I am starting to realize I may have a shopping addiction, even though buying mountains of stuff goes against what I believe in. For context, and what I think has contributed, is that I just came out of a sabbatical/job search that lasted about a year, living off (draining) all my savings. In my current job, I make almost double what I made before (I was grossly underpaid) -- with inflation, it's enough to live decently but not extravagantly. I bought maybe 3 pieces of new clothing (and a lot of vintage) this year. Nonetheless, I'm living above my means, even after my "congrats on the new job you deserve this" phase passed.

Today's failure/example: I went into the pharmacy for contact lenses and that's it. Gave myself a little pep talk to stick to the plan going in. Came out with 2 packs of condoms (I'm not even having sex right now), 4 packs of toothpicks (sale), a comb (I have 3 brushes at home), tanning drops (I HAVE OLIVE SKIN), and contact lenses. Also, I cannot leave an airport without (extra, destination-specific food) gifts for everyone with a birthday in the next 4 months.

I'm pretty disciplined in other areas of my life, so I don't know why it's going wrong. I also ordered takeout twice this week (it's Wednesday) because working late + no time/energy to cook AND stay on top of household chores. This is all very confusing because I consider myself a frugal/sensible person even though the evidence clearly points to the opposite. I'm okay with not spending on big items (rebuilding savings), but the small shops and excessive treat buying get me. It's a mental struggle every time I have to talk myself out of spending money.

I don't know where to start in stopping this.

I cured my shopping addiction. It was never really that bad, I never maxed out credit cards or ran short of money. But I did start having an issue with online shopping during the pandemic that got worse over the ensuing years. At it's peak, I was buying something every day, from Amazon junk, to Target decor, to Lululemon We Made Too Much sale items, etc.

Do you want to know what cured it? My husband was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinsons. Sadly, that just completely shut it off. I don't want anything anymore. It really hit home that I'm middle aged now, and it brought into focus the fact that our time is short and getting shorter. When I die, I don't want to be surrounded by a mountain of junk that my kids will have to sort through and get rid of. The perfect shade of lipstick, sports bra, or holiday tea towel will not improve my life in any meaningful way.

We have limited resources and limited time on this planet. Go see your grandma, take your best friend out to dinner, call your lonely aunt or uncle whom you haven't seen in awhile, plan a trip with your significant other, play a game with your kid, snuggle with your dog or cat. None of the garbage available to buy today will matter to you in 20 years. Don't be the king/queen of a kingdom of junk, be someone who mattered to others and squeezed everything you could have out of this life.

I leave on Friday and I don't have time to order anything or go shopping! Usually I start thinking I need something new, HAVE TO have a specific dress because of the color, the print, the fit, etc. But guys I literally have dozens of dresses that I never wear. So when I pack tomorrow, I am going to shop my own closet, and I am so excited! This is the first time in a while that I have not bought a new dress specifically in advance of a trip!

Hi, sorry I'm more of a lurker so if I'm just not finding a post about it please let me know.

Does this sub do the no/low buy November annually as a group?

I'm really bored but I'm not tempted to shop. I really want to throw some of my stuff out. My spare room is so full I can barely walk thru it. I have so much just in case stuff. I like that rule that if it can be replaced for $20 in less than 20 minutes, don't save it but I live in the country. It's a 40 minute drive to the hardware store or walmart and I don't drive so I'd have to get a ride from someone. My basement is full too. Not just from my stuff but my family stores their seasonal items in my basement too. I'd love to have the main house clutter gone by winter. I'm thinking of putting a bunch of stuff on craigslist. It would give me something to do when I have free time and I might make some money to add to my emergency fund. I like the idea of a clutter free home but going thru all that stuff is daunting.

Hi there - so I’m a recovering addict , 2 months sober from drugs / alcohol. I’ve always struggled with addiction - when I try to get sober from substances , my shopping addiction heightens to receive the dopamine boost - does anyone else experience a huge hit of dopamine from shopping? Even though you know you shouldn’t - it’s just an intense happiness , then regret later on because of financial issues. Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to combat this?

