Dad dying from brain cancer, already can’t use him as the amazing resource he was, smartest man ever, he’s 70, I’m Afghan vet 36. My compass is broken

I’m a former correctional officer, sheriff, hospital worker. From violence, to suicide, self harm, overdoses, to abortions, I’ve unfortunately seen it all. I’m not claiming my experiences are the worst, only that I have my share. I was also the go to guy most of my career. I’ve handled it well enough. Now at 42, I feel very angry, very sad, very - what was it all for? I want to get back to a career where I can help, but my anxiety is absolutely nuclear. Every time I think of being in conflict again, my brain sets off warning signals, but I don’t know what else to do.. I don’t think therapy is for me, but I drink a lot of alcohol. But I also go sober often too. I just worry that I’m turning into the thing I worried I’d turn in to. I’m a good man, I try and help those around me. I’m a very physical man, brown belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu, weight lifter, runner. I cook, I play drums, I do everything to occupy my time. I don’t take medication, no offence to anyone who does, I’ve seen its pros and cons we’ll say in my line of work. Sometimes I just feel destined to carry this. Which is okay enough. I cry a lot though. Sorry, this probably doesn’t make much sense. I guess I’m just worried where this goes from here. Did anyone who felt resistant to medication and therapy go for it, and it wasn’t what they expected? - for the better? I’m new here, this is literally my first post on Reddit. Have patience with me if you can.

My partner(26M) is currently on a 3rd combat deployment. There are preemptive signs of ptsd. His story is complex. As his partner, I (23F) believe its my role to do whatever I can, while he is on deployments, to support them through this and educate myself on what is to come, while also strengthening myself personally. His career holds a hook in his heart. I respect him and his endeavours deeply. I love this person and want to build them a sense of peace so that hopefully when its time to truly heal they have the best opportunity for success. Seeking out audiobook recommendations, books, articles, conversations, and community. How do we help those with wounds we can never full understand? How do you wish someone could show up for you if you yourself are struggling? How did you show up for your partner? I have so many questions. This is an unfamiliar conversation to open up and maybe an uncomfortable one too. Please help me help my person. Lets talk about this. I don't think my soldier is broken but he is going through something and so many others are too. This needs to be talked about. I don't want to be another person walking on eggshells.

Married 22 years. Husband is 70%VA rated for PTSD after I begged him for 15 years to apply then just filled everything out myself and made him sign the damn application.

He's mostly good. He's on some SSRIs that have helped with the nightmares and sleepwalking. He's a work a holic in a high stress, high profile job that he's really good at. He's a good dad and usually a good partner. He works out consistently, has hobbies etc...

The anger outbursts are killing me. It's usually not directed at me. And he's not violent. Driving really set's him off for whatever reason. I'm realizing that I've been emotionally withdrawing for years because of this. Somethings gotta give.

He did talk therapy for awhile years ago and it helped but it's really difficult for him to work it into his schedule. We've discussed cutting out alcohol entirely too. Is there anything else that has helped you with the outbursts?

Does VA have any kind of online talk therapy option? He's priority 1 but has never used VA healthcare. We are also over an hour from the closest hospital but have a CBOC here in town.

My reasons were no different from the reasons most people have for staying silent. I was ashamed and maybe even afraid of being judged.

After leaving active duty, I threw myself into the gym sometimes spending hours there each day. I ran every race I could find and even a few marathons. Staying busy kept my trauma at bay, at least until late at night. That’s when the memories hit, and sleep was a battle I was lucky to get an hour or two at best.

Then, in 2020, I was diagnosed with cancer for the first time. The one thing that kept my bad thoughts away working out was taken from me. Fucking cancer. Over the next two years, I faced two more types of cancer, each with its own surgeries and invasive treatments.

I was devastated. Between the complications and my PTSD, it felt like I was in a constant free fall. My energy level was non-existent, and I couldn’t do anything to distract myself.

But then I realized I had a truck. I started driving to the mountains and sleeping in it. I couldn’t hunt, hike, or do any of the things I used to love, but I could at least drive and breathe the fresh air.

For the past three years, truck camping or overlanding, as they call it has been my lifeline. It saved me.

I’m sharing this to tell you: giving up is not an option. No matter what your trauma is, there is always a way forward. If you ever feel alone or hopeless, get in your car and drive. Count sunrises and sunsets. Sleep under the stars. Play with your dog, if you have one.

If I can keep going, so can you. Get better, my friend you deserve it.

I believe that people with trauma can heal but never reverse their past. But they can use that to shield the truly great in Humanity from danger. Though, it's extremely hard mostly since society considers them outcasts and damaged goods. So I believe that the best course of action is to become a beacon of hope, not just waiting for it to come. I understand if this triggers people, I just wanted to share my opinion.

I never fired my weapon. Only had to shoulder it. I watched families die and had men burn at my feet due to chemical weapons (mustard gas/ISIS). Missiles, GSW, IED.

