sooo i met this girl in my class, and she was telling me about her plans to go the beach this weekend with a big group of friends and said “you can come if you want “ now i know she meant something kind about it, but im a bit lost. 1. i am very very insecure to wear a bathing suit around a big group of people ive never met before. 2. ive had probably only 3 conversations with her. 3. this beach is a 3 hours drive away so if i did want to go i’d have to ask for a ride and she’s going with one of her friends car which means i’d have to ask a stranger i’ve never met before. i don’t know what to do, while i feel bad saying no i was planning on just staying in this weekend and reading some books and studying. plus she mentioned it in passing, not in a text, so even if i did want to go i’d be like “hey remember you invited me” hahaha. i feel so awkward do i send a text reminding her she invited me only to say thanks but no, or wait to see if she remembers and messages me to ask. while it sounds fun, i don’t want to be hours away with people ive never met before because i wouldn’t be able to leave if i become overwhelmed, id be stranded and depending on someone to take me back. if it was close to home id go but i don’t want to tell her that

Hi, all!

I’m 28 and at that age where you start to think about your future, settling down, whether you want kids, etc. I’ve been in relationships before, and I’ve been told that I’m quiet, not very social, etc - they didn’t necessarily mean it in a mean way, but I also knew that it wasn’t exactly a compliment, lol.

I’m starting to worry if my introverted nature will get in the way of finding someone. Dating really drains my energy, and the thought of living with someone 24/7 scares me. Any introverts out there with advice? Did you find your introvert partner, or maybe an extrovert who accepts you as you are? Or are you better off alone?

Alright, I honestly don't know where to say this so randomly posting here..... So, this person and I, know each other, hi-bye friends, not less not more.
It happened suddenly...... this hi-bye friend of mine, we outta nowhere became so close. Like, close enough to be my best friend. We hung out frequently. We actually became that close that we call frequently (something totally new for me)
I am more of the silent type. Thus, the person comes to me and initiates stuff most of the times. But when a new plan is initiated, I give the person my full focus and involvement.

Things were good for about three months. Until, that person's OG best friend came back. So, this OG best friend was gone out of town for a while. I know that person too. After the OG came back, this hi-bye friend who became my fr close friend Ditched me.
For a while, I thought that it was bez the OG didn't like me that much and it is true that the OG doesn't like me. When I used to hang out with my used-to-be bestfriend when the OG was around, the OG once literally commented in front of me to the ex-best friend that the person was leaching to me all the time.
After a while tho, when I tried to talk to the ex-bff, totally got ignored. That person atleast talked to me once or twice for a while but now, I am totally abandoned by ex-bff

Every time i see the person, I get this feeling of being Used and Discarded. It hurt so much.
Sorry to bore you guys😅

So, should I approach this person and talk things out? Or just, leave it?

Hi, I’m mom to an HSP introvert teen. She spends all weekend hiding out in her room with lights out and doing a lot of binge watching shows. She says she’s tired from the week of school. Even my introvert husband is worried because she’s not like reading or working on her hobbies. Can’t even get her out for fresh air. But we try to give her space because school can be a lot. How much should we be worrying?

I have a lot of extroverted friends… heck I’m married to a very extroverted partner (as is custom apparently). I don’t mind having extroverted friends and they all understand when I occasionally back out of things. However, sometimes I feel frustrated with myself for not wanting to do something. For example, we had the opportunity to take our baby to a Halloween event this weekend. The baby is still really little, so going to the event would just be an excuse to get us out of the house. For a variety of reasons, I just… didn’t feel like going when the time came. My husband didn’t mind, it was my idea to go in the first place and he agreed with my reasoning on changing plans. Yet, I feel frustrated with myself for not doing it. I see pictures of other people who are taking their babies everywhere and I feel like I’m missing out. We get out of the house plenty, I guess I just thought I’d suddenly want to do more once the baby was here. Does anyone else ever feel like you’re letting yourself down for not wanting to get out and do something?

Hello all,

I am working on a dating app that will help you find a date or friend based on your thoughts, views, interests, hobbies, opinions, mindset, and thought process. It will assess your personality and behavioral traits and give you a match according to that.

Recently I came across this issue where I want to meet someone but I don't want them to because of their appearance and beauty, I needed someone with whom I share the same amount of maturity, interest, hobbies thoughts, and perspectives.

So I thought if there is nothing for this then let's build something.

Please give me your opinions about this idea and what we can remove and add.

Which one you prefer listening?

(I'm not english native, but i love learning language, so i didn't use translator for this, if i made any misstake with my grammar or something, let me know.)

Hey guys i just joined here, because after a long time, i accepted my introvertion, I've passed throughout several years being told by my fathers and some teachers that im so reserved and asocial, and it's just stressing.

I thought i needed to change that, and I felt a bit bad of myself for it, like, I'll be a disasater in life without a well built up social base? Even my fathers want and need me to learn how to dance to not do something shameful in my graduation party (I can go to social events that aren't so filled up with people and just say hi and sit around). At the end i just learned to care less about this, and I accepted myself as an introvert.

