Kind of demi... kind of asexual but I don't dislike sex. Definitely demiromantic. But I get bored with sex, I can feel sexual attraction to a partner I know and have romantic attraction to but only in the beginning. I just... stop wanting sex but still feel strong romantic attraction. I feel aesthetic attraction to people of any gender I know or don't without feeling aroused. When I masturbate my mind is usually blank. When I watch porn it's kink but I don't really like hetero sex in it.

Sexually agnostic. Maybe sex exists maybe it doesn't lol.

So how the **** do you even say this? Google's robot was ever so helpful. Quo-ih or quo-ee?

Normally if the people ask me about my sexuality I said asexual, because I don't find people atractive but if they ask me how u Know that person is not sexy i can't said it, or when people ask me what is sexual atracction i just think: I don't know, and i ask many times what is sexual atracction and i got it in that moment and i said yes I don't get that, but I forget it lately, its just why sexual atracction is so weird.

I'm u/aceandenby's new account and when I left I assume Reddit automatically set this subreddit to restricted, so I've finally gotten round to asking Reddit politely to get control back and unrestrict this place. Anyway, things are back to normal now.

Edit: also just so you know you should be able to edit flairs now

The results have been published for the survey I shared here a couple of months ago. There's also a separate post with the results from only those who identify as quoisexual. Someone from Reddit asked to be notified of the survey results via social media, so whoever you were, anonymous respondent, I hope you'll see this! Perhaps the results will be interesting for some other folks too. :)

hey (14m)-so i know i’m attracted to girls romanticly-though i’m really awkward at this and also sexually-but never been in a proper relationship with a girl. idk about guys tho-like i’ll sometimes fantasise about kissing a boy in my class-but would never want to have sex with any boy-but then again thinking about it did ‘arose’ me-can’t think of a better word ik it sounds cringe-like i want to coudle with a boy and kiss him-but idk if it’s sexual or if idd like it at all or if maybe idd like to kiss in a romantic way but not in a sexual way. i just don’t know and confused. thanks so much any feedback appreciated-all just tell me if i’m in the wrong place-tysm

I (15M) find both genders beautiful, but I think that I prefer men more than women.I have a sneeze fetish but I'm very very aroused to male sneezes and I've just began to have very slight sexual attraction to men. Also, I've never been in a relationship or had a crush on someone, so I don't know what's my romantic orientation. I find kissing a woman boring/unintersting but I want to be cuddled by a man(sometimes I prefer half naked),sleep next to him kiss each other. When I watch a straight movie, I'm more inclined to be attracted to a beautiful man more than a beautiful woman. I don't know what romantic love feels like as I've never approched someone( I wish I do!) but emotionally, I like making friends with both genders. All the time my fantasies are about: -Being a gay man . -Being a bi women, but she realizes she prefer men more after loving a very cute man.

All this just started after a year ago, and I don't know if this gonna change when I get older. Please help me :c

It looks like there's one quoi soap left on Cat and Raven's shop https://catandravendesigns.com/products/quoi-quoisexual-pride-flag-soap?_pos=1&_sid=b2d36080a&_ss=r They made that mini-batch by my request so I'm really happy they did. It's been there for a little while, and I'd be happy to buy the last one for the someone here. I'll give it to the first person who asks as long as it's still in the shop. I guess post here that you'd like it and pm me a shipping address to have it sent to : )

I’ve seen this term once or twice now and simply thought it a similar way of saying you are “uncertain” due to your inability to understand the attractions. (Quite common).

I have seen many people who do not understand because of lack of knowledge, inability to feel the emotion personally and other areas that seemed like they would all fit.

My issue is the way people seem to be using it and way of “describing themselves” alongside this and other terms that seem to confuse me and in some cases come off as invalidating in the ACE Spectrum.

Though this may not be your community directly perhaps you can help me to understand it better as it maybe my misunderstanding and I don’t want to invalidate others.

Please understand this is not meant to invalidate but understand even if it comes across ignorant. It’s also gonna be a book, my apologies.

People seem to short hand this label with their label. For example quoisexual and asexual being quoi-asexual or quoi-ACE being that they do not know “sexual attraction well”.

While it comes off a bit redundant in that the definition “quoisexual” (as opposed to quoiromantic) would cover that (being under the umbrella of ACE), perhaps it’s a way of questioning if they are “really asexual”?

My understanding of ACE spectrum (as shown on diagram here) is that all definitions are “asexual” then separated. If they are uncertain if they ARE asexual as they cannot understand sexual this would also make sense.

The issue I’m having is people using VARIOUS ACE labels and “degrees” of sexual attraction that come across invalidating to the naked eye.

For example. One person uses both “quioACE” and quioDemi”. Super redundant as “Demi” is ACE and everything they would question would be covered under “quio-Demi”. Zero harm here if you do not understand the labels well, but am I missing something where such a split is needed?

In this case, Demisexual is a very specific label, so if they are uncertain if they feel sexual attraction of course there would be confusion. Though technically they could be “Graysexual” if they aren’t sure, I believe this is a perfect use of this label because they have a reason to believe Demi in particular and the particular reason they are unsure is crystal clear with their Quoisexual label.

