this is so orwellian, i was literally just trying to help a friend with a tummy ache. this isn't what jeff magnum died for!

Silver Jews? Actually Gentiles.

Yo La Tengo DON'T actually have it.

Radiohead is Lemonade Mouth.

MBV are actually IRA psyop.

Have a Nice Life = motivational speakers who just want people to enjoy to enjoy life :)

Wilco did 9/11 (real).

(Sandy) Alex G was paid off by Big Last.fm Premium (tm) to change his name twice so everyone would have all of their scrobbles ruined and have to pay to fix them.

Swirlies promote shoegays agenda.

Lemony Snicket ghostwrote all of The Magnetic Fields songs.

Sebastian & Belle "Lionmilk" coverup.

Harness Your Hopes was never a song, it's actually an implanted memory stored in the collective consciousness by the Spotify Algorithm.

Rex Orange County doesn't actually suck (DO NOT RESEARCH).

The Pixies actual name is just "Pixies."

Jonathan Richman invented indie and punk (kinda actually true lol).

Elliott Smith is an anagram of Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or is actually about Christian Existentialism.

Nick Drake co-starred in Drake and Josh.

/mu/core runs the global elite, NWO global currency will just be topsters.

Phil Elverum cinematic universe (also C&L and ACLaM are about the same person, Phil is Sufjan's dad).

Kurt Cobain never died, he faked his death and became Ariel Pink.

Long Season water splashing subliminal messaging.

Secret government messages are encoded in Trout Mask Replica's polyrhythms.

Beach House stole Silver Soul from Kendrick.

Will Toledo 2016 "successful exercise in generating ‘Sadness’" experiment.

Beck James Bond shared persona Hypothesis.

"Sweet Trip fucking sucks"

Lift to Experience divine inspiration.

David Byrne "This is not my beautiful wife" Jamais vu delusion.

Weatherday Franz Kafka synecdoche.

The Killers death cult proposal ("Coming out of my cage" refers to Thanatos in Sisyphean canon).

Lofi astroturfed genre shift from slacker rock to bedroom pop.

Jeff Magnum killed Anne Frank time machine hypothesis (semen as tachyon particle bullets shot to "stain the mountaintops" in the past).

Reduplicative paramnesia 50 states project.

Modest Mouse, Fleet Foxes, Dr. Dog are all anthropomorphic spirits of the forest brought to life by the forest god Pan.

VV / W erasure.

Robert Smith of "The Smiths" and Morrissey of "The Morrisseys" name swap, "The Cure" coverup.

Jeff Buckley merman proposition.

Limmy "Wrong Way Down a One Way Street" Thom Yorke Doppelgänger theory.

m e x i c

a n f ú t b o l

Interpol funded by UN, NATO, and MATADOR.

RYM solely run by Scaruffi bots and Fantanodrones from a dystopian future.

Who is & Nico?

True Indie music has no listeners (quantum sonic indeterminacy observer paradox).

Unmarked spoilers for all of Twin Peaks.

Last night, FBI Deputy Director Gordon Cole had a Monica Belucci dream. Due to advances in dream-recording technology, you can watch it here.

In that dream, Cole was at a street cafe in Paris. Bellucci's friends invited him for a coffee, after which Agent Cooper appeared. Seeing Cole's reaction, Bellucci began to quote the Ancient Texts, saying, "We are like the dreamer who dreams, and then lives inside the dream." Generating the question: "But, who is the dreamer?"

Luckily, the dream was captured on camera, and you can watch it here.

And today, we finally answer it. My friends, the dreamer is alleged-albino Phoebe Bridgers.

Context

In 1989, the FBI sent Special Agent Dale Cooper to investigate the murder of Laura Palmer.

This is after the dissappearance of two previous FBI Agents, both of whom disappeared after investigating missing teenagers. Those are, of course, Chester Desmond, who disappeared in a trailer park while looking for Theresa Banks, and Philip Jeffries, who disappeared after looking for Judy. Well now, I'm not gonna talk about Judy. In fact, we're not gonna talk about Judy at all, we're gonna keep her out of it.

Cooper eventually solves the mystery, with the help of the executives at ABC. Essentially, Laura was killed by a man named Bob. Bob is Judy's son, but Cooper doesn't know that yet, and doesn't know who Judy is yet.

What is Bob?

