what could he mean by that? I think the tone was lighthearted, but he casually said this with no context as he walked into the pantry while I was making coffee. There hadn’t been any prior conversation or discussion about anything earlier in the day either. I’d appreciate any insights, thanks!

I work at one agency. We recently hired someone who has a lot of experience in our field but her shortcomings are becoming apparent after six months. I am at the point of considering a PIP. Fortuitously, I obtained her past evals from another agency where she did similar work. They were glowing. How do I justify the PIP in light of this apparent discrepancy? I don't think the previous manager knew what she was really like, or didn't care.

You're hired! Your job is to check patients in. One of the very few expectations is to ensure the check in process is perfect, and you scan an insurance card for every patient.

I have had to tell this seasoned employee countless time to ensure the card is scanned in. Today, ZERO OF SIX were scanned. When approached, they said "I'll work on it..."

LIKE, WHAT IS THERE TO WORK ON?! YOU JUST DO IT??

We're all human, mistakes are normal, but JFC some days I am just at a loss.

Dear all,

I am fairly new as a manager and sometimes I have meetings with board members and MDs very high up the ranks. I am always nervous before those but most often I can manage well.

There is one particular managing director (MD) tho that intimidates me. Not because he yells or is abusive or arrogant, but because he is extraordinarily smart, capable and very confident. I recognized that I feel anxious and almost like a deer in the light among people like this. For some reason highly capable and intelligent people intimidate me and make me feel stupid and very insecure.

It sucks. Because I do well and I know that I am not stupid.

Any advice for me? 🙏

I joined my company 9 months ago, my company gives raises every October, however, my manager mentioned that since I recently joined I didn't qualify for a raise. However, I got my PhD and my professional designation title last month. Do you think I should ask my manger for a raise at our next meet

I am pregnant with my third baby, due in May. I will have 3 kids under 4. I've only been at my company for a few years and had a baby and mat leave with them already for my daughter and my manager at the time (who was amazingly supportive) has since left the company. I now roll up to the VP, who is very nice, but is trying to rebuild the company from the ground up, and I can imagine is really overwhelmed.

I've always been a good employee. My 2 kids are in fulltime care and they don't interfere with work. Once I had to decline a travel opportunity because it conflicted with a daycare event I had already committed to. But only once in 3 years.

My question is. Do women who have "a lot" of kids start to get looked at differently just because they have a lot of kids? I feel like going from 2 to 3 gets me to that level. I just told the VP this morning and he said congratulations but his face kind of dropped, which just got me thinking how this is going to reflect on me professionally. I'm so curious what happens behind the scenes when a female employee has a few babies over a few years.

Throwaway because I’m neurotic.

I hired a new employee with 20 years of experience in my field (more than I have) about 3 years ago. Since she began, she has made mistake after careless mistake in all of her work and I’m at my wits end. I have followed HRs steps to the letter to try and get her to improve, but all of that has failed. She did fine on a PIP and then a few months later slid back into careless mistakes again and got written up.

Every time I met with her about errors, she loses it and starts blaming her other coworkers or me, telling me how pissed off she is that I’m blaming her for the errors. She has hurled false accusations at me and disrespected me in meetings and over email. I have reminded her, calmly, that I won’t tolerate that behavior or just shut the meeting down entirely.

Here is what I’ve learned from this: Despite my naive thought that I could help someone succeed with enough coaching, some people are just un-coachable. You can be as compassionate and understanding and accommodating as Mother Theresa, but it will get you nowhere with some folks. The last time I met with her to discuss her errors she continued her pattern, and now I’ve decided we’re officially moving toward termination. I never want to fire anybody, but I’ve held on too long as it is. I think I need to be more like I’m doing CPR. At some point you have to just call it because the patient is not going to make it. Maybe I’m too compassionate for managing people.

Long story short I am managing a new employee who is still on probation. They employee has said that they do have ADHD but have decided that the medication is not for them. We have quite a few people in the office with ADHD who are performing well. (For context we are an office of 80 in the UK, and most of our top performers are neurodiverse)

He has severe performance anxiety and does not follow direction. He is very data and facts numbers but as this is a sales role, he is lacking any initiative and showing in the lack of results.

