Any women on here who get intense imposter syndrome? I feel the pressure to represent and as a result find myself feeling inadequate and stupid all the time

I am an electrical engineer who has been in big tech for 7 years. At each of my roles, I’ve worked on system verification and validation where I am not very involved in the design aspect. In my latest role, I am a lead validation for some high impact programs, so I get a lot of face time with management and executives. However, I’ve been doing this for almost 6 years and it feels more like a project management role with just some technical skills being used.

However, because I have been reliable on these projects, I believe that management now puts me in charge of these projects because they follow a tight deadline while my other colleagues are put on more interesting projects that allow them to exercise and develop a variety of skills.

I have expressed to management that I would like to be involved in other projects and have sought out other projects myself, but they often lead to dead ends. I still keep looking for opportunities, but what I’ve noticed has been most effective has been my manager assigning new projects to direct reports.

At this point, I am concerned over my lack of growth and my future employability, as the main skills I’ve honed over the last few years in this role have primarily been project management, system level debugging and some Python development. To be honest, I’m not sure where to go from here. I am fortunate to have a job in this market, but am concerned this won’t last long if I keep doing the same thing over and over.

I had this moment with my granddad recently where he asked me what I do for work, and I completely blanked on how to explain it in simple terms. I work in tech, and while I know what I do day-to-day, it’s surprisingly hard to break it down into something that makes sense to someone who isn’t familiar with the industry.

How do you explain your job to non-tech people, especially older family members? Do you simplify it, or just say something vague like 'I fix computers'?

I’m a CMU student majoring in AI computer science and I'm surrounded by the “the best of the best” and still, I’m concerned for the generation of young kids who believe everything GenAI says as gospel. We know that AI is algorithmically biased and can generate results that further propagate biases, but who gets a say in defining what is biased? I keep thinking about how these teams are 80% male... should it really be up to them? I think platforms seriously need to give users the collective right to judge bias on their own terms.

How much do you guys trust GenAI technology? Is there a need to advocate for our own voices as users or am I just overreacting?

Here are some additional articles in case you want to see for yourself the biases that were found in GenAI: https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2023-generative-ai-bias/

https://www.technologyreview.com/2022/12/12/1064751/the-viral-ai-avatar-app-lensa-undressed-me-without-my-consent/

https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/24/tech/google-search-ai-results-incorrect-fix/index.html#:~:text=Business%20%2F%20Tech-,Google%20Search's%20AI%20falsely%20said%20Obama%20is%20a%20Muslim,it's%20turning%20off%20some%20results&text=Alphabet%20CEO%20Sundar%20Pichai%20speaks,criticism%20for%20some%20false%20results.

https://nettricegaskins.medium.com/the-boy-on-the-tricycle-bias-in-generative-ai-d0fd050121ec

I just got a tentative job offer for a job that would sponsor a secret security clearance for me. My future career goal is to work somewhere in the cybersecurity field once I get my bachelors!

I’m wondering if a secret security clearance will be valuable in finding me higher paying jobs or jobs in general after I graduate or is it only a top secret security clearance that gives you those opportunities?

I have no tech experience whatsoever and the job that I was offered is unrelated to tech.

It’s going to be long, so thank you in advance, and I appreciate anyone who spends their time reading this.

TL;DR at the end.

Background: I’m a (young; female; legitimately and medically diagnosed autistic) career changer and have been studying cybersecurity and working in tech since 2022. Early this year, I was promoted from a service/IAM position to an incident response position at an MSP/MSSP.

I’ve made mistakes before, but until now only things that have been quickly resolved. I know mistakes are normal/expected, especially for the field and my lack of experience, but I also understand the gravity of the incident and don’t want to diminish it at all.

———————

All-in-all, I really screwed it up. I got an alert for an unusual sign-in and overlooked some red flags since I had never seen an incident under those circumstances. Obviously, I knew compromise was a possibility, but some combination of unusual factors, alert fatigue, and inexperience got the better of me, and I genuinely thought it was a false positive and marked it as such.

