Hello, queerplatonic community, I’m here to explain what's been going on lately. To keep it brief: my friend (whom we’ll call Blue) and I have been talking a lot over the past few months. We've spent time voice chatting, playing video games, and just generally getting along really well. Here’s the thing: over the last three months, I’ve developed feelings for Blue, but I honestly can’t tell if I'm feeling queerplatonic feelings or romantic feelings. I'll try to explain as best I can. I’d like to hold their hand, kiss them, and cuddle them if we meet in person—but in a platonic way. I also sometimes want to experience romantic aspects with them, though I still want to maintain our friendship above all else. We've already talked about our worries, so communication is covered. We're also planning to do a queerplatonic checklist to figure out what we're comfortable with, in case this relationship develops further. Another thing to note is that Blue is gray aroace. I don’t really know much about queerplatonic relationships, which is why I decided to make an anonymous account to post this. I’d really appreciate it if someone could help me understand what I’m feeling and the terms for those feelings, since I know there are different nuances within queerplatonic relationships. Thank you for reading. :)

Basically, me and my online friend have been chatting for months. This morning, I confessed to them that I've had a crush on her. She's muslim, and I'm afab (pangender) so she said its haram, but we can be in a qpr. Any tips for being in a qpr?? Idk if there are any rules or guidelines since I can't find anything online.

Can someone be in multiple qpr's or would it be seen as cheating -like in romantic (and/or sexual) relationships?

so this guy i've been talking to / mutually crushing on (not in a labeled relationship but certainly more than friends), brought up the fact he's in a qpr with someone. perhaps i'm overthinking and am just unaware of how qprs function- but is this something i should've been made aware of? how does a qpr work? i don't want to be stressing over nothing :)

38 yr old single, straight and child-free woman living in rural eastern KY. I only earn about 35k a year right now, but I'm in the process of going back to school for cyber security or IT, so I hopefully won't be quite so poor someday. My short-term goals are to purchase 5 - 10 acres of land here in rural KY and have a 2 bed, 2 bath barndominium built, and finish out the building myself with some help, to try to keep costs lower. You can have your own bedroom and bathroom, you can go out whenever you like. I'm a night owl, so staying out late wouldn't bother me at all. I have one cat, and would like to get a couple of dogs, so pets are welcome, including animals other than cats and dogs. We could have chickens and a garden with raised beds, there is SO much we could do, separately and together, if you also are looking for a companion or friend. It's very quiet and peaceful out here, and its also mostly very safe here, and the scenery is to die for, I could take some videos to let you see what I'm talking about, it is GORGEOUS here. My only requirement is you must be willing to relocate here to KY, I ain't leaving these mountains, LOL. I'd be willing to sign a contract or pre-nup. I don't really drink, but have zero issues with someone who drinks occasionally or socially. I'm 4/20 friendly, relatively laid back and quiet, and I think I'm pretty easy to get along with. Anything I haven't mentioned that you'd like to know, please feel free to ask. If this sounds like a situation you might be interested in, and you're looking to live your best cottagecore life in the middle of picturesque central Appalachia, holler at your girl! Cue the banjo music, LOL

Straight woman but confused Ace looking for a gay man that is comfortable. You can be whatever you want and be as gay as your want. For more details DM me. Lots of love.

Ever since I learned about QPRs a couple years ago, I've been embracing the act of processing my romantic attraction as well as my queerplatonic attraction

And even though any relationship can be formed under both attractions, I personally found a difference within myself as to who I'd see as a romantic partner and who I'd see as a QPP (in regards to preferences and types)

Yet because of this revelation, I'm not sure if I want a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship

Somtimes, I'd just want a singular romantic partner or singular queerplatonic one. But other times i'd just want both

I know if I have a monogamous partner on either, I'd have to fantasize about the other. Which is nothing wrong with that

But I have to really think about if this is all I'm comfortable and satisfied with, or do I want more

I know I'm applying too much pressure on myself. I'm young, and have lots of time to explore and try different things out and see what works for me

But idk, it's just something that's been on my mind. And I just felt like venting out

I’m like 87% sure that I’ve had a squish on my online friend for about a year now, we’ve been friends for about 5 years at this point, we’ve met up in person, they gave me some souvenirs they got on a family trip ages ago, some oil for my wrist pain and a friendship bracelet that they promised to give me years ago and we talk on a fairly consistent basis. Yesterday we did a video call all night to catch up on my trip to a convention since our weekly calls were put off for a bit, but anyways I at least know we’re both somewhere on the aroace spectrum since we’ve both been in a qpr before. I helped them work through their old one since there was a lot of layers for that but for some reason recently I feel like we’ve gotten closer.

