For a little bit of back ground I’m 14 weeks postpartum and at around 6 weeks postpartum I had my first panic attack never had mental health before and this is my second baby so it really took me back since having the panic attack I haven’t been able to eat any solid food what so ever all I’m really living on is smoothies,milkshakes and yogurts i have spoke to the dr and they have prescribed me Citalopram I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and did medication help you or did anything else pull you through

Hi moms of Reddit! We are an organization named Beyond Birth Blues that's based in Frisco, Texas. Our goal is to educate our community about postpartum depression and all its nuances, as well as provide our community with reputable resources where they can go seek help or more information. Yet something we have struggled with the most throughout our journey is bringing awareness to personal accounts of mothers with the disorder. We believe that, more than an objective definition from Google, an anecdote, a piece of advice, or even just simple encouragement from someone who has experienced the disorder is so much more impactful. We want mothers who happen to stumble across our accounts to find solace and strength in the content we create. That's why, if you or a loved one has experienced postpartum depression to any extent, we would be so grateful if you could share your story with us through our google form below! These responses WILL be posted to our social medias, so please share only as much as you are personally comfortable with. We highly encourage providing advice and words of support, to help remind other mothers that they are not alone!

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My partner and I met over our mutual love for dogs. Dogs mean so much to both of us . When we met 3 yrs ago my partner had two XL American bullies. Unfortunately although well trained and cared for by my partner, they have both been nothing but trouble. They have attacked each other , chased and attacked his father's bull . Fought other dogs . It got to the point that I just didn't want to be around them . However the situation was manageable, as we didn't live together, and I didn't have to see the dogs too often . Then my partner got accepted into the army and spent months away training. His dogs remained at his father's, with both his father and I taking turns to look after them. Fast forward and my partner and I have been living together for the last 18 months . During this time only one of his dogs has been with us, as the two together just isn't manageable . The problem is , I had to leave my much loved very social friendly French bulldog, who was my world , behind, as his dog is just not good with any other dog . I accepted this and put on my big girl pants to move forward in our relationship, leaving my much loved dog with my parents, where she had always lived and was happy. However I was terribly lonely not having a lap dog companion, something ide had all my life. For me dogs are therapy and I really needed the companionship. My partners dogs is a one person dog and although is fine with me I'm just not her person and she gives me very little in the way of affection. So as my partners dog was now maturing and starting to behave a lot better , we decide a male French bulldog puppy was a feasible idea. Thinking a male and female would get along, especially being brought up as a puppy. . For the first 12 months things went great . Big and little dog got on well, slept in the same basket etc etc .

Then one day things changed. I think it was because my boy was no longer a pup and my partners dog now saw him as a threat . She tried to attack my Frenchie whilst they were playing with a ball . Very full on and meaning business, not just a little play fight Luckily we broke it up quickly and no injuries occured. However I was then on high alert and very worried this would happen again. As I knew my little guy wouldn't stand a chance with the bully being such a a strong powerful dog. I started seeing signs of jealousy and possessiveness from the XL bully. She followed my partner everywhere and sat just staring at my dog . I just couldn't trust the two dogs being together any more . On walks my boy would be perfect whilst my partners dog started to get very timid and skittish and started growling at other dogs . She couldn't be walked around other dogs and has rushed at a fence to try to attack dogs in their yard on multiple occasions. Yet My partner insisted on walking her off lead !!! He seemed oblivious to all this, and would shrug it off if I mentioned anything . It's now got to the stage that I'm definitely not comfortable having my dog around his and have had to resort to taking him to my parents with my other French bulldog. I am heart broken , as he is my much loved and cared for baby. . But I couldn't bare anything happening to him. So it's now two dogs I've had to give up because of his dog and feel like I'm back at square one . My partner thinks I'm over reacting and can't seem to see that his dog is a huge problem and he keeps making excuses for her . She has never been around children and is frightened by them, so I would never feel comfortable having a baby around her. So she doesn't even fit into our future plans . Yet still my partner will not see there is a problem. He puts it all back on me saying I'm causing the problem by having the dogs apart. Everyone I know can see his dog is a problem and deep down I know he does too, yet he just won't admit it . It's really come down to the dog or me . I've tried everything I can to like his dog and give her attention and time . But she is just a dangerous and unpredictable dog . I miss my Frenchie , my partner says to bring him home, but he is not going to keep them apart and says he will continue to walk his dog off the lead . I am not at all happy with this . I just can't see a solution . What are your thoughts ?