About a month later, we find out it was a legitimate acct takeover, and since I marked it false positive there were no additional alerts generated in that time. It involved a theft of an unfathomably high dollar amount and proper authorities are handling the investigation.

I almost threw up when I found out. I take great pride in the effort I put in my work and the countless hours I spend studying outside of work. I completely understand needing some level of punishment. I know I fucked it up and I’m glad not to be fired. I just don’t know how long this punishment is supposed to last AND why I’m being reprimanded for things unrelated.

————————

I spent a week terrified that I would lose my job. Finally, at the end of the week I get a call from someone (title starting with a C) in the company. They went into detail that they don’t know how I made this mistake and that I’m screwing with the reputation of the company. Okay, you’re right, I get it.

Then I am told I have the weekend to write up a report, which is something we don’t typically do in my position. I knew enough from the MS courses I am taking that I managed to put something together (~12 pages) that I felt proud of. I included all of the potential red flags that I missed at the time and things I would have done differently, as well as my thought process/reasoning at the time of the alert. I didn’t think there was anything else to add, and I gave it my best effort

Unfortunately, due to lack of training/education, I still missed the one red flag that the person cared about. Obviously, I now know and that mistake will never happen again, but I still disappointed this person (who directly controls if I am employed or not.)

I have since sat through numerous meetings about this mistake, many as a group and many 1-1. Usually 2x a day. It’s beginning to feel personal.

As this person said, this was a “group failure” with multiple unlucky circumstances aligning to where this happened, and “almost everyone” made the same mistake after reviewing the logs. Okay, that would be fine, but for a “group failure” I feel like I’m receiving individual punishment.

I had to listen to how “you have so many certifications but still made this mistake, so explain that” insinuating that the certs I spend countless hours studying for are illegitimate due to my lack of experience, despite being very clear about my experience in my interview.

During an interrogation I had on Monday I was told by this person “you are too emotional for cybersecurity” because I got a bit teary eyed. Notice: I said teary eyed, not sobbing uncontrollably. At the worst they heard me clear my throat before speaking or a voice crack.

Is it irrational to show emotion when fearing for your livelihood for a week straight, after making a significant error at a job you loved, and then having hours of your extra time and effort torn apart while you present it?

Apparently, yes. Despite any response I gave, I was told I wouldn’t be able to progress in the field because “if you are interviewed by (three letter agency) after a mistake and you show any emotion they will think you are lying, which will make things more difficult for the company.”

These people are aware I am autistic, and I have offered to supply diagnostic/medical paperwork multiple times explaining how autism presents in females. Despite two decades of effort, classes, professional public speaking experience, and forcing myself into uncomfortable scenarios, I still only have but so much control over my facial expressions and tone. This does not affect the speed or quality of my work.

This person chose to add “I told you in your interview that you were too emotional for this.” Which is true, technically.

—————————

My interview for this promotion was the first time I had ever met this person. Somehow, this person ascertained in the 20 minutes of interview time that I’m “too emotional,” despite this being the first conversation we had, and to my knowledge, the only “emotion” I showed was being a little offended when I was told “if you weren’t internal I wouldn’t be talking to you.”

Ultimately, at the end of the interview I was told “I don’t think you’ll last a week, and anyone else would just throw away your resume, but I guess you can try it since you’re an internal applicant.”

It definitely wasn’t how I wanted to get the promotion, but a win is a win.

I later spoke with all of the members of the team, and learned I was the only one asked such difficult technical questions or spoken to this way. I am the first female on the team. At the time this felt a bit sexist, but I’m not one to pull that card (since it rarely changes anything without concrete, written or recorded proof) and I needed experience, so I didn’t make waves over it.

