I am interested in lists of different psychotherapeutic techniques and exercises that are helpful. Maybe there's a particular frame-work, workbook, or course that y'all think is especially helpful for treating addictions.

Also if you know of books, or workbooks in that vein, then please send me their names.

Thank you all.

Is there a book, audiobook or youtube link that gives more basic understanding and history of buddhism to those who know absolutely nothing about it? Like myself. Or what are your favorite related books so i can start browsing? I really want to know more of the vocabulary and be steered in a direction where i dont find myself not understanding the terms being usedThanks 🙏 Ive listened to RR several times and i have Dharma Punx

Hi! Very grateful to see this sub become active again. I just moved out to Palm Beach County and am heading towards to West Palm Beach. Anyone know of any meetings here? I found two in Delray but none in WPB yet. Thanks.

Hey everybody, welcome to the Refuge Recovery subreddit! This subreddit has been around for years, but has been locked in a read-only state for the last couple. I'm going to try to revive it. I intend to make this a place for people who are involved with Refuge Recovery to hang out and share with each other, and to do that anonymously if they wish.

I have removed most of the years-old posts that are blatantly off-topic, outdated, or inflamatory. And I now look forward to a future where we can use this space productively and positively.

Refuge Recovery subreddit FAQ

Q - WTF is Refuge Recovery?

A - I will defer to the official Refuge Recovery website to answer that. Briefly, Refuge Recovery is about applying Buddhist principles to addiction recovery. It is a non-theistic approach to addiction recovery that doesn't ask us to believe in anything, it only asks us to do the hard work of recovery. Refuge Recovery is applicable to all forms of addiction, including substance addictions and process addictions.

Q - Is this subreddit run by Refuge Recovery World Services?

A - No, it is not officially sanctioned by Refuge Recovery World Services. At least not yet - I invite RRWS to adopt this subreddit as an official resource for members, and to link to it from their website. But for now, it is gratefully moderated by me, /u/foobarbazblarg . I have been involved in Refuge Recovery for almost 5 years now, and it has been a game changer for my recovery.

Q - Is this a good place for me to find out information about Refuge Recovery?

A - I hope that it becomes that, but be aware that this subreddit is not official, and the best place for you to start in finding Refuge Recovery literature and other information is the Refuge Recovery website . From there, you can visit the official social media resources of Refuge Recovery.

Q - Why did you revive this subreddit?

A - Because I believe that Refuge Recovery is important, and deserves to have a place where its members can meet to share anonymously about their struggles, and to share their experiences.

Q - Well what about the Facebook group?

A - The Facebook group is a valuable resource, and this subreddit does not attempt to replace it. But Facebook does not offer the same options for anonymity that Reddit does, and some people just don't like Facebook for various reasons. I expect that the vibe here will be quite different from that of the Facebook group.

Q - You say Refuge Recovery is "important". How so?

A - The Four Noble Truths and Eightfold Path of Buddhism are all about suffering and the way out of suffering through meditation and other practices. That applies to everyone, but it really apply to us as addicts. We addicts experience modes of suffering that most non-addicts don't, and I have come to believe that Buddhist practice is an exceptionally effective route to addressing those modes of suffering. Buddhism, at least as it is practiced in Refuge Recovery, is not religious, and so this program may appeal to some who have problems with the religious overtones of the 12 steps.

Q - Oh, so Refuge is anti-12 Steps?

A - No, not at all. Refuge Recovery is not antithetical to the 12 steps, the two programs are complementary. Many people, including the founder of RR, thrive in working both programs.

Any other questions? Feel free to ask them in the comments.

Refuge Recovery subreddit rules

I'm not big on overmoderation - just try to interact with people here the same way you would interact with people at a face-to-face meeting. Here are some guidelines:

• Don't promote commercial products or services.

• Don't be an asshole, don't be a troll.

• Don't post about other programs that purport to be Buddhist addiction recovery programs.

• Don't use this as a place to rant about the Refuge Recovery program, Refuge Recovery World Services, or individuals involved officially or unofficially with Refuge Recovery. Try to practice Right Speech.