They’ve reached out to me to talk about very sensitive situations and mental health stuff for advice which is an honor since they’re the kind of person to bottle everything up so they can prioritize others and I think they’ve improved a lot in that area, or they’re only like this with me. They’re going through it rn because of seasonal depression so I feel like I could accidentally take that vulnerability for granted but I think I might want to be in a QPR with them. I kind of doubt that they reciprocate at the moment, but do you think it’d be worth trying? If so how could I even go about testing the waters since we are both aware of the concept?

Hey, so I F23 recently found out my friend f20 is asexual and questioning if they are on the aromantic spectrum. I am aroace. We get along super well and have the same views on kissing, sex and dating. I want to approach being in a QPR with her but I don't know where to start. Please help.

Could two people be dating each other and one veiws the relationship as romantic and the other thinks of it as a qpr-while still recognizing the other person thinks of the relationship as romantic?

I used to think for a while that the term queerplatonic may be stigmatizing but now I view it in a neutral way as “platonic in a special and extraordinary way”.

Experiencing something untypical or having untypical relationships is often normal anyway.

hi so i have been online friends with this really cool person in a fandom server for about 3 months and i think i want a qpr with them. We are both 26, aroace autistic and have some stuff in common but i also have borderline personality disorder. Idk if what im feeling is wanting a deeper connection or just fixation bcoz of the autism.

I think about them a lot, i love talking to them, i choose my words carefully like im trying to impress them. I get happy when they complement me or whenever they talk to me. I get jeal when i see them online but talking to someone else and not me. Like i wany their attention but also i want to give them all the attention they deserve.

The thing is, they also don't reply ro me as fast or talk as much as i do. They like me as a friend yes but idk if they would want sth deeper. Im afraid that if i suggested a qpr now they reject me it will make our friendship awkward. Or if they accept, my bpd will act up and feel insecure.

I tried to get closer to them even as just friends but it always seems like there is an invisible wall between us that they are keeping up all the time.

If anyone here who also autistic and has BPD can help me that would be great bcoz im completely lost especially that sometimes i just feel nothing towards them until i see their name and again go insane about them.

Thanks 💜

I made a a qpr braclet charm what do y'all think

How come if two hetero men get into a queerplatonic relationship, they're still considered straight,

Yet if two men get together in a romantic relationship, it's always gonna be considered gay, bi, pan, or omni unless one of them is a woman?

Like I still want to be in a relationship, but I kinda just want the intimacy of cuddling and being close to someone. I already don’t really like people super close to me unless it’s more than friends.. So I was just wondering how I’d go about it? I don’t really have a preference of male or woman, I just really want that connection and the only way for me specifically to do it is a relationship. Granted that means I don’t want anything like sex or anything close to that.. I’m just wondering how to do that in the dating scene and if it’s possible to explain that to a partner? I tried to ask on another sub and was pointed towards here for better understanding!

I've never been in a romantic relationship

Yet I've felt romantic attraction towards lots of people. And have even attempted to ask some of them out

But honestly, I'm scared of romance. I hate the pressure, expectations, and intense emotions that usually apply to it

That's why I seem to be more open and comfortable to the idea of Hookups, FWBs, or QPRs.

Because there aren't as much societal expectations, less pressure and less intense emotions involved.

(At least that's how I personally view them. I've never been in a QPR, FWB, or hookup)

Not saying there aren't any emotions involved with those other dynamics.

It's just that romantic attraction tends to make me feel desperate or irrational, from years of being a hopeless romantic, to disappoinments from rejection

Meanwhile I feel my more laid-back and calm with the idea of QPRs and being in one

I know romance isn't inherently the problem

Romantic relationships don't have abide by set expectations, intense emotions, pressure, etc...

