Hi, long time lurker. I'm an adult who was homeschooled, and I've found a good amount of solidarity on a certain sub for that demographic. But the dominant attitude among ex-homeschoolers there seems to be that they never would ever think about homeschooling their kids because of the trauma they experienced homeschooling. Even among ex-unschoolers; they feel unschooling is inherently neglectful, and "well your parents did it the wrong way!" doesn't cut it for them. That whole sub seems to worship public school.

My homeschooling experience was incredibly negative and traumatic, but I never experienced educational neglect like many of them did. I did Classical Conversations, homeschool forensics, and took concurrent college classes; I was always up to speed on math/science/English, got great standardized test scores, and transitioned just fine to college. This was true of many of my homeschooled classmates, too.

That's not to say I think my education was good; It was still toxically indoctrinating (Young Earth Creationism, right-wing religion and politics, etc), and I think I was really failed in history. But the greater barrier for me was what my education did to my motivation/drive: I felt like I was in a lowkey prep school, developed crippling perfectionism and procrastination very young, and burned out halfway through college (the pandemic didn't help).

Plus, I was absolutely steeped in the homeschool world's authoritarianism. So my response, both to 1) the arbitrary elitism and "hard work for its own sake" attitude of my education, and 2) the authoritarianism and indoctrination of homeschool curriculum and culture, was to become really attracted to free-range parenting and unschooling philosophies. I envied my public schooled friends for the small amounts of autonomy they had in their educations, but I envied my unschooled friend even more - she lived so freely, and still does, and she had and has a great relationship with her mom, whereas I felt, and still feel, so stilted, and my relationship with my parents will definitely never recover.

That friend is struggling academically now, though, and she believes, like the ex-unschoolers on that other sub, that she was educationally neglected. I think she wishes she'd been public schooled.

I'm far from ever having kids, but I guess I just wanted to open these thoughts to this community. On that other sub, I've started to wonder if my value system is an extremist trauma response, and might not be best for kids, if I ever have any. Just wondered if anyone, specifically unschooled children or adults who were unschooled as children, had thoughts/stories. Maybe democratic schooling is the best way to address both the concerns of ex-unschooled children and of authoritarianism in public schooling?

I was hoping to get some people to weigh in on diapers, though I’ve heard many people go diaper less and if you live in a city id like to hear from you too. I’d like to make reusable diapers a priority, what do I need to know, do I pre wash the diaper linings in the shower, or just throw them in separately? Any tips recommendations?

I just found out and wanted to say how happy I am. Hopefully I’ll be able to help remove generations of Stockholm syndrome from my family.

I’m interested in raising a family. Me and my partner want to have kids. My question is what should I mind, what should I think about, what are the ins and outs of being an anarchist.

Conundrum

For some context my child attends a small (12 children;mixed age 1st-3rd grade) outdoor immersion homeschool group. She is having a big birthday party turning 9 after years of no party because of Covid. She wants to invite all her friends from school except for one child whom she feels is not kind to her and other classmates. (He does have behavioral issues and is as she puts it a “ bully”) He is in therapy but still steals things and is destructive in his play while at school. Help me try to navigate inclusiveness but also respect her boundaries of whom she chooses to be surrounded by on her special day. Do kids learn they don’t get invited to things if they are assholes? Or are we being the jerks by excluding one kid? I am also a parent helper in her class making it extra hard for me to leave one child out. *edited for typo and more clarification

Hi! A recent discussion came up after I heard family members telling my child to call 911 if they need help(in reference of what to do if the house is on fire.....like....yes plz do not stop drop and roll or get out of the house just dial 911 and sit and wait). Anyway, it got me thinking on what to tell my child to do in an actual emergency that warrants calling for help. I have always assumed I would teach them my phone number and other family members numbers, but it’s proving difficult! My child is 4 and is not taking to numbers at all, and is too young for a cell phone with speed dial programmed. We have mastered my full name and their full name and our address(just the street name and the apartment number) but I was wondering if anyone knew of any similar short phone numbers that will not direct him to police?

While my child will always be afforded white privilege, we live and work in communities that can be harmed by police interactions and I want to be intentional in the ways I teach them to ask for help so that we are not harming those in our community.

Is this a dumb and very white mom thing to ask? I feel like it may be! And yes I have already googled and talked to my own community about this but was interested to see if anyone else had any ideas or resources you use to teach young children what to do in emergency situations that do not involve police.

Hey y'all,

First time poster here. I read about this group from a post on Anarchy101 about libertarian parenting.

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I have a 4yo boy who exhibits very defiant, rude and violent behavior at times. Even asking him to change his clothes can be a struggle that devolves into tantrums, power conflict and hitting. My wife and I are trying to figure out how to deal with all of it. One of the things we both struggle with is controlling our own emotions when he is acting out and not reacting in a harsh way.

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Many times my frustration and anger leads me to act out by yelling and enacting harsh consequences. Acting this way really conflicts with my values as a person and a parent, which gets me down.

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I studied psychology in college, so I understand generally the sort of things I should be doing to be a good parent: modeling good behavior, adopting an authoritative style with both love and limits, etc. I also realize that I am the adult who should be in control of his emotions and model appropriate responses to my son, but I'm struggling.

