My boyfriend’s mom passed away last month. I’ve known her for over 20 years. She had systemic lupus. She couldn’t take her medicine because she couldn’t go to the doctor. She couldn’t go to the doctor because she couldn’t afford it. She couldn’t afford it because she was denied full coverage insurance because of her history with lupus. She couldn’t get long-term disability because her job laid her off. She was a veteran, a nurse of over 30 years, she was a mother, a friend, a sister, a wife, an aunt, a grandmother. I love my country, I really do, but so many people have been fucked by its systems. I hate this for her, my boyfriend, their family and everyone that knew her precious soul.

My Mama has been been gone 2 years today and she died 6 weeks after my Daddy. Gonna be a mess all day and then try to be okay for everyone. My oldest was really close to her and will also be inconsolable. I miss you so much ,Mama. Hope you know how much I love you, but never know how much I suffered for losing you.

So my senior quote is due on December 12th and I have an idea of what I want but I’m not really sure how to word it so I need help

A little background my 9 month old cousin passed away less than a year ago and since he won’t be able to graduate I want my quote to commemorate him I was thinking like “we made it Carlos” or just something that brings his name to life again Please help

Just seeing if this is normal, i dont know anymore. My boyfriend of over 5 years died 2.5 years ago. It was sudden, unexpected, tragic, and so many other things. He was my hs sweetheart and we grew up together and i knew he would be the one i was gonna marry. I know what i really need is formal therapy, ive been doing okay, but just want some feedback or maybe even just reassurance on whether the way im feeling is okay. I started dating my new boyfriend 6 months ago, we talked for a long while before then because i wanted to take my time before getting into a relationship again. I do love him, and im happy with him. But here and there i find myself wishing my late boyfriend was still here. It makes me feel guilty in different ways and i know ive come to terms with his death, but why do i still feel this way? Ugh sorry guys i said i do need formal therapy, but any thoughts on these emotions? For now i think i just need some reassurance or feedback. Thanks guys first time posting anywhere about this.

So my best friend died during Thanksgiving break and I found out through his family today. He usually goes MIA if he’s having a lot of shit going on so I thought this was one of those instances. I feel like I failed him as a friend by just assuming that he was okay. This is my first time losing a loved one so I don’t know how to cope. One minute I’m fine but as soon as something reminds me of him, I break down.

My dad and I were very close and put up with a lot of shit from my mom, who is an alcoholic. They were mostly in a good place when he died almost a year ago. The last 6 years I’ve had to live with them in Vermont because of cystic fibrosis. I’m turning 40 next week. My mom is a physician assistant so she is my main caretaker and has been since I was diagnosed as a very young child. We have been through a lot together. My dad was also my caretaker but in a less medical degree. He died in an accident in February. It was a shock as he was only 64. My mom and I have fought a lot since he died, because she no longer has my dad to absorb the brunt of her drunken anger. Now it’s all laid on me. I have 2 younger sisters and 1 younger brother and they don’t live with us so they don’t get it like I do. They have no sympathy for me.

What really bothers me is that I have lost so much, my independence, my youth, my ability to have children and now my dad, who was my protector and best friend. And my mom is constantly insinuating that her loss is worse and she knows because losing her husband of 40 years is so much worse than losing her abusive dad. It’s a completely different loss for me in my opinion. Do other people’s parents do this? Make it seem like their loss is greater than yours, even if you were very close? I don’t know what to do but it’s getting impossible to live with her, but I’m not well enough to live alone. Help is appreciated!

I had a friend die over 7 years ago from a drug overdose - he was a friend of almost a decade, we used to date when we first met for about 2 years but then we became good friends and promised to keep tabs on each other as we went about our lives. We did. But one thing he never told me was about how deep down the rabbit hole of addiction he had got. I found out from him about 2 months before he died, when he was doing a stint in rehab.

