i hate the concept of gender. but at the same time i love it. i want to he a boy, i want to be a girl, but i never want to be just a boy or a girl. i dont want to be fully binary. but then i dont want gender at all. genderfluid doesnt feel right, nothing does.

Im going to be bringing up private things, but in would love to get some insight. So I am a pansexual male and am pretty comfortable with myself. But ive always noticed myself having feminine gestures and such, its hard to say but I'd notice myself playing with my hair or such in ways that id seen women do on TV. I was very isolated as a kid and have come to realize that is learned communication and socialization from TV. Its pretty fun tonme know that is can rewatch my childhood favorites and see mannerism that I do everyday.

When I was a kid, body swap episodes in TV always caught my attention and recently I found the movie Your Name and it is one of my favorites hands down.

Over the last few years ive started getting interested in cross dressing pornography. My fiance took me shopping for womens underwear and believes that im trans. I really enjoy wearing feminine things, like underwear. It started as a sexual thing, but now i just feels joy when I do.

Here recently I shaved my body and the experience was amazing, I was over joyed until I looked in the mirror and remembered that im a bit over weight. So I think my body shape killed it for me, but i was definitely enjoying myself before. Days after, i found myself missing my hair, and im very hairy so it took forever, so its not something im going to start regularly doing.

I like my masculine nature, but i also wouldnt mind having a more feminine body. Honestly it feels like I want both. The ideal world would be being able to switch between male and female, but besides clothes, theres no way to do that that would drastically change my body or look. Its just weird.

Am I gender fluid or am I just a crossdresser?

I'm AMAB and consider myself male but with a female-wired brain for lack of better words. I think I'm gender-flux in my feelings of my own gender both my male side and female parts of me. (Of course, your gender is as correct and valid regardless of anatomy let me just make that very clear!)

Still, I feel like a big part of my male gender is more linked to my physical sex, and social roles and stuff like that. I don't really present my "feminine side", I'm either gender-neutral or male and I'm generally comfortable with that. Sometimes I want to be female, In those times I would like to be a more masculine woman, but I wouldn't want to transition socially or physically. I have a dream of almost just being able to snap my fingers and suddenly be in the body someone born biologically female and with a female gender identity but maybe with some masculine traits.

Sometimes I see women for example on the bus and getting a strong feeling of wanting to be in their shoes. This all gets a bit constricting for me feeling like a guy, but also feeling mixed of 2 genders, being born male, but also wanting to be a masculine girl, but not presenting a lot as a feminine man. It often feels comfortable being a guy, but also a bit weird that I'm not AFAB.

(Also writing I realized for example in 65 years I can't picture myself as an old woman, only as an old man, and the same for If I'm ever going to have kids I can only really picture myself as a father and not a mother?? The women I see that I would like to see how it would be to be in their situation is pretty young usually in their early 20s. I'm in my later teens, idk if this is just because I'm looking forward to my 20's and starting university etc or if there is another reason but this is something I just thought of now)

I'm thinking about telling my friend about a queer (not genderqueer) girl I know and trust, she is relatively masculine acting in a couple of ways and has, for example, expressed frustration over how people expect her to dress because they think she dressed too manly, I feel like this is a person that I can more easily talk to about this and that will probably help me about my feelings. Still, I'm not sure what to do about what I feel even tho exploring my gender identity feels nice, it also takes it's toll going back and forth on complex feelings and so on.

I appreciate all commentary and advice greatly! Thank you for your time :)

For background knowledge, I've been AFAB and felt comfortable—though rather neutral—about that fact: going by primarily she/her. Well, that is until I joined a school's theater program, and I noticed members have been referring to me by they/them, seemly only being applied to me. Oddly enough, I don't find it bothering in the slightest. Rather, it got me thinking about my stance on identity, that being:

1. I don't hold particular attachment or feel strong about my gender, if that be strictly girl or boy: it seems flexible or undefined, however, I'm rather reluctant to say I'm genderfluid or Non-binary(?) though agender isn't a bad fit.

2. Despite initially saying "comfortable," that is not entirely true(?) I don't know how to convey it, but I always felt a pit/unease when people use gendered terms: (Ms, girl, women, etc...) when I'm nearby. However, it wasn't nagging enough for me to address. Moreover, my preferences in clothing style and presentation are stereotypically feminine, and that uncomfortablely doesn't extend to my body.

At this point, I'm just tackling myself and now debating if this all some by-product of me over-thinking. Additionly, it feels fraudulent if I'm anything but a women (she/her): everyone knows me as one and it's never been an active issue (How would I even break the news to my friends?)