Additionally, this promotion didn’t come with a raise, only a small COL increase($2k/yr). I did ask for 12k more than I was previously making (would have been 62k) because the requirements and responsibilities compared to my previous role are vastly different, but was denied and had to accept $52k/yr.

I haven’t stopped applying since. Even just the interview ruined this job for me. I never wanted this to be long-term.

—————————

Now this mistake situation has become ridiculous.

No matter what I said, “I’m sorry, I’ve been very stressed out from this situation, so yes I am a bit teary, but I am still working as you asked me to.”

“I’m autistic and have stated multiple times I am happy to provide medical/diagnostic papers, and there is only so much I am capable of controlling when I comes to facial expressions and tone.”

None of it matters.

I was still met with “I told you so. You’re too emotional for cybersecurity.” Which I am trying my best to ignore, but really pisses me off since it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the mistake I made.

I have now been tasked with creating a 30 minute presentation and showing the rest of the team “what I learned” by Friday. This is outside of my regular responsibilities, and conveniently, assigned immediately after I explained that I’m happy to write all day every day but public speaking chokes me up (even after years of doing it).

This person has decided that I must by lying or that I never actually tried to improve my public speaking skills, which couldn’t be further from the truth. “You just need more practice.” “You need to grow out of it.”

After I complete this to their liking, there is more work waiting for me to “make sure I really understand.”

Something about all of this REALLY rubs me the wrong way. I can’t think of any situation in which my male colleagues would be told they are being “too emotional to be in cybersecurity” or that they “need to grow out of” something they struggle with. Imagine if I told my manager “you need to grow out of your bad spelling.”

Is this just a cope? Am I actually “too emotional for cybersecurity?" To me this just feels like a classic phrase said to women from sexist men, but I knew this would happen before I even got a tech job. It’s horrible, but people refuse to acknowledge it or pretend it isn’t happening, so whatever. I control what I can.

How long should punishment last for a ~million dollar error that I’m not getting fired over? I don’t know if I can just deal with the public shaming indefinitely. (Probably because I’m “too emotional” lmfao)

Anyway- tell me if I’m just being a baby here or if this is as bizarre/excessive as it feels.

TL;DR: I made a $1mil mistake. I understand the issue and it won’t happen again. I have an unspecified period of punishment work. Boss is saying I’m “too emotional for cybersecurity” for not being a brick wall and it feels like a sexist dogwhistle, but are they right? Is there such a thing as “too emotional for cybersecurity?” Would I REALLY make the company look bad if (three letter agency) interviewed me after an incident and I got red cheeks/teary eyed? Would they not understand the concept of being nervous in a stressful situation?

I was recently subcontracted by a design + development studio to create a website for a company. My contract with the studio had an hourly rate. In the middle of doing revisions for the first delivery, they abruptly emailed me saying they were ending my involvement in the project, and I had my access revoked from everything. I sent them my timesheet and invoice for the hours I had done, about $2000 worth of work. They responded saying that they were willing to pay me only $1500 because they didn't accept the quality of the work, and that I should be grateful for that because their "legal team" advised them that they didn't have to pay me anything at all.

We had an hourly contract so shouldn't they be legally required to pay me my full hourly wage regardless of the quality of my work (which I would stand by anyway)? They are a studio of only 2 people (at least that's what they advertise), so I'm surprised that they have a full legal team as they claim to, but I certainly don't have a lawyer let alone a whole team so I'm not sure what I can do. It's probably not worth it to hire one to fight for $500. I'm not trying to seek legal advice on Reddit, but I'm wondering if anyone has dealt with anything similar? Or if people have general advice about whether I should just let this go and move on or try to fight for the $500?

I could try to contact the company that originally hired the studio that hired me, but my contract was with the studio so the company isn't legally obligated to pay me anything.

I work in a niche field regarding satellite imagery analysis (for 2.5 years) and have been dealing with a lot of micro aggressions and sexism in my very male dominated work field. Due to my issue being sadly so common, I’d be interested in finding a mentor in the tech industry?