Am I full of shit? Was it even real? Been diagnosed with CPTSD. I didn’t go through anything like the boys that got into some shit. I just saw death, and suffering. Tried to save people. I can’t justify or believe I have PTSD. I didn’t fire my weapon. How can I have it. Hard to believe it was real.

Ever since I started recovering from my own mental illness, I always wanted to help people currently in the same condition or worse. How can I do this?

We are recruiting for a study to help male and female Veterans & service members with PTSD symptoms, using Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as a complementary therapy. Previous deployment is not required. Jiu Jitsu lessons are FREE and the gym is located in the Tampa/Carrollwood, FL area. If you are interested, please scan the QR code, or call/email. We look forward to speaking with you!

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Hi, British Army combat vet. Over the years, I have had the usual dreams, lack of sleep, guilt, anger, but for the most part I have been able to appear, for want of a better word, 'normal', although there are moments However, this time of the year, I visit the National Cemetery to pay my respects to my USMC brother in law. Each time I lose the plot. I get angry, almost unable to function. Very upset. Never happens at a civvie cemetery. Is this just me, or do others have this issue?

Sorry if this comes across strange but I need to know I’m not crazy. Has anyone here ever smelled burnt egg shell before? Someone in the house was trying to boil eggs and I guess they forgot and walked away because when I woke up I saw burnt hard boiled eggs in a pan and the smell really messed me up. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it smells a hell of a lot like burning skin and it really bothered me. I just want to ask to make sure I’m not crazy because I haven’t slept in a while. Maybe that’s how most burning things smell but this was the first burnt thing that made me this upset. Any help would be appreciated

Man, I miss it, and I hate it all at the same time. I miss that sense of doing something for the greater good of our country, and the world. I miss the chaos of it, the camaraderie, the relationships forged in the shit, through the shit, right along side me.

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Post-traumatic disorder (PTSD) and Alcohol Dependence can occur together after experiencing a stressful event, with symptoms including unwanted memories of the event, avoidance of situations related to the event, as well as uncontrolled drinking and a preoccupation with alcohol. Our study aims to see if topiramate is an effective treatment for alcohol dependence co-occurring with PTSD. We are seeking research participants interested in stopping or decreasing their drinking and PTSD symptoms.

You may be eligible for our study if you are:

• Between the ages of 18-70.
• Able to commit to taking study medication (topiramate) daily for 14 weeks.
• Able to commute to 4-6 in-person visits in New York City over a 14-week period (Monday-Friday, 9AM-5PM).
• Comfortable participating in fasting blood draws, answering questions about your stressful experiences and alcohol use, as well as undergoing Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) brain scans (optional).

If you think you may be eligible, please respond to this message by clicking the link below and one of our coordinators will be happy to reach out to you.

Link: https://openredcap.nyumc.org/apps/redcap/surveys/?s=KNTDWJEFNA

My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately. He is a veteran with PTSD and years ago while he was AD on a deployment he told me he was feeling depressed and I messed up and told my friend (a fellow spouse) that he said that. She told her husband who told someone and anyways my husband didn’t want it getting around. I guess at that time i didn’t fully understand what he was going through and just figured he was feeling down and didn’t know the seriousness of anything bc he didn’t really elaborate on how he was feeling and everything that he was going through. So he has lost all trust and won’t talk to me about anything. Fast forward, now we have two kids, he’s out of the military and we are having issues. I’m feeling a lot of anger towards him bc he doesn’t help with very much and I’m constantly stressed and overwhelmed with everything. He’s upset that I treat him like he’s a regular person that doesn’t have PTSD and I don’t understand what he goes through. Our youngest 2M is a handful. He’s constantly stressing me out. Doesn’t listen, laughs in my face when I’m trying to discipline him and he’s just hard to handle. My husband sometimes helps me with him but there’s times where I’m just so exhausted and the times that I just need him the most to just take him or just get the kids to bed by himself without my help, he won’t. Or he’ll do it one day and then if I ask him another day he’ll say “I did it that one day” even though I’ve done it say 3 or so days with zero help from him it’s like he does it once and he’s in the clear for awhile. I have my own issues too. Obviously not as bad as his. I grew up in a hoarder home so I never really learned to clean, never grew up with a cleaning routine or anything and the house was FILTHY. So I really struggle to keep the house clean and he knows how I grew up, he’s seen what my parents house looked like (we met when I was 19 and I was still living at home) I don’t want our kids growing up like I did but I’m having a really hard time with all these responsibilities with almost no help. Here’s another example of something he did that caused a lot of anger from me. I asked him to watch the kids so I could do the dishes bc the sink was gross full of dishes that had been there for a while. He said no bc it would take too long. All he really does is play video games when he’s home. But despite how much he plays and I usually try not to complain about it, he’ll still sometimes complain that he doesn’t get to play, and I’m just like wtf?? You are always playing! I don’t get it. Unless he means like he wants to play like for 12+ hours?? Idk. He’s saying I don’t care that he has PTSD but I truly don’t know what he goes through and I’m having a very hard time bc I just feel so much anger that I have to deal with so much stuff all on my own and I feel like I’m drowning and it’s like bc he doesn’t trust me to talk to me, my perspective is just him coming home and just going to the bedroom and playing games and complaining if I ask him to watch the kids if I need to do something or just refusing to watch them. And it’s really frustrating bc I’m asking him to watch them so I can do housework, not to run off to a friend’s house, or go get my nails done or something. I really just don’t know what to do. I feel like this is just what my life is going to be like forever but idk how to deal with him especially since he won’t talk to me about anything. I want to start seeing a therapist myself but idk how to even start that process. Do I need a referral from my PCP? Or do I just look one up and call and make an appointment?