New here. I’m going through a bout of depression, and about a week ago dived deep into the geeky world of sourdough baking… which turned into mania and out of control spending. I have probably spent $600-$700? I don’t make a lot of money, either. I have some savings so this is not catastrophic yet, but the reality is, I barely make enough to live on and I am a single mother to a four-year-old.

I’m also barely sleeping… not sure what to do. Maybe look for a psych?

Need accountability if this group provides that…

Note I have had some issues with spending in the past, but overall at least in the past decade I’ve been pretty good. Definitely have obsessive compulsive tendencies.

I have had a bad shopping addiction for about three years now and I’ve finally realized what an issue it’s become. I was wondering if anyone has any tips that stop them from the needless spending for the little adrenaline rush that comes with it. Also, if it makes any difference to the situation, I’m autistic and I’ve become so addicted to that adrenaline rush that I basically rely on it. Does anyone else know any way to get that adrenaline rush without the spending?

My birthday was recently so I decided to go to Target last weekend and treat myself to a ps5. I ended up spending like another $200 buying games for it. Then I went on amazon and bought a few things this week after not having bought anything off amazon for like two weeks. I have four packages coming in from amazon this week (one of them was some basketball shoes that I got because I want to go out and play some basketball this weekend). I also bought a few cd's.

I just gotta find a way to stay my ass out of any stores this weekend. It will be tough because I get paid friday but rent is due. That going to target last friday just got me binge shopping, shoudlnt have walked in there at all.

I have a problem and don’t know how to stop.

I’m a stay at home mom who lives in the middle of nowhere. My family is an hour away and I have no friends where I live. The closest town is an hour away so let’s just say I’m bored.

My credit card is maxed out and has been for 2-3 years now. Every month I pay the $35 minimum on it and end up spending that back up To the $500 limit every month.

I owe klarna and afterpay lots of money from 2-3 years ago. I have balances on credit cards that went to collections years ago that I haven’t paid off.

Every single day I get so bored so I leave the house and go to the thrift store and get stuff that I just don’t need. I’m constantly scrolling on shopping apps and adding things to lists, or sending items to my grandma to buy for my son, or making Christmas lists.

I make lists on lists detailed for grocery orders or Christmas shopping etc.

It’s like it’s all I can focus on is when can I buy this or how long until my husband gets paid.

I’d say on average, I’m spending about $200-$400 every 2 weeks on stuff I don’t need just want. Clothing at thrift stores, household decor, Christmas decor.

Everytime I delete the apps, I redownload them the next day and it repeats itself. I have to buy Christmas presents yet and I’m having a hard time being realistic and not overbuying.

Where do I even start?

I have celebrated Christmas with my partner's family for the past several years. They ask for wish lists from everyone and then buy a few things off the list per person.

In past years, I have created elaborate lists with links and LOTS of items on my list, many of which were clothing or accessories, most of which I don't have anymore. I feel guilty because my partner's family bought these things for me but I realized I didn't really like the items once I had them.

Well, here's a win!! This year I only have a few things on my wish list, some of which are non-specific, and/or experiential gifts! For my birthday one year, my partner's family gifted us a trip to the zoo and I enjoyed that more than any accessory they've ever gotten for me.

I feel like this is substantial progress and wanted to share. I know the holidays can be really triggering for many (me included) so I want to check in and see how y'all are feeling, how you're handling the holidays and the desire to shop and/or acquire items.

I’ve struggled with impulse purchases and a part of it if constantly looking for items, not finding them, then going out to my local dollar store and purchasing it.

I’ve implemented methods of keeping everything organized, but I still struggle with impulse buying. So, my next strategy is to implement a list of all the items I have in my bathroom and vanity, that I know I’ll unnecessarily buy.

Here’s how I’ve set it up: Shampoo x4 Conditioner x4 Hair Masks x3 Body Wash x2 Soap x5 Razor Packs x2 Mouthwash x3 Face Creams x4 Serums x2

This is a very shortened version of it. I write the names of each product and what their specific use is for, (I’m also trying to implement the cost of the product too), and I also post a review on whether I liked the product or not, whether it broke it me or gave me a reaction.

By doing this, I’ve significantly reduced the amount of skincare and other beauty products I buy because I’ve narrowed down the products that work for me and dissuades me from making anymore purchases. Making lists like this is also time consuming so it keeps me distracted from making purchases as well.

