Some highlights on video.

Wow.

Seriously, don't vote for this guy unless you want more of the same for your country.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pMwa5QZ7_Q

I'll keep this brief. My girlfriend and I recently celebrated our five year anniversary, and shortly after I made some discoveries by looking through her phone that she was a serial cheater the first two years we were together. Multiple one night stands with three different people in our social circle. I remember thinking something felt off, but she always lied and gaslit me until I approached her with proof and threatened to ask these guys questions. Even then there was some trickle truth.

She swears nothing has happened in the ensuing three years, and that she was immature, selfish and at the time didn't understand just how hurtful her actions were (bit of a reach considering we were in our late 20's). She also tells me she was terrified of commitment, and that since then she has come to love me more than anyone she's ever known and deeply regrets what she did. The lying was because she was terrified of losing me. I believe she's sincere, but that doesn't make what she did right.

Two of my friends say that I should bail, while a few others think that she's obviously changed since then. One of them even went as far as to say that this is to be expected of the New York dating scene, since everyone is "shopping around" for as long as possible, and all that matters is that she wants to be with me NOW. Part of me wants to move past this and understand that fine, maybe she didn't love me then, but she certainly does now, and that's enough. Is this crazy?

Worst part is she is keeping it secret from my MIL and her brother at the insistence of this CNA. She is bringing these people into grandma's house so she can sign these documents. She's organizing all of this

The CNA will continue to get paid as a result of grandma taking this money out on the house, is our suspicion as to her motivation. Grandma needs to move to assisted living as she is not going to have the money to live another year in the house without dying or selling (once sold, the proceeds can easily cover several years in the nursing home). Other than this, yes we are going to tell MIL tomorrow (we just found out, they are asleep already).

EDIT: Thank you all for sharing your urgency about this, MIL wakes up early but doesn't answer phones when she is sleeping. I'm not going to let this one go. They're going to have a visit from the state by the time this is all put to bed. Turns out this lady isn't even a licensed caregiver of any sort, just a retired nurse offering

MIL has power of attorney, not sure what our options are from here. This feels like elder abuse. Anyone been here??

EDIT: I'll keep you all posted, thank you. Turns out the CNA isn't a CNA, just a retired nurse "taking care" of Grandma when she needs it. Which is all the time. $$$$

Hello everyone,

I'm going to venture around Europe with my camper (and a dog) starting in December, and I have taken this choice mainly as an opportunity/tool to look for my next city to live in. I've lived in various cities/countries in the last years, and I feel it's arriving the time to settle (yes, a paradox to buy a camper) at least for a decade or even more.

I'm 35y, and I'm Italian. I work online. I lived in Berlin, Porto, Milano and Bologna (and outside of Europe too, but this won't count).

I'd love to know which cities you've been to during your travels that fit (as much as possible) these characteristics I'm looking for, so to go and visit them myself to get a feel for the quality of life and the offering.

- A city that has things to offer to the youth, cultured, vibrant, spacious/not stressful, open minded (maybe with some expats too so to bring fresh mindsets).
- Serious nature nearby, both for me and for my dog. Maybe possible to live in nature and commute to the city when needed (I don't need a job as I work online, so I'd be fine to stay a bit outside)
- Affordable rentals and cost of living, but not necessarily dirt cheap. I can't afford London, but I don't need to live in the middle of nowhere in Sicily to beat costs either.
- Affordable real estate market in case I wish to buy a house. I'd love if housing has the possibility of having gardens or outdoor spaces (for instance, in Milano you are already lucky if you get a balcony).
- Friendly people, this is important. I can't stand anymore living in a city where everyone is generally grumpy, rude, or superficial.

The last part that I'm concerned about, but I can work around it, it's of course language. I've lived in Berlin without speaking German, and it was doable and my choice, but I did miss connection with people. On another note, in Porto I did speak a little of Portuguese, but people were surely friendlier on average.

Now, what cities have you visited that left you interested and match (as much as possible) what I'm looking for? I'd put it in my travel list with the camper, and go try them to check how it feels living there.

I have some cities/countries that are interesting to me, mainly Italy (but still need to find the right city), UK (cause English is native and there's lots of music and art, and people are friendly, but I'd need a Visa), and Netherlands (people are friendly, English is widely spoken, and I appreciate their focus on art and social ethics).

Would love to hear yours!

Thanks a ton!!

