Ok, this’ll be long, so a TLDR is at the end

(For context, I’m AFAB) My gender has always been a very confusing thing for me, with the fact that I often force myself to feel something because I already told people I was that, and my past friendships becoming extremely exclusionary if I identified as something other than what my friends identified as. I’m going to explain what my gender journey has been, and what I have felt like recently.

My gender journey kind of all started when I got a short haircut and immediately felt like I was closer to the gender I wanted to be, and felt way more confident. My friends asked if I was trans, and I said maybe, replying with the fact that I sort of wanted to try he/him pronouns. (more context, these friends sucked) They did not use them, and I never felt quite right when they called me she/her. I constantly shifted from telling them I was nonbinary and telling them I was trans.and eventually found genderfluid, which I used for a while, until I started questioning transmasc a few years later, and told my (new) friends this. They used he/him pronouns for me and I felt so validated and true to myself, but I had a community that still knew me as she/her and sometimes, when they would call me a “girl” I would feel nice, like that fit me. And then I would go back to school the next day and my friends would use he/him and it would feel sort of fitting, like a pair of pants that was the perfect size on the waist and thighs, but were way too short. Now, recently, I’ve become *very* obsessed with Maya Hawke and have been sort of wishing I could look like her. The weird thing about my gender is that I will have super long streaks of feeling like a boy, and then a sort of long streak of feeling female. You see, if I had been born male, I would want to be a fem person, but since I was born female, I feel a constant want to be a boy.
labels I’ve tried that don’t feel right: non binary, transmasc, genderfluid, Demi boy

ok Now the part where I explain what my gender feels like

If I fully transitioned to be a man, I would be unsure of wanting testosterone, since I sometimes just want to be a masculine woman, but sometimes I just want to be feminine, but sometimes I would want to just be a man. I’m super confused and I just want answers

TLDR: I feel like a man often, but sometimes want to just be a tomboy or feminine. I’m super confused please, I need answers

ask any questions if ur confused
posted on r/asktransgender too btw

Hello!

I’m AMAB, hopefully looking to try switching to a neutral or more feminine way of presenting.

I’d love ideas on how to start exploring with clothing, hoping for sites/companies or anything else that might help.

so I really like the idea of being a woman and a femboy, I can’t tell which one I really am, yall got any tips for finding your gender out?

Okay so I’m questioning if I’m trans. Since being young I remember never being a girly girl I used to be Spider-Man crazy like everything was Spider-Man and I’d have to dress in the boys isle so I could wear Spider-Man and I also was always pretty sporty. As I got older I realised I also absolutely hate guys in a dating way and for many many years I have hated my breast and just wish it was smalller or gone. They have been many periods where I will feel awful about my gender for a few weeks like really bad and just cry then it will calm day again for a few months. Also growing up my parents have been quite strict and have definitely voiced their opinion on the trans people and people they so call “microwaves” and I do wonder if this has had an affect and i just can’t discover myself? But I’m not sure what to do if I am actually trans or what.

Thinking out this post helped, which is why I'm writing it, but really I can only summarize my current state in long incoherent run-on sentences. I'm not really expecting help or a response, but letting me know you listen helps. Anyway.

Looks like I finally did it, I finally managed to break whatever scaffolding was holding up my gender identity, worst part is that I'm still not sure if I was correct, it's the scaffolding that was wrong, or at least not capable of withstanding the current storm. Still not sure what triggered it, heck I could feel something was up for ages but still didn't feel ready to acknowledge that maybe something was up when I specifically sought fiction dealing with any form of gender bending, mind bending, soul bending because I could feel it resonating, and when I read something else I continued to be surprised at the depth of feeling when anyone found acceptance. At some level I know what I was doing, but I still don't know the actual trigger, perhaps all it took was exploring by body in a way that felt oddly right (not amazing, but I could practically feel my preconceptions breaking), followed by exploring my gender in a way that for the first time ever felt off.

Heck let's name it I've been considering myself a man for ages without evidence, and for everyone else this has been fine, they find enough evidence in my appearance, but I'm a mental creature, and I looked at the evidence, and found it lacking. You'd think I'd taken the hint, I've been fascinated by transformation since forever, didn't think about what that could mean, didn't think how feminization, crossdressing erotica made me feel good, didn't think how I always imagined myself the object always the subject, didn't think about how the feeling diminished when it became about sex rather than change, didn't think what it meant the same feeling occurred whenever someone anywhere felt pretty, didn't think about what it meant to try feminization hypnosis only to be disappointed when the part where the listener is transformed into the other sex stops. Until finally after a sleep-deprived and confusing night my subconscious managed to outplay the rational part of my brain by proposing to experiment with phytoestrogens to see which direction that would go, then ordered them in a way that people might find out, and then they/me/we freaked out because people may find out, which meant I may need to talk about it, and may need to explain this frankly insane action, and I'm not fucking ready, and explaining stuff I don't understand is my least favourite thing in the world. Thankfully/unfortunately it looks like I might get away with it for now, now I just need to decide, fuck...

