Where the fuck do I begin?

I'm 36 now.

I grew up in the 90's in a middle-class home with two working parents, an older brother of 12 years, 2 cats, and a dog. We had a white house, a long white picket fence, and we lived in a quite neighborhood. I had 2 grandmothers and 1 grandfather. A shit ton of aunts and uncles, and even more cousins. We were semi close to our nonimmediate family, but that seemed to vanish as we all got older.

I was a skinny fuck. I had a bowl cut and dimples. Regardless of my size and weight, it was easy for me to make friends. I guess I hadn't allowed all the childhood trauma to affect me yet. My mom used to pick out my outfits; she would make me go to all the department stores for clothes. I remember the Parisians, Belk, Macy's, JC Pennys (or just Pennies as my mom would call it) I even remember getting a couple sets of duds from Sears. I swear she had an addiction to pissing away money, but to be fair, she had a great job at the time as did my dad.

My mom worked in marketing for Panasonic - so we always got cool shit. The best perk was free tickets to any sporting or music event in Atlanta. I can remember going to see the Atlanta Knights, the Atlanta Falcons, the Braves, Disney on ice, and even Elton John.

My dad who was originally from North Carolina, worked at the General Motors plant in Doraville, where he retired from after 32 years. My dad was always my biggest fan - He taught me to ride a bike and how to throw a baseball. The typical dad. I am grateful for him.

Trauma:

Lol, I should have saved the "where the fuck do I begin?" for here.

(9 years old) My best friend Donnie was killed in a car crash. He and his family were leaving the lake when a car t-boned their van and Donnie was ejected from the window. His chest was completely sliced open and he bled to death in his moms' arms; she was an RN. :(

At the time I was in North Carolina visiting with my grandparents. My parents didnt have cell phones, so we didnt find out until we got home.... almost a week later. I remember my friend Thomas's mom calling nonstop when we finally did get home. I was in the living room watching 'Slam Dunk Earnest' and then my mom comes in the room and said she needed to tell me something. I can remember her trying to explain that he had passed away, and asked me if I wanted to say a prayer for him. I went to my room and sat by myself; I didn't fully understand death as this was the 1st time I was experiencing a loss. Since we were at my grandparents for a week, Donnie's funeral had already happened. I didn't even get to see my friend for one last time. I still get sad to this day because he was supposed to come spend the night with me once we got back from my Papa and Grandmas.

I remember the school called my parents and asked me a our classroom to come in on a Saturday - we all met in the art room across from the library. They sat us down and offered comfort through counceling. While we were sitting there talking about Donnie and life, I was looking around the room and glancing at all the art work from the 4th graders. He had a picture on the wall of a big-headed alien riding a rocket and crashing into a donut shop. lol. Donnie was an exceptional artist for his age. He and I both loved ALIENS! LOVED ALIENS!!! . I asked the teacher if I could have the drawing and she said yes. I still have it to this day. I miss him and have missed him my entire life. I often wonder where he would be in life today. I still to this day don't understand why he had to leave. I to this day hate God for taking him.

My own mother, the bitch. The fucking devil, and that's being pretty mean to Satan himself. Sorry, Diablo, but someone allowed this bipolar cesspool to exist and procreate.

Now really.... where the fuck do I begin? This is the whole premise of this dialog I am typing.

(7-9 years old) I can't recall why or where we were coming from, but we had my cat in the car. The cat being a cat, was mortified that it was in the car. Keep in mind my mom didnt have him in some sort of carrier like a normal person, so the cat was flying around inside her Astro van. Something pissed my mom off so bad that she grabbed my cat by the neck and rolled the driver window down and held him out the window while we were driving down the road. That image to this day is cemented into my brain. I can close my eyes and still see it. Fucked me up big time. I was bawling my eyes out begging my mom not to drop my cat. She yanked him back in a threw him to the back and that's all I can remember. I was probably expected to act like nothing had happened. Like always.

I'm sure I was an asshole at times, I was just a kid being a kid, but I can't remember if I deserved some of the face slaps and hair pulls that she did to me. The strong wrist squeezes, the bruises on my ass cheeks, the red welps on my face... I guess I was oblivious. She would scream and yell, she would cuss, she would throw shit, break shit. I would hide in my room.

(10 years old ish) I was playing baseball for a local church recreational league. Hebron Baptist Church to be exact. I was pitching and obviously just not having a good day. Thats normal. I was throwing balls, not getting the called strikes I wanted. Just an off day. Well I guess that was embarassing my mom in the bleachers, because she started shouting out for me to roll them in if I couldnt throw them in.... over and over and over again to the point where the umpire intervened and told her to shut up or he was going to toss her out of the park. The game is at a standstill now because my mom and the ump are going back and forth. I'm standing in the middle of the field on the pitchers mound and could feel everyone looking at me. How embarassing. "You're out of here!" shouted the umpire. He tossed my mom out and told her to go to the car until the game was over. Once again, embarrassing as fuck. These were kids from school that I was playing with, so I knew this wasnt going to just stay at the game, it was going to bleed outside and into my personal life as well. I dont know why my dad didnt say something to her. He let it happen. I remember that to this day.

(6-8 years old) It's true that cats land on their feet. I can still see my mom throwing my elderly cat down the basement stairs for peeing in the house. I was pleading with her to please let me cat go and she opened the basement door and threw her down 14 stairs. She landed on her feet but slammed into the wall. :( I too can still see this if I close my eyes.