I’m a man. I know I’m a man. I just don’t always feel like I am. I feel too feminine sometimes, I like it sorta, but I tell myself I don’t. I’m trying to be more masculine by looking more masculine by losing weight and buying some more mature men’s clothing. I want to be more of a man, so the feeling that I’m feminine is really debilitating. I feel so… unworthy… I guess. Like I’m not a real man. Any help is appreciated right now.

I've been bouncing around with different labels and identities in the LGBTQIA community since I was the young age of 7. I feel as if I am not aligned with my assigned female gender at birth. But I don't feel as if I'm a boy or non binary either. I love dressing up in a masc style, feminine style, and androgynous style. They all feel right to me. But using she/her pronouns of any kind makes me uncomfortable. I experience gender dysphoria but I love dressing feminine, having feminine body parts (except my chest) and I never have really saw myself with any sort of male genitalia in any way shape or form. I really need help or guidance in what label seems right for me

More context can be asked for

<3

For any current or expecting parents, guardians, or others playing a significant role in a young person’s life - if you are nonbinary, genderqueer, gender-questioning or gender-non-conforming, feel free to come check out r/nonbinary_parents!

You can also drop by if you’re not a parent but have questions. ☺️

See you there!

Okay, so I’m pretty dang certain I’m genderfluid, but I’ve been having a recurring dream recently, where I have a… uh… thing, ya know? I’m AFAB so I don’t have that part, but I seriously have had that dream now A LOT.

But I’ve also been describing myself as ‘born to be a (non-sexual) femboy’ hahaha. I am ace, so what I mean by femboy is being masculine in vibe/appearance but feminine whenever and however I want to. Whether it be a frilly dress, fancy makeup, nails, big baggy jeans and see thru shirt, or a plain shirt and top. I love dressing up in whatever but I generally hate being biologically female, the only new thing is that I’ve been having that dream. I’m confused and I don’t know how to feel about it.

Any idea as to what that could mean for me?

I'm a female but for some time I've felt weird about my gender. I've always been called by she/her pronouns, I'm comfortable with them. Though I've noticed how sometimes my body just doesn't feel right. Like with my breasts, I sometimes think they're fine, but then sometimes i just don't want them, i hate them. When someone asks me what my pronouns are I say she/her. Even with me questioning myself I always felt comfortable with saying that. Recently someone asked, I gave them the same answer as I always do, but that time it felt wrong. I wanted to say he/him. I took time to think and noticed how sometimes I feel like a guy, sometimes a girl, and sometimes something else like non-binary. I don't feel comfortable talking to other girls about this. I just want to know if this is normal. Do other girls experience this?

(sorry if this is written badly)

I'm afab and currently don't know what my gender is. I like being a girl but I would also enjoy being a boy. Im not sure if im just transmasc, but I did find some labels that kind of fit, but not exactly. I feel like I think i want to be both, but i want to be more boyish.

(Sorry if this is bad I'm not good at wording things right 😓)

I feel a little silly making this but may as well get it off my chest. I'm a young teens afab but being a boy sounds kinda nice yk. Time to write an essay? (Please read everything before commenting?)

Evidence #1 I loove mlm relationships and NOT in a fetishy way, I'm asexual anyway, I heard that could be a sign lol. Women are just soooooo boring??

Evidence #2 If I was the exact same person I was right know but born a boy I would fw that

Evidence #3 Never cared about female beauty standards/fasion and have never worn makeup in my life

Evidence #4 Was always a "tomboy" even though I HATEEEEEE that term

Evidence #5 "Sitting like a boy" makes me very happy

Evidence #6 When playing characters as kids I would always be the one to play their opposite gender if need-be

Evidence #7 Whenever someone or myself refers to me as a girl I'm like yeah I guess?

Evidence #8 LOWKEY wish I was born male?

Evidence #9 ALL my favorite characters are male (Unless they are anthropomorphic animals, then they are all female. So idk what that means)

Evidence #10 Men 😍

Evidence #11 Men's clothing is so much better its unfair

Evidence #12 MENNNN 😭😩

Evidence #13 I like when people say I have a deep voice

Evidence #14 My first bsf was a boy

Evidence #15 Whenever a women has breast cancer or something and needs surgery I obv feel bad and like I'd give you mine if I could bcs idrc

Evidence #16 I uh kinda like it when my pad bulges out a little

COUNTER-EVIDENCE

CE #1 Male uh parts gross me TF out, main reason I'm ace

CE #2 I'm probably just having gender envy because I've been obsessed with RDR2 (OCD Obsession)

CE #3 NEVER like the idea of having short hair

CE #4 Kinda out of the blue I mean I've thought about it several times but everyone does, right?