Bob is from another place. Many beings from another place enjoy eating Garmonbozia, which is a corn-like substance created by human misery. Most of the beings from another place just sort of watch people hang out and suffer and, because our lives are so miserable already, just sort of eat up the Garmonbozia they can find. So, we're all just shitting out corn every time we watch 90 Day Fiance. But, Bob is eviler than most, because he is Judy's son, and Judy is basically pure negativity. So, Bob goes around causing as much misery as possible. Then there's a whole thing with horses, the discovery channel, living maps, and beef jerky, leading to the reveals that Bob is inhabiting Laura's father, Leland, and Judy is inhabiting Laura's mother, Sarah, and they maybe have a horse? Meanwhile, someone sells shovels.

Back in 1989, Cooper began to date someone named Annie. Annie is fine. While attempting to save Annie from the Black Lodge, Cooper is chased and eventually overcome by his doppelganger, leaving Cooper trapped in the Lodge. Turns out Laura is also trapped in the lodge, because she was wearing a magic owl ring when she died. The magic owl ring makes Bob kill whomever is wearing it and transport the spirit to the Red Room, which is a red room in the Black Lodge. It maybe turned Bowie into a teapot.

So, with Laura and Cooper trapped in the Lodge, she's all "See you in 25 years." I guess they just looked in other directions for the rest of the time.

So he just sits there and waits?

I guess. Cooper is so lazy he doesn't even stand up. 25 years Later, he is still trapped in the lodge, having done shit-all. And they lecture us on entitlement. The Bad Cooper has been out conspiring with Philip Jeffries, who hasn't been seen either in-person or in-kettle since he randomly appeared at the FBI ranting about Judy. BadCoop has been working with Jeffries to find this Judy.

To do this, BadCoop has created a glass box in New York that can capture beings from another place. It clearly cannot capture them for long, but it can get them in one place at one time, which adds a lot of value because time is not strictly linear. Additionally, as Judy is basically a demon, she's summoned by sex magic, which is why there is a casting couch by the glass box. This is what happens in the first episode of the Return, which is why Mia-from-Californication deadface seduces-Discount-Matt-Saracen in the first episode, summoning Judy, and killing them both.

Anyways, long story short, BadCoop is eventually lured to Sheriff Truman - no not THAT Sheriff Truman - and they get rid of BadCoop and Cooper reconstitutes into one being. Or does he? Because I think he poops out a Dougie, so technically part of him is missing.

Appropos of nothing, David Bowie is like, "I'm a sexy tea kettle now, and by the way, I travel through time." Naturally, Cooper goes back in time to stop Laura from ever being murdered. However, the second he alters the timeline, Judy is able to abduct Laura. Next, Cooper decides now is the time to try the ol' sex magic. This is because Cooper still has the memories of BadCoop and remembers that Judy is super into sex magic. So, needless to say, Cooper and Laura Dern go to pound town, and emerge into an alterate reality.

In this alternate reality, Cooper knows karate. So, he finds Laura, who goes by the name Carrie Page. He brings her back to Laura's house, as this will help them catch Judy somehow. They find the house owned by the Chalfont and Tremonds, who are people from another place, which is usually a sign of bad things. Electricity flickers, Dale asks, "What year is it?", and Carrie/Laura suddenly screams, you hear Laura's mother call her name, and the show just sort of ends. Forever.

Is It Future Or Is it Past?

At this point, I know what you're thinking: "Is it future, or is it past?"

Ever since the first episode, we have heard variations on, "Laura is the one." It's even one of the loglines of the Return:

Electricity is humming. You hear it in the mountains and rivers. You see it dance among the seas and stars and glowing around the moon, but in these days, the glow is dying. What will be in the darkness that remains? The Truman brothers are both true men. They are your brothers. And the others, the good ones who have been with you. Now the circle is almost complete. Watch and listen to the dream of time and space. It all comes out now, flowing like a river. That which is and is not. Hawk. Laura is the one.

This has led many to theorize that Twin Peaks may be a dream Laura Palmer is having, noting that, in David Lynch's work, dreams are as signficant as reality. This would mean that Laura has created Bob and Judy, the evil beings that inhabit their parents, as a way to process through her father's abuse and mother's enjoyment at watching the same. She dreams that she's dead, as that provides an escape. The Dale Cooper character is a personification of the dream, as he is the White Knight Archetype who prevents her death. Cooper also appears to know he lives inside a dream, as he says things ike, "We live inside a dream."

That explains why everyone keeps saying Laura has the power to defeat Bob and Judy, as she can do so by waking up.