I’m also looking to go towards legacy software engineering, so am open to folks in the broader software engineering field as well.

I’ve been using LinkedIn, Google jobs, Indeed and ZipRecruiters but getting zero bites. What’s your go-to job board that you’ve successfully gotten traction on job applications?

i'm from india and I'd heard lots of info about grace hopper conference before online - about how it was really great for networking, connections and in general a good place to be for women in tech. when i saw it was going to happen in india, i was really excited for it and signed up for it along with my female teammates but i had a pretty meh experience.

first of all, why are the tickets 25k inr(300$???)? my company paid for it, but if they didn't I would never go nor recommend anyone to go. it did not seem worth it at all. plus if they are all for making tech jobs accessible for women - how does this price make it accessible? it's just for privileged women(i am one of them i admit obviously). who are the people who are even going here? because mostly it seemed company sponsored women engineers or college students - but what kind of college student has 25k for a basic conference?

second of all, what do they need so much money for? the food was really shitty. is the anitab.org legit? the woman who gave a lot of opening speeches and is the managing director(shreya krishnan) did not even seem to be from a tech background? it honestly felt like an elaborate scheme to me of getting money and getting the employees paid. i have no idea how much impact they are actually making.

thirdly, the sessions were not very engaging in my opinion. the career fair was also mostly just signing up on qr codes, and most people did not give us any attention once they saw we had 2 yoe(this could be a personal experience though maybe others had more luck). the speakers seemed to just say random phrases containing "diversity", "inclusion" etc etc. felt very inauthentic. plus they had like sessions by "lifestyle coaches" which idk but felt very random. like, if i want coaching advice, i would want it from someone in tech, and not someone who will just give me random platitudes of "believe in yourself".

fourth, they also invited this actress for a fireside conversion(??) another decision I do not understand at all. She is the daughter of a prominent mla(late) yet she said that she does not come from any privilege?? again, another weird choice of person to invite.

lastly, the only good part imo was the final show where they invited rani koh-e-noor - an indian drag performer.

anyways, am i the only one who felt icky after going to the whole ghci conference. it didn't really feel inclusive, it felt very pretentious instead and circle-jerky. is the ghc which happens in usa also similar or better? lemme know your thoughts.

Job description required coding experience and turns out I won't be doing any coding at all. At first I thought maybe I can still use this opportunity to automate things or talk to QA/dev team and learn from them and try and make the best of it to transition to a better role later. That is not an option because there is no QA/dev team. My job without all the fluff surrounding it boils down to data entry.

I have no idea how to get into the coding side of tech. I do not want to do devops nor do I want to do data science. I really want to end up in software dev and the market is terrible for it. I have nobody to give me real advice on how to go about getting an entry level job that will be able to pivot me in the correct direction. I can grind leetcode all day or woek on personal projects but without internships or any sort of school related projects, I feel like I stand no chance. What do I do?

Sorry in advance for the long post. I switched majors a million times before deciding ya know what, let’s try computer science. LOVED my CS1 class learning the basics of C++. Weirdly enough didn’t pay attention much in my Intro to Networking class, as I was so convinced I wanted to do programming.

That first semester after switching to CS, I got an internship doing IT/Cyber. I absolutely fell in love with it. Now I’m working at a local MSP as a Network Admin (again.. didn’t pay attention in Intro to Networking lmfao). I got so incredibly lucky and I love the stuff that I’m doing at work. I chose CS so I didn’t have to work with a bunch of people like I originally wanted to (healthcare), but now I actually like this nice middle ground.

I’m really hating my CS2 class where we’re delving into data structures, memory management, recursion, etc. It is so unbelievably boring to me, and I’m struggling to understand parts of it because I just DONT want to pay attention. I want to work. I just know that my Data Structures and Algorithm Analysis classes next semester are going to kick my ass. I didn’t exactly struggle with most of the math requirements, hated Calc 2 and currently scraping by in Discrete Math (love the ideas! Hate doing it).