Present day; I suddenly had an urge to write about it. My perspective, my take on what happened… it’s sort of turned into a mostly fictitious narrative with some true events sprinkled in here & there. I’m still not entirely sure what the purpose is of writing this - but all I know is that it is pouring out of me like it’s been living dormant inside of me all this time. Through reading back on old emails between us, photos, reliving the memories through writing… I genuinely feel like my grief has resurfaced. It’s like he has died all over again. I barely remember even grieving when I first found out - I went to his funeral and then kinda closed the chapter. Maybe I never fully grieved this? I am now thinking about it constantly, and I have a semi-permanent ache/anxiety feeling in my chest that only goes away when I’m super distracted by something else.

Anyway. I’m just saying. Grief is a bitch. I’ve come this far, I can’t stop writing now. I think… I mean, at least I hope… it’ll help me process his death. The fact that the grief has come back so strongly makes me think perhaps it was never processed in the first place.

How do you deal with grief? I am cycling between the stages and it’s so overwhelming

The day my husband died. When the hospital called at 7:30, they said he was stable but in pain. I said give him painkillers. They called again at 9:20 telling me to come over, and "bring your children". I knew what that meant. Long story short, the last two hours of my husband's life was him trying to comfort me. I remember he told me "You're allowed to remarry." To which I said "Never." I asked if he was scared and he said he was terrified about what I would do. He promised to watch over us and I said that wasn't enough. We kissed and hugged and he did skin-to-skin with our youngest baby. I curled up next to him and didn't let go even after he wrnt at 11:57. I stayed there, clutching my husband's dead body, praying that I had an aneurysm or a stroke or seizure or something. Eventually, they had to come take him away, but I refused. This is when the distress settled in. Once I realized I was still alive, and my husband was dead my mind made its decision. I noticed a scalpal that was lying on a table nearby (irresponsibilty), grabbed it and booked it with two nurses chasing me. I hid in the bathroom and started to cut with the intention to die. I guess they lost me in the run because no one came in. I don't know why I stopped. I guess I started thinking about how traumatizing this experience would be for my children. Especially my eldest, who at this point was 5. I wrapped up my wounds with toilet paper and my hair tye and left. I was careful to not bump into any medical personnel (impossible in a hospital, ha) and just grabbed ny kids and booked it. I knew if they found me, I would be sectioned and matters would be made worse. I dropped off the kids at a friend's (looking back I should've been there with them, but I was afraid of myself honestly) went home, and got drunk enough to pass out.

I never met my bio father but i recently just got news that he was murdered earlier last week. And i don't know if i should be able to feel sad about it. He was never a deadbeat but my mom just kept him away because he wasn't a good role model and i understand that. But i just wish i could've met him once. Now i really can never meet him or hear his voice or be able to create a bond with him. A while back my mom had a talk with me and told me that if i ever wanted to talk with him she could arrange something but i just told her that i would after high school. But now i don't have a chance and i never will. And it makes me feel like i was a horrible daughter for not trying to reach out and now hes gone. I feel like i shouldn't be able to cry over this because i never met him but it still really hurts for some reason. I have a step dad whose raised me since i was 2 but i've always still wanted the love of my real father. It hurts me to know that he died without ever meeting me.

thank you to anyone who reads all of this

I don’t really know where else to go for this so here we go.

My paternal grandparents raised me (and I think they did an awesome job). I lost my grandmother unexpectedly about two years ago. I lost my dog to cancer. Then I lost my brother unexpectedly in July. I received a call yesterday that my grandfather has passed. Due to my grandpas dementia (he really went down hill after my grandma passed), he hated me and I haven’t really seen or talked to him in a year. My biological dad didn’t even tell me he passed, I had to find out from someone else. I didn’t even know he was in a senior care living situation. I would have went and saw him again despite him not wanting to see me if I would’ve known. I’m a single 30 year old girl just trying to get through life but it feels like it just keeps hitting me.

I don’t have much family so I feel extremely alone and I’m overwhelmed with grief and guilt.

