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Like most of you I bought private prison stocks just before the election. They went up 40% and thanks to some leverage my positions are going to the moon. I would like to profit a bit more from the suffering from pours. What are my next moves? Xinjiang cotton processing plants? Darfur oil rights? Colombian cocaine processing plants? Help a fellow gentleman out.

I am invested in pork belly futures (they're called Lean Hogs now). Is it vegan to be invested in these products? I'm not eating them right? Also I'm speculating in weather derivatives to profit from climate change. But I'm like not changing the weather, right? My boyfriend says I'm a hypocrite and I should reinvest my earnings in Random Length Plywood futures, probably because my character is so random. Any advice?

I'm not sure what the next steps are for me. I have met my financial goals. I have a mansion (in fact, two), and I have all of the strippers, yachts, coke, and lambos anybody could ever want.

But sometimes I have this nagging feeling like... maybe there's something I'm missing. Usually, I just go buy something or throw money at pours (like bread to ducks), watch them get excited, and I feel better. I even paid a few mill to get GTA 6 early. It's pretty fun.

I've been to every country (most of them are boring and full of pours). I took a trip to the moon. I've seen government secrets.

Idk, I just am not sure what to do now. Any ideas?

My portfolio mainly consists of commodities. It's $100M in

• Raw Pine Nuts, high quality (40%)

• Untoasted sesame seeds, good quality (20%)

• Blanched Almonds, excellent quality (10%)

• Royalties in jokes, mediocre quality (10%)

As a single mom, I love my kids dearly, but I don't have a ton of disposable income or time. Between being a top ranked only fans model, a profitable day trader, and McDonald's franchise holder, I only bring in about ~$6 million a year. I know that's not a lot of money, but I need to pay off Harvard to convince them to just take my kids. Don't get me wrong, they're smart, but nobody gets into Harvard without a generous donation of millions of dollars that I don't have outside of investments and retirement accounts.

I'm worried I'll have to dip into my $1 billion trust fund that I inherited, but I was saving that for a rainy day... so like buying out all the tickets to a Taylor Swift concert so I can enjoy the music with no pours around or purchasing a skyscraper for a better view of NYC.

I can't just send my kids to a state school, I mean, can you imagine them making friends and associating with the lower class that don't even own a house or a few Lamborghinis? I want better for my kids.

Is anyone in here not super ultra world endingly high income or not DINKs?

So many of the posts in here are DINKs or DI10Ks earning $3 quintillion+ a year in income. Is anyone in here making a normal income like $7.5m or $100m? And what's your strategy to set yourself on FIRE? I ask because I'm 18 and a SI5K (is that a word?). Current net worth around $90m (40m dogecoin, 30m wine cellar, 20m gold bars, 10m in the yacht I just bought for my wife and her BF) and adding about $300m/month to investments on a medium income with goal to retire by 21. Starting next year, will be putting around $600m/month. I want to hear from the common people people who are making normal, median incomes like mine, if any exist. How do you start FIRE?

Hey guys, I'm hoping to retire in about 2-3 years and looking for advice. Got the famous three-fund portfolio and just like to get a heads up from the experts.

Fund 1: TQQQ (33%)

Fund 2: Dogecoin (33%)

Fund 3: Turkish Government bonds (33%)

1% is in commodities (mainly cocaine futures)

I'm basically looking for capital preservation. What do you think?

Hey so I really hate flying and I'm trying to figure out the best way to financially optimize travel and comfort. I don't really travel much, but looking to start so any advice will help..

So do I just but an airline? Or a few private jets? What about these pilots? Do I have to buy a few and buy them some silly little shack to live in and feed them too? It all just seems so cumbersome, I might need to hire a new assistant just to manage all this.

This is why I haven't travelled much, it brings me anxiety. Maybe I should just buy a travel management company and be done with it.

Please help

It's a triple tax advantaged account, and I have discovered a loophole that allows me to contribute more than the standard max amount.

