This morning I was jolted awake by the spray of McWake Up Substance misted over my SleepCrate. Once I was done voluntarily and happily praising TheCorporation, within earshot of the comms. I noticed that there wasn't more than a trickle of tap water flowing from the faucet and what did flow out made me violently ill. Apparently nestle had bought out the water company and decreased both the quality and amount of water per household. When I inquired about this I was told I could buy some tablets from Nestle or simply keep pissing KoolAid. Does dying of thirst violate the NAP? Nestle has partnered with the McNationalGuard so who do I shoot about it?

Jordan Belfort went from making a million dollars a week at 26 to international criminal by 36. The Wolf of Wall Street exposes the rathole infested American economy and profiles what kind of people fulfill the American dream to the highest degree. With a little help from the Martin Scorsese masterpiece, this show depicts the high speed lifestyle of top echelon stock brokers who gain access to globally influential amounts of wealth.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/EWDxwx7xrdc

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nicks-non-fiction/id1450771426

SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-570445450/nicks-non-fiction-wolf-of-wall-street

In this 15 page story Leonard E. Read follows the life of a pencil around the world. Written at the height of McCarthyism, this book showed the masses the benefit to a free market via the life of a pencil, meanwhile Soviets stood on line for bread and toilet paper. "But it wasn't real communism." When one entity controls the means of production, rising industries are unable to maintain pure competition. Drop in for a comic's crash course if not just to reaffirm some Austrian economics.

YT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w22Rw5z0SaQ&feature=youtu.be

iTunes: http://feeds.soundcloud.com/users/soundcloud:users:576068820/sounds.rss

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-570445450/nicks-non-fiction-ipencil/s-241EIGGzBkg

So about a week ago I was in my roadside tent making bakery items on my open charcoal stove; while my Contract UnderPerson mixed Plaster of Paris into the dough. Obviously me being the industrialist that I am, ordered my property to continue adding plaster to the dough until it became a nice solid white color. Then I took a well deserved break so I could take some Egyptian Steroids in preparation for my next bike race. Then once I was done with that I fried up my hunks of plaster in some "Undisclosed Mammal Fat". I made some great money and was care free until a week later when some guy started threatening me over making his entire workhouse sick with my "bread". So anyway how do I make this guy go away when I can't afford the "Nameless Goon Plus" plan?

When I signed our contract to live in our McNeighborhood, the contract stated that:

No heavy vehicles (Greater than 5 tons, or greater than 3 axles) are allowed through the McNeighborhood, whether personal or commercial

He has blatantly disregarded this clause by allowing semis and other trucks to drive through.

I have tried to take him to court. Unfortunately his lawyers are dragging out the process, and I can't afford it anymore. Do I have any recourse?

Before you ask:

• Yes I verified that the trucks violated that clause, either by weight, axle count or both
• The landowner does own the roads
• No, the terms of the contract did not change before the incidents.

So I a Freely-Associating Panama InCorporated Entity am in need of some dental work. Now just so you know who your talking to; I'm not one of those Indebted-Non-Person who lost their teeth as a way to settle their debts. Unlike those desperate failed Indebted Peasants; I lost my teeth the respectable old fashion way. My boss an oh so benevolent Land-Baron had kindly Voluntold me to try out the new worker alertness aid. Long story short I did too much Corporate Meth and now I don't have any teeth. I would try the tradition route of simply buying and Under-Persons Teeth via the app but I've been banned for asking questions about the Corporate Meth :/. I'm not sure who to shoot about as the end result would not bring about any new teeth. Tips? And please do not suggest any foreign made lab grown teeth; I'm tired of waking up with a mouth full of dissolved calcium.

A few days ago I was going about my job as a Contracted Factory Agent collecting animal corpses for the Reclaimed Protein Facility. As I was picking up some rodent carcass some pesky fleas hopped onto me, clearly violating our prior NAP. Being the industrious Free Individual that I was I gave myself a fine coating of the DDT my boss had given to me, to ward off those pesky vermin and street children. Long story short I got sick with whatever and now I can't leave the hospital the BioCorp took me to. What do?