Trauma, childhood depression and abusive parents mean I only recently learned that when people are sad, they do something about it. My therapist asked me what I do when I'm sad and upset. I really do nothing, its too overwhelming. What do you do when you're sad?

edit: thanks for all the responses so far. I've actually realized that coping isn't supposed to be a thing that fights whatever you're feeling or going through..I don't know why but it always just seemed like for other people they do a thing to feel better then they're fine. which I'm sure is true for some but not most.

For me it's recreational fishing from a small craft, a popular hobby in our area.

I've seen some stunning things while out in my kayak, I've caught and processed and cooked extremely well-received meals for my extended family and close friends, and I could go on about it for a long time.

There's a fun story (I'm told) about how this happened and I would like to hear similar ones from other people who picked up other pastimes that they didn't grow up with, or perhaps did but they simply didn't catch on.

Edit: Just wanted to thank everyone one who responded. It feels better after sharing it with someone and that it kind of resonated with so many of you. I also want to apologize if my post triggered some negative thoughts too, it was never my intention. Thanks again!!

I am writing this just after a usual burst of crying I did few minutes ago. I am in late 20s and doing well in my career. My dad and mom are in their late 50s and live far away from me. My dad is diabetic and mom is going through some combination of severe depression, anxiety and physical body pain. They live alone. We were never financially well but things are better now.

I always had this sadness inducing thought that one day both of them will pass away. But in last few years, it has been overwhelming dealing with it. I randomly burst into tears sometimes or at times late at night find myself going through some random facts like percentage of survival after first heart stroke, a new diabetic remission treatment, depression leading to Alzheimer's and so on.

The sadness lingers and I do try to mitigate it by doing some work, or something else. But it comes back to me. Especially when I talk to them over the phone, the sadness is often so overwhelming that I am not able to cheerfully talk to them. Then, I feel even more sad that I couldn't be cheerful for them.

I procrastinate a lot at my work. My guitar sulks in the corner. Countless other things I want to do, but I am never able to go out and do them. I live in another country and I know I am privileged to. But I don't even to get to enjoy much. Some sort of sadness always lingers in the backdrop.

I have not shared this with anyone, so just wanted to do it here.

I’ve reached the point in my life where I think I would benefit from talking to a professional. But I’ve never had to find one before and I have no idea how to vet them.

My insurance is good so cost shouldn’t be an issue. Any idea where to start?

Redding California property manager fired after posting on Reddit that he used ex-tenant mail-in ballots to vote for Donald Trump

A California landlord was reportedly fired after bragging on Reddit about using ballots belonging to his previous tenants to vote multiple times for Donald Trump.

In the now-deleted post made to Reddit, user Mancow2000 claimed to have submitted four ballots in Shasta County to vote for Trump and to vote "no" for rent control and school bond measures, as reported by Action News Now.

The user, identified as 70-year-old Charles Pierce, was fired from his job as the landlord of an apartment complex in Redding after several users reported his account for voter fraud and mail fraud to the FBI.

Pierce said in a statement to Action News Now that the entire situation has been "blown out of proportion" and that he "did not engage in any illegal activities."

The Shasta County Clerk and Registrar of Voters said that the allegations are being investigated, and that Pierce's case has been turned over to the District Attorney's Office.

"I've never seen a situation like this where someone actually went onto a social media site and basically bragged about it," Shasta County Clerk Tom Toller told Action News Now. "Our job is to make sure that the integrity of the vote is preserved, that we try to make sure we aren't counting fraudulent ballots."

No charges have been filed yet, however District Attorney Stephanie Bridgett told the outlet that her office is considering criminal charges.

The FBI declined to comment on the situation to Action News Now.

Screen capture of the new deleted Reddit comment.

In other articles about this story Pierce claims he made a fictional comment just to anger people he was in a pissing contest with on Reddit and he has agreed to be interviews.

Either trauma they inflicted, stuff they neglected or didn't teach you.

I'm late 40s and struggling with my marriage of nearly 2 decades. Through therapy and self reflection over the past 2 years I have come to the conclusion that I am done, for many reasons.

However, we have 3 teens who are very, very active. We travel all over our area and sometimes other states to their competitions. We are so incredibly busy.

We also live in a very expensive area. There is no way we could afford two separate households that would have space needed for three teens.

I really can't stand my spouse anymore and wish to formally separate but I have turned this situation over and over and cant figure out a solution. How would custody work? I think they'd hate to have to spend 50% of their time in some random apartment, in fact, I think they would refuse. And how would we we divide and conquer their activities? The usual alternating weekend thing wouldn't work, we are almost always spread across their competitions.