We have had numerous 1:1 feedback sessions of how to think out of the box, how to pro-actively reach out amd try different things.

There just seems to be no improvement. When I do address the performance issues he shuts down and says he feels like he cant do anything right, and then acts like a child being scolded.

I have tried training, 1 on 1 coaching sessions but he seems to revert back to the same things that done work. I feel like we discuss the same performance issues weekly and action plans, but I dont see improvement. I also feel that he plays on my feelings by saying he knows he has performance anxiety and working through his issues with a therapist.

He is a lovely person with good intentions but it’s become so draining that I just don’t know what to do anymore. Every day I dread our interactions and becoming resentful.

Any advice please!

I am a manager at a dental office. My team is wonderful and I genuinely love the entire company. But, there are several different people in the company who are involved with this dental office ,a few different owners and head of operations.

I am constantly getting phone calls , text messages, and emails. “ why didn’t your team answer the phone like this” “ why didn’t your team tell the insurance company this” “ why didn’t your team answer the phone fast enough”

It’s all day long . The questions continue through the night, weekend, holidays, etc.

My staff has expressed their appreciation for myself and the support I’ve shown , but is starting to become incredibly bitter towards the upper management due to the way they are spoken to disregard for what they are comfortable doing/saying , and the every day change of operations.

I’ve explained endlessly that upper management is not the enemy and are simply invested and hold high expectations. But, I have a huge team of exhausted staff members who don’t feel valued.

How do I continue to reassure our appreciation and advocate for my staff without seeming like I am not happy and complaining? I feel like I am fighting a silent battle internally struggling because I am shot down more than the staff and told to handle it because it isn’t going to change . I’m becoming exhausted holding a smile on my face when I’m drained inside

I’m working 65+ hours a week between the office and at home admin work .

Hi i am 25F, I work at a new small location and I've been really reliable working there(even covering call offs) i was able to become a sales lead(aka key holder). Everyone I work with goes to college or school of some type. I'm the only one putting mutiple hours ( 7 days in a row an 9 hours shifts)and passion into this company. One sales lead we will loose soon cause they only came to help for a time being while we opened. But we have been open for 4 months now and our hiring manager still hasn't found a manager to help run our location. Apparently we had one but they never showed up. Anyways, I want to become a manager, I just don't know how to go about it. Having no manager experience, and only a teaching degree/daycare experience. Any advice?

I manage a team of about 10 individuals in a corporate setting, many being right out of college. That being said, I’m looking for some daily recognition ideas to boost morale among the team. The individuals are expected to meet daily quotas, but I want to try to implement a daily recognition system that makes them more excited to show up and work hard each day! I was in their role previously, so I understand stress and burn out.

What has worked for you and what daily reward systems/recognition have you implemented on your teams? I hope to add this to my daily morning huddles.

I’m a manager and work closely with a peer with almost the total opposite management style to me. I’m quite a laid back manager, I get on with my team members very well, as my desk isn’t in the direct vicinity I make a point of going and spending time with the team at the start and end of the day, just so I’m visible and it gives them a chance to talk to me - Although I stick to the company policies, I’m quite flexible when it comes to things like holiday requests, asks to leave a bit early and performance related issues - I deal with these things in a supportive manner and if there’s an issue or conflicts with policy I help my team members figure it out. (e.g I won’t just reject requests)

In contrast my peer is much firmer - rigidly sticks to rules and deals with things a lot more formally, won’t hesitate to reject holiday requests and stuff. They do pop in to see their team but normally only to give feedback. They do occasionally do nice things as well like buy treats and stuff, but they keep much more of a distance between themselves and the people who report to them. To put it bluntly they have a much grumpier reputation with their team than I do.

So the conflict is - both of our teams work very closely together and are based in the same small space. My peer sometimes gets annoyed with me when they feel like I’m not following the company policy in the same way they do, because in their eyes I’m undermining the firm stance they take with their own direct reports. This is coupled with the fact that her direct reports have also left anonymous feedback that they wished their manager would behave a bit more like I do and treat the team like I treat mine.

