Assassin's Creed MDCCLXXXIII: Black Flag II is the highly-anticipated, new, pirate game. Taken place a long time ago in the year 2480, at the dawn of personal space travel, when Space Pirates were still big. Coming out May 29th, 3000, next week. I'm ready for it!

Looks suspiciously like a George Carlin Avatar. Apparently we can expect some colorful metaphors.

"This isn't like the other editions," Borg beamed in interview, "There are about fifteen more minutes of undocumented Jar Jar footage that we are going to release. Who convinced Han to return? Was it his conscience, or Jar Jar? Who really helped Obi Wan surpass death? Was it solely Qui- Gon, or did he have a little help from a Gungan friend? If you had any doubt about the Star Wars series before, it will all be cleared up by the end of the two trilogies."

My great great great grandfather was telling me about his ansestors from the earlier 2000s about how they were forced to go to a big building called a Church on Sundays and worship and prey some God and his son Jeff. Yet there was no scientific proof that these even existed. Apparently it was the source of much fighting and conflict on Planet Earth because different people believed in different mystical Gods in which none of them had any proof of! Haha! I'm interested in hearing more about this. I can't believe our species used to be so primitive and gullible.

I heard Black Mesa is nearly done, and might be releasing in the next few decades.

What else should I do to occupy my time?

I recently got the cyberdress-3020T. Things have been going great. We go out often but recently, I noticed it won't put out any more. It just lays there and simulates depression. What should I do?

Seriously this is pathetic. We're using an input method developed over a thousand years ago. 9gag already switched to direct mind control over 200 years ago!

Seriously Reddit, what the hell? It took me over 2 weeks to even fiund a way to connect this "keyboard" to my computer. Isn't it time for an update already?