But idk, it's only like $1 mill a year, and it'll make my insurance deductible go from $925 to $1600. That deductible seems too much to me. I'm willing to pay extra for certain things like occasionally renting out an entire restaurant just so I don't have to speak with pours or for extra strippers on my yacht, but this deductible seems like too much.

I mean he IS allowed to spend his allowance but I guess I'm just disappointed it's a business aimed towards the pours and not towards regular people. How are you dealing with your underachieving heirs?

I've asked him several times why he did that, but all he does it burp or poop at me.

Should I go to the poolice?

As title states, I’m [27M] wondering if it’s a good financial decision to move out of my parents’ house. I make $150k with potential bonuses, no debt, and about $670k in retirement savings. The only reason my number is so low currently is because some unfortunate events wiped out my savings last year (I had to buy a new toothbrush). This year, I have been trying to get back on track wrt saving.

Now, my girlfriend wants to move in together, but I looked at the math, and a 2BR in my area is around $2000.

If I keep living with my parents for the next 30 years, and invest that $2000/mo in an index fund, it’ll be worth over $2m by the time I’m retirement age.

I’ve looked into switching to a lentil-only diet to save on food costs. But I’m afraid if I do this, my gf will just continue to want other things like traveling together, marriage, and children, and I don’t want to jeopardize my financial future.

I run a small business of 500 employees that travel the country to do menial tasks in small communities that undercut the local competition with cheap labour. I already make all my employees use a company businesses card that siphon all the travel points to my personal account to use for roughly 11 months of free vacations a year for myself but I just realized I've been letting my employees collect hotel points for their business travel accommodations that they can use for themselves. I pay them 100 dollars above the poverty threshold already so I think its not fair for them to get those points as a perk. I have a business to run and at the end of the day I need to eat too. Is there any way I can get those points redirected to myself?

Right now I make a modest $10 mill a year from investments, and I spend my days partying on a yacht or driving my lambos. I really want a house because I can't brag about a mansion I don't own. Problem is, the most brag-worthy mansions go for like $50 million, and it would require me to make sacrifices like selling off 10% of my Microsoft shares.

I don't really see a way to cut back. I mean, I guess I could make coffee at home, but that would only save me $1 mill a year. Not worth the hassle. I don't even know how to use a Keurig. It keeps blinking at me, and I don't know where to put the pod in.

I am unable to find one anywhere I go so that's why I came here to try my chances since there are so many of you who made it in their lives.

Is it really that hard to be a 20-24 yo tall hot man with his shit together? Like I am tired of all these fake rich 6 feet tall chad wannabee businessmen, doctors and lawyers trying to impress me with their abysmal $300-500k a year salaries... is it even a living wage by today's standards??? Like how the hell are you going to support my wants?

And I think it's refreshing, maybe it will teach them not to be entitled so much all the time. On the other hand, I'm a beliver inthe conpany you keep... if they don't hang around future doctors/lawyers / engineers, how will they progress in life?

Like I am watching a stream and see a guy donating a $100 then another $100 then $250 then another hundred.. like the dude donated over a grand in just one day. Next few days same thing.. lots of donos each $100+ just from one guy lol how can you afford that??

Just wondering what kind of money you gotta make to be able to donate that much to gamers?!

Hi guys, hope you can give me some advice. My roommate is 12 years old and doesn't do anything to help out around the house and it's getting a little ridiculous. When I was 12 I already had my own drop shipping business selling glow in the dark tablet cases (I'm 14 now). But my roommate has been living with me for a while now and all he does is sleep all day, bitch and moan about how he's hungry (he's not), and stares at the wall like a freaking lunatic for no reason.

Anyway it just feels like he's constantly making excuses, like having no opposable thumbs or not understanding English or only being a foot tall. I'm not trying to be ableist (fake) but how is any of that stuff my problem? He also spends a lot of time in the litter box so I'm thinking of making it a pay-per-use thing to supplement my Forza Horizon 5 addiction (necessary).

It's about time he pays his share. I'm sick of doing everything and paying for everything around here. Does $3500/mo excluding utilities (first, second, third, and last and second last month's rent + damage deposit) sound good for the spare storage room? Thanks guys.

