/r/skyrimdadjokes
Terrible and sometimes hilariously weak humor about, or referencing TESV: Skyrim.
Huzzah! /r/skyrimdadjokes!
Submission Rules
Keep it Skyrim related.
Don't put the punchline in the title!
Make it absolutely groan-worthy!
Comment Rules
Don't harass other users.
No false reporting. (3 Day Ban)
No "trolling"
The mod team will remove stuff at our discretion.
Spoilers added! [](#s "spoiler text goes here")
/r/skyrimdadjokes
28,349 Subscribers
What do you call an illusion spell that makes people your ally?
#Friendsy
19:08 UTC
Does that draugr hate me ...
... or is it just resting lich face?
23:02 UTC
How did the dwemer invented cars while the other races couldn't ?
They had the WHEEL to do it.
01:41 UTC
Former president T**** has the best selling book in the Soul Cairn
#"The Art of the Ideal Masters"
14:55 UTC
Aela started her own YouTube channel!
It's called Lycansubscribe
18:52 UTC
The Thalmor signed the White-Gold Concordat with the Empire, but with the Hist they signed a ...
... tree-ty
20:11 UTC
I am the dragonborn, a force for good in the world. I've eliminated the Dark Brotherhood, and the Thieves Guild is next. I will hit their headquarters. But which shout should I use... oh of course!
FLAGONREND
14:17 UTC
Ever hear about the Khajiit tailor?
He has wears if you have the coin.
02:48 UTC
My mom walked in on me decapitating a bandit
She freaked out, saying, "that's too violent!". I said, "woah, mom, decapitation isn't something to lose your head over".
02:47 UTC
I thought about studying Illusion but ...
... I just can't see myself doing it.
00:05 UTC
Potema asked a corpse she had just raised, "What are you doing?"
The corpse replied, "IDK."
17:42 UTC
Sometimes I watch Married With Children after playing Skyrim
I just want to know how's Alduin.
23:48 UTC
Help!!
It’s my boyfriend’s birthday and I’m writing his card and I need a rlly good Skyrim joke to put in it. (I’ve never played)
Pls!! :))
15:25 UTC
What did the lusty argonian maid say when she met Clavicus Vile?
Is that a boon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
17:55 UTC
The giants really need to start their own airline.
They'd make a killing!
06:00 UTC
What happens when you die in Sovngarde?
Eightgarde
22:31 UTC
Why did the Jarl of Hjaalmarch become a vampire?
She wanted to be immorthal.
10:51 UTC
What do you call an elven Dark Brotherhood member?
Murdermer.
07:25 UTC
What did the Lusty Argonian maid say to her client after working a side gig as a guard?
Never should have cum here!
06:00 UTC
What does Harkon use to get around Skyrim?
A Volkicar
06:13 UTC
What does a nord put on his door during Christmas?
A falk-wreath
05:52 UTC
Why did an introvert move to Haafingar?
To live in Solitude.
20:41 UTC
What's the weather like on Solstheim?
Yesterday hail, today rain, to Morrowind.
19:10 UTC
Overheard at the Temple of Kynareth
Random NPC: Help me, Danica Pure Spring! I was bitten by a wolf!
Danica Pure Spring: Oh no! Where?
Random NPC: No, regular wolf.
20:10 UTC
April 15th Joke
Only two things are certain in Skyrim.
...
...
...
Death and Ataxia.
13:42 UTC
Why did the ice mage call off their wedding?
They had cold feet!
18:25 UTC
The Greybeards spend years learning Unrelenting Force.
It must be very fus-trating as it's a tough ro dah hoe.
05:22 UTC
What do you call a Nord with a dragon on his head?
A priest of Arkay.
18:38 UTC
What did mages start calling Arniel Gane after he disappeared?
Arniel Gone.
18:33 UTC
What do you call two mages living together?
Rune-mates!
04:07 UTC