• Don't send unsolicited DMs or private messages to posters.

• Try to keep the tone positive, especially when interacting with someone who is suffering.

• Regarding off-topic posts: It's OK to post things that are somewhat off-topic, but if it's completely out of left field, unrelated to recovery or buddhist principles, your post may be removed.

So after a pretty rough month of weekly slips, I finally got it together enough to attend a RR meeting in my city tonight. I have been in and out of AA for years and while I loved the people I met, I dreaded meetings because I just really don’t like the Big Book or the emphasis on addiction as powerlessness over a substance. I basically white knuckled every meeting until it was time for shares. I figured RR couldn’t be any worse.

Wow...my expectations were completely exceeded. That hour was easily the best recovery related thing I’ve ever done. The book makes sense and is in line with modern addiction science. It wasn’t vaguely sexist. There was no slogan mongering...just wisdom and intelligence. And the meditation was awesome, it was challenging to keep directing my thoughts to the mantra the chair gave us, but I felt really refreshed afterward. The other group members were really lovely too.

I had a huge aha moment after the reading...I drink to defer pain and achieve pleasure. I have a low tolerance for pain, and unfortunately there’s been more than a just amount of pain in my life. The goal is to help me tolerate negative emotions. Sounds simple, but I’d never thought of it quite like that before.

I’m really looking forward to reading more of the RR book tomorrow and to my next meeting! Never thought I’d say that.

Does anyone have any suggestions for online resources in the meantime? I’m not on facebook so that might limit my options, but I also use Instagram and Twitter.

Hello!

I’m new to RR but I was wondering - can I bring my boyfriend who’s a normie to a meeting? He is immensely supportive of me on my path to recovery and I’d love to show him what RR is all about but I don’t know if the policy is the same as AA (as in open & closed meetings). I’m eager to share this experience with him, but don’t want to violate trust/confidentiality or make anyone uncomfortable, so please let me know.

Thanks!

Hello.

So the more i've been practicing mindfulness, the more i've become aware that I have a lot of anger and that i need to be more patient with my food addiction. It's gotten to the point where I can hold off on it and it's most easy when i am mindful and when i am practicing, both giving and receiving, massage as I think it is my life's purpose to do bodywork

I still relapse though. I wanted to know, am i on the right track in thinking that if i don't indulge in the behavior that eventually the temptation will go away and that a life of recovery is based on developing the patience to bear the addiction, watching it as it comes up and to watching it go away mindfully? Only a few times have I gotten to the point where I held off long enough for the addiction to recede I relapsed today but found i could go a little longer than i usually do in the heat of my temptation. I think people go through a lot worse than i am going through i.e. heroin or meth addiction and if they can overcome it than I can overcome mine. Does that overcoming entail bearing the pain of not getting it and watching it rise and cease as it comes up and goes away? Am I on the right track by patiently bearing the pain of having the temptation be there without reacting to it?

Thank you

I just hit 100 days of sobriety yesterday. Refuge Recovery deserves a lot of credit for helping me change my worldview and learn how to take life as it comes.

Hello all. I recently discovered Refuge Recovery as I've been working on my problem drinking for some years now. I started reading the book and am very open to it so far which is a big difference from a lot of other recovery literature I've encountered.

Currently on my fifth day without a drink and starting to feel better, I wanted to reach out and see if there was anything happening in this community.

Thanks for reading, I hope to interact with some of you in the future.

Hello, I am new to this sub. Today is my 17 month sober birthday. I have a story to tell, as do we all, but I just wanted to introduce myself. I went to rehab in the fall of 2017, and relied heavily on AA the first nine months after I got out, while at the same time finally taking advantage of a clear mind to devote myself to the study and practice of Buddhism. I grew increasingly dissatisfied with several elements of AA through the process, and am minimally engaged with it now. My AA sponsor finds it troubling, but encourages me to do what’s right for me. There are no Refuge groups near me, within a few hours away at least, so I’d eventually like to start a meeting here.

In the meantime, I am hungry for friends and fellowship, so I’m happy to be here!

