REMEMBER TO READ THE SIDEBAR

If you ended up in the hospital yesterday you need to pay your deductible for 2024 and if you're still there you need to pay the deductible for 2025 so stop being poor and buy more money

I thought I did the math correctly i don’t know what went wrong? I’m furious cause of all the compounding interest I’m going to miss out on. Should I email the irs ?

I have found a way to access the future from my ISDN landline. I'm in the year 2000 and have looked at the S&P 500 returns which have been positive for about the last 30 years. I think I want to go all in on stocks and maybe do some leverage? My mom says I should buy a house but I think I'll wait 6 or 7 years or so. Unfortunately I can only use forums so you guys are my only hope. thanks!!

This morning I found my butler resting on his laurels watching that awful black and white christmas film about the downcast loser pour who has his bad financial and life decisions bailed out by an angel.

Yet the more I stew over my butler’s laziness, the more I find the plot to be a tragedy. Honestly, quite a disturbing one.

A wise, motivated man seeks to show off his business prowess by owning all of the assets in an otherwise-pathetic village of pours (something I think we can all identify with). Yet he is the VILLAIN???! Oh and the heavens and the pours band together to thwart our aspiring mogul??!!!!!!??!?

What message are we sending to the pours when we allow this to be broadcasted on our networks?

At best the hope that ‘it gets better, just keep working, sky daddy will help lift the yoke’ but at worst ‘band together and overthrow your corporate landlords’.

I have too much stock in BlackRock for the latter an acceptable risk.

For this reason, I will be buying up tv and streaming services so that it is removed from the air. Those of you who currently own them clearly cannot be trusted to do your jobs.

Definitely

Invest in

New

Korollas

Interested in leaving a legacy in the form of progeny. Seeking advice on the optimal time to abandon said future progeny, in order to best motivate them to develop into high performing individuals. The theory being that in my absence, they will do anything to regain the love, care, and piles of money I intend to withhold from them.

Financially, my options include: -Airtight prenup before inevitable divorce -Shield assets in trust fund, dangle to offspring like a carrot -Spend/donate all assets, so offspring learn to earn out of spite -what else am I missing?

After my stocks were up 30% this year, now I'm only up 27%. 10% of my gains have vanished within a month. I was going to charter a private jet to Europe for Christmas, but now I might have to just get a NetJets membership. This is really stressing me out.

Something I've noticed after having overheard a lot of personal finance discussions among my servants, is there is a huge reluctance for the pours, as individuals, to accept that I'm better than them. I've got a handful of examples I've observed that demonstrate this pretty well:

The pours almost never believe that they're actually pours, and they think people like me (who pay them their lentils so they can eat) are actually pours! The pours see me living large with my HotWife^tm (much hotter than theirs) and assume that I must be in massive debt or something, when really I just have a bigger inheritance, bigger crypto wins, and better Van Guards than them.

The pours are much more likely to believe and share unsubstantiated negative pop finance clickbait garbage like "70% of the population can't afford a $1,000 emergency" to make themselves feel better that they're they're pours, and not like me.

The pours often come up with conspiratorial or convoluted explanations for why they can't afford things, for example, houses. Many explain their own inability to afford a house as some plot by "blackrock" or some other boogeyman buying up all the homes, when the simple reality is that I've been outbidding them and bribing the local government not to allow any more housing to be built, so that they're forced to pay me back the lentils I pay them in the form of rent.

I could go on but I see this attitude a lot. I've accepted that that the pours usually have worthless college degrees and dead end careers and no bootstraps, so why can't they? I struggle to understand these pours. I guess I better start the union busting tactics before my household staff starts getting too many ideas.

I've always used alligators in my moat to keep the peasants at bay, but as a healthcare executive I am reviewing my security procedures in light of recent tragic events. One of my maids comes from Brazil (illegally of course- everyone knows walls don't stop shit) and she told me she once saw a man get eaten by piranhas and that got me thinking. What do you guys stock your moats with?

We purchased our first McMansion in 2022 for $700,000,000 with 3.3 % ARR and 20% down. My mortgage is $2,500,000/month. My wife and I gross approx $250,000,000. I am 40 M and she is 38. At the time of purchasing we didn't take into consideration how much insurance we would need for our priceless collectibles and how much the gubmint wants to steal from us in the form of "property taxes". I'm in Texas and my home now is valued at $1 billion, so the local gubmint wants to take $16,000,000/year from me to give hand outs to the pours, and my home insurance has skyrocketed to $5,000,000/year. I tried shopping around but that was the cheapest I could find. My Hot TradWife (hotter than yours) does not receive any retirement benefits at work so of course I max out my 401K, HSA, backdoor Roth, and Van Guards. After paying for my expensive hobbies and all the lentils I buy each month, we don't have much left over. Will I ever get to retire? Or am I a total pour? Help!

