Sup everyone! I've recently come to the realization that I am a pan romantic Ace. And I'm just looking for a community of like-minded individuals. 💙💚🧡❤️🤍🖤💜

Are you an undergraduate student who is attracted to multiple genders (e.g., bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual)? Are you currently online dating? If this sounds like you, I would like to hear from you! I am a doctoral candidate in Higher Education at Indiana University and I am conducting a digital ethnographic study on LGBTQ+ undergraduate students’ online dating (Approved IRB#23872, Indiana University-Bloomington) to better understand their experiences on campus.

For this study, I am seeking bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, and other multi-gender attracted undergraduate students who are:

• At least 18 years old
• Currently dating online (dating apps and/or social media platforms)

Activities for this study include (1) six biweekly journaling exercises focused on your online dating experiences over 12 weeks and (2) observations of your online dating/social media profiles. You will be compensated $5 for each journaling exercise completed, as well as receive $15 for observations of your social media and/or online dating profiles.

To indicate your interest in participating, please fill out this Interest Form.  Those who have completed this form and are selected to participate in the study will be contacted in October. If you have questions or concerns about participating in the study, please contact Olivia Copeland at ocopelan@iu.edu.

I know for a fact that I am a heterosexual cis male, but that I've always been some kind of queer, even though it never extended to my sexuality. A few years back, I discovered the terms homoromantic, biromantic, and panromantic. I used to think I was biromantic for awhile, however I'm starting to think I'm actually panromantic.

The way I experience it, I have a certain personality type that I'm romantically attracted to, regardless of what gender they are. This seems to fit the pan definition moreso than the bi definition based on other posts I've read here and on other subreddits.

Does this track, or am I off base? 😅

Also, this is my first Reddit post ever, so be gentle if I am off base, or if this question has been asked 1000 times. Lol.

Are you an LGBTQ+ undergraduate student? Are you currently online dating? If this sounds like you, I would like to hear from you!

I am a doctoral candidate in Higher Education at Indiana University. I am conducting a digital ethnographic study on LGBTQ+ undergraduate students’ online dating (Approved IRB#23872, Indiana University-Bloomington) to better understand their experiences on campus.

For this study, I am seeking LGBTQ+ undergraduate students who are:

• At least 18 years old
• At least in their second year of college
• Currently dating online (dating apps and/or social media platforms)

Activities for this study include (1) six biweekly journaling exercises focused on your online dating experiences over 12 weeks and (2) observations of your online dating/social media profiles during the 3-month data collection period. You will be compensated $5 for each journaling exercise completed, as well as receive $15 for observations of your social media and/or online dating profiles.

To indicate your interest in participating, please fill out this Interest Form. Those who have completed this form and are selected to participate in the study will be contacted in September-October.

If you have questions or concerns about participating in the study, please contact Olivia Copeland at ocopelan@iu.edu.

I'm 31 and a cis woman. I know I'm panromantic. That part is clear. My sexual attraction is where I'm so confused.

I am sexually aroused by all genders. I find them sexually attractive, I feel sexual arousal. But, I have a hard time envisioning sexual acts with any gender other than men, and most especially so with cis women. It's like as soon as I start creating a mental image in my mind about sex with a woman I am sexually attracted to, my sexual arousal heightens for a split second, then fully disappears, and then I feel awkward. It just feels like there's this block. It's so strange because I have had a few sexual encounters with cis women, and I reallllllly enjoyed them! For a while I thought it was internalized homophobia from my mildly Christian upbringing, but I feel no shame or guilt or something being wrong with me for being sexually attracted? Part of it I think is bodily fluids (which I have a hard time with across the board) but again, I have had sexual encounters that I did thoroughly enjoy with women and that wasn't an issue then... Those encounters occurred spontaneously and in the heat of the moment, which could be part of it cuz I feel like maybe I was able to skirt around my anxiety and second guessing? I think part of it is also body image, I do struggle with my body post 4 kids.

I'm struggling with this so hard right now bc I have a close friend of mine who I have always been very attracted to and I have come to develop deep feelings for her. I would love to develop a romantic relationship with her, but I know she enjoys sex with women so I want to make sure I know what it is I'm into, what my limits are, where I'm willing to work towards, before I even talk to her about my feelings? I can definitely have an open conversation with her about this but I don't want to overload her if I don't even understand myself! I spend two nights a week at her place bc it's closer to my school and it's gotten progressively harder for me to avoid thinking about this topic 😅

Any input would be great. Do you have ideas of what else could be creating this block? Is there anyone out there who has experienced the same or similar? Any suggestions on how to get past that block or how to approach the situation with my friend?

I'm happy to answer any questions.

Thanks 💙

I'm only asking because lately I've come to the realization that I may not be bisexual and more panromantic as I don't care what their gender is and am mostly attracted to people with beautiful personalities. The reason I ask if It's possible to be both is because I see people and sure I think they're beautiful, but I never feel attracted like sexually, until I meet someone and they attract me with their personalities and then and only then is when I feel sexually attracted and emotionally attracted. Does this make sense? I'm kinda going on a rant 🤪 I've dated a few women and been with a couple men here and there but I never truly felt like I was sexually attracted or wanted to do things unless we had a bond... can someone help me explain this confusion to myself?

