So my mom and dad believe I had an addiction with selling. When it came to getting stuff from my grandmas house (after she had passed away) I was thinking “oo I can sell that for some $$” or “if I don’t like it or doesn’t fit in my room, I can sell it for some $$”.

I’ve had this type of thinking for some years now and (unsure but I think it’s normal to want to sell things that no longer fit you or you’ve outgrown psychologically or even have lost or gained weight).

My mom wants me to sell off the remainder of my crystals I’ve had posted on Facebook marketplace and just not sell anything anymore. And work with my counsellor as to the why and/or what triggers/causes me to this behaviour/pattern.

When this was first mentioned in a group therapy session with same counsellor back in 2020, I couldn’t even make it more than 1 week without selling anything. I wasn’t selling crystals till August 2022. As my parents and my counsellor wanted me to commit to not sell anything for a month. I failed of course.

Does anyone have any thoughts, insights, advice on this?

I won’t bother y’all with my sob story, so I’ll get to the point here: after months of getting sucked into nonstop sales (which is a super shitty lifecycle for retailers imo), I finally hit a point where the only things I’m spending on are small Christmas gifts for family and then the rest goes towards groceries, cat needs (food, litter), rent, therapy, other bills, and my new payment plan for my recent procedure. Nothing else appeals to me anymore, and now I don’t have that itch to shop just so I can get outside (social anxiety yay).

Has anyone else hit shopping burnout? I think it’s great, and I kinda hope to stay in this stage for a LONG time to make up for all the wasted money.

Hi everyone

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I've been trying to spend less but sometimes I tell myself let me get this one item then I'll stop. But then another thing pops up that I say I need. So far I've been able to hold off on buying the item(s) but I constantly think about it until I buy it. Then it becomes another thing that's tossed to the side.

I think I've made progress though. I picked up the hobby of junk journaling and I was tempted to get a pocket printer. Somehow I was able to stop myself from clicking buy and I don't think it's because I'm waiting for black Friday. I'm proud of myself.

Has anyone found a bank, bank account, or other service (like PayPal or Venmo or whatever) that helps limit or stop spending?

What I want is somewhere I can have my paycheck (direct deposit) go to, then it only allows transactions to "approved vendors" -- such as my landlord, car payment, cell phone provider.

To buy anything else (like an amazon purchase) I'd have to "request" the vendor (Amazon) and amount, then wait a week before that transaction would be approved. That gives me a week to reconsider and kills impulse buys.

Anything like that out there??

Sept: $2,337.90 Oct: $1,797.55 Nov: $2,235.79

This is only on handbags. I don’t have the heart to add up how much I’ve spent on clothes.

I need help and need to learn how to love my closet and be thankful for what I have. I have to stop getting small hits of happiness every time I shop.

How can I bring myself to declutter???? My shopping addiction is not fixed yet which makes it harder to get rid of stuff. I’ve spent a lot of money over the years and I feel so guilty getting rid of stuff when I know I am bringing more stuff in. I am working on shopping less and I have reduced my shopping, but I am not where I want to be yet.

Any tips to declutter and make sure I don’t buy more stuff??

I know technically I need to stop spending, but I literally can’t. I just feel like I’ll miss out on stuff. I can’t bring myself to do a no buy. What do I do?? I know I need to stop, and have needed to stop for years, but I can’t :(

I fancy myself the type of person who "wears Doc Martens". I have one pair, they hurt like hell and I avoid wearing them (I know, I need to break them in etc). But I'll tape my toes up and wear them when going out. Well, recently, I found a website that had them deeply discounted and I had them in the cart ALLLLMOST hit purchase and stopped myself. "I don't even wear the ones I have!" Whew. In retrospect it was probably a scam lol

I have a problem. I buy things, except the things I actually need to buy. There are various reasons for this. 1. Shame. 2. Fear of spending too much money. The purchases I need to do, I don't do out of fear, so I grow frustrated and buy other random stuff thinking they make me happy. They don't.

What on earth do I mean by that? Easy. Lets assume I have a monitor for my PC. The monitor is bad, it hurts my eyes. So I think about buying a new monitor. But I don't. Why? Guilt. Why buy something when the old thing is still working? Are my standards just too high? Do I have the *right* to have my standards fulfilled? Is it irresponsible to spend this much money to replace something which is still working?

