A weapon for the sly

Relief for the soft

Scary and pretty

A heart on display

Brutal and quant

With no shortcuts

Once lost

And never found again

Hidden where it's safe

Away from the hungry

Till the growls sound softer

Intention no longer ugly

Did you mean to kill me when you threw the knife?

Did you mean to break me when you left my life?

Did you know how sad I was, laying on the bathroom floor?

I gave you everything, what do you mean you wanted more?

The chandelier went crashing and my tears were streaming

Watching all my love vanish as you were leaving

Strangled by your ignorance, I couldn’t breathe

Tortured by your carelessness, melting in our tension’s heat

Fighting all day, but I still wanted you to stay

Looking for something you never had anyway

You took the ring off my finger and threw it in the lake

You stayed hours at work, trying to push me away

Hugs were forbidden, kisses were restrained

Still need to unlearn the way I was tamed

I was obedient, sat in the bedroom alone

Taken from all my friends, kidnapped from my home

You cut the phone line and I stopped seeing family

Somehow convinced me that it would make me happy

Only your wisdom to follow, I fell in the well

Jack and Jill fell down the hill into Hell

Tell me again everything that you promised

Now let me list everything I’ve not gotten

Followed you to the end, jumped off the cliff

Only to look back and see you had not done the same

When forever really meant never and help never came

I started to realize that your kind of love was pain

And hurt isn’t a kind of healing, it’s plain brutal

My heart crashed, my trust forever totaled

My scars will cover, but they’ll never be healed

I can’t believe all of the things you told me were real

Every overreaction was me sinking to my demise

Your heart was never true, you were one big lie

I lay here alone, but it’s for the best

Rather die living than live dying

---

Would appreciate advice about my poetry, specifically my rhyme scheme :D

You may go, But not in the velvet cloak of midnight.

You may go, But leave behind whispers of your grace.

You may go, Yet let it not strike like lightning's shock.

You may go, For the world unfurls its welcoming embrace. But pause, just once, in this moment's glow, Let my arms weave a tapestry of our shared space.

How is it? :)

In a room full of voices
I stand in the crowd
Laughter and chatter
Yet silence feels loud

Eyes meet and pass
But none really see
The quietest longing
That lives inside me

I smile when they smile
I nod when they speak
But inside it’s distance
I can't seem to breach

I’m surrounded by faces
Yet lost in the haze
A shadow, a ripple
In all of their gaze

The air hums with warmth
But it's cold where I am
A fleeting connection
That slips through my hand

I reach out for meaning
But grasp only space
Alone in a crowd
Where I can't find my place

How can you feel lonely
When you’re never alone
When voices are plenty
But none truly known

A paradox strange
Yet so sharply real
To be with them all
Yet with no one, I feel

It's a silly dream It's only a dream And I fear that's all it will be All in my head Filling my mind Her and this dream Maybe we could be More than we are But it's all in my mind And I fear i'm not in hers And it's forever to be Just a silly dream That's all it will be But like a dream She's in my head Constantly reminding of what it could be Haunting me No longer a silly dream But a nightmare Eating away at my mind Where she stays It pushes me to be better But im not enough Not for her But i want to be I wish I Dream

It's a silly dream It's only a dream And I fear that's all it will be All in my head Filling my mind Her and this dream Maybe we could be More than we are But it's all in my mind And I fear i'm not in hers And it's forever to be Just a silly dream That's all it will be But like a dream She's in my head Constantly reminding of what it could be Haunting me No longer a silly dream But a nightmare Eating away at my mind Where she stays It pushes me to be better But i'm not enough Not for her But i want to be I wish I Dream

Innocence, a child’s perceived reality, crashed at last breath with failed vitality.

A family once knit, undone like a knot unfit.

Silent Yells full of passion, with stubbornness all the new fashion.

A young teen caught in-between, the throes of things said but not seen.

Backs turned and bridges burned, the bonds of brotherhood all but unlearned.

But what of the boy, stuck silent in the crosshairs, Yearning for what was, realizing, it can no longer be. A family torn, he can only adorn, what was, for it is now no longer.

In the mind, Memories dance like a hallowed flame, feelings of warmth flicker and shine, but it’s nothing but the ghost of the past stuck on rewind.

Years gone by and it’s Time to sleep, here we carry, yet another to bury. With pride the child strides, grandpa by his side, carrying him to where he shall finally reside.

With Hopeful optimism, 10 years gone by, we all finally reunite, eye to eye. With Gazes averted, the final blow, it is a punishment just for show.

