Has anyone experienced a feeling of general apathy that you figured out was associated with phone use? I'm at a career crossroads and am finding that I really don't care about much at all, I don't have much of an attention span, and have pretty much lost interest in things I was previously passionate about. I know it could be chalked up to depression which, it probably is, but the thing is, I don't actually HAVE any obvious reason to be depressed. The only thing I can think of is that problematic phone use might be sapping my brain of motivation.

Would welcome any and all ideas / suggestions / advice. This really HAS to stop and I need to get my life back on track. Thanks in advance 🙏

I was looking for some advice here.

I plan on leaving my phone at home and setting business hours for it starting in the new year. I have realized that I am over stimulated with always being connected and have made moves to get a music player and a point and shoot camera to bring with me when I’m out and about.

My question is, do I make a voice mail stating that I’m available from x-y hours or do I just say “hey this is desolation, sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message and I will get back to you when I’m available.” ?

Sorry if this isn’t the right forum for this question. I just didn’t know where else to ask this.

These motivational videos are just nothing but literally unethical advice, that do more harm than good infact.

Some of them radicalise others. For example, there is this user called Balkan Gains who mainly shows women (most are white and blonde) only doing bad things and men the good things, as if all men do good stuff and otherwise for women?? It literally radicalises everyone to think that modern white women are all "filthy whores" etc as I saw recent vids of him discussing 23 yo Lily Phillips. Lmao, if all of the women are like that then A, why was there a 22 year old woman (also blonde and white) being a teacher in the GCSE Art Department back at school? She would've just done onlyfans instead if the monolithic view is true. And half of my school would be expelled due to it, but its not the case as obviously not every are like this.

It follows the npc of "Guy cheats, yay girl cheats nay" (not literally saying cheating is good, but seeing how these types praise what the man does, whether its ethical or not and badly generalising every women as bad after seeing one is shocking).

Like, aren't motivational videos supposed to motivate others to achieve their goals and boost their life the ethical way???

Tips and advice online is just so absurd.

Hi! As the title suggests, I’m looking for advice on how to maintain a social life without relying on the internet. I’m on the younger side, and I get most of my information about parties, clubs, and events online.

I’ve seen people mention that their social lives take a hit after stepping away from the internet, but I’ve also heard others say their relationships improve. However, I haven’t come across much discussion specifically about how to maintain or build a party/night life offline.

Any tips or advice?

Yes Tiktok is a horrible place and all those dumb challenges hurt people, and short videos are bad for you, and online debates are meaningless.

But if one stays offline, there's no way of knowing that these things are happening.

Is it ignorance is bliss at that point?

Do I need to know about the next dangerous challenge? Do I need to know who is top YouTuber?

How do I stop information addiction?

I found myself getting into this after Andrew Tate started going viral. At first time I saw him he looked like some one else "The devil" or "Anton LaVey".

I did some research and found a YouTube channel that talked about it. The channel kept exposing all these "truths" and "facts" about the Illumina*i and Freemason*y (I added the * just in case it’s not allowed here).

Now, I’m really, really deep into this rabbit hole, and I don’t see myself getting out anytime soon. The weird part is, the more I learn, the more I want to stop but I just can’t. I keep discovering new things, and honestly, it’s all crazy.

They “prove” things that make me think it’s all set up, but when they connect it with Gematria and numerology, my mind feels like it’s going to explode from the amount of data they present.

I even took a nap today, and guess what? I dreamed about this stuff, too.

As I’m writing this, I realize I might need help. I know people will say, “just stop searching,” but the amount of hidden stuff I’ve uncovered feels so insane that it’s hard to just quit.

Has anyone else gone through this rabbit hole and managed to stop? I really wish there was a button to delete all this from my mind.

My husband and I go away for two weeks in the summer to a beautiful beach town with family and friends. My first day there this summer I realized that it’s not normal to have what amounts to violent mood swings in the course of a day from scrolling news. Before I have my first cup of coffee, I’m reading that democracy’s is dying and despite my best efforts, I’m killing the earth anyway. Fear, sadness and disgust, then I go to the beach to have fun. How can my brain experience despair and then go fully appreciate love and beauty? I quit the news for the rest of the trip and had the best time I’ve ever had there. In October, I made it permanent.