So yeah, I still don't know, though I've calmed down a bit, I may still have been right all along, but I'm now officially unmoored, I can no longer truthfully claim to be male, not that I ever did, or needed to, in a way it feels like a victory because I now get to choose how I want to be, doesn't feel like much a victory at the moment because I still have no clue what I want or if I even want to tie myself to another label, as that feels like losing, but I'm not sure I want to continue doing, whatever the fuck just happened.

I've always identified as male. I've found that pansexual is the most accurate description of my sexuality. Yet, I've found myself in a years long, unresolved crisis. I'm a top (sexually), but I find more comfort and feel more attractive in "female" clothing. Exploring this has been difficult. I feel my community would not accept that expression (hard to explain). I also find it nearly impossible to find a romantic partner who is ok with my confused sexual/gender expression. Maybe my confusion is off-putting or maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

Idk what I'm looking for. Any support would help, I s'pose.

Is there a word for when your gender fluctuates between agender, boy and nonbinary/neutral/u know what I mean 🤷🏼. As in specifically those three. I know agender; demiboy; genderflux; nonbinary and all those individual identities, but is there a word for all of them together? If so, pls let me know 🤗

I'm usely 50-60% neutral, 50-40% boy, 0-10-(rare)15% girl. If there's a word for that too than pls let be know ❤️

For the specifics, With the girl part, it is hardly there but still somewhat existent, so it's usely about 0% to a very rare maximum of 15%. There isn't enough 'girl' in me to be considered a demigirl, I do not identify as a demigirl. The boy part is a very large part of my gender which I why I use the turm demiboy a lot, and neutral is also a huge part of my identity, hence why it userly has the largest percentage and how I userly present to people in real life (bc that's a turm most people are familiar enough with to have a clue what I'm talking about lol). (Btw the difference between the agender and the 'neutral' parts is agender being the gender not being present (which is still neutral so that's part of the neutral part of the parentage) and the 'neutral' part meaning a neutral gender, as in the gender is still there, but its neutral. And yes I know agender is a neutral identity, I just didn't have an exact word for the neutral-gender-that-is-still-existent part. If you have any ideas on if there is a specific turm for this other than genderflux/genderfluid, nonbinary, trans, demiboy, any umbrella terms, ex.c, then pls let me know 👍 If you think there is an umbrella turm for this that I haven't already mentioned then feel free to comment that too, I have done a lot of research already and I think I already know most of the umbrella turms that apply to me but who knows they're may be more I don't know of yet ❤️

Thank you for reading this and/or commenting ✨🏳️‍⚧️

I feel like I’m both female and a non-binary identity, but I get the impression that Demi girl adds up to 100% like 75% girl and 25%non-binary. I feel like mine is 100% girl and 50% non-binary. Maybe I’m just overthinking but If anyone can understand this and tell me what it’s called that would be cool :p

i hate the concept of gender. but at the same time i love it. i want to he a boy, i want to be a girl, but i never want to be just a boy or a girl. i dont want to be fully binary. but then i dont want gender at all. genderfluid doesnt feel right, nothing does.

Im going to be bringing up private things, but in would love to get some insight. So I am a pansexual male and am pretty comfortable with myself. But ive always noticed myself having feminine gestures and such, its hard to say but I'd notice myself playing with my hair or such in ways that id seen women do on TV. I was very isolated as a kid and have come to realize that is learned communication and socialization from TV. Its pretty fun tonme know that is can rewatch my childhood favorites and see mannerism that I do everyday.

When I was a kid, body swap episodes in TV always caught my attention and recently I found the movie Your Name and it is one of my favorites hands down.

Over the last few years ive started getting interested in cross dressing pornography. My fiance took me shopping for womens underwear and believes that im trans. I really enjoy wearing feminine things, like underwear. It started as a sexual thing, but now i just feels joy when I do.

Here recently I shaved my body and the experience was amazing, I was over joyed until I looked in the mirror and remembered that im a bit over weight. So I think my body shape killed it for me, but i was definitely enjoying myself before. Days after, i found myself missing my hair, and im very hairy so it took forever, so its not something im going to start regularly doing.