I lost my bestfriend to suicide 💔 she's been gone for 10 yrs but I find myself still crying all time. Am I okay? I feel like a huge chunk of myself is always missing. I just miss her so much. When we originally stopped being friends I told her I couldn't speak to her again because of how bad it hurts when she leaves. ( we tried 3 times to be friends) she left everytime. I knew she was going thru alot so I never blamed her. I just couldn't take it. Everytime she left I felt like this and now without her completely. Idk how to cope 😕 I see her in my dreams , in my head and I hear her like it was yesterday when I replay memories. It's like every fiber in my body knows her and misses her. It's screaming

Three years ago today my boyfriend passed away. We were both 16 when it happened. I have been so busy with college and helping a friend through a tough time that it took me until 10am to realize what today was. I feel so guilty. Ive been seeing a guy for a few months and I was even texting and flirting with him this morning before I remembered. He kind of knows the general story but I don't know how to tell him what today is without seeming like im trauma dumping or looking for sympathy. Im just ignoring his texts right now. I also got breakfast with my roommates before I remembered so I was fine, but I don't know how to tell them now without seeming like an insincere asshole for forgetting. But I also don't wanna go through today alone. I don't, just a lot of emotions on top of the grief of today. Any advice?

If someone has requested assisted suicide,but a loved one tells the facilitators that they themselves will commit suicide if the PAS occurs, what would they do? Nothing, right, cause it's hypocritical?

Context: An old friend of mine up in Ontario just called me telling me her husvand of 15 YEARS is considering this due to him having gastric cancer (same thing my husband died from, although he died naturally). She was angry, distraught and knowing what I've been going through via social media, she contacted me.

Before losing my parents and sister back in 2010, I was pretty mwh about the idea of PAS. After, and espcially after losing my husband eight months ago, I am strongly against it. My husband died a peaceful, dignified death (which is what a hospice is for) and even then, my grief is still traumatic, to the pount where I suffered alcoholism, and am now dealing with self harm and depression. In my POV, it really doesn't change anything for those who will actually bear the brunt of that decision: those left behind. Also in my experience, people who support it are rude and don't understand/trivialize just grief.

Anyway, any answers to the previously mentuoned question? What could be done?

Note: Please let's not have an arguement or discussion about PAS. If you support it, I don't agree, but that's fine. I find the topic triggering and am very worried about the reception this post might recieve. If I offend anyone or if this breaks the rules, I'll gladly chuck it out the window. Thanks.

Edit: Sorry for typos. It's 1 am and I'm typing this on my phone

Yep, as the title says! Before this, I think the last funeral I went to was back in 2008! (I’m base in Australia for those reading)

•June 2024, my Uncle passed from years of drug and alcohol addiction, age 52. •August 2024, my Grandma (Uncles mother) passed from natural causes, age 91. •November 2024, my husband’s Grandfather passed from a heart attack, age 90. •December, 2024 (two days ago) my Grandpa passed from Lung cancer (my uncles father, Grandma’s Husband) age 92 and 51 weeks! One week away from being 93.

Acceptance of passing has become sadly, an easier process. Waves of grief come and go like the tide. Sometimes it’s the deep sea with giant waves, sometimes it’s a lake, calm but with little ripples of waves. There will always be waves, but on the day it’s now I choose to ride the wave 🕊️

My dad was the family lynchpin, it seems, and we lost him in September. Everything felt so much more uncomfortable - like I have to walk on eggshells or conversely, super distanced - when the family got together for thanksgiving. Is this just how my siblings grieve or something more permanent?

Will holidays ever be okay again? Part of me just wants to take distance because one siblings has been pretty awful to me intermittently throughout dads illness and loss but that would have devastated my dad so I just don’t know what to do. Do things settle or do I get used to this, either one?

