Hello! This may sound silly- but I’ve recently realized that I may be addicted to buying kpop albums & merch.

I got into the kpop fandom scene back in 2020 I told myself I’d be a strict listener and won’t collect anything. To be honest, when I first joined, I didn’t really see the point in collecting.

That quickly changed.

I got my first album- MOTS7- June 2021. I slowly started to buy albums just bc they were cute! It was all bts because they were my ult group at that time.

But it changed in 2022 when I started buying bts dvds knowing I couldn’t afford it and knowing I wasn’t going to watch them. It’s been 2 years and I still haven’t! They’ve been collecting dust on my shelf.

I’ve bought so much merch that I’ve only picked up no more than 5 times

I slowly fell out of bts and got into twice. I SPLURGED on a bunch of twice merch from mid last year to March of this year. I had to physically stop myself because all of my money was going to kpop merch and photocards. And because of that, I slowly drained my savings.

I continued to buy these things knowing I couldn’t afford it, had bills to pay, and even going as far as not buying clothes for my wardrobe.

I started my buying hiatus on April 4 of this year and have bought 5 kpop related things since then. One time being this month.

I’ve come to realize these things are meaningless to me once I have them. I am trying to be a person that doesn’t need physical things to be happy and to just live in the moment.

I’ve unfortunately started using 2 of my credit cards to scratch this itch. Both are there for emergencies only. I did so good at not using them, but I’ve charged maybe $500-$600 to it in maybe 2 weeks. I’m so upset with myself because I knew better, but still did it.

There’s a lot of things I’m missing in this, but this is a quick summary of it all.

I’ve only bought one kpop related package this month and that was collection supplies. Hopefully I can go the rest of the month without buying anything.

Noticing the problem is the first step.

The only thing that made me feel of any value growing up was being skinny, and that was because of an eating disorder. So I became obsessed with dressing up. My body became a canvas and the clothes I wore became the paint. I don’t have the guts to actually talk to people so I wear unique things instead. I got compliments from what I wore and this started conversations for me.

I could never afford the clothes I wanted when I was younger, Nor was I allowed to wear what I wanted cuz of my strict religious parents. Now that I’m free and I have money, I’ve gone crazy.

I also find myself buying way too many craft supplies so I can make my own clothes. But making those clothes takes so long, I often give up. Whenever I think I’m done, I end up on a shopping binge instead. Sometimes it’s because I’m stressed, sad, or bored. It’s a quick way for me to feel like I’ve given myself something without putting in the work of bettering my life or dealing with my emotions. I don’t know how to stop.

Thanks for listening.

Does anyone feel fatigued by all the online searching we have to do before finally buying? May be it’s just me. But it’s becoming rather tiring!

Hi. This is my first post on Reddit so forgive me if i mess anything up. I realized today that my addiction is bad and I don’t know how to stop it or slowly make it better. I feel like when I buy new things (that’s I don’t need) it fills a small temporary hole in me. As someone who is in 80k debt (student loans, credit cards, car payment) I really shouldn’t be spending money like crazy. Today I applied for an Amazon credit card just to get the gift card ($50) and it brought my credit score down. It’s so embarrassing to admit. I obviously don’t need another cc since I’m in debt already. I’m slowly saving more and more each paycheck in a HY savings account . Idk. I’m lost at this point. Every paycheck I think I need to go out shopping that weekend. If anyone has tips to slowly stop overspending and shopping so much it would be greatly appreciated. I think I need to seek other help than from family and friends who also have shopping problems.

Mine says it's been 4 years and I haven't changed and hes right. It's just really hard.

I've been thinking recently about my shopping behaviors (I easily get sucked into wanting to buy new clothes & accessories), and pairing it with budgeting is showing me that I have to spend more time being happy with what I have than always pining and spending money on new things. I realize I spend a lot of time in this headspace of always wanting something, always looking for the next new thing that's going to supposedly make me "X" and this creates a mindset where I'm not appreciating the things I do have. I am working on having a healthy relationship with shopping, because I do enjoy fashion, but I'm realizing that enjoying fashion doesn't mean that I have to shop. Enjoying fashion & buying clothes/engaging in shopping behaviors are actually two very different things even though they seem somewhat related. I have clothes in my closet already, and if I'm always looking for the next new thing, that means I'm not spending time in my closet with the things I own, actually putting them on my body & putting outfits together which is the actual creativity/fashion part of it. I'm realizing as time goes on that I can't afford to always be spending a bunch of money on clothes with all of my other more important priorities. From a personal standpoint & also from a practical longevity standpoint, I want to be spending most of my time enjoying what I have, enjoying the things I like to do and less time thinking about the things I don't have.