My husband’s PTSD has been out of control. He has been talking about the universe giving him the answers he needs and is listening to gateway tapes? Does anyone have experience with this? He doesn’t want to get conventional help for his PTSD and I am not sure what I can do at this point. He had an episode this week and was acting crazy and my daughter compared his eyes to the movie the shining. We have never seen him like this before. Of course I am to blame for all of his behaviors. When I say I want my husband back he says things like that person is dead. This is the new version of him. How can I get him to seek help? This is out of control.

I am a high school student conducting research on the effectiveness of Virtual Reality (VR) therapy in comparison to the traditional approach of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This survey is designed for individuals who have PTSD and have undergone either CBT, VR therapy, or both. This to gather insights into their experiences and outcomes. The survey will take around 15 minutes, can you please fill do my survey.

Link - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScbh4XgVurOEArJPWIf5sR94Buf6o2pws7_XcNgvGPUxHfALA/viewform?usp=sf_link

There is a way out. Seek out Ayahuasca. Get there. Godspeed brothers and sisters.

I suppose just how the title reads.

From any caregivers, does it get better?

My spouse is still AD (18+ years) he's not getting help and won't for reasons that are his, but God Knows Ive tried. I'm struggling with my role as a caregiver. He's not violent or volitale but he's not a good partner and a moderately okay parent.

I empathize that I don't understand what he's going through. I've already been "toughing it out" for years and my biggest fear is what happens after his military service ends?

Will it get better? I can't imagine it would. I vasilate between the dutiful wife and running for the hills because what if it doesn't get better?

I'm in therapy, I'm work alanon when I can, I've had an offer for a spouses therapeutic retreat that I'm considering, but it all seems fruitless if things don't get better.

Husband is a combat veteran with PTSD. Left suddenly with no warning. I am absolutely devastated. I have cared for him for so many years and I am having a hard time without him. He says he has no emotions for me anymore. He has shut me out completely. I feel so pathetic to have begged him to come home and he is done with me. He said everything is my fault. He had an affair at work but said it was just emotional and nothing happened. He downplays it and I’m the crazy person. I don’t understand. He says because of my own anxiety. I didn’t think my anxiety was affecting him. I apologized, I’ve made changes in my life but he said it’s too late. My anxiety I felt was due to my own issues but also having all the responsibilities of the household and no support from him. I never complained and took everything on because I understood my role as a wife with someone who has PTSD. I have given everything to this man. I work my ass off to help provide for our family. I love him deeply. Sex is amazing. I cook clean and take care of everything. Yet I’m not enough? I loved him with everything I had to give and he just kicked me out of his life like I was nothing. He says I’m his best friend and he loves me deeply but his actions show I am nothing to this man. I don’t know why he married me to just abandon me. Please help me understand so I can move on with my life.

Hey everyone, I was diagnosed with complex ptsd and made a video on how I was able to recover from it after years of drugs and alcohol to cope. Mine is not from combat but the principles of EMDR should work for combat. I was a wildland firefighter and have seen many deaths but mine is mostly from abusive dad and an older sister that did something sexual to me when I was little I didn’t know how to deal with

My YouTube Process | How I Cured PTSD With Zoloft, Sobriety, And EMDR https://youtu.be/GfNBegN4Aio

Not sure how to say this so I’ll just ask bluntly… how do you reach out for help and not burden your friends with what they’re likely to think is a trauma dump?

Recipient of the “C-PTSD” label and been holding that hot coal in my hand for 40+ years. 24 years of active duty in there too along with my fair share of seeing the worst side of humanity in war and peace… lost far more friends in peace — before and after — than I ever did in Iraq or Afghanistan. Multiple traumatic events are often just playing on an endless repeating cycle in the background of my consciousness… sometimes it’s louder and more vivid but it’s always there. It’s always playing.

Was retired from the Army for several years before I ever sought help. Could never take that step in uniform for all the wrong reasons.

Met a Purple Heart Marine after moving to our retirement town to continue raising our young family. He was the guy I could call middle of the night when I can’t sleep because the fuck-it monster has invaded my darkest thoughts. And I was the guy he could call middle of the night…

My Marine buddy died from sudden cardiac arrest a few weeks back. I’ve wanted to call him a few times but he’s not answering anymore…

Lots of friends say I can call them anytime, but can’t help but feel that may not be true. At the very least, I never had to explain the military side of shit to my Marine.

So… advice? How to find someone who can understand? Someone who will answer the phone at 3am?

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