Welcome to the r/myhappypill monthly check-in thread.

This is a monthly thread to share your stories, questions, and updates—whether it’s some recent event, progress, or just what’s on your mind.

Please note this thread will be heavily moderated (rules can be found in side bar).

I would like a professional diagnosis for my mental health cause I’m not sure if I have BPD, depression or anxiety but I want to know. I thought of going to a KK near my house but the slots are fully booked until June 2025?! Can I get a referral letter if I just go to any clinic like Mediviron or Qualitas or something? And if I would to go on the private route, should I just book an appointment with a psychiatrist without a referral letter? I’m like confused, please help.

im 15 years old. for the past couples of month ive experience some chest pain and it makes me hard to breath whenever someone hurts me. but im glad its gone but last week (my exam weeks) i started to feel the same pain again but from the scale 0-10 id say 10 this time. I was wondering if its a panic attack or some others health disease. at the same time i had an argument with my mom which made my situation worst (def not my fault, it was 6am and i was in a bad mood and she kept getting on my nerves????) . I couldnt study i feel like im failing all subjects. After that, i keep having chest pain everyday and whenever i cry. It really hurts cuz i cant cry outloud. Id cry every morning and night until my face are swollen. she gave me silent treatment for almost a week. She ignores me like i didnt exist. Didnt eat properly, have no money for school. I didnt go to school for 2 days (last week and today) so i missed the test. Being nervous also causes me to experience chest pain. Today i woke up late because i was studying all night, i missed the bus and my parent REFUSED TO DRIVE ME TO SCHOOL. I HAVE TO TAKE MY HISTORY PAPER!?!?! Until my dad offered me for a ride (it was 8.15am and history test starts at 8.20) cuz he feels bad or smth and i said no while crying infront of him. My whole body is shaking especially my hands. He keep forcing me to go to school when im already shaking like a damn vibrator. I asked my friends who has depression and had been warded before. She told me to take DASS test to see if i have anxiety or depression and take ss of the results and go see the doctor and stuff. I really want go to the clinic to get my mc but i dont have any legal guardian except for my parent. Fyi i wanna be a science student but if i fail my exam i had no choice but to choose aliran seni which is kelas paling hujung?!😭

(sorry if u dont understand what im tryna say im having a hard time writing this)

I started cutting myself the day after i got my antidepressants, because i felt empty and bored

fast forward 1 week, i have become addicted to it and i have an appointment in December

was wondering if i admit to cutting myself to the psychiatrist im seeing, will i be admitted against my will?

thanks for answering

Im a high school student taking a spm this year Its about one month left and ujian bertutur is about next week. I feel so suicidal/depressed/burn out idk what to do i cant concentrate on my studies all i ever think is about my future and cry about it. idk what to do help, i really need to study .i got 2G on my trial spm and 3 subject that barely pass C/C+ im scared i cant get straight A my math basic is so bad rn im trying to relearn my algebra im scared.im really scared i want to get straight A so bad but my thought keep making me down and made me procratinate. I cant concentrate with this negetive thought 24/7 Help i dont know what to do i feel hopeless to the point that i tried to attempt suicide but i change my mind bcs it hurt so bad when i try to hang myself it was barely a minute.im so pathetic Pardon my broken english

I’ve been on therapist with Cara Cara since June this year. Sometimes I go once a week, but sometimes I go every two weeks. So anyways, her contract with Cara Cara will terminate by end of this month, and she’ll need at least six months before she can get her licence (she’s still a trainee btw). I’m not sure if I want to find a replacement though, especially since it takes almost 20 sessions to fully trust her. But I kinda want to find a therapist that is more specialised (or niche?), say like a career counsellor or a financial advisor with some cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). I want to find out what I truly like to do, and I also want to learn how to invest especially like bitcoin. I don’t know is it really possible to find something that is specific in Malaysia.

Does anyone else just feel really foggy 80% of the time, I can't find a better word other than foggy. Like I am demotivated and I have to put conscious effort to push myself forward and I almost always by default feel like everything is pointless, and I need to consciousness redirect my thoughts. It's getting better, but the brain foggy demotivated thing is still there.

I'm just wondering if normal people feel demotivated and the brain fog thing sometimes or is this just because of depression.