Just like so many people, I've used shopping & browsing as a hobby - but I literally can't afford to have shopping be a hobby, both financially and from a mental health standpoint.

I'm sure a lot of other people here also have this problem. It just feels like we as consumers are under constant attack these days to spend spend spend. Recently, my wife found out I was overspending on Amazon by 300 dollars a month, not to mention several other apps out there.

Anybody know of any resources that help them? Curious to learn more about how people are approaching this problem, what methods they use, etc..

Thanks!

Forgive me if you’ve heard this before.

I recently realized I do a lot of online shopping when bored or have a lot of time on my hands.

I have started filling that time with walking. It doesn’t matter if it slow as a turtle or only 5 minutes. It helps me reset my mind, takes up a little of my time with something healthy, and I met my neighbor and we have had some chats. It helps me get out of the dumps so days and I feel like I accomplished something

Perhaps this might help someone else out there.

The hardest part is actually going. Maybe give it a shot

I’ve been recently struggling with spending too much on stuff I don’t need and my savings have just gone away, I’m 18 and I don’t want this to effect me for years to come. Does anyone have any tips to help someone save and give me some constructive advice so I can start to over come this. I feel so guilty looking at how much I’ve made this year so far and seeing how I have like nothing in savings.

Past few months have been up and down since I first posted here, and first admitted that my spending and hyperfixating was a rapidly growing problem. Tried beginning a no buy back in March, and relapsed last month so to speak. Racked the couple cards i was looking to begin clearing back up. Today was a sizable reminder to get my ass back in gear when leasing a new car, I’d learned my credit score dropped pretty significantly since February. As of today I’m 100% committing to a no buy especially when it comes to collecting rare watches…as that’s really the fixation that started getting out of control. At least for the next year. I need to hold myself accountable, clear my 3k of debt and be happier. That is all 😌

so i love LOVE clothing & fashion & expressing myself. unfortunately, this has spiraled into a severe shopping addiction. i have struggled with addiction for years, having a few months here & there where i wouldn’t buy anything.

i would like to imagine that the older i get, i’ll still be stylish. however, i’m worried that just the act of shopping & curating my ideal closet is a source of my shopping addiction.

i want to be in a position where i can buy clothes here and there when i need it & i’ll love all my purchases. where i don’t feel deep regret or urgency. where i don’t live paycheck to paycheck just waiting for the next addition to my closet.

i resell my poor purchases as well & this has contributed to the mindset that i can easily just resell it if i don’t like it.

has anyone been able to overcome their addiction? has anyone been able to develop a healthy relationship with clothing, fashion, style & themselves? what did it take?

Ups tracking says it arrived to their facility a month ago, I’ve contacted them multiple times, they said they can’t tell me when or if it will be processed

I’m freaking out and this is all my fault because I’m too expired to go in person

I have ordered probably tens of thousands of dollars of clothes from them and compulsively made returns (no stealing just a fuck ton of returning) I’m almost afraid I’ll go to jail, but the temptation is so great, their models look so good wearing the clothes

I've been aware of this for some time but I've been listening the book 'The Mountain is You' by Brianna Wiest. She mentioned how shopping addiction could be related to feeling guilty for having abundance.

This is definitely a perspective I never considered and it definitely resonates with me. I grew up in a household where I felt like my wants were never considered and rarely met. My mother instilled the sense of lack within me as she didn't grow up with much and continued her penny pinching as a single mom as well. We weren't poor but she was very focused on saving. She would save plastic wrap and plastic bags to reuse, junk mail as scrap paper to write on. Taking the bus instead of a cab. I would get an allowance, but wasn't allowed to spend it, only save. As I started making money on my own, this lack followed me and became a gaping hole of wants that I could never fill.

Now it feels like I've never been financially stable in my adult life and I don't really know what that looks like. Despite making a good income, I've constantly been in debt, or paid it off just to cycle back into debt. I'm very close to paying off my two highest interest cards and realizing that I could have been in a very different position if I saved all the money instead of spending it.