Should I just bite the bullet and switch to IT instead? It makes me feel so stupid switching, honestly. Like I can’t handle the classes.. which I guess I could, it’s just making me feel so burnt out and making me really hate the field. I know I’m probably going to continue building off of the work experience I have anyways, which is IT related. I know for a fact that I do NOT want to do anything like software engineering.

TLDR: I already have experience as a Network Admin and I’m starting to realize I really hate coding (for the most part). I know I will never go into a field like Software Development. Should I just switch my major from CS to IT?

I currently work in the enterprise applications department within IS. I am a support specialist for the management suite my our company uses. While I have been working this job I have been working on my CS degree.

Currently, the some of the most technical aspects of my job are helping fix front end issues by locating and fixing disconnected or issues in the database using SQL. In addition I have just started learning to make reports for users. There are a lot of other things I get to do, and am being taught. So far gave really enjoyed my job. Though my plan is to finish my degree and focus on my next move. As I don't see this being what I want to do for the rest of my career.

I have been taking different programming classes through school of course Java, .Net & C#, C++, PHP & mySQL, etc. Honestly I think I have enjoyed my SQL and database classes, a long with the website development and design the most. The OOP has been interesting and I do well, but I feel like since I don't really use it beyond school in the same way I get to use SQL, it is hard for me to truly understand it or know if that is the way I want to go. So I am not still 100% certain of which path I want to go down.

My current job recently started using Power Qpps to create internal apps for different departments, though I am not aware of the specifics. They have hired a new guy to lead the department and they have a part time guy working with him at the moment. It sounds like the company wants to start investing more into this department and they have reached out to me to see my level of interest in joining the department.

At first I thought this could be a good opportunity, and I could get exposure to some coding in the day to day to gauge my interest in it as a career. I communicated that I very much see myself as a beginner and they told me that's fine since it will be exclusively Power Apps and low/no code when creating the apps. This makes me think this might not be as good of an opportunity. Since it doesn't really seem like I would be learning or applying my knowledge using actual programming. They have also been having my manger train me on more advanced stuff with my current position.

Am I better off sticking with my current role and finishing my degree before I look into a career switch? Or would the other role, even though it is with Power Apps, possibly be a good opportunity?

I'm two years into my role as a new grad and while I feel comfortable adding the other grads on instagram, I received a follow request from a much older male engineer in my team. He's an introvert himself and I guess he sees himself in me (I have social anxiety) so he's very nice to me in work and friendly in office (I see him as a grandpa tbh). He recently made a move to relocate his desk beside mine as our team reduced in size and since then we've been talking more, sharing random nerdy stuff via work chat, and one day I showed him a reel. Then a couple of days later we had lunch together for the first time, just the two of us and he mentioned that reel again. I said I would send it to him and he proceeded to pull out his phone and search me up on instagram. Before I knew it I was spelling out my account name slowly... and when the results came up he asked if he could follow me. What could I say?

It's been a couple days later and I have not accepted his request.

I have no posts on my account but as someone who is avoidant, my instinct is to keep people out of my life. I don't see bad intentions in him but he has made efforts to get closer outside of work which I'm uncomfortable with e.g. inviting me out after work to try a casual food place he highly recommended as I had mentioned liking it.

He doesn't seem to have a family of his own but he has grandpa vibes and loves his nieces and nephews and grandchildren. A part of me thinks he feels bad for me being so shy and quiet.

Does anyone add older colleagues or am I overthinking? I've had similar experiences in the past with older male colleagues wanting to meet up outside of work (which I reject) so I cannot tell if this is a cultural thing or not. One of them was familiar with my former manager + his wife and even exchanged food or had dinners together. And for context, they are all white

I've not had the chance to work with women a lot so haven't had the same experience with them but I'm more guarded with men

Hi all - newly diagnosed with ADHD in June and being medicated has been life changing for me. There is one issue I am continually struggling with and I am curious if anyone has any advice.

