So my boyfriend (18M) and I (19M), have been happily together for four to five months while at college. However, over the winter break his parents wouldn't let him leave without telling them where he was going.

He couldn't tell them the truth because his family is really strict and religious as well as very homophobic, so he is still closeted. He decided to sneak out to see me. They ended up tracking his car to my house and ordered him to return home.

After he went back home he went offline on everything and cut contact with me and all of our friends all of a sudden. This was strange as just the day before we were happily messaging each other and planning a date. His family has also suddenly decided to move. Is there anything I can do or am I just stuck here without any idea what's going on and without knowing if I'll see him again.

This will most likely be long, so sorry in advance.

My BF (30M) and I (26M) have been together (Kinda) for over 2 years. We have broken up a few times twice for less than a week and once for a month and a half. We both live with our parents and are in school full-time rn, and it's hard to manage a sex life and social life around both of our families and schedules. When you read this, I'm sure you'll question why were still together, but we do love each other. We get along well and have a lot of similar interests.

That said I try not to hold it against him when we don't have sex for a while, and I try not to pressure him into needing to have sex with me (my sex drive is much bigger than his). i generally try not to bring it up, but will kinda try to get him in the mood if the family isn't around and I see a chance. I end up usually getting told no and that he's not in the mood, and I can't force it; it has to be spontaneous or else he doesn't get into it. He makes me feel bad about trying to have sex with him sometimes, saying things like, "You need to understand the situation, we aren't having sex much because we both live with our parents, it's not my fault"... but ill comment back that "we both live with our parents so in order to have sex usually we will have to plan for when they're not around." He usually ignores my comments and interrupts me. He'll go back to his stance, "it needs to be spontaneous," and things like that. It's so frustrating. Idk what to do I'm kinda giving up.

Another thing that's been happening more recently is he makes me feel like I embarrass him, well tbh he will say I'm embarrassing him when we go out. I will dance and drink and have fun, and it's not a big deal I'm not having a crowd around me, but he just stands there, hands in his pockets swaying, barely looking at me, like he doesn't want people to know he's here with me. Sometimes we go out with friends and were all dance together, but he has a problem when I'm doing it. Recently, I met his school friend who is gay and his bf, and a few of their friends went out to the bar with us, we were all dancing and it was a lot of fun, and my bf was making the same comments to me. Idk if they heard or saw how he wasn't dancing, but they kept asking him the entire night why he was so serious/ stoic. I brought it up and he turned it back around on me, saying, "well they're being polite; they're not gonna tell you to your face that you're being embarrassing." They went up to him to tell him several times that night that he was being too serious, and apparently, they also told him they liked me better than him lol (he told me that). It was getting me really frustrated when he kept pushing off what I had to say and just kept saying that it was me who was embarrassing. He even said that there are parts of me I need to change. So I stopped talking I literally just turned and put on the tv.

I guess the advice i want is about what i should do?
I love him, but obviously, this doesn't seem healthy. He makes me feel like I'm being the crazy one, but i don't think i am, I'm def, not perfect and I have my own issues. We both have messed up, but idk if this can continue. I don't even feel comfortable being myself around him anymore.

Backstory: Met a guy on a dating app. Fell in love, moved in really fast, hit struggle quickly, and are now on a downward spiral that if not fixed will lead to our eventual breakup.

For anonymity's sake, let's call him AO, 20 years. I'm JN, 18 years.

Now AO is not necessarily a very emotional guy. He struggles severely with social anxiety, but excels in work environments and is adaptable. He puts on a constant front, which is the downside to his adaptability. He's then, understandably, not very good at communicating his needs outwardly towards me. He will when he really needs to, but struggles when he doesn't feel like the energy is worth the effort.

Now I, JN, am a very charming kind of guy. I'm good with my words, and have been told by others that I have a silent confidence that's pretty noticeable. However, I am very emotionally unstable in all truth. My confidence in public is mainly because I'm sick of feeling left behind and want to take my life seriously now, because I wasted my teens job and school hopping. I have always had mental health issues, from early childhood until present day. I, with my close friends and family, often come across as annoying because I am so emotionally attached to them that I can't chill out, I always want to be around them, constantly have something to conversate with them about, and can't stay quiet for the life of me unless I'm high as fuuuuzzz.

He wanted a relationship with me because he felt my emotions cancelled out his inability to be as emotional as most people. We bring out the brightness and smiles in each other often. We are overall best friends and lovers, and my love for him is so much more than his for me that it often makes him uncomfortable. To note, my love language is touch. I get touch starved easily, and he doesn't like touch the same way I do.

