I met my girlfriend over two years ago at a Kizomba party. We started as friends, spent a lot of time together, went on many dates, and eventually became a couple. We’re both dancers, and our relationship has been rock solid for over two years now. I’m so committed that I even bought a ring to propose and hired a photographer for the proposal. I’ve invested a lot into this relationship.

Kizomba has also been a huge part of my life. I've danced for the past 10 years and have always said I’d keep dancing until the day I die. It’s more than just a hobby – it’s part of my identity, and the culture, music, and mental impact are powerful for me. I’ve also been attending festivals frequently for years, although life has been hectic lately, so I’ve only gone to two in the past year. Recently, I finally found a free weekend to go to one, which was set for three weeks before my planned proposal.

When I told my girlfriend about it, her reaction surprised me. She became distant, standoffish, and even a little hostile. Sensing something was wrong, I asked her about it. She eventually opened up and said she felt uncomfortable with me going to festivals because of the perceived intimacy of dancing with strangers. This was the first time in our relationship she had expressed this concern so directly, which caught me off guard, especially since I’ve always been open about my passion for Kizomba and my frequent festival attendance.

She went on to explain that she feels she can’t be in a healthy relationship if her partner is dancing socially with random people. For clarity, I’ve always danced respectfully and within boundaries. I don’t use Kizomba to pursue anything beyond dancing with my partners, and I’ve been very disciplined over the years. She acknowledged that she respects how much Kizomba means to me and understands it’s part of my identity, but she now realizes that social dancing like this crosses her personal boundaries. Essentially, she’s asking me to choose between her and Kizomba. I can't have both.

This woman is the love of my life, the only one I’ve ever wanted to marry. But Kizomba is deeply ingrained in who I am, and I’d feel miserable without it. Now, I’m faced with an incredibly difficult choice.

What should I do?

What is your feeling about "Douceur", the type of dance mainly performed after 4 a.m. on festivals?

Anyone have any invites to WhatsApp group chats where I can keep aware of the best Kizomba events in London? I like to make last minute, spontaneous decisions to join dances I enjoyy

Olá pessoal, como estão? Alguém sabe se há sociais ou festas na área de Santo Tirso e arredores? E no Porto e arredores, há boas festas e uma kizomba scene porteira? Agradeço desde já 🤗

Does anyone have any blogs or videos explaining the rule of 3?

I’ve noticed that quite a few kizomba dancers prefer to wear flip flops/ thongs when on the dancefloor… quite often the good and experienced dancers too.

Is there a reason for this or is it just a matter of comfort? Or am I just being silly haha

What is your preferred style to dance if you have one?

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Hey all, does anyone have any recommendations for online stores to shop at (that ship to Europe) that have nice flared leggings? Also interested in ones with prints.

Is the torso of the leader straight or angled when leading? Difference in back cross and front cross?

Hello everyone, I have been dancing for long while and been to only quite small festivals because of my finances. Now I’m ready to explore internationally. I’m a salsa, bachata & kizomba dancer. So can someone please suggest me best SBK festival that I should never miss in North America.

Open to know even around the world SBK festivals.

What was your journey to kizomba dance like?

Did you do other dance styles like salsa and bachata before discovering kizomba or did you jump straight into the kizomba style?

I’ve noticed quite a people in the urban kiz and kizomba scene who never did other dance styles before dancing kizomba. This is surprising for me but I’m wondering if it’s more common than I think. For me and most follows I know salsa was the gateway dance but everyone has a different journey.

How did you discover kizomba, how long have you been dancing it, and what was your journey to it like? I would love to hear your story.

I understand Kizomba isn't as popular as Bachata or Salsa, but even in big, populated cities like New York, Miami, and Washington D.C. the Kizomba scene is so small.

While in Europe, the scene is so much bigger in cities like Madrid, Lisbon, and Paris.

Why is this? Will Kizomba ever become accessible like Salsa and Bachata, or will it always be more niche. What do you think?

Namely accelerations and slower tempo transitions. I’m thinking mostly about urban kiz as it’s where those sharp musicality and smooth slower tempo transitions appear more frequently.

Any recommendations for tutorials or advice? 😄

What are the actual sounds/samples used in urban kiz music production? Like the sharp, electric elements and how would I go about recreating or finding out how to make them myself?

I want to learn music theory so I can improve my piano skills and try to make my own remixes or completely new urban kiz beats, but I don’t know where to start

Any advice or recommendations?

I have been dancing Kizomba for about a year now as a lead. I would say I’m at the level of an improver (that is, between beginner and intermediate).

I’m looking for advice regarding my weight transfer.

When I dance with beginners or with Urban Kiz dancers, I notice that they don’t seem to transfer their weight as much as me (and my own weight transfer is far from perfect, mind you!)