Hi everyone! I am currently doing some research into the impacts of grief in terms of pain. If you feel able to, please can you complete my survey: https://livpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4OQus7JDn6NSdP8?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR1p9bQq-Y7ILdwW3mtCIm3b96D1Uyd5FsezRxpm6wJ71OpEL2p64FhK43g_aem_ERB1zNQ3I1eb-kz-b0eBCA please only complete this if your loss was over 6 months ago!

People say time heals, and it will get easier.....

But does it? Ever?

When?

I feel like if anything, the older I get, the more I wish these people I've lost were still around. The more I wish they were here to see me, grow up to actually not suck and not be awful but being a super decent human being and a fucking awesome mom.

I want him here. I want my best friend back. I want to talk to him and tell him about my life and have him just be able to understand me and keep it real as fuck with me.

I miss everything about him. All the time. He died in 2017 and I still cry all the time for him.

He was my best friend. He was my oldest son's Godfather. I would've trusted this man to raise my child if I wasn't around.

It wasn't supposed to be like this and I carry so much guilt that I couldn't be there for him.

Time doesn't heal, it makes it harder, the longing to be in his presence just gets stronger. I need his pep talks on my weak days. I need him to remind me how far I've come. He had known me since I was 15. I'm 38 now. Older than him. I remember the day I turned 36. " I am officially older than Joey Frisco." I told myself and I cried.

So many memories, so many great times, so many boundaries we crossed and laws we broke. 😂

I will never forget him and I will never stop missing him.

I just want it to hurt less. Not have my grief and depression take me out for a whole day because I am just longing for him to call me a "big dummy " 😔

When does the "it gets easier" part happen? Because I'm ready for it.

I met this guy in college, a friend of a friend. And we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. It’s strange, when I think back it feels like we only hung out a handful of times, but in reality I spent a significant amount of time with him. For that entire year; I worked for his dad, got to know his family, spent Thanksgiving with him, he was over a lot, etc.

I lost touch with him about a year before his death. We never would have crossed paths again, naturally. So I am so confused about my reaction to the news that he had passed.

At first I assumed it was a lie for attention. And never thought about it until 2 months later, I said outloud that he had passed and I guess the reality hit me, hearing myself say it out loud that he was really dead.

And I thought “no, I don’t actually care, he was just an aquaintance”, but no, he was actually my friend. I would consider him a friend, and he would consider me a friend. We went through a lot together.

And so the way I feel, is even though we would not cross paths again, it makes me very sad that he is dead. Every time I think about him and remember he is dead I start sobbing uncontrollably.

And my brain keeps trying to convince me that the news of his death is a lie? Thats what prompted this post, I somehow convinced myself that the person who told me the news is a pathological liar and she must have been lying. I felt like, relieved and pissed off at her for lying about such a thing, but still happy to know he was alive and well. And then I google his name and found his obituary and go-fund-me for the funeral.

So he’s really dead, it wasn’t a lie. I’m crying again and I don’t understand why it is impacting me so much. Of course, his passing is a tragedy for his family and friends, but I guess I feel I wasn’t close enough of a “friend” to feel the way I do. But I am so sad that he’s dead. I really, really wish that he wasn’t. And I wish it was a lie someone made up. That’s all. Does anyone know what this is that is happening? Why do I care so so much, if I was never going to see the guy again anyways? His death has zero impact on me, It’s just he was a great guy and he didn’t deserve or need to die so young.

Hey everyone. I feel like I need some support. I feel like im failing and I keep trying but I just end up feeling so alone.

My best friend committed suicide and around the same time I found that out my bf found out his family dog has terminal cancer and is dying. I am trying so hard to support him in his own grief while trying to deal with my own. I love their dog as well but I’m putting that aside right now.

Today is December 1st and I just … I wanted to do something enjoyable to kind of connect us and take our mind off things. I decided to put up the Christmas tree and maybe we could just focus on something nice for a bit. I was clearly wrong he didn’t help get anything watched me put up the tree on my own while on his phone and just laying on the couch watching videos. Idk if it’s just the grief or other things going on but I felt even more sad and alone than before.

