"You ever hear of little Jimmy Marcone? He was the grandson of Sal Marcone, the iron jawed ruler of the New Orleans mob. Young Jimmy had no stomach for violence, and no interest in criminal activity, in fact he was a wonderful painter and an excellent art historian, he made this delightfully intricate landscape of an Italian villa...

He felt obligated to take up the torch once grandpa Sal died, and quickly realized that he was not cut out for the life. But he continued to tell himself he didn't have a choice, that this was the path carved in stone for him.

He was shot dead in a dingy alleyway when a drug deal went sideways. He hadn't painted anything in years.

This life is unpleasant, fleeting and lonely. Why waste your time tending to what someone else built when you have your own path to carve?"

I had a cousin, just a baby. He used to dig at his skull, relentlessly! He had no hair to speak of, just a wisp, so you could see these marks on his scalp. Hideous! They took him to the doctor of course, could find nothing in his skin or scalp or any reason why he should be doing this. But it persisted. Until finally one day his mother noticed an extrusion in his finger, She had the doctor see him and he removed it. Problem solved. Turned out it was an errant fingernail. An anomaly the doctor said but could be the last remnant of a twin, his body having absorbed the rest. My point being, sometimes the problem is not what it appears, but could actually be something adjunct - an anomaly.

Liz: Red, there is no air coming in here. We have to get out.

Red: (removes and sets hat on lap) Oxygen deprivation is a tricky thing. It may make things appear as they really aren't. I was following a guide once through the Andes in South America, packing a huge load of Columbian emeralds. Excruciatingly heavy! Also, very valuable. I still have scars on my shoulders from that strap by the way. . But we pushed on. Up and up and up. We had to meet our plane on a desolate runway and they would not wait long for obvious reasons. The oxygen began to get thinner and thinner. Thoughts would enter and flee my brain like scurrying bunnies. The air was thin but the gravity became absolute! Leaves and fronds swam before my eyes until finally it all cleared. I could breathe. I could see. And the runway with the waiting plane was there, ready to take me away.

Liz: Fine story Red, but how does that apply to us?

Red: Because "our plane" - in the form of a well paid security guard - should land just about (checks watch and dons hat) now. The outside door clicks open.

[edited spelling]

Are you familiar with the story of Christopher Mccandless? He too wanted to slip the bonds of humanity, to leave behind all true parts of life he deemed "unnecessary". He went into the Alaskan wilderness, hoping to create a new life for himself. His body was found 113 days later in an abandoned bus. In the haunting final entries of his journal, he spoke not of food, not of warmth, but of companionship. All he wanted was someone to be with him at the end. So before you decide that human connection isn't worth the effort, think of poor Christopher in that bus. Cold, miserable, and alone. And then Donald, ask yourself is that is what you wish to strive for.

This is my first attempt, an idea I came up with tonight.

RED finishes taking a bite of Osso Bucco and looks at LIZ, who has just arrived.

RED: Lizzie! Have a seat, won't you?

LIZ sits hesitantly at the table, as RED slowly, deliberately wipes his mouth with a napkin.

RED: Best Osso Bucco in DC. Of course, Giuseppi in the back, bless his heart, still can't compete with the Osso I had in Marrakesh. Really non traditional, it was marinated with all sorts of Moroccan spices that really made it special. I was there to help quell an uprising, this tin pot dictator thought he had a devilish plan to overthrow the Moroccan government by taking the country's most famous city. Of course, just like most other men with daddy issues out there, he had no idea what he was doing. It was easy enough for me to do a favor for King Hassan. Nice guy, really knew how to party.

RED chuckles softly.

RED (continued): I had an extra day, a chance to explore. Found this restaurant, if you could even call it that - the place was a true definition of a hole in the wall. I'm certain it violated all sorts of health codes. Still, the meal was delicious. I mean, absolutely divine. The meat just fell off the bone and melted in your mouth. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they had slow cooked that thing for weeks. The lady, she was barely making ends meet, so I did what I could to make sure she could keep that place going. Sadly, years leader I went looking and even I couldn't find her. I suppose our next Blacklister could, though as delicious as that Osso Bucco was, it'd be a waste of his talents. So I just suffice with Giuseppi here. Anyway, our next Blacklister goes by THE FINDER, and he's just exactly what he sounds like...

Welcome, fellow fans and newcomers, to /r/storieswithred! This is a tiny FAQ post to get you acquainted with what's what.

• Who is Raymond Reddington?

Raymond "Red" Reddington is one of the lead characters from the American crime drama television series The Blacklist. (Spoilers in both links.)

• What are these "stories"?

If you've watched The Blacklist, you know that Red has a tendency to suddenly wander off topic and narrate a story, which soon turns out to actually be related to the ongoing discussion. This subreddit tries to mimic that style using the stories submitted by the users.

• Are there any limitations to the submissions?

The only limitations are that the submitted anecdote must involve Red narrating a story, and that it should be spoiler-tagged as instructed by the sidebar.
The stories can be anything, really, but they must capture the essence of his storytelling. (You know how he is). They can be sweet, or dark, or something new. They can be in first, second or third person. They can be a single wall of text in a self-post or a link to another webpage containing the story. They can come from the canon or can be fan-made. They can involve Red in any situation and/or with any characters you wish. Just let your imagination run wild.

That's all I can think of for now. If there are any more questions or confusions, ask them below and I'll help out. Maybe I'll put them up here too.

Although I've been given the title of "moderator" on a few subs, I've never really moderated any. This is the first time I'm creating a sub from scratch, so if any of you guys have experience modding and feel like helping out, be sure to comment below. I'll take time to accept mods because I'm paranoid that way, but comment nonetheless. It doesn't hurt!

Edit: changed Raymund to Raymond.