Excuse me if I'm not doing this right this is my first time using reddit. so I 15f started watching porn January 11th 2024 some back story that I think is important my mother left me with my dad when I was 3months old my aunt taught me have to wash up and wipe when I was like 3 that was it and when I was 11 I was fored to live with my mom for 3 years and was a horrible mother and she has an abusive husband ( that's another story) I ran away and she essentially taught me nothing about my body I researched about porn and the effects before I started watching so I don't get addicted. I initially started watching to normalize masterbation (I've been doing it since I was 10 idk why) and in February I took a week break just to make sure it's not addicted and essentially put myself on a schedule but every since then I have been watching way less and masterbating way less from watching 4/5 times and week to 2/3 times and week (maybe less) and masterbating 5/6x a week to 2/3x a week but recently I been feeling like a shouldn't watch it anymore even tho I have cut down my watching significantly I essentially asking is it ok for me to watch it with the progress I made or should I be done altogether?

AITAH: *trigger warning * self harm and sucidial thought.

I had to take my daughter to the ER to be evaluated for PPD today. She's (18f) and is 5 months PP. I've advised her over and over to seek help and call her OB, she's 18 I can't do alot because of HIPPA and her age. She acknowledges me but hasn't done it. She has all the classic signs, I've had PPD so maybe she's more likely to get it also idk ,and I was doing what I thought was right for her and her baby. I was advised by the NP at her OB office to take her to the ER because it's impossible to get an apt on Medicade. Alot of ppl have to resort to the ER for basic care PCP needs.

So we get there and she admits to suicidal thoughts a year ago. They tell us the process of how the it will all play out. They have to transfer her to a behavioral health department in the hospital. She went with them no problem.

2 people called me and asked about her support and if I had any concerns. I told them exactly what I thought and seen. Then they call me back and said she wasn't truthfull and are going to IVC ( involuntary committed)her for up to 7 days.

She's called me and has just begged to come home. She told me she hated me and I hate her. Then called and apologized. She said she happy and it's all a big misunderstanding. It's not though!

So am I? Is it mom guilt? I feel I fucked up bad. Idk hopefully I'm only the ass hole till tomorrow in her eyes.

I might have it or not Calls started back in March 12th person called me 13 times every so often he would call multiply times leaving voice mails and more of a homphbic manor the calls contained for months after voice mails where also him described sexual things done To me and more

Past 8 months have had this caller call off and on leaving voice mails and more of a homphbic and sexual nature Thoese have stopped with a premium call blocker on my cellphone I had to add that the other apps he was able to keep getting thru after I told them to stop repeatedly

On Oct 26 me and a co worker got into a war of words and more about something stupid was said in passing the the next Friday after thought nothing of it Now we go to Nov 2nd 1st time was followed home I was on foot and this truck was following me it was dark and very little street lights on some of the roads i stop and started to walk to an apartment complex person had there cell phone out so I could have been photo or video tapped the vehical in question headlights off that time

The 2nd time was this past thrusday nov 9th

Again walking home pitch black and more this time the truck again has there lights off and is following me this time I suspect that they following me to my home remember dark outside and my subdivision had a lack of street lights so the street is dark how i was walking home one side has street lights the other does not so this truck followed me to my home it was the same truck same i believed but I have little to no proof on that

Do I have ppd or am I just thinking something stupid.?

tl;dr

Meet girl online, waited way to long to meet. met, had great time, she acted like she has feelings for me. then says she doesn't. meet again, even more romantic, but she still doesn't want more than friendship. now not talking fo a while. I am confused.

​

About 18 months ago I(25) matched a girl(21) on okc and we gradually grew closer, with her eventually becoming my long distance submissive. We talked daily and sexted a lot, however meeting were difficult bc of distance, covid and health issues. We only saw each other twice last year and weren't able to sleep together for logistical reasons. Yet we decided to be exclusive as we realized we had feelings for one another. Texts became video calls to the point of us talking 8h+ a day fairly regularly. Two weeks ago covid and our schedules finally allowed for me to go visit her for five days, to at her request I stayed another day. I honestly thought we had a great time, lots of romantic moments, great sex(her words), constant touching, chemistry etc. I eventually ended up telling her I love her as we were fucking and she said she almost told me the day before and the said it too. However neither of us said it again. On the way to drop me off she told me that she'd have to think about this and us but was fairly optimistic and seemed pretty head over hells.

