(TNG s2e1, featuring Riker ofc)

Felt really dumb when I realized I could have just beamed over.

I recently read an article in the Federation Times about the species that the Enterprise discovered and how they'd seeded life in our part of the galaxy.

Then I read another article about some people called "The Preservers" and another where there's mention of someone named "Sargon" and how his people seeded our world.

Then I read something about how the Prophets of Bajor are responsible for at least one guy's entire existence... And another about how the Q may have played a part in the formation of life on our planet.

And then there's this guy...

Which Gods am I supposed to pray to!?

Because I failed my 4th grade Calculus final.

But he's already replicated everything he could ever want.

Also, I think it might be sentient because it told me that it's rainforest alliance certified.

Is it just me, or has computer technology taken a big step 400 years backwards?

But she's disgusted by non-replicated food.

I don't care what your crazy idea is.

Every time we encounter something new, our sensor readings go "off the scale." As an exploration vessel, we need accurate readings of novel phenomena. The sensors' output should be able to scale logarithmically.

Also, now he's missing.

Oh my god, we're doomed.

So I thought I'd use this information sharing network called 'the internet' using these 'computers' (That don't even have voice controls!) to see if someone could help me...

I mean, it'd be nice if those few seconds weren't worthless. Why doesn't anyone want to join our perfection?