I agreed to back off a bit and feel things out some more with him tonight. It just hurts feeling like my boyfriend cannot be supportive of my efforts to move forward in life with him and achieve our goals, nor can he be emotionally available for me very often. He gives me the silent treatment just because he doesn't want to talk, and displays very distance behaviors. The problem is, it's always been like this at some capacity. Now it's just more.

Before anyone gives me the "he's cheating" line, he is so socially awkward and anxious that he would have a significant barrier to cross in doing that, like me cheating myself, which I will never do. Ever. Period. I'm his first boyfriend, his first everything.

Aside from giving him space, what can I do to strengthen our bond a bit more and make our relationship a bit more stable? Advice needed.

TLDR- unemotional him doesn't mix with touchy me and I wanna make things better. How?

It’s been a really rough year for myself and my partner. I’m 32 he’s 31. We’ve been together for about 3 years but were friends before for about 2 years. He’s bi (call him B) and I’m gay, was a total ladies man all through high school and had sex with a lot of girls in his younger years, yet he loved sucking dick on the side. I moved from Ohio to Florida back in 2017 because I found Ohio depressing and wanted to be closer to the beach. My partner and I have a lot of arguments over silly shit, and other arguments are pretty serious. What started a huge argument right before Christmas was that he might have some travel time with his new job. So he felt the need to express that if he had to leave that he would want me to come with him because he would be afraid that I would fall out of love with him and find someone else to hangout with in the six months he would be gone. There was another instance that has caused much tension in the relationship, where I randomly stopped to see an old friend I knew back in middle school. He worked at the ford dealership here in town, I stopped for maybe 15mins just to say hey how you been etc. I told my partner and he immediately felt like it was a sketchy thing to do. 3 months later he did some snooping and saw that friend was gay. Now I will say that I feel shitty for not telling him that he was gay but my intentions by stopping to see said friend were not to spark things up with some other gay man. He got super pissed that I didn’t disclose that information in the beginning and I feel as if this is a good reason to break up with him only because this kind of behavior has always been brought up throughout our relationship and I don’t see him changing that.

He says he still loves me after all the bullshit I put him through and I’ll be honest and say I’ve never had someone love me through and through like that but maybe that’s manipulative love? I’m really torn because I still have a lot of love for this man and I’m starting to think that with my rash decision of wanting to break up and move 900 miles away will destroy me mentally. Am I a pos for wanting to break up over silly things and completely up root my life here in Florida to run back to Ohio? Would it be even sillier if I stayed in Florida but we just stayed friends?

Hi Everyone,

I need some advice. I cannot give a lot of detail as my bf is always searching Reddit and all social media.

I found pictures of my bf sending explicit pictures to other people and receiving such pictures/vids as well. And we have been together for a very very long time.

I feel betrayed and my heart is in a million pieces and it feels like someone is ripping out my guts every time I think about it. Because I am a person who's love language is intimacy and that part of him should be reserved for me only.

I do not know what to do. I have been crying for two days and pretending everything is okay.

He sending these pics when I have to beg for pics like that and still do not get them. And I am just so depressed as he was the only thing still good in my life.

What do I do???

So me and boyfriend are coming up on five years now. It's been rocky at times, and the best at others. We have both had our share of growth, and aren't perfect but still try to be there for each other even though we both have our own problems to deal with. We decided this would be the year to stop fucking around, find our careers, save, and build a home together. We even booked a trip to Disney with his family even though we're broke and I haven't complained once about any sacrifice I've had to make to get us here. But then as I got plug his phone in so he doesn't wake up to a dead phone, I see messages that I couldn't ignore on his lock screen and of course I go putting my nose where it shouldn't be and hurt myself. Turns out he's been talking to guys, sending pics, OUR ADDRESS to people I don't know, and flirting with everyone that comes into his dms. Him giving my location alone made me want to wake him up with the meanest slap on this earth but I love him and still do.. I've been like silent since last night and haven't said anything so he knows but idk how to go about this subtlety. Is this common? Have you guys given your all and still been shit on? I truly don't understand it and I don't know where to go from here.

We are a cute couple, a great pair, top-notch communicators. We bond on food, movies, nature, gay drama, wine, politics, art, etc. Sure I piss him off with my tardiness here and there- but I always make it up to him in the way he likes it ;).