This is kind of an insane thought, because my monitor is my everyday working device for my PC. I depend on it. I feel guilty for buying something which is benefitting my happiness and actual wellbeing (eye strain).

This is just one example, and it translates to everything in my life. The question is always the same: Are my standards just too high? Do I have a right to own things making me happy?

Is this a question of self-worth? Yes. Absolutely. But I don't know how to deal with this, and this leads to frustration. Frustration leads me to binge buying other stuff in the hope it makes me happy. Decoration for my home. Food. Anything but the things I need to tackle in order to be happy.

I don't know the reason for this cognitive dissonance. Why do I fear being happy? Why do I feel like I have no right being happy? My parents always told me: I should do whatever I want, whatever makes me happy. They supported me in everything I did, or wanted. Friends told me: I should do whatever makes me happy. My psychiatrist told me: I should do what makes me happy. A therapist told me: I should do what makes me happy, because in the end I have to deal with my life.

But I feel guilty for being happy. My parents are narcissists. They never felt guilty for doing what they liked, ever, they had no shame manipulating other people to their will, and they were very, very successful in that regard. I also had multiple narcissist friends in my life, I envied them because they didn't have this feeling of guilt. My parents tried teaching me the same style of living, but grew frustrated when they realized I want nothing in my life, I have no motivation for anything, no desires. And without that it is useless to teach a style of living of always do what makes you happy.

So I have 3 problems. 1. I don't know what makes me happy 2. I have no desire of being happy and 3. I feel guilty, ashamed of being happy. 3. is by far the worst thing, as it translates into being ashamed of making purchase I need to do, ashamed of making decisions, instead I will buy anything else, instead of the things I should be buying, things that makes me happiness.

This feeling of guilt is so horrible, it makes me uncomfortable in my own home because I tell myself I have no right to feel relaxed, I have no right to feel happy. This is a really, really strong cognitive distortion, it makes me feel like I should be ashamed of having an own identity, own desires, wishes etc.

Especially regarding purchases, this guilt is really strong as it involved other people. The person packaging the item, the person shipping the item, the person delivering the item to my door, the person possibly giving me advice in a store, the person responsible for a refund. I feel guilty for "forcing" them to work for me to make me happy beyond anything except basic human needs. I don't feel guilty about fulfilling my basic human needs like buying food, water, cleaning utensils for my home etc. because I know everyone on earth needs this. I feel guilty for making purchases I know only *I* need. It feels so egoistical, it disgusts me doing things for my wellbeing

Did I mention my parents have helper syndrome? I also have helper syndrome. I love helping other people fulfill their happiness, their wishes, their desires. But then I realise I am doing nothing, nothing to make myself happy. This is a problem, as I appear like an empty shell. In my life, many people have asked me: "What do *you* do that makes *you* happy? What do *you* want in life? What do *you* like?" And to those questions I answer: "I don't know".

I don't know what the reason is for this inherent guilt I have, almost feeling guilty for merely existing, guilty for having desires, guilty for having a right to be happy. I don't know why someone would feel like that. What could be a reason for such a strong cognitive dissonance?

So I’m an alcoholic. Sober 1 and half plus. But still every once in a while, I get on these kicks. Where I spend 1000s on one type of product. I have a shit ton of watches. I have bought plenty of 90s vintage T-shirts. Have a lot of boots. This wasn’t really a problem growing up. I grew up financially well off so I could do what I want. I’m married now. Responsibility I live with my wife. I just bought a bunch of fancy boots. I can never let me get in one of these states again. I would say manic but not really. wildly insecure and I think my diet has a big effect on me. I have an addictive personality and I need do something about this. Is there a way to put like blocks on my phone so I can’t spend money I don’t know. How I quit drinking I kinda went cold turkey with a mild weaning off period

I used to shop a LOT, but when I got busy with not so great things in life I started to stop, I didn't feel a need to buy anything new. But recently it came back and I'm afraid it's worse than ever; Now when I shop I feel like my shopping isnt even "valid" enough unless its at least $100, and I dont know if this is just a me thing but if the bag isn't like the paper ones/ harder material ones than I also wouldn't feel like its valid enough, and I would just buy more. Today I spent 250 on a pair of pants within 12 min. Any tips??

Honestly, I've been doing so well recently with paying off debt and I went without purchasing things for 10 days (which is good for me atp.) However, then, there was a pair of jeans that I really wanted that was on sale, and I was getting points on Rakuten, so I conned myself into purchasing them and then an extra top to get free shipping.