Something that has helped me a lot with wanting lots of new stuff has been really taking stock of things that I've bought, and which ones actually made my life better vs. just ended up being more stuff to organize, clean, manage, etc. Here's my list, post yours so we can compare!

Things that have actually made my life better: Nice mattress, sheets, pillows

Comfortable, cute underwear

Pj's I love (2 onesies and 2 pants)

Wire shelves for our bathroom (we both have adhd so visual organizing is very important)

A shelf for our entry that works perfect for our needs

Nice refurbished laptop

Natural, small business hair and skin care that works really well for my body (and is plastic free! That's important to me!)

My strawberry shorts, I'm obsessed with them

A functional bag that fits everything I need

A nice heating pad

Gazebo and comfy outdoor chairs

Tiny greenhouse for starting plants

Records (we inherited a record player)

Things that have not enriched my life, and in fact have made my life harder bc I have more crap to deal with:

Literally most of the clothes I've ever bought

Most of my decor (especially "decorative objects". Now I have to find places for them and storage for them and keep them clean???)

Most new body products I've tried. I know what I like and I stick with it now.

Most of my random crafting stuff that I haven't used in 5+ years

Candles I bought online and didn't like

Stuffies and toys (I have a few faves and the rest are just clutter)

Throw pillows (why are they so appealing?)

Almost everything else! Why have I bought so much fucking crap????

(edited to not be wall of text)

I’ve been managing not too bad recently. My therapist suggested to me that it’s not so much about the actual purchase and dopamine high, he said that some people just use the motion of going through racks as a soothing mechanism. I would never have thought anything about this, just I know I switch off to a certain degree. I enjoy being in the store but if I’ve bought something, I get sad and hate myself. Anyone relate?

Hiya, so I have issues with impulse buying and am very dopamine seeking (yay adhd). I want to give myself pocket money essentially so I don't have access to the bulk of my money Does anyone have any advice on cards like monzo (I'm UK based) to have a card that I can spend money from but it not my bank card? Hope that makes sense Basically I don't want access to my money cause otherwise I spend it all

Holiday is pretty much here… What’s on the list?

Please use this thread to discuss recent wins, things you've been struggling with lately, something that you've been trying lately that's helped you, or anything you'd like to share with the community that doesn't warrant a full post.

If you have more than 200 words in your comment, you may want to consider creating a separate thread.

As always, thanks for sharing and we're here for you!

I am in the process of moving to another state. Because of that, I am sorting through everything to see what I want to keep [and store], want I want to pack, and what I want to sell. It has really shocked me just how many pieces of clothing I bought that I was absolutely obsessed with, and then did not wear a single time! and I feel dumb because even the items that I've never worn i struggle to get rid of because "what if I NEED it later" or "i spent so much on this i cant just sell it without wearing it ever"

I feel like an lot of advice I see [generally when it comes to managing money, or impulsive spending] don't work for people with any shopping addiction. For example I've seen many people suggest that you ask yourself questions like "can I see myself wearing this" and "how many times will i use this" but when you have a shopping addiction many people buy items for their ideal self. it's also pretty common for a specific item to take over somebodys thoughts and then they buy it maybe not because they like the item but just because they don't want their brain to nag them about the item anymore. it's exhausting!

anybody know of places with good advice for shopping addiction?

I haven't mindlessly shopped or scrolled for 4 weeks. I don't have as much free time anymore so that helps a lot. I use the free time I do have to reread financial wellness books. One book, How To Manage Your Money When You Don't Have Any by Erik Wecks has this about shopping:

"Every time a for profit company interacts with you, their need for profit is their top priority. How could it be otherwise? Their survival depends upon it. They may sincerely believe customer satisfaction and quality products are important, but only as long as they help keep the company profitable.

I am not trying to keep you from shopping at your local supermarket or car dealer. I want you to patronize local businesses in your community. I am trying to remind you no seller cares about your financial well-being as much as you do. They care most about their own existence, and their continued existence depends upon taking money away from you. For business, every interaction with you is a deadly-serious struggle for your money all dressed up with a friendly smile and a thank you. How seriously do you take it?"