Overall, we are great, life is good, I’m in love. And yet, I can’t get the thoughts out of my head:

“Im too young for life-long commitment” “You are wasting his time, he should be with someone who is serious about hunkering down” “You are in your prime, you need to fuck every horny within a 5-mi radius”

These thoughts are valid yet they make me question what it is i truly want or need. Truthfully I’m lost, this is the best relationship I’ve had my entire life and I’m scared to lose it… to lose him, but on the other hand I really do feel far too young to sign it all away. I don’t know how to approach this problem anymore.

So my husband and I have been together almost 12 years both mid 40’s now We don’t vacation often because either we don’t have the money at the time or it’s too difficult to find someone to work out between work schedules and finding someone to watch our animals. My husband is planing a vacation now and it is only going to be his siblings and parents. Spouses and or kids are not invited. I can understand doing an adult only vacation with the extended family but not one that excludes the spouses. My family doesn’t operate like that and has not ever excluded the spouses from anything. But is this a normal thing? Is this how other families work and I don’t get it. This isn’t the first time they have decided to do things only siblings no one else. Please help me understand.

I need some advice because I am not sure how to feel or respond in this situation.

I will provide some info that may or may not be relevant.

I currently live in a different city due to work but I am looking to move in with him permanently. I guess you could say we have a long distance relationship. I do visit him at least twice a month on weekends or during "vacation days".

My boyfriend and I have been in a committed relationship for a year and recently purchased a home. He put down money with help from his mom from a house they sold in another city. I provided my credit along with this mom to help get a home loan. Only my name and his mom's name is on the title.

I do feel that I love him and want to be with him for the rest of my life and he says the same. He has even mentioned about wanting to get married.

Now, an old ex of his recently sent me screenshots of texts between them where they seem to flirt a little and reminisce (?) about the times they've had before. Some of those texts do mention that my boyfriend is not willing to go any further with his ex. I even asked for screen recorded video of their text thread so I could have more than enough context for the screenshots. So far, it is all talk, nothing has happened between them but I did feel hurt, or slightly hurt, that my boyfriend would be doing that. His EX also mentioned that my boyfriend had done this with a previous relationship as well.

I'm not sure how to proceed with this. Should I bring it up with my boyfriend or just kind of forget about it? My boyfriend's actions/interactions before this have given me no reason to believe our relationship is not doing well, rather the opposite.

So for context I've been with my bf for almost 9 years, the company was originally his and he asked if I would help whilst I studied, together we built up what was a successful company.

The recent cost of living crisis has meant we've lost a lot of buisness and as such we've been forced to wind down operations. He's previously cheated the in past but I've been keen to work through it and I thought we reached a point where we were okay. Since then I've helped him get a new job and worked long hours without an income to make sure the company still ran smoothly before his job transition.

It was whilst doing some website and email stuff on his PC a flirty message came up, I clicked on it and discovered he had been seeing someone else sexually. He always tells me he's too tired for any intimate time together and never intiates, I've repeatedly asked him if he doesn't find me attractive anymore and he denies it. I've even suggested an open relationship in the past but he just has secret meet ups without protection and this has sometimes led to me getting a infection as a biproduct.

He lies about what he does then blames me. And whenever I try and talk about these things he just gets angry and asks me to leave.

How do I break up with someone who won't even talk to me or be honest about these things?

So I’m 18 and have always thought I was straight, the last couple months I’ve been thinking maybe I’m into guys. I had a gf over the summer and one of the reasons that I broke up with her because I kept thinking about having sex with a dude.

About four months ago one of my guy friends kissed me. After that I started getting feelings for him, blah blah blah. But nothing happened with that as he’s straight. It wasn’t until then I realized I might have actual feelings for guys. Which is scary as hell.

So my girl bestfriend and I like each other. We’ve liked each other on and off for three years. Her and I are hanging out tonight alone and the last couple of times she’s been making moves. I want date her and be with her and I had the idea of asking her out tonight and kissing her at the new year. But I have these wants to try something with a guy and test things out.

My problem is that I really want to try stuff with a guy but also want to date and be with my bestfriend. Should I wait to ask her out and do something with a guy first and see how I like it or kiss her tonight and date her and forget everything I feel about guys?

I told a friend I had feelings after talking as friends for awhile and developing a crush on him. He just completely ignored what I had to say and changed the subject however still talks to me everyday. I still talk to him everyday but I just can’t get over how I feel about him. Every time he messages me I get butterflies in my stomach. Side note: This guy has never been in a relationship.

Currently talking to a guy (31M), have felt convos by text were usually engaged, light and interesting but I’m the one instigating. I’ve tried to back off and give them chance to message first but no joy. I’m getting mixed signals as they’ve been complimentary and stated they want to meet up.