I get on with my peer really, really well outside of this, but we do sometimes have tense conversations when I feel like they are trying to tell me that I’m too soft on my team… I’ve asked my own line manager what they think and they tell me I’m doing a good job… long story but has anyone else ever had this sort of style clash? How did you handle it?

Moving into a middle management role at a small (12 person company). Unfortunately, I don't think super highly of my 2 superiors. And I am well aware of how difficult it is to change the overarching culture, and that it comes from the very top. But as long as I'm at this company, it's my duty to try to be a force for good.

Sadly, my industry is pretty antiquated, so one is likely to run into this kind of 'fratty culture'

I'm coming into supervise a 3 person team, all filled with young people around my age (29) or a few years younger. Here are some of the overarching challenges I foresee

• The previous team lead terminated) was just a "fun boss." I sit right near them, and I never once saw an instance of serious coaching, discipline, or feedback to her team. So, it might feel tough for these people to go back to having more of an involved supervisor.
• In my opinion, the big bosses have a bad habit of overpromising, and just saying careless and reckless things in passing
  • A lot of the younger people have been "dangled the carrot" of moving over to the brokering side, which can be really lucrative. But I've been around long enough to know it's just not a very realistic path here.
  • I actually had a short stint on the sales side, and I was completely set up to fail (IMO). It's hard for me to establish my own credibility. It makes it seem "like I just couldn't hack it!" Granted, I would never want to hold back my team member from having their own shot.
• I know a lot more about what's going on than my team. My company is having a down year, if not, actually in moderate trouble. It's not rank-and-file employees' duty to be responsible for PnL, but sometimes I'll have to rain on the parade. And it's a problem that the big bosses only ever paint a super rosy picture, and talk a big game all the time about how we're growing, etc.
• The big bosses are also not a good role model for professionalism. Whether it's saying uncouth things, or excessively bad mouthing former employees. I've even seen cases where they basically talk down their own salespeople, including me when I was in that role. And sadly, a lot of my staff are fairly young and impressionable.

So, I know this is all a lot.

How can I at least make things a little better, instead of making it worse?

Hi Reddit! I drafted a lengthy post, but then my phone wiped it before I could hit that fated button. That was my sign to get to the point.

I am a very new manager on a very new team, moving from a project lead to a “people” lead. I created the training program for my team based on my experience in the role, and I have been correcting gaps in my approach, mainly regarding workflow. Although team members have ownership over their respective project, I am still the one doing most of the admin-related work (e.g., updates to procedures, reporting on status, reaching out to internal stakeholders, etc). I do not believe I clearly stated that they should do it even though they know how to, so I am going to communicate it next week and step back more.

This leads me to my question: would you mark something as an area for growth for your team member if it is something you fell short on? (Note that this documentation is only visible to me and each person for weekly 1:1s.)

My few months in new hire has chronic tardiness, like every day- morning or evening shifts. I’ve gone to my sup for help who passed me on to HR who basically said keep working with him and follow up with emails. He misses or is late for meetings and trainings. I suspect he takes lunch breaks way longer than authorized- we don’t have time clocks. He is often nowhere to be found during the work day. He’s on his phone whenever I do approach his desk. He distracts other staff from doing their jobs leaning on desks talking. His work is worrisome, seeming very half-assed and needing lots of remediation. I’m really getting tons of good managerial experience in sending very direct emails with read receipts and clear deadlines and assigning tasks that should be handled independently by now.

He now reported to me he has ADHD (we all do, man) and had flexible work schedule, reduced work schedule, and telework accommodations at his previous employer. Besides paperwork it’s mostly between him and HR at this point, but the very idea of him getting these benefits while the rest of the staff do not and have to pick up the slack is actually infuriating to me.

Have you dealt with such? Am I wrong and being too harsh? I promise, I do try to be understanding of humans in general, we all have our challenges and I know I suffer from adhd and depression at times as do much of the staff, but we still work ethic kwim?

Technical stuff and "important" task are moving as needed however admin stuff such as reports and things to keep the overall stuff moving always fall behind.

Any tips on how to keep the team on track on these type of items? And how to talk to them about that it's also part of their role?

