Hi Reddit,

I’m in a tough spot with my university and could really use some advice. I recently submitted a formal Title IX complaint because I believe I was discriminated against due to pregnancy-related needs. Long story short, I was penalized 25 points on a midterm exam for submitting it late, even though the delay was caused by a necessary medical appointment (an ultrasound). Despite notifying my professor in advance and explaining my situation, I was given no accommodations or flexibility.

I met with the professor to discuss the penalty, but she refused to reconsider and made some dismissive comments during the meeting. When I brought this up with higher administration, I was essentially told to work it out with the professor, which left me feeling unsupported. As a result, I had to withdraw from the course to avoid failing, which has delayed my graduation by an entire year.

Now, I’m petitioning to take a practicum course out of sequence to minimize the additional coursework required. I’m also hoping to negotiate with the university for some kind of financial compensation to offset the costs this situation has caused. These include transportation, childcare, and tuition for the extra semester I’ll need, as well as the income I’m losing because I can’t take on full-time work.

Here’s where I need advice: 1. Should I try to negotiate with the university myself, or would it be smarter to hire a lawyer to handle this? 2. If I go it alone, how can I make a strong case to persuade the university to offer compensation for these costs? 3. Has anyone successfully gotten their university to pay for these kinds of expenses, and if so, what worked for you?

I’m really passionate about completing my social work degree, and this whole situation has been emotionally draining and financially stressful. I want to handle this as effectively as possible without making the situation worse.

Any advice, tips, or insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance

Over the weekend, I witnessed something in the toy section of my local Target that left me both in awe and stunned. As someone who has worked at a law school for nearly 18 years, I couldn’t help but marvel at the intricate skills on display from children ranging from elementary age to pre-teens.

These kids were forging alliances, using complex math on the fly, presenting arguments, countering with rebuttals, and solidifying oral agreements—all within moments. Conferences were held in hushed tones, negotiations were concise but impactful, and decisions were swiftly conveyed to parents. The level of strategic thinking and negotiation rivaled any classroom or boardroom scenario I’ve seen.

One particular situation caught my attention:

A mother entered with two siblings—one older, one younger—whose body language suggested they didn’t usually get along. The older sibling wanted an expensive toy, while the younger sibling wanted a slightly less expensive one. Mom, however, made it clear that buying both items exclusively for each child wasn’t an option. A compromise would have to be reached.

The siblings conferred quietly, then returned with their first proposal: they would share the expensive toy the older sibling wanted, while the younger sibling would settle for just their desired toy. They assured their mother this arrangement was “fair” and that everyone would be happy. Mom wasn’t convinced. She pointed out that they had made similar promises before and failed to follow through. She declined.

Undeterred, the siblings held another conference. This time, their promises were delivered with heartfelt assurances. They vowed that this time would be different and emphasized their sincerity. Their persistence and cooperative front paid off—Mom finally relented, and both children got what they wanted.

Of course, anyone observing could tell the likelihood of them actually sharing was slim. But the process was a masterclass in negotiation: assessing interests, crafting proposals, managing objections, and closing the deal. Watching it unfold felt like witnessing a miniature version of a high-stakes legal mediation in action!

Suppose I want to buy iPhone from China,how much VAT am I going to pay?

I'm going to some flea markets soon. Do you have any negotiating and bargaining tips, on how I can get the sales people to come down to a price I want?

Hi Everyone,

Looking for some guidance please.

We bought a house in 2016 which was a repo.

After the purchase the vendor's solicitor got in contact with us to say that they forgot to sell a small piece of land at the back of the garden to us. They offered it to us for £1 plus admin fees. We replied to them too late as by then they had returned the title back to the original owners.

The plot has a public path behind it and is small so can't be built on. Really it only has value to us, as it makes our garden bigger. We encompassed the land with a fence and have been using it as part of our garden.

Recently the original owner has been in contact asking for us to pay for the land otherwise they will put a fence around it.

We intend to purchase it from them but want some advice on negotiating a good price.

The originally purchased the price for £4000 in 2008. They are asking for a reasonable offer taking this into account and any fees. This may seem reasonable but we are the only person they can sell it to. However they might be difficult enough to fence it off....

Any advice is welcome!