Not sure if it’s just time of year and distractions from work, has said they are applying for a new job (happens to be closer to where I live) and also looking to move house. I feel I could carry the convos until we meet up but that I’m becoming over invested as it feels too one sided. On the other hand I’m aware that he is not long out of the closet (29, came out beginning of year) and me going quiet all of a sudden might make him think that I’m not interested? Anyone had similar experiences?

6 months before my straight FWB and I(bisexual) slept together again, because when I came to our hometown I chatted with him in a nice way, just a few questions I was already blocked, a few days later, he was sitting outside and I chatted on my other account , he replied immediately because I asked what he was doing outside, "Im with my GF" then I saw it, hes kissing hes gf, suddenly he has a GF? I cried a lot that night. I moved away from us and lived with my sisters house so I could move on, I went home after 2 weeks, but he approached me sometimes he come close one night and called my name, he called my name whether he was drunk or sober. Until I tried to make him feel if there was still a chance for us to meet, but he only replied once so our meeting is delayed, he reply and interested to mee again, until I said sweet words, "I hope you understand me because you are important to me, be patient, we will meet tomorrow because I'm with my friends" which are his former friends, he saw us laughing and Im hugging one of hes friends before. Since then he hasn't chatted anymore, he's shy of me. He went back to his old behavior before I left and worked in the city. So we haven't been together for almost 1 year even though our house is close to each other. After 6 months I noticed that he shows where I was, he is showy and interested, later he is shy again like before his behavior changes on and off, sometimes he seems like he likes you sometimes he seems shy and angry, maybe because he doesn't want to look needy or he doesn't want me to think that he might like me. This time he already broke up with he's girlfriend. One day I was walking and I saw him, he followed me in front of the house and pretended he was passing by. That night he we were drunk and together one night, I kissed him on the cheeks but he pushed me away, something happened that night but now he stayed overnight. I hugged him until he woke up, pretending to ask what time it was, but he was shy to look and I also stuttered to say something because he was sober, I knew he was different again, I hugged him and said thank you, but he didn't hug me back because he was sober. In the morning I pretend to be happy or cool, and I call his name so as not to look awkward what happen last night. I passed in front of him one night and I stroked hes hair once and left. This morning I was blocked on FB and then his account was deactivated. But why is that, what is the reason, because he no longer passes in front of my friend's house where he always used to pass. Does he have girlfriend so he block me? or does he's girlfriend read our conversation and they broke up? After that I went to my sister house again to give him space, after 2 weeks I came back to our home and pretend like he's not everywhere, though I know he can't approach me. I've notice I was singing "california king bed" he's mad and shouting "your great with bad words" then he pass Infront of me and whe he's a little bit far he shout bad words even it's not direct to me is he mad at me because I pretend I already move on?

I have been feeling quite low/depressed for 3 months, with personal issues.

I met a guy and we connected leading to fwb 1.5months ago.

Now I am in the middle of exam period with a lot of stress.

I get very sad thinking about us leaving in 2 years to different countries permanently. It makes me overwhelmed.

I am not in love or something, but I am attached, but this feeling about him leaving and rendering me helpless and sad, is unusual for me.

I never really recovered from that «low» feeling that started 3 months ago, I just carried on. Now on top of this feeling, I deal with exam stress.

So I am wondering, if these sad feelings about me and my fwb leaving in 2 years is legit? Or is it a little bother that becomes so big because I’m already having emotional difficulties.

I think it will go over once I get back to my old self, what are your thoughts?

Bf and I been together for two years now. However we’ve known each other as friends for 10 years.

The issue is he is just not interested in sex with me. If I initiate anything he will push me away immediately. It is incredibly frustrating as I’m very attracted to him and that side of things is very important to me.

He’s otherwise quite affectionate, will cuddle in bed, tell me he loves he etc. He says he has a low sex drive and just sometimes doesn’t feel like it. But we can go months without any sexual contact, and even then it feels like he’s not present.

The thing is, I know he watches porn regularly, has sex chats with other guys on Grindr (the use of Grindr is allowed in the relationship). I don’t believe he meets anyone else, but the fact that he has these outlets to be sexual whether in person or not shows that the low sex drive excuse doesn’t make a lot of sense.

We tried earlier in the year to open the relationship to see if this would help. But it didn’t - it just made me realise that what I’m missing is a sexual connection with my bf that can’t be replaced or replicated with a random hookup.

If I try to talk to him about it he gets incredibly defensive to the point of anger. I love my bf very much , and on pretty much every other way the relationship is solid. But I can’t get past the lack of sexual relationship. I’ve picked up on too many his behaviours to believe that he’s just not sexual.