And then, I ended up spending way more than I wanted to. I got the jeans today and they don't even fit, so I will be returning them.

However, then, the day after I purchased the top, I started obsessing over Holy Grail items that I've wanted 1-2 years, and ended up pulling the trigger when I found the two dresses on resale sites. My biggest problem is those resale sites. I love that they are secondhand and so I justify purchasing from them because it's "better than" fast fashion. Then the things I want are quite expensive (~$150 dress).

I also tried to buy DoorDash today, but luckily, it was canceled. I ended up eating something I had a home instead.

But then, I almost bought a pair of $138 pants. I stopped before I purchased.

All of this was triggered by having to issue my job an ultimatum to decrease my workload as I'm literally doing the job of 3 people. I've been begging for coverage since September with no reprieve, and I'm exhausted. I have panic attacks and cry because of too much expectation on me.

I've found some strategies to cope with it, but at some point, I hit the wall with my tolerance/willpower, and I just spend, spend, spend. I get so frustrated with myself, but when I start purchasing again, it just opens a floodgate in me and I can't control it.

I feel like there is no way for me to manage this right now, outside of short bursts of days (~10 days). Any advice?

Thanks for your support following miscarriage.

We’re starting to try again and my shopping is out of control. I think the fear of the loss, the worry about it all, the extra hormones, the lack of will and control -

I returned $400 worth of clothes today just to stay up late and order $700 worth after spending $150 today.

Disgusting on all accounts.

I don’t know what I want out of making this post other than to receive hatred and vitriol - to be told how stupid and disgusting and nothing I am: to be beaten down until a point of nothingness, maybe to reflect the way I feel inside.

I don’t… although I got this from my mom so witnessed her addiction my whole childhood.

Whenever I’m becoming fixated on something,I look at my husband and think about how so many of us with shopping addictions are women, then I get angry at society, and that’s what stops me from shopping for stuff. He is really supportive of me just putting the phone down.

Obviously, it’s more complicated than that, but I do find myself needing a reality check by looking at my non-shopping addict partner as a comparison. This would be really tough if he was also a shopping addict.

"Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy" is coming out November 20, I'm looking forward to it! Maybe if it disgusts and shocks me, I'll be turned off (even more) by mindless shopping 🛍️

There are a lot of causes for my shopping addiction and overconsumption, including mania but my god I look at the giant basket I have filled with slime and question myself, what the FUCK was I thinking?? I was 24 living alone on a service industry wage. Probably 90% of them are untouched and I literally flushed that money down the toilet. I’m throwing them away because they are old and completely melted now and I don’t have the time or energy to try to fix them. I also don’t want to constantly be reminded of the amount I spent. I’m in a better place now, when I go to stores I find myself saying “that’s garbage” more often than “that’s cute I want it.” Still working on myself though!

Hey guys, I am a design student, and in my business class, I was asked to come up with an idea, and we try to validate it during the semester. My idea was to make an app to help women make the most out of their existing wardrobes. My thought process was to cater to the women who tend to repeat their outfits often and feel they have nothing to wear and end up making unnecessary purchases. What if the app has their wardrobe and can suggest new ways to style It or new combinations? You might wonder why I am posting this here. I feel you guys would be the right people to validate this idea. We are asked to validate based on people's interests, and this idea has an Instagram and website; if you think this is cool, please sign up for the waitlist and follow the social media page. This is just to validate the interest. I am not a brand, and all of this will end after my semester. If you think this would be helpful to you, please sign up for the waitlist. That's the only way I can show the number to my professor when I submit my findings. (none of your data will be submitted, and it's kept confidential). I don't want to do anything with your data. Thank you

website
Instagram

Is killing me. I can help but look because it's my hobby/ joy to shop. Just looking for support and suggestions.

Thanks!

Please use this thread to discuss recent wins, things you've been struggling with lately, something that you've been trying lately that's helped you, or anything you'd like to share with the community that doesn't warrant a full post.

If you have more than 200 words in your comment, you may want to consider creating a separate thread.

As always, thanks for sharing and we're here for you!

I don’t like a ton of jewelry or clothing…but I found some I really liked today in a vintage store. It was 100% in my price range. However, I chose to not buy it until I started wearing all the necklaces I already have. I ended up spending 12 dollars, so not a 100% win. Still, a lot better than the 25 I might have spent.