I'm an apartment dweller and find myself in Home Depot buying stuff for my apartment like light bulbs or caulking for projects that I want to start but never get completed. Anyone else have a similar problem

I was so tempted to download my shopping apps again bc I felt I can have them without shopping plus I have points and rewards cash I’d like to use to save on some shopping trips. I was close BUT I thought no I’m not gonna bc I’ll be saving a lot more if I don’t shop. Also if I have them I’ll be tempted to just browse to see what I see vs shooing with intention of getting something I truly need and then check out and be out. I was so tempted tho. 😮‍💨 anyone feel like this? What do you do?

I'm seeking encouragement as I am facing my first really big temptation since openly admitting I have a problem.

I would often use thrifting as a loophole to justify my spending. I would tell myself I'm saving money with these deals and that I could be spending so much more. Plus there is a rush in finding a really good deal.

Tomorrow a thrift store that is high quality and has high-end clothes is doing a $25 fill a bag sale. This is exactly the type of shopping that I've always been able to just justify and it is so so tempting.

I literally can't take my mind off of it it's making it hard to wind down at the end of the day and go to bed and it's making me so anxious the idea of missing the sale.

Any advice to calm the anxiety and White Knuckle through this?

I have a myriad of general coping mechanisms (breathing strategies, fidget toys), but I was wondering if anyone has a coping mechanism for the specific feeling of WANTING SOMETHING, especially something novel. Easier coping mechanisms are preferred—I know you can get the same feeling from doing art, but sometimes it’s hard to Create something which feels good when you’re in a really bad mental state.

I have this annoying habit of buying special clothes, specially really expensive ones that I will supposedly wear at weddings, parties and what not. BUT I never wear them.

My train got cancelled for the wedding I bought a super nice dress for, my work trip next week also got cancelled and I I'm not even sure how long I'll be working at that company.

I hate planning ahead and buying expensive stuff for special occasions that will just change or not happen at all.

I have to learn to just wear the clothes I already have and not be waiting around for that special occasion to happen.

Anyone relates to this ?

I'm just wondering if anyone else feels like this. When I shop, it's for a 'dream' or 'future' version of myself. Who is thinner, cooler, and has her life together. I have tons of beautiful outfits but I never feel confident enough to wear them. When I click 'add to cart' I can picture the cooler version of myself wearing it, and it's like I'm trying to trick myself into believing that I can be her. Now that I'm explaining this, I can feel the tears coming. Obviously there are some deep issues here, I've been compulsively shopping since I was a teenager and most of the clothing gets jammed in storage bins or donated. Has anyone else had these feelings?

I know it stems from anxiety like OH GOD I KNOW I HAVE NO MONEY LEFT. I literally just got paid and I paid off my bills and I thought I had so much more and I check this morning and it's barely anything. I did the envelope sytem for my last check and honestly, I should have done that for this one. Any advice?

This is something i’ve thought about so much. I’m extremely impulsive (diagnosed adhd doesn’t help), and over all I feel like i’m addicted to the high of buying and unboxing things. I look forward to opening my next package more than anything else.

Today I sat down and calculated all my debt. I never thought it was this high. I am 8,139.78 in debt from credit cards and split payments alone. My debt is 25,701.95 including my car and my student loans. I’m 24 and I feel like I should be saving for my future, living on my own, and living my best life. Instead I live with my parents and watch my friends talk about how they moved out, how much they have in savings and just generally have large life events I miss out on being in debt. I have an okay job but I’m living paycheck to paycheck with this addiction. I’ve been so scared to admit it. I always just said I had expensive hobbies (cosplay, alt fashion, figures/dolls) and it was my justification since everyone has debt. Thats not true.

Im in therapy but i’m terrified to tell my therapist in fear of judgement. Its silly I know since she is there to help me and I literally love my therapist so much. Its just a big step to admit openly to it. So far i’ve only talked to one friend who shares the same issues as me and says they might also be an addict. Its nice taking comfort in knowing we both struggle but I know we both encourage it in each other as well.

I’m just struggling. I want to be debt free. I want to move out. I want to experience the joy of life rather than the joy of materialistic goods.

I’m ready but i’m terrified. I would love some advice, words of encouragement or general kindness from people who have already started their journeys. I’m hoping I didn’t mess up my life too bad so early in it.