What’s really going on? Does he just prefer to express his sexuality with strangers/porn rather than his partner?

Quick bullet point context:

— Me —

• 30

• Gay Male

• Broke up with ex-fiancé of 4 years this year (2022) then moved in too quickly with another guy (rebound), broke up with him and moved out again.

• Hooked-up/dated-ish with various men but ultimately they didn’t seem seriously interested in me. • Vulnerable and heartbroken at this point because of said affairs and constantly chasing love.

• Student; trying to get my life and my career together to build my future.

— Him —

• 47

• Gay Male

• Also broke up with their serious boyfriend of 4 years within a few months of my own break up.

• Teacher; well established job, house, and overall successful life minus a partner.

• DL — they’ve expressed a strong desire to finally come out when their last parent passes (it’s complicated but for them it’s better this way).

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bro, I am sooo confused.

So, I have been talking to this guy for the last few months and throughout that time we have gotten really close.

We have a routine where we text and FaceTime each other in the morning, during the day, after work, and then before bed at night, pretty much every day.

As me and this guy started talking more and getting closer with each other, I started falling hard for him. And to my knowledge, he has reciprocated some of those feelings, or at least he makes me feel like he does.

My issue is that just when I think that this feels like a relationship, he says or does something that makes me think twice and otherwise hurts my heart.

For example, he started talking about his ex very early on when we were just talking, which is normally a red flag for me if I were dating a guy, and he constantly points out hot guys in public and exchanges past sex or relationship stories with me, which honestly bothers me, but then I check myself and remind myself that we’re just friends or FWB.

Earlier today, he expressed almost like a bachelor’s fantasy, saying that he just wants to travel the world at this point in his life and have sex with beautiful man, but he also wants to have a husband with a nice job and a lot of money that he can exchange expensive gifts with, and have a house and a nice married life with. It is so conflicting.

This causes me extreme anxiety because he knows I’m a student with a $20 an hour job trying to get my shit together, and what he said, made me feel extremely embarrassed, and worthless. My self-esteem plummeted.

He has told me himself, that he is focused on me, and that he has not had sex with any other guys besides me, mainly because he is just “too busy” anyway. I believe him since we are always communicating, except when either of us is at work.

But, when I ask him directly if we’re in a relationship, if we’re dating, or if we are just FWB, he says that he’s not in a position right now to give me what I want, or be in a relationship, because he is still recovering from his recent break up, and says that I am going through same thing.

He has already done some really beautiful things for me, like be there for me on my birthday, getting me a cake, when I didn’t have anything planned because I was just too depressed of the year I was having. he has also gotten me a Christmas gift.

I can really feel that he cares deeply for me, as I do for him. But my heart yearns to be in a relationship with him, but some of his feelings and attitudes say otherwise.

Are we just friends? Should I move on and really just focus on myself? Is he, in a way, “using” me to make his life happier and fill the hole in his love life?

Any advice is appreciated because this is causing bad anxiety and even more stress/heartbreak.

I am 16 years old (M) and I have only been in a relationship with one boy before. We started dating in 2020 and I ended things with him around a month ago because we were long distance and he ghosted me for long periods of time. I didn't really see the point in putting effort into the relationship if he didn't care.

Anyway, I am trying to find a boy that I want to have a relationship with. Something that is actually serious and genuine. The only issue is there aren't really a lot of people in my area that are LGBTQ+ and I also have extremely high expectations because I don't want to get hurt like before.

This may sound stupid, but I have been binging a lot of Heartstopper lately and I really just want a relationship like what is shown in the books and TV show. Is there a way to sort of pr myself out there or find a boyfriend? I have to keep in mind there aren't a lot of options and there are a lot of homophobic people where I live.

I've (M27) recently started a relationship with a wonderful guy (M25) who's amazing. The thing is my brai n freezes up at the "I had a great time" response. How can I change this?

Any advice is appreciated.

Edit:I think should make it a little clearer. It basically goes like this

BF: " I had a great time"

Me: Brain freezes up and i dont respond gives him hug and kiss goodbye

So me and this guy we got contact several weeks ago, and agreed on fwb. Although we have grown emotionally closer, where we cuddle, invite each other to our homes, cook for each other etc. basically, we are attached to eachother.

We haven’t had sex yet, it mostly been bj, rimming, jerking off together, but we both enjoy it. He is not the kind to sleep around with people, he doesnt like that lifestyle. Whereas I am the opposite.

Last night, we were talking and I asked him about his sexual past, so he told me. And I got this unexplainable feeling of anger and annoyment. It’s not about how many he has been with, idc about that, its just the fact that he had been with someone else than me.