Unfortunately I have spent many thousands of dollars on unnecessary purchases because of my shopping addiction. Does anyone have any advice for making myself return things that I really want to keep? It’s all stuff I don’t need but returning it is so hard.

It's so tempting to buy something today. I'm sad about the election. I was hoping I was voting for the first woman president when I voted this time. My mom is still in the nursing home. I have bronchitis. But I'm not a child. I have to deal with life like a mature adult. I didn't get very far into the decluttering before I got sick and now I'm really tired and too congested to do much. The dreary rainy day today matches my mood. One good thing is that it gives me plenty of time to read.

Hold me accountable! I will update in 3 wks

I noticed I waste my time window shopping anywhere at any time online and it seriously damaging how I think! It’s like a nagging thought like binge eating when I used to do it. What should I eat next is now what should buy next. It has reached to the point where I purchase something every single day!

No matter how much things I get, I always want more and there is always something that sounds fun to buy, especially online! There is the mystery, there is the romanticism of the object.

BF & Holiday sale season is upon us 🌊 we will be flooded with emails & texts, we will breath polluted air with promotions. But we are stronger!

My guidelines:

• Write down what you think you need
• only shop on the weekend + in person (going from daily to weekly, then will slowly go to one or twice a month… etc)
• set a limited number of items
• starting counseling on Thursday!
• work in 1:1 system, one items goes out one item gets in. Curtesy of the members here, such a good reminder.

Like when I think about buying something, I’m like fighting with my brain, but my brain can’t compute and it makes my head hurt a little. Is it withdrawal to I’m not getting the dopamine rush of purchasing something? That’s what I think it is personally. I always see something I want.

I feel like a crack head.

I have spent just under $400 this month. It's only been 10 days into this month.

$70 of that was an intended purchase of a tool I've had on my need list for three months. $65 of that is another need (a pack of some stocking stuffers for SILs). That leaves me with over $250 in impulse buys of want items.

I did okay with Low-Buy October, and I did not by ANYTHING in September... I think I must have convinced myself that I deserve a treat and I feel like I've unlocked the flood gates.

I need help with sticking to a long term goal. I thought by doing monthly goals I would be okay, but it's now just made it easier for me to talk myself into rewarding myself if I end up achieving a monthly goal (No Buy September goal met; Low Buy October goal met).

I think the impulse buy started after I purchased the need item (the $70 item). Somehow I must have felt like well I think I deserve a little treat for being so good and I already spent $70 this month so what is a little bit more...

I'm also recognising I'm stressed. There is a lot to do. I have a final assignment due for uni; I work full time during the day; I have two kids and I am once again the one in charge of Christmas presents for our large extended family (I organise Secret Santa every year, and I still go around collecting stocking stuffers for everyone).

I've been working with my psychologist about my spending. Specifically I wanted to stop the impulse spending on items that I usually ALWAYS regret. Returning items becomes expensive and time consuming in itself.

Currently I have one thing that I've scheduled to buy for end of the month. That item is a considered want purchase. I don't want to keep impulse shopping. Any suggestions to help me not spend any more until the end of the month?

I got banned from holister because I returned a couple of things used. They cancel all my orders automatically now. I buy from them a lot and return a lot as I change my mind all the time. Will they be able to recognise me from any of my new emails and ban me again?

I wanted to get an mp3 player so I just ordered it from Amazon a few minutes ago. It wasn't expensive but I need to save money after I spent like 400-500 dollars on getting a cat, (300 was the fee the apartment management charges, and then the other was adoption fees, supplies and food and toys).

I canceled my amazon prime membership but it doesn't actually cancel until November 20th. I am going to try not to buy anything for the rest of that time. I don't know what I want to do later today so I was thinking of going to Target, Tj maxx, and maybe the mall. I keep thinking of shopping as entertainment and I gotta stop.

I also have to do my weekly grocery shopping later today. I gotta find other ways to keep me busy. I said I originally was gonna chill at home most of the weekend.

Somebody please distract me before I start adding things to my cart out of pure habit! HAHAHA

My finance took away my credit cards because I spend so much money.. I used my credit card to the point where it put us in a bind. I kept it a secret for so long but after a few months told him, but now he’s helping me pay it off and I know he’s upset with me. I hate what I did but shopping brings me so much joy, what’s something I can do to help that? i feel like I want to go shopping tomorrow but I can’t, but it’s just a URGE. why don’t I have self control ..