The thing I don't know is if i'm shy? I don't sweat and I don't have a panic attack with other people around (if it isn't something embarrasing hapenning like public tease from part of my classmates, that you know, it's not with a bad intention, but anyways it's so damn awkward) but my conversations when i don't have something to point out, like a specific topic, my mind goes blank. And even that, if i talk about something i like and know, it's not hard, but feels a bit awkward, like thinking, "are you interested in this? are you boring?" and i keep doing with that feeling. Even I hesitate a bit, no, not a bit, a lot, to talk about things that could make other feel bad, or could be polemic, good example of this was that i had to told to one of my classmates that i would had to kick them off the group, by a grupal decission (including me), and it was so hard..

I don't think that extroverts really understand. I was talking to my friend and I was telling him I prefer texting. He said that texting and things like that aren't very personal. He said that if he tells a joke the most he might get is an lol 5 minutes later. In a way I understand but I don't like being put on the spot with phone calls. Maybe it just gives me anxiety because of my family. It feels like a lot of my uncles expect split second responses. If I don't answer within a millisecond it seems like they get mad. If I take too long to think of an answer they think I am lying or hiding something. I don't know. I just don't really like phone calls. It takes a special kind of person to have me actually want to talk to them on the phone. By special I mean they're actually pleasant and understanding to talk to. I don't feel like I am being judged or rushed to answer them.

I'm introverted and they're always outside. The neighbor on the left is a nice family man but his kids are noisy and always yelling (two are in high school)... The neighbor on the right is a bit odd. One of the daughters neighbors would always park in front of our house cuz they can't park in front of theirs cuz they got a fire hydrant. They used to go on my property to use my basketball net without permission. Then would get mad when I confronted them.... Then her mother is super weird. She tried to get me to marry her nephew for money cuz he wants a visa. So I said no. But then she brought him over anyways and my mom let them in.

So I kind of figured out what times they go to work and what times they're usually not outside. So I will just go super early to do errands or super late. Because I know they won't go out at that time. It's worked most of the time. I know it's a bit odd but they would try to talk to me and I will say hi back but I hate small talk. And I find them odd sometimes.

As an introvert (26F), I’ve found myself declining social invites more and more, but I always feel like I’m disappointing my friends. I don’t want to seem uninterested or rude, but sometimes I just need quiet time. How do you say no in a way that keeps friendships intact without feeling guilty?

I (25F) love my friends, but I often find myself avoiding their texts and calls because I’m not mentally prepared to hang out. It feels like my need for alone time is constantly conflicting with my desire to stay connected. How do you balance maintaining friendships without sacrificing your personal space?

I (28F) always feel a sense of relief when plans I’ve made days or weeks in advance get canceled last minute. I like my friends and want to hang out, but sometimes the thought of socializing drains me before I even get started. Does anyone else feel like this, or am I overthinking it?

My partner is really extroverted and loves being out and about, but I need a lot of downtime. Sometimes it feels like we’re on different wavelengths when it comes to socializing. How do you manage this kind of dynamic in your relationship without feeling overwhelmed?

I have a close friend who always wants to have long phone conversations, but talking on the phone drains me. I prefer texting or short calls, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings. How do you handle friends who expect constant phone communication?

I just got back from a family reunion, and I feel completely drained. I love my family, but being around so many people for hours leaves me exhausted. What are your go-to ways to recharge after long social events like this?

Just as the title says pretty much. Wanted to ask all of you as my crew from work is planning their annual “holiday dinner”. I went last year and it drained me for the entire next day, ruined my night and I didn’t enjoy it (same as any social gathering). There isn’t a set date so they keep trying to find dates that work for everyone to go, and just like every time something like this happens I wish I could just say I’m all set but I know they’ll take it personally and I’ll never hear the end of it. I don’t mind them as people at work but I also prefer to spend my energy elsewhere outside of work …. Always end up going to these things though to avoid the issues. Do you just come up with excuses every time? Force yourself to go? Straight up say no and let them get offended?

It’s even harder as an introvert to find a partner after college years. Arranged marriage doesn’t sound bad to me anymore.

After looking into someone's eyes too long I look away. Most of the time I just glance at the person when I'm responding. A rumor was falsely spread about me at work that I seem like I'm on the spectrum because of this.

The truth is.... I dislike prolonged eye contact with people I don't know, because it feels way too intimate.

Can anyone relate?

Would you as a introvert work with kids? Trying to find a job and found one as an assistant at a elementary school, I would be working with the younger kids. Honestly if I had to choose I’d much rather work with kids than adults, but at the same time I feel like even though I’d be more comfortable, kids can be absolutely exhausting to deal with , especially all day. Would you personally still take the job? If not what other jobs are you/would you be ok with?

My dad wants me to start calling him more often, once a week to be exact. I don’t have that much to say every week and I don’t like talking that often. I think it’s the introverted side of me but I’m just not feeling it. I personally prefer once every 2 weeks. Our relationship is not bad but we are not the closest nor do we have much in common. How often do you guys talk to your parents over the phone? Is once a week normal? I have to ask because I know I'm part of the minority.

