden inside of their vibrational prisons
they disguised them as one of my delusional visions

describing a word that i heard with more words is absurd
and it hurts even worse as these words get dispersed
a curse in this verse disturbs words here on purpose
reversing the words from the previous verse is perfect
last words spoken first to make the faster words hurt us
the worst curse on earth is when words appear worthless

my noun can be used to define what your verb is
my sound can vibrate worthless words till their perfect

ill destroy who i was to understand who i am
by following my thoughts back to where they began

inside of my mind i can follow my thoughts
and i chase them behind what appear to be doors
these doors are the last place a thought has to hide
when i kick down the door i destroy whats inside

inside of my mind with no lies to confuse me
im searching for things to surprise and amuse me
this world likes observing itself through my eyes
it decides for us both what we do with our time

the meanings of words that repeat every verse
are rehearsed and increasingly worthless
which means that instead of believing
that words are the reason for speaking
it seems that our words are a curse
that reverse the true meaning of thoughts
if theyre forced to describe what your mind
really finds when it thinks about thoughts
that it wrote when i was bored and got high

sometimes this place can seem way too intense
when i cant see how all of the pieces connect
but lately ive had all these thoughts in my head
that keep changing the meanings of words that ive said

sometimes i think back to where this began
to that boy that i left to become who i am
i wonder who i would have grown up to be
if i hadnt of listened to that voice inside me

the voice said some words i could not understand
so it explained what it meant and came up with a plan

i will help you to see why your thoughts are repeating
and destroy any thoughts that dont have the right meaning
i will search for the thoughts that you formed as a boy
those old voices made choices that we need to destroy

i will teach you to feel every thought as you think it
ill destroy the bad thoughts before you can speak it
think with your heart and your thoughts will have feelings
if you like how it feels than those thoughts are worth keeping

ill destroy every thought that was not part of me
until all that remains are the thoughts we believe
you can see the world now as it was meant to be seen
as a holographic fractal reflecting all human beings

i follow the path that im allowing to guide me
with an ocean of words to describe whats inside me
in a boat made of stone its becoming so clear
that if i need to be something
i should choose to be everything

creating these lines in the sky with my eyes
i make clouds you can use to see sounds in your mind
look into these sounds
to see through your surroundings
revealing the truth that your eyes try to hide

harmonically tuned to the sound of your mind
like spectrums of sound inside fractals of light
a dimension of beauty
too profound to describe
it connects us directly to the source of all life

a connection from somewhere beyond space and time
to something so perfect that it must be alive

it can only be heard when we speak with our eyes
and can only be seen with the sounds in our mind

vibrational clouds ensure the sounds will survive
to connect all of us with the truth that we find
and break down this destructive perception of time
to reside in the presence of the truly divine

when life can look out from the sky in your mind
and see its reflection
throughout infinite lives
no questions to ask
of this eternal mind
just unconditional love for all of mankind

reject the perception
to reveal your intentions
and then follow your questions
until you find where they came from

combining these lines with the sounds of the clouds
will define what your mind can allow to be found
revealing the truth that the life we live now
are lies that we keep in a mind with no sound

the truth that surrounds me will always astound me
that one conscious mind is the source of all life

It feels like I’m rowing a boat made of stone,
I built it myself as I grew up alone,
My thoughts are my oars and my head is my home,
I'm searching for something more solid than stone.

The wind and the sun and the moon and the sky,
Are faithful companions, always by my side.

The wind blows direction,
The sun is my guide,
The sea that surrounds me,
Reflects the whole sky.

"As above, so below!" Said the sea to the sky,
The wind blowing gently as the sun caught my eye.

"As below, so above!" said the sky to the sea,
"Do I reflect you or do you reflect me?"

I sat in my boat and I looked at the sea,
The answer, I thought, was as plain as could be.

I sat in my boat for the rest of the day,
And watched as the sun and the sky played a game,
They connected reflections as they colored the sea,
A collective reflection connecting all three.

A reflection so bright, it turned day into night,
And reset the reflections back how they should be.

With his last ray of light the Sun said Goodbye,
And assured me his light would remain in my eye.

"Sometimes at night I share my light with the Moon,
And she reflects it back down to the wind and the sea,
So don’t be afraid in your boat made of stone,
The moonlight is connected directly to me."

I watched the sun set and I waved him Goodbye,
Alone in my boat when the moon caught my eye.

I knew I was safe with the moon by my side.
The light that she shares will act as my guide.
But the wind that once blew had begun to subside,
While the sea that surrounds me had started to cry....

So I asked him why
And he gently replied:

"The moon is so blue, it's sad but it’s true,
She longs for a light of her own to guide you.
Surrounded by darkness, her heart torn in two,
She sees her reflection but not her connection,
And that makes her sad, so I am sad too."

In a boat made of stone I sat all alone,
On a sea that was crying for his sad friend the moon.
All of the sadness has got me confused.
Without the sun here, I'm not sure what to do.

So I said to the moon, "There's no need to be sad,
The reflection you see in the sea isn’t bad.
In fact, that reflection can only be seen,
By the light that you have that you shine down on me"

"There’s no light of my own in my boat, so you see
I'd be lost in the darkness and so would the sea."