Since I changed from Concerta to Ritalin, I have been spiralling. The current government hospital that I go to does not carry Concerta, they only have Ritalin so I am trying to search for other government hospitals that have Concerta. It is very expensive to buy Concerta from private pharmacy.

Whenever i take my ritalin it doesn't come into effect immediately on its own and its like i have to physically move around abit to jumpstart it.

Hi 20year old male here just wanted to know how do i get myself my diagnosis ive been coping with my ADHD for some time i took a screening with Aloe Mind previously but it hadnt impact my academic results. However I just started Uni and classes are huge and im losing focus constantly im in week 8 and i cant even remember anything so im willing to go through the public hospital sector side to get tested and get meds and im doing this with my own allowance cause my parents don't believe in mental health they believe i can just focus anyways rant over.

Basically how do i do this? my friend told me i can just got to MENTARI and just get an appointment through there and some post are telling me i have to go to KK and even this website here https://aloemind.com/seeking-help-from-governmental-clinics-and-hospitals/

And some post states that i can just straight up go to MENTARI for a screening then get placed by a psychologist

The year is almost ending and tbh nothing much has changed. I'm still stuck with this stupid job, I'm still depressed and I'm still clueless what to do with my life. I've been trying to quit this retail job for 3 years but my mom keep stopping me. I understand it's hard to get a job right now, even more so in my area but this job is mentally exhausting. Been planning to quit every year but yeah 3 years has gone by.

It sucks y'know waking up everyday questioning why am I still alive. I've achieved nothing, what use do i have here? I tried changing my daily life a lil bit. I bought myself my own gaming pc(have wanted my own pc since i was a kid), i've started going out more on my day off (just going to aeon though) and recently me and family would go picnicking at the beach(planning to make this a regular thing). But at the end of the day, when i lay on my bed, i'd still feel empty inside.

I've tried to live with the facts that i'm never gonna make it big. But some people just can't stop talking y'know, "Belajar tinggi² xkan kerja stesen minyak je?", "Xkan kerja stesen minyak je, xnak cari kerja lain ke?", "Sampai bila nak kerja bawah orang?". It's honest work y'know, i've applied to a lot of other work but all never replied, and with my anxiety this is the best i can do for now. It hurts y'know. Hina sangat ke kerja aku ni.

I want to try going into IT, and few have suggested some path i could take but taking the first step is so hard for me. I'm sorry that i don't reply but thank you for dming me about it. I really appreciate it but i don't know if i'll ever have it in me to take the first step. . . . . . . Not having anyone to rant and have deep talk with is really frustating. Why am i such a loner... Life sucks.

I'm 20F and I was diagnosed pretty late (around 18y/o). I know I should be getting used to it by now but I'm not sure why it still feels strange. I don't know anyone that could advice me on how to manage it properly and I couldn't really find a proper ADHD support group that can help me navigate through this.

My appointments usually entails my doctor asking me how's the meds and how I feel. Whenever I talk to them, I don't feel like they're listening to me.. I still feel like I'm struggling to manage myself and having multiple meltdowns in a month (this drains me out so much omg..)

Is there advice could you guys give me that'll help me adjust into this once and for all? I've tried all the stuff the psychiatrist suggested it just doesn't work for me. I would really appreciate the help!!

(Btw sorry if my way of typing this is weird, it's my first time making a post and I'm doing this on a whim hehehe. If you guys have any questions, feel free to ask me T-T)

Would love to hear for any ADHDer’s experience

I have been depressed since the start of secondary school and i kinda knew but didn't seek help since it wasn't really affecting my life, i go to school twice a week(skip monday, wednesday and friday most weeks) and mostly sat by myself during recess

I noticed this when i was 17 but i thought about suicide everyday, sometimes it's not me, sometimes the method is different(guns, razor blades, jumping off) but it's always suicide, even on my best days, i think about it, these thought aren't as debilitating as the others ones but im guessing they're important

skip to about six months back(im 18) when im really seeing the effects of it , On the first and last job i got, i only lasted 3 days, where i got back home from work, cry, sleep, woke up, eat, cry(maybe it was a panic attack idk but it felt like my stomach was being strangled) and went to work

I have dreams and i want to work hard to get them but i feel like i cant, since every hobby and thing i do or will eventually do will be boring(anhedonia i think)

so my questions are:

1. Should i tell them that, even though it sounds unbelievable?

2. Not sure how to see a doctor at mentari, is it a walk in or do i have to set an appointment?

Please don't be harsh, thank you

Hi everyone. I just wanted to get some opinion on my situation.