I am a full time software developer and I also do freelance work, so I stay pretty busy. For as long as I can remember, I struggle to consistently work at a table or desk. Even in college, I really struggled to avoid my bed or a couch for studying. I persevered and did really well with my weird study habits. I just chalked it up to wanting to be comfy after a long day on campus.

Fast forward to now, I am struggling to work at my desk. I really need multiple monitors, I often have a bunch of files and projects open. I end up working on my couch, and becoming increasingly frustrated. I find myself saying okay, time to get to the desk. Cmon you can do it. But I don’t. I struggle and quit way sooner than I want, for the stupidest and most ridiculous reasons. Like getting frustrated because my coding editor is painful to read when I split two projects across my tiny laptop screen.

But for the life of me, the desk remains a barrier. I think part of it is mental, like once I’m in “work mode” it gets real. Similar to how I have often struggled to shower or transition into certain activities, I think this is related. But I am wondering if anyone has advice for making my desk more comfortable or easier to work at. I don’t want to hyper fixate and spend a bunch of money and end up having it not work. I have a nice office chair I got from Facebook marketplace, like the chair is not objectively uncomfortable. My desk is nice. It’s a standing desk - I have tried standing and it is literally so bad I cannot process thoughts while standing and trying to do something complicated. Overall I feel like it’s fine…my monitors take up a bit of space but I can comfortably move things around and do what I need to do. I’m wondering if that big chair you can sit cross legged in, the one that was all over TikTok, if that might help? I don’t know. I need some advice or anecdotes. I feel stupid for focusing on the comfort of the chair, but it’s the only discernible difference I can find between my couch and my desk chair. Open to any suggestions.

Just had about 5 hours of interviews for an on site with a company. Initial onsite of 4 interviews + 1 post onsite

Got Strong positive reviews on the Systems Design, CTO talk, and one of the coding sessions. and an ‘Okay’ on the second coding session so they asked me to do a post onsite.

Post onsite went terrible. Interviewer was in a loud public space with bad internet connection and I didn’t feel that their attention + energy was fully focused on giving the interview since they had a flight to catch right after, and the coding environment took forever to run everytime we went to test so we lost a lot of time there too.

Was told that the post onsite was a fail from my external recruiter, but have yet to get an official response yet.

Company thinks I am a great fit technically, culturally, and have great energy.

I’ve worked in the company’s industry for years so i have a lot of knowledge on the products they’re building since i’ve helped build and maintain them at my previous company

I feel like this fumble of the post onsite just ruined everything. Still waiting for a response, but dang the stars really felt like they were aligning here and then it all fell apart :(

I can't tell if I'm overreacting or...? Admittedly, ,I've been a bit on edge following election results here in the US. In my worst moments, I feel that as a woman, I'll never be seen as good enough. It didn't matter here where a woman ran against an actual rapist who does not seem intelligent or that he cares about our country or its people.

My situation is that I'm working on a project with two other teammates now. It involves a front end UI, creating api endpoints for FE to hit, and creation of a test DB seeded with the appropriate mock data.

We had a lot of good discussion together to plan things out and talk them through. When it came time for me to start on my part (FE), I did and was in contact with the team regarding api or data updates.

The next morning the team member who was doing the database part had put together a whole end to end demo and had it in his branch and was walking through the code line by line. First of all, I understand the code and second of all, I thought that was my part? I understand sometimes it helps to hook it all up to see the data visualized. He said it was in a branch and we could use it or not use it.

For context, he has been in the industry for years and is good at what he does, ,but I feel like he was providing a template bc he didn't trust what I would do. He's also making some adjustments to the other girl's code vis his branch as well. Now, some of that is expected bc he's writing the queries in the code that she needs so it overlaps.