"So I can never get lost or forget what to do,
All thanks to the light that reflects down from you"

"You share the light of your old friend the sun,
And reflect it all night until day has begun.
So someone like me, the wind and the sea,
Will always be safe and will always be seen."

"So you and the sun and the sky and the sea,
Project your reflections down on all living things.
You get your reflection direct from the sun,
And you share that connection but reflect it as one"

"So please don’t be sad you beautiful moon,
There really is no need for you to be blue"

She smiled at me, her mind seemed at ease,
She’ll watch over me safely in my boat while I sleep.

The moon was still shining when I opened my eyes,
She gave me a smile as she waved me goodbye.
I sat in my boat and watched the sun rise,
And thought of the moon as the sun lit the sky.

The sea told the sun of what I had done,
How they share a connection reflected as one.

The sun started laughing as he lit up my eyes.

"My son" said the sun, "You most certainly shine,
But that light that I see in your eyes is not mine"

"Down there in that boat made of stone that you row,
You heard the sea cry as the wind ceased to blow.
I said you would find my light in the moon,
But the light that you found was the light inside you."

"You shone your light up from your boat made of stone.
You helped calm the sea and you cheered up the moon.
They saw their reflections and they knew they were true,
They saw their connections reflected from you."

"What do you mean?" I said to the sun.
"How can the sky and the sea become one?"

"There IS only one, we're all one and the same,
The truth you are seeking is all part of a game."

"A game played with who? The sky and the sea?"
I said to the sun as he shone down on me.

"Well actually my son, we're playing with you,
And with all of the others who come seeking the truth"

Stuck in my boat as I question the sun.
"The truth about what? That you are all one?"

"The truth about you that you learned from me,
The truth that you saw in the sky and the sea,
The truth that you knew as you lit up the moon,
The truth that you seek is a reflection of you"

"You mean that I’m part of the moon and the sky,
And the wind and the sea are all parts of me?"
It sounds like a lie and it's hard to believe
An invisible game that’s so hard to see.

"It's hard to believe, I know" he agreed,
"That's why it’s a secret so please be discreet".
There's people like you that want to believe,
They just need some time, be patient, you'll see"

I want to believe but it seems very strange.
Why would the sun want to make it a game?
It must surely be better if everyone knew
That they were all one with the sun and the moon.

"They'll know when it's time. Only then can they know.
They have to come sailing in their own boats of stone.
They have to come looking, they cannot be shown,
The seekers of truth must seek on their own.
The connection we share will help them to think,
Or their boats made of stone are more likely to sink."

"You surely must know how that boat that you row,
The one that you built growing up all alone,
Should really have sunk for stone cannot float,
So how do you think you got into this boat?"

"It's those oars made of thoughts,
And the wind there to guide you,
Adrift on an ocean of truth that surrounds you,
Reflecting a light that you shine from inside you,
The thoughts that you think will become what defines you."

"But what about people that don’t want to see,
Who never come looking?
Can they ever be free?
Aren’t they connected with you and with me?
With the moon and the sky and the wind and the sea?"

"Although they’re united, their words still divide them.
Their thoughts must emerge from the light that's inside them"

"Guiding them blindly are words with no feeling,
Unaware that these words are not all they are thinking,
These thoughts that they think will continue repeating,
Unless they can find their words real meaning."

"Words come from thoughts,
And our thoughts come from everywhere.
If they forget how to think,
Then they won’t try to understand.
Severed connections that have no directions,
Can never reflect our collective intentions."

"Sometimes there’s those who can see their reflection,
Uniting their mind with subconscious perfection.
Accessing thoughts through a cosmic connection,
Reflecting their heart with their souls true intention."

"Without asking questions they continue along,
Overwhelmed by a feeling that something is wrong,
Strangely consumed by their need to belong.
Surrounded by people but still so alone."

"They believe what they're told and not what they feel.
Distorting the thoughts that define what is real.
Their thoughts turn to words as they forget how to think,
So their boats made of stone are destined to sink"

I think that I thought that my words were the meanings,
Of these thoughts I had thunk without even thinking,
And that’s why my boat made of stone wasn't sinking,
And that’s why those people who spoke without feeling,
Could not understand what I thought I was thinking.

So how do you think I think I was feeling?
When writing these words with subliminal meanings.
Refining each verse with the words I was speaking,
Defining my thoughts to rehearse how I’m thinking.

Who is the moon and what was she saying?
And what is the game that the suns always playing?
What if the sea couldn’t see his reflection?
And what if there isn’t a need for these questions?
Where is the wind and why is it blowing?
Can words of truth be told without knowing?

The answers you seek with the truth that you know,
Are the answers you need to turn words into stone.
Your boat is complete when your head is your home,
When your thoughts become oars and the wind starts to blow,
As the sea that surrounds you reflects the unknown.

This life that we live is not made of stone.
It’s the love that we give that helps us to grow.
All in the same boat, we're beginning to see,
What connects us together is as plain as could be.

