/r/skyrimdadjokes
Terrible and sometimes hilariously weak humor about, or referencing TESV: Skyrim.
Huzzah! /r/skyrimdadjokes!
Submission Rules
Keep it Skyrim related.
Don't put the punchline in the title!
Make it absolutely groan-worthy!
Comment Rules
Don't harass other users.
No false reporting. (3 Day Ban)
No "trolling"
The mod team will remove stuff at our discretion.
Spoilers added! [](#s "spoiler text goes here")
/r/skyrimdadjokes
28,357 Subscribers
What does Harkon use to get around Skyrim?
A Volkicar
06:13 UTC
What does a nord put on his door during Christmas?
A falk-wreath
05:52 UTC
Why did an introvert move to Haafingar?
To live in Solitude.
20:41 UTC
What's the weather like on Solstheim?
Yesterday hail, today rain, to Morrowind.
19:10 UTC
Overheard at the Temple of Kynareth
Random NPC: Help me, Danica Pure Spring! I was bitten by a wolf!
Danica Pure Spring: Oh no! Where?
Random NPC: No, regular wolf.
20:10 UTC
April 15th Joke
Only two things are certain in Skyrim.
...
...
...
Death and Ataxia.
13:42 UTC
Why did the ice mage call off their wedding?
They had cold feet!
18:25 UTC
The Greybeards spend years learning Unrelenting Force.
It must be very fus-trating as it's a tough ro dah hoe.
05:22 UTC
What do you call a Nord with a dragon on his head?
A priest of Arkay.
18:38 UTC
What did mages start calling Arniel Gane after he disappeared?
Arniel Gone.
18:33 UTC
What do you call two mages living together?
Rune-mates!
04:07 UTC
What did the skeleton say to another skeleton right before attacking the Dragonborn?
"You set?"
23:39 UTC
Why did Goldenglow Estate stop transporting bees in cans?
!Because Meridia kept interrupting them every time a new person touched the 'Bee Can'.!<
16:54 UTC
New here. Not sure if this one has been posted. What does the Dragonborn use for a toothache?
Dovah-caine
13:56 UTC
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Part 16 PC (What is your thought about the ...
09:37 UTC
After telling the LDB that they needed to see the Greybeards, Jarl Balgruuf showed them a model of the Throat of the World. The LDB said, "Is this to scale?" Jarl Balgruuf replied, ...
"No, it's to look at."
17:57 UTC
What do you call a crossbow enchanted with Paralyze and Soul Trap when you have the Power Shot perk?
"Stop, Drop and Soul"
(Stolen from a post on r/skyrim)
20:30 UTC
What's the Volkihar's favorite Christmas carol?
Harkon the herald angels sing
22:36 UTC
Where do you take your footwear for repair in Skyrim?
The Sole Cairn.
14:00 UTC
What do the Honorhall Orphans have in common with Falmer children?
None of them can see their parents.
13:37 UTC
I weighed the rainbow Coloured Rooms of Meridia.
It's pretty light.
21:37 UTC
You hear about the werewolf that is addicted to Youtube?
He changed his name to Lycan Subscribe
18:28 UTC
Why are some elves deeper underground than others?
!Because they Falmer.!<
00:35 UTC
What does the Dragonborn store his files on?
!A Thu'um drive.!<
13:47 UTC
Why did the adventurer bring the Arcadia a book ontrolls?
They thought she said she wanted troll facts.
18:09 UTC
Dwemer pita sandwich?
Dwarven Gyro!
16:05 UTC
What did the guard say to the Dremora thief?
"I've caught you red-handed!"
16:04 UTC
How do Falmer says goodbye to their friends?
Smell you later!
15:28 UTC
What is Ralof's favorite clothing store?
Nordstrom
14:33 UTC
Roggi shaved.
Now he's Roggi Not-Beard.
17:00 UTC