Gentlemen, can we please abstain from holding public office and instead celebrating the tradition of exerting political control in more subtle ways? I do believe it sullies our good standing by taking office and it gives the pours a false understanding that we're accountable to them. What happened to good old influencing presidents, ministers and parliaments through gifts, promises and threats? Are the ways of our fathers lost to you?

Hello, My grandpa lost his job at the lentil plantation. He has stopped working since and has no pension. He receives social security for about 1600 dollars a month. My mother helps support him with food, but he has a mortgage loan and a home equity loan still present. The home equity loan is what is killing him as it’s a 2,000 dollar loan at 8% for 40yrs. The loan has been ongoing for about 10yrs and the loan has actually only increased in total amount owed.

Not one cent paid off the principal. He has 30 years left on the loan.

Clearly this is unacceptable as I fully expect him to live another 30 years and it Is VERY important that he pays off the principle.

Is there a way we can sell him into slave labor or indentured servitude to pay off his debts? Is there a way we can sell his house out from under him to pay them off? At this young age he should be living on the streets and working hard!

Sorry I provided little to no information. Here’s a breakdown of my budget.

Income: $1,121 weekly.

Expenses:

Car Repayment: $459 FUCKING DOLLARS WHY THE FUCK AM I PAYING $1800 A MONTH FOR A CAR WHEN I EARN LESS THAN $60K A YEAR WHAT THE FUCK (cannot stop repayments due to contract). Rent: $145 Phone: $14.74 Charging car: $50 Consolidated Loan: $125 (20k - 22.74% p.a. over 5 years) Subscriptions: $8.20 Tolls: $25 Gym: $26.39 Tuition fee: $125 Remaining: $108.82

Sometimes I can lower the toll expense if I happen to finish work early and I’ve been going to cheap slow chargers at midnight to reduce the charging cost. Gym and the car are under contracts and cannot remove them.

Like most of you I bought private prison stocks just before the election. They went up 40% and thanks to some leverage my positions are going to the moon. I would like to profit a bit more from the suffering from pours. What are my next moves? Xinjiang cotton processing plants? Darfur oil rights? Colombian cocaine processing plants? Help a fellow gentleman out.

I am invested in pork belly futures (they're called Lean Hogs now). Is it vegan to be invested in these products? I'm not eating them right? Also I'm speculating in weather derivatives to profit from climate change. But I'm like not changing the weather, right? My boyfriend says I'm a hypocrite and I should reinvest my earnings in Random Length Plywood futures, probably because my character is so random. Any advice?

I'm not sure what the next steps are for me. I have met my financial goals. I have a mansion (in fact, two), and I have all of the strippers, yachts, coke, and lambos anybody could ever want.

But sometimes I have this nagging feeling like... maybe there's something I'm missing. Usually, I just go buy something or throw money at pours (like bread to ducks), watch them get excited, and I feel better. I even paid a few mill to get GTA 6 early. It's pretty fun.

I've been to every country (most of them are boring and full of pours). I took a trip to the moon. I've seen government secrets.

Idk, I just am not sure what to do now. Any ideas?

My portfolio mainly consists of commodities. It's $100M in

• Raw Pine Nuts, high quality (40%)

• Untoasted sesame seeds, good quality (20%)

• Blanched Almonds, excellent quality (10%)

• Royalties in jokes, mediocre quality (10%)

As a single mom, I love my kids dearly, but I don't have a ton of disposable income or time. Between being a top ranked only fans model, a profitable day trader, and McDonald's franchise holder, I only bring in about ~$6 million a year. I know that's not a lot of money, but I need to pay off Harvard to convince them to just take my kids. Don't get me wrong, they're smart, but nobody gets into Harvard without a generous donation of millions of dollars that I don't have outside of investments and retirement accounts.

I'm worried I'll have to dip into my $1 billion trust fund that I inherited, but I was saving that for a rainy day... so like buying out all the tickets to a Taylor Swift concert so I can enjoy the music with no pours around or purchasing a skyscraper for a better view of NYC.

I can't just send my kids to a state school, I mean, can you imagine them making friends and associating with the lower class that don't even own a house or a few Lamborghinis? I want better for my kids.

Is anyone in here not super ultra world endingly high income or not DINKs?

