There’s a lot that I’ve learned about myself and the human psyche throughout my journey with healing shopping addiction. One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed is the way I purchase things. I used to buy a shit ton of meaningless, in the moment shit. Things that would end up making so much clutter (which was also a representation for the clutter in my mind and heart). But now everything is about intentionality— to just focus on ONE thing at a time.

This Black Friday I bought a throw pillow for the living room but this throw pillow wasn’t any random pick. It’s a color and pattern that symbolizes a version of myself I am learning to embrace with courage. It’s a marigold yellow with tigers all over it—both to remind me to keep going with boldness.

Healing the shopping addiction was one that took years of hard focus that led me to re-experience all of the unprocessed pain from childhood. It was definitely fucking challenging AF but also one of the most rewarding experiences. It’s been 5 years and still WIP. Shopping addiction isn’t one we can clearly say “I’ve been sober for x years” bc buying is part of our day-to-day in our human experience. As we all know, unless u decide to become a monk, we are enticed everywhere we go. ITS SO HARD.

And every time we are hit with the feeling of how difficult it feels, it’s a reminder to reach even deeper within ourselves to KEEP GOING. That all of the small efforts count - they seriously do. If the healed version of yourself is pointing north but our path living with shopping addiction is pointing south, just visualize the tiniest effort bringing u closer by 5 degrees. As u keep making mistakes only to learn from it and make different choices the next time, u move another 5 degrees. All of the small things compound and now u are closer than ever to pointing north and through the process you fall in love w yourself, feel more confidence and steady.

Just felt like sharing today bc it is a New Moon and it’s all about experiencing shifts in our own individual journeys.

xx

I did not buy anything I didn’t need. I almost did!!! But I stopped myself because I knew I just wanted stuff because it was “on sale”. I actually used BF to do Christmas shopping for others and didn’t go overboard. I stuck to the list and Im excited to give thoughtful gifts to my loved ones, and grateful I controlled my urges. It feels good to know I don’t have a bunch of pending charges on my card to worry about or trying to squeeze more stuff in my closet.

I ordered from yesstyle three weeks ago (9/11/2024) and my package shipped on the 22nd. It’s now 1st of december and my country’s post department hasn’t received it yet (Finland). How long do the packages take to arrive, or will they ever?

I'm not sure how it works but I feel overcome by debt. I just want to be able to start saving again. I owe multiple creditors and the IRS. It all amounts to about 30 grand. I get paid around 40,000 a year and live in CA. There is no way I can pay off this debt. I just want to be able to start again.

How did you guys do? I’m leaving this month without buying any Black Friday deals. I bought one thing from Amazon which was some leg warmers. I went to Target and I only bought what I needed which was a black jacket. I didn’t have any jackets/coats and it’s getting cold. So that was a need. It was only $10. I’m proud of myself I walked into target and only got what I needed and left with the black jacket. (I wanted some snacks and more boots).

There’s a plaza full of stores such as Target, Ross, Jc penny, Kroger, Five below and Tj maxx. I didn’t go to any of them 😩 I wanted to go so bad!! But I only went to Target and left with the one thing on my list. I want to continue this next month and I’m planning on selling some items. I really need my credit card payments total to be under $500.

Hi! I’m new to this group and trying to get over my long running shopping addiction.

I did some reading over of the group discussions and noticed that, in many instances, they are related to luxury brands or larger businesses. Although I am also hostage to the Black Friday deals going on right now, my day to day issue arises from “bargain” finds or second hand fashion- which, usually, goes hand in hand.

For the former, I feel as though it is such a good deal that my brain somehow tells me I will NEVER be able to buy that item for that price again so I MUST buy it then and there (despite probably never having thought of that item before).

For the latter, similarly, because it is pre loved (and usually at a better price), I think that the item is so entirely unique and one of a kind that I must have it.

Whilst I like my fashion/ wardrobe pieces being somewhat different, this is my day to day fixation which prevails irrespective of and in addition to any seasonal promotions going on.

Does anyone else fixate on these areas when it comes to their shopping addiction? And what do you do to stop it?

I love places like eBay and also want to sell my pieces given I am overflowing with items but as a result, I remain exposed.

My main problem with shopping addiction isn't finding the "why" or the initial stopping. My main problem is when I need essentials and make a purchase, then I start getting it in my head that other items that are more ambiguous are "essentials" and then wish list items that I've wanted for months start to make their way on there because I've wanted them for so long, and as you know, this causes a spiral.

