/r/gonewanton

Photograph via snooOG

Ladies of the past cavorting themselves in a most dubious manner

Be on thy guard of any unusual private communiques enclosing a desire to share "private" photos with you from unknown or new suitors. It could be a virus or the syphilis!

For courting, strumpetry, cavorting, Greco-Roman wrestling bouts, and sexual brannigans please go to Oxfordshire Park.

0) Report any comments or threads you find unsavory. Constables will check the reported queue as often as humanly possible. Should you come across voyeurs being mean spirited (routinely), comments, or people shouting thy personal info at the public square (names, address of post, etc.) report it immediately and do your God-given duty!

1) Be respectful. Don't insult the ones brave enough to proffer lithographs / videograms. If you don't want to see the male tallywhacker then don't open the ones with the [gentleman] tag... it'll likely be tallywhackers.

2) Don't make blatantly 'creepy' or 'Jack the Ripper' comments. Don't be a common harlot / strumpet. No one likes it and it's just not as enjoyable as being part of the GW box social.

3) The man who delivers these engravings by horseback sometimes mistakenly nabs perfectly genuine non-counterfeit works. If you think a submission of yours or someone else has been "banished" then please contact the Lord of your township.

4) Please add a [gentleman] or [lady] tag in the title of your submission(s). Feel free to be creative and play with this tag. An empty titular diagram or simply a mark of question are also admissible, with the understanding that if someone inquires within they don't mind a surprising outcome!

5) GW constables don't moderate conversations. Sorry, can't help with inaudible questions. Feel free to contact us about anything else.

/r/gonewanton

36,438 Subscribers

220

Sir, As Winter closes in, Lady B_____ do complain upon the cold and also of the "rural" manner of coals burning in the grate. I send for particulars from local ironmongers, and present herewith my two choices. Pray help me choose betwixt "The Empire" and "The Royal Standard" modern heating geysers

5 Comments
2024/11/30
00:22 UTC

96

Sir, There is much to be learned from the many illustrated books of our age. In the 'Woman's Favourite Cookbook' I discover a whole chapter devoted to butter making.

7 Comments
2024/11/25
15:24 UTC

243

Sir, I have been told that my economy measure of making staff share both sleeping quarters and beds is improper and unhygienic. However, whenever I quietly peer through the keyhole to check upon their welfare, it seems that my staff very much enjoy sharing each other's company.

3 Comments
2024/11/23
23:17 UTC

317

Dear Hubby, Our newest household addition is our new sommelier, Adeline.

She’s rather…French! She has this wonderful new concept, letting the wine breath. To bring the enjoyment to its highest level, she it insists it must be done au naturale! The experience has been quite liberating.

4 Comments
2024/11/15
03:24 UTC

122

Sir, During the weekend grouse shoot the subject of Lord Kitchener arose. I had to confess my lack of knowledge of the military campaigns that forged our great Empire. I have retreated to the library to educate myself on the finer details of milirary manoeuvres

5 Comments
2024/11/12
15:54 UTC

182

Gussy Herbert is on government business in Egypt. He do send me an illustration of life and fashions therewithin. I must speak to Lady B___ in regards to our next Summer destination.

4 Comments
2024/11/11
23:54 UTC

142

Sir, The summer is very much over and thus I instruct maid Fanny to dismantle Lady B___ 's garden chair. I observe that it has succumbed to mildew during the recent wet weather, and suggest a way to avoid dirtying her clothing. I stay awhile to ensure the work is performed satisfactorily.

0 Comments
2024/10/28
23:55 UTC

134

My agent in Andalusia recently recruited a new nanny. Since my boys are coming of age soon, I felt it appropriate that a physical description was provided before I agreed to hire the maid. This epistle arrived by post today, and I believe the qualifications will be sufficient.

1 Comment
2024/10/25
06:41 UTC

201

Sir, an increase in maids with infirmities such as rickets do trouble me, as they are unable to perform their work to a satisfactory degree. I have therefore introduced a test which new maids must pass. Such is its importance that I have decreed to supervise this test myself in person.

5 Comments
2024/10/24
22:00 UTC

376

Sir, in these troubling times of miasmas and the pox, I have instructed staff to ensure my house is well cleansed and free of bad airs. My maid Ada do have a diligent attitude to cleaning and polishing, which is most instructive to watch.

3 Comments
2024/10/15
22:09 UTC

137

Sir, I do take a glass of port to my library and do study for many hours. Kepler's Somnium, Bacon's New Atlantis and even Swift's Gulliver's Travels do reveal a future world unknown to us. Upon taking a third glass of port, I do imagine another world as yet unknown.

0 Comments
2024/10/10
00:48 UTC

170

Sir, I write in haste and with some little secrecy; located as I am upon a straw paillasse within the boathouse. I unexpectedly found myself in the presence of a disrobed maid. I have yet to provide an explanation which might quell the ire of Lady B___. Any assistance offered is appreciated.