Obviously that didn't last and two days later she told me she didn't have the amount of romantic feelings to pursue a relationship and would like to be friends, break off exclusivity etc. Then she asked me to visit again, and I did last weekend. Pretty much back to the same as the first meeting, starring into each others eyes, emotional sex, lots of touching, kissing, laughing etc. When she noticed I had dating apps on my phone she got a little offended, look at a bunch of them (at my invitation to prove I hadn't actually created a profile yet) and after discovering a kink dating app, said either that she is still my sub (my recollection) or that we hadn't talked about our D/s roles yet(her recollection). She again asked me to stay longer and I did. The last night before she dropped me off she again ended up saying that she doesn't know if she has feelings for me. She said she wanted a relationship at some point and it just doesn't feel the same now and we should just be friends. She cried a lot, I cried a little. Still I absolutely do have some feelings for her and am convinced that she has them for me too, just not deep enough to live up to her expectations. We have talked about me visiting again in three weeks when our schedules match up again. However she rejected my suggestion of a quick date sooner and we agreed to break of communications for a while.

I know the MO, get over her, met other woman, reproach later if at all. However I'd like to continue fucking her and I also cant help but feel, based on the actions that she has feelings for me. She says she looks at me bc she likes and appreciates me, but usually that's not what prolonged eye contact etc means.

What should I do? Should I contact her again in 2-3 weeks and try to meet her even if I might still have some feelings for her at that point? Is there any way to change her mind?

Thank you for reading!

This person gaslights people advocating for incels and tell them to kill themselves. It's in coded language, but pretty obvious. This person is violating Reddit TOS. They are really toxic and dangerous to the community. Obviously, I can't say what their user name is because I don't want them to get doxed.

For some reason I'm not able to report them on PPD. How can I get Reddit admins to take this hate speech seriously? This is basically an emergency. I'd call 911, but they'd just laugh at me.

The person I'm talking about is dangerous and not mentally well. I'm concerned that they will try to physically attack people they call "incels" in the near future. Please, help this person making hateful comments about "incels."

One of my best friends was to be married this month. We were in a jewelry store and she fell in love with a beautiful pair of diamond earrings but decided not spend the money on them because of other wedding expenses. I went back to the jewelry store and bought her the earrings as my wedding gift to her and for her “something new” to wear on her wedding day. Now the wedding has been called off due to family drama. Should I expect her to return the earrings to me or give me the money I spent to buy them? She is a dear friend but I don’t normally give my friends expensive gifts just for no reason.

Hello! I’ve been suffering from repugnant thoughts that I know stem from my fear of my daughter being hurt sexually in any way so my mind seems to think that if I would do that some how. I was abused as a child in all the ways you can think and I’m terrified of that happening to my poor baby, so my body decides to make me have thoughts of hurting her and that I feel that way twords babies in general and I can’t begin to explain how debilitating it is for me because it comes out of no where. It’s terrifying to be completely honest. I wasn’t only sexually abused by my stepfather but also by a friend of my fathers from work. I’m so scared of her being hurt and my body turns against me and shows me these horrible images of doing things or thinking things of that nature and I can’t tell you how opposite it is for me to do something like that. I try to tell myself in those instances that I wouldn’t be with my baby right now if doctors/ therapists thought I was a danger and that I could NEVER do that to my baby. It’s a twist of what I’m terrified of happening, I was wondering if I’m the only one who had issues like this.

And black. And male. And sexually conservative (no sex out of marriage). And virgin. And early 20s. And live in Atlanta.

How fucked am I (rhetorically speaking ofc, obviously I'm totally UNfucked).

long story short, Fucked a girl during vacation, saw each other a couple of times after that , no strings attached i guess. We dont really text in between the times we meet.

Couple of months later she texts me saying she s in town, so i set up a date(?) to meet. She was kind of flaky but agreed. At the last moment she says i m coming with friends, and learn during the meet up that its with a guy she s seeing.

How wiuld you guys take this/react?

So all my romantic life I've been completely at the mercy of my looks.

I was a very cute baby and child, but from about the ages of 11 to 18 I became physically ugly to the point where in my desperation I decided I'll avoid women and focus on academics in the hopes of marrying a gold digger. For me puberty was very late, my voice broke around the age of 17 and I was still growing taller after I left high school.