The ending, then, is Cooper accessing Laura's next dream, with the goal of waking her up, because doing so defeats Judy. That's why, in the dream, everyone's name has changed, but only Cooper (now Richard) remembers everything that happened. This is why Cooper brings Laura back to Twin Peaks, to try and make her remember the previous dream, as realizing that will make her realize these are consecutive dreams, making her know neither is truly real, forcing her to wake up, thereby killing Judy.

That's why one of the last things we hear is Laura's mother calling out for her, because that's how a mother wakes up their teenage daughter. And that's why we see nothing afterwards: the dream is over.

But What if Laura Isn't The Dreamer?

The above rests on an assumption: that Laura is the dreamer. And that's because the Log Lady, among others, says she is the one.

But what if that's not what they're saying?

David Lynch is a known fan of homophones. In a 1969 interview, he was quoted as saying, "I, David Lynch, love homophones!"

So, naturally, what if Laura isn't the one? What if 'One', like so many other things in the David Lynch oevrue, is a homophone? It all goes back to that same 1969 interview where David Lynch said, and again, this is a direct quote, "I, David Lynch, love Juan Pablo Galavais, the 18th Bachelor."

And how many episodes are there of Twin Peaks: The Return are there? 18.

I'll pause for a moment here while you collect your jaw from the ground. Clearly, throughout, everyone was saying Laura is the Juan, in homage to Juan Pablo. They were just pronouncing 'one' like 'juan' because David Lynch loves homophones. This is now the definitive theory of Twin Peaks. If you interpret Twin Peaks otherwise, fuck you, you're wrong.

What Does it All Mean?

In many ways, scientists have disputed any theory of epistemological metaphysics that implies an ontological differentiation between Phoebe Bridgers and Juan Pablo Galavais. Those are words, fuck it. The evidence that smart people who fuck usually cite as evidence that these individuals are the same person is:

1. Juan Pablo works as a bridge in Chile.

2. When he works as the bridge, he is bridging.

3. Verbs are words that show an action. In France, which is in Europe, unlike England, where Juan Pablo doesn't live, meaning that French Language rules apply, many verbs have an "-er" conjugation. No shit, really.

4. Therefore, using the Scientific Method, I have proven that Juan Pablo is a Bridger.

Okay, But What Does that Mean? It's so fucking simple:

1. We are like the dreamer who dreams, and then lives inside the dream.

2. Causing Laura Palmer's FBI Agent's Boss to ask, "But who is the dreamer?"

3. The same FBI Agent who is told "Laura is the One".

4. Except we know using the Transivtive Method that due to the Science of Homphones that One = Juan.

5. And Juan is an obvious reference to Juan Pablo Galavais, due to the epistemological ramifications of the number 18.

6. And Juan Pablo works as a bridge, making him a Bridger.

7. Which is an obvious allegory for Between Two Firms: The Movie Star Phoebe Bridgers.

8. Meaning that Phoebe Bridgers is the dreamer.

Conclusion

There's a lot of ramifications of this. It does appear to mean that Phoebe Bridgers may have similar powers to Judy that she can manifest in our reality. This is mostly just the power to turn people's hair white..

She only appears to have used it on herself and Paramore. There are no other known victims. I checked with Conor Oberst, but he's doing fine, though he's still angry with no reason to be.

That said, in terms of reality, we all still exist in the imagination of Robin Pecknold. He is just imaging Phoebe Bridgers (that's kind of a fucked up power dynamic if you ask me), who is dreaming us, I guess, though the dream may be over, throwing our continued existence into question, hence the apocalypse we are currently experiencing.

But why male models?

Now I know what you're thinking. Of course Sufwaj Stanwich isn't a gamer. He just released a song about #NotWantingToPlayYourVideoGame. But any practiced GaMeR will be able to spot the dog whistles in his music. In this TedTalk I will outline the evidence CLEARLY demonstrating that Sbubby is IRREFUTABLY a G@M3R.

1. The most damning bit of evidence, as everyone has seen, is from a recent quote on Instacart where he says, quoth, "It’s unfortunate that we live in a society...". I mean, come on.
2. I know everybody says he's gay, and therefore he cannot be gamer. But he's NOT and those are SLANDEROUS LIES and FAKE NEWs. NOt that I think there's anything wrong with @theGays, but John is just his beloved friend from the bibble and he's NOT gay and therefore he MUST be a gamer #checkmateAtheists
3. I don't know if you saw, but he is a WHIT E MAL. Isn't it oblivious? He 's a gammer.
4. Skrevens is a Good Christian and I kniow this bcause he plays on my christian minecraft server and therefore is a undisputably a gamer (I can't show you guys evidence of this because my mom told me not to share personal details on the internet.)