Other Background ect.

Non-binary or genderfluid dont feel right AT ALL, maybe bi/pangender though? My parents are pretty chill with lgbtq+ I think. My sister is lesbian and hasn't officially come out to them but they know. My name is fine, very much feminine, and I like it I just don't feel connected to it ig idk if you're supposed to. I like the name "Ander" which ironically means "manly" not intentional LOL. I know nobody can figure this out for me but KfjjiLwdihdeifH

P.S: If you're gonna talk to abt me with pronouns in the comments use he/him so I can see if I like it LMAO

So, i am afab, and that doesnt bother me. But ive recently had some discussions with my friends, asking if they 'feel' like a girl, and they said yeah. But for me i just dont, i really dont care that im a girl, and if I was a guy I wouldt care, if i was nonbianary i wouldnt care. Like to me gender, of anyone, just doent matter, but especally within me, like its just not something that matters. Now, i present fem, just cuz the family im in makes me, but I feel like, again, that doesnt really matter to me. Sometimes I like guy clothes, sometimes i like girl clothes (I know that clothes dont have gender, but i hope you get my point). The other thing is no one would assume im anything but a girl, and that doesnt bother me.

I also dont really care about my name, like I have two names in my head right now in a sence. I have the name I was assined, and being called that doesnt concern me or make me feel bad, but I have a name that I chose, that ive let a couple people know about but dont really care if they call me it even though it does make me a little happyer to hear. IDK, it doesnt really matter in the long run tbh because, again, i really dont care.

Oh yeah, and right now i go by she/her irl because again, my fam, and she/they on the internet cuz no parents lol

so i’ve been questioning my gender since like 2018 and idk why i’m so scared i don’t know if i’m trans like if i don’t think abt it ig i don’t think i’m trans or i do subconsciously idek but idk if i’m scared to come out or if it’s internalized transphobia as a lot of family have asked abt it as i look and act as femenine as a girl (i guess) and sometimes people will call me a girl and i think i like it but i’m unsure someone please give me advice :)

I was born as a girl, but for the past few years I've starting questioning my gender. Being a boy feels right, but so does being a girl(sometimes), I'm not sure if I'm trans, or genderfluid, or something else. Is there a better way to figure this out?

Basically I’ll have days where I’m fine with my masculine features then the next I’ll be crying because I’m not a girl which I’m used to, but every now and then I’ll be feeling dysphoric over the fact I’m male but I know I don’t want to be female and I’m spiralling wondering how to make it stop because it genuinely kills me inside and there’s nothing to do😭😭😭

I didn't know how to word the title- but I'm wondering if the shape of my body stop me from trying to become genderfluid(?) Because I'm a person of size and the most prominent part of me gives away the very obvious female trait, but I dont wanna go by either😭

I’ve been struggling with my gender for a while but never felt dysphoria or the need to change my body. I actually love having female anatomy. I actually feel kind of like a transfemme person despite being born female. Basically I have some days where I act super exaggerated feminine and exaggerated masculine (being theatrical is part of my baseline personality tho). If anyone has any ideas or help it would be much appreciated!!

And I don’t know what they mean, I just see myself doing all the things I’ve always wanted to do and being happy, I look just how I want to be in my dreams, my voice is feminine.

One dream was just really vivid because I went to my older brothers wedding with my partner, in a really nice dress, makeup, with long hair and I was able to socialise, and actually just enjoyed myself there.

I was born AMAB so I’ve been trying to accept that I’m a trans woman but been trying to find a reason not to be, are these dreams like an indication that i need to accept it?

I was assigned female at birth, and have been pretty happy with that for awhile. I have thought about if I’d ever what do be a male, and that is a no. However, in the last year I’ve toyed with the idea of nonbinary. The last 2 years I’ve been doing very femme drag, but my namesake basically deconstructs to “nonbinary.” I’ve finally gotten a chance to actually explore what masculine drag looks like for me.

Because I’ve been able to do that, I have been thinking about what gender for me looks like. I resonate with nonbinary, however I feel like I’m too femme to be nonbinary. That’s ok for other people, but it’s not ok for me? I don’t ever want to be seen as a man, but sometimes I want to be seen as just a little guy. But I don’t feel like genderfluid/queer because I feel more feminine/womanly than I just wanna be a little guy. So then I think Demigirl. And I feel like if I identify as demigirl, that’s basically just girl and why do I even bother? For me, obviously other people are allowed to but I’m not.