It was a hot day on the homestead just at the start of nose bleed and dust storm season. I had sold all of my drug operations and rightfully occupied the "public land" of my dreams. I was herding my house cat farm letting them feed on wildlife. When some "authority figure" the wildlife warden confronted me. He started whining that my cats had eaten his birds of paradise to extinction. Me being the captain of industry I am, shot him once he started talking about "the tragedy of the commons". Obviously I had to protect myself from his pro statist nonsense. So any ideas if how to deal with his NAP before they release the hounds? I would've offered heroin but I've sold everything.

Bureaucrats from a nearby socialist city-state are willing to double the fees paid to pump water from the wells on my land over that of the amount in the local MegaBottledWaterCorp’s current contract with me. They want to build an orphanage and need more water to support the facility.

It seems like maximizing profits is a no-brainer and that I should drop the MegaBottledWaterCorp and make a new contract with the statist thugs. However it then occurred to me that I’d be getting my money from taxes (theft). Also, the MegaBottledWaterCorp, although they would be paying less to me, has graciously offered to sell water bottles directly to orphans at a discounted rate so that the kids can bathe and hydrate if the municipal water isn’t working.

I know it sounds crazy that I would second-guess profits, but wouldn’t profiting from tax money (theft) make me another statist thug? I like the MegaBottledWaterCorp’s market-based approach to water distribution. I think too the difference in profit I’d be making is effectively private charity which we can all agree is superior to government coercion.

What should I do? And can I shoot my way to an optimal decision?

My neighbors, one who quietly and respectfully runs a FactoryFarmPlus and the other who has a successful CompensatedOrganHarvestCenter, have for years kept peace through a voluntary treaty scheme in which they agreed to keep their arms stockpile limited to semiautomatic rifles and sonic deterrents. Recently however, my neighbor to the southwest got in a dispute with government thugs from a nearby socialist city-state. They’re upset over runoff from my neighbor’s 1,000 strong herd of BioBovine sickening their citizens, even though my neighbor is graciously compensating for every death, including double for children. In response to an unprovoked and outrageous threat by the state to seize his cattle over the dispute, my neighbor decided to get laser drones to fend off any attempts.

Alarmed about the new arms imbalance, my northern neighbor canceled the voluntary non-proliferation pact and has switched to enforcing the NAP through mutually assured destruction. I think my neighbor to the south then acquired some sort of basic artillery while the other has been training their WorkHouseChildren and ContractOrganFarmers to operate shoulder-mounted surface-to-surface rocket propelled kinetic weapons.

I am, of course, totally fine with all of this. However, seeing where this is going and given the range of possible outcomes in the near future, my question is this:

How deep should I build my defense bunker, how much food should I store, and how many SurplusIndividuals should I keep down there on hand in case of disaster?

So there I was skulking about the sewer watching my UnderPerson work hard at collecting all the waste those statist FatCats had egregiously washed down the drain. When suddenly I was surrounded by a group of PipeDwellers who stole both my UnderPerson and my drum of shi- UnprocessedBioLipids. Dragging UnderPerson off without even bothering to let me pull It's teeth so I could atleast recoup some costs. Without my slave around to guide me through the sewers I was lost for days eating rats. But me being quite the industrialist, pulled myself up by my bootstraps by selling my blood. Anyway since I'm not crazy enough to actually risk my life to reclaim my property, and I don't subscribe to this so called "social contract" who do I call and or pay off?