Looking for some advice from people who experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction as I don't know any irl and think it might apply to me. I'm most likely on the asexual spectrum and trying to decipher whether my feeling are romantic or plutonic or if it even matters. I've never really had the urge to kiss anyone or have sex with anyone but I could imagine myself wanting to do those things while in a serious relationship (probably demisexual or something). But I do often get feelings towards people where I think that they're really cool and I want to become close with them and become a part of their life. I've had this feeling with both friends and people I've gone on dates with. The only difference with the latter being that there was a possibility of a romantic relationship, whereas I felt perfectly content with my friendships and didn't want anything to change. If it's the same basic feeling and my actions/relationship with the person is only determined by whether or not a romantic relationship *could* occur, then am I just an aromantic person who dates? Or is this feeling of wanting to be a part of someone's life romantic attraction and I actually just have small crushes on my friends? Has anyone else experienced this?

I know the pansexual flag with the heart is the most common, but I've been seeing the blue/green/orange/red one pop up as well. Is there one flag primarily being used now or are both acceptable? I want to make sure I'm using the correct one in case there a switch that I didn't know about. Thank you :)

https://preview.redd.it/dy4l5mvxtjed1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=545a213870e513ba36ebb94fd7e784bb2497e904

https://preview.redd.it/z4y7pv4ytjed1.jpg?width=5000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ac1774a70a719fa00948442713227c2e6bec51e

I'm a 36 year old nonbinary/genderfluid ace panromantic. I have about 3 people close to me, including my husband, none of which I can really talk to about this stuff. I have tried to come out to my mom several times. She doesn't understand what I'm saying, and that this is me coming out to her. She doesn't listen. I'm afraid of what my husband will say (despite my suspicions about him being ace as well). My best friend struggles with her own gender dysphoria, but she kind of pushes it deep down and doesn't really want to talk about it or hear about it. My one other friend and I just reconnected, and I don't want to come off as clingy and too familiar, I'm afraid I'll drive him away. I'm extremely shy and introverted, but also very lonely. I wish I had more friends. I haven't posted on a forum since the early 2000s, I'm too shy, so I just lurk. I'm having a really emotional day and I just had to say all this to SOMEONE. I wish I had the courage to come out to everyone I know, but for now, this will have to do. Thank you for listening.

(Mods please delete if surveys not allowed, was not in the rules, but don't want to be rude or disrespectful)

Hello lovely humans!

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So, I have identified as queer since 2017 and pansexual/queer since 2019. The last relationship before my current one with my girlfriend was with a man who is currently one of my great friends. I never really wanted to have sex with him and the more I have sex with my girlfriend, I realized that I absolutely hate penetration. So like… lesbian because I do not ever want to have sex with a penis ever again???? I do think I could fall in love with a man and non-binary person if that ever happens because gender does not matter to me but like I do not really want to have sex with any phallic things… therefore, am I a lesbian panromantic???

Hey everyone, here I am again. So as the title suggests, I am panromantic asexual.

I (25f) was talking to a friend of mine (22 f/they/them) and I told them that I have a preference for women and nonbinary people, they asked if I was pan with a preference or if I was lesbian. Of course I said pan with a preference because in the back of my mind I still like men just a little.

But the whole thing I am trying to find out is if I am still considered pan if I like women and nonbinary people? I don’t identify as being lesbian but I do very much like women and nonbinary people much more than men. For those who may be in the same situation as me, how do you identify?

Hi guys. I have identified as an aromantic asexual for some years now but I just realized I don’t have the clearest grasp on what romantic feelings are and I may be pan, not aro. So, I’m asking the question above: what is romance, and how do you experience it?

For context, I personally have never had an issue with depictions of romantic relationships. In fact, I like romance books sometimes, but I don’t think I’ve experienced the draw to be in a relationship with someone. I have experienced a want to be close to someone (like a trusting, close sort of bond) but is that romantic attraction, or just me being an affectionate person?

So, I think I'm aceflux. Would this make me panromantic or pansexual, or both?

Hi I'm only now working out at the ripe olld age of mid 40s that I'm queer. I've been trying to figure myself out for years after many failed hetero relationships where I ended all of them due to no sexual chemistry and feeling constant pressure to please a partner with sex and feeling relief when it was done for another week. Finally starting to find my true self and think I have found the label the most suits who I am...I'm not entirely against the idea of sex but don't feel the urge and never ever have. I've just craved emotional connection and deep friendship and security.

iam still exploring and haven't opened up to anyone irl. Just wondering if any of you have battled with all this confusion and been married and felt so stuck. I want to just be me and wish I was 20 again so I could start all over....