Roughly three years ago, I suspected that I might have ADHD due to my struggles in my university study, and I opted for private because I heard that the process is much more quicker than government-based diagnosis. After <5 sessions, the psychiatrist diagnosed that I have ADHD, and we moved along to treatment with prescribed ADHD drugs and other recommended changes to restructure my life.

However, my family could not afford the cost of those medications, so I stopped going to renew my medication. At this point, I requested to switch to a government hospital that was closer to my location. I had a referral letter from my private clinic, but the doctor from the local hospital might have doubt about my initial diagnosis. I was not given any medication, and the only solution from the doctor is to read a book. I was discharged, but due to a recent hardship, I requested to get treatment here again.

Right now, I’m torn between whether I actually have ADHD or not. Should I just directly ask my local psychiatrist about my diagnosis? I guess I just wanted a peace of mind, and a potential reason for the contrast between my performance in my high school and college. I would appreciate your thoughts and/or suggestions.

I'm located in KL, so picking may be a little slimmer here, but where are some general (free ideally) places people go to 'escape' home and work? There's a handful of spots that are available to us here by public transport (library, office seating areas, parks with covered seating) but I'm wondering if there are others I haven't thought of.

*Edit: Should have specified that free or at least cheap places would be ideal

Hi, I graduated two months ago in an overseas university, never done any internship. I just got an offer recently and I am extremely anxious about my future performance, the culture, etc in the company. Can I get some reassuring words?

I don’t know where else to put this but I desperately need an outlet (without the thought of burdening someone)

… it’s the end of my birthday week and I celebrated it literally no one. Not a single person. Do I have friends? Yes, and supposedly many close friends. Family? Yes, and I suppose they love me, on a surface obligatory manner.

I thought my friends were supposed to fill in where my family lacked at showing love.

I thought I would’ve at least felt… prioritised or loved this week. I felt nothing.

I have all sorts of excuse made up in my mind. They’re busy. I’m busy. And yeah, for sure I’m busy - I made sure I was, just to be able to cope. Fill my time up with everything.

But the reality is that no one cares enough. It’s not a surface “boohoo no one celebrated my birthday” issue, it’s the plain fact that I am never, and will never, be important enough for anyone. I will never be anyone’s priority. I will never matter enough for anyone to set aside their stuff, even for a couple hours. I’m just someone that they can rely on if they need, and someone to spend fun time with when it doesn’t inconvenience them.

It’s quite funny too, the amount of effort I always put into everyone on their birthday to make sure they always feel remembered, loved, prioritised and celebrated on their birthday month. I never wanted anyone to feel the way I am feeling. I would gather my friends together everytime.

But for me, no one cares enough. And I cannot bear the thought to reach to out to my “loved ones”, even if they’ve promised that they will be there for me. Because I have been disappointed and brushed aside by people closest to me, and I cannot bear to face the reality of it happening again.

So to everyone, I am fine. I am okay. In fact, I am thriving. Alone? I go out and celebrate it myself. I have two gigs running on. I am growing and achieving new things.

Am I really? Yes, because I’ve always tried. But I’m so tired, really. Because I’ve tried everything, and fundamentally, nothing has changed. I am upset. I do not want to exist.

It never got better.

It always comes back.

I don’t want to end it, yet. Maybe because I’m scared, maybe because I don’t want to put the burden on my loved ones. But god, do I want to disappear so badly.

I’m aware that I’m exhibiting a little bit of self destructive tendencies. I barely sleep. I barely eat (I no longer enjoy it). I’ve dropped a lot of weight.

They know. They can see it. They don’t care.

Maybe this can speed up the process of dying from natural causes hahahh. I don’t want to burden my family with the cost of medical fees, though.

I’ve toyed with the idea of seeing a therapist, but the reality is I don’t know how they can help, and I also can’t bear to face a situation if really is helpless, or worse, if I feel like they shun me (just like my loved ones did). Imagine, paying someone just to feel like your situation is not important… that would be funny.