I went to just shower and shake it off. When I got out I decided maybe he was so cold because he doesn’t want to celebrate anything while he’s upset about his dog so I went and got the tree and moved it to the guest room where my office is. I figured this way I could look at it and maybe have a small amount of Christmas joy from time to time without disturbing him. I was still feeling pretty down so I decided instead of going back down I would just organize my space a bit better.

He came up to ask if I was okay and I said I was okay. He asked why I moved the tree and I said it didn’t seem like he was happy about it and didn’t seem to want it in the space so I moved it up here to mine. He was silent for a while then he asked if I wanted him to leave me alone and I said up to you I am just organizing. He went to the bedroom for a bit and now has left the house completely.

This kind of just compounded my feelings of being alone. I know he’s also got his own grief I’m trying not to hold anything against him but now I feel more alone than ever. I’m trying to figure out if I have done something wrong here. I’m trying to be there for him and his family as much as I can and I just feel like the more I put myself on the line for them the less energy I have for myself and what I am going through.

How do you juggle your own emotions while trying to be supportive? I just feel like I’m doing everything wrong.

I’m 28 and my best friend of over 15 years died 2 weeks ago. we lived together and were incredibly close and have been through so much together. it was sudden but not really unexpected as she had a rare blood condition. these last 2 weeks have been a blur, the worst 14 days of my life, ranging from complete numbness, heartbroken, shock. I’m sure you all can understand. This is my first loss in my life and I know that I’m only 2 weeks so it’s just the beginning but I can’t stop thinking about her constantly 24/7 my whole day she consumes my thoughts. Even if I try to distract myself or if I have to focus my mind or something she’s still always there. When will that lessen? I’m not even sure if I want it to. I’ve been journalling, crying when I need to, trying to get through each day. I know everyone’s different but for you when did the constant thinking about your person who has died begin to lessen?

My mom died of a fentanyl overdose in march. There was no fentanyl in her preliminary tox screen with her urine but it ended up being her cause of death with the blood draw. She was a known meth user, she did not use fentanyl to my knowledge. Her boyfriend and her were both homeless he would show obvious signs of being under the influence of an opiate while I never observed her in that way. They would fight often where I would hear him say borderline threatening/homacidial . They would argue often enough to the point of my mom telling me “if I die look at the people around me.” I was able to successfully get her into rehab in December of last year after she arrived at my house saying that he had been physical to her. She went successfully for 30 days, came back to where she was using, didn’t contact me and 3 months later she was found face down in someone’s yard dead. Her and her boyfriend conveniently got into an argument that day sometime and walked across town away from her (I’m not sure how true any of this is) but he was interrogated the next morning. He reached out to me ONE TIME after my mom passed and just asked questions about what I’ve heard. Not once did he show any sadness about the loss, he acted strange. She had a mark on her face but they deemed that as a mark from laying on the ground. What’s not sitting right with me is that I have tried reaching out to this guy several times even hanging up posters of him (he lives in the woods) and not only is he aware I’m trying to talk to him but he is actively avoiding me. My mind has so many questions and it longs to fill what doesn’t make sense, I AM ANGRY I feel intense anger thinking about my mom being dead and what makes me more upset is this piece of shit scum that won’t contact me back. Why isn’t anyone else ODing?? Why was it my mom. My mom was known to speak her mind loudly and was pretty confrontational and generally angry a lot, did she make him mad and he laced her?? Did someone intentionally kill my mom because they didn’t like her??? What did her day look like that day??? Did she actually start using fentanyl??? Who gave her the drugs that killed her?? What’s also funny is that the guys last girlfriend also died and he “didn’t want to talk about it.” I just want answers and my soul is reaching. Can someone please talk to me to help me make some sense on what I should do? Is this just the grief making me feel this way? Is this a lost cause? Should I just leave it alone for the sake of myself? I’m so conflicted.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer two years ago. She had been tired and needing naps but still pretty active. Heck, I went to lunch with her on Nov 18th.