Finally, a place for the pours: r/thepours

Come join our discussion of the devastating lentil fungus that’s been going around this summer.

Living in a low cost of living area... Idk what is wrong how come I can't afford to live on that pay? It is true they say COL is going crazy these days!

• My monthly net is ~$10k. Here is a breakdown of my monthly expenses:
• Housing: $0 (Living in a penthouse fully paid out by mommy and daddy)
• Food: $2343 (Eating steaks and lobsters)
• Monthly car payment: $6,400 (financed brand new super charged maxed out Porsche 911)
• Insuracne and gas: $1022

Rest goes to enterntainment, food, etc... I am also getting monthly allowance so that helps to not go negative...

What should I do and how to actually have any savings in this sort of economy?

I am netting $10k monthly. Still, I cannot stop listening to Johnny Paycheck. I love his music. I listen to him when I wake up, when I drive to work and when I go to sleep. How can I stop living Paycheck to Paycheck?

I have derived the only fool proof investing method - going 100% VXUS. Think about it: The world economy will grow a lot. Do you want any part in this? Then go VXUS! But what about the US market cap, the naysayers say. Did CAPM teach you nothing? Is William Sharpe a joke to you? What about the efficient frontier with no bonds? Well, it's simple: The world bascially only trades with the US, so you get ALL of your US-exposure in VXUS. So no need for VOO. Everyone holds VOO, it's too expensive. Also, bonds are for weaklings. If you want bonds, staking in Polkadot is more reasonable (or JEPI, if you must). With this, I conclude. QED.

I have the unique opportunity to buy a Ram 1500 TRX. It has all the bells and whistles. A get a hefty discount ($110k), so the salesman told me that basically cancels the loan (30% APR, but since i get a 20% discount on the sticker price it basically cancels out). About me I work the line and bring home about $40k/year, I have some CC debt but nothing major, less than half of the truck.

I think this would be a solid investment since I need to get groceries and I might need to visit my cousing Vinnie in Montana in 2-3 years so I def need a capable vehicle if there's snow. My ex-wife thinks I'm crazy but I mean she's the one who divorced me so I think that speaks to her level of crazyness. Does this check out?

Back when I was poor, I was only buying 3-5 properties per year, and only 2 of those were vacation homes. Each home only had 3 cars (1 bugatti, 1 s class, 1 G63). I was very humble in my spending back then, grounding me to reality of what it was like to be low income and poor. It was a well balanced amount of spending like your typical american hard worker.

But now that my allowance and resulting dividends has increased to $2.2B/yr, I'm not even buying properties anymore, I'm buying towns. It used to be 1 town every other month, but I wasnt even feeling that, now I'm buying 1 town every other week, 1 estate every other week, and I dont buy cars anymore, I just buy the dealerships and only end up driving one car before I buy another one.

I'm worried that I wont be able to retire, I keep spending and its getting out of control? Please, my fellow blue collar friends, any advice for me?

I’m worried I’m making too much money. Me and my hot wife are bringing in around 6 figures each month. Sadly we only have around 5 billion in our emergency fund left after being temporarily unemployed for one day.

Our lentil farm is doing really well and we are hiring more and more pours to help extend our business. They are getting 0.2 cents an hour for their pay. Honestly I’m thinking of decreasing that salary because me and my wife need more money for our 401k.

This should be enough money to last us atleast 20 lifetimes but I’m still worried for no reason. Okay guys I’ll be honest I only made this post because I wanted to flex my wealth on you pours 🤑🤑🤑🤑

I had them as filling for my pillow.

After salivating on it during a rough night I had to throw it away.

Now my neck hurts because the hundred dollar bills in my new pillow aren't as soft.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so poor.

I’m worried about my financial situation and worried that I won’t be able to afford my Tesla 5 billion a month car payment. My lentil farm also isn’t doing well so I may need to cut some things down. My hot wife also pays me 500 billion a day for existing. How do I not run out of money and become a pour?

HYSA stands for
Here, You Select Ally