But that's how I've processed romance throughout my entire life. In a sorta all-or-nothing, happily ever after type of love

Therefore it felt refreshing once I learned about QPRs for the first time. That doesn't portray love as anything but it's most authentic form

I've been going to therapy for this. But I still want to know your thoughts and opinions on the matter

I want to embrace both romantic and queerplatonic relationships in all their glory. It's just been hard for me lately

We met online and used to text regularly for a bit more than a month and then they just stopped replying, they texted me once this past week saying they were busy and sorry for not texting but they didn't text me back after that even though I reached out bc I thought even if they don't reply they'll read it and know I'm there for them. But again they just didn't text back for days and then one text saying sorry and that they haven't been on insta much but these past few days they have been active more, I texted them yesterday asking if they wanted to chat but they asked if I was free in a bit and I said probably but then they never replied to it. Idk what to do because it doesn't take long to send one text in the span of days

I've been trying to search for a QPR for a while now but it's extremely hard to find, let alone spaces in which to look :(

I've tried out AceSpace but to no one's surprise most people there are alloace and want a romantic relationship. I'd like a QPR exactly because it's not romantic but while still having that physical/sensual affection. It just feels impossible to find because as far as I'm aware there basically doesn’t exist any spaces for aro folks or people who want a QPR.

Does anyone know any spaces you can look for a QPR aside from AceSpace ( or bumble bff since that's not available in my country )?

i have a really close friend that I've been sort of curious about entering a qpr with, but I've never done it before + im not sure if asking would be worth the risk if they aren't interested? we both agreed that we already kind of have the dynamic of a qpr (albeit in a half-joking way), so i feel like I would still be satisfied if we just stayed best friends; but I think i have some sort of alterous attraction to them, so it sometimes feels like i want to be closer than just besties with them?

anyways, those of you who have gone from friends to qpps, what about the relationship changed for you, and how did you handle those changes with your partner(s)?

My partner (25f) and I (28f) were together for 7 years and recently I broke up with them. We started monogamous for a few years, then opened it to having other sexual partners (no dating tho). We had a lot of struggles with intimacy that gradually broke down the relationship, and bled into further struggles with even physical affection like kissing/cuddling.

They are still one of the most important people in my life, and I truly can't imagine life without them. They have said that they would never be able to be "just friends" with me and would have to go no contact, but that they would be open to discussing an alternate relationship model with sex off the table entirely. They would however still want a "romantic" relationship with me, but to have a polyamourous dynamic, so truly dating and having full relationships with other people.

I like ENM, but I do not identify as poly. I don't want to have multiple relationships, and I struggle with jealousy when those kinds of things come up. I've been looking more into qpp's as I think about what that relationship might look like, but honestly I'm not sure if I want a romantic aspect with them, but if I don't concede to some form of that then I'll lose them entirely.

I am really struggling with even knowing what the line is between platonic and romantic. Everything I read on qpp's is like... it's basically whatever the hell you want it to be. I do have a friend that, if we ever bothered to define it, would probably be a qpp, in that we are very close emotionally, share physical affection/have sex, but have no interest in a romantic relationship, so that's kinda my point of reference in all of this.

TLDR: Either we have a poly-romantic qpp, or we never see each other again. I want my partner in my life, but am not sure if I want the romance or can handle the poly, and am not sure how to tell the difference between romantic/platonic, or how to figure out where my boundaries would be. I'm worried this is just going to be another bandaid on a failing relationship.

Any advice or similar experiences? Examples of what falls under romance?

Edit: Idk why I thought the acronym was QPP just pretend I used QPR 🤦‍♀️

Just a short sad statement my qpp left me. They said it wasn't my fault but I don't believe them. I think that I did too much and they didn't tell me and they ended up leaving just like ever other romantic and nom romantic relationship I've ever been in. I'm kinda distraught I was really happy with them.

I don't know if I'm a jerk or anything, but I just learned of this term just now.

So me this person dated or something before for almost a year, but stuff happened yadda yadda, I love the person, want to be with them for a long time, but I didn't feel like intense romantic feelings or anything, as I identify as aroace, but I really do love this person in a non romantic way, yet more than simple friendship. The thing is, were still close friends and they are open to me that they still have romantic feelings for me nonetheless, and can't imagine anything else.

I want the same but without romance

Aughh am I a weirdo

I'm new to this whole queerplatonic thing, would I technically be queerplatonic? What should I do in this situation. Like what is appropriate choice of action?