3 Comments
2024/10/04
23:50 UTC

300

Sir, A wager : I do bet that maid Lottie cannot sit comfortably upon the chair without touching seat cushion or seat back. Her early attempts have clothing touching said cushions and thus forfeit, but a final wager brings a new technique and she wins two shillings. A fine afternoon's sport.

6 Comments
2024/09/27
23:32 UTC

121

Trans pornography

6 Comments
2024/09/22
11:56 UTC

181

Sir, Lady B____ reports a fault with her screen, whereupon it wobbles while she is dressing. "Only while dressing?" "Yes". I summon maid Harriet to assist me in recreating the problem, and do you know it took us nigh on an hour to discover the loose hinge.

0 Comments
2024/09/19
09:02 UTC

131

Sir, A picture post-card arrives from Gussy Herbert, on a trade envoy to Greece. "Am enjoying the Retsina and the unusual sports of this place. One of the wrestlers has offered to show me some of his 'moves' tomorrow night, quite exciting!". I raise a glass of Port to Gussy and his awakening.

9 Comments
2024/09/14
22:36 UTC

133

Sir, much commotion from the servants quarters. I race up there with poker in hand, expecting to find an intruder. Instead, I discover only maid Ethel, who explains that she is administering first-aid upon the postman, collapsed from overwork delivering the penny post. Ethel is such a caring maid.

0 Comments
2024/09/12
23:06 UTC

133

Sir, An unusual chill for an early September eve, and so I to my study where a glass of port and some educational literature soon warms the heart and brain. I note some fine fashions from the past - 1794 ! - and wonder how we have lost our way in these prudish times.

5 Comments
2024/09/05
22:34 UTC

179

Sir, Lady B___ returns from visiting Lady Cunningham, where they daily have music played during luncheon. I am instructed to make this happen also, thus I interview local minstrels. One lady catches my eye. She is perhaps not so musical, but I feel I could help encourage her talents.

0 Comments
2024/08/31
22:20 UTC

135

Sir, In another place there has been a discussion of ladies with rings piercing their nipples (please pardon my French) in the manner of a ring through the nose of a bullock. It is to my dismay that I do not have any illustrations of such, but I did find a lady with tattoos. I trust this suffices.

7 Comments
2024/08/26
22:18 UTC

250

Sir, My Maids do complain upon the recent hot weather, and make requests for time off. I fear that reducing their hours will reduce their take-home pay, and as a progressive employer I would not facilitate this. Another solution to working in the heat is soon found.

4 Comments
2024/08/18
11:20 UTC

155

Sir, The editor of the Farmers Gazette enquired with my gamekeeper regarding the escape of a farm animal very recently. As there were no first hand accounts I obliged him by re creating the scene for the photo lithographic artist. Sales of the Gazette have improved considerably.

1 Comment
2024/08/09
10:22 UTC

159

Sir, My Head Gardener reports a glut of root vegetables. I have devised a method of grading the length and girth, Cook will not tolerate any sign of flacidity in the produce.

0 Comments
2024/08/08
11:49 UTC

184

Sir, members may recall a letter to the Times concerning the variable quality of garden furniture originating from beyond the Empire. Presently, there is some scientific endevour to esablish an international standard for weight bearing.

1 Comment
2024/08/08
11:42 UTC

156

An advertisement for a home massage, 19th century.

2 Comments
2024/07/28
21:09 UTC

266

Sir, After a tiresome day scolding servants, I do retire to my library to peruse my books over a glass of brandy. Upon the page, a morality tale do appear : When hiring two doxies be sure to watch them both, or one will surely steal your roast beef and port while you are otherwise occupied.

5 Comments
2024/07/28
19:38 UTC

194

Sir, I do hire a new maid. She hath not uniform nor working attire, but as a progressive employer I offer to provide these at no charge. I use the latest wet collodion photographic method to ensure perfect clothing fit. This do greatly please my new maid, and do please myself a little also.

0 Comments
2024/07/25
22:29 UTC

260

Sir., following the unfortunate incident in the drawing room with Maid Molly and Ada, I do insist that immediate repairs be undertaken to the damaged drapes. Molly do exert such effort, and maid Ada assists and encourages. I remain a while, to validate their work.

1 Comment
2024/07/14
01:41 UTC

726

Sir, A great commotion in the drawing room. Maid Molly explains she was standing upon Ada's shoulders to better reach the drapes for cleaning; she slipped and all came down. A gust of wind blew their clothes clean away. Concerned for their safety, I supervise the completion of their work together.

4 Comments
2024/07/06
23:46 UTC

181

Sir, Anticipating a visit from Lord Albermarle, and following my previous problems with seating comfort, I do now employ Maid Effie to test all of my furnishings. She do declare this chair "most soft and welcoming". Having considered her assessment at length, I do heartily agree.

1 Comment
2024/06/20
23:11 UTC

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