I'm in need of something like this, spent some years in the past in different groups like SA, SAA, SLAA. I just couldn't grasp onto the higher power fixing all my shit as much as I tried. Yes, I am being somewhat sarcastic there, I understand it's me that's got to do the work, but I think you know what I mean, and it just didn't stick.

Just today I am in a really bad place with my marriage and seeing this in a different group has me surprised it exists and cautiously optimistic that it's something that can help, as I would consider myself an experienced if not somewhat mediocre meditator.

New meeting in the north side of the Twin Cities area....

Wednesdays 6:30-8:00pm Allina Health Outpatient Addiction - Unity Campus 7590 Lyric Ln NE, Fridley, MN 55432

Our weekly peer-led meetings include meditation, readings from the book Refuge Recovery, and group sharing. All are welcome.

Lets get real about something: Some people will have good time in recovery *from certain things* only - say they don't drink or use drugs, but they smoke and have other what is generally accepted as harmless process addictions.

The book says people are expected to be abstinent from everything.

But recovery in some things still counts, but lets be honest about what that is exactly. If anyone wants to qualify themselves as an authority without qualifying for WHAT they have recovery from, they're just giving you a length of time. That's like saying you've been employed for X years without saying in what industry.

What if the addiction you're dealing with are the ones they are still practicing, or don't even regard as a thing?

Call me crazy but I don't think this is splitting hairs, at all.

I like the Refuge interpretation of taking refuge in the Buddha as potential in ones own awakening, although I probably wouldn't frame it as a future point in time which ends up being as something that isn't here yet, but if we think of it as buddha nature then it is already here, the full potential is just yet to be realized though there may be evidence even now.

As far as dharma, well cosmic law - not exactly limited to book learning and repeating those ideas almost verbatim. When considering such repetition from the perspective of rebirth I find preaching Buddhist teachings quite ironic.

And sangha, while the more standard and obvious interpretation is the social dimension, people like Thich Nhat Hahn have framed it as including all beings. Of course animals don't go to recovery meetings, though they may very well help us just by being themselves as many with pets know. Contrast that with toeing the party line of whatever recovery system one happens to subscribes to we start seeing the contrast between natural relating vs. an attempt at conforming to the aforementioned book learning.

I think the more recovered and spiritually aligned we are, etc., the less we have to rely on repeating the little truisms that gets thrown around in EITHER recovery or Buddhist circles - again I find such repetition to be like rebirth. Anyway why do people say those things like other people haven't already heard it? Be real and use your own words, having a lot of recovery surely doesn't mean you start sounding like a quote robot.

Given that Refuge is not identified with a particular type of addiction, understanding ones that we don't ourselves have or mental conditions/illness that are not even addictions (but may co-exist with an addiction in the same person) may be a challenge when there's a lot of diversity but perhaps a lower level of understanding encompassing these.

While we can't be an expert in everything, it seems to me we should have a basic level of awareness and some real working knowledge that is inclusive. Who doesn't have some kind of trauma for example? But if we're going to educate ourselves or just be generally informed, how will that happen? Shares at meetings are only so long, it's not realistic for the person to explain how their stuff works even if they know it well and focus on that topic rather than sharing anything personal.

We might say we want to focus on our own recovery, but I think if we really have a good "amount" of recovery we also have our minds freed up, and we can invest that freedom into better understanding, taking an interest in others. We can take an interest in ways that are not relevant to the disease and the solution, which may still build rapport, but nobody is going to feel like there are people who have a solution here.

I think if there is going to be mentorship, whether that's viewed as authoritative or a peer based dynamic it implies a certain understanding of the human condition and the mind. Even if people were never interested in being in that kind of position there is always the question of our part in something. I think in a karmic sense our part of things is having *some* understanding of the specific life context we find ourselves in, so in this case the recovery sangha. The trouble I find with a formulaic approach that takes the teachings in a superficial way is it in fact ignores the actual life context of what is happening and assumes the simple formulas are applicable in a uniform way across the board. That sounds awefully like someone saying they don't need to know you, you need to know the program *as they understand the program* - whereas that understanding might be insufficient even if the principles can help it isn't actually seen, just sort of a mechanical application that is rather forced.

