I’m 45. I have a wife I love who is awesome. I have three healthy kids. I have really good friends. I make a good living.

None of that changes the fact that I am tired of existing. I’m outrageously fortunate and I am still looking for the exit door. I won’t do it, to be clear. My desire to love others exceeds my desire to go. But can anyone else feel this? Any of you just hoping for a meteorite strike? I don’t want to keep doing this.

I’ve had so many changes in my life and I haven’t been able to keep friends. We’ve all kind of made our own paths and moved on with our lives. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m stuck but damn it is so hard to make friends! I frowned upon Greek life in college bc for one I’m introverted and secondly (back then) I thought it was ridiculous to buy your friends. My only friends are family and I’m ok with that…ALTHOUGH I would love to be able to have that 1 or 2 besties to share my random thoughts with and laugh and make time for one another. Is that too much to ask?

So I embarrassingly shared a thought with my brother yesterday (bc he’s a IT guy) and just asked is it expensive to make an app? He was interested to hear my idea and I was like WELL it’s kind of an introvert idea…what about a dating app for “just friends”?

I’m just curious…am I the only one struggling with this issue? In addition, my social skills have diminished over these past couple of years (acting as if I was a social genius before🤣). 🤷🏻‍♀️

Turned 41 a few months ago. I’m pretty active, I go to the gym and play adult sports multiple times a week.

Over the last month or so I can’t stand up without pain in both knees.

My 40s are hitting me hard!

I've been seeing a guy for 6 months (ish) and we went to breakfast earlier this week. He's a great guy, smart, financially secure, attractive, and we're physically compatible. For several months I've been feeling like (even though he's wonderful!) he's just not my person.

We discussed this at breakfast. He told me he thought he couldn't ever be my person and that I wasn't his person, either. Painful, sure, but a necessary conversation.

I saw him a couple nights ago and we continued our conversation. He said that we're SUCH a good match in so many ways that we NEED to try to make it work. I disagreed since we've both already recognized that we aren't the other person's "person".

Anyone have any input? He's right, we match in so many ways! And if I stop seeing him I'm going to miss him. And... I don't want to have to look for another relationship.

I’ve been single for about a year now and it’s definitely not the same as in my 20’s. Not a lot of people to hang out with since they spend time with their spouses, and now knowing that I’m most likely not going to have some 50th wedding anniversary just sort of, sucks. Plus the idea of getting to know a new person all over again seems like a lot.

Edit- focused on my own life, kept busy, didn’t deny having lonely moments either though. Said no to a whole lot of dates, willing to not compromise what I truly wanted. Been in a loving, fulfilling relationship for a couple months now. When it was the right one it didn’t feel like work getting to know them

I never had them until I was 40 years old. Im 44. I've noticed my pains that I've had since my 20's from broken bones feel like they can't possibly get any worse, but they do every year. Is this also true with allergies?

Hi everyone, I'm looking for people from a wide range of backgrounds (18+, UK based) to take part in a survey for my university project - takes 10-15mins. The survey explores the effects of personal traits and characteristic on behaviour intentions - the topics covered will hopefully be of some interest to all, relating to current political discourse on issues impacting society. I'd really appreciate anyone who can take the time to complete it. https://ntupsychology.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_b4vNiG0RMVQJICa

I read an article a while back that said there was a significant rise in suicide in males above 50. The reason being that there wasn't much to look forward to in life at that point, their professional life had peaked, and they didn't want to deal with the drudgery of turning old (health, etc.).

Do people find it common for the daily life to feel more like a chore as the days wear on? I'm in my late 40's and have a lot to be thankful for - I have decent health, make a reasonable living, married, son, etc. but just finding each day a little more difficult than the one before.

Trust me, I'm not suicidal by the least (so please don't post numbers to help lines, etc.) but I've found working from home the last 2 years to wear on me. Maybe it's the weather (I live in a colder climate), or maybe just the general state of affairs in the world.

I guess I'm finding it more difficult to find the 'joy' in things that I used to get joy out of.

Hello reddit. 44yr old lady here. My boyfriend passed away in August so I've been pretty isolated and anti social. I finally feel like I should dip my toe in the water of making friends. I moved back to the West Coast, Reno Nevada after spending 11 years in Pennsylvania. I don't know anybody out here anymore and I've been kind of lonely. Just looking for nice people to chat with.

And here I thought getting older would magically give me more ability to plan ahead and get organized but no all it means for me is that random parts of my body just stop working for a little while and then if I'm lucky they start up again LOL

I'm having trouble deciding whether I'm a complete old fart or what. Do you lot feel the same? I have a family and responsibilities and in order to go out, it has to be done right. There are certain things and places I'm just not willing to do, or go....unlike the younger version of me.

40+ yr old me ain't standing in a line at a "club". I'm NOT paying cover charge. I'm not traveling an hour in each direction to go to a place; that's 2 hrs out of my evening when I could be out or home. I'm not bar hopping looking for the next scene to be seen at. It's a waste of time. And I'm sure as shit not crashing at a friend's place and sharing a bed. I'm over 40. I have MY PILLOW AND MY OWN GODDAMN BED.

I need to be home by a certain time - not because my partner demands it, but because I have a family that needs me to be present the next day, and THEY sure as shit don't sleep in. I don't want to waste the rest of the next day, too! Mamma has shit to do.