Anyway, I’m just constantly balancing on a thin precarious line, doing fine on the surface-level but waiting for something to push me over the edge one day. And I don’t know why, but I’m certain no one will be able to catch me when I fall over the edge.

25 years feel awfully enough for someone living alone.

So, my paternal side of the family has history of mental issues and I didn't grow up with emotionally stable adults. I was always the very anxious and emotional cry baby and my feelings control me instead of the other way around (still does).

I kind of just accepted that as a fact, but in my twenties I attempted suicide after a break up. That's how emotional I can get. I would spiral and get out of control with self-harming and self-loath. Plus the fact that I'm a perfectionist doesn't help because if things don't go they way I want, I literally just want to d*e.

Anyway, I've spent the last 8 years in Korea, a very high stress environment I'm sure you guys have heard of. I studied and graduated, got a job there. In October 2022, I was working two jobs and trying to get my masters degree. I stressed out, burnt out, started to have trouble sleeping and got a panic attack, which finally led me to see a psychiatrist.

For the past two years the doctor have been treating and slowly reducing my dosage of medicine for insomnia, anxiety and depression. When I decided to come home (to Malaysia), he gave me one-month's worth of medicine so that I would have time to find another psychiatrist here.

I went to a place today that was recommended by my Mom's friend, but I was skeptical because they didn't have great reviews on Google. And sadly to say they might've been true because today, I kept getting cut off by the doctor, he said my symptoms are "very common after COVID-19, very easy to fix", and he also said I have social anxiety and ADHD which is like???? I've never heard of that and don't understand how he drew up that conclusion... All in all, I feel like he doesn't understand what I need/want, I didn't feel like he really heard what I had to say... He gave me a prescription of a pill and said by the time we slowly get up to 2 pills, "all your problems will go away"? Like... So I'll have to keep taking those pills? What does that even mean?

Now I'm running out of my medicine that my Korean psychiatrist gave me and I'm panicking. Should I just go to another psychiatrist and ask them to give me the same/similar pills I've been taking? I honestly am very lost here. And it's very costly to go around different hospitals until I find the right one.

Side note, I have scheduled myself for therapy as well. I know medicine is not the solution but is what I need to function right now.

I seem to have severe rumination issues and anger. It gets worse due to the nature of my job as an engineer in the construction field. I once spent ruminating on an issue from 12pm till 12am... I need to get this sorted out. Any suggestions on whom should I see. I read the threads on listed services I'm.nmot sure which will help me.

been depressed its week 4 of my university 😭😭😭

Hi. I am a female working adult, in my late 20, closing to 30. I suspected that I have ADHD, but I kinda had second thought about proceeding this diagnosis.

Is it really normal and very necessary to get work report from your boss for ADHD's diagnosis? It took courage for me to get a diagnosis. And I am rethinking this whole things.

Firstly, the Dr asked me to get my boss to write a report about my work performance to proceed with the diagnosis. I am paranoid whether this could sabotage my career. My boss is a very pushy type. The one who asked in details about your annual leave purposes, the kind of person who is busybody about how your weekend went by, etc. Sure, I don't need to disclose about ADHD, but I still need to justify why I'm seeing a psychiatrist and why he is asking for my work performance report. I am paranoid this will affect my appraisal, career growth and I'm gonna be judged in the future. I am totally uncomfortable with this. And then, even in the future, if I decided not to work here anymore, the next2 company I applied might ask my boss about me, before accepting me. Because this industry is not that big. Even my prev boss know my current boss. They can simply know who is my prev boss based on my work experiences/histories in my resume. I am paranoid that I might jeopardize my own career by proceeding with this.

Secondly, the Dr also asked to interview my parents. Another thing that I'm uncomfortable with. I am not someone who shared my struggles with my family. I don't have bad relationships with my family or anything. It's just that my family is just not the heart-to-heart talk kind of family, or perhaps I am not the one who has always been uncomfortable about disclosing my vulnerabilities. I had continuously lived far away from my family since I was 16 (Hostels, further studies and worked far away from home). However, I rarely called my family unless there are any urgent matters. Like, I can go months without calling and seeing my family or only went back home for like twice a year or something, only went back when there is like public holiday celebration. Like I said, I don't have bad relationships with my family or anything. But I don't necessarily shared everything with my family either. It is just my personality, or maybe it is part of the adhd traits or anything, idk. So yeah, this whole needing to interview my parents thing is really making me second guessing this whole thing. It is just a lot for me. It means that I have to lay bare with my family, share all of my past struggles and all. I never shared any of my struggles with my family. I don't even shared my university results with my parents. I don't even tell my parents when I'm having exams, tests or anything. I just tell them when I finished my final exam and going home for semester break. So yeah, the requirement to proceed with this whole thing is a lot for me.