Shopping addiction for a long time has been a poor coping strategy. I was buying for social acceptance for a long time when I should've just worked on building my social skills. I was buying to avoid feeling negative emotions. I was buying to reach some level of happiness. Shopping was my beacon of hope when I was very depressed. I realize that none of those can be achieved by shopping. I've managed to cut back on spending but still struggle with browsing and caught myself looking for things to buy today. The addiction also tricks my brain into feeling like I accomplished something important by spending money on things I don't need.

I've gotten used to my new budget within the past few months which gives me a lot more breathing room. I'm trying to be more mindful of what I'm spending on and treat every dollar as a vote. I'm close to reaching my emergency savings goal. I am setting more financial goals like saving for a vacation, some big ticket items that I would like down the road, and a kitchen renovation. But I almost feel like I don't deserve to have all this money.

Hope someone can relate. It's been a long road and it continues to be. I feel exhausted but this work I'm currently investing in myself and my mental health (therapy, self help books, and lots of self reflection) will hopefully pay off in the long run.

I realized this morning that my a big part of my shopping addiction has been fueled by my inability to thus far control my hair pulling, otherwise known as trichotillomania. That, and my inability to LET MY HAIR JUST GROW LONG like I've been dreaming of having for years.

See, what happens is that having sub-par thickness hair for my hair type and having chronically shortened hair bc of impulsive haircuts (at the salon at least!), I have tended to PURCHASE MY WAY into a better self-image ie:

• Designer shoes, clothes, bags.
• All the hair products and accessories.
• Jewelry.

Now, which is easier and better in the long run from ALL ANGLES? Buying all this stuff....or just not pulling my hair, like actually technically doing LESS and leaving my darn hair alone? Of course, easier said than done, else I'd have been cured of this long ago, but sometimes the jokes write themselves, and I have to laugh at myself at times.

So, I have decided that I've done enough shopping addiction-related work (see my previous posts/comments for background on my recovery journey), and will be working almost entirely on my trichotillomania (hair pulling) by way of the I Am Sober app and mindfullness and supplements. Though supplements will be ok as soon as I give birth to our 2nd baby veryyyyy soon.

PS. It's highly likely that pregnancy hormones + the physical prison my body is in leaves my mind to be super active and just messed up with now with hardly any of my previous mental and physical outlets, so I DO tend to spend a lot of time pulling hair during pregnancy (same with 1st pregnancy, hence this is our last baby woo!!!!).

BUT regardless, I believe that we can always make progress towards the root causes of our shopping addictions.

PPS. If anyone got the pun, give this an upvote!

Title says it all - keep in mind I did pay my rent and phone bill this month but since I’m out of work rn I’ve been on an extreme budget.

Unfortunately today, after an exam went kind of shitty, I hit the mall. I did plan to buy a few things (socks, facial toner, spf) but didn’t anticipate to spend my last €100. I went to one of my favourite drugstore/cosmetics shop that was having a sale…

I am too ashamed to tell my partner but I do plan to go back tomorrow and return some goods to have a bit of money left for this month.

This is why I do not trust myself with a credit card and will not open one 😂

As the days pass by, I contemplate more and more about doing a major declutter to try and really boost my savings.

I'm wondering though, coming from a place of current abundance because I simply have too much, if the empty space will trigger a scarcity mindset and plunge me into the primal need to gather resources (AKA shopping), or if it will provide a much needed fresh start.

I'm very concerned about the purge-binge cycle. When I go all in, I go all in. Any thoughts?

I have this idea in my head that I’m missing something or there is a specific item out there that I can buy that will magically fix everything for me. Every time I go out shopping, I search for that one item that will cure me. Something I know will make me feel beautiful, put together, and happy. It could be an item for my room, self-care / hygiene, or an outfit. When I go to certain stores like TJ Maxx, Ross, or Burlington something, I can't seem to find anything I like or haven't already purchased, so I start to get anxious that I will have to leave empty-handed. I start to try to buy any little thing to feel a little bit of that new item high. It's just wild to me how I literally get physically anxious that I won't find something to buy in the store and will have to leave disappointed. I feel crazy lmfaooo. I hope I'm not the only one! I guess I just crave that new item high too much. I really have to kick this habit. IM BROKE because of it and still find excuses and ways to shop 😭😭Does anyone else experience this, too?!