On a related note, I brought up some considerations earlier in the week after we met with our manager who has a lot of feedback on the project. At the time it seemed like the other two missed what he meant for the FE. I reiterated it and they both said no that's not what we need to do. So I had related questions when I met with my manager later that week and he reaffirmed what I was thinking. We set up a meeting with us, the PM, and our manager. But even right up to the meeting, despite me having told him that our manager expected the data to be shown a certain way he kept telling me we don't need to worry about it. And we don't care bc XYZ . Which I get but ultimately if our manager cares, we have to care bc he's so heavily involved in this project.

Ultimately we met and we have to update the AC of the story bc we have to take those considerations into account.

All of this is to say that I feel dismissed a lot lately. This coworker is someone who I haven't had a problem working with up untill now. He's actually praised me to our manager in the past bc he was impressed with how much I was picking up so quickly after starting. But now I'm worried that I've been there two years and I'll never have my considerations heard.

So now I'm dreading going back on Monday bc I have more of the front end done but I feel like he's going to have built it out more and I'm going to need to decide if and how I deal with this ...

Am I overreacting? I actually can't tell...

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. I'm a junior backend developer with 1 year of experience, and I'm seeking a mentor or suggestions for places where I can find one. Over the past year, I’ve been working with a team of male engineers, but the experience hasn't been consistently positive. I’m particularly looking to connect with women in tech or engineering who can guide me on my journey. I'd love to connect and learn from you!

Does anyone know of resources or opportunities for people on DACA who want to get into the tech field? Thinking internships, programs, etc

Early career (entry level transitioning to middle management), and looking for more advice on navigating corporate. What are the unspoken rules/secret tricks you've learned? How did you align yourself with the "core group" that's always tapped and promoted? I'm on the right track, but I want to make sure I'm keeping a broad view of things.

I realize this is vague, so I've listed examples of the type of advice I'm looking for:

• nothing is ever a problem, it's always a "challenge"
• underpromise and overdeliver
• talk more about the activities than where you vacationed (conversational, doesn't make people uncomfortable, can be in-group signal-y)

The general advice I've found floating around on the internet is somewhat helpful, but being a woman in corporate comes with its own challenges that general advice can't speak to.

Thanks!

Hey everyone, I just wanted to check in here and get some other perspectives. As the title states, I went to a bootcamp after having a whole other career. I've been at my large fintech company for a little over two years. I feel like I'm not very good at my job and it's starting to become apparent 😬. There's a few issues at play: since it's a big company, things move very slowly and so I don't actually write a ton of code, but I am always working on code related tasks like working with others or figuring out what changes need to be made. Second, I feel like I'm not THAT into technology and so I don't read or learn about it outside of work and I think that puts me at a disadvantage. I want to be better at my job and improve my skills, but I feel lost at how to do that, because just taking random udemy courses is absolutely not for me.

Does anyone else feel this way? What did you do about it? Am I doomed?

Hey all, I've worked my job as SE in the research field for 4 yrs now. I am one of the two females in a small team of 6 devs supporting a branch of researchers. Over the years I've been made to feel like I'm doing too much, and now I'm extremely self conscious about my work and contributions. Nowadays, I cannot help but cringe at myself for pitching bold ideas and making an effort. When I write long messages in TEAMS explaining something complex to my colleagues I fight a strong urge to delete it and edit it to make it shorter because I feel overbearing.

I was not always this way. I have always been a very diligent and detail-oriented person. I took pride in that. No matter what I do, I want to do it with care. My male teammates always felt like there was no point in being so thorough. I get praises in my performance reviews, but I also get teased or ignored enough it's starting to get to me. For instance, I enjoy writing, and naturally end up writing long reports because I feel like that's where I can really justify my work. My coworkers compliment me about it but sometimes it's coated with a hint of resentment. They think status reports are "filler work", that "no one actually reads this stuff." So they don't try and they don't care. They tease me for writing paragraphs and say confusing stuff like "your report makes us look good. It makes it look like we're doing something,", or "writing is one of your strengths and a lot is good. It's unfortunate but some people like to see volume over substance." Even our ex supervisor once said "Gosh, you would see so much data on her reports you'd just get bored reading it!" But then he'll turn around in the performance reviews, praise my attention to detail, give me a raise, and encourage me to keep it up.