Into my 20's I've grown very good looking and women pursue me yet there is still this lingering issue where I seem robotic and lack any sort of social smoothness which makes me seem so off-ish. People are convinced I have secret parties with women which I don't invite them to or have some sort of covertly wild social life and I find having casual encounters with women easier to get than actually getting a relationship since that entails a women being around a man who doesn't seem like he's a living breathing human of flesh but rather a beautiful robot.

In short the extremes to which I have been subject to the way my looks are perceived has lead to an extremely reactive sexual strategy rather than a proactive one.

Help pls

Some background on me and her. I [25M] and her [27F]. I am from India and she is from europe. I live in EU. We are together since 4-5 months. I did get to know her from street(Via Pickup). We clicked really good together sexually and non-sexually. She had few guys before me and she had daddy issue, becuase of that when she was 18 she dates the some one twice her age. That was her past and she is over with him. This shows she needs dominating men in her life, and I dominate her pretty much all the time. She really enjoys it, and never had something like this and she always wanted this.

Now enters her recent ex. Lets call him V (Some info on him: He is also from India. He was virgin at the time meeting her. Pretty much beta guy, was bringing roses to her every-time he meet her). They had breakup with him 1 year ago before we met. She was really into him, V promised her to marry her and have child with her. He was so sure that he took her to India to meet his parents, but his parents was not happy about her. So after 1 month, coming back from India he breaks up with her. My gf tells me it broke her and took a lot of time to trust someone. And she still feel for him. Once we were out in the city, she saw him and without a blink she walks towards him like she is hypnotized by him. I really don't like this behavior of her. This fairly early in our relationship, so I warned her and let it go. Again once she mentioned him after a month when I was at her place she mentioned him. Telling me she got the text and try to make him jealous, by comparing him with me. I didn't like and told it's disrespecting for me so I left her place. After that she said sorry and just didn't know any other way to tease me cause I tease her all the time with my pickup girls.

Every thing is going well till now, she is got the text from V again. (I told her to block him but she isnt doing it) He is leaving town and wants to meet her last time and would like to give her a hug. I told her not to meet him. This will make her emotionally unstable for few days. But she tells me your logic is not helping me, she feels that she needs to meet him. And she had already met him and now she is sick since past week.

I have decided to leave her. But I don't want her to suffer and give her the pain her ex gave. Clearly she is not over him yet. And still thinks she can get him.

I was thinking of giving some links about breakup and recommendation to visit psychologist. Or should I just leave her on her own term and let her learn the lesson.

I'm posting here for the sake of neutral advice, since I'm not expecting it on TRP or hyper-liberal jokes like r/relationships. I want someone with a valid perspective of what I'm going through. Also, if all you want to contribute is "fake/troll", go away.

tl;dr: I don't know who the fuck I am anymore.

'---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a girl bawling her eyes out right now cause of me.

I'm not sure how to feel about it.

I'll skip the life story since you're not interested but the important parts are: I took the red pill. And obviously, I did it because it I had a need. Always been a loner. Never had many opportunities. Even less success.

You could say, girls did used to be interested in me in first impressions, maybe because of my height, but always seemed to get turned off the moment I opened my mouth because it never lead anywhere. I developed neediness from that. Always convinced I had to do something to keep people interested or else they'd leave too.

TRP diagnosed me. I followed advice.

And I got my first kiss at 20. I lost my virginity.

And I did it with a girl I'm not perfectly attracted to (Cute but small tits and not great complexion. 10 in personality tho). But she fawned over me and I liked that.

Two months of that and I moved on like it was nothing. I approached like 5 other chicks in a week. Managed chemistry with one. We had sex within just a few days.

Now I am freaking myself out the way I am behaving with these girls. Like it was bad at points.

All the while with second girl(who doesn't know anything about my ex), first girl keeps calling me. Doesn't give up. Tells me she loves me but starts arguments with me whenever she sees me. Some part of me really likes that I've got more power over her. BP me wants to settle for her and forget that I want at least a 9 for an LTR. RP me is legit considering getting back together with her just for fun even though at the back of my head, i still KNOW i can do better.

This is where I am right now. This girl is hurt and making time to meet me and text me and wants me and I'm keeping her hopes alive even while I'm rejecting her(because deep down, I KNOW that the ways I'm saying no, aren't taken as 'impossible' by her. I could do better. I'm like a friendzoning bitch who won't say "fuck off" to someone who needs it because subconsiously i'm keeping a backup).

I've already used her once and I'm just considering whether to use her again.