As you can see, Baseball cap softboi is a gamer and NOTHING ELSE. CASE CLOSED. I WILL NOT RESPOND INQUIRIES GOOD DAY.

Bob Dylan clearly isn't indie. Unlike hip, authentic youth acts like the 1975, Lana Del Rey, or HAIM, Mr. Dylan has nothing in him that would make an A&R rep say, "children will buy this". He's not even hot and is a four, at best. At no point in his new album does he dance in a skintight skeleton costume, as is indie tradition.

Indie historians, such as myself, are shocked this has even been a debate. Traditionally, Mr. Dylan has been labelled alongside obvious non-indie acts such as Frank Ocean or The Fallout Boy. Had I listened to any of his music, which I have not out of principle, I would assume that it is your run of the mill guitar pop, heavily derivative of Pavement. He's not even a legacy indie artist, hasn't even successfully received the approval of teen indie tastemakers, such as we've seen with David Bowie's friendship with Lorde. That's right, y'all, Dylan, unlike Bowie, has shown no interest in teens. Shameful.

What's worse is that his lyrics consist of banal, nonsensical phrases delivered in rabid succession. "All Along the Watchtower", for instance, makes no goddamn sense, because a watch is something you wear on your wrist to seem more like an adult. It ain't no goddamn tower. His song "Hurricane" literally has the n-word in it, which means he should be sent to the same reprogramming camp we sent Wendy Mesley.

And I know what you're thinking: why are we even talking about this? Because, my friends, and Justin, yesterday something horrible happened. Someone posted Dylan to an indie forum.

Thankfully, the moderators, realizing that Dylan had never visited for an AMA and there was therefore no business relationship they could damage, snapped to action. They purged the threat facing our community, allowing us a safe space to discuss whether The Slow Rush was a 6.5 or a 6. The answer to my rhetorical question is clearly 'Bob Villain', in case you're not getting that.

They deleted the thread and decency was restored. The only remaining remnant was alt-right marxist agitators in the comment section, trying desperately trying to destroy the subreddit by distracting them with unsanctioned topics. Realizing this wasn't the toilet forum, where Dylan should be discussed, people quickly moved on to discussions of which people were politely ignoring them on Grindr.

But the question remains: what was he doing there in the first place? What monster unleashed this upon us? Was this real? How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real? These are questions.

And that's when I realized: they knew it would get deleted. That was the point. While Dylan may be the five best rappers of all time, he's clearly not Indie and verboten.

They knew it would get deleted. And that could only be one person. Now, anyone who's good at brain shit knows that Grimes posts on r/indieheads under the username deleted. Literally any post that says [deleted] is very clearly her. She has even been seeing trolling this very subreddit with unsubstantiated allegations of tomfoolery, though, in the interest of full disclosure, that post was from before she entirely abandoned the working class.

And what if she didn't want to be only [deleted] anymore? What better way to meld herself with Bob Dylan than to engineer the perfect situation? The one where he, too would become deleted?

What if she tried something crazy? What if she tried to say that Bob Dylan was indie? I'm just asking questions.

Now, I don't got the answers, sway. But I know someone posted Bob Dylan. And it got deleted. And now he is one with Grimes. What that means for metaphysics I do not know.

But I know one thing: Bob Dylan isn't indie.

In 1986 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy but there was a big paperwork mixup and when I left the hospital, all I was legally allowed to take were 2 cough drops and a handful of lidocaine. my husband left me (i think because of the lidocaine, he called it "a choice") and I fell into a 12 year depression in which i might have birthed others, might have just had my eyes closed too long. in 1998 I discovered that I could open my eyes, actually really easy to do in retrospect, and began sorting through the years of baggage and shame I'd accumulated in my anguish

Anyway, I have no idea what happened to my son and figured i should try the "guess & check" method in recovering his identity. if anyone can help cross Robin Pecknold off the list you would have my deepest gratitude. For reference, here is a picture of Robin and here is a picture of me. we have a lot in common

I hope he is my son because he's got a lovely voice and he's honestly so hot. It would be nice to have a really attractive son, but this also makes me hope he is not my son because i kinda wanna bang him

I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the television show St. Elsewhere.