I feel like I'm being complimented and insulted at the same time. The thing is we ARE doing things. Big, important things. We're paid handsomely, and we work our assess off. I don't understand why my teammates insist on underestimating their efforts and expecting me to do the same thing.

But I think the bigger cause to my crumpled confidence was taking part of a project that had awful management and an awful leader. He used to be more engaging with me, but after I spent so many times explaining to him things he misunderstood about our work because he was so absent, I became too much for him. He started ignoring most of my updates/questions/e-mails/feedback/chats. He dismissed the concerns I'd raise in meetings, shot down the solutions I offered. Someone else had to repeat my thoughts/sentiments for him to consider them. If he did respond/acknowledge anything, it was either condescending, flippant, or paired with obvious frustration. That's when I felt like I was being overbearing.

I am now part of a new project with a much better lead who is as detail oriented as I am, but I cannot get over the hump of being self conscious with my work. Everything everyone has ever said before that dumpster fire project has come back to haunt me, no matter how innocent and well-meaning. My workplace is fairly supportive and good natured. But I don't understand this weird show of appreciation for good work ethic where I'm left to feel like I need to reel it back in. I feel overwhelming. That I'm taking up too much space. And now I cringe at myself if I catch myself being diligent, enthusiastic, or passionate about something at work.

Hey gals, I recently started working at an AI tech startup and am looking for some ways to keep up-to-date with AI. I thought I could do this by following some content creators on social media but am finding it so hard to find creators/videos that aren't run by young-white men who seem to mansplain everything while shouting into the camera...

Anyone know of any good AI resources on social media?

I’ve recently been promoted to the lead developer role. It seems like the misogyny is a lot less. My work actually gets recognized more and people start to treat me as equal now. I’m also getting along with the team well. Does things always get better when you get a more senior title in the organization? I would like to hear your thoughts.

Hi guys I’m a current teacher looking to transitioning into content design/Ux writing. I have a bachelors in Journalism and I speak Spanish and French. Any tips on getting into these fields or recommendations on something different I could be good at?

Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone,

With GHCI 2024 coming right up in two weeks and even some scholarship results out, I thought it would be helpful to create a Whatsapp group, and connect and network with the other attendees before and after the event. It would also be helpful for those who are looking for accommodations or any information to find other attendees who might be able to help them!

If you are attending GHCI 2024 and would love to join the Whatsapp group, please DM me. Hope it proves to be helpful and excited to be a part of GHCI and looking forward to meeting you all!

Hey everyone! would love to hear what you think, any feedback is welcome.

I'm currently applying for my first role in ML/DL. I really need to find employment soon, need to get back on my feet, I want to actually start living like a normal person.

A little about me:

• I haven’t had a job before due to a health issue which is now resolved (don't want to share this at all with employers).
• Despite this, I’ve remained active with my learning, I also have a blog and some personal projects (I would love to hear what you think!)
• I’m just hungry for real world experience - I just need a chance to prove myself.

My concerns:

• The large gap without work experience, although I know I can manage whatever's thrown at me (this doesn't come from a place of cockiness).
• The current job market seems tough, I just want to get my foot in and gain a bit of stability.

I would appreciate any advice that would increase my chances of landing a job, also any thoughts on my porfolio? I know it's super long but I just screenshotted the Notion template.

Also I'm thinking of sending the portfolio instead of a resume to recruiters since it has the same info. I would be grateful if anyone is willing to review it — I could send the actual link.

Thank you all!