Hi everyone,

I have a buying and returns addiction, I constantly have parcels coming into my home and by the next day they're being collected by various postal services. I maybe keep 10% of the items, at the most. It's noticeable and the miserable postal clerk comments on it.

It's a real issue as it is a never ending cycle and I never feel like it's a financial hit as I only keep a small amount. You could call my home the "dressing room". Instead of going into store, I'll try on multiple sizes of the same item, different variations of the same thing and colours and then make a decision. That's my justification, the dressing room. However I'm do admit the sprees do span from a perfectionist mindset and are at their worst often during stressful periods, it's a distraction for me.

I've been trying to tether off this addiction, as not only is it bad for the environment but it is also not the best use of my time. I need to accept "being" and being still with my items as they currently are, without constantly wanting to perfect or curate.

Since trying to shift this mindset, I'm still buying but I'm much more mindful of the quantity of items coming in, and the quality.

Parcels have now gone from 20 items in an order to 5, but once I discover an item I now seem to want to buy a "back up" of it - in fear that it may eventually shrink in the wash or bobble or I just may never be able to buy it again and I may love it.

I guess my thoughts are also that if I have the same "uniform" and plenty of back ups for it it'll stop me from wanting to buy more and stop the shopping addiction sprees from happening..

On the other hand, my taste very well could change in 3/4/5 years once an item is worn out and whilst this may be a "solution" its not tackling the true issue of why I feel the need to buy 20 million items and have massive online shopping sprees and why I can't accept things as they are.

Also, is buying a back up part of the problem aswell? Has it got to the point that I have a fear of not having enough?

I paid off an 8,000 card

About 2 years ago I paid off all my cards. I thought I had it all under control and was living within my means.

My company offers an espp program where we can purchase stock at a discount. I began contributing to this aggressively to take advantage of the benefits. What hit me hard was how much it affected my take home pay.

I had money built up in my checking and no balance on cards. I felt like I could splurge a little every now and then. But, my little addictive brain turns one splurge into 5. Not adjusting immediately to my new paycheck, I quickly ran through my available cash.

Fast forward 1 year later…8,000 on one card. 5,000 on another. How did I get here?

After I saw these balances, I had some really hard conversations with myself. Thinking about the purchases I made…nothing ever worked out quite like the vision in my head. I cut myself off from new purchases simply because I was now living paycheck to paycheck struggling to make the minimum payments on my cards (as well as my Klarna’s and Afterpay).

My first real victory. We went on a trip. Typically this is a trigger for shopping for me. Buying new outfits for the vacation that never turn out the way I hope in reality. Instead, I packed all the things I already own. And, everything turned out okay.

The one thing that has saved me is that pesky little espp contribution. I miscalculated how much I could put in and got a refund of almost 8,000. And now for the rest of the year my pay will return to normal. I was also able to get quite a bit of money in my brokerage account.

I’ve learned a lot this year about what it really means to break the addiction. Taking the money out of my checking account is probably the only way I could learn not to overspend and buy things I don’t really need. But, it was a long tough lesson. I spent so much time stressing about the debt I had created.

When I got the refund, it felt really good to erase those mistakes I’ve made. But also bittersweet. I kept thinking that if I had not racked up that debt I’d have so much extra money to save or put toward more useful things rather than purses, shoes and other garbage.

I don’t think I’m cured. But I’m at least scared straight for a while. I’m focusing on being mindful of my triggers every day.

I recently move to a new apartment. Actual apartment with storage space and stuff after sharing a space with others for so long.

I found myself obsessed with buying things to fulfil a particular 'vision' about my life living in the apartment. It's definitely not the proudest moment in my life. I spent hours researching and combing through apartment living posts/videos.

When I actually live in the apartment, I found that most of the things I bought wasn't needed or even fitting to the space. Now I ended up with a bunch of things I don't need. And no, I didn't actually have time drinking coffee in the morning by the balcony sitting on that rattan chair.

The lesson I learn this time? I don't 'create a lifestyle' with things bought. My lifestyle is actually created by living my life as it is. It's slowly formed from solving/adding/removing things in my day to day life. Not formed by this imagination I have in my mind or the inspiration I get from reels and ads.