All of this to say, anyone out there gone down this road? I'm so worried about adding the chaos of a split to our already chaotic life. But I also cannot fathom another five years with this person.

I feel like I've always drifted along. I just took the jobs I could get, never really went for anything, never really knew what I wanted with my life. I remember I used to watch what other people did to try and figure out how to "act normal," and I'm not sure I ever stopped doing that completely. I think it pulled me away from figuring myself out. Definitely prone to depression, but I tried meds and therapy for years and nothing ever seemed to shake it. I think it's just the way I am.

And now... I'm in a mediocre-paying job that I don't really care about. I can afford to split rent with my partner, but could never afford to buy or to rent a place on my own. I have a wide variety of interests, but have never been focused enough to get good at anything. I'm married and we're a good "partnership" in that sense, but it's been very "roommate" feeling lately. I'd like to improve that, but I don't even know where to start. I can't even put my finger on what's wrong really.

I feel like I kinda suck at everything. Like I have nothing to offer the world... or anyone, really. In my early 30s, I did try going for a few different things that I'd hoped would put me on a different track... and was summarily rejected from all of them, even a few volunteer gigs. I think I kinda gave up after that. Hitting 40 and living in a high achieving part of the country, my self-esteem is taking a real hit. And I just feel unsatisfied with my life.

My life is far from bad, so I'm not really willing to do ~anything~, you know? I've been legit poor and I neither want to be that again, nor do I have any kind of backup if I fuck up. I gotta pay my rent every month, you know? A lot of the stuff I'm interested in would require years of schooling and massive amounts of debt that the field itself would not be able to pay off this late in life. It's just not realistic. And the fields that do pay better sound miserable and I'm not interested at all.

Anyway. I will take advice or if anyone has stories about going from mediocre to great at 40+, I'll take it.

I am an adult now and growing up I was the least favored. I thought I have made peace with the past and have moved on from everything until recently when an older relative and I met up for coffee.

The older relative mentioned that one relative said that out they do not understand why my parents did not see me as an equal to my siblings, given that (according to them), I was the kindest and most down to earth among all of us. It was somewhat (but not really) a shock to me that they have observed this despite my parents parading their “affection” and “pride” for all their children. My parents wanted a picture perfect family and they always emphasized that, we are indeed a perfect family, in every chance possible. However, my mom always had something to say about me.

During the long conversation, the pain which I thought I have long forgotten all came flooding back all at once and the emotions were so hard for me. After the coffee meet up, I went to my parents’ house to have dinner with them (this was a pre planned dinner) and while everybody had conversations in the table, I looked at my parents’ faces, especially my dad, and I kept asking and repeating in my head, “Mom and Dad, why don’t you love me the same?”

It has been a few weeks and in quiet times of the day, I find myself crying. I feel that my chest is so tight and I just can’t stop hurting. I always counter my sad thoughts with “I am now in a good place with so much blessings so I have to let the past go.” But how can the past be considered the past when it is still my present?

I just wanted to share this here.

I've been residing here for over year now and here's what I have observed:

Power shuts down here sometimes for no reason, electricity here is faulty also the voltage in here is terrible like the lights here flickers and my appliances are cannot function properly, I'm starting to really get concerned about this and I usually thought about moving here was the biggest downside for the most part.

I can't stand how dreadful it is for me to realize that must have been the case in here, like how am I gonna suppose to live up like that? that's so unimaginable I can't bare that this is what living here must be like, it's so inconvenient, there is an instance also where this is constant and power doesn't usually return for weeks which is making things WORSE as I ever thought about, now that I have to keep in mind that I will be living like this for the rest of the year.

That's when I find it difficult to adjust in here I was, It was rough! how can I not be so bothered by this? I mean it's enough to make an ordinary person give up because of that, I simply can't help it but accept this kind of circumstance I certainly can't do anything else about it but to overcome it, I pretty much have to endure this for a living.

I struggle to live up with this kind of condition also, when lights go off it's so fucking dark out here I can't even see shit in here, this is when I realize I desperately needed a renewable light source like I'm constantly fazed by this, I ever worried about how faulty electricity is in here also, my appliances can't function properly I was certainly frustrated about this, I can't expect but rather find it unconventional here.

It worries me a lot to say at least now that I have to deal with this constantly, I don't expect a lot in here but I have no choice other than to live off in this environment, it sucks to live in here.

Happened to my wife and I a couple times this month.

"Wait, didn't they kick the bucket?"

"Uh..."