This was a hospital drama from the early-to-mid eighties. The show followed the [arc] of [character] as they navigated the stress of [job] in [city]. It ran for about six seasons, and I think Denzel Washington is in it. For those unfamiliar with Mr. Washington, he is most famous for being the favored candidate for the position of 'Hostage Negotiator' amongst Colombian Rebels.

Now, on to spoilers for something you'll never watch. In the series finale, it was revealed that all of the show takes place in the imagination of an autistic child while they look into a snowglobe. Seriously, that happened.

However, that isn't the end of this story. St. Elsewhere wasn't built in isolation. Quite to the contrary: it had crossovers with shows like Homicide: Life on the Street, Cheers, and Scrubs. And, as it is canon that St. Elsewhere takes place in the boy's imagination, those shows do too.

That means there's only one question left: how far does this go? Is it just Cheers? What else takes place in the Boy's Imagination? Or, more to the point: Is Indieheads all this boy's dream?

I recognize that's a crazy idea. Lots of you must be saying, "Indieheads can't be taking place in the imagination of a child while they look into a Snowglobe!" Unfortunately, lots of you are fucking wrong.

This sort of thing isn't unprecedented. Famed existentialist Philosopher Albert Camus explicitly endorsed this theory by saying that:

Aujourd'hui, maman est morte. Ou peut-être hier, je ne sais pas. J'ai reçu un télégramme de l'asile : « Mère décédée. Enterrement de-main. Sentiments distingués. » Cela ne veut rien dire. C'était peut-être hier

Unfortunately, I don't speak French, so I have no idea what that says. But I assume he agrees with me, and this is reliable corroborative evidence that r/indieheads is but a dream. But that doesn't prove why it was this child's dream.

But this does:

1. Everything canon in the St. Elsewhere universe takes place in the imagination of the child.

2. Cheers takes place in the St. Elsewhere universe.

3. Cheers had a character named Alex Trebek

4. Alex Trebek is a song on r/indieheads

5. Therefore, like everything else in the St. Elsewhere Universe, /r/indieheads only exists within the imagination of a child while they look into a snowglobe.

Wow! There's so much corroborative evidence here that even Joe Biden can't ignore it.

Still not convinced? Then you're dumb, because I've clearly proven that r/indieheads is a dream. The Wind Fish might be involved. The entire forum does not exist and is only the fantasy of one boy.

And that boy's name?

Robin Pecknold.

As many of you know, I am the Chief Technological Officer of reddit.com. My position allows me to see advanced data and psychometrics that regular users cannot. That's how I know that when this subreddit was founded in 2009 it averaged millions of distinct viewers per hour. It was projected to grow into the world's most popular subreddit, even eclipsing /r/SamePicOfSteveHarvey.

Don't believe me? Here is a chart. Look at that growth!

Now, everyone should be asking the same question: what the fuck happened? This subreddit hasn't grown as expected. Quite to the contrary, in fact, it has been declining as evidenced by this chart.

Since we discovered this alarming news, all of us here in the tech department of the Communist Party of China operating as Reddit has been trying to figure out exactly what happened. And we're proud to say that we've finally found the reason.

It all goes back to these classic moments in /r/indieheadsconspiracy history:

1. Robin Pecknold: enemy of Nintendo or Secret Ally?; and

2. Robin Pecknold: addicted to crack?.

That's right, ever since the dutiful journalists employed by r/indieheadsconspiracy discovered their theories about Mr. Pecknold, readership has plummetted. This is obviously not due to the theories themselves or a lack of readership - it must be some sort of plot to suppress our readers from learning what our speculations regarding the truth may be.

My mind immediately went to Soros, but as that's me and I didn't do it, he appears to be innocent at this time. That means, by a scientific process of exclusion and peer review, there's only one potential culprit left: Robin Pecknold himself.

He clearly feels that we are getting too close to the truth, as evidenced by the fact he refused to answer the most pressing question when he did an AMA three years ago.

How's he doing it? Magnets.

In conclusion, this is all really distressing stuff and I think I speak for literally every person when I say that the public deserves answers. Bernie would have told us. We must unite as one to take a stand against this attack on our subreddit. To do that, make sure to donate to my GoFundMe.

If I made a post on reddit and no one saw it.... Did I even make a post?

coincidence!?