My recent example: I did quite well for the first 10-15 days of no-buy November, then I bought dog food and my dog's prescriptions, then I learned about the tariffs and bought some replacement makeup (and a few non-essentials), then this crept up to body wash, hair products, feminine products all in bulk to avoid tariffs, then tights from Snag because it's getting cold, then clothes because they have been on the wish list and they are in UK so I better get them before tariffs. This is the cycle with me. How do I switch this snowballing and turn this around? I am making progress on my debt, but not as much as I could. Any advice for things you do to get out of this chain of events if you have a similar struggle?

More of just a "talking it through/can anyone relate?/here's a cautionary tale" sort of post. I *think* I can make it through without fully relapsing.

My shopping addiction wakeup call was Black Friday 2022. I've worked so hard since then: got a new diagnosis (ADHD, which turned out to be closely related to my shopping problem), got medicated, paid off my credit card debt, deleted BNPL apps and never used them again, found new and healthier outlets other than shopping, and thought it was all in the past. I was nervous about Black Friday 2023 but made it through without any issue.

This year, I had a double whammy of family issues and election-related grief this month. Watching handbag influencers' videos and reading about different brands became a constant escape. It was the first thing I was able to focus on that wasn't politics, so I dove in and kept going, telling myself it was okay because I was just learning and enjoying a nice distraction, and not actually buying anything. My whole IG and YT feeds quickly turned into handbags and ads ... and then the Black Friday sales appeared. I ordered one bag, started to buy another but was luckily stopped by exorbitant overseas shipping charges, and then started obsessing over another. This where I gotta tell myself STOP.

Honestly, buying the one bag was probably okay. I have the budget for it. The purchase was thoroughly researched. I'll use it every day (unless I wind up not liking it, in which case I will make sure to return it!). I just need to find a new hyperfixation fast, because I don't trust myself to get back to the "just having fun learning all about fancy handbags" mode I was in before.

I’d like to share my story. A year ago, I suddenly realized that I had a shopping addiction. I would often order all sorts of things online, only to realize after they were delivered that I didn’t need them. After purchasing an expensive handbag, I suddenly felt so guilty that I decided to “pay back” the cost of the bag to my savings account each month. I strictly followed this plan and, over time, created a detailed overview in Excel to see the bigger picture. This helped me analyze where I could cut back and contribute more to my savings.

I came to the realization that spending money is much easier than saving it. I love luxury, but with the little savings I had left, I didn’t want to spend on expensive items anymore. So, two months ago, I decided to take on a side job. It’s been challenging, but each month it provides me with a nice little extra. My side job doesn’t pay a lot—it’s a bar job, and the work is tough. But now I truly understand the value of money.

I’m 42 years old, and I’ve learned that I can no longer spend my hard-earned money aimlessly on unnecessary things.

Can you discuss if black friday sale in newme worth it or not ?

I love christmas so much, it’s my favorite time of year, I literally wait all year for the holidays to arrive…

After being on TikTok I was fully convinced I needed to buy christmas themed throw pillows for my bed since people on TikTok make their whole room christmas themed.

As I was browsing online I realized that searching for throw pillows just stressed me out and I don’t even like to have hundreds of pillows on my bed and also, that a lot of the ones I liked were pretty expensive. It was almost like a chore to look for them.

Now I bought a cheap christmas bow for my window and will get a cute reusable Christmas themed coffee cup because this brings me a little joy everyday and my old one is very well used already and needs to be replaced anyway.

My room will not look like the ones influencers have because it’s their job to make their home aesthetic and they make money doing so. It’s not my job so I don’t have to be this good at it. I’m working hard in college, that’s my job ❤️‍🩹

If you love Christmas my advice would be to get one thing which will bring you joy in daily life🎄

I wish now that I hadn't spent my prudent reserve in october. It was on important stuff but now I'll have to dip into my real emergency fund to fix the furnace. Hopefully it can be fixed. It's just more proof that I need to stop buying stuff and save for emergencies.

I started a no buy and broke it during this sale! I feel awful now. My weakness is clothes, and I decluttered a big bunch, I had a specific number of clothes that I wanted to have at any time. I stuck to it for 4 to 5 months. Then I bought 4 new dresses in this sale. I wanted to buy one to replace a faded dress. Had fomo and bought 4. I'm surprised by the amount of convincing I do to myself before buying and regret it immediately after. I want to go anticonsumption, but it is so hard! It's starting my no buy again, and I will try not to buy any new clothes till next Thanksgiving. I'm looking for ideas to change my mindset and find new hobbies when I'm bored. I think that will make a big difference 🤞

Small win: I also love skincare and successfully managed not to buy anything new this sale. I captured all my skincare inventory in notes app on my phone. Whenever I was interested in new beauty product, I looked at the notes and convinced that I don't need another product to be added to my list.