I Yearn for the days when we would go, to sit beside each-other row by row. Christmas dinners and birthday bash, family laughs, and grandpas crafts.

I was a boy but now I’m grown, but to you all, that’s unknown. The choice was made, but not by me, I wish everyone could just see. You are all petty to a T.

I was a boy who watched family grow, I was a boy who watched family go. 15 years is all I got, and it did not feel like a lot. Now I’m grown and I see, that the next time I see you, will be in your sleep. But I will not stand aside, stubborn and cowardly like you all.

With a head held high, I will carry you too, to where you shall finally reside.

My boy is being taken,
to tussle with men.
He will drink from silver cups,
once sipped by the dead.
He will swear oaths,
oaths forsaken by gods.
A old man will give him a sword,
bright as the moon.
And he will swing, and swing,
so that another may not swing at him first.
His first will be etched into his memory.
His tenth will be just a pile of meat.
The pile will grow, and grow,
and sink into the depths of his heart.
Instead of cleaning the pile,
he will simply get rid of the heart.

my world burned to ashes. everything. through the fire I walked. I screamed in anguish until It passed content with the aftermath.

look in my eyes. tell the truth. share with me. the mountains you've moved

I knew my voice more than special. finally free. to be me

lift every voice and sing. let every dreamer dream.

skimming your poem, I want to feel it. trigger my emotions I'm healing. Gratuity.

Here I sit, with a buzzing in my brain.

Irritating itch of the shining emerald grass,

Sweltering shine of the gorgeous sun above,

Song of the Thrush only to harras.

Despite the brilliance of its stream,

The trickle of the fall; only to annoy,

The dragonflies danced around like steam,

Dancing; dancing like sticky kids drunk on Lacroix,

Swooping and rushing, all the while buzzing;

There wings aglow to spite me, inspite of me.

They are the mob of people humming,

Humming because they hate me.

They humm because they know or want to know

The latest they or he said, she or we said.

The latest how do you do. Why do they do?

And it serves nothing more then to hurt my head.

Maybe my sights would move me if I let it,

Maybe the peace would ease my pain.

And yet I sit with a hot coal in my pocket,

Sitting; sitting with the buzzing in my brain,

Pretending the problem is them and not I.

Blots of ink on the ceiling shapeshifting, Fluid shadows, unseen, persist. They sing both dirges and hymns of praise, Waging war in unseen haze— In the heavens, below Heaven.
Flesh and soul, spear and tongue, An endless battle, old yet young. Demons scatter, flail, and scream, Writhing in pain—a fractured dream, Just beyond our reach, our sight.
The air thickens, heavy with fright— Then, stillness. It turns to white.

1   2  

Every once an idle mind,

Silence avows in wisps,

how I end up debted,

at this crisp arm length,

with The One I want;

Burgundy skies sightsee

the palms I once fit,

in search for lies maroon,

I haggle for you,

with a poet once dauntless;

I reach for conondrum arcane

That once was only mine;

Every once a heart flicker,

weighting down the dark

Forthright I rushed into alive,

I forget about you.

When my time comes, I want to leave quietly, softly, wrapped in warm, fuzzy blankets, the scent of my favorite vanilla perfume and cookies filling the air,

fingers intertwined with a loved one’s, beneath their gentle gaze—our silent goodbye.

I want to slip away with my lips curled slightly upwards, neck turned towards the window, raindrops mirrored in my eyes, slipping down my cheeks.

My regrets will linger unspoken, bitter as my desire to hold that hand in mine just a little tighter,

but it’s okay, because my eyes will close, the rain will stop, and their hand will lift away from mine.

It’s Saturday night, and I just crashed after a cardio session. I’ve been a loner for over a year, Which feels strange, knowing I have great connections. Maybe I’m just a little depressed.

It’s Saturday night, and I can’t make it to a friend’s party. It’s too far, and I don’t have a ride. So I’ll sleep early under the daring moonlight, And wake up early to keep writing.

It’s Saturday night, and my mom’s away. She’s always out on weekends, I wish I were like her. She said she’d drop me off when she got home, But she’s not back yet.

It’s Saturday night, and I secretly wanted to cancel. Big parties overwhelm me when I barely know anyone. I freeze as if someone dropped a question To which I didn’t know the answer.

It’s Saturday night, and I’m crying. It’s the second birthday party from the same friend that I canceled. How will I ever make more friends If I can’t even show up for once? I’m mad at my mom. I’m so mad it’s painful.