I like my masculine nature, but i also wouldnt mind having a more feminine body. Honestly it feels like I want both. The ideal world would be being able to switch between male and female, but besides clothes, theres no way to do that that would drastically change my body or look. Its just weird.

Am I gender fluid or am I just a crossdresser?

I'm AMAB and consider myself male but with a female-wired brain for lack of better words. I think I'm gender-flux in my feelings of my own gender both my male side and female parts of me. (Of course, your gender is as correct and valid regardless of anatomy let me just make that very clear!)

Still, I feel like a big part of my male gender is more linked to my physical sex, and social roles and stuff like that. I don't really present my "feminine side", I'm either gender-neutral or male and I'm generally comfortable with that. Sometimes I want to be female, In those times I would like to be a more masculine woman, but I wouldn't want to transition socially or physically. I have a dream of almost just being able to snap my fingers and suddenly be in the body someone born biologically female and with a female gender identity but maybe with some masculine traits.

Sometimes I see women for example on the bus and getting a strong feeling of wanting to be in their shoes. This all gets a bit constricting for me feeling like a guy, but also feeling mixed of 2 genders, being born male, but also wanting to be a masculine girl, but not presenting a lot as a feminine man. It often feels comfortable being a guy, but also a bit weird that I'm not AFAB.

(Also writing I realized for example in 65 years I can't picture myself as an old woman, only as an old man, and the same for If I'm ever going to have kids I can only really picture myself as a father and not a mother?? The women I see that I would like to see how it would be to be in their situation is pretty young usually in their early 20s. I'm in my later teens, idk if this is just because I'm looking forward to my 20's and starting university etc or if there is another reason but this is something I just thought of now)

I'm thinking about telling my friend about a queer (not genderqueer) girl I know and trust, she is relatively masculine acting in a couple of ways and has, for example, expressed frustration over how people expect her to dress because they think she dressed too manly, I feel like this is a person that I can more easily talk to about this and that will probably help me about my feelings. Still, I'm not sure what to do about what I feel even tho exploring my gender identity feels nice, it also takes it's toll going back and forth on complex feelings and so on.

I appreciate all commentary and advice greatly! Thank you for your time :)

For background knowledge, I've been AFAB and felt comfortable—though rather neutral—about that fact: going by primarily she/her. Well, that is until I joined a school's theater program, and I noticed members have been referring to me by they/them, seemly only being applied to me. Oddly enough, I don't find it bothering in the slightest. Rather, it got me thinking about my stance on identity, that being:

1. I don't hold particular attachment or feel strong about my gender, if that be strictly girl or boy: it seems flexible or undefined, however, I'm rather reluctant to say I'm genderfluid or Non-binary(?) though agender isn't a bad fit.

2. Despite initially saying "comfortable," that is not entirely true(?) I don't know how to convey it, but I always felt a pit/unease when people use gendered terms: (Ms, girl, women, etc...) when I'm nearby. However, it wasn't nagging enough for me to address. Moreover, my preferences in clothing style and presentation are stereotypically feminine, and that uncomfortablely doesn't extend to my body.

At this point, I'm just tackling myself and now debating if this all some by-product of me over-thinking. Additionly, it feels fraudulent if I'm anything but a women (she/her): everyone knows me as one and it's never been an active issue (How would I even break the news to my friends?)

I’m a man. I know I’m a man. I just don’t always feel like I am. I feel too feminine sometimes, I like it sorta, but I tell myself I don’t. I’m trying to be more masculine by looking more masculine by losing weight and buying some more mature men’s clothing. I want to be more of a man, so the feeling that I’m feminine is really debilitating. I feel so… unworthy… I guess. Like I’m not a real man. Any help is appreciated right now.

I've been bouncing around with different labels and identities in the LGBTQIA community since I was the young age of 7. I feel as if I am not aligned with my assigned female gender at birth. But I don't feel as if I'm a boy or non binary either. I love dressing up in a masc style, feminine style, and androgynous style. They all feel right to me. But using she/her pronouns of any kind makes me uncomfortable. I experience gender dysphoria but I love dressing feminine, having feminine body parts (except my chest) and I never have really saw myself with any sort of male genitalia in any way shape or form. I really need help or guidance in what label seems right for me

More context can be asked for

<3

For any current or expecting parents, guardians, or others playing a significant role in a young person’s life - if you are nonbinary, genderqueer, gender-questioning or gender-non-conforming, feel free to come check out r/nonbinary_parents!

You can also drop by if you’re not a parent but have questions. ☺️

See you there!