I had the app glitch and managed to uninstall app block two weeks ago on my phone and I've done nothing but doom scroll and browse the Internet maninglessly. Almost like I am trying to distract myself endlessly with no end goal or goal at all.

I've also had car troubles and lots of flats. Now I got another one despite changing wheels two weeks ago

If anyone has a recommendation for extensions on any browser that blocks websites after a certain number of visits you put yourself, please let me know!

I’m trying to break away from some toxic online communities, but I’m struggling to break the mindset that constantly exposing myself to the opinions of thousands of strangers who don’t care if I live or die is anything other than self harm. In bed scrolling before I go to sleep, before and after class, at my break at work, just after I wake up in the morning etc etc there’s never any break because the information is never ending.

These communities seem to believe that staying informed means keeping up with every discussion (no matter how bad faith or meaningless), every world tragedy, every influencer who does something unfashionable, every idiot who has something to say, every bigot or angry person who wants me to die etc etc. It’s my duty to see everything.

But I’m a human. I want to be a human. And humans are not meant for this. It’s bizarre to think that, despite how important this all feels, if I turn the screen off it all melts away and doesn’t exist anymore. It doesn’t matter if someone across the country wants me to kms. I’m here, and they’re not. I’m safe.

Yet I don’t know how to escape the moralizing. Why do I care whether these communities think I’m a good or bad person? I’m the only one who can see through my eyes. Yet it seems like this mindset has invaded my head. Like this moralizing online jerk has snuck in through my ear and feeds me mean comments directly into my brain, no screen needed.

I guess it’s normal to want to be a good person. But reading everything that every person has ever thought ever is not an effective way to do so. All it does is torture me, scare me, run me in circles, and make me feel like every moment is a life or death scenario. I deserve to feel safe. I deserve to rest. Every human does.

When I finally tracked myself, I realize that from when I wake to when I go to bed I am spending 90% of my time doing some form of useless consumption, this is DURING work hours as well (I have a WFH job, which makes it that might tougher). I am always connected to the online world, I struggle to find just 10 minutes for daily meditation and an hour for the gym/writing. It's so pathetic between my smartphone and my laptop (and even my work laptop I browse YouTube BS on there a lot too).

I genuinely don't know how to break the routine and I'm scared at this point because I've wasted god knows how many years, pretty much my whole 20s not living up to my potential. My attention span is absolutely SHOT and I feel anxious/nervous in the real world now, and not to mention I struggle with r/nofap as well which is the WORST. I'm in therapy and unfortunately that hasnt' helped, I could get adderall but that just seems like a bandage solution - not sure what to do.

TLDR: I'm f-ed and have a WFH job and this is how I've been wasting my life and I CANNOT disconnect for the life of me

The Shallows came out in 2011. Carr was prophetic with the book. He cited tons of recent research at the time but now it’s 14 years later and the scientific world has begun to change its tune on technology a big. Are there any similar books published more recently with more updated research, or perhaps a blog post or article detailing the same?

Thanks.

Is my surfing habit killing my reading comprehension? I am on like Chapter 7 of Smart Phone, Dumb phone and I can barely remember anything from the first six chapters. I have been reading every night for like the past 3 months (I usually have 2-3 books going at once) but don't remember anything from the books I have read. What's the point in reading ? I do like reading but wonder if it is a waste

While phone addiction isn’t currently classified as a disorder in the DSM-5, it’s becoming increasingly clear that excessive phone/internet use shares many characteristics with recognized behavioral addictions.

By adapting the framework for determining other addictive behaviors, I’ve created this handy self-assessment so that you can be more conscious of your own relationship with technology, and (if needed) use the results to create an action plan for how to approach your use more intentionally.

https://open.substack.com/pub/apolloanderson/p/am-i-addicted-to-my-phone?r=m1j0d&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

NOTE: I am not a medical professional, and the results of this self-assessment are not intended to provide a medical diagnosis or replace professional advice. This tool is designed for personal reflection and awareness of potential behaviors associated with phone overuse.

Attended an in person Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous group last night and it wasn’t as freaky as I expected it to be.

I wish I had never listened to posts made by previous Redditors and just attended the meeting to develop my own opinion forever ago.

It was cool to hear success stories, helped me define what addiction means to me, and I’m attending a workshop to start working on the 12 steps today.