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We are going to be reaching out to his pediatrician so we can get help in dealing with this. I worry about where that road will lead, but we are at the end of our rope in this matter.

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How do you as a conscious radical parent deal with extreme negative behavior in your child? How do you keep your cool when they are acting up? What do you do to keep yourself from giving in to authoritarian parenting impulses when they strike?

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Thanks in advance for your thoughts, words and for being as non-judgmental as possible.

Sorry if this is a common question!

Is the radicalparenting.com website still active? I just read Vanessa Van Petten’s (Edward’s) book “do I still get my allowance...” and am looking for the site.

Thanks! Kevin

I know this sub doesn't get a lot of traffic, so if you are reading this and it is an old post, please know I am still interested in your opinion on this.

So, I love psychedelics. They were a huge positive influence on my emotional and psychological development -- I often think they may have saved my life, or at least saved me from being somebody who would have hated themselves and hated their life. I feel very strongly about this, and I even think there is quite a bit of scientific basis to the benefits of psychedelics, and I've long said that I think they should be a part of every person's coming of age and continued mental well being.

And, as I type this, my three young kids aren't such young kids anymore. They're becoming teenagers. One of them is well past the age I was when I started doing psychedelics (though, to be honest, I did start a little too young probably). And I would like to talk to my kids about it. I think my oldest could really benefit from them, and that, frankly she is missing out by not having them be part of her development.

But I don't know what to do. I mean, there's a custody situation with their mom that this could cause to go very sideways, but that's not even the heart of the issue. The heart of the matter is that I don't understand psychedelic usage in the framework of parent and child. For me it was something my friends and I got into -- my parents knew about it, they even facilitated it at times, but I didn't do it with them and they weren't the ones who taught me about it. So, I worry that a parent introducing a child to psychedelics might warp the dynamic of the experience for the child in a potentially negative way. But maybe there is a way to do so where that isn't the case.

Anyway, that's the situation. I'm not sure what the best course of action is here. Any advice, thoughts, or even reading suggestions on the topic would be quite welcome.

I’m here to announce a new sub some of you may be interested in, bringing the kids in the kitchen. At r/kidkitchen we are all about teaching life skills early. Kids love the kitchen; they can explore, experiment, and create while making a supervised mess! If you are interested in learning what your kid can do or if you already have your kid helping in the kitchen, come join us and share your experiences.

Hello Mums! We are final year students at the University of Liverpool and we are running a study looking at infant feeding practices, maternal mental health and weight gain. If your baby is aged between 6 to 12 months and was born at term gestation (37 weeks or over), please take 10 minutes to complete this online survey …. Your response will be completely anonymous and you will have the chance to win Amazon vouchers after completing the study. Thank you! https://livpsych.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6LPJxmkD5eSGwkJ

Hi /r/radicalparenting!

I just want to post a quick update on the research recruitment study that we posted here!

Since posting the study, we've had over 600 men participate in the survey, some of them from this sub! That is an amazing turnout! It truly brings me great happiness that men and parenting is getting a huge amount of attention!

We are still short of our target number in our attempts to study how to support fathers and their children and spouse. If you or if you know any dads that fit the criteria, please consider taking or forwarding the study!

Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/radicalparenting/comments/60yvpc/dads_we_need_your_thoughts_on_parenting_please/

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me or comment below. I'll try my best to get back to you!

Hello!

My name is David Nguyen and I am a doctoral student in the Counseling Psychology program at Lehigh University, completing my dissertation on men and parenting, under the guidance of Dr. Christopher Liang. This online survey should take approximately 20 to 25 minutes to complete and has been approved by Lehigh University’s Institutional Review Board (IRB Protocol #1005276-3).

You are eligible to participate in this study if:

(1) You are at least 18 years of age or older.

(2) You identify as a heterosexual male.

(3) Your oldest child is between the ages of 5 to 12 years of age.

(4) You are living with your oldest child

(5) You are not single or widowed

It is our hope that participating in this study will allow you to reflect on your experiences as a father for your children. This study may help us understand what motivates men to be a parent and what services can be provided to help men be a parent.

If you agree to participate in this study, you will be routed to an online survey consisting of several measures varying in length. Total expected completion time is approximately 20-25 minutes. Additionally, you will be able to designate one dollar ($1) to one of selected charities that help children or support men in parenting their children.

Should you choose to participate, please click the link below to begin the survey (alternatively, you can copy and paste the following web address into your browser):

https://lehigh.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3qsVBQujZbWoMmN

Feel free to forward this call to other eligible individuals.

I would like to thank you again for your time and consideration. Please direct any questions or concerns you may have to me at dan313@lehigh.edu, or Dr. Christopher Liang at ctl212@lehigh.edu, or Lehigh University’s Institutional Review Board.

Thank you to /u/pnoque for approving this post!

Whenever I get kids I won't indulge them in the consumer aspect of the holidays. I am unsure about whether it's cool to lie about Santa. It seems a little cruel? It would make them not trust me. But then again, it's kinda cool that they learn not to trust you completely and not be so gullible.