I would say that this issue seems worse with Urban Kiz dancers, because when I’m dancing with Kizomba beginners, even if their weight transfer is limited, it feels like they are at least trying to do the same thing as me. Urban Kiz dancers seem to be doing something different on purpose.

In such cases, I still try to do my weight transfer as much as possible, but this isn’t working out too well because I end up "out of sync" with my partner and the dance isn’t very pleasant for either of us.

Do you people have any advice for me? Should I keep doing my weight transfer as much as possible or should I try to match my partner’s weight transfer?

Since moving back to my country, I have started teaching Kizomba. I have danced Kizomba and Urban Kiz for many years. What surprised and shocked me here is that teachers are teaching Urban/Fusion Kiz as if it were Kizomba, using more Urban Kiz music. DJs don't know the difference either.

Teachers often show "fancy" moves, like those from Tango or Bachata, in class. Most students, as far as I know, don't even know the basic steps of Kizomba. Leaders keep executing "moves" throughout a song and then switch partners, as in Salsa.

The Kizomba I know consists of 80-90% basic steps. Here, guys are dancing "Kizomba" by keeping executing basic 1 or 2 → Tango-like moves →, basic 1 or 2 →, Bachata-like moves →, basic 1 or 2 , and so on.

Should I teach them the difference between Kizomba and Urban/Fusion Kiz (the music and the characteristics of the movements)? Or would it be okay to let them dance this way as long as they’re happy?

I heard a few songs recently at a festival that were really good but of course couldn’t Shazam the remix version and I’m wondering if there are any tutorials for this specifically or where to get started

I noticed that on Kizomba/Kiz Floors on European SA/BA/KI festivals there are relatively many black guys, like maybe 20% of males, which is much more than on Bachata Floors or in the general poulation. Doesn't seem surprising as this dance has african roots.

But then why are there so few black women? They are only like 2%, so for every 10 black kizombero there is only 1 black kizombera. Why is that?

Hi I am a loan and kizomba dancer traveling to Miami for the first time does anyone have any tips on how to keep things very cheap mainly food I am traveling with friends and sharing a room again thanks in advance for all the help

Question to Kizomba teachers,

As a kizomba teacher, what movements do you not want to show in your class to avoid making it look like an urban or Fusion style?

Or can any tricks, moves, or lifts still be kizomba if the music is kizomba, zouk, etc., which can be danced in kizomba?

Hello!

I have picked up kizomba fairly recently (February). I made some attempts before but I dropped it several times since they barely play any kizomba at SBK events where I live.

I have an upcoming event this weekend and I am genuinely worried about not having a good time.

I am somewhat of a perfectionist and I don't see myself having the skill or variety required for an entire weekend of dancing.

What I know is that I can do all the basic stuff fine, idk the names in English but I can do the three basic steps, both saidas, raising the follow's leg and some footwork like touching without weight-shifts. I can combine and break these moves to fill up like three songs. I think my musicality is ok but I still struggle with some songs in styles that I don't know. I have been told quite a lot that I am a very smooth lead.

Now, part of the problem is that I don't know anything beyond that. Whenever I try to do anything that I learnt in a class, it only works inside that class and then I fumble on socials. I don't know what posture do I have but after about 1h dancing my right leg and upper back hurt, I try to stand straight and step confidently but it hurts anyways.

I am a pretty nervous person and when I am nervous I visibly shake. I get comments on this and it makes things worse. I do not know if the follow is having fun or not because, at the end of the day I am not doing anything fancy and I feel like I repeat myself a lot.

I like the dance, I love the music and when I feel comfortable with someone I enjoy this a lot.

But a lot of the time I am trapped inside my head, very insecure about what I am doing. Even when I get positive comments like I dance very well, I don't really believe them because I think that my skill is quite modest and I feel like I am doing nothing. I think that I get this a lot (in other dances as well) because (this is kind of embarrassing) I am conventionally very attractive.

I don't know what the point of this post is. I guess that I want reassurance. Are follows having fun just by walking around and doing basic steps?

Also I don't like the thing where you dance many songs one after another because I feel like the follow is going to cut the dance short and then I will overthink it and think that she must have gotten bored so I usually cut the dances myself when I start getting into my head or I have the aforementioned postural pain.

Hey yall !!!

Is anybody interested in being a moderator ??

Also what issues are you all having posting ??

there is a basic step that is about walking forward with left, then right, then left and back, and also can be done with a clock pendulum movement) I do not know what is the proper way to give the command to the follower with the left step so that she can follow me if i walk forward, moving backward

I like the ‘electric’ feel of urban kiz and I’d love to expand on it more. Techno/street/hip hop?

I’m mostly looking for isolations, moves to play with to musicality and mesmerising footwork