The thing about all of this that disturbs me though is, I didn't have this sort of self-awareness until today. A few hours or so ago, I picked up her call. Just talking. And she started crying. Tells me she cries a lot nowadays but pretends not to. That I was her first. That she knows I probably have somebody else right now. That she was so, so hurt by me. That she She still loves me. She tells me a lot and she was right about a lot. I just listened.

You know, I get its now taboo to say, but I was once not this terrible. Being a "nice, good person" was a quality that I had.

Now, I am the asshole.

I am so confused.

A guy in my town (29/m) has been asking me for music lessons. He works in a sandwich joint near my office park. He wants to learn to play electric piano and record it to MIDI. However, he doesn't have a computer (he thought "pro tools" was an "app").

So I showed him computers on Newegg that he could afford. However ever since his brother came home from jail, his brother has been breaking and stealing his things. I told him to buy his brother a computer and send him a bill on Paypal or Venmo, because they start at $80.

It came out later that he spends roughly $200 per month on weed, which is his "medicine" for insomnia. I told him that he could go to a doctor and get an Ambien script for much less but he doesn't believe in "the health care establishment".

Is this guy dumb or am I just classist for judging the fact that he doesn't have a computer, and that he basically spends a rent payment on weed (and considers it "medical")?

The reason I'm doubtful whether or not this means he's dumb is because he stated that over 80% of employees at that specific restaurant smoke pot regularly.

Gaming is extremely important to me, I don't just play but also hover around game development (Coding, Art and Music). Also a lot of media I consume has to do with gaming. I have other lesser hobbies, though little can sustain my engagement like gaming over a lifetime. I'm not limiting my search to only "gamer gurls", I know that there will be non-gamers out there I'm compatible with. Though It's clear it's a really good idea to look for someone you have a lot in common with, it's a better start.

I am 21 5"10 soon to have an athletic body (hopefully even get to compete to some regional sprinting events), Engineering Graduate from a good University. Fairly socialized and confident, can get on with most people if I try, though I often don't want to because I'm introverted.

I'm open minded to any strategies and advice. Thanks!

My long term roommate has a few eccentrics in his family.

His cousin is a bit younger than me and had a kid recently in a... weird way. Like he did not plan to have the kid, but the girl did it to "trap" him. This boy has also been in jail before, for stealing cars during high school. Fortunately his dad is a cop.

Now that this guy is a father, I am strongly concerned about his life. How do I steer him toward normal career options instead of the weird jobs that age 25+ adults in our neighborhood usually work in, like fast food, and dangerous stuff like welding?

We have a large finance sector in the area but very few people in the town where he lives work in normal jobs. Being a high ranking armed security guard is considered elite, and I don't know why.

My friend that I grew up with is a dentist and that's normal to me, but it's surprising to most people. Unfortunately, for some reason this kid never darkened the door of a college despite being 25.

How should I address this? Should I steer him toward courses on Khan's Academy and Codeschool?

I'm curious. What if you were 40 and still single?

I'm starting my career as a club promoter and producer in the metal and underground DIY scene. Yet, because I don't have tattoos, do drugs or drink alcohol, this isn't seen as legitimate I'm apparently not "really having a good time". I'm not considered straight edge due to being non vegetarian and I drink wine in Wiccan rituals like a religious person would do in a mass.

Apparently I'm ugly with no self esteem because I don't dox myself with selfies. Moreover, it is seen as inappropriate, that I just started partying in my early 30s, and didn't do it in my 20s when I'm "supposed to".

Moreover the fact that I work in an office job is seen as proof that I'm a church lady or whatever because sometimes I come to the club in my work clothes.

What should I do to dissuade people's perceptions that I 1. don't party, when in fact I'm a promoter AT the parties that they go to and 2. am teetotal about drugs when I am dependent on diet pills? I started carrying Tarot cards everywhere to prove I'm not Christian, but people still have this impression about me.

So I found this girl and whilst I have no knowledge of an official diagnosis she is displaying traits one would associate with Borderline Personality Disorder. At first she was very intense telling me about her plans, borderline hateful of other people whom she said are naive and lazy.

She opens up pretty quickly about her past and drops pretty obvious signs she likes me, but unless I'm willing to pay her absurd amounts of attention she goes absolutely ballistic, completely melts down, completely blows up my phone with ridiculous nonsense which is a mix of absurd lovey-dovey stuff, telling me she wants to be my girl, punctuated with threats that she will cut me from her life.