I LOVE going dancing, and I'm fun once out, but all of it seems too bloody difficult.

I'm supposed to be going out this weekend. The plan was a local place that plays live music. Now the others (who share custody and don't have to worry about kids the next day) want to travel to another town to a club. Like a CLUB. Cover charge, Strobe lights, dj, No one over 25 yrs old shit.

Is this just me? I haven't been to a club since I was 27. Could die happily never seeing the inside of another.

I become a mom for the first time 4 days before my 44th birthday.

Any other over 40 first time moms out there?

Basically, despite being born in 1980 I haven’t moved into 21C apart from technology. Movies, music, etc all still 20th century!

My 43rd birthday is coming up next month. The last two years have been filled with so many lows dotted with just a couple of highs. I lost both of my parents, had to get a permanent protection order against my son's father, had drastic falling out with my siblings, but did manage to buy a house for my son and I so we have that. I tried dating for the first time in almost 12 years last year, and Lord have mercy, what nightmares that created.

As a single mom, my birthdays have usually been non-events, so this year, headed to be in a training school for it so maybe I'll feel a little less that it's just another day. I feel lonely a lot, haven't connected much with other moms as I had my son late (most of my friends had them right after high school). I just really thought I'd be in a different place at this point in my life.

Thanks for letting me vent.

So I see these for turning 20 or turning 30 and thought well I guess im at a point to ask it.

So what would you do differently if you were 40 again, what advice do you have for me assuming good health I have 20 years or so of working time left and I have no interest to do what im doing now for 20 years. F That just playing catch up on not working much in my 20's

All input appreciated

I was the same stupid way, but it shocks me now. Was on the smoking cessation hotline a few weeks ago. The counselor sounded in her 20s. First, she misheard my date of birth. She thought I said 1994. When I corrected her that it's 1974, she was like, "Ooooh," and I could tell that it completely shifted her perception of who I was. Later in the same call, she asked if I was familiar with text messaging! I said yes (with heavy subtext of wtf is that question) and she said, "Oh that's great!" Like it's so commendable for a 47 year old to be making such a brave effort to keep up with the times. I guess this is ageism, huh? It is a little depressing to think this is just the start. I look young, so don't get treated this way in person, though I suppose I should be ready for that to change.

I served about 10 years in the military. Non-combated, maintenance-type job. Got out to move closer to my kid and attend college. Ended up getting my MBA and landing a entry level office Federal job. Thing is I am miserable! It's so boring. Just emails, program management, and data entry type crap. And now we have to report to the office by January 2022, so I am about to drop a few grand on a move, a deposit on a place to live, and then rent that is about 3 times more expensive.

I have about $10K in savings and get about $1400 per month in VA disability. Live in a part of the country where rent is fairly inexpensive.

Am I nuts to quit while I try to find something else?

Are hobbies less enjoyable as we get older or is it side-effect of other things in life?

I'm not sure whether it's sleep deprivation, work stress, housework, the fact that my path in life is more limited, ..or simply just getting physically older in general, but I tend to enjoy hobbies less. So much so that I don't do anything besides game and watch TV. Picking up my old guitar almost feels childish and meaningless to me now.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a solution? I just had a moment were I felt a drop of inspiration to draw but my mind expects it to be boring once I start.

Why would I bother to draw a fruit bowl? But maybe it becomes enjoyable with more practice out? The kids out there have me believing that I should enjoy any hobby from the start, but I'm not sure what to believe.

I'll try to make this brief...

Military veteran who went to school for a Poly Sci degree. Graduated and worked in procurement for a few years. Eventually got a job doing budgets for a federal agency, while working on my MBA. Did not like analyzing budgets, so I took a job with another agency doing HR staffing. After moving for that job, I found the office to be overworked and understaffed, and I found the job repetitive and monotonous. And I was the only one in the office with a college degree. So, I applied for a Fed job managing grants and have been working with the agency for about 6 months now. But...I hate it. It's nothing but sending emails and checking forms and logging info into systems. Rinse and repeat.

And now, due to the waning of the pandemic, Fed workers are returning to the office. This means I need to move again next month, so I can be ready to end telework and return to an office. This means I have to move across the country in a month. I just find the work so unfulfilling and I find my focus and attention wanes, which doesn't ingrain me to my supervisors as I come across as a slacker or average employee.

Has anyone known a job just isn't for them shortly after taking it? How did you cope with the difficulty in focusing and learning the job? Are you good career tests anyone recommends?

I've checked all the boxes but just feel so empty. I am too old to just quit, but a part of me wants to just put everything in storage and live off my $1,400 VA disability until I figure something out. Instead, I'm on this track to relocate to a part of the country where the rent is 3X the rate it is here, and then I'll feel even more "stuck" I fear.

Every day is a struggle to stay positive and find a reason to keep going. Not feeling like taking my life but just empty. I know that people kill for these government jobs, but I hate the thought of doing this for another 30 years until retirement. I've taken those career tests but nothing really appeals to me. And now I feel too old to start over. Just wish I could pause and figure out a path.

Realize this post is all over the place, but I just feel lost and locked into a job(s) I really won't ever truly succeed at.

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