I wanted this, but I’m drowning myself. I’m tangled. Gold-haired angel, The sound of nature. My thoughts and feelings will fade, Even if it feels like forever.

—Melissa Ulloa

Hocus pocus toil and focus
Monday decends upon us;
Mounted gloom
On a flying broom,

Schedules out the sun.
We have to get it done.
We nod and smile,
Go an extra mile.

We spin the gold;
We fit the mold;
We do the work;
We never shirk.

We work each day
To pay our way,
To buy and sell-
There is no spell...

Two of five we thrive,
The rest we survive
With tv and drinking
and magical thinking.

I tried to continue, to keep on going
But eventually you begin the slowing;

I try, I fail,
I believe I'll prevail.
Yet all I do, is get jailed:
Not behind bars of metal,
Not in a room alone
Not anything that can be shown.

I'm locked in the cycle of life:
To resit, to continue;
Reject internal strife.
To accept, to view;
To see life as is true.

I walk, I stumble;
I try, I fumble.
Whenever will I succeed, 
when those unworthy gain victory?

December Looks Different this Year

December looks different this year
My sweet baby sleeps behind metal bars
A crib not fit for an infant so small
Trapped within these hospital walls

Alarms replace the bells of cheer
Angels rush in, thank God he’s still here
The murmur is goes on, blood passes so quick
Whooshing snowstorms, turmoil within

He’s starting to smile at lights strung above
We decorate his room so he’s not alone
A baby so tender it’s hard to believe
He’s only known needles and surgeries.

Maybe he knows that Santa is near
Will he stop by if my baby is here?
Bring him the heart he so desperately needs
Wrapped with a bow underneath the tree

My baby whose fought since the day he was born
Who doesn’t deserve the cross he has worn
Full of poking and prodding, worry and fear
My baby I pray on Christmas is here

Yes, December looks different this year
Born with a heart that’s half of its size
Outshone by the courage he carries inside
My mother heart swells with gratitude
Sweet baby, I’m blessed that I still have you.

It was over before I started

I will never reach catharsis

My bones aching with my head

All I see, a sea of red

If I could bend my back more

I could contort my body

It May be not meant to be

I would sacrifice the rest if

You let me only just have this

I would give five pounds of flesh

I would drive myself to debt

Everything is just dumb noise

Why can't I find my one voice?

Confusing screen of static

Burn it all, burn to ashes

Walls begin to close in

Hope is close to ruin

This is it, so end it

https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/s/m1Yaj4gnEW

https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/s/CPMwE7BfBM

If I had known it way back then That I’d forget your taste

That all I had to offer Was too little and too late

I don’t think I would undo All the love to come

Walk away from all the pain Of losing all your love

I’d choose you in every life time Welcome all the déjà vu

Let my heart break ten times over For the sake of knowing you

And if I’m not enough to love now If it will never be the same

I’ll wait until my next life I’ll love you from the grave

Cell number 2. Hand selected, cultivated, a swimmer, tied at the finishing line..

Blue gloves determine the womb deserved. 

9 months later removed, dissected out,

2nd to the first, male.

No tears, no fuss,

waiting for the next order

Measured. Legs long,

circumference small,

hair red, eyes blue

Milestones completed, all is well

Does he know?

Cell no.2 has grown

Cell no.2 is flawed, conscious of self. 

Can he know?

Tower Hamlets homes Creator 1. A former poet, comedian…

Was no.2 one of his jokes?

Does she know?

Park view homes cell no.2. Does she know?

What was she made for?

You can’t have sex with your AI girlfriend

Sit on your ass just watching the world end

Hand on your cock in the cold of your bed

So fucking dumb, can’t get out of your head

Zeroes and ones can not give or feel love

You can’t imagine a replica of

The warmth of a touch, a kiss, or a fuck

You’re so fucking lonely, down on your luck

Needing some kind of emotional bond

Coming to see that it’s actually gone

Wish I could be there to witness the fall

The realization of losing it all

Hope you die old spend forever alone

Never leave VR and never leave home

summer left without a note, just your shadow cast in blue. we whispered what we felt was safe, afraid of what was true.

When I was young and fairly dumb
A maidens hand I asked
To my surprise, a yes she said
For her it seemed a laugh

So off we went into the night
For love we were to make
But once in bed I heard her say
'Its only cash I take'

And then the truth washed over me
My maiden she had lied
She handed me a business card
'You're a prostitute I cried!'

So at the door I stand alone
For back outside she went
I shut the door and slumped in bed
And chuckled, 'cash well spent'

Somewhere in my psyche

It lingers, a place that's debilitated

That's suffering unmedicated

Or perhaps it is the whole.