She went to the hospital on the 20th, hospice set her up at home on the 23rd. She stopped responding by the 27th and passed last night at midnight last night

11 days. I feel raw and open. Not sure if faster is better or worse. Just needed to vent.

People always say this. Always. But the happy times aren't happy anymore. They're just reminders that there will never be any more happy times (good) that the person who made them happy is now gone. I can't explain it, but it really pisses me off when people say this.

This morning I burst into tears, for literally no reason, I just thought about her and it happened, it’s not even near the anniversary of her passing or anything. Her being my kind, loving, amazing Grandma.

So here it is, picture 14 year old me, showing off in front of my own sister, thinking I was the big I-am.

My mum was unwell, we usually go to my grandparents house every Saturday but this time mum was so poorly they came to us, my grandma looked after mum even though she had a bad shoulder and everything was .. fine.

When it was time for them to go my older sister asked if I was going to wave them off like usual (our little tradition was to wave at the door until the car was out of sight) the only issue is the tone she said it in implied that I was a baby for still doing so.

“Nah” I scoffed “I’ll see them next week”

I didn’t see my Grandma again. Ever.

The following Monday she had a huge heart attack, turns out the shoulder pain she had on the weekend was a warning. She brushed it off and just got on with life as always. Life support came and went and by Friday she had passed.

I can’t forgive that stupid little 14 year old me for not seeing her off. I can’t let it go. It still eats me up inside and I just want her to know how sorry I am and how I long to feel her crushing my bones with the tightest hug.

To make matters worse I knew something bad was coming and I didn’t warn anyone. A couple weeks before she passed, I had a dream where I had to go and care for my grandad, in the dream he was 70 and my Grandma was gone.

She passed away 1 month before his 70th birthday.

Not sure how writing this here will help but I’ve lever fully told anyone how much it hurts me and how much shame I carry for not properly saying goodbye.

I am not sure how to feel. A close friend tried to take her life with an overdose of preposition drugs. The first day they said no response, too much damage, she's mostly likely not going to come out of it. Then today, showing some signs of responding to verbal commands. I want to be happy, but doctors say she probably has a lot of other brain damage from lack of oxygen. Before I met her, she apparently attempted suicide before but never got this far. She's had all the psychiatrists, counseling, meds you can think of. She's good for months, happy, fun, motivated, takes good care of herself, but when she goes into depression, it's off the cliff. I know if she comes out of this, she will most likely be even more depressed and probably try it again.

So I don't even know how to feel. We are very close. I have known her for 10 years. She's estranged from family, has just a small group of friends. Should I hope for the best, or emotionally let her go hope she finally have some peace. I love her as a friend very much, my heart is breaking. I don't know how to feel, her out come is out of my control. How would you feel or deal with this?

My tia's health took a turn for the worse this week and she was gone by this morning. I've been crying nonstop since they broke the news, but I felt like I was drained/all out of tears today. Of course, the second I heard she had passed I broke down for a few minutes, but I've managed to remain tearless for most of the day (surprisingly). A part of me thought maybe I'm just the type to grieve quickly. I even felt bad because I didn't cry as much as I did when I first found out. I took a nap a few hours ago and when I woke up, I couldn't remember that anything was wrong. I felt at peace for a minute or two, which was a great relief from the constant heavy feeling in my chest.

Then everything came rushing back and I was back to square one. Grief is a funny thing

oh boy it's coming

they gon put him in a home

first time i read this i felt it

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2     a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

i guess we all go through it. and i notice people arekinder cause they know what it feelslike. i picture him watching me after passing

and because of that it makes me wanna be a better person. or not do self destructing things like drinking or smoking too much getting high sex anger greed.

i got mad a couple of times too. i'm sorry.

My dad passed away at 6am this morning, California time. 95 years old. I'm sorry I can't type anymore yet