(7 years old) My brother had this toy gun, made of plastic, and when he wasnt home, I would play with it. I guess I was fooling around outside, being a kid, and I fell. I had the plastic gun in my hand and whatever I slammed against it caused the pistol to break and the plastic sliced my hand open. I immediately ran inside crying because it hurt, but mostly because it was pouring blood everywhere. My mom rushed me into the bathroom and stuck my hand in the sink... the whole time I was crying and saying please mommy I dont want to die, I dont want to die. Being the award-winning mother she was, she kept saying, "you're gonna die, you're gonna die." Comforting quote to tell your child. I can still hear it.

Let's talk about dad for a second.

While my mom was a piece of shit, my dad was no immediate exception. I remember he was a heavy drinker when I was really little. My brother told me a story of one time when he was little, mom and dad were fighting and apparently our dad grabbed his loaded shotgun and aimed it at our mother. As morbid as it sounds........ maybe he should have....ahh.. nevermind. Missed opportunity. Oh well. Thanks dad for not blowing mom out the front door. Thanks for keeping it civil.

My dad was not the person you wanted to be around when you were in trouble either. Mom would hit me and slap me, but my dad was loud and big and always had, the belt. I can still hear him popping it to scare me when he was chasing me for my punishment. I can still remember getting walloped with it. He went bare ass cheek to leather belt. If he couldn't get my bare cheek, he settled for my legs. I remember one time getting hit so hard that I had a hard time walking up the stairs to go to my room. My legs were buckling from the throbbing pain and shivering still from fear that my dad just beat the fuck out of me. Let an hour pass and they both acted like nothing happened.

That is like my family's motto - if we don't talk about it, it didnt happen.

Regardless of the fucked-up shit, I still loved my parents more than anything! They loved me back, but it just didn't seem like it sometimes. I think they would buy me stuff to try and make me forget the punishments or when one of them was being mean. Fucked up part is I have the same genes and I get overly angry when I shouldnt. I dont want to be like that. I dont want to be that way to my kids. I dont want them to grow up fucked in the head like I am. I'm pretty much broken at this point.

Any ways, Dad was Dad, but man he could get mean.

Aside from the negative, he was awesome to me as a kid. He spent so much of his free time playing baseball with me. He went to Play it again sports and bought full catchers gear just so he could practice my pitching. I appreciate what he did for me when it comes to sports. I will always remember those beautiful times growing up. Thanks, Dad.

Leonie Gritzka is a missing german girl. She was 15 as she vanished in october 2016. She was last seen getting in a car with two unidentified, older men. The mother of her is sure that she got in contact with someone trough her facebook account. But the german authorities can't look in that account because of our data security laws. She's looking for someone who could hack the password of her facebook account. Can someone help? You can search the case up if you want.

Her account: https://www.facebook.com/Angerfist09

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGdd8531P/

🙏

🌝🌚

How’s he ?

My(43 f) daughter (20 f) who is absolutely gorgeous and has always had issues with her image and self worth has recently given birth to my perfect grandson 6 weeks ago. We don't know who the father is but one of three people it could be has stepped up and has been there through everything. She worked through her entire pregnancy and saved up to get her own car last year and we were more than proud of her. Before finding out that she was pregnant, she had developed a drinking habit. I myself have a drinking habit so I knew that I needed to say something then, but she came home from vacation pregnant and I really didn't have the chance nor the reason to as she could not drink for 9 months. Well, she went on maternity leave once she had given birth, for 5 weeks. In that 5 weeks she has drank almost every single day. We have tried to speak with her about this but she says she is on vacation and will stop once she goes back to work. Flash forward to 3 nights ago, she goes to her midnight shift, her first one since giving birth, drunk. I keep the baby when she is at work and sleeping and doing other tasks as she lives with me, this was my idea cause I wanted her to save her money and work, and the guy that stepped up, we will call him D, has been here as well. Well, he went back to work and it is on the road, out of state. He has been gone for 2 almost 3 weeks now and they have been arguing over the phone a lot. I hear it almost everyday, or hear her complain about him. That's whatever, it's usually nothing to really complain about like not calling back immediately or not liking one of her pictures, but yesterday it was about her drinking. She had been at his sister's house while he was on the road, at a birthday party. Well apparently she had been drinking over there and drove home under the influence, and never called him back after leaving so he called me and told me all of this. I go to look at my outdoor cameras to see if she had the baby or looked drunk etc, and I see a boy I knew was not D. He had come over and spent the night by what the cameras are showing. I called her out and asked her why, because that isn't like her despite the baby daddy situation... trust me I feel just as crazy reading that as I sound writing it. But I swear she is a good girl she just has a lot of insecurities and was with her dad who wasn't the best role model during some important years of her life so I try my best to give her the benefit of the doubt. But after today I really don't know what to do. I went upstairs and poured out her alcohol, and she went ballistic screaming in my face. She came back and apologized hours later but threatened to take my grandson out of my life if I don't 'get off her back '. Her doctor has prescribed her an antidepressant, and I'm hoping that it will start to help but what can I do or say to help her?? I'm so scared for her and my grandchild. Scared she is going to do something she will regret and hate herself or worse, end up in a situation that hurts them both.

I just got accepted fir cash and food stamps I am a mother of 2. One 3 years and one 5 months. I get 768 in stamps and 194 in cash. But I looked it up they said I should be getting 300 and up is that true ??

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