[SRS RULES]:

I am the Tree tiers of makeup. Growing Goddess-y makeup from my Giving Branches. Spreading beauty to the world. I am over 500 years old. I have been here since almost like, Cleopatra and stuff.

I give and give and give. I spread my gnarled old branches and offer the dewy fruits of my labor. Behold my many applicators. ✨

And the squirrels and birds that live in me will always have ample cut-crease looks, perfect eyebrows, and pouty lips. 👄 🙏🏻 🫦

If you don’t know about the three tiers of makeup, stay in your lane! Take your Space Cowboy eyeshadow from Urban Dismay & suck it, loser!

Mmm yummy my Italian Crushed Pearls from ITALY

Hi pore, my boyfie is flying me out to Franse (don't ask where it's super exclusive) and I don't want to look like a tourist, how do I increase my french level, ps. anyone that suggests Duolingo is gonna be blocked 💖

I like brands that only use the freshest pearls from Italy! No unnatural ingredients allowed! OUR MONEY HAS POWER! I know you're here for makeup not politics but guess what! These are moral issues disguised as politics and there is no escape! If you support human rights you'll stop shopping at BIG MULTIBRAND CORPORATION A and spend at BIG MULTIBRAND CORPORATION B instead. Or small businesses whatevs. Black Friday is coming and we can fuck up their bottom line! Tell your girlies and spread the word!

Also don't shop at MAKE UP COMPANY XYZ cause I met Mr XYZ this one time and he was a meanie.

Everyone tells me a different shape.

Every of you pores has problems😌 like having a LOT of makeup blindness or not getting a boyfie no matter how hard you try😖 But did you know that these problems cause STRESS?!? (horrible, right?) And that this stress can cause WRINKLES?!? Like who would want to look a day over 25?? So WE have THE solution for you and your old ass skin😝 our new anti stress face cream with 0.00000000001% crystallized crushed Italian pearls will make every of your wrinkles go away(amazing, right? 🤩) And sweaty, you know that ANYTHING cheaper than this will double your wrinkles! So shop now!

Uj/I know it might be a little much for a brand ad, but a lot of the brands actually create insecurities which they claim to fix. Stress can be bad for your skin, but I don't think a face cream will fix that...

Anybody got any more

Here's a few lip colors he wants you to wear! Like imagine NOT wearing makeup just to impress our boyfies🙄

I am aware, just like everyone else is aware, that we are not entitled to anything. However, it IS my God-given right get luxury makeup at discount prices! I don't understand why a company that has seen exponential profit in the past few years would have LESS incentive to give customers steep discounts and not MORE! Why are they acting like a CORPORATION and not a CHARITY? It's almost as if they're greedy or something!!

Makeup is a non-essential commodity, so it's DESPICABLE that Sephora holds people HOSTAGE with their treacherous rewards programs that we don't have to participate in at all. Will someone PLEASE think of the people spending THOUSANDS to get a measly $100 in points?

NO I cannot form a cohesive argument about capitalism and consumerism in a way that doesn't revolve around me getting more stuff. YES, we COULD criticize the beauty industry for its environmental impact or for promoting overconsumption or for animal cruelty or for reinforcing problematic beauty standards. But let's be real here. It's all about ME! And I want MORE STUFF!

My sister told me I have the hands of an 80 year old. It bothers me I still have creases where I bend my fingers. Anyone have any products that will smooth my wrinkly old crone hands?

So i decided to try the areola hack as a nursing mom, and its soo gorgina. My dark MOM areolas are actually exactly the right shade for my lips! Obvs you pores wouldn't know how hard it is as a MOM to find good lipstick. I'm living the mom life, but i still have time to be better than you. Hashtag motherhood, hashtag momlife.