I think that maybe he enjoyed those guys more than he will enjoy me pisses me off? Or that I am so attached that the thought of him being with someone else is making me crazy. Also, we are leaving the the uni (abroad) in less than 2 years, and that pisses me off as well. Because I will never get to see him again and he will for sure be with someone else.

I have been in a relationship before, but have never had this kinda feeling.

Someone please help me, I dont wanna feel this way. It ruins my entire day, and I am getting super annoyed at him

Partner and i have been together for two years and I HAVE NEVER CHEATED him idk I’m on the fence about. However, I am curious as to why he assumes everyone in my life is gay such as my frat brothers, friends, etc? Also, I like to workout at night which is my preferred method to deal with my anxiety and de-stress from the day plus I don’t like working out during the day by myself.

I was divorced in June and moved out of state to heal from a toxic marriage. Without giving all the details on why we divorced, it involved drugs, toxic influences, continued lies, and one being a narcissist.

We still talk here and there and even seen each other once since the divorce. The feeling is mutual as its obvious we still care and love each other and promised we be there for each other always no matter where we are in the future. We still have each other as our beneficiary and emergency contact.

We are still there for each other believe it or not even though we are better off as friends we still talk about our day with one another and share exciting things that our happening.

Just recently I informed him that our fur baby is needing surgery and I could use his support. He agreed as our fur-baby is our child. But I recently started noticing he’s texting me at weird hours of the night and it’s becoming less and less. You say you want to be there for me and our fur baby but now I’m regretting asking for his support.

I had to reflect back to why we divorced it was because of the bad Influences in his life who supported his drug addiction. He chose the toxic people in his life over his little family! I made the decision to end it for good reasoning but why is it so hard to let go. Especially why am I giving him the chance to be in our fur-baby life.

I feel if I tell him go on with your life and forget us, I feel I’m pushing someone away from there dad. Some people may say it’s just a pet but reality is there your family. I know I’m not wrong if I make this decision but it’s the feeling like I will never have that certain someone in my life again. My emotions are all over the place even though the type environment I’m in now he’s been there for me. Is it my emotions are distracting me? Is it I’m confused?

I have been better without him and enjoying the single life and having fun but there’s a point we even discussed being roommates to help each other. I see it as a good thing but then it can be bad. I have a draft message basically saying I’m done but every time I come close to sending it I shut down and say why let someone go when there’s something there. Is there something wrong with me? Or is it because I care so much and hate hurting people.

What’s your advice? Is it I’m still stuck on this roller coaster still or am I being delusional?

I've gotten to know this guy on tinder. We had a great chemistry from the get go. We have been very honest with each other it almost felt illegal idk. And so it's been almost 3 weeks now we're doing it online and we basically talked about everything. I asked him out on date he seemed to love the idea but then canceled for family reason which i very much understood. He didn't reschedule. I hinted at it again but he didn't seem to care much. I don't want to do E-dating especially that we live close to each other. And now the relationship is starting to feel boring. That might be a problem of mine because i am sooo tired of anything online at this point. My question is how do i ask him to meet up without being too in his face about it? Because m getting so turned off by the fact that i never saw him and no actual plans to see each other. It almost don't feel real yk. Help

My boyfriend and I were having a deep conversation and stated that there is a lot of pressure to be my boyfriend because I’m such a good partner. I want to preface that I genuinely do a lot but never expect anything back. Ex: Cook our meals every day, wash the clothes, clean dishes, let him have individual time alone/with friends, personal trainer, encourage outrageous creativity that comes to his mind, try to see both sides of an argument to come to a common ground.

He just went on this tangent that I bring so much to the table it is overwhelming and makes him feel insignificant. I struggle from Hyper independence so a lot of the stuff I do is simply habit. Not to make him feel bad but I’m just particular on things. I keep telling him to go to therapy because it seems odd that he would hold resentment because I’m being a good supportive partner. He’s had a rough year and I feel like sometimes he holds resentment because I have my shit together and I’m younger than him by 3 years. He literally told me the other day that he’s in a hurricane and I’m in the car a mile away and told me to drive that he’ll make it there…which is why he hasn’t fully let me in yet. I’ve literally told him that I can give him time with a break so he can get to a better place but he doesn’t want me to leave because of the fear someone else will come and take me. It’s such a weird feeling because…how do I help? Aside from suggesting therapy to deal with this idea in his head he has. He literally told me “Do things on your own goal and savings wise and maybe we can meet at the same spot? “Like…who has a stable partner in front of them that has exactly what you wanted in a partner and you find them being that way pressure for you? I just can’t wrap my head around it.