I've been buying a bunch of stuff to prepare for a trip I'm going on. Some of it is necessary, like hand sanitizer, Advil, etc. Other stuff is debatable, like new shoes, new dress, etc. I find ways to justify it to myself and even to my husband. I tell him that I'm returning a bunch of the items, just trying them on. We've argued about shopping before, and sometimes it ends with him saying he's sorry he's so cheap and other times me saying I'm sorry I went overboard.

Today a purse arrived from Amazon, and I could tell he was a little miffed but didn't say anything explicitly. By the way, it seems that Amazon will occasionally ship things in manufacturers' packaging so I can't even lie and say it's something else. Anyway. Feeling slighted (even though he didn't say anything), I googled "husband upset at me for shopping reddit" to try and find people in my shoes and well... I found you. I found the quizzes. Sheesh.

It's so unfair, right? I know people who buy more expensive things. I know people who shop more often. Why do I have to be the one to admit I have a problem? I need those new shoes, nevermind the pair that got shoved under the bed. I need that new black dress, nevermind the other two (or five) that are hanging in the closet.

It's also funny to laugh at myself. I was searching for a new dress to wear to a wedding and bought something HIDEOUS off Poshmark and I can't even return it. So now I'm just going to wear the same dress that I have worn to five other weddings. And each time I have worn it, I never regretted it. So why do I feel the need to buy something new?

We actually have a budget as of this year, which has helped a ton! I asked my husband to help me set a number for shopping and at first he said "no, just do what you want!" But then we came up with one together. I communicate with him a lot better now instead of trying to hide purchases. And I stuck to the budget really well for the first quarter. I just have to stop justifying WHY I went beyond the budget this month.

Well thanks for reading my experience... I am determined to take this Google search result as a wakeup call!

For the past year and a half I’ve estimated that I’ve spent at least $800 on items from SHEIN. I’ve purchased items whenever I could afford to and somehow they’ve all added up to this amount. I’ve purchased items to feel better about myself. I have another cart of over $200 worth in items to be check out soon. The trauma of not having nice things like some of my wealthier classmates whilst growing up (you know, branded clothes, iPhones, own car when they hit 16, lavish vacations) and my parents refusal to buy me any nice things and guilt tripping that we “must give to the poor” whenever I treat myself to something nice are what compelled these behaviors. How can I be contented with what I have and just save my money? Whenever I’m bored I just go and browse on SHEIN because it has way cuter stuff at a cheaper price than other brands….

Hi everyone, not sure if this kind of post is allowed but whilst I don't have a shopping addiction (in fact I'm pretty thrifty and don't want for much) my partner defo does.

He knows it, and will fully admit it, but that doesn't stop the shop! He earns more than me but I often end up covering what should be shared expenses because he can't resist buying luxury brands. He has symptoms of autism and often meltdowns are alleviated by buying goods. He describes it as an instant dopamine hit that sours to dread as he realises what he's done.

I love him very much and to his credit he's recognised the problem, paid off his credit card debts, and is trying to go cold turkey.

My question is, how can I best be supportive? I've tried saying things like "look at all the expensive things you've already bought" but I am sensing that is me putting my foot in it!! Any advice much appreciated thanks!

Just wanted to share that its becoming easier after 1 month of reining the purchases in. I never thought I'd look forward to buying groceries but I do. 😂

-I made another purchase this week, something small and somewhat needed (1% of my monthly income)

-I bought two christmas presents because they were at a good price. I have my christmas list planned and budgeted for. I'm done with going silly with presents at christmastime.

-I've come up with a list of low cost hobbies/activities/tasks I can do over the next 6 months to keep my brain and hands busy.

-Thanks to planning my grocery purchases, I am getting more cash back which I'm saving for the holidays food feast so I can have an extra festive time without any guilt.

I need to buy some clothes for my littlies but steering away from brand names and going for the generic stuff. Honestly the brand names don't make a difference in quality, and they grow up too quick to even notice the quality.

I feel so proud of myself. It can be done ladies. :) Keep doing what you're doing, and feel free to share your wins below!

I’m having a hard time right now and hyper fixation on bodycare and specifically perfumes and sampling them. Can anyone relate I’m just depressed overwhelmed. My mind feels numb.

I've had insomnia for a long time, many years. Medications prescribed by sleep medicine physicians didn't help, I don't have any other sleep disorders, and psychology therapy with a PhD psychologist also didn't help with the insomnia and only minimally with my anxiety (CBT method). My shopping got worse during the time I've been in therapy.