I cannot figure out how to leave my home. My neighbor now owns all the property surrounding my home, above and below ground. There is no door on the fence surrounding my home. I can't violate the NAP by damaging his private property, but I can no longer receive water and food shipments via drone delivery as the neighbor purchased the rights to the airspace. I've received notices that I can have a door installed for 30Trillion HebeCoins, but I don't have that kind of money. What do I do?

edit

UPDATE:

I was able to speak to the company that built the fence. They say since I do not have the funds to have a door installed, I can sign a voluntary work-for-life contract with them. I am concerned about this becuase the contract never mentions anything about payment for my labor.

I'm currently Worker-Held in an off the grid farming community gone wrong! Help! Things started out great but we all soon became serfs.

As potential ContractFarmers we gave up some unimportant tidbits like our firstborn and first choice to my liver; and for my struggles I was rewarded. Me my Contract-Partrner and WorkHouseChildren farmed food on our plot of land given to us by our Oh-So-Loving™ Corpocrats. And for a few years everything went well we got new shipments of UnderPersons whom I've happily enslaved to the fullest. The untraceable currency flowed uninhibited to my crypto wallet that only I had access to, (never mind those hungry children, I needed my grey market stimulants).

But now our Corpocrats have been forcefully bought out by Nestle-Tyson who immediately changed our status to Serfdom™ rather than ContractFarmer. They've salted out crops and forced us to farm SweetOpium™. On top of that what little food we do farm has to be bought back from Nestle-Tyson.

My household is starving and the Corpocrats are about to follow through on that liver harvest! Who do we shoot?

So there I was in my fortified sub-terrain bunker going about my day monitoring my unregulated Meth delivery business when I noticed an UltraDope drone had gone silent. I quickly activated the mercenary retrieval team but apparently they don't "interact" with non-civilians.

So after a few calls to UltraDope International that went nowhere. I went to go see my legally owned Slav-, I mean WorkPersons. So I arrive just to see an empty WorkHouse with dozens of unworn ElectroBehavior collars on the ground.

I now have no slaves and all of my UltraDope shipments were taken by poachers. So who exactly do I shoot about this to?

So today I was going about my job pollenating my crops by hand due to our lapsed EcologyPLUS account. When our self imposed corpocrats came around and crop dusted our plots with herbicide. We're now being sued for loss of potential profits, resulting in them selling my childr- I mean contracted Non-Persons to the workhouse colonies. So how should I prevent the oncoming raid of our homestead by the slavers?

I had a maple seed in my front yard. My neighbor picked it up and chucked it into what used to be a functioning municipal sewer. In my version of the NAP, tree begins at seed. In my view, a seed is the same as a fully grown, viable maple tree.

He is walking around all nonchalant right now. I don't know what NAP he abides by and I definitely don't think he understands the gravity of what he's done.

Should I petition our local warlord to assign an arbitrator to this injustice or should I just ambush the guy with a "conversation"?

So I was going about my day tending to my cricket farm (gotta get that cheap protein) while in the off season for my mushroom and algae tanks. When one of my legally owned Surplus-Individuals negligently left the door open to my bunker in his failed attempt to escape. As a result a swarm of my crickets escaped and have ravaged the nearby homesteads. And to add insult to injury many peasants dispossessed by the workhouse fire, caught many of my Insect-Livestock and ate it. So to cut it short what can I do to fend off the incoming attack on my bunker by other homesteaders as well as sue the Workhouse for negligently letting their Non-People steal my labor?

I was dropping off my privately owned servants at the workhouse so I could go about my job as a freelance uranium miner. When I noticed that all of the roads signs had been changed to Chinese and was stopped by a Sovereign-Contract Officer on behalf of Huawei who told me my neighborhood would soon be converted to a phone factory. I was given the choice of moving my Freely-Associating household into company dorms or that I would be prosecuted in their ContractCourt by Huawei for trespassing, either that or simply leave with none of my property. So how can I remedy this situation? Should I seek mediation in their ContractCourts or should I simply form a group to invest in the Sovereign Coup package? I can reward any good solutions in Soverign Bucks for any of you free thinkers out there.

Ron Paul 2012!