One of the workers at the pizza shop by my place with the best pizza around is super cute and I think he might be into me. I have such a hard time telling if he is flirting or just being nice because of his job. He does always smile super big when I do interact with him and he always gives me free cups even though I don't want them and have refused them in the past. I've been thinking he is into me for a month or so but when I go in and see him working, I never pluck up the courage to talk to him and a lot of the time he is busy/distracted anyway. So I never really get an opportunity to chat him up in person.

One of the receipts I got when he took my order had his name on it. Is it weird/creepy if I added him on IG I found using his name? It's a public, open profile for what it is worth (not sure if that would make a difference).

EDIT: I reached out to him on Instagram. He did not respond to my message, but he did follow me which was kinda odd. He started posting a lot of videos on his story about relationships with females and whatnot so yeh. I was mistaken.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 years. Still very much in love and has been a monogamous relationship. A few months back my bf mentioned to me off the cuff one day would I ever be into going cruising. It took me off guard and I said I’d never say no but we haven’t talked about it since as secretly it kinda hurt me.

Ever since then I’ve been so paranoid he’s not satisfied with our relationship. He hardly ever wants to have sex and when we do it’s cause I initiated it. I’ve seen his porn history on his phone and it’s all orgies and cruising.

Last week, I went snooping through his phone (I know, not cool) but one thing I noticed is that on the home screen search bar (it’s iPhone) when I type in Grindr it came up as a ‘Top Hit’ app. It had the little cloud button beside jt, meaning it’s not currently installed on his phone, but the top hit bit has totally thrown me. Has he been using Grindr and then deleting it and that’s why it’s come up??

Just to note I typed Grindr into my search bar (as I would have downloaded it before I met him) and it doesn’t come up for me.

I’m so paranoid now that he’s been using it behind my back, not necessarily meeting guys off it but still, I’d be heartbroken to think he’s been on it and talking to others on the sly.

Can anyone advise me on this and regarding the top hit app thing?

My bf and I have been together for 6 months. Not long but everything is great. He’s not hyper sexual like I am but we are at a point where he only wants to have sex about once every two weeks when we used to have sex twice a week. He’s the bottom so he claims he is tired when he comes home from work and doesn’t want to do anything because he’s physically tired but then watches porn when I go to sleep and he stays up late. The porn also looks nothing like me lmao. I’m a 5’6” white guy with an average 🍆 and he’s only watching bbc porn with white twink bottoms (which is what he is). Is he attracted to what he sees in his porn more than he is to me? Every time we get it on, he’s very turned on and attracted to me but it’s becoming few and far in between. Is the porn affecting our sex in our relationship?

Note: I am aware that his porn taste only bothers me because of my own insecurities in comparison to the type he likes to watch

So me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years, I'm 32 he's 30. Everything has been pretty good. Yeah we've had issues, the sex life has gone a bit stale but not completely non existent.

3 months ago we had our first threesome. It really spiced things up we really enjoyed it. We even had sex again a couple of days later which was a kinda big deal having it twice in one week.

About 6 weeks ago he was out in his home town. He ended up going back with some school friend who was straight. They did some stuff but not all the way. He came home admitted it and was extremely sorry. I reacted very strangely to this. I literally did not care. In fact I found it quite hot because he was straight. He was a little shocked I wasn't more upset.

Fast forward to last weekend. We were both at a party. I got drunk and went home about 1. He went to another party and ended up fucking one of our friends friends who I met at the original party. He was there all night. Again he came home and admitted everything. Wishes he didn't do it, he was very drunk etc.

I'm battling over the options over what to do next. Could break up but I know I'm just gonna feel so alone.

We've also discussed opening the relationship up. He did it for the thrill of meeting someone new and I get that. One thing I read on here is that open relationships need to be built on trust well, the trust is there because he's always admitted it. Within hours. Obviously we'd set some boundaries.

We need to get the excitement back somehow and I feel this could work. It's also worth noting that our sex life has been pretty dead the past 2 months as I had some surgery which I'm slowly recovering from. Not that this excuses him. I wouldn't mind the opportunity to dabble as he's a selfish top anyway 😂.

Thank you for reading my thoughts. I just wonder if anyone's experienced anything similar and if opening up might be good for us.

Some of wonderful people have been keeping up with my crazy ass relationship. If you want, there are a couple of posts on my profile about whats been going on, if you want the full picture of what i've been going through please feel free to read those. Im kinda new to reddit and dont know how to attach posts to posts. lol!