Okay, so I’m pretty dang certain I’m genderfluid, but I’ve been having a recurring dream recently, where I have a… uh… thing, ya know? I’m AFAB so I don’t have that part, but I seriously have had that dream now A LOT.

But I’ve also been describing myself as ‘born to be a (non-sexual) femboy’ hahaha. I am ace, so what I mean by femboy is being masculine in vibe/appearance but feminine whenever and however I want to. Whether it be a frilly dress, fancy makeup, nails, big baggy jeans and see thru shirt, or a plain shirt and top. I love dressing up in whatever but I generally hate being biologically female, the only new thing is that I’ve been having that dream. I’m confused and I don’t know how to feel about it.

Any idea as to what that could mean for me?

I'm a female but for some time I've felt weird about my gender. I've always been called by she/her pronouns, I'm comfortable with them. Though I've noticed how sometimes my body just doesn't feel right. Like with my breasts, I sometimes think they're fine, but then sometimes i just don't want them, i hate them. When someone asks me what my pronouns are I say she/her. Even with me questioning myself I always felt comfortable with saying that. Recently someone asked, I gave them the same answer as I always do, but that time it felt wrong. I wanted to say he/him. I took time to think and noticed how sometimes I feel like a guy, sometimes a girl, and sometimes something else like non-binary. I don't feel comfortable talking to other girls about this. I just want to know if this is normal. Do other girls experience this?

(sorry if this is written badly)

I'm afab and currently don't know what my gender is. I like being a girl but I would also enjoy being a boy. Im not sure if im just transmasc, but I did find some labels that kind of fit, but not exactly. I feel like I think i want to be both, but i want to be more boyish.

(Sorry if this is bad I'm not good at wording things right 😓)

I feel a little silly making this but may as well get it off my chest. I'm a young teens afab but being a boy sounds kinda nice yk. Time to write an essay? (Please read everything before commenting?)

Evidence #1 I loove mlm relationships and NOT in a fetishy way, I'm asexual anyway, I heard that could be a sign lol. Women are just soooooo boring??

Evidence #2 If I was the exact same person I was right know but born a boy I would fw that

Evidence #3 Never cared about female beauty standards/fasion and have never worn makeup in my life

Evidence #4 Was always a "tomboy" even though I HATEEEEEE that term

Evidence #5 "Sitting like a boy" makes me very happy

Evidence #6 When playing characters as kids I would always be the one to play their opposite gender if need-be

Evidence #7 Whenever someone or myself refers to me as a girl I'm like yeah I guess?

Evidence #8 LOWKEY wish I was born male?

Evidence #9 ALL my favorite characters are male (Unless they are anthropomorphic animals, then they are all female. So idk what that means)

Evidence #10 Men 😍

Evidence #11 Men's clothing is so much better its unfair

Evidence #12 MENNNN 😭😩

Evidence #13 I like when people say I have a deep voice

Evidence #14 My first bsf was a boy

Evidence #15 Whenever a women has breast cancer or something and needs surgery I obv feel bad and like I'd give you mine if I could bcs idrc

Evidence #16 I uh kinda like it when my pad bulges out a little

COUNTER-EVIDENCE

CE #1 Male uh parts gross me TF out, main reason I'm ace

CE #2 I'm probably just having gender envy because I've been obsessed with RDR2 (OCD Obsession)

CE #3 NEVER like the idea of having short hair

CE #4 Kinda out of the blue I mean I've thought about it several times but everyone does, right?

Other Background ect.

Non-binary or genderfluid dont feel right AT ALL, maybe bi/pangender though? My parents are pretty chill with lgbtq+ I think. My sister is lesbian and hasn't officially come out to them but they know. My name is fine, very much feminine, and I like it I just don't feel connected to it ig idk if you're supposed to. I like the name "Ander" which ironically means "manly" not intentional LOL. I know nobody can figure this out for me but KfjjiLwdihdeifH

P.S: If you're gonna talk to abt me with pronouns in the comments use he/him so I can see if I like it LMAO

So, i am afab, and that doesnt bother me. But ive recently had some discussions with my friends, asking if they 'feel' like a girl, and they said yeah. But for me i just dont, i really dont care that im a girl, and if I was a guy I wouldt care, if i was nonbianary i wouldnt care. Like to me gender, of anyone, just doent matter, but especally within me, like its just not something that matters. Now, i present fem, just cuz the family im in makes me, but I feel like, again, that doesnt really matter to me. Sometimes I like guy clothes, sometimes i like girl clothes (I know that clothes dont have gender, but i hope you get my point). The other thing is no one would assume im anything but a girl, and that doesnt bother me.