So am I just a boring cis woman who does masculine drag? That just doesn’t feel right, either. I’m just unsure of my gender identity and it’s all I can think about lately.

Help.

Hi, I’ve been looking for any reason not to be a trans girl and I’m wondering if wanting to start hrt and thinking it’d be ok even if I wasn’t a girl, I’d still have a more feminine body. I’m guessing that’s a pretty big indicator of being trans but idk?

So for about two years I have identified with being a trans man, or at least a demiboy. It took a long time to get to that and honestly I kinda never felt fully confident in it, and I have had episodes of severe questioning every couple months or so, but even if I might start identifying as something else, I usually go back to feeling like a man in a couple days. But in the past few weeks it has been extra strong, and instead of feeling more non binary, I've felt heavily feminine and started to fully question an take it seriously. One part of me says that being transmasc was just me experimenting then not wanting to prove my mom right that it was a phase. Another part of me says that its just healthy experimenting and most likely specific mood shifts causing it. I don't know if I may be gender fluid since its a common thing, not trans, just questioning my true gender, or something else. I feel like if I hadn't come out to anyone and didn't feel like I had to prove myself right I might actually be happy in my gender. I keep feeling like I want to be a girl again but I also don't want to and I'm driving myself insane.

If you actually read all of this good on you, if you have any advice or something to help me work it out please share.

I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE.

Now that's cleared up, where were we? Ah, yes, gender. I don't know which one I am. I'm afab, and definitely not male, demiboy or fully detatched from the binary. That said, can I create my own identity?

I understand that being a demigirl is a thing. However, thats like me wearing a dress- although I dress femininely, I won't wear it. It seems to others like its correct for me, but it isn't.

So, is it okay? Idfk I feel like I need approval from a random in the comments lol.

Hi everyone! I’m a transman looking to buy my first binder, and I’m looking for recommendations. I’m looking for one that is cost-friendly, comfortable, and long-lasting. I’m 5’5” and weigh about 200 pounds, with a larger chest and stomach

I don't know my gender. I don't even know who I am anymore.

I have autism spectrum disorder so I feel like I might be overreacting or my brain is trying to act like a few of my friends who are not cis, but I have been questioning recently.

I have known my sexuality for a few years, yet have never questioned my gender until now.

My biological sex is female, and I feel female but simultaneously feel like I am a strange other thing. However I feel like I do not fit with the demigirl label.

I look androgynous and have been mistaken for a boy before, yet people assume I am comfortable in my own skin. Truth be told, I feel like I can't be a girl. My brain doesn't act that way. But I am, as I call it, "on the girl spectrum".

I am bad at words but I hope anybody who can deal with my scattered thoughts can give me some counsel.

Help?

Thank you.

Sorry.

So I am AFAB but i don't feel like my sex. I feel like agender but still i can't take on any label bc i think like "you were born girl, you are girl". And bc of that idk if i am agender or something in between (ex. Demigirl). How to figure it out? Can it be caused of society? I really don't know. I can't talk about that with anyone irl.

I've almost always felt like a female, but I sometimes feel like a male, and sometimes gender just feels too tiring. Even when I feel feminine and someone calls me a boy or he/him, I really don't mind, and it makes me happy for some reason. I feel stupid because I think something's wrong with me because I never know what I wanna be. Is there a word for this? Any advice is VERY welcome.

UPDATE: After a long search, I discovered I'm pangender or possibly genderfluid! I'm still trying to find out, but I've narrowed it down! I wanna come out to my mom bc she knows I'm pansexual and doesn't mind, but idk if she'll understand, and I'm lazy asf. Thanks go to those who helped me :3

I’m 22 and born male and have been pretty convinced most of my life that I’m just okay with that, minus a period of my life that ended due to some parental opinions and doubting my legitimacy along with one’s active dislike for the lgbt crowd n that typa stuff and I think I might have internalized as being right for a long time. I came out as liking guys for the first time since I was young only about a year and a half ago, and now I’m starting to get some of the same type of feelings around gender that I used to where I honestly tend to prefer the idea of myself in the feminine/as a woman and really want to wear cute dresses and skirts and all that. However, whenever I get that it’s usually associated with the thought of me faking it and what would everyone else think and it makes me spiral out and distance mentally from it when those overwhelming thoughts appear. I really do want to explore it but I’m just kinda confused and scared to go too deep but also can’t afford to really try out even like the clothes because I’m in a wheelchair and on disability which my bills take almost every penny of. Half just a rant to get out, half would love to get any advice on what someone might do in my situation