One more thing.. How long does it usually take to finish the diagnosis? Is it really typical to wait for the following month for every appointments? I firstly went there with referral letter, and was asked to make appointment, and was scheduled for appointment for the next month. And the following month I went for the 1st appointment and was scheduled for another following month for the next appointment. And for the next appointment, will review the work performance report from my boss. So, actually just how many months will it usually take just to finish the diagnosis? I kinda expect there will be monthly follow up appointments once diagnosed, to check for progress and all. But, I did not expect to be spending months for diagnosis only. I felt like there is no progress. And yeah, more reason to second think this whole things. But then again, I am also tired of living like this. I don't know anymore. This is frustrating. I am frustrating.

Welcome to the r/myhappypill monthly check-in thread.

This is a monthly thread to share your stories, questions, and updates—whether it’s some recent event, progress, or just what’s on your mind.

Please note this thread will be heavily moderated (rules can be found in side bar).

Is anyone kind of just, being a normal person, not achieving much, and.... Isn't it good enough?

Like I don't see a problem not earning 5 figures by the time I'm 30. But I get a lot of pressure or some adults will say that I will definitely regret if I don't find ways to earn more money now, next time I got no money I need to borrow from my friends etc. I don't earn a lot but I can survive now, I can't afford the lifestyle some of my friends have of course. I put a lot of effort trying to make myself calm and happy and... Isn't that good enough? At least I have a job.

And sometimes people will tell me that oh you'll regret it when you're older. Well because I kinda am depressed so I was like will then I'll just die if no one is there to take care of me ==.

My point is..... Life can be easy, but...... I feel like I get looked down upon for not having a shiny career or getting paid less than 5k. It's not that I don't want a good job, it's just that it's so competitive nowadays, not everyone can be on top, someone has to be in the middle.

I have been experiencing burnout from my work. It has been busy everyday and I don’t even have time for myself. I was thinking of switching industry but my work is just so busy that I barely have time to search for a new job during the weekdays and during the weekend, sometimes I still need to do some work and when im not working I don’t even feel like moving. I’m also worried that if I were to switch industry I would need to take a huge pay cut as I have a lot of commitments.

I have had several breakdowns and sometimes at night I will just cry myself to sleep. I think I should seek some help but should I seek for a counsellor or a psychologist? Also where should I go? I stay in klang valley and I prefer private clinics or hospitals.

It's about my past treatment.

Is it normal to be prescribed Risperidone on first session with psychiatrist? Like it's the very first time I seek treatment, and being assessed and already given Risperidone prescription. I didn't go to KK, just straight to gov psychiatry.

I had social anxiety, and I did cried in the session because I had to talk about my problems that I had been keeping to myself and finally seeking help. I also mentioned that my mother has schizophrenia. I don't have hallucinations.

hello,

I’ve been to therapy before but i stopped going a for two years now mainly i don’t think the therapist really understood my adhd.

I’m wondering if there are any therapists that are specialised in this?

I appreciate any tips!

I am not sure whether I am a candidate to be going to a psychiatrist. Cause I have no clue what is wrong with me but I know there is something not right.

Some part of me thinks that I have a legitimate mental illness, i.e. depression, which plays a role to the thought of there is something wrong with me. But I absolutely have no clue to gauge and idk where to go from here.

I don’t want to go to my current therapist again. Not because she’s not good, she’s okay but I don’t think she is asking the right questions with me and it’s super expensive.

So I want to know people’s experiences in going to a psychiatrist when you have no clue what to do, would the psychiatrist even treat me, what is even the difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist.

Please help, I need guidance on this. Thank you

Update: I’m leaning towards booking a session with humankind and/ telos. Anyone can share their experiences? Are they good?