Someone said it gives culty vibes and I could see where that’s coming from. It definitely gives like “church” vibes in the sense that they use words like fellowship and say a prayer. The prayer isn’t to god though which I love. But half of the people I was in the meeting with were atheists and the other half didn’t seem religious except for one.

All in all being in an irl room full of people of all ages who experience the same thing as me made me feel less like an internet psycho freak.

I’d suggest people try it really. I’ll post updates the farther into the program I get :)

Made it 23 whole days without watching any youtube. Woohoo!!

The days are feeling longer and more satisfying. I've finished my 4th book in 1 month.

Here's to another week and 1 full month without.

Like the rest of you, I hate what scrolling does to my brain and mood.

I just got discord for the first time and chatted with some people about a topic i'm into.

But I feel the same...it's like this high-voltage energy in my system. It's not comfortable.

I shut my laptop but then realized that it's socializing that i crave, not the hobbies or interests. However, digital socializing sucks. But leaving home also sucks.

I'm just complaining.

I built something that helped fix my anxiety from news headlines, and I want to share it. I was tired of having panic attacks every time I opened news sites, so I created a simple web app that takes those dramatic headlines and shows what's actually happening - with historical context that helps you understand why things often aren't as scary as they seem. The historical context is my fav feature because when I'd read a headline like "Country X launches intercontinental ballistic missile" I got scared shitless that the world is ending, where as it was a non-casualties event in the form of sabre-rattling. Yes, it's still horrible, but at least no one died or the world is not ending.

I know self-promotion posts can be annoying, but this is truly just me wanting to share something that helped me personally. It's completely free, no ads, no tracking, no signup - just a tool I built for myself that I hope can help others who struggle with news anxiety too. If sharing this isn't allowed here, I completely understand. But if you're interested, you can find it at https://brevityreport.com.

I downloaded Stay free a while ago and uninstalled it. Today I reinstalled it but I couldn't find the Limits on the go function. Is there an app which has a alternative feature?

Thanks!

Hi, I'm new to this community. I find myself, like many, surfing the internet aimlessly for hours despite having things to study/work on, etc.

This may seem silly but reading up news and articles (like wikipedia pages, etc.) makes me more knowledgeable (I think) and I owe the success I've had in quiz competitions and popularity in social gatherings to my unproductive surfing.

But there's work I need to do, a schedule to follow, projects to get done, stuff to study. This is not like porn or social media FOMO because I have a legit reason on why I think I'll miss out if I cut out my internet usage. What do you think?

A fair day to all! In my half assed attempts to go offline I often thought about Marshall McLuhan’s famous (is it that famous?) quote. The technologies that communicate change us.

What if anything does this phrase mean to you? There have been many honest efforts made by people to put this subtle change on our psyches into words. One I like a lot is made by Mark Bauerlien, but then he starts veering of into waters I don’t like as much, I think, I will admit I often don’t listen to everything till the very end.

I'm the first one to say it

I'm watching a lot more DVDs that I thought I would. I'm just flying through TV shows that have 4-6 seasons and 90+ minute long movies because there aren't any commercials or 'Skip Intro' button to distract me.

I'm enjoying a variety of my hobbies every day. Because I use the Internet to listen to music, write comments, keep up with the news, and watch niche hobby videos, I'm doing multiple hobbies to fill up my time with the goal of being productive. I've begun journaling again. My sketchbook is getting new sketches every day. Fanfiction is actually very fun to do offline. Surprisingly, I've realized I have outgrown a lot of my CDs.

Actually cooking/baking something takes up a lot more time than I had expected. If I start baking cookies at 2:00, it'll be 4:00 by the time all of them are out of the oven, ready to be eaten, and every last one of the baking equipment is cleaned.

I am trying not to give up youtube but I am really pissed off. Like 8 out of the first 10 videos youtube recommends me always have negative titles and I keep hitting "don't recommend this channel" but the next day it seems like they keep recommending similar stuff.

When I first pulled up youtube on my tv a few minutes ago, the first video recommended was "What life looks like later in life if you don't have kids", which I felt that video was probably gonna try to bait people into having kids out of fear of being alone. I hate seeing shit like that.

I like youtube but I am considering cutting it out or significantly reducing.

This is NoSurf. What makes you want to log off?