So many of the posts in here are DINKs or DI10Ks earning $3 quintillion+ a year in income. Is anyone in here making a normal income like $7.5m or $100m? And what's your strategy to set yourself on FIRE? I ask because I'm 18 and a SI5K (is that a word?). Current net worth around $90m (40m dogecoin, 30m wine cellar, 20m gold bars, 10m in the yacht I just bought for my wife and her BF) and adding about $300m/month to investments on a medium income with goal to retire by 21. Starting next year, will be putting around $600m/month. I want to hear from the common people people who are making normal, median incomes like mine, if any exist. How do you start FIRE?

Hey guys, I'm hoping to retire in about 2-3 years and looking for advice. Got the famous three-fund portfolio and just like to get a heads up from the experts.

Fund 1: TQQQ (33%)

Fund 2: Dogecoin (33%)

Fund 3: Turkish Government bonds (33%)

1% is in commodities (mainly cocaine futures)

I'm basically looking for capital preservation. What do you think?

Hey so I really hate flying and I'm trying to figure out the best way to financially optimize travel and comfort. I don't really travel much, but looking to start so any advice will help..

So do I just but an airline? Or a few private jets? What about these pilots? Do I have to buy a few and buy them some silly little shack to live in and feed them too? It all just seems so cumbersome, I might need to hire a new assistant just to manage all this.

This is why I haven't travelled much, it brings me anxiety. Maybe I should just buy a travel management company and be done with it.

Please help

It's a triple tax advantaged account, and I have discovered a loophole that allows me to contribute more than the standard max amount.

But idk, it's only like $1 mill a year, and it'll make my insurance deductible go from $925 to $1600. That deductible seems too much to me. I'm willing to pay extra for certain things like occasionally renting out an entire restaurant just so I don't have to speak with pours or for extra strippers on my yacht, but this deductible seems like too much.

I mean he IS allowed to spend his allowance but I guess I'm just disappointed it's a business aimed towards the pours and not towards regular people. How are you dealing with your underachieving heirs?

I've asked him several times why he did that, but all he does it burp or poop at me.

Should I go to the poolice?

As title states, I’m [27M] wondering if it’s a good financial decision to move out of my parents’ house. I make $150k with potential bonuses, no debt, and about $670k in retirement savings. The only reason my number is so low currently is because some unfortunate events wiped out my savings last year (I had to buy a new toothbrush). This year, I have been trying to get back on track wrt saving.

Now, my girlfriend wants to move in together, but I looked at the math, and a 2BR in my area is around $2000.

If I keep living with my parents for the next 30 years, and invest that $2000/mo in an index fund, it’ll be worth over $2m by the time I’m retirement age.

I’ve looked into switching to a lentil-only diet to save on food costs. But I’m afraid if I do this, my gf will just continue to want other things like traveling together, marriage, and children, and I don’t want to jeopardize my financial future.

I run a small business of 500 employees that travel the country to do menial tasks in small communities that undercut the local competition with cheap labour. I already make all my employees use a company businesses card that siphon all the travel points to my personal account to use for roughly 11 months of free vacations a year for myself but I just realized I've been letting my employees collect hotel points for their business travel accommodations that they can use for themselves. I pay them 100 dollars above the poverty threshold already so I think its not fair for them to get those points as a perk. I have a business to run and at the end of the day I need to eat too. Is there any way I can get those points redirected to myself?

Right now I make a modest $10 mill a year from investments, and I spend my days partying on a yacht or driving my lambos. I really want a house because I can't brag about a mansion I don't own. Problem is, the most brag-worthy mansions go for like $50 million, and it would require me to make sacrifices like selling off 10% of my Microsoft shares.

I don't really see a way to cut back. I mean, I guess I could make coffee at home, but that would only save me $1 mill a year. Not worth the hassle. I don't even know how to use a Keurig. It keeps blinking at me, and I don't know where to put the pod in.

I am unable to find one anywhere I go so that's why I came here to try my chances since there are so many of you who made it in their lives.

Is it really that hard to be a 20-24 yo tall hot man with his shit together? Like I am tired of all these fake rich 6 feet tall chad wannabee businessmen, doctors and lawyers trying to impress me with their abysmal $300-500k a year salaries... is it even a living wage by today's standards??? Like how the hell are you going to support my wants?

And I think it's refreshing, maybe it will teach them not to be entitled so much all the time. On the other hand, I'm a beliver inthe conpany you keep... if they don't hang around future doctors/lawyers / engineers, how will they progress in life?