Here is some ideas for cost saving and negotiation items.

Negotiation strategies

Hi all,

I am a fresher , just 1 year in the company. I got salary hike of 23%. Still did not receive the revised offer letter.

My peers and friends got 40% hike in other projects.

How do people actually negotiate in this scenario?

I know I have worked on lots more features and things compared to my peers, created entire test app for the directly used production ready products also.

How will you proceed in this scenario?

(Story) Was headed back from work yesterday. The roads were in blizzard conditions where a car veered over the median and collided head onto mine. (Discovered driver had bald tires, driver was young without license)

Checked in with driver, found out she was ok, but didn’t speak english. I Called Police/Towing, She called her family over. We used a translator to discuss the wreck. Police filed me not at fault, gave a case number and suggested talking with insurance.

(Details) Talked with Geico and found out I was covered for nearly everything… Except Uninsured motorist Property Damage… (Have Uninsured motorist which covers bodily injury but not anything else) After discussing the issue from all angles, the agent shot the truth to me straight and told me I may just be screwed…

Her Family at the crash offered to pay for my vehicle, but I fear the negotiation next morning knowing the minor leverage I feel like I have. Knowing much of this is unenforceable…

(Story) Talked with a close friend (33M) later that night and let him know I couldn’t make it on a trip we had planned together. I Let him know the details where he said (ignoring the trip) Have you contacted the father back yet?” I responded with how I wasn’t sure how to communicate effectively because of the language barrier. He volunteered “I speak Spanish, I could translate between you two would you like to call him right now?” I merged a phone call and negotiated to meet up with the father that night (This all happened same-day)

He drove me to the meet up spot where he helped me negotiate a rental car, payment for tow truck and a new vehicle with the father. He urged for me to solve the issue soon and not draw on issue longer than it has to before the other party loses interest. At this point I’m astounded with the help I’ve received from him. (He showed care for the family and made a good impression and helped me get a better offer than I thought I’d receive.)

(Details) I’m meeting with the father tomorrow alone with to go arrange for a rental car until the car replacement problem is solved. I’m meeting with the father again a some time later to decide between a couple similar car replacements. (Had a 2017 Hyundai Elantra)

Had put a lot of work to finish paying off my vehicle early and am not in a place to start off another big car payment right now

TL:DR At fault/uninsured motorist crashed into me and totaled my car. Looking for help to negotiate with motorist family to offset cost of the accident effectively.

I worry that I may get lowballed or ghosted. Any suggestions on further communication? Is there any leverage I have in this situation?

I just got a job offer for an editor position. The offer is for $74,000 USD.

• There is no annual pay raise or merit-based bonuses.
• My commute will be an hour and they don't allow you to work from home.

At my previous company, I got $73,700 per year with an annual KPI-based bonus, which was typically around $6,000 each year, so about $80,000 per year. I also got a 3–5% pay raise every year (3% if I did my job; more than 3% if I exceeded my KPIs). This was for a writer position, which is a step below an editor, which is what the new role will be.

So my base salary is about the same, except I got about a $6,000 bonus each year at my previous job and this job does not do bonuses. There's also no annual pay raise process, so I will be stuck at whatever salary I accept. The lack of formalized annual raise irks me.

The market rate for editor positions can be all over the place. The original job listing listed the pay range as $65,000–$90,0000. I don't think I can negotiate other things like PTO. They emphasized their great benefits at several points during the interview process, even alluding a couple times to how the benefits package compensates for a lower-end salary. In my opinion, the benefits are ordinary except for two things that standout:

• it's employee owned, after one year of employment you become eligible for the profit sharing retirement plan
• Tuition reimbursement after two years so long as the program has to do with your job. Your spouse and children are all eligible for tuition reimbursement too, and they'll pay up to the amount of whatever the University of Illinois is charging that year. So man, that is AMAZING for people who have kids! However, I am 36, single and already have a masters, so even if I were to meet someone and make a bunch of babies, I wouldn't be able to take advantage of that benefit for 20 years.

What is a reasonable counteroffer to their $74,000/year?