Hello swarm brain :)

there is this thing, that all new leader get to set up the yearly leadership conference. I am a new leader there... since a few month.
Do you have recommendations, what slots would be nice?

A lot of senior leaders there... so I thought about finding maybe other areas presenting stuff from their department (maybe customer service?). Are there any new trends in leadership that can be brought to the audience? Anything else? Any help appreciated!

Thanks and regards

Edit: Sorry I forgot the main info... It is about the networking event and the evening. The agenda for the day is more of a "we cant have a meeting without at least a few topics" thing.... Maybe even a taxes reason on germany...

I’ve got till January 6 to deliver reviews. One of my directs (my Problem Child) is getting lit up. Should I give him his shitty review before or after Christmas & New Years? I’d like to get it over with, but I expect he’s going to throw a tantrum and I’m concerned it’s going to ruin his Christmas.

More of a vent than anything. We have a new hire. He hasn’t done a good job but he’s new. The problem is this is the most extroverted talkative person I have ever met in my life. He literally will not shut up. He dominates every conversation. If it’s just you two you can maybe get a word in but anymore and it’s over. If someone asks a question to you only it doesn’t matter… he’s answering it. If you text him, he’ll call you and he’ll call you 8 times a day. The customers hate him and so so do I. Has anybody dealt with this?

I recently became a manager to a small gift shop located inside of a hospital. This is a new location for the owner who does own a couple of other stand alone gift shop type locations. My question is, what products would customers expect to see inside of a hospital gift shop. We already sell snacks and drinks, candles, lotions, Christmas items, tumblers, a few books and notepads, and bags and totes. We also have a few other miscellaneous items like otc cold medicines, toiletries, chargers, blankets, socks, etc. The products need to be a balance between what hospital employees would be interested in and what visitors and guests would be interested in. I'm worried about the longevity of product sales after the holiday ends and having products in store that will sell all year round.

I’ve seen some interesting dialog on this sub between managers and ICs in terms of honesty, career growth, expectations and what managers actually have the power to do.

It occurred to me that every job I’ve ever taken was because it was the only one offered. I’ve gone in relieved, a bit grateful, hoping for the best, but never feeling passionate - like this was my choice, my dream. Then, when/if the conversation turns to things like professional development, it almost feels like a “bad date,” where one person is making wedding plans and the other just wants to pay the check and get away.

I guess I’m curious if managers feel the same way - do you go through the motions, while realizing that you have people that are there because they have to be? Is there a way to broach this subject? Would it make a difference? For example, how would you react if a direct report came clean about this and basically said “take the asphalt you were using for my ‘career path’ and give to someone else and just let me do my thing, as painlessly as possible.”

Maybe the obvious answer is yes, but my previous bost and I, as well as the rest of the team would get into regular altercations with our last boss.

He was an external hire and used the mantra "I do not need to know or understand your processes and daily business, to be able to make them leaner and take care of strategy. I have taken a coach certification and I am here to coach you"

He wouldn't know anything even a year into his position. Like the most basic thing.

But how can you make processes leaner or take care of strategy if you don't even have a subpar understanding? Why do so many people think this?

My company is about to go through the annual employee performance review process.

One employee (#1) told another (#2), "I hear that you may be leaving us!" and then said, "Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that!"

I wasn't present, but a third employee who was present told me what happened.

Employee 2 probably thinks that they may be getting let go, but that's not the case.

As a manager of all three employees, other than mentioning this to Employee #2 during their own review, would you do anything?

(Management at my company is by committee, with about 12 people in management all able to vote on decisions; I can't fire or help anyone all by myself.)

Hi everyone, looking for some advice on what to do with a potentially delicate situation.