So I know I’m pan (obviously) but I have no idea if I’m ace or not. In my eyes, sex is like a take it or leave it thing. I don’t really care as long as I get the romantic aspect of a relationship (cuddling, kissing, quality time, etc). I mean sex is enjoyable although I’m not actively seeking it out. And afterwards for some reason I get really upset and feel like I’m being used as a toy. Maybe I’ve just never gotten aftercare and get hella emotional or maybe I’m just ace? I don’t really know. Any advice?

Hi, so i've been thinking for a while and i don't know what to call myself.

i don't really care what gender my partner is so i'm pan and i don't feel any sexual attraction so it'd be panromantic right? BUT i suck at romance and can't even tell the difference between flirting and being nice so what am i? could anyone help please it really confuses me.

Hello everyone! I'm a master's student in psychology and I'm collecting anonymous data for my thesis which is a research study aiming to investigate the psychological impact of any kind of discrimination one might have experienced, including gender discrimination and sexual orientation discrimination.

I would be really grateful if you could participate by filling out my survey! Thank you very much in advance! :)

This is the link to my survey for anyone who wants to help:

https://forms.gle/C7HQjkcc9cHeaLg29

Panromatic demisexual she/her here

Wasn't sure where to put this, but here goes.

My girlfriend and I have known each other since October 9th when she messaged me on Deviantart, commenting (shyly) on how she liked my fan art, especially regarding a Fireman Sam alternate universe idea I did back in 2021. She said she saw my art on Google images when she was looking up Fireman Sam fan art and that it took her 3 days to work up the nerve to message me. 3 days! I still think it's utterly adorable that she was that nervous to message me, cos I'm basically like "I'm not great prize"

So basically at the time, I was working towards a relationship with someone else in a poly relationship. We did go on one date to the museum but whenever I tried to drop stuff off to them and hang out again, something would always come up. Which is fine. I totally get it. But it made me feel like I wasn't worth the effort, I guess? Like I'd rather people be nervous with me than about me cos I have my own issues.

My girlfriend and I, our friendship grew as we swapped Fireman Sam (and other fandoms) stories and fan art and our trauma stories. I won't go into any detail, but she is truly an inspiration and the fact she gets up every day and is as sweet and loving as she is is just astounding and I could be luckier to have her.

Cue me having that "Oh, shit. I'm falling in love with her" realisation, especially when she starts talking about two guys in her life. I was so scared and cried about what I thought I was going to lose if I ever told her. I wrote a ficlet based on her calling me beautiful and making it about Sam wondering if Elvis loved him too.

That was on that Friday, then on the Sunday, I had had enough of dancing around and saying I love her without actually saying the words.

I cannot tell you how hard I cried when she said she loves me too! Like she was scared to tell me too and didn't want to ruin what I and the other person had going on.

I asked her to be my girlfriend 6th December 6:06am (her time) since she loves the number 6.

She lives in USA and I live in NZ, but we make it work.

I feel telling each other we fell in love has done nothing but strengthen our friendship. We tell each other everything and when I buy her something or for us to have in our future, I cannot help but gush to her. There are secrets I am keeping from her, but they're good ones. Like imma ask her 'marry' me 12th December 12:12pm. I say 'marry' cos she unfortunately hasn't been shown what a proper marriage should be like, so understandably she doesn't want to have a proper wedding but we've been making plans for our Commitment Ceremony. We've also been learning Welsh and Spanish (well, I have) mostly because of Fireman Sam, but turns out I have Welsh blood anyway. She has German, American and Native American ancestry so I'm learning about traditions and stuff for it. Our favourite colours are red and blue which of course combine to make purple. So for our bridesmaids, we want them to wear purple. But mostly, we're wanting a "this is so us" but also Halloween themed Commitment Ceremony. Corpse Bride is so fitting for us, especially since she loves butterflies, blue and is called Emily. One day, she'll be my Corpse Bride ❤️

TLDR: Found the person I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with on deviantart thanks to my Fireman Sam fan art

Im aromantic! Among with panromantic demiromantic asexual and Pangender Yay more lables(sarcastic)

Panromantic, Asexual, Demiromantic, and Pangender 😊. Also ill be posting here more❤💛💙(there's no pink heart so I used red)

Hii! So I couldn't find an demipanRomantic flag only panromantic and demiSexual one. So I was wondering if some of you found one that fits this :D Thank you even if you just see this comment

I would be with any gender and have no preference and only like people based on personality, if I think someone looks attractive and I talk to them and they're nice I could be romanticly interested but where I feel the demi comes in as I need a emotional bond for sexual attraction, so does this label fit me?

I am ace, and I think I might be pan/bi as well, however I’m not sure. The reason I’m here is because I was as stated in the title, trying to get a good answer for this from Google, and it just confused me more.

It was my understanding (I have no idea if I’m actually correct) that people who were bi could be attracted to anyone who identified as any one gender, but weren’t attracted to people who didn’t (agender, gender fluid), and that people who were pan were attracted to people, and gender just didn’t factor in.

But on one particular article I saw, it said that people who were bi could also be attracted to people who didn’t identify as a gender, so now I’m just confused because I thought that this was the only defining factor between the two, and I felt like this was the best place to ask.