Hi All,

I'm seeking some insight on negotiating a salary with an internal promotion. I currently work at a large nonprofit/think tank as the Director of Government Contracts. I have recently been offered a promotion to oversee all institutional giving, which means I will be in charge of both the government and foundation funds my organization receives. With this title change, HR offered a 5% raise, which in my general research is quite low. The market indicates that a promotion with significant new responsibilities should be around 10-20%. This is my first time negotiating a salary with an internal promotion. Below is the body of the letter I intend to send to my boss--I would appreciate specifically on order and structure, but welcome thoughts on content as well!

1. Introduction: Thank you for the offer, my length of time at org and how much I enjoy working here/aligning with the mission. Note that you would like to discuss salary.

2. Justification

• Accomplishments in current role
• Increased responsibilities with new position (Adding foundations in addition to government contracts and supervising an additional person)
• Market Research for comparable roles culminating in a request for a 15% raise (rather than HR offered 5%)

3. Strategic Vision for the Role

4. Fundraiser Retention (my boss requested I put this in)

5. Closing

Thank you!

Basically I've just been saying "yes, I like it here" but what I'd rather say is "yeah work is work and I have to do it but I'm freaking stoked to come here rather than so many of the toxic workplaces out there. I'm being challenged in a healthy way, my boss actually cares about me, and I'm not being overloaded. It's fantastic here"

I just worry a little that if I'm overly enthusiastic they might feel like they can offer me whatever and I'll take it. That I'm throwing out my leverage of "being able to go somewhere else" if you know what I mean?

I think this is especially true for introverted individuals whose social battery wears down quickly.

You could have the best negotiation "technique" in the world, but it's so ridiculously easy to start making concessions once you start getting drained and are willing to say almost anything to just leave/get things over with...

What do you think?

Email magic from Never Split the Difference

Hi, I hope you’re doing well. I want to know how would you handle having to explain to a customer that your product will be ready to install in a time frame they consider unreasonable.

I’m a woodworker and my manufacturing process takes time, I don’t have items in stock since I work custom projects.

One of the most contentious points when negotiating is always the time. I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses, I’d like to have a proactive and positive response that allows me to explain why a project will take X number of weeks.

Thank you

Im going into an interview this week for a Lead role in starting up Engineering support with SUE. Company has the work load and is subbing out the work for SUE. I had my first interview and all is good; and this next interview is more direct about expectations on both sides, and my assumption negotiations on pay/relo package.

I live in NE FL and own a home, and this job is in the Roaring Fork Valley of CO, but I’d be living in the cheapest area at first, and dealing with long commute ( non issue as my commute in FL isn’t much shorter time wise, and commute to go back home in Canada is the same if not more than the CO job).

What is a reasonable relocation package lump sum? Salary range is 120-140k. I’m aiming for 130k, and I’m keeping my house, but renting it to trusted friends at a slight loss. Selling my home is a non-negotiable for 12months as a safety net in case things don’t pan out.

Is 20-40k unreasonable? Just a U-Haul truck and fuel is 5,000$. Let alone first/last and security deposit on a rental home, transferring of vehicle registrations with impact fees, license, etc.

The job is needing very specific skill set and industry knowledge and the will to do ground up work which I am very qualified for, as I did it essentially for my previous employer. I am very comfortable where I am but I’m growing old of Florida and its climate both politically and temperature wise.

My bare minimum to even consider is 120k/10k relo, but my goal is 130k with 30-40k relo. Lump sum.

How unreasonable would It be ?

I just a got a really good offer from a firm, problem is my current job requires us to serve at least 2 months of notice period

Plus as a probation employee I can’t buy out & they won’t allow me to leave as they don’t have a replacement

Any tips on how to ask the new company to wait for 2 months to get out of my notice period

Hello, trying to see if I am being low balled for a role. I am being offered 85k for a project manager of programming and events in the Philadelphia market. It’s a public company and I have 12 years experience. They said the original budget was 70-80k. It seems really low to me. Thoughts?

I just sold my car last week. Brakes and rotors needed to be replaced, which I was aware of and made sure the buyer was aware as well. He messaged me today and said his mechanic found a leak and thinks it's the head gasket. Estimating $3500-4k for repair/replacement. The car was sold for $4900 and did not have any visible leaks at the time. He is offering to give the car back and let me keep some cash, or willing to fix it himself but wants some cash back. I asked him to get a second opinion, just to make sure. I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on the situation.