I have been with one girl with BPD in the past and whenever she had the classic meltdown I would always come back with hysterical, grovelling apologies and this actually did work, she seemed to love the pattern of arguing and tenderness, but obviously she is simply one data point and it would be imprudent to extrapolate this to another woman.

I don't love her, I don't care in a sensitive way, but I'm game for the fling and I wish to understand whether I should double down and try to break her or give her the most absurd love-bomb to show I care and satisfy her fear of abandonment.

Tagging in the following Senpais:

/u/GroovyEFS

/u/KoennenTiger

/u/ProbablyBelievesIt

It's no secret that I am not a fan of a lot of the extreme social justice stuff that's going on. A lot of it is stuff I find to be hypocritical AF. However, a lot of my friends post this stuff consistently throughout social media.

How do I avoid alienating them? Because I went to a liberal arts college and work in a banking sector job, fully 50% of my buddies voted Trump and 50% voted Bernie.

I sometimes try to communicate ideas about things that interest me such as buying a stock for hepatitis C medicine because there are a lot of crackheads in the city. However I am criticized heavily for this due to the extreme reaction against "for profit healthcare".

Moreover sometimes I drink diet teas and pop diet pills and there is a lot of fat power stuff there that is aimed against diet fanatics. How do I keep friendships and stay networked while other people work through their issues?

If you were pretty good friends with a foreigner whose visa was going to expire and they didn't want to leave your country, would you consider marrying them to make them a a citizen? Would it depend how long you've known the person? What if they paid you?

Right now this is hypothetical but I think a friend/coworker I've known for about a year might ask me for this favor. It's not that uncommon in my social circles, I've been to a couple green card weddings for friends, but in all the cases I know of there was also an exchange of money.

I'd feel guilty if he had to leave the US but it seems like asking someone to commit a felony and lie to all their friends and family about something this big is just too huge a favor. Also I'd have to live with him (I think) and it just seems like a really complicated process. I think I'd possibly feel different if we were closer and had known each other longer.

So I don't necessarily need advice on this but I was thinking about it lately and curious what y'all might think!

I tried contacting and asking the mods of this Subreddit about this question but appear to have gotten no response from them.

Thus, here goes (and hoping for the best):

After I will become able to afford it and get it, that is.

Also, for the record, if everything goes as expected, I will get a Bachelor's Degree at the start of summer 2017. Afterwards, I want to work for several years and then very possibly to go to grad school and to get a Master's Degree and a PhD so that I can become a History professor at some university and continuously ensure a good standard of living for myself.

Anyway, any thoughts on this?

Also, for the record, my orchiectomy is certainly extremely strongly related to my extreme hostility to the current child support laws; in turn, this is why exactly I am posting this here.

How many types of abuse is this and how much compensation can I claim?

Basically, if someone is a 4 in NYC, but a 7 in Iowa, would you advise them to move to Iowa, if relationships/marriage was their goal?

Hope to see a lot of positive and constructive posts coming from people disenfranchised by the SMP here :)

edit: The earlier posts seemed serious, didn't pick up on the shit-posting whoops!

So like, I love me some dark skinneded alpha menz. but I can't find any that are willing (key word) to provide solid beta comfort. what can a nice woman like myself do to make an alpha more beta???

Hey guys. I'm a 32F, asexual, who pissed away my youth on 4chan and the misc. I work in an accounting dept. I am now pissing my 30s away in front of a mixing board and DAW (stuff for producing music).

Has my ship sailed? I have autism and probably a schizophrenic spectrum condition. I'm working on my mental health by taking nootropics, and am considering adding Modafinil to my stack if it may help.

A few years ago, I started working toward succeeding in the local music scene. I tried, and worked toward joining some metal bands. I listen to fringe genres like tech death but people want to play stuff like Slipknot style music that I don't really like.

I am also working toward losing a few pounds to get the real teen hipster thin look. My BMI is 17 and I am trying to get it down to 14 because I was over 200 lbs in my teens and 20s. Is this goal futile or retarded? People who are in their 20s are that thin and they're fine.

Another part of the puzzle is that I have a different ... mentality from most of my friends. Most of my friends as well as eligible bachelors around me are obsessed with "DC and Marvel comics" and call me a fake nerd because I only read "obscure" stuff like Bradbury and Asimov that they never heard of.

One of my friends who is the biggest geeks on the planet says that Star Wars books are the best in science fiction and fantasy, and he also enjoys the Halo book series, based on the game Halo. I don't understand this.

To me, it seems like everyone has this figured out when they're so young.