*rapidly types their name into Wikipedia

Late 30s guy, and despite numerous first dates in my life and constantly stating that I wanted to have a girlfriend, I’ve been single for nearly the entirety of my adult life due to reasons. I have more stability in my life now and have recently gone on some dates with a woman.

Basically every night of my adult life, I’ve come home and spent the rest of the night by myself watching TV and staring at my phone. Now, I find myself getting phone calls from this woman a couple of nights a week. You know, the type of phone calls from a great woman that I’ve supposedly been desperate for for over a decade …. and I’m having a very hard time giving attention to her without having thoughts of ending the call after 2 minutes so I can go back to watching TV or playing some dumb game on my phone.

I don’t think that the issue is with this woman herself. In my brief forays into dating over the past decade or so, I often found myself struggling to stay interested after the woman made it clear that she was interested in me.

Growing up, I was always the first to leave social gatherings so I could go home and watch TV by myself. On dates with her, that pattern is similar. I’m super excited to meet up with her, but after an hour or so, I miss being able to numb myself with technology.

I’m very much an extrovert. Had extensive psychological testing a few years ago and definitely not on the autism spectrum in any way. I love making people laugh. I’m very good at remembering what’s going on in the lives of my friends and coworkers and checking in to see how things are going. I got the best grades for impromptu speaking in my high school speech class. I’m very warm with cashiers, etc.

But actually spending time with or talking to one person for an extended period of time without escaping to the numbing power of technology?

Turns out that that’s very very difficult for me.

Would love to hear any thoughts or advice from anyone on how to be more present when I’m interacting with this woman.

I'm (32M) in a band, and we recently vetted a guy to play lead guitar for us. We're all pretty quiet, chill people. This guy was okay, but he has a very different lifestyle than us. He was talking about all the fights he's gotten in, he seems like a rough guy. We ultimately decided to pass on him, because he didn't fit the vibe of the band.

I think I can connect decently well with people of lots of different backgrounds. The thing I've realized though is that some people I just won't have chemistry with. I have my tribe of people that I get along really well with, and not everybody is going to fit that.

This also applies to dating. I used to be very open to dating women from all kinds of backgrounds, basically never ruling out anyone. Now though I feel like I have a much better sense of the kind of person I'd gel with. Some women I can immediately tell that any kind of relationship between us would be strained.

Part of me wants to be friends with everyone and get along with everyone, but the truth is that I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and they aren't going to be mine either. I think as you get older it's important to find your tribe and the people where interactions flow smoothly and easily.

What do you think?

I have a bowl of candy at work, but I'm boarding up the house and turning off the lights on Halloween. I just don't like the constant ding-dongs.

I ‘have’ a bestfriend from high school. I moved away for college and since, we are long distance. I feel like over the years, I’ve outgrown her a lot. Our lines of ideas, interests, views, priorities do not match in any ways. Sometimes I wonder how we even became friends. Probably, I was the introvert adopted by her. She’s also turned so narcissist, self centered, chases boys 24/4, turn our every conversations about them, and absolutely not a girl’s girl. That being said, I still value everything she did for me in the past. But I’ve ran out of patience. It feels so toxic to me now. She does have victim mentality, which is why I’m kind of scared to end it all in case she tries doing anything wrong. On top, she’s the only friend I introduced home, so even my family may question me about that.

Any help on how I can approach that, and end that would be appreciated

So, I’ve known this friend for over 14 years online. We grew up together. We’re about as close as you can get without ever having met each other. But in recent years, particularly after the pandemic and they’ve got their first full time job, they’ve gradually turned into more and more of a pretentious, hyper-competitive, ultra right-wing asshole. They use their job as justification to walk all over me at every possible opportunity.

They define their entire self worth through their job and working constantly. They mask their insecurity through bluster and going out of their way to start heated online arguments from nothing. And when I recently got an internship (which is practically guaranteed to turn into a full-time job), they downplayed it, and continued acting as if nothing I say matters because I don’t technically have a job. Like I’m still some petulant little child until then. It’s just exhausting, to be honest.

And this is all despite them coming from a privileged background where they were handed so many opportunities, yet squandered them all. They barely graduated college, lost scholarships, and got EXTREMELY lucky with their first job after school. They were desperately looking for six months because they spent so much time partying and being an Instagram influencer. On the other hand, I actually put in the work, but have been set back by factors largely outside my control. Unlike them, I don’t have financial support from my parents. It’s two radically different worlds.