I just finished the last round of interviews for a VP level position at a biotech company in Boston. The team, including the recruiters, were enthusiastic about me joining the company and I have a really good preexisting relationship with the C-level executive that this position will report to.

As I was leaving the office yesterday the recruiter essentially said, “We’d love to have you. The ball is in your court.” I felt this was a strange message given that they haven’t actually made an offer yet. We spoke very generally about salary expectations early in the process, but nothing since then. I would be moving across the country for this job, so I’m also interested in a relocation package. Throughout the process the recruiting team has been pretty passive, with me kind of driving the next step every time. I’m not sure they expect me to send them my expected compensation plan?? I could also ask the exec, but am not sure this is the best move because the recruiting team has the final say.

My thought was to email the recruiter and the exec saying something like, “Thank you for your time and continued interest. After spending the day with the team I am even more excited to be part of the organization. If the team feels the same, I am ready to move on to the next step. Some of the things important to me include the salary and a potential relocation package. What do you have in mind?”

What do you think is the right approach here? How can I position myself optimally in the negotiation?

Looking to take a course.

Would you recommend The Harvard course or The Gap Partnership and why?

I Have been texting a salesman about this truck at a used dealership by me. A bit out of my price range but she’s a beaut. It recently came in and I was told it got sent to a body shop to get the bumper repainted and id be able to see it the following day.. Didn’t hear back for 3 days and I found out from the salesman that the truck was actually getting two new doors replaced because of an accident. Car fax doesn’t show any accident reported on the car. 1) is there even A way to get the price to come down after getting that information from the salesman and if so 2) how would I go about negotiating the price to come down? I’d assume I wouldn’t just say “hey man this isn’t worth the x amount you guys have it listed at due to a car accident that wasn’t listed with insurance prior to being sold to you guys.”

Often, we try so hard to make others understand what we're saying.

But what if they 100% know what we're talking about and just pretend they don't?

This is a kind of self-protection.

Sometimes, they just want to do what we want them to do.

However, it's hard to refuse directly.

So they use other language: "I don't understand what are you talking about."

Even if we try to explain 10 times repeatedly.

People may not consciously notice what they're doing, but what can we do about that?

First, recognize what they're doing — raising the cost for us to make them take action.

So, clearly, beat it by asking, "Which part don't you understand in my explanation?"

Raise the cost for them to deny understanding what we said.

Inquire, push them to think, burden their cognitive load.

Such as.

That works, but it's limited.

Because what we're doing is forcing others to do what they don't want to do.

It would be better if we could persuade them with a common goal or, better yet, align with what they want to do.

I´m a Chriss Voss masterclass practitioner - work, daily life, even kids.

• I was always worried about situations when I would encounter another practitioner ... but it tuner out to be funny meetings where both sides would respect and play with each other in a positive way:
  • longs opening with naming elephants in room , several layers of mirroring, "positive no" type of questions etc...., every sentence beginning "from my perspective, seems as". So eventually a positive experience

But lately I´m in a very difficult situation in work, where a toxic colleague following by his own admission a "Stoic" Philosophy is threating my development and making my work hell.

• I was able to cross reference that he indeed is a stoic based on these:
  • YT: The Dark Side of Helping Others: 11 SURPRISING Ways It Can HARM YOU | STOICISM
  • YT: 13 Stoic WAYS To DESTROY Your Enemy Without FIGHTING Them | Marcus Aurelius STOICISM
  • YT: 7 Stoic principles to MASTER THE ART OF NOT CARING AND LETTING GO | The Wisdom of Stoicism
  • Medium: "Is Stoicism Representative of “Toxic Masculinity?”

