In May I went on a mushroom journey. Back story. I had been experimenting with mushrooms and highly researched the pros and cons. I had been micro dosing and felt amazing. I also planned a few full journeys. I went on a journey and took a full dose. I had done this previously and had the most amazing experience of my life. This time was different. It began wonderful, and I truly feel the emotions I felt during this journey led me to the most devastating memory of a child in my entire existence. I fell into almost a day bed, very familiar. I was a very small child. In real time It was night. But it became light outside almost as if I was waking from a nap. The smells, the walls. Everything was familiar. And a dark figure came into my room and started violating me sexually. I kept fighting this memory and the face of who was violating me was fuzzy. And in an instant the face became as clear as I have ever seen it before. It was my father. I started to fall into the darkest hole. But that hole had even darker holes. And I just kept falling. There was no end. And my life in its entirety came together in an instant and everything made perfect scence . All my trials, my walls, my struggles, my life up until this very moment made complete and udder scence. I couldn't keep down food for a week. I couldn't sleep for a month. I lost track of time and space and a complete knowledge of who I am. What was I? Everything I have known is a lie. I immediately went to therapy. I am still in existensive trauma therapy 7 months later. Working towards EMDR and possibly ketsmine therapy. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and have been medicated. Even with all of that, I still feel extreme anxiety, even more so than before I experienced this. My life I feel will never be the same. A huge part of me wonders, did this actually happen? How could it have happened? But my soul is yelling that it is real. It has always been real. I don't really know why I am writing this. Or if anyone even cares. Can this be real? Is there anyone out there that has experienced this? I don't know what I am searching for. I don't even know if it matters in my true journey of healing. Maybe just reassurance that it could be true? I don't know. I researched all of these possibilities and I just couldn't imagine and simply didn't know this could or did happen to me.

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To expand on this thought:

I don’t remember my first time with mushrooms all that well. Today, an old friend of mine called me up on a whim. He, knowing I’m avid about this type of stuff, asked me to come hangout with him in our childhood park. Fuck, yes. Ring ring, ring ring, ring... “Hello?” “What are you doing?” “Uhhh, who is this?” “D.” “Oh, hi. Not doing anything, just in bed with no plans to get up.” “Im tripping on mushrooms for my first time, you want to hangout at [park]?” “Absolutely. Yes. I’d love to talk with you.” “Okay, meet me [tree].” “Sounds good, be there in 20.” “Okay bye.”

I met up with him right around his peak, we walked and talked. Showed him things I’ve noticed, talked about how my experiences have been. I kinda just kept him grounded, which is what he wanted. We sat at a bench, talked more, then went to his house to smoke. Talked more, had a good time.

I remember my second and third time a little bit, just moments though; like memories are. It was my fourth time that really got me. Maybe 2 years ago. My fourth time, my best friends first. We took pretty close to the same dose, I’d say around 2-3g each, eaten. Don’t know about prior food consumption.

I don’t know if we ate them on that bench, or at my house. I don’t know where we started. We ended up going on a walk to the park I’ve mentioned before; a beautiful place.

The most prominent thing about this trip for me, was déjà vu. The entire time. Right place at the right time, that’s what they say right? I was at the right place at the right time for 6 hours. It was a really crazy feeling. The other parts I remember well are sitting at the bench, probably peaking. The world was dancing, everything was dancing, breathing, swaying, just being and moving in such beautiful ways. We both got chills at the same time due to the cold, and went back to my house. But made a stop on the way. We stopped at a community garden that has a gazebo that we chilled at to smoke a bowl. The sun was shining through the tree and he said

“That’s a bright-ass motherfuckin tree”

What? The sun is bright my guy, the tree is just in the way. Now it’s a really nice inside joke between us.

Got to my house, my dogs looked real weird. That’s about all I have to say about that. Played video games and talked.

Back to the thumbnail if you made it this far

I just can’t imagine what I would be like, or how I would think, if I hadn’t ever come upon this wonderful fruit. I’ve always been a person who loves nature, loves to be in the wilderness. And I feel like I never really saw how beautiful nature is. How beautiful you are, we are. It blows my mind to this day that, that trip seems to have taken away my real judgement for how people are. I mean I have thoughts and views yeah, but I don’t know half of what you’ve been through, so it’s not my place to judge you or make you feel any type of way.

Then again, I’ve been ripped out reality. And I question what is real, what to believe, where to side.

This might just be, the other side

I wonder much

Perspective is the key to life

I hope I’m not quoting anyone Feel free to chat me up ✌🏻🍄♥️

A place to share your psychedelic experiences with the consumption of magic mushrooms. Also a place to share photos or videos of your journeys looking for fruits! We love to see what’s out there, and we love to hear what’s in here🧠