Quick recap: Boyfriend of 2 years was doing some fuck shit. He kept having "mistakes" talking to his ex and lied about it, talking to other people online, giving me an STD, texting someone while we were together and then talking to his ex again. He says that this time he was talking to his ex they were trying to be friends. But according to her posts on twitter it was more than that. During all of this I had stayed faithful, given him grace, blamed myself and was trying to make things better. The last couple of months I had been struggling because I thought maybe I was over reacting and confused because he would say he loved me, but still do the things that would hurt me the most. I start to get mad the more I thought about how much I was trying to fix something that wasen't necessarily my fault. I had been doing everything in my power to be a good partner. So the more I thought about that the more I was like "fuck this". So I redownloaded gridr and met someone on there I was kinda talking to. It was kinda sexual but not that bad more flirting and complaining about our partners to each other.(He was in an open relationship) I could never bring myself to meet up because I didn't really want to. I mean, I did, but I can admit this, I wanted to get back at him. After all I had done for him (paying for the treatment of an STD he gave me, sleeping in the car with him when he had no where to go, paying for the first year of our relationship, ect. I was just doing things I thought were right being in a relationship) He could still go behind my back and do some fuck shit like text someone while we were having dinner together. But I just couldn't do it, even though I was pissed. I didnt really want to do that to him. if that makes any sense. This other dude and I never met up, just texted. My boyfriend found out that I had a grindr and was pretty upset. So I deleted the grindr but me and the other dude would still text from time to time. Maybe like 3 times every couple weeks. not consistent at all.

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Update: My boyfriend finally went through my phone(I had told him he could a long time ago) and found out that I was talking to this guy.. he was pretty upset. He was thinking about breaking up over it. He gave me a pretty hard time which is understandable. But compared to everything he did, I had started to really think he didn't give a fuck.

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I apologized and actually felt(still feel) really bad. I had come out of my character and did something to get back at someone. That wasen't who I am. This other guy didnt mean anything to me, so I had no problem blocking and deleting his number. My boyfriend since then, has actually changed alot. it hasn't been a super long time, but I can defiantly feel the shift in energy between us.

SIDE NOTE: AITA for talking to this other guy? I mean yes, I know it was wrong if I was in a committed relationship. After everything I had been dealing with, IDK, I feel like I can justify it my head and I know the action was wrong.

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But I am stupid for sticking it out? Is it dumb to stay in this relationship? Am I dumb for having faith that this time will be different? I mean, I know how that sounds.. But I don't want to lose him. I've found it extremally hard to find someone accepting of me being gender fluid. But I don't wanna be made a fool again. I don't want to put my faith into this only to be burned down the road.

Lastly, which is one of the burning questions im constantly thinking about, Do you think this change is temporary? Do you think he is only doing any of this because I matched his energy. That he thinks that what he did is ok but me doing it is not?

Request: Please don't be judgemental open relationships can be complicated but we're adults and this is what we choose to do.

Context: Me (31M) and my friend (39M) have known each other for 5 years. I am married and in an open relationship. We fell in love last year but in September of this year we decided to go platonic because he met someone he wanted to potentially date. I've enjoyed our friendship and encouraged this new situation. Recently I was visiting him and he was giving me mixed signals and initiated a failed awkward 3some with a different guy he had a history with while we were out clubbing (keep in mind he's not exclusive with this new guy). He botched the experience and kind of left me feeling like an outsider. He apologized and I forgave him for it. As I was leaving I remembered some things he said about this new guy. He was saying he wasn't sure because the new guy didn't have his life completely together. He also said "notice I haven't mentioned 'new guy' a lot" despite having talked about him multiple times and saying that he missed this new guy while we were hanging out. I'm starting to think that he's self sabotaging and I want to be respectful of his agency. My friend is older and I don't want to sound patronizing. A part of me also thinks that he may be feeling guilty about having initiated sexual activity with myself and the guy at the club. While he and his new boo aren't exclusive they may be heading toward monogamy and I'm not aware. I could also be wrong. I don't want him to miss out on an opportunity with this new guy and I want him to be happy.

My question: should I mention the self sabotage behavior? Is this even what I think it is? Is it my business in the first place?

More context: the next time he and I speak I plan to make a clean break to any sexual activity with him or any third party and reinforce my support for this new situation he had going on. My love for my friend is beyond anything sexual/intimate. I feel invested in his best interest and don't want to to turn as blind eye to questionable behavior.

TLDR: ex-fuck buddy/lover has a new guy but may be engaging in self sabotaging behavior. Should I say something? How can I be the best friend possible for him?