Not only is he immune to any communications techniques, but he employs non-voss manipulative techniques himself all the time, such as:

• never admitting mistake
• not caring about anyone else opinion, virtually ignoring them face to face
• repeating a list of ppl who he supposedly met and who approve what he is saying (board in our company)
• eve as ridiculous as "Elon Musk would do it this way"
• absolutely no emotion, immune to emotion
• lying , wining people with lies
• even if proven wrong, still goes on and on with his "trues" like a lunatic
• he is convincing and thus winning people with lies
• I´m on emotional side, so I always get crushed

The main message: the stoicism seems to be a thing that works, I have fond criticism of it, but I have found very little guides on how to counter these people.

full story is here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/1fwptli/how_to_deal_with_a_toxic_stoic_colleague/

I’m preparing for a negotiation role play where I’ll be representing the Euro-Idol Corporation in a two-round process with a Nordic country (Denion) looking to host next year’s competition. I’ve got a few key areas to cover, and I’d love to hear from anyone who has insights on similar (or this exact one) large-scale event negotiations, particularly around logistics, city selection, and financial commitments. Here’s what I’m focusing on:

•	Arena Size: Ideal venue capacity should be between 10,000 and 15,000 seats to avoid the optics of empty seats, especially during semifinals.
•	Infrastructure: The host city needs to support over 30,000 tourists with adequate transportation, lodging, and event facilities.
•	Additional Events: I’m looking to push for a significant investment in side events like Euro-Idol Village to create a festival atmosphere and generate revenue.
•	Financial Commitments: This includes negotiating a host-broadcaster fee ($10M-$20M), a host-city fee ($1M-$10M), and securing at least 20% of the event revenues. Total financial commitment should be around $35M.
•	City Selection: I’m expected to play a role in selecting between two potential host cities (Bardane or Eindborg). My goal is to be the “voice of reason” to ensure the chosen city doesn’t over-promise on what they can deliver.

It’s a Harvard negotiation role play, and I’d love to know what kind of background or information the ‘Denion rep’ might be working with. Any insight into their priorities or negotiation points would be super helpful!

Thank you much!

So, I want to take AP pre-calculus, but since I live in Georgia. You have to take Honors Algebra 2 first. I'm taking On level Algebra 2 with a grade of 99.81% How can I negotiate with my counselor to let me take AP Pre-Calculus? I'm on the debate team, but I still have some errors in my negotiating.

If anyone cares, I will edit this and post how I think the conversation may go

Tomorrow a very successful and wealthy individual will be walking me through a 32-acre property that he has tried to sell (unsuccessfully) previously. He is my friend’s father-in-law and I have never met him before. I know that he would accept an offer that happens to be right at the very very TOP of our budget. The intel I have gathered is that he has held this property for 18 years and let his handyman live and hunt on it. His heirs do not want the property, and he tried listing it last year but did not receive any offers. I also know that he enjoys the outdoors, his college football team, and cars/tractors.

How would you prep for and approach this meeting?

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Without going in to too much detail, I’m a contractor for a very disorganised & often sloppy business, and I’m the sole industry expert in the area of the business I work in. I charge £20 per on unit of work & £50 for another. I have also inadvertently absorbed almost all of the management that goes into the work I’m actually paid for. A client of the business I work for revealed to me a while ago that they pay the business I work for £70 per each unit of work I do, regardless of if it’s something I bill £20 or £50 for. On top of this, at the beginning of the year, I went from getting paid through a recruitment company (which is owned by my clients umbrella company), who charged them a 30% fee, to invoicing my client directly. Finally, I think I’d be difficult to replace, there’s not many people who do this job and no one is really aware of what managing these projects involves as I’ve taken it on entirely for the last 2 years and the people who used to do it left.

Due to the business’ disorganisation, and knowing that I could earn more, I raised my rates by 20%, they initially said they can’t swallow that increase (two weeks ago), I ignored them for a few days and told them I wasn’t willing to discuss anything further until a purchase order was issued for an old invoice and then ignored them. Today the director of the company asked if we could have a catch up tomorrow.

I get the sense that they’ve realised I’m not easy to replace but my question is, is a 20% increase fair on my part. I know they’ve recently saved that 30% but is it possible that they’ve already committed those funds elsewhere? And would I be cutting too much into their profits?

For a bit of context, the company I contract for collect data, I analyse it. They get paid separately for the data collection which makes up the majority of their business. The part I do is just a requirement of the clients. The clients also pay for access to the data management software, so as far as I’m aware this is just supplementary income from services that they are required to provide

After reading Chris Voss's book, I have the urge to practice. Where can I go to build my skills?

I live in NYC.