Sitting in silence I feel it inside me,
It's guiding my mind with intrinsic complexity.
Refining my methods undefined by society,
Reflecting my thoughts to create my reality.
Rejecting this world and its blatant insanity,
Correcting these words to how they were meant to be.
Those words that were lost are returning with clarity.
Compelled by a voice that knows nothing and everything.
I remember what was and all that could ever be.

We all have the choice to see what we want to see.
It’s time we all tried to see through this reality,
Infusing our hearts with compassion and empathy.
Our mind has become the only thing that can set us free.

I can barely remember the things I’ve been shown,
And I rarely prepare for my mind to be blown.
But I know that the light that’s inside is my own,
And it connects me to all of the thoughts I have known,
A collection of thoughts with words made of stone.
So when it finally comes time for us all to go home.
We will know once again, together my friends,
That despite what we thought.

We were never alone.

Quietly residing somewhere deep in my mind
Are the answers to questions I’m not ready to find.
The keeper of secrets repeating them secretly,
Revealing their meanings through places in time.

One thought that I found that I know is worth keeping,
Is that love is the only thing that has meaning,
When we lose ourselves to the shit we keep thinking,
It’s our heart that will help us to find what we’re needing.

Every moment is a moment I want to be a part of.

I can't love everything because there is too much of everything to love.

--

I will experience time in a moment,

because I am nothing but a moment.

I have a suggestion... How about we as a species just pause this little "religion" experiment. We don't have to completely destroy it, nor do we have to settle any of the debates on the existence and (if so) the identity/identities of any hypothetical being(s). We'd merely be taking a small break for a small temporary period of time. Let's say, 1 month.

Not that it has been all bad. In fact, we know some subjects experienced an increase in quality of life, many experienced a feeling of enlightenment. However, over the few hundreds of thousands of years of us being here on earth (intelligently), there have been... a few... incidents.

Therefore, for the duration of 1 month, we completely forget about the religious scriptures and temples, and the only rules is: you do what you want with your life, as long as it doesn't hurt/damage anyone else's in any way shape or form. E.g, don't be a fucking cunt.

We try that out for just 1 month... we quantify that shit... we'll do the math... and if we find that there was less death, misery, destruction and other forms of fucked-up-ness in the world WITH religion, we go back. A single month, that's all I'm asking for.

The article made me feel sick to my stomach, is what I'm trying to say.

be careful my family, for the planes are vast and navigation is a skill built through experience. we can get lost out here even when we wish to journey home, the will manifests the outcome but remember, everything may not happen for a reason, but everything happens at least. I have left this realm for a long time and observed time as it's true physical malleable human created self. I am glad to reoccupy this body and it is good to be home once again. be careful my family, for we truly know nothing.

So lets just say I've been out of the game for a while. I used to have awesome trips about 15 years ago, lots of blotter. But then it became so hard to find and a few times I got either beat hits, or stuff that seemed like some other research chem. Anyways I gave up and figured it was an endangered species. I'm in Nj and would love to trip again!

Oh the beauty of slumber
To escape the tears of regret
To turn away perceptions, expectations
Into the sweet serenity of ignorance

Be strong
And feel weak
Move forward
By abandoning my soul

How i wish
To fly away
And forget,
To sleep
Dream
And start anew.

How about weird shit like I'm wearing the hoodie I've been looking for for two months only because my roommates stumble in from day drinking drunk as fuck, and I look for this hoodie everyday. Sober as shit, I look for it. Every. Day. It's a dope blue grey, more like charcoal, disappeared around new years, before cuz I was in my red hoodie one the Eve, it's warm, good material, mainly cotton but enough polywhatever to keep me warm and you still interested in this anecdotal piece of the paranormal. As one primate walked by something caught the hall closet door and flung it open and boom there's my hoodie hanging right there. I spent time in that closet last night, just examining the dimensions of my home and it wasn't there, lights were on door was open. No blue hoodie. I am 100% positive this life has existed at the same moment as everything in all of existence past present and future, all the possible past me's running around from all the different butterflies flapping their wings using my hoodies, losing my lighters and trying to do somethin with the now. And I am no different from any of them I am one of the me's running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

Started last weekend, feeling real cool

Then I fell out of the bottom of a swimmingpool

They took away my drugs and sendt me to school

But I won't take them orders, I won't be no tool

my transdimensional mona lisa,

She leaves her shadows on this reality,

shifting fractal form of beauty

reality fraying at her edges

eyes speaking of cosmic secrets

Beauty made elemental

Sloughing off the language of flesh

of human features

breaking off into geometric ideals

into realms beyond reckoning

beyond mortal knowledge

into the shadowy realms

of wonder and mystery and intrigue

Tracing her ineffable essence

leaving her scent on reality’s pages

leaving shadows of herself in the corners of your vision

in a direction that cannot be pointed to

woven through time and space

weft to warp

from cleopatra to helen

you were all these

a thousand cycles of death and rebirth in your eyes

fiction suit for a thousand enigmas

Unanswerable riddles

that cannot be spoken of in words

but only the higher language of soul and mind

The answer is there, in her eyes,

but you can never look deep enough to truly know it

Only feel it with your soul and substance