Thin like the sheath which bled crimson

Torn and infected

Or perhaps it was just recovering

And it was I that misunderstood

The situation as a whole.

Diluting down it's worth into my insecurities

And quaffing down uncongealed embitterment

Or perhaps it emerged from within me

And consumed me whole.

Constructing my own delirium

With my flayed, exsanginuated hands

Pleading for someone that understands

Or perhaps I wish I was dead and

Swallowed whole.

I wish to rise from the decay of my thoughts and my dreams

But not of my hatred, I seek vengeance

For everyone who has ever wronged me should endure excruciating agony

But the one who will suffer most shall be me, as always.

-PR

My mental illness has been an affliction since birth

I must take pills daily to regulate my mood I get irritated

just from another human being breathing some nights i'm in so much

physical pain and so mentally restless that I wish for the forever sleep

but I'm such a coward that I'm incapable of checking out of my own misery

well on a good note for support I do have my best friend who just happens to be a poodle her name is Betty Boop she is always elated to see me constantly playful , warm hearted , so radiant I'm so fascinated by how free she is

she's also without worry and so energetic I must say today I live through Betty Boop

What if I told you I liked you that day? Would it change our story?

Would we two children? Living in a remote town?

Would we have the German shepherd we dreamed of? The one we promised we'd  name Reily?

Would I wake up in your arms? Drink morning coffee together?

I can't help but wonder if I didn't hesitate.

Didn't think twice. Didn't know why. Didn't get to try.

What if I told you i liked you that day?

Would you liked me too?

There's no place

Like an abandon home

That gets burn down

And bulldoze over

For a prison block,

I mean an apartment complex

That's overpriced and mismanaged

With a landlord that haunts you

For paying the rent

Which takes up half your paycheck

While the other half's spent

Scrounging around for scraps of food

Leaving you with little to do

Except eat, work, and sleep.

I'm the silence between two noises, The silent tone before the breakdown. My life's not the fast climb, Im fast only in my desire.

Im a straw in the field. The voice in the crowd fading away, The noise of death threatening me, Fear it will overpower me.

They can kill me, but they can not kill my sadness. The can cut my hands, I'll grasp her with my teeth. They can cut my ears, I'll listen her with my soul. They can take my heart out, I'll pump her with my bones.

She is in every corner of my soul, The flame burning in my core. The only emotion i explored, A stone dragging me down to the bottom, and lifting me closer to my dreams at the same time.

I see people with cold faces, and Cruel eyes, and i can't confront them. God didn't make me that wise. A child's smile becomes the face of evil, Two persons that are not equal.

This Earth is spinning too fast for me, I still can't figure out what I'm supposed to be. The world is rushing, throwing away The weak and indecisive like me.

If somebody is crying out there , it feels like i am guilty. If somebody laughing, it always feels like they are laughing at me.

are we inherently bad,

does the way we speak determine our character,

or do thoughts carry heavier than the weight of bones,

how do we unveil emotions,

that cannot be seen,

but are felt deeper than skin,

a glimmer of hope,

and once again we are reborn,

can we be changed?

do we deserve a chance to seek retribution,

or are our sins engrained so very deeply in our hearts,

may we only be the words spoken of us,

spat out with wickedness,

in a moment of our weakness and pain,

everything will turn,

morphing into a true colour,

is the loneliness a blanket of comfort,

or a twisted monster under our beds,

gnawing away at the remains of our souls, identity rotting, mouth smiling, teeth snarling.

I opened a photo book the other day,

And I saw glimpses of a past

so far in the back of my head

That i felt as though I shouldn’t be watching,

Private moments 

with a family I see as often as a UFO

They’re all grown up now

And what do you know

I’m still here.

Waiting, for nothing

For them to pause their lives

And come back to my grandma’s house

Where we’d ride bikes on the roof

And drink juice on her velvet couch

It feels empty now

she told me she felt lonely

since everyone has a life to live

they don’t need her affection anymore

When it’s all she can give

Now all she could do is

fall asleep until she can’t anymore 

Cook, knit and sweep the floor

Telling herself we’d all be back one day

And thats for sure

To her at least

I’m afraid of loss

I’m afraid I’ll open a photo book one day

Only to see her holding me in her loving arms

Telling myself I should have stayed

Right there, in her heart

Shrouded by the aroma of omelettes

Watching wacky Saturday cartoons

But now the sun has set

And i’m afraid she’ll be gone soon

Like everyone else

in that little house,

Where we all grew