/r/puns Rules:

why did the F1 driver rejoined F2? Because he wanted to rename a selected file

It’s called Spitting Images.

I used to manscape with a straight razor.

I don't have the balls to do that anymore.

I threw a ball for my dog....

Extravagant, I know!

But, he looks amazing in a tuxedo.

A man goes to a Chinese restaurant and after looking over the menu, he tells the waiter, "I think I'll have the steamed dumplings as an appetizer, the hot and sour soup as my second course, and the orange chicken as my entree."

"Excellent choice! Just wait until you try our dumplings", says the waiter and hustles off to the kitchen to place his order.

In a few minutes, the waiter returns with the dumplings. They look and smell amazing and, sure enough, they are as delicious as promised.

Finishing the last dumpling, the man tells the waiter, "Those might have been the most delicious dumplings I've ever eaten!"

"Thank you, so much!" says the waiter. "We've always taken great pride in preparing our food and giving our customers the best dining experience money can buy. Just wait until you try the soup."

The waiter leaves the table and quickly returns with a large bowl of their signature hot and sour soup.

Once again, the soup looks appetizing, smells amazing, and tastes even better.

Slurping up the last drop, the man tells the waiter, "You were right! That was the best hot and sour soup I've ever had in my life."

Smiling widely, the waiter says, "Thank you so much! It's a family recipe that has been handed down for several generations. Just wait until you try our orange chicken."

The waiter leaves the table and returns with a large, covered crock and sets it down in front of the man.

"So sorry," says the waiter, "I forgot to bring the silverware. I will return shortly," and hurries back into the kitchen.

This time, the waiter doesn't return as quickly as before. A few minutes pass and the man, wanting to at least be able to see and smell his highly anticipated meal, reaches toward the lid of the crock. However, before his hand reaches the handle, one side of the lid slowly raises a bit, stays there a few seconds, then rapidly falls with a *clank*.

Shocked, the man jerks his hand away, trying to process what he just saw.

A few seconds later, just as before, the lid slooooowly raises a bit, stays open, then falls again.

*CLANK*

At about that time, the waiter hurries back to the table, silverware in hand.

"I'm so sorry to take so long," the waiter says. "Our dishwasher quit this morning and all our silverware was dirty so I had to..."

"Never mind all that," says the man, cutting the waiter's story short. Pointing to the crock he says, "Just watch."

As if on cue, the lid slowly raises and falls again.

*CLANK*

The waiter says, "My mistake. You ordered the orange chicken."

"That's the peking duck."

Running a 5k at our local strawberry festival. What are some good strawberry themed team names??

What's about the hype for circles? Pointless