I remember the book has a statement on process addictions like food where it says setting bottom line behaviors will have to suffice, is anybody out there familiar with the idea of a topline? I've been thinking about it in terms of service positions and best practices like reports at business meetings, but of course it can apply to recovery itself.

And I don't know that it necessarily has to be a matter of quantifying things. That may be the easy thing to do, like eating your six to eight servings of fruits and vegetables, but there might be other things to try - say a new vegetable rather than the new fast food joints sandwich with the Special Sauce, and you can try a new one each week. Or take a serious step towards learning how to cook healthy, something like that.

I understand if a bank account for meeting is going to be in the name of the meeting rather than individuals that serve in the capacity of Treasurer/signer Etc you have to apply for a tax ID, I'm wondering at what point this makes sense for a single meeting. Would it depend on the size?

Edit: For that matter what about applying for tax-exempt status?

Hi, I am planning to attend my first refuge recovery meeting tonight. I'm a few days back after an awful few months. What is the format of the meeting ? I have attended other fellowship meetings, are they the same ?

Does anybody have one in their area? Like maybe a little half hour pre-meeting before a regularly scheduled one? I'm wondering what a good structure might be for one..

Reflecting on reading this heading under the chapter on understanding recently it occurred to me a logical way of looking at the practice would be a 2X2 table where one axis is interpersonal, and another is intrapersonal. So it would be both asking for and offering forgiveness to others, and also both asking and offering for oneself rather than just offering it. We may have something like an inner child or a superego and depending on which direction it's going it may be appropriate to also ask ourselves, or another part of ourselves for forgiveness. (and I'd imagine it's something like the superego asking the inner child) People often talk about "working on" forgiving themselves or ask how to do it, but do they ask for it? A part of ones psyche sincerely asking would be fairly significant I'd think. Anyway just wanted to put this out there.

Hi, live in the uk, not sure how to go about finding a mentor.

There isn’t another meeting here for a week

Thanks

Hi, I’m new to Refuge Recovery.

I’m based in London and we only have 1 meeting a week at the moment.

I went to the meeting a couple of days ago and apart from the facilitators everyone else seemed to just be ‘going to another meeting’ as opposed to taking RR seriously.

I have read about RR and I think it might be the right path to recovery for me.

Any advice on how to get involved and get some support would be greatly appreciated.

I don’t want to have to wait until the next meeting in 4 days before I start on this path.

I’m just not sure what to do next.

Thanks.

Paul

This may not reach the target audience with the small sub but I'll try to keep it short ... I wonder if we've really processed both the nature of and our own process addictions? Here I mean process as in mentally processing something, like when we have a psychological issue we have to process it.

Something that maybe has not been considered, certainly not articulated as far as I'm comes across is there is a difference between natural/wholesome processes and artificial/unwholesome processes. When we look at foods that tend to be addictive it's likely to be refined so it's high in sugar and the like, it is not "whole" but underwent this process of becoming say some form of flour, with sugar on top. Compare that with picking a fruit off a tree and chewing it.. It's also similar with media and technology since that's a matter of information consumption, but the content and delivery system is highly processed, and the process is not a natural or wholesome one - it tends to be disconnected, which is why it sucks you in.

We are out of touch with the natural process/rhythm of our biology, and its relationship with the environment. Aside from diet there's light/dark cycles of the day (Nobel prize was recently awarded for circadian rhythm discoveries) and longer, seasonal changes. Even if we read about it and try to use those guidelines, how many of us actually have that experientially? Places where they treat people with tech addiction seem to try to give those guys (kids?) a lot of nature time, but our food system also tends to be highly technological too.

Not to nitpick since I absolutely believe in using anything that helps, but I think it's good for us to recognize that even our social support may be a bit mechanical rather than having this kind of natural rhythm, which is just the order already in place.

Maybe what it comes down to is we need to recover the natural process.

I have recently been able to admit to myself that I have a problem with certain process addictions and will be attending my first Refuge Recovery in the next week. I have been going over the material I can find online and I had a question about the 4th guiding principle (about abstinemce) and how it applies to process addiction.