My biggest issue is that people have been using “quoi” almost like a competition and in ways that do not fit the definition (even when you leave interpretation open). I don’t know if I am misunderstanding it or if people are misusing it/trying to use it as a “pass” for ignorance when they DO understand a label works or doesn’t.

For example (have not seen this exact example just using an extreme one): using “quoiDemi” to say “Demisexual alone isn’t enough” as opposed to “I am unsure”. If they were to say “I’m quoiDemi. I feel sexual attraction most of the time but when I have an emotional bond the “act” feels better”, and upon further speaking to the person found they had a CLEAR understanding of the various attractions and the quote above stands as it is read this obviously comes off VERY invalidating to the Demi community who can ONLY feel sexual attraction in this manner and it have nothing to do with libido, which this person understands but still tries to claim “quoi” covers “the difference”. I feel as though this person is grossly misusing “quoi sexual” but would like to understand if that is in fact the case.

There are times where people seem to be using it to “measure” the their understanding of various attraction levels as opposed to “not understanding” them, which maybe the same reason for the above issue. Like they say they are “quoi-Ace” because they feel non-sexual 80% of the time. After speaking to them they are confusing “not wanting to have sex, sexual attraction and libido” which is perfectly normal and makes since why they would use “quoi-ACE” if they have any doubt that lust/libido = sexual attraction do to not being able to tell. The issue being that they “grade” the labels and as quoisexual is not well known in the community as a whole both sides may feel invalidated if it’s not clear.

If someone who understands the attractions read (without context as perhaps they didn’t use the quoi label) I’m 80% ACE and do to how often I feel “non-sexual” they may clarify non-sexual OR take it to mean this person feels sexual attraction 20% of the time. understanding they may suggest they are in a specific part of the spectrum (like gray) which may come across ignorant/invalidating to the quoisexual person.

If a person who may or may not understand attraction levels reads it they may feel that you can be “partially non-sexual” (which is true in all cases of attraction) and think incorrectly that “quoi” is “partial” which is actually how I found the term as that seems to be how people who are questioning seem to be using it most often.

For example “I could have no sexual attraction/Some sexual attraction/Normal sexual attraction so I COULD be all 3 labels”. The term quoisexual alone or even QuoiACE could cover this but this person chooses to “measure” them like an American with ethnicity. 30% Black label ACE, 20% Demi, 40% Gray, 10% Allo (again have never seen it to THIS extent, a VERY extreme example) and can come across to the reader like saying you are 30% Gay/lesbian, 20% Bi, 40% Pan and 10% straight. As a personal feeling of course it makes sense, as someone questioning and explaining it makes sense, but putting it out there without proper explanation could lead to people interpreting it VERY poorly especially since labels are so personal to some it may come across not taking the readers feeling seriously. An argument is likely as to why not use “ACE/Gray or Pan” as it covers all the feelings.

Lastly, and most importantly is it offensive to try and explain the various attractions to one who labels themselves Quoisexual? Obviously there are those who have tried and failed to understand the attractions, and may not be able to for one reason or another, but would it be offensive to try? Like not sit there and lecture but drop links for resource (like threads with the definition and people discussing how they finally understood).

The way your label is written sounds like it could go either way. I don’t want to have them feel I am trying to force them to learn Quantum Physics, but at the same time I don’t believe it impossible to understand the terms or each other even if the understanding of the terms is not 100%.

[TW : s€x, 4rous4l]
Hi there,

I going through an intense identity crisis and had to share this with y'all because I find it linked with all my confusions while I begin to see clearer.

Disclaimer tho : I only relate about my own feelings and by no means think this is more general than me but if it makes sense also to you that's cool !

My first sexual thoughts and signs of arousal have been to imagine myself as a woman. Even if this is not so uncommon I always took it lightly, but since it hasn't faded and still is a big thing to me I began to dig deeper and try to connect about what are my feelings about arousal or sex. I find women attractive, but when I think of it, it's not like I want to act anything or even see more sexual characteristics of them. I feel it's like I like it very much, i'm triggered and aroused but leading no desire for any sex activity or relations. I get aroused by seeing or feeling things, and even if this can be disconnected from one particular individual or sex activity I don't really consider this as sexual attraction (could it be tho ? that's what confuses me)

I feel there is something bigger under this, I think what I find attractive or what arouses me is the feeling of female characteristics, not as if I would want to do anything (still cuddles tho) or at least sexual to the target of attraction. I think I appreciate, on a self physical level these caracteristics and want to feel them, I want them. And I can't and that leads to frustrated kind of arousal, which is why I don't want to act on it. I feel like my whole life has been a lie and what I thought were sexual attractions before I realised I was ace were in fact just internalised desire not for sex but projected gender euphoria on someone. I mean it may seem far-fetched but i can't get ir off my head I makes so much sense now !

Had to share idk what are your thoughts about it ?

Very annoying :0