Had to attend a family lunch today; I’m not especially close to my family, and find stuff like this emotionally hard work. Had a couple of glasses of wine because… eeekk, family lunch. I don’t normally drink so was a bit tipsy, not outrageously so though, but am now reliving every single conversation and interaction, and feeling like an idiot. Husband tells me I was absolutely fine, eldest son (27) tells me I was fine, but I’m still overanalysing everything and have slumped into a depression this evening. Clearly I need to not drink, but my family are so difficult to deal with

Preface: I don’t view quietness as a flaw in others. It’s just something that I am insecure about in my own personality/nature.

My quietness insecurity has been a lifelong battle of mine, but it’s definitely gotten better over the years. Now it rarely rears it’s ugly head, usually when I’ve been around a group of people for a long time and ended up being the quietest one there. My fear is that there is something causing my quietness, and I need to figure out what it is, because if I can name it I can fix it, and maybe then I would finally be satisfied with my social life and personality. Therefore, it’s really hard to put down my relentless mission of “finding what’s wrong with me” because I imagine there would be this huge reward if my search was successful. Does anyone relate to this? I know most likely that I am the one standing in my own way, trying to convince myself there is something wrong with me when in reality if I was secure in my quietness I wouldn’t have an issue with it. And if there was something obviously wrong, I would’ve figured it out by now. Plus, I’ve already seen professionals as part of my mental health journey. But at the end of the day it must be just who I am… or is it? You see what I mean 🤨

That’s the short and skinny of it.

The longer version is that while I feel it was the right decision to leave my former job, being back in an office five days a week has been nothing short of uncomfortable, and also feels wrong in its own way. I was just curious how many fellow introverts here work in an office or work from home. I didn’t think about the little things that might be difficult about working in an office setting when I was interviewing for this job. General background office noise usually doesn’t bother me, but people lingering near my desk having these loud, long-winded conversations; being hollered at from the other side of the office when we have Microsoft Teams chat for God’s sake; women hanging around and talking in the bathroom when you’re trying to have a quiet moment. 🤯 I could go on, but this is just a sample of the office environment that I conveniently forgot about somehow because I wanted more money and to do something different.

But I miss working in my own space. The reason I left my old job had more to do with some of the people than the job itself except that it didn’t pay very well. However, it was the kind of job where I could sit in my own company, listen to podcasts, and do my work independently without much interruption. I say “much” because I did work around dogs all day long and they could get a little rowdy and put my nerves on edge, but now that I’ve been back in an office, I think I prefer dog rowdiness to office rowdiness.

So now I’m torn. I don’t love the idea of finding another job right after starting a new one. There is a part of me that wants to get out of it what I can before I move on again. With that being said, I have a pretty solid feeling that the job itself and the environment aren’t for me, which makes me think I should go ahead and start looking for something I’d be better suited for and vice versa.

If COVID had never happened this may not even be an issue. I’ve always been introverted, but pre-pandemic remote work just wasn’t an option for the most part and I’d always worked in an office. I thought I could just set my mindset backward by 5 years and it would be fine, but it’s occurred to me in the last couple weeks that it may not have been the best idea for me to just pretend like it didn’t happen. Covid did happen and it changed so much about the way we (as a society but also as introverts) work. My new company apparently was business as usual after the first wave of COVID hit, which I wasn’t aware of until I started my job, and prefer to have their people in the office. Trust me, I’ve already tried to feel out my manager’s thoughts and they didn’t seem to want to encourage working from home.

I don’t really have a question. I guess I’m just complaining and looking for solidarity, lol. Sorry, I don’t have a therapist. Guess I should look into that.

I struggle with this, as I really enjoy doing my own thing but also don’t like burning bridges or losing connections to people I’d like to keep as friends.

It’s difficult when you know 100% you’d have a better time doing what you wanted but for some reason feel guilty turning someone down. It’s strange that our instincts sort of nag us to do things that aren’t in our best interests.

Ive recently stumbled upon a youtube channel nammed Jak Piggot and he sorts of brands his videos as helping people that are introverts or have social anxiety, but sometimes i feel like his advice comes back to saying "talk more" which honestly i think isn't a good advice to anybody that has difficulties speaking to people. If there is anybody else that knows about those video, are those advices actually good ?/ Do they actually click with you ?

I feel disconnected from this modern western world. It is my world but I feel like it wasn't. It is like a distant planet. Its costumes, habits, interactions are strange. I don't know what to do. I am puzzled and bitterly disappointed. Women and men interactions are a total mess to me. I feel like I am never going to make any progress in the real world. (And thinking thoroughly. I don't think if I want to)

Anyway one else watch the phone ring, then text a few minutes later and be like “Sorry I missed your call, what’s up?” lol

I feel overwhelmed when i get unwanted attention and dont know how to act

Oh no. This is the wikipedia intro to 'Passive-Aggressive:

Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by a pattern of passive hostility and an avoidance of direct communication. Inaction where some action is socially customary is a typical passive-aggressive strategy. Such behavior is sometimes protested by associates, evoking exasperation or confusion.

Who do we call to be this straightened out? Mr. Wikipedia, where are you?