Some of it is intuitive. It would be foolish to assume someone who has a food addiction has to abstain from food. But here I am with phone in hand on a social media site, but trying to get help, but also getting the same sort of short term relief that comes from electronics andnsocial media that I am trying to overcome. So where is the line drawn?

Thank you in advance for guidance.

Maybe the answer is just that we are not thinking when we feel this separation anxiety, but even when it's not an extreme state of mind, in general it seems like people are impressed with more people even if they don't resonate with the recovery program or frankly, I wonder if they even necessarily resonate with particular individuals in terms of fellow travelers or a potential mentor/sponsor. (whereas in my mind, if you find a guide that may make the difference even if you don't have meetings with a ton of people and the associated socialization)

Personally, I think I'd kind of feel like I'm selling out. In fact, I think I DID in spite of many indications that some programs I was involved with in the past just are very unlikely to work. I may have people to do things with, but I just don't really buy the program except in parts, and it's not like I'm going to even introduce Buddhist principles with any significant detail in that position. (which is probably assumed to be a follower that doesn't question)

I suppose all things being equal, if you don't see how anything really works you are just inclined to be dependent on the social support aspect? Does anyone want to speak to this from their own direct experience? It seems like it happens even with people who know Buddhism in some detail.

BTW I don't mean that you can't be involved with more than one program/fellowship, my point is there seems to be little discrimination even when you'd think people would know better intellectually - and it's not hard to imagine fellowships smaller in number may not get the support even if people appreciate the program, with this situation. Is it because we're focusing on what we can get rather than service?

I work as a recovery aide at a treatment center. Some residents have a strong dislike for AA, but have shown interest in Refuge. We're trying to get them to meetings, there just aren't many nearby. We typically do an AA "10th Step" every night, so residents can do a daily inventory of fears, resentments, ego, dishonesty, gratitude, and goals. Is there a similar exercise in Refuge?

I'm starting to think so called fellowship in the form of hanging out outside meetings is a potential pitfall, at least for me - this is not a blanket judgment and I'm not asserting a general position. It is not the same as sangha. If we're being honest we'd probably have to admit there's not much mindfulness a lot of times. Recovery isn't based on superficial socialization even if there isn't anything wrong with it in itself - lack of mindfulness just makes it more likely.

I just found out someone I really like and genuinely care for thinks I can't be trusted. I won't go into details but it is a rather intractable situation that is extremely unlikely to change. I find myself wondering if traumatized people can (are capable of) stop traumatizing others, in effect spreading it - and if it is inevitable and any attempts at amends is really little more than something to believe in.

I hope this person never finds out they were wrong, and I suppose this is where it's better to forget than forgive - it just so happens that time is what will prove their belief wrong. What makes us think we CAN make amends anyway? Maybe I am just not up on 12 Steps but realistically it seems to depends on the wounds, you can have the intention and TRY but it seems only realistic to say you may not be successful - and there is no moral judgment from a perspective of woundedness, just recognition of suffering. Not to be negative but there is a reality check somewhere.

I realize a superficial reading of the title would sound like it's a bad idea, specifically I am thinking sticking with the meetings and the occasional specific invitations rather than open invitations. I appreciate the gestures of folks who put that together, but it seems little more than delusion and confusion even if it starts off mild - and I'm okay with recognizing the reality of that.

We can help people recover without being their friend, and people have plenty of friends who does nothing to help their recovery.

Talk about impersonal. Well played, universe.

Saturdays 11:30 AM Lake Harriet Spiritual Community Lower level - Earth room 4401 S Upton Ave Minneapolis, MN 55410

Our Refuge Recovery meeting has 20 minutes of sitting meditation, then reading from the Refuge Recovery book and group discussion. Group members explore the core teachings which include meditation, the Four Truths and the Eight Fold Path as a way to recovery from addiction. Our group practices confidentality. This is a drop-in group. No advance registration is required.

All are welcome, regardless of beliefs or non-beliefs. No prior knowledge of Buddhism or meditation is required. Always free; donations welcome.