Sure some people do it because it can lead to making money, but the weird stuff people do: stupid challenges, stupid dances, pranks, random weird stuff in public in the hopes that someone records them and they'll become famous is just shocking and pretty depressing.

Especially on Tiktok where people engage in dangerous behavior for the sole purpose of getting attention from random people.

How is this okay?

For those who don't know, SORA is OpenAIs video generation model - which can generate hyper-realistic videos. "AI slop" has run rampant since the advent of ChatGPT, with highly addictive content being much easier to generate using basic scripting. Rather than having to hand-craft content, this allows you to "spray and pray" that a video will gain traction and suck in viewers.

You might've noticed--or not noticed--creators you enjoy have replacing their voice overs with high-fidelity AI replacements. Automated AI generated music channels are raking in tens of millions of views. People are automating entire channels from threads on Reddit, or making "video essays" by auto-generating content. As SORA makes landfall and is made available to the masses, please be on the lookout for this type of content. Whether it be to disinform, misinform, or to simply trap your attention.

Unfortunate where the internet has ended up.

I recently finished (well, not all of it, I skipped two chapters and need to go back) the book Bad News: What the Headlines Don't Tell Us by Mark Pack. In the book, he dissects traditional print and newer online media and the drivers of those who provide it.

I've read a lot of books about the news and online media over the years including Stop Reading the News by Rolf Dobelli, The Outrage Industry by Jeff Barry, The News by Alain de Botton, Fake News by Paul Levinson etc. but this book by Mark Pack made everything just click.

Reddit and other social media have a lot of issues with providing information: Upvote mechanics ensure that outrage instead of info becomes the top stories, bots can drive engagement in certain things, headlines of stories act as snapshots - not in depth info, filter bubbles can be created that divide average people etc. etc.

However, the unique thing that I really like about Mark's book is that he states that the race for presenting stories has really sped up in the digital age to the point where journalists and many of us online don't care how accurate a story is. We just care about being first. As a result, many of us end up hearing lies and half-truths that then spread rapidly (for instance, the "deny, defend, depose" words on the bullets in the recent United Healthcare CEO story have never been confirmed by police and came from a "source" from the Associated Press, we won't likely know if this is actually real until months later in court filings; by that time tons of merch with these words is going to sell).

Mark suggests that real understanding of the world comes from reflection on more complete stories. For that, we need time. He suggests listening to long-form podcasts, long-form articles and other things that come out weeks to months after an event happens - when the true story really gets out and is fleshed out in more detail. He also mentions the Delayed Gratification magazine, which I haven't tried yet but I am going to see how it is.

I was recently thinking about the war in Syria the other day because it showed up on my feed. But the wiki on The Syrian War tells me wayyyy more about the overall conflict and history than a headline on Reddit or meme has told me.

As Mark says, social media has its place in informing you. Its place is being a sugar rush, like cheap chocolate. It can make you aware of something happening (I would never give up the weather report) and give you dopamine when you encounter outrage but it doesn't really give you anything of substance and a lot of time it partially mischaracterizes something (and sometimes completely mischaracterizes something). Personally, I think Reddit and other social media can be wonderful for some things - I've found it super useful while traveling; for asking questions about certain health or food products; for sharing community in deeply niche subcultures; and seeing some really amazing art. But no matter what I do, I end up seeing news posted in almost every subreddit that just distracts me and the design of sites like Reddit (the scrolling, bright interfaces, outrage upvoting etc.) makes me powerless to resist it sometimes, especially after a long day of work.

I recognize that this isn't a willpower thing. It has been designed for me to fail.

From now on I'm going to spend way less time on here and just read news later in long-form stuff, ask questions of various subreddits when I need helpful advice, and get my entertainment through Japanese BlueSky (I learned a foreign language to help me access news from another country), video games, and things I like. I'm going to stop using Reddit as entertainment that misinforms me.

TL/DR: News is being produced so fast in online social media that we never get the actual truth. It's not until weeks or months later that all the facts come out that help us actually understand the world better. I'm going to be spending a lot less time on here because I've found it really misinforms me compared to long-form media (podcasts, books etc. that come out weeks or months after stories happen).

Good news: I installed "Lock Me Out," and it's working great.

Bad news: I feel an excruciating boredom at work. I've always been aware of this, but my beloved smartphone helped me to distract myself.

Nosurfers, how do you cope with boredom (at work)?