Hey guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Today’s my birthday but I will in fact be spending it alone, screaming and bawling in my garden due to the election of this racist, homophobic, antisemitic, myalgianistic fascist. I can’t bring myself to celebrate, knowing that I will soon cease to exist, alongside the many other two-spirit black-Latino-identifying xemales. Add on to the fact that I don’t even have anyone to celebrate with since I cut them off for obvious reasons. (Those filthy hillbilly maga election denying fascists). Do better America. Do better.

Have a newborn you dont love? Here is a tip: dont go to the fire station. Drop said newborn right in front of Ted Cruz's house in River Oaks. The state forces you to carry thru the pregnancy so may as well force them to take care of it.

Bonus points if you stop at Torchys after.

Please help I live in Katy and I work in the tunnels downtown pleasuring VonSausage on his work breaks. I need to find things to do!

I spend all my free time in traffic dreaming of CrazyLegsRyan and his meaty lycra-hewn quads.

I have no interests but I love to try new things, I'm sure you kind redditors can help!

Seriously though I’ve been to Houston for like 10%-15% of my life. How come I’ve never heard of it.

As the title says, avoid this location at all costs. I’ve been trying different torchys in the area to see which has the best gloryhole and I can say with full confidence this is the worst! They keep peeing on me through the gloryhole, even when I request them to stop. I reported to the manager and he just kept calling me a toilet and a “piss baby”. If I hadn’t had excellent experiences at other torchys, I’d request Abbot to shut down that location immediately.

So my friend from Austin is in town this weekend for idk what they’re going to do here. On their last visit, he brought his wife and her boyfriend to torchy’s at rice village. They had a good time there at the gh. We also had a romantic date swimming at buffalo bayou at night, until his wife’s boyfriend got jealous. He proposed me to be his gf outside of torchy’s btw. I think he’s staying at midtown again, since he goes crazy for that area. Any more ideas for our weekend date? I’m just trying to cheer him up after the election day, since he didn’t get erected by the result. Thanks in advance.

Hello, I recently became homeless in Michigan and moved to Houston because I was told there’s lots of caring people here who would help me. My wife and kids moved in with her mom but there was no room for me. I’m 5’1”, 527lbs so I take up quite a bit of space. I honestly think it’s because I used to flick her mom’s bean back in high school and my wife is just jealous. Anyway, I’d like to be someone’s pool boy or landscaper. I will sign an NDA if you’re rich and want a live-in cuck situation. I used to masturbate to my parents wedding album and I can perform in any situation.

Also, I’m depressed. Thank you

I need JOB. Pay $15+/hr or I live in Torchy’s parking lot. I’m good worker. I can click, type, look busy. I very skilled at Googling stuff I don’t know and pretending to understand Excel.

I need benefits. Health insurance for when I eat too many tacos and my stomach does the cha-cha. Dental for my questionable teeth (thanks, queso). I also need AC. Houston hot like the salsa at Torchy’s, I’m sweating just thinking about it.

Hire me and I will work hard… or at least show up on time unless Torchy’s has a special. Then, I’m late.

Pay me in tacos, I’ll take it.

#HoustonJobs #TorchysIsLife #DesperateButNotForLessThan15 #WillWorkForTacos #SendHelp

Is it true Ted Cruz is banning crocs at glory hole locations?

I just realized, I never mailed my ballot… should I pay the extra fees, to get it expedited?

Hey y’all, long-time lurker, first-time poster here 👋 So, me and my girl were planning a bonfire night down in Galveston, and we wanted to know if there are any laws about starting fires on the sand? We happened to drive past some old Styrofoam coolers and a few plastic lawn chairs that were beyond saving, so we wanted to do our part in cleaning the city. Also!! in case anyone needs some trash burned we're willing to take some. must be inner loop.

I wanted to wait until the long lines were down some.

I’m search for a mariachi band to play tonight in River Oaks in case a Canadian loses an election. Anyone got leads?

I know about the pizza and cookies but a man needs stress relief.

https://preview.redd.it/bxko7u47jtyd1.png?width=980&format=png&auto=webp&s=c1fbe9af23bbeb3236fb580db0ba1748f43554e5

Golly!! And only 2000$/month? So amazing!!!! Sam Houston would be proud

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