I also dont really care about my name, like I have two names in my head right now in a sence. I have the name I was assined, and being called that doesnt concern me or make me feel bad, but I have a name that I chose, that ive let a couple people know about but dont really care if they call me it even though it does make me a little happyer to hear. IDK, it doesnt really matter in the long run tbh because, again, i really dont care.

Oh yeah, and right now i go by she/her irl because again, my fam, and she/they on the internet cuz no parents lol

so i’ve been questioning my gender since like 2018 and idk why i’m so scared i don’t know if i’m trans like if i don’t think abt it ig i don’t think i’m trans or i do subconsciously idek but idk if i’m scared to come out or if it’s internalized transphobia as a lot of family have asked abt it as i look and act as femenine as a girl (i guess) and sometimes people will call me a girl and i think i like it but i’m unsure someone please give me advice :)

I was born as a girl, but for the past few years I've starting questioning my gender. Being a boy feels right, but so does being a girl(sometimes), I'm not sure if I'm trans, or genderfluid, or something else. Is there a better way to figure this out?

Basically I’ll have days where I’m fine with my masculine features then the next I’ll be crying because I’m not a girl which I’m used to, but every now and then I’ll be feeling dysphoric over the fact I’m male but I know I don’t want to be female and I’m spiralling wondering how to make it stop because it genuinely kills me inside and there’s nothing to do😭😭😭

I didn't know how to word the title- but I'm wondering if the shape of my body stop me from trying to become genderfluid(?) Because I'm a person of size and the most prominent part of me gives away the very obvious female trait, but I dont wanna go by either😭

I’ve been struggling with my gender for a while but never felt dysphoria or the need to change my body. I actually love having female anatomy. I actually feel kind of like a transfemme person despite being born female. Basically I have some days where I act super exaggerated feminine and exaggerated masculine (being theatrical is part of my baseline personality tho). If anyone has any ideas or help it would be much appreciated!!

And I don’t know what they mean, I just see myself doing all the things I’ve always wanted to do and being happy, I look just how I want to be in my dreams, my voice is feminine.

One dream was just really vivid because I went to my older brothers wedding with my partner, in a really nice dress, makeup, with long hair and I was able to socialise, and actually just enjoyed myself there.

I was born AMAB so I’ve been trying to accept that I’m a trans woman but been trying to find a reason not to be, are these dreams like an indication that i need to accept it?

I was assigned female at birth, and have been pretty happy with that for awhile. I have thought about if I’d ever what do be a male, and that is a no. However, in the last year I’ve toyed with the idea of nonbinary. The last 2 years I’ve been doing very femme drag, but my namesake basically deconstructs to “nonbinary.” I’ve finally gotten a chance to actually explore what masculine drag looks like for me.

Because I’ve been able to do that, I have been thinking about what gender for me looks like. I resonate with nonbinary, however I feel like I’m too femme to be nonbinary. That’s ok for other people, but it’s not ok for me? I don’t ever want to be seen as a man, but sometimes I want to be seen as just a little guy. But I don’t feel like genderfluid/queer because I feel more feminine/womanly than I just wanna be a little guy. So then I think Demigirl. And I feel like if I identify as demigirl, that’s basically just girl and why do I even bother? For me, obviously other people are allowed to but I’m not.

So am I just a boring cis woman who does masculine drag? That just doesn’t feel right, either. I’m just unsure of my gender identity and it’s all I can think about lately.

Help.

Hi, I’ve been looking for any reason not to be a trans girl and I’m wondering if wanting to start hrt and thinking it’d be ok even if I wasn’t a girl, I’d still have a more feminine body. I’m guessing that’s a pretty big indicator of being trans but idk?

So for about two years I have identified with being a trans man, or at least a demiboy. It took a long time to get to that and honestly I kinda never felt fully confident in it, and I have had episodes of severe questioning every couple months or so, but even if I might start identifying as something else, I usually go back to feeling like a man in a couple days. But in the past few weeks it has been extra strong, and instead of feeling more non binary, I've felt heavily feminine and started to fully question an take it seriously. One part of me says that being transmasc was just me experimenting then not wanting to prove my mom right that it was a phase. Another part of me says that its just healthy experimenting and most likely specific mood shifts causing it. I don't know if I may be gender fluid since its a common thing, not trans, just questioning my true gender, or something else. I feel like if I hadn't come out to anyone and didn't feel like I had to prove myself right I might actually be happy in my gender. I keep feeling like I want to be a girl again but I also don't want to and I'm driving myself insane.

If you actually read all of this good on you, if you have any advice or something to help me work it out please share.