I've noticed a circadian rhythm to my overshopping behaviors. I tend to browse, add to cart, and make purchases between 2:00am and 6:00am. I'm much less likely to purchase anything mid to late-morning, and rarely do an afternoon or evening purchase.

My place is quiet during the time I do this, and I'm usually the only one up and nobody is disturbing me. It's before work. By late afternoon, I'm so exhausted that I can barely think straight and recognize that it's a bad time to buy anything or do anything of importance, like work or drive or sign anything.

Early morning when others are sleeping (and when I wish I were sleeping... I'd be ok with waking up at 5!) is when my thoughts seem more clear and when I'm the most alert. It's almost like a circadian mania. Then by noon I'm regretting what I've done or feeling a huge sense of shame.

Can anyone relate to this? I need some strategies on ending the bad habit and starting a new one. Maybe actually using these hobby supplies I'm purchasing instead of spending 2 hours browsing for more, that's obvious. But something else that will deliver a dopamine hit? Due to health issues, I can't do any intense exercise for the same type of "rush".

I have decided to quit cold turkey after a decade. I come from a shopping addict household. Unfortunately my mother passed that onto me. I have never in my adult life been good with money. I inherited a large sum of money (not a trust fund or anything but a lot for me who didn’t really grow up well off) and blew through it in my early 20s. During covid, I spent over 10k in unemployment money on stuff I didn’t need. Every month I am zeroed out bedause all I can do is shop online when I am in a state of insecurity or sadness. I hate myself so much for the way I am and starting this month I am not going to spend money on THINGS.

Hello, I’m new to the subreddit and I definitely have a bad shopping habit that’s hurting me and my partner. I scroll through facebook marketplace, eBay and Amazon pretty often and end up buying things I “need.” I also have adhd and get into new hobbies all the time as I loose interest in the new shiny things pretty quickly that I buy. It leaves me feeling depressed and needing to sell things, and back before I know it I’m doom scrolling shopping for the next things I “need.”

I’m doing better with irl shopping as I can just leave when I feel like I’m in danger of buying things, or just not go to places that are too dangerous that I’ll be tempted to spend. But I just can’t resist the good deals for used stuff in thrift stores and online, so I end up spending money anyway.

Every time I get a package or bring something in the house, my girlfriend gets upset and sometimes sends me right back into the arms of online shopping. I want to save money and not spend so much, help?

For all of you that are participating in the 2024 no-buy/low-buy challenge, please use this thread to post any related updates! Share your wins, struggles, perspective shifts, insights, or tips for anyone else.

Feel free to use the questions below as a guide!

1. Rate the last two weeks on a scale of 1-10 (10 being amazing).
2. What was your no-buy/low-buy goal for the last two weeks?
3. Did you accomplish it, and if not, why not?
4. What did you learn in the last two weeks?
5. What was your biggest win in the last two weeks?
6. What was your biggest obstacle? What could you change to overcome it?
7. What needs to happen to make these next two weeks a success?
8. What do you need help with and who do you need to contact?

This thread will be automatically posted bi-weekly. For any updates in between, please use the weekly check-in or create a separate post.

Please use this thread to discuss recent wins, things you've been struggling with lately, something that you've been trying lately that's helped you, or anything you'd like to share with the community that doesn't warrant a full post.

If you have more than 200 words in your comment, you may want to consider creating a separate thread.

As always, thanks for sharing and we're here for you!

I suffer from cross addiction. Now I’m of prescription medication, my shopping addiction is spiraling. I’m really scared, never had this before and financially I can’t afford it. I was doing well financially and finally on top of previous debt incurred from my ex husband but now I’m going everyday to my favorite department store. Even when I wake up in the night I’m thinking of going…I hate it.

Please make this an absolute judgment free zone

Hello everyone, I think I have a shopping addiction that started during Covid, and now it just hasn’t left. I am a very lonely person, I have no close friends in my life and I crave female friendship SO badly (25 f). Pretty sure it stems from this.

I am graduating school tomorrow, and so I thought “I’ll get myself a gift”… but I said that to too many things… $700 later we’re here. These are clothes bought online. I have not removed any tags, and therefore can return everything in just 35 mins with a drive into the city.

The problem is, I know I can’t handle this financially, but I am literally wanting to cry at the thought of returning everything because the items are so cute and nice.

Please, any advice to overcome the feelings of being truly addicted to shopping, and mentally not being where I should be yet.