I'm the manager of a veterinary practice with about 25 employees. Our newest team member is 17 and she started a little over a month ago and I have growing concerns for her wellbeing at home. She's so bubbly, bright, kind, friendly and we all love her. She has a few 'quirks' that makes me think something is seriously wrong at home. A few things that either me or other employees have noticed that make alarms bells go off in our heads:

~ Flinches strongly when someone reaches above her to get something

~ Extremely apologetic, especially when corrected, to the point of tears

~ Jokes she'd rather live at work and doesn't want to go home

~ Occasionally has intense 'staring spells', where she becomes absence and unresponsive

~ Casually mentioned she has to frequently stay with her Aunt when her "Dad has one of his outbursts"

- Always seems watchful and hyper-alert

~Talks super negatively about herself, even though she talks kindly and warmly to others

~Had a large red mark on her arm two days ago, when I tried to talk to her about it, it went something like this: Me: 'That looks sore, how'd that happen?' Her: 'Oh you know, these things happen I guess'

She's significantly younger than us all, the next youngest employee is 26. She's such a delightful person and a really hard worker, so we're all really worried about her and want to help her somehow. The question is: how? Is there anything that I can do for her that would actually have an impact or would it just be in vein? Am I overreacting? Any advice is welcome, thanks!

Restaurant managers, how would you handle a team leader who is supposed to help run the floor but tends to sit back and disengage during slower times? They don’t take initiative to assign tasks, follow up on cleaning or timers, or guide the team. What would you say or do to address this and ensure they step up in their leadership role?

What do you do when you realize that everything is just getting too crazy and too much? Unfeasible workloads, employees who don't want to work? Supervisors who are at their own limits and fall ill? Long working hours?

What do you do to stay relaxed and healthy?

My colleague and I are both managers in a restaurant. Yesterday she opened the restaurant whilst I was on a double closing shift. It wasn’t crazy busy so she told me I could go at one point to go unpack deliveries. However, it got a little busier so I stuck around to help. I was asked if I wanted to order some food whilst she was still there so I did.

I was helping to polish some glasses because I saw it was starting to pile up and since head office was there I didn’t want them to see that.

After a while I noticed that she wasn’t around anymore and figured maybe she’d come back so I could go eat my food. It got to a point I realised she had gone home and didn’t say bye nor had she left through the front door like usual. I felt I did something wrong so I was feeling really anxious the rest of the shift. It doesn’t help that I had to come back in the morning to open, so I was sleep deprived yay.

Now today, when she came in she was noticeably distant towards me. Not outwardly rude but I could tell something was off. She was laughing and joking with everyone else but she wouldn’t talk or look me in the eye much.

It got to the end of my shift when I approached to ask if she was ok and if I did anything. She explained that instead of putting away deliveries I was polishing glasses when the bar didn’t need any help. She said she went home and said to her husband how I’m normally really good but I could’ve done this. I was just agreeing and nodding to her words. But now I’m thinking that she could’ve just reminded me at the time. And it feels really passive aggressive for her to leave and not say bye. I also don’t know if she would’ve said anything had I not in the first place. I can’t handle when someone is disappointed or annoyed with me and prefer them to say something straight away so I can work on it. I went home and had a little cry.

I don’t know if my feelings are justified here. Can anyone help me? This post is so long sorry!

After completing a year in a FinTech company I resigned without having any offer in hand. What made me to take this decision? High level of micromanaging and unrealistic expectations.

While we live in 2024 my boss and her boss lives in the 1500s or maybe even before. They created a group where my teammates were expected to post a message even to take a washroom break. Talking to people from other departments were prohibited, where as we ideated and executed the employee volunteering activities. Most of the days we heard comments like "Talking to you is like talking to a kindergarten kid, Don't use your brain, Your work is dull and boring, this looks like a dumping ground" Have tried to have an open conversation with both of them separately countless times. I even approached the HR and it didn't yield anything.

What else can I do?

I am an employee at an agency. I find that my operations director has been using my ideas to formulate his own policies for many years. My work styles, visions. Is this legal? He is earning more than twice I earn but I don’t feel it is fair they do this without any form of compensation

I’ve worked my way from IC to Team Manager on a medium size company IT service desk. Managing about three years now, my good director got laid off and the new Director is cold as ice.

Question is he gives us “tenants” and one of them we can’t fail is “no surprises”.

What this has turned into is complete eggshells among me and a few other managers, maybe more are unhappy under him too that I don’t know about.

Basically nobody knows how much or little to share. If you screw up he will reprimand you publicly.

Been hoping to wait him out. I’m 13 years in with this company.

Is it toxic?