Another example is when I’d post online about any sort of legitimate life achievement of mine. They’d then go out of their way to make some post similar to mine to get more likes/social media clout. They turn every aspect of life into this competition where they NEED to one up whatever I do and get validation. All of this, combined with very personal insults they’ve hurled at me in recent weeks (saying I’m an inferior human being, etc), ultimately has made me cut them off completely.

It just hurts quite frankly. It hurts realizing our entire friendship was predicated on them diminishing me to reinforce this idea that they’re an inherently superior person. It hurts because for many years, I genuinely thought this was someone I could confide in. I don’t have any family. My parents are unreliable and absent. I have very few friends I can actually trust and share interests with, and making new ones as an adult is harder than ever. Everyone just stays within their social clique from middle and high school.

There was recently a thread (not mine ) in /r/RedditForGrownups about how a person can have arteriosclerosis not knowing they do, doing everything to prevent it ( clean diet, exercise ).

Not everyone is going to read 117 comments, so I thought I would summarize some of the really interesting points here.

1. You can have significant arteriosclerosis, plaque buildup, without knowing it
2. Cholesterol tests are not a perfect predictor
3. Some people have a genetic predisposition to get blockages in their arteries, regardless if they exercise and eat well
4. Statins can help treat this.
5. A primary care doctor can order a calcium score test to help find out if this is a problem for you. It is about $100 without insurance. Based on those results your doctor can order further testing like a cardiac CT.
6. Vitamin K2 may help prevent plaque buildup in your arteries.

Hope this helps.

I may be moving soon, on somewhat of a last-minute basis. I've been thinking about it for a few months, and finally made my decision a few days ago, and so I went to go tour a new potential apartment yesterday that I really like. Upon returning home to my current place, I immediately went into action, and started packing up my own place, since (if I move) the move would be in about two to three weeks. Within about 90 minutes, I had already packed up a solid 40-50% of my current place. In theory, if I really wanted to, I could be out of this current place within the next 48-72 hours or so.

It felt SO refreshing! I was amazed at how much I was able to accomplish so quickly. My ex-husband, who I just divorced a year ago, was a legitimate hoarder. Our (now former) house was 4,200+ sq ft, and it took 6+ months to declutter, purge, clean, and pack up, and even then, it was down to the (literal) final hours, with me still having to clean/purge stuff during the final hour in the house, because he kept creating new messes, and he barely lifted a finger. "We" finished packing the house with only one hour to spare before the appointment for the sale of the house. I put "we" in quotation marks because it was really me that effectively did it all, with him (quite literally) screaming in my ear as I loaded final items onto the truck and final bags of trash on the curb.

I've been in my current place for the past twelve months, and while I've decorated and curated it to my own personal taste, I very much embraced minimalism. Now that I may be moving in the next few weeks, I thank myself for having embraced minimalism, because I'm not experiencing a crisis of sorts to try and pack up my home. A little bit each day goes a long way in terms of progress, as does maintaining a minimalist lifestyle, so that you can remain agile and nimble in the face of change throughout life. The older I get, the more I appreciate minimalism.

An extension of a dinner conversation with friends tonight. None of us are "young".

Any context. Mine is about the joke I overheard between Oedipus and Midas, it was motherfkn gold.

I live 5 mins walking distance from my Aunt and cousins family. They're nice. I often go there with my son. We were looking for a new apartment and there was one available right next to thier building. I didn't take it and chose another one which is 18mins walking distance. I didn't chose that one initially because my aunt had a rough dispute with neighbors kids(they destroyed the yard and her plants)that ended up in police showing up at her place. When i went with my son there today I noticed kids were playing on their side if yard and ignored my son. Even took ball from hands. They used to love to play with my son who is a toddler so they kinda cuddled and played nicely with him but not today. With this beef going on I didn't also wanted my son to play with one particular kid that called police on my aunt. I chose the apartment that was farther because I didn't want to be a part of some block drama but now after signing lease i feel bad because I think i should have moved closer to her and it would have been nice to have 3 houses/apartments that were family on same street and I could come whenever time at her place etc etc. My aunt live alone and her son and daughter in law next door. My aunt is nice but can very bossy at times. Ughh this heaviness in my heart is sinking me

What makes it so special to you, and why don't you just go to a supermarket or bulk-food store instead?

Hi everyone, My wife is away on a girls trip. I want to surprise her with something when she gets home. I don't want it to be anything basic like get her flowers. (already planning)There is no to do list at the moment. Any one have something they've done or received? Thank you!!