Feel free to engage in colorful conversation re: this deeply unsettling topic in the comments below

Think about it: you open up the spotify app, click on that really catchy belle & sebastian song, put a headphone into your ear, then WHAT HAPPENS ? yeah you can hear maybe a snare drum start up, but when you pull the headphone OUT of your ear.... there is nothing there!? Shouldn't there be "MUSIC" coming out of the headphone?!! where is this "music" ??

Conclusion: it is made up by fatcat capitalists sipping their dry martinis Peeling the skins from their grapes & shilling web apps. Victims aren't we all. I suspect TICKETMASTER

This low quality post brought to you by The Effort To Revitalize r/IndieheadsConspiracy .com

I've been your host, nicework sara

Don't forget to like comment & subscribe

5 + 2 + 0= 7

S + e + v +e + n = 5 letters

7 + 5 = 12

12- 1 = 11 + s + a + r +a

Novemebr (9th month)

Sara (jewish princess)

11 Apostles

2 towers

The answer is Yes

Post locked

(post is not locked )

check this out:

niceworksara
Sara520

notice anything? I dont think this is a coincidence. please keep this quiet while I investigate.

I've been listening to Fleet Foxes' Sun Giant EP quite a bit recently and found myself overcome by a "what the heck is that reminding me of" feel every time I reached the end of track 1, "Sun Giant". Check out the little interlude - a simple plucked riff, linked here. After approximately 4 listens, I realized that Robin had BLATANTLY plagiarized this bit of song from Nintendo's classic N64 hit game Paper Mario, from the popular track "March Ahead (Goomba Road/Pleasant Path)". Coincidence?

It is a well known fact that Robin Percknold is "cool," "hip," and "with the young crowd," but has he gone too far this time? I can't be the only one who immediately after 4 listens recognized the cult classic Paper Mario background track. Nor could I have been the only one to explore the thin distinction between "inspiration" and "blatant theft." Maybe our dear songbird Robin is not as original as we all assume him to be.

OR is Robin, in fact, a Nintendo plant? Was the inclusion of this riff purposefully pulled from "March Ahead" in a very targeted attempt to get FF fans to buy buy buy an increasingly overlooked franchise? Paper Mario 64 was released late 2000, while Sun Giant EP came out 8 years later - a perfect length of time for nostalgic youths to be picking up their old faves.

Am I a Fleet Foxes fan? Yes. Have I projected Mr. Pecknold's face on a wall in my apartment and sent snapchats of me stealin a quick kiss? Sure. But do I assume my idols to be endlessly infallible? Absolutely not.

Topics for discussion:

1. Could Robin be working for Nintendo? (explains why he wasn't sued? is Conker really a squirrel, or a fleet fox?)

2. Are other FF songs ripoffs of N64 background tracks? ("sim sala bim" was originally Tingle's catchphrase, I've heard)

3. Who is the Sun Giant and is he related to this old friend?

drake is the 6 god

bon iver's new album has a song called 33 "god"

3+3=6

"god" is in quotes because drake isn't really a god

At approximately 3:31pm PST on December 1st 2015 I made this comment and was met with a seemingly friendly response form /u/Bert306 - as evidenced by the use of a smiley emoticon, seen here:

:)

At approximately 3:41pm PST also still on December 1st 2015 I received this message from previously referenced /r/indieheads moderator, /u/Segal-Train. Note this line. And this. and mainly this.

This exchange, occurring at approximately 3:45pm PST on December 1st 2015, confirmed my suspicions - had they not already been confidently proven true.

Ask yourself this: How did Bert get that flair? Was it purely jealousy and boredom that prompted me to write up an accusatory conspiracy theory post? Or maybe I was procrastinating on the work I had open in another tab? Maybe all of my current tabs are wiki pages of different Nicolas Cage films, who can say, but have I not asked an essential and unanswerable question?

The /r/indieheads moderation team has been adamantly opposed to my acquisition of personalized flair for months now, and the events that took place between 3:31pm - 3:45pm PST on December 1st 2015 opened my eyes to the true nature of /u/Bert306: he is the alt account of one (or perhaps all) of the /r/indieheads mods. He is their fabricated narc. I suspect /u/automoderator is behind this. The very /u/automoderator who denied my flirtatious advances and never responded to my pm asking if he wanted to hang out.

Also his name's not even bert but that evidence is on another computer

Open your eyes sheeple. hashtag downwithbert and join the revolution

The truth is out there fam

i have proof tht this is true