Does anyone also shoplift too to get that dopamine hit? And if anyone did in the past but not anymore, how did you stop?

Hi so, im feeling really guilty right now! I have spent close to £1000 over the past month on sales for black friday… and thats just this month!

I keep trying to justify it as some things i needed and got a good deal, and some things i really wanted and have for a while, but seeing the total has made my stomach churn.

Im a big spender, i seem to always be shopping and honestly dont know how to stop? The amount of money i have wasted over the past year is ridiculous! Has anyone got any advice on how to stop shopping?

(Im not in any debt which i think is making it harder to stop)

I do it like it is a hobby. Sometimes I would rather just stay home, but on the weekends, I tell myself , "let's get out of the house for some fresh air" so then I will go to best buy/target/walmart/some shoe or clothing store and look around, but almost every time I go out I end up spending money, sometimes too much money. My rent takes up almost 1 whole paycheck (then several bills come out of the other paycheck) so I don't have room to splurge.

Sometimes I go to the park or gym after shopping too, so I am running out of things I can do which will make me feel good or release as much dopamine as shopping.

Also, I have a problem with online shopping. I have amazon prime because it seems like there is always something I "need" from amazon. I cancelled it recently but renewed it again 2 days ago so I could save on shipping costs on things I ordered. I have had 80 amazon orders in the past year, which is alot, right?

I almost need to get a second job for as much spending as I do (I don't want to do that though for several reasons). I hate my full time job with a passion and don't make much money (right around 39-40k a year) so shopping is like an escape for me. I also have a habit of collecting games/dvd/bluray even though I won't get to them right away.

Tell me to stop this behavior

My biggest shopping impulse is the grocery store. I always end up finding stuff I just happen to have forgot or think I need or new products I think my husband and kids would like. I'm trying to find a way to avoid overspending at them. Has anyone had luck with doing just pickup orders or any tips for this sorta thing?

Paycheck breakdown 😭

Started with 699.91

Paid 434.81 toward credit card (only owe 500 now though) Spent 67.78 on a cat tree and budget binder (is this irony) Spent 41.93 on a lululemon sports bra Repaid 33 to a friend Spent 49.86 on a new cat fountain and food mat (in the process of returning old fountain so I’ll get like 53 after its returned)

And the rest (72.71) shall be spent on gas, cat food, and litter when I end up running out. Black Friday won today I fear.

I've been doing pretty well with curbing my shopping! Perfume, jewelry and sometimes clothes and shoes are my triggers. I'm working really hard on cutting back on grubhub/doordash too!

A perfume brand I love released holiday events. While I'd really love some of them, I'm waiting - they'll be up for a while! I'm not getting caught up in the "omg new release" energy. I'll wait for reviews and take the time to decide what I really want a full bottle of vs decants.

I've gained a bit of weight this past year and I'm debating on what to do about my wardrobe. Brands I like are having sales but I'm really trying to prioritize killing off my credit card debt. I came so close to buying one dress that was on sale..... but then my cat threw up, so nope, saving that money for the vet.

I ordered yarn a while ago - planned for, budgeted - and need a certain knitting needle for the project. Nope, holding off - I'm working on a project already! I'll need more yarn for THAT project..... no, finish what you have first.

I want pretty glass spirals for my ears! But my ears aren't at the goal gauge, so I'm not going to spend that money now.

I feel really proud of myself!

How are you all handling Black Friday? Shopping? No shopping? So many mixed messages on instagram some saying go ahead and buy others saying buy intentionally only what you need.

Hello!

I can't get these glass pens out of my mind, but they are 300 for both of them. Please give me reasons not to buy them. I need to save money and I keep wanting to use installments for them.

I’ve shopped a lot of sales this week. Not all of them were frivolous, I restocked several skincare and haircare items I’ve been using for years, vitamins, etc. But some things were things I didn’t REALLY need but had been on my wishlist and were on sale. Or thrifted sweaters or bags. Or an impulse pair of shoes. Needless to say, it all added up pretty fast and there’s still Christmas shopping for others and travel around the corner.

I noticed that I feel like my chest is tight and I feel ashamed after my last purchase today. I want shopping to feel like a special, deliberate, non-anxiety-inducing pleasure. Not like a tense, out of control feeling as I look around my already too messy room overflowing with stuff.

I seriously need to shape it up next year in so many ways. I’m not in debt but I just don’t want to feel like this anymore, and I know I’m spending above my means. Just putting it here to hold myself accountable and for anyone else who can relate today. I deserve better than this, I deserve peace and to keep my wealth vs giving it all to companies.

I’ve been in recovery from my addiction for a few years now, and it’s always a struggle for me to get rid of the items I bought in the throws of the addiction.

I live in a small room at my parents house and the cramped nature of it makes my depression worse, so I am trying to revamp the room and part of that is cutting down on clutter.

However, I’m finding it hard to throw things away I know are just taking up space. I want to store them away for later but I feel like that’s just moving the clutter around.

I don’t want to throw them away because it feels like wasting money when I’m already in a financially precarious spot. It’s bring up negative emotions and I feel stuck in my situation.

Does anyone have advice for me?

I was always gifting. Present for this person that person. But now I’ve culled ppl who just took advantage of me paying for everything. This season I’m also not buying gifts. I’m giving things I already have, and don’t want. Books, jewelry I don’t wear, clothes, candles. How are you dealing with not shopping forBF or holidays?

Right? RIGHT?

I figured out how to hack my brain a bit and thought I’d share incase it’s helpful to anyone else.

I’m trying to use up all my makeup and skincare before buying anything new. I started going to the product page for an item I have, either the company website or Sephora or whatever, and letting them “sell” it to me all over again. Sometimes I’ll go on tik tok too and let people there influence me to use the product I already have.

I usually research things extensively before buying (I hyper-fixate) or if not I get influenced from tik tok so this tactic is working for me great so far.

Today's date - I won't even get into what BF is or what it means - is the hardest day of the year for many of us. Personally I made a list about a month ago of specific things to look for today which are mostly consumables which may be on sale. Trash bags - cat litter - painters tape, that kind of thing. I did buy a couple of food containers for half off and some loaf pans for Christmas baking but no shoes or handbags and almost no jewelry - a pendant snagged me which I may return. Considering my terrible habits in years past I'll call this a win.

How I did this: Started really trying to organize and declutter, and realized that I have So Much Stuff, y'all. I do not need a damn thing. This takes out the urgency and FOMO.

My recommends for folks trying to resist today: Find some other stuff to do. Watch a movie marathon. Video games. Crocheting. Go out and take a walk. Call a friend. Find something to distract yourself, you can get through today without blowing your budget. And if you do slip up there's always returning, gifting, reselling.

As someone suggested in this sub, I started to gift the skincare I'll never use. Some to family and some on the Share freely Facebook group in my area. And to my suprise, within 5 minutes of posting I've already had 7 comments of people wanting items. Makes me feel good giving these items to people who will actually use them.

I also started to gift my son's toys that he hasn't used or grew out of. Now that is a good feeling because another little bean will be able to get some joy out of the toys that are laying around and not been used.

If you have too much stuff, sell them on Facebook marketplace or just gift them to people on the Share freely Facebook group in your area.

I started a no buy for 100 days and then I was going to allow myself to spend a certain amount of money and start another no buy because I’ve had a hard time controlling my spending. I also started to feel so disgusted with things and packages. I want to get rid of everything I have. However I can’t shake the feeling of just want to get rid of everything and replace it with a few simple things.

I work from home so realistically I could just get rid of most things except the clothes I actually like. But I keep thinking about if I have to get a different job, I don’t have any professional clothes or interview outfits. I don’t even need to get a different job or interview anywhere right now! Where I live is pretty rural and I’m petite so I’d have to order clothes online for work if I decide to work in an office in the future.

Its crazy. I just want to save every penny but I also feel like I need these things. I also get this feeling like why did I spend money on stupid things in the past when I could’ve had these things I actually want :( it’s like 300$ for everything I want to get ugh.

I literally made my husband change his bank account password, deleted all my shopping apps and I even made my husband start doing our grocery shopping because I’m so tired of feeling out of control. 😔

I recently have been collecting blu-rays. I've always had a good selection of blu-rays that were holdovers from my childhood, but in the past few months began intentionally collecting them. I've made more blu-ray purchases this year than any other time in my life. I thought I was picky and only liked a select few things, but it turns out there are a lot of movies I really like. There's a lot of deals on movies right now (Black Friday, obviously) and my mind can't make up which ones to get and which ones to wait on. Of course movies are no necessity but my family's cutting down streaming services and a lot of movie discs are made in Mexico which the incoming administration plans to put tariffs on so... Yeah, my mind feels a sense of urgency about it all. I've already spent more than I should this past week, but there's just a lot of things I like/would like to have. Wish I could quit my mind from rushing through all the titles and trying to minmax for the best deals now just to try to avoid regret later. I should really just be enjoying Thanksgiving (we already had dinner, this is the rest period before dessert). Plus there are more necessary purchases I should be making if I'm actually worried about upcoming